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My Heart Bleeds For You	By : ThePhantomPixie Category: Harry Potter > Het - Male/Female > Remus/Hermione Views: 14631 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor the characters from it. I do not make any money from this fanfiction

Chapter List
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" … no the incantation needs to be said during the third flick, not the second. I had to spend a long time turning my poor turtle back after it ended up halfway transfigured. Poor little thing." Hermione mused, watching as Lily attempted to practise her transfiguration work. She was very limited to how easily she could create things it could be said; but it seemed that her affinity with potions meant that in that field she was able to finally unabashedly ask for help on the subject of amortea. When she had last attempted the potion she found that instead of finding what true love smelled like -Parchment, pine, ink and chocolate- she had found what did not smell like true love. And which made her retch for the next few hours of lessons. A smug professor snape taking countless points off Gryffindor for her lack of concentration. She did wonder how he and Lily had ever been friends. They were so distinctly not alike. "Plus, this one makes me think that the poor turtle is in pain I mean … if it ends up with its head on top of the spout of a kettle … it has to be painful right? So this one really does need a lot of focus." The chestnut haired witch mused, running an ink smudged finger over the text she was reading from while simultaneously taking notes with the other, not looking at her parchment but knowing fine well how to take notes while reading something at the same time. It had helped her on numerous occasions. "Plus, I wouldn't feel put off, I really wanted to take transfiguration for the chance to see what my Animagus would look like if I completed the work for it. It looks like a lot of heavy reading but I think I could manage it. I'd need to wait until after I leave of course, If I'm not registered I don't want to cause any trouble with the ministry."

Of course, the ministry would want to know why an unknown student with no family, no -one knowing her and no passing grades had become an Animagi. They would ask questions, perhaps put her away from being a suspected Death Eater. No, Hermione couldn't go through being held captive again, she couldn't sit in some cell for an unknown amount of time like she had at Malfoy Manor. There was absolutely no way that she would be able to cope if that happened. Her mental stability in the mean time was so fragile it was an astonishing feat to see her as she worked her way through countless texts, managing to coach not only Lily in transfiguration but one of the other females in the house on her charms work. Hermione was an excellent student. It would be strange when classes began to not throw her hand in the air to answer questions and come off too smart. That could end in disaster. There was clearly no easy way of distinguishing what she could and could not do given the circumstances. There was no way to avoid the marauders, or Lily. As they had felt it their mission to integrate themselves into her life, yet she knew that meddling with the forces of time was something not even she with her heightened intelligence should have attempted.

She hadn't even meant to go back this far! Twenty hours at the most. Not twenty years!

But it was done now. She had no way of returning, she would need to accept that for now she was trapped in a time not her own; helping her best friends mother study for an exam that Hermione would need to take again due to not having actually say any of the exams.

"Hermione!" Lily said frustrated, waving her hand in front of the girls face and causing her to jump, effectively making her quill run over the length of the parchment she was writing on. What made her squirm however was the way that Lily was looking at the words she had subconsciously been tracking. A log of her thoughts, tracking from professor Snape and his stupid taking points from her house to how she was helping 'Harry's Mum' do her homework. "What gives Hermione?" She asked in a frustrated voice, snatching the parchment from her room mate without a second thought and moving away. Causing the new girl to stand slowly, her hand moving to her top self consciously as she shook her head and mumbled. "Don't read it, don't read it." Over and over, walking towards the red head with a pleading expression.

"No, Hermione. You don't answer questions and then you write this?-" She indicated by waving the parchment around a little. Causing the Marauders to look up from their plotting and become interested. "If I didn't know any better Granger I would ask you about it; but you wouldn't tell me would you. You don't tell anyone anything. You don't tell us why Dumbledore has secret meetings with you, you don't tell anyone why you ended up here or by what means might I add, and you won't tell anyone about how you got all those bloody marks but this I am not letting go."

"Lily Evans you will give me that back if you don't want to be thrown in into a whole load of troubles in your very near future. You're not allowed to know what I know. And that's through a power far higher than Dumbledore himself so I will ask nicely. Give. Me. That. Back." It was the first time that Hermione really looked like the war veteran that she had been groomed to be since she turned eleven. Her eyes took on an almost fiery quality, her arms taught and stiff, wand hand twitching to grab the wooden implement of focused magic and simply Accio the parchment. But in doing so she would alert the others around her that this was something not just between the two girls. "If you do not give me that back Evans, I swear on your sons life you will regret it." She threatened, patting the side of her jeans where her wand was situated. At this point, letting go of the top and reaching a hand out to her room mate. "That's not a threat, Lily. That is what will happen." She said softer, everything about her shouted attack mode and without realising it the four boys stood tightly around their red haired companion. Effectively blocking her from getting to Hermione even if she wanted to give her back the parchment.

"My son? You have some cheek Hermione. I don't have a son."

"you will do. I'm breaking so many rules even letting you know that but you will. I can't say much more without seriously damaging the future. So please, Merlin just give me that."

"Evans? What is it."

"Here, lemme!" Sirius said excitedly, tugging the parchment from the red heads grip and rushing off toward the other side of the room. Causing Hermione to simply sigh and walk towards the fire. Sitting down in front of it with her knees to her chest and scowling into the orange dancing flames. "Evans you got it all wrong. The girl's probably messed up in the head. She calls this kid Harry Potter all the time, and you and James ain't getting freaky with it any time soon." He said, laughing hysterically at her writing. "And ProfessorSnape? The day Snivellus gets to be professor is the day I give up women!" He guffawed. If only he knew how much that would result in not eight years in the future. Into her future.

"Really? Gimme that!" James had rushed over to his friends side and was currently staring at the parchment with a look of both awe and confusion. "Hey Granger, you a seer or something?"

But she did not answer.

Hermione simply sat silently in front of the fire, watching as the flames licked up the back wall, the plumes of smoke it delivered shooting up through the chimney and into the unknown. It was interesting … there were no real chimneys in the school. Odd. Of course she expected it was something to do with the way the school was connected to the floo network. Couldn't have floo dust in the atmosphere now could they?

"Granger I asked you a question." He repeated, a smug grin on his face at his assurance of power.

"Yes, yes you did." She said simply, still not answering the question and causing Remus to simply snort and laugh at the backfired plan from the unofficial leader of the Marauders. He however could sense something was more wrong than just few written down oddities that did not fit with their surroundings. Sure, Evans and Potter had been doing the dance of love for the past few years and it was only a matter of time. And Snape was good at potions. Slughorn could learn a thing or two from the kid. But there was something else about the girl that he simply could not shake off. It was like a draw toward her, like if he was to keep her safe she would feel better. She was so fragile looking when they first brought her to the hospital wing. Explaining with panic and worry on their faces that this was not a prank gone wrong and that they were returning from a full moon when they saw the girl lying on the edge of the forest like that. Now she had a strange wall around her. Like she was holding back, hiding something. If he hadn't been able to see her forearms so clearly he might have suspected her as a Death Eater. That was after all where they were rumoured to lurk. But she didn't have one. Just a look of … loss. That was the best way to describe her. She was lost. Of course being someone who was so secretive it was impossible to determine for what reason she found herself unable to become comfortable in her own skin within the walls of Hogwarts. Surly she knew that this was the safest place in the wizarding world.

Well … not of a full moon anyway.

When the full moon came around, Remus felt the draw from the moon, her light bathing the ground as he came over in the terrible transformation. Painful and frightening from a young age he had learned to deal with the cracking of bones, of stretching skin. Of hairs pushing their way through his body, of growing a tail. He may have gotten used to transforming, but there was no way he felt comfortable enough not to cry out during the transformation.

Those had been the most lonely moments of his life, sitting in the shrieking shack. By himself. No-one to comfort him as his mother had tried to before when he was a child. It had ended terribly for her. And his father. He never spoke much about his parents other than the marauders, they understood that due to his 'condition' his parents were never home during the holidays. Most of which he spent sleeping over at the Potters or here in Hogwarts. It was a safe haven for him even when he couldn't tell anyone his secret.

Yet even when he could not tell his friends about his 'furry little problem' he found that he still tried to enjoy school life. Not keep himself hidden away from the rest of the world. So it wasn't something that he could totally relate to.

"Just ignore them. They're prats." He said softly, shifting from his comfortable chair to the floor beside her. Mimicking her position. One he had so many times fell victim to sitting in during the nights of the full moon. "Prats; but mainly harmless if you get on their good side."

"I know." She said quietly, the crack in her voice causing his heart to physically break. She sounded as broken as she had looked. A Gryffindor should not have to be a lone one, no matter what.

"Hey, how about this. Those two or anyone else bug you; just lemme know. Kay? I'll watch out for you." He offered, seeing her shrug and mumble something incoherent along the lines of 'if only you knew'. But she nodded none the less, even if she had turned away from him slightly. It was a start if anything. "Right then. Lets start with this." He put a hand gently on her shoulder before standing upright and walking over to the boys and Lily who were now laughing at James attempt to show McGonagall how good at Quidditch he was, and subsequently being given a weeks detention scraping the floors of the owlry without magic. Giving them a single look and opening his hand for the piece of parchment. The expressions they all suddenly sported told him exactly how little they trusted the new girl, yet knew that when Moony was absolutely set on something they were good not to do otherwise.

"She's not right you know." James said seriously, pushing up his glasses from falling down the bridge of his nose as Lily streaked away, minding herself that she had just laughed with James and Sirius. Even if it washilarious to imagine James scrubbing the muggle way. "Something just doesn't fit. I'm probably gonna ask my father to search for her family." He said more to Sirius than Remus; yet he handed over the parchment which they had scanned for anything dangerous, only finding hilarity in the words.

"Doesn't mean you have to be a prat. I mean … look at her. She looks more lost than I did." He said quietly, looking back over his shoulder at Hermione who had begun tearing at odd bits of parchment she had from the table and throwing them into the fire. Each piece tiny and full of hurt. Watching something burn … even to the nicest of people could be a hypnotic state. To see the way the untouchable flames tore apart anything that it could latch on to. A hand, some paper … anything hat it could burn it would curl around and eat away at. Turning it from one thing into another. Neither Remus nor Hermione could say there were a fan of fire. But it was soothing. "Don't be a prat 'cause you don't know her and she doesn't play by your rules." He added, more sternly as he took the paper from his friend and walked back over the fireside. Offering it down to her. "If they touch you. I'll deal with them. Alright?" He reminded, watching her nod slowly, and carefully reach for the parchment. Exposing a little bit of the dark skin below the line of the collar. It made Remus jump back in shock. Perhaps he had been wrong about the dark mark? It was the only thing that sprung to his mind as he saw her catch his gaze and cover it up ashamedly. Taking the parchment and slowly reading over the offending sentences that she had mistakenly written down.

With a snarl she troe at the parchment and threw it in the fire. Her eyes shining more than they had once been.

It was all Remus could do to simply watch as she stood from the floor and stalk back up the stairs to the girls dormitory, a hand over er eyes as she lazed her way past a shouting James and Sirius and slamming the door behind her. Not even Lily stirred from her seat by the study table. Yet she could help but look over at the notes that had been left for her to use. She was astounded at the amount of studying the girl could do at one time, her mind simply absorbing any and all information that passed her way. Everything exceptpotions. However that came as a fine art much like cookery, too little or too much and everything was a mess. And while Lily struggled with the theory behind much of her studies in Transfiguration; the notes she had written were like a key into understanding. In fewer words she managed to show Lily more about what she had been struggling with than Professor McGonagall could ever hope to achieve.

On the other side of the girls dormitory, pacing the floor. Hermione let her eyes leak with tears as she subconsciously rubbing up and down the scar that traced across her upper body. Hissing at the pain of it being disturbed. That would forever be a curse she live with. The pain that the ugly purple scar could provide her with. A constant reminder that even in another time, she could relive the pain of losing so many for a cause that in the end she still lost the things most important to her. Sobbing silently with the hand running harder against the scar Hermione found a sick pleasure in the pain. It was hers and hers alone to be burdened with; it would never go away. The pain of the night in the Department of Mysteries … of watching the same Sirius black that was downstairs calling her out; die. She couldn't go through that again. She couldn't let something like that happen.

She had to stop it happening. All of it.

Taking a deep breath and using a spell to remove the effects of crying Hermione rubbed her eyes free from tears and turned toward the door that lead to the common room. She was not going to go through it again. She would change history. Harry would have his mum and Dad, the marauders would not have the chance to be betrayed by Peter. He would not be one who was taken in by Voldemort and his power hungry ambitions that in Twenty Years time would fail at the hands of a sixteen year old. No. Hermione could face losing her future, if not her very existence to the chance that she could change the world for the better. "Dumbledore." She mumbled, transfiguring the slippers into suitable flat shoes and opening the door wide to the common room.

Without sparing a glance at anyone, the new girl felt the weight of her decision on her shoulders.

If she tampered with time she could be sent back without even a memory of what happened. If she had no chance to go back then why would she remain in the time.

If all else failed, she would step in and be the one to kill Voldemort himself. After all, the prophecy only arrived after James and Lily were married. So she had two years to formulate a plan and put it into motion. To find Voldemorts Horcruxes. To destroy them. And kill him in the process.

"Hoi, Granger. We want a word with you." Shouted an irate James Potter. He cared very little for the fact that she was lost in the eyes of the kind hearted Moony. He looked out for others being a werewolf he knew what it was like to be hated and to hide from the world. But James could not see things like that. He only saw what he wanted to. He grew up in a wealthy pureblood family. Until Sirius came to live with him he didn't even know about the supremacy act. He simply saw everyone as a person, it was like opening a new door to him. That did not however stop him from pursuing his goal of keeping himself at the top of the school. "You're hiding something. And we wanna know what." There was the obnoxiousness of James Potter that from stories told by Lupin and Sirius before their deaths that told exactly why she refused to date him prior to Seventh year. Honestly, Hermione couldn't blame her for being against the boy. His immaturity and tendency to flaunt himself about made him no different than the pureblood Slytherins. If only he knew how everyone else could see him.

"If I had intended for you to know Mr Potter, then you would by now. As it stands, I do not. Therefore, you will not know. And try pulling that 'holier than thou' crap on me again. Go on. I dare you. I am a force to be reckoned with Potter. Don't think twice about trying to be above me. You. Are nothing." Seething at the very thought of someone else treating her the same way Malfoy had all those years in school, how the Death Eaters showed her no respect, treated her like they should worship the ground they walked on … she had a very thin patience for such actions.

"What did you just say to me?" The boy asked incredulously. It had been a long time since someone decided they wanted to speak back to the pureblood. Sure, he was a jokester and liked to play pranks on people. But he felt the words strike far deeper than just a simple nagging at his behaviour.

"You heard me." She said with a low growl, turning around and looking him in the eye. A dark hollow shell of what used to hold sparkles during her youth. Her eyes were dead, but there was a terrible anger behind them. Irrational though it may be. "I've had enough of people like you Potter. I will not take it. You do not get to order me around, you do not get to consider yourself above me and you don't most certainly do not get to think about trying to use your magic to get me back. Trust me, you will fail. You may think you're fun is something of a celebrity inducing power. But let me tell you; I have met wizards who are so much more than you are right now, and who have been since they were a child. You may think this is all fun and games; but if you haven't noticed Potter you are in the middle of a war. And using that attitude, let me tell you. Will not get you anywhere but six feet under ground thanks to Voldemorts stupid power parade!" Her voice low and hissing was enough to send the usually cocky marauder walking backward to get away from her. She turned around to walk out through the portrait. Barely hearing the mumbled 'freak' from the two main marauders.

She needed Dumbledore now.
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My Heart Bleeds For You