Adult-FanFiction.org : Harry Potter

Vices	By : BurningNebula Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Harry/Snape Views: 8682 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 2
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, or any related characters. I do not make any money from the writing of this story

Chapter List
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A/N: This chapter gave me so much hell. I am absolutely antsy to see what people think of it. You might be slightly confused by this Harry after this chapter, but he might surprise you yet. Anyway, I love reviews.

  Harry chose the restaurant after Severus insisted. He led them out into Muggle London and through several streets to a tiny Indian restaurant, claiming that it was better than any other one he’d ever been to in the city. When they arrived, Severus had to agree that, just by the look of the place, it seemed far superior to the average curry place.
                They had a pleasant meal, during which Severus informed Harry that he’d been to the library that day and met Hermione the librarian, and of the research he’d done while he was there. He figured he’d save the details for when they returned to Harry’s apartment to work. Harry in turn informed Severus that he would not like one of Severus’ lamb samosas because he was vegetarian, and agreed that being a librarian was about the most fitting career possible for his studious friend. Severus thought it was almost surreal how they were sitting here, conversing with each other in a manner not at all awkward or forced or hostile, as it might have been if Severus had found himself in this position all those years ago. He had perhaps felt a bit of that easy feeling every single time he had spoken with Harry since a week ago, but now, in a situation like sitting and having dinner, it was brought into sharp relief.
                As student and professor at Hogwarts, they had absolutely loathed each other. Surely, at that time, Severus could never have imagined doing something like this. There was something, however, about the way that everything had been left between them after the Battle of Hogwarts, never speaking to each other for six years after Harry had been enlightened to Severus’ true role in the war, which seemed to have changed even though they had had no contact. They’d both changed as people, certainly; that much was inevitable. People’s views on life changed all the time. However, this was different. It seemed that though they hadn’t spoken at all that whole time, that there was some instinctive understanding each had of the changes in the other. The details were yet to be learned, but the general idea was accepted and known to each of them.
                This was something Severus was unused to, having any sort of easy camaraderie. The last person with whom he had confided anything remotely personal had been Dumbledore, and that seemed like a lifetime ago. Before that had been Lily, and that was so far distant, it seemed like something he recalled from a film about another person’s life. True, he and Harry had barely begun to really know one another, but it seemed like it would not be a difficult thing in the least, when and if the time came. It was a prospect that, by habit, seemed alien simply due to how long Severus had dealt with isolation and general distrust of others. He honestly didn’t know why he felt so intrinsically trusting of Potter, especially when he had never done so in the past, but here he was and there was no denying it.
                At some point in the middle of their meal, they’d stopped speaking, though the silence was not uncomfortable. After a few minutes of quiet, Severus glanced up briefly at Harry, and then did a double-take as he realized Potter had been studying him in between bites of spinach paneer. He felt a little awkward under the scrutiny though Harry seemed quite at ease. He wiped his mouth and took a sip of water before meeting Harry’s stare.
                “What?” Severus asked, sounding a bit short even to himself. Harry seemed to snap out of some sort of trance, as though he hadn’t been aware he was staring. Spacing out was something Severus hadn’t seen Harry do in a long time, not since Hogwarts days.
                “Er, nothing,” Harry said, and a faint colour rose to his cheeks. Severus’ eyes narrowed and lifted an eyebrow simultaneously. “Just a bit spacey, I guess.”
                Severus decided not to push the subject, but couldn’t help but notice that Harry wouldn’t look at him again for the rest of the time they spent in the restaurant.
                When at last they had left the restaurant and made their way back to Harry’s little apartment, they began preparing for the portion of work they’d already planned. Severus decided while they chopped ingredients and fetched needed equipment, that he should tell Harry about what he’d learned at the library.
                “I took some time to consider how we’re going about the solution to this problem,” He began. He didn’t want to go through anything Potter might have found out for himself during his process of experimentation, but he didn’t know what Harry might’ve already learned. “I was reading about the specifics of the transformation process today at the library. More precisely about the changes undergone by the nervous system during it.” He paused here, hoping Harry would enlighten him as to whether or not he’d already taken this tack. Harry, however, just paused in the middle of chopping leeches, and looked up, listening intently. Severus cleared his throat before continuing.
                “Well, I was thinking about what we are attempting to produce, and how it’s essentially a very potent pain potion which is made compatible with the more volatile components of the Wolfsbane,” Severus said haltingly, not sure why he was acting so shifty and uncertain of himself. “Stop me, of course, if you’ve already tried this, but I was thinking about a certain characteristic of the Wolfsbane, the part which calms the victim through the duration of their transformation and how it acts on the nervous system; I thought perhaps it was worth a try to alter this characteristic alone, which as you know is produced by, at most, eleven ingredients. To alter only this would cut down on not only production time and cost, but also we could tweak it to act precisely how we intend. We know it already calms the victim by acting on certain areas of the brain despite the physical changes it undergoes, and perhaps we can make it so that it dulls the activity of the part which senses pain also.”
                There was a silence which followed, where Severus could swear he heard Harry’s mind working. Harry hadn’t moved a single muscle since he’d stopped chopping, and Severus knew his intent stare was a delicate mask for the furious workings of the gears in his head.
                Suddenly, in the time it took Severus to blink, Harry had flown over to where his notes were still scattered on the floor and crouched down to riffle through the pages. He stopped here and there to scan the words, before tossing pages aside to continue his search. Eventually he found what he must have been looking for, because he stood and read the long parchment carefully. After a long minute, he let his hands fall to his sides, the parchment still clutched in the left one. He seemed to think for a moment longer and then turned slowly to Severus.
                “That… that is fucking brilliant!” Harry said with a slight laugh and a calculating look in his eyes. “How did I not think of that? How has no one thought of that? God, Severus, I could just kiss you.” Severus felt heat rise into his neck and face, but Harry didn’t see it, for he had already turned back to his notes and was retrieving some more pages.
                “Hmm, the only thing I could imagine being an issue is that we’d basically be making a new, untested potion,” Harry said quietly, almost to himself. “But it sounds like it could be a lot more efficacious than our current plan.”
                Severus moved to his stack of books from the library and pulled from it the book which had given him the idea, which had explained in great detail the functionality of each ingredient and brewing process included in the making of the Wolfsbane. He opened it to the relevant pages and brought it to Harry, and they commenced to spend at least forty-five minutes discussing the different possibilities for making Severus’ idea work.
  The discussion turned into a debate which bordered on an argument in which Harry was overeager to begin testing Severus’ idea immediately, and Severus insisted that they finish the potion they were already attempting, if for no other reason than to be ready in time for Teddy’s next transformation. Harry seemed to realize that was perfectly reasonable, but stubbornly asserted his point, though Severus had the distinct impression that Harry knew it was a weak one. In the end, Harry conceded. The argument had lasted at least another thirty minutes.
  Harry had gone back to chopping leeches in a somewhat sullen manner, and Severus was separating parts of Poppy plants, when they heard a soft knock on the door to the workroom. The door cracked open and Luna stuck her head in.
                “Oh, good, you’ve stopped fighting,” Luna said brightly as she entered with a coffee pot in one hand and three mugs in the other. “I’ve made some coffee.”
                “Weren’t fighting…” Harry grumbled under his breath, and Severus wondered at how the man could still manage to be childish at times.
                Luna ignored him and sat in an armchair, pouring the coffee and setting two onto the side table before pouring herself some. Harry went and retrieved them before bringing Severus his. He took it with a nod and drank a sip while meeting Potter’s eyes, finding something in them that he couldn’t quite identify. It seemed part sulking and part apologetic, and to Severus that seemed part endearing and part infuriating. He couldn’t help but be amused though, and rolled his eyes as he gave Potter a small smile. No words were exchanged, but Harry’s demeanor seemed to shift to brighten as a result.
                “You’re looking quite nice today, Severus” Luna said in her usual dreamy manner, causing Snape to look over to her and then down at his own clothes. “That green suits you very well, especially since green is the colour of the heart chakra.”
                Severus had no idea what she was talking about, which was a little irritating to him. His brow furrowed as he looked to Harry for explanation, since any from Luna seemed unforthcoming as she had turned her attention back to a small sketchbook she’d brought in with her. Harry met his eyes and smiled widely, looking Severus up and down before winking and turning back to preparing ingredients. Severus huffed indignantly and turned to the cauldron, adding the opium pods from the Poppies. He found that when he could not discern a comment made to him as a compliment or a slight, he assumed the latter.
                They worked quietly for a while, adding ingredients and stirring carefully, until they came at long last to the final stage of this portion of their experiment. There was only one waiting period left, before they added a final ingredient and would be able to finish the potion off as one would normally make the Wolfsbane. It was nearly midnight.
                “All right,” Harry said, stretching so Severus could hear his back cracking, “Time for a break. Care for a drink?” He asked. Severus looked over at Luna who had fallen asleep, her head of wavy blonde hair resting against the wing of the armchair. Turning back to Harry, he nodded.
                Harry led him to the kitchen and retrieved a bottle of Scotch from a cabinet, as well as two glasses from another. Severus felt one of his eyebrows hitch upwards.
                “What, no ‘cheap-arse gin’ this time?” Severus said with a sardonic smirk. Harry smiled indulgingly at him.
                “No, I found myself rather fond of your choice in liquor,” Harry said lightly. “Though I suspect I’m a bit better at drinking it than you are.”
                “Better in which way, Potter: being physically capable of pouring it down your throat or actually handling its effects?” Severus said snarkily, though with a smile in his eyes. Harry laughed cheerily, and set a glass in front of Severus before settling himself in the chair across from him and pouring himself one.
                “After all these years, do you think I’m not immune to your peculiar brand of humour?” Harry asked, still smiling cheekily. “And what I meant, is that I could drink you under the table any day of the week.” Severus looked amusedly at Harry, and refrained from rolling his eyes.
                “I hope that’s not a challenge, you might regret it,” Severus said, trying to seem aloof, but having the impression the effect was lost on Potter. “Besides, Scotch is not for drinking others under tables.”
                “And if it was? A challenge that is,” Harry said, narrowing his eyes and grinning sideways at Severus.
                “Then consider me slapped by the metaphorical glove, because I accept,” Snape replied nonchalantly. “Though, like I said, you’ll regret it.”
                “Ha!” Harry laughed triumphantly. “I knew you could be fun some of the time!”
                And with that, Harry added another measure to their glasses.
***
                An hour later, Severus found himself being taught the rules to a Muggle game called Palace, with a set of Exploding cards, because Harry couldn’t find his Muggle deck. Severus wasn’t sure if it was the game itself, or the occasional minor explosions, or the fact that he was playing with Harry, but he was enjoying himself immensely.
                Every time Severus forgot the rules and went to make a false move, Harry’s hand would come down upon his own, and Harry would make him guess the rule he’d forgotten. When he asked Harry why he did this, his response was that it was the only way to learn when one is drunk.
                Eventually, Severus won the game, by luck and a chance explosion.
                “So what did Lovegood mean by that comment about ‘heart chicas’?” Snape asked, only mildly inebriated, but enough not to care about being embarrassed by using incorrect terms. They were six drinks in, and he couldn’t help but find the experience of getting drunk with Harry rather entertaining.
                “The heart chakra,” Harry corrected as he collected the cards and set them aside, “or Anahata, is one of the seven major chakras. I assume you’re not familiar with chakras?” Severus shook his head slightly, frowning. His instinctive dislike for being uninformed on any subject was brought to the forefront of his mind, and he leaned onto the table, listening closely to what Harry was telling him.
                “The chakras, in Hindu tradition as well as other belief systems, are points in the body that are centres of vital energy,” Harry said matter-of-factly, and Severus couldn’t help but think how like a teacher Potter sounded. Harry stood and turned his back to Severus, pulling up his shirt to show Severus the symbols that had previously bewildered him; Harry motioned to the green one, which was the fourth one down in the line. “It’s considered to be related to the colour green, hence the comment Luna made. I just thought it was funny, because the heart chakra is considered to involve rather complex emotions, such as compassion, envy, devotion, unconditional love, rejection… and passion,” Harry said, pulling his shirt back down and seating himself once more in the chair across from Severus.
                “I see,” Severus said, though truly he didn’t see at all. He wondered why Harry found that funny. Harry, however, just gave a crooked grin and downed the rest of his drink.
                “Luna must think you’re a very… complex person,” Harry said, and his expression sobered a bit, the look in his eyes softening. “But you are, aren’t you?” Severus felt distinctly uncomfortable at Harry’s remark.
                “I suppose,” He said uncertainly, finishing his drink as well, and Harry poured them both another, “But who isn’t once you get to know them?” Harry laughed good-naturedly at this.
                “Plenty of people,” Harry said, “Not to discount the general human emotions everyone feels, but truly, you have to admit that some people go out of their way to keep things simple. Others, like yourself I imagine, were either never given that option, or have accepted it as a natural part of life. Honestly, I thought that when all the madness was over, I could really have an uncomplicated life. Except then I realized that I was absolutely aimless, having lived entirely according to what was happening at the time and never acquiring the skill of foresight.” Here Harry paused and drank his whole glass in one go. “Which of course, lead to me learning my first big life lesson that wasn’t told me by anyone else: never take for granted that the consequences of your actions will not be permanent.”
                “Is that why you believe in chakras and energy flows and whatnot?” Severus asked, only a bit drunkenly, causing a smile to break through Harry’s serious expression. It was the only thing he could think of to say, but Harry’s response only mystified him further.
                “Something like that,” Harry muttered into his refilled glass, still smiling lopsidedly.
                Severus had to admit that Harry’s confession revealed a beautiful side of him previously unknown to Severus. When Harry was in school, Severus had always viewed him as blind to serious issues, but he realized he’d always known that everything about Harry’s life had been plagued by serious issues. Much like Severus’ own, he thought. Similarly, they had both been pawns in a vicious and cunning game, and Severus could see how a teenaged Harry, did not, could not, comprehend the full impact of his role in all of it, or the motives of the people leading his life. He wondered how many nights Harry had spent as he had spent his own, wrecking his house in a bitter rage, or crying resentful tears at the situations forced upon him, or resolving to do as well as he could under horrifying circumstances. It made him appreciate just how much a part Harry’s beliefs played in the person he’d become. He briefly considered the turns his life had taken, and the secrets he held close. Some part of him was resentful and yet grateful for the way everything had turned out. When he thought about it, the wonderful person sitting across from him was who he was due to all of the things he’d been through; just as Severus had to be somewhat grateful for everything his life had become because it led him here.
                “I understand,” Severus said, only just above a whisper, finally actually understanding what function Harry’s beliefs served him. “Truly, I didn’t mean to make light of your beliefs.”
                He glanced up and saw with surprise, a countenance full of knowing amusement and warmth.
                “No worries,” Harry said. “You may not think so, but I knew what you meant.”
                With that cryptic comment, Harry held his glass up to Severus and they downed the rest of their drinks, Harry pouring another.
***
                Severus sat in the kitchen, thoroughly sloshed, as Harry went to add the final ingredient to the potion and put a Stasis charm on it. He wondered who had officially been “drunk under the table”, but suspected that they were both tied for winner, judging by Harry’s stagger as he narrowly avoided hitting the doorjamb on his way out.
                When Harry reentered the kitchen, he informed Severus that all was well with the potion, and that he had helped Luna to bed. What he did not expect Harry to inform him of, though, was that Harry was not going to let him leave drunk.
                “Seriously, Severus, you shouldn’t Apparate drunk,” Harry insisted with a bit of a slur, “What if you get splinched? I’d never forgive myself.”
                “Harry, you haven’t even got a couch,” Severus said, thinking this point irrefutable. “And I’m not sleeping on the floor.”
                “Ugh, for fuck’s sake, you can sleep in my bed, it’s plenty big enough for two,” Harry persisted. “It’s three in the morning, and you’re wasted. You can’t seriously think I’m going to let you leave like this.”
                Severus glared, though it probably wasn’t very intimidating considering the state he was in.
                “I promise, I won’t even go on your side,” Harry pleaded. “Please, don’t go like this.” Severus found that the look in Harry’s eyes, inebriated though it was, was more than enough to convince him. His drunken mind berated him for wanting to give in because he knew how delightful waking up in Harry’s bed sounded, but he knew that Harry had a valid point. Severus truly didn’t feel like going anywhere at the moment anyway.
                “Fine,” Severus conceded, “But stay on your side.”
                Perhaps it was the alcohol, but Severus thought he saw a triumphant look on Harry’s face.
***
                Severus awoke in the early hours of the morning, and the first thing he was aware of was desperately needing the loo. The second was that Harry’s shirtless, pyjama-bottomed body was draped around him, most certainly not on his own side. Not wanting to destroy the sensation, but really needing to relieve himself, he detached Harry from himself and tread quietly to the bathroom.
                When he returned, Harry had turned away from Severus’ side. Severus, still being fairly drunk and not quite caring for the consequences in the morning, curled up behind Harry to spoon him. The last thing he noticed before falling back to sleep was Harry snuggling back towards him and pulling Severus’ arms tighter around him, and the glowing magic of Harry’s tattoos seeming to flood his mind with peacefulness.
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