Lunaticus Book One: Half Moon | By : JBankai89 Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Harry/Remus Views: 18455 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 3 |
Disclaimer: JK Rowling owns Harry Potter, I gain nothing from this but a way to pass the time. |
A/N: This chapter is nearly twice as long as my usual chapter length, because I had to merge two chapters together. As always, comments and concrit are lovely :)
Chapter 5 – Choices
Ginny had barely managed to stand before Remus's gaze had whipped from Harry to her, his teeth bared and his eyes wild. In his crouched position over Harry, he held onto him more tightly, shifting as though trying to shield him from Ginny. Harry felt his breath catch with panic as a low, feral growl escaped the man that clung to him. Ginny's eyes widened with fright and she took a tentative step back, her hands held up in a motion of surrender. “Remus,” Harry said in the most forceful tone he could muster, hoping to draw the older man's attention back to him. He cast Harry a brief glance, then refocused his attention on his perceived threat.
Swallowing his fear, Harry tried again, “Ginny's not going to do anything,” at the sound of her name, Harry's breath hitched as Remus's hold on him tightened. He forced himself to keep talking, as it seemed to be the only thing that was keeping him from attacking her outright. “She's—she's leaving,” he gave her a significant look, and as Remus's head spun to stare at him intently she nodded minutely, and hurried out the front door.
The moment Ginny disappeared from view, every muscle in Remus's body seemed to relax. The idea of being left alone with Remus in his current state made Harry's heart beat out his panic in a wild rhythm, and he could feel himself trembling with fright. Remus finally pulled back, his hands resting lightly on Harry's shoulders while he looked him over, his eyes taking in every inch of him with an intense look in his eyes that Harry didn't care to identify. He felt deeply unsettled by the expression, and Harry averted his gaze to the floor, feeling utterly unable to maintain some kind of eye contact with the man.
Remus's hand moved from his shoulder to lightly caress his cheek, and Harry jerked back in alarm, his gaze refocusing on Remus at once. The older man looked slightly startled by Harry's reaction, and for a moment his movements froze. Harry could still feel himself shaking, while Remus watched him with red-rimmed eyes, even his smallest movements not missed by the werewolf's keen sight. Very carefully, Harry slipped from Remus's hold and began to stand up, but almost at once Remus swept forward to embrace him again.
Startled, Harry stumbled a half-step backward and his heel skidded sharply against the damp floor. Before he was even consciously aware that he was falling, Remus had coiled an arm around his waist and caught him. The close proximity of their bodies filled Harry with fresh fear, and he wrenched himself out Remus's grip. For a moment, the man's arm had tensed as though he was reluctant to let him go, and with a look of genuine pain on his face his hold on him relaxed and Harry backed up into the wall next to the staircase. He breathed deeply as he tried to reign in his panic, and while Hermione had promised that Remus probably wouldn't sexually assault him, in that moment Harry wasn't entirely sure if he believed it; it was as though Remus had completely lost his will to his werewolf instincts.
“You're wet,” Remus's first words following Ginny's departure caught Harry off guard and he looked down to see the creased damp imprints from Remus's initial reaction of more or less tackling him. Without waiting for a response, he drew his wand and pointed it at Harry, the damp spots disappearing as a gentle warmth briefly enveloped his form. He repeated the charm on himself, though he never took his eyes off Harry. The look was just as intense, but up until that moment Harry had given little thought to what he saw in the look. He still saw intense desire, a carnal hunger that was still deeply unsettling to see directed at him from someone like Remus. Paired with it however was a strange look he was unaccustomed to seeing; as though Remus was seeing Harry through new eyes. The combination made Harry's nervousness even more pronounced, and he swallowed thickly in an attempt to steady himself, though it did little to help.
“I—thank you,” he spoke to his feet, uncertain what he could say to stall while he waited for Ginny to come back with Hermione. Though, now that he'd seen how Remus had been with just Ginny here, he wondered if bringing in another so-called 'uninvolved party' was such a good idea.
Remus's familiar placid smile crossed his face, and he reached out for Harry. Still emotionally raw from all that had happened, he instinctively flinched away from the touch as though he'd been burned. Remus's face fell a little and Harry grimaced, guilt layering over his panic. “Sorry,” he mumbled, looking away from him, “this—it's just really weird for me.”
Remus reached forward again, more slowly this time, and his hand closed over Harry's. With some difficulty, he forced himself to not lurch away from the contact; this wasn't Remus's fault, not really. “I know, Harry,” he replied gently, and gave him a gentle tug. “Come, let's sit and talk.”
Trembling from head to foot, he allowed himself to be led into the sitting room. Remus seemed to sense his nervousness and offered a weak smile, though Harry wasn't able to return it. The older man was trembling slightly, as though the simple act of not pouncing on Harry was somehow physically painful. Upon reaching the sofa, Remus sat down at one end, while Harry chose the opposite side. He should have known that this would not deter the werewolf, nor would he be able to take a hint in his current state, and he was there in an instant.
Remus slipped an arm around Harry's waist and pulled him close, sighing contentedly, as he perched his chin against Harry's shoulder. Harry could feel the tense coils of muscles relax and he sighed contentedly as though the close contact had relieved the werewolf of some sort of physical pain. His eyes fluttered shut, and he wrapped his other arm across Harry's front, locking his fingers together at his hip. Harry's discomfort and feeling of awkwardness intensified, but having Remus in a somewhat calmer state was at least reassurance that he wasn't likely to be attacked.
He and Remus sat in silence, with the older man holding him close much in the same way he used to hold onto Ginny. It wasn't uncomfortable exactly, but the strangeness of it all kept Harry from being able to relax. Though Remus had said talk, it seemed as though cop a feel was a better bet, given how the older man's hand had begun to run up and down his spine, clearly in what he seemed to think was a soothing gesture. The contact made Harry shiver, though if Remus noticed the reaction, he didn't speak on it.
“R-Remus,” Harry grimaced, cursing his stammer, “I-I just wanted to know, this...this claim thing...” His face flamed and he trailed off, staring blankly at the fire to avoid meeting the intense gaze he knew that he was being given. Harry wasn't sure what he wanted to ask, but the ongoing silence was making him even more nervous. What did Remus expect of him? How accurate were those books he'd read? Would he really try and hurt his friends if they got too touchy-feely for his liking? This was all too weird. It seemed as though Remus could sense what he wanted to ask, and the hand on Harry's stopped its delicate movements and instead moved back to his hip and squeezed tightly; possessively. The feeling left him with a feeling in his stomach as though he'd swallowed several large ice cubes.
“I know you did not mean for this to happen, Harry,” his tone was tense, though Harry couldn't tell if it was rooted in anger at him for causing all this, or Remus's base instinct trying to make him do more than just hold onto him. Harry swallowed again, and willed himself to keep still; Harry had a feeling that giving into his deep desire to bolt would not be a wise move. “But I cannot...” he trailed off, sighing heavily, jerking his head as though he was trying to get water out of his ears. “I can't bury these...these desires that this bond to you has awakened.” Remus's hand returned to caressing Harry's back, and he struggled to keep from shivering under the touch. Harry hated this on so many levels, but he also didn't want to make it harder on Remus. “I want you, Harry,” the words made Harry tremble and he felt almost sick with fear.
“W-What happens now?” Harry grimaced again at the tremor in his voice, but the awareness of what was happening, coupled with the older man's hands on him had utterly shattered any façade of bravery he may have wanted to project. Harry forced his gaze away from the fire and back to Remus, only to find that the older man had mirrored his movements. He was still taller than Harry was, though not by much. Harry's head barely had to tilt up to meet the man's gaze, and he could not deny that he was afraid to hear Remus's answer.
Luckily, or unluckily as the case may be, Harry was relieved from answering by the sounds of Ginny returning with Hermione in tow. Having a fairly good idea about what was likely to happen, he waited until Remus's hold on him slackened, and he vaulted himself over the sofa and ran to the front door before the werewolf had even stood up. Harry spread his arms wide, facing away from the door as Ginny and Hermione stepped inside, and he watched the possessive rage return in full measure and he tore towards the would-be intruders blindly. Any moment of clarity Remus had had was completely gone, and instinct took over.
It was as though he could not see Harry at all, with his gaze fixed on the two intruders at his potential's back. “Remus, don't you dare.” Harry struggled to keep his tone even and commanding, and his gaze flicked to Harry as he skidded to a halt. His red-rimmed, bloodshot gaze was wide with barely-controlled anger, the wolf in him clearly furious that Harry dare stand up to him like this. He did not move, his eyes fixed on the werewolf while ignoring the way both girls had frozen still at the threshold, watching the silent exchange. Ever so slowly, Remus seemed to come back to himself and he stepped back, but he watched the girls' every move with narrowed eyes.
Harry kept his eyes fixed resolutely forward, watching Remus carefully and blocking any chance he may have at attacking the pair outright. He would not let anyone else get hurt because of this, and while it was now clear that bringing in another had definitely been a bad move, it was a little late to back out on it now.
Hermione circled around to his side, while Ginny moved as though to touch him, but lurched to a stop at the last moment and seemed to think better of the action. Harry was relieved that she hadn't; there was no telling how Remus would have reacted to touch between Harry and his girlfriend. Slowly, he lowered his arms to his sides. “Remus, I asked for Hermione to come here, to clear the air between all of us, and fill in some blanks. She's not here for any other purpose.”
It seemed for a moment as though Remus did not believe him. His eyes were still narrowed, his jaw muscles worked feverishly as he worked through the blind rage and desperate need to protect, but finally his form relaxed, and he offered a small, stiff nod. Harry could see both girls relax slightly, but Harry was still on his guard. He'd rather be hyper-paranoid now, rather than not be and possibly regret it later. “Well, I'll make some tea, then?” Hermione's cheery tone was so painfully forced that Harry almost winced.
“Er—all right, go ahead Hermione.” She gave him a strange, conspiratorial smile and swept past everyone and headed for the kitchen. Uncertain what she was up to, he decided it would be best to move the others to back to the sitting room and see would he could do about defusing the situation.
With Ginny at his back, Harry shepherded the agitated werewolf back into the sitting room, just as Hermione returned with a floating tea tray. Harry returned to his spot on the sofa, but his stomach gave a funny sort of jolt as both Ginny and Remus went to sit next to him at the same time. In a move born of his budding Auror instincts, he threw an Impediment Jinx at Remus. This proved to be the right move, as the second the werewolf had realized what Ginny was about to do, he lurched forward as though to attack her. Alarmed, she backed off quickly and sat down heavily in one of the available armchairs, looking rather hurt.
“Remus,” Harry said, standing up and staring down the frozen werewolf, knowing full-well that he could hear him. “I need you to please calm down. No one is here to take—anything from you, nor are they here for anything more malicious than tea and biscuits. Sit.” By the time Harry had finished speaking the jinx had worn off, and Remus sat down heavily on the sofa. He did not appear fazed by the reprimand, but he still did not take his eyes off the two girls, as though he expected them to suddenly spring forward and attack. Harry sat down at the opposite end of the sofa, but he knew that this would do little to deter Remus, and wasn't surprised when he felt a strong, masculine arm pin Harry to his side.
Harry looked over to Ginny apologetically, and her expression had grown hard in a way that told Harry she was likely trying to keep her emotions in check. Despite her own feeling regarding the situation, she seemed to understand and nodded a little as Hermione pushed cups of tea on all of them. Harry accepted his gladly for something to do with his hands and to distract him from the arm around him. Remus accepted the cup reluctantly from Hermione, one hard look from Harry all but dared him to do anything else.
The quartet drank in tense silence, though Harry did not miss how Hermione's eyes were fixed almost constantly on Remus, who had moved his arm again in order to resume stroking Harry's back. Harry felt himself go very red at Remus's casual touch, feeling incredibly guilty about the man doing such a thing to him right in front of Ginny. He tried to convey his regret to her silently, but she refused to meet his gaze. Embarrassing as it was, he felt as though he was rooted to the spot, and he couldn't seem to form a word of protest to Remus's constant physical contact. Though if he had, Harry seriously doubted Remus would listen to him anyway.
“I think we should discuss what happens next,” Hermione said, her fear betraying her by the faintest quiver in her tone as she set down her empty teacup. Harry reached forward and grabbed a biscuit and began picking it apart, but not really eating it. He sucked the icing off his fingertips absentmindedly, but when he caught Remus watching the action with another intense stare, he quickly stopped.
“Remus?” Hermione's timid voice seemed to cut through the cloud lust fogging the man's brain, and he refocused his attention on Hermione. The hand on Harry's back shifted to his shoulder and squeezed tightly in a clear wolfish display that said to everyone present, Harry is mine. Harry bowed his head, his embarrassment radiating off him in waves.
“As I was saying Remus,” she continued timidly, while Harry felt the man's hand tense on his shoulder again, “we should discuss what happens next. I'm fairly certain what you need from Harry is well beyond him at the moment. Wouldn't you agree?” She means sex, Harry thought in a wild moment of panic, God, could this get any more embarrassing?
“I—I don't want to hurt Harry, I'm sure you all know that.” Remus's voice was halting, as though speaking to Hermione civilly was a great strain on him. “It's...difficult.” Remus's voice sounded strange, more nasally and groggy than his usual tone as he continued. “I—I cannot see anything, I cannot sense anything beyond Harry, and his...accidental claim to me.” He paused, and his hand slid down Harry's back, only to rest limply very near to his bum. Harry jerked forward with a start, but Remus did not seem to notice.
“I know, Remus,” Hermione said gently, as Harry chanced a glance up to see Ginny watching him, her expression jumping from betrayal to sympathy and back again. Looking at her gave Harry a strange sense of whiplash, and he refocused his gaze on the table. “But I need you to try and focus for a moment. You are scaring people who care about you, people who want to help.”
“I—I know, Hermione, I'm well aware of—” But whatever Remus was aware of was not made known as he suddenly slumped against Harry in a dead sleep. Harry pushed him off and he flopped down bonelessly onto the sofa, while Harry stared wide-eyed from Hermione to Ginny. They both looked rather pleased with themselves.
“What just happened?” Smirking a little, Hermione drew out an empty vial from the inside of her robes, the remnants of some sort of purple potion clinging to the inside. Harry recognized it at once as Dreamless Sleep.
“It'll wear off in an hour or so, we figured it'd be easier to talk without a werewolf clinging to you.” She drew out her wand and pointed it at Remus. “Mobilicorpus,” she muttered, and Remus's dead weight lifted a few inches off of the sofa.
“Upstairs,” Harry said when she looked to him for direction, “I had Regulus's old room converted into guest quarters.” She nodded once, and proceeded to conduct Remus's body out into the hall and up the stairs.
The moment Harry head Hermione's footsteps fade away, he looked to Ginny, and he felt his heart break a little. She had never been much of a crier, for which Harry had always been grateful, but now her eyes were glassy and she was smiling at him sadly. He stood, and in an instant his arms were full of her. He held Ginny close, inhaling the smell of of rainwater, of the musk of the Quidditch uniform she still wore, and of her. He clung to her more tightly, and she did not wait long to pull Harry in for a kiss. It was not gentle, but hungry and mournful, they both knowing that it was the beginning of the end—for both of them.
Harry drew out the kiss for as long as he could before Ginny pulled back, reluctance in her every movement. Her eyes met his, her mouth pressed into a thin line, “I know you have a choice to make,” she said, her voice remarkably steady, “and I know you're too damn noble for your own good to let Remus continue to suffer the way he has been suffering.” Her voice cracked a little at the end, and he leaned in to pressed his forehead into hers.
“Ginny, I don't want this. I want you.” Harry held her close, relishing the feel of her body moulded into his, and feeling the terrible anguish of what he was being asked to give up—again.
Harry stared down a her sadly, his fingers laced with hers, any hope he had for a future with her lost. He struggled to stay focused on the present instead of the lost future he may have had with her, and Harry forced his gaze back up to meet her eyes. “What happened? How did Remus get to you?” She sighed heavily, casting her gaze towards the crackling fire, her fingers tightening in his.
“I don't know. To be honest I thought he'd stay closer to here but...” She shrugged, guilt lining her face. “I had finished the tryout, I was getting ready to apparate...” Harry could feel a shiver run through her, though he couldn't tell if it was from cold or an emotional response. “I...He came out of nowhere, grabbed me at the last second.” Harry felt slightly sick as he turned his head from Ginny's pleading gaze and images from days long past filling his mind in seconds. The Ministry, Polyjuice Potion, the Locket...Yaxley...Ron, splinched—Harry shook his head several times, but the images did not immediately fade. “Harry?” Ginny's voice sounded very far away. “Harry, are you all right?”
Harry shook his head again, and slowly his mind returned to the present. “Fine—I, yeah, fine.” Ginny eyed him curiously, her eyes narrowing as he tried to force a reassuring smile. He shook his head, “what Remus did to you—it just brought back some bad memories, that's all.” Her gaze softened and she nodded, offering him another squeeze of his hand. This was part of what he loved about Ginny, the fact that she wouldn't interrogate him, she wouldn't insist that he share—she would wait patiently, and gave Harry the choice whether or not to share the harrowing memories of his year Horcrux hunting with her.
“It's not your fault,” Harry said at last after several minutes of tense silence. “That Remus found you, I mean.” Ginny looked away sadly, and Harry knew at once that she didn't believe it. “He's—he's a werewolf, heightened senses and all that. With this...claim thing, it's pretty obvious that they're more attuned to—to me.” Harry cringed at his stammer, “I dunno if you heard him, but...”
“—he could smell you on me, I know.” They both blushed a deep shade of scarlet, just as Hermione returned, her expression difficult to read, as she was quite obviously pleased that the plan had worked so well, but she clearly hadn't lost sight that problem had yet to be solved completely.
“Well,” she said as she strode across the room, “I hope I'm not interrupting something really personal,” she grinned, and Ginny rolled her eyes.
“Ron's beginning to rub off on you, I see.” Hermione smirked a little at her comment, but didn't verbally respond as she extricated a thick wad of parchment from inside her robes and tossed it onto the table between them. She sat down in the armchair opposite before she explained, “that's all the cross-checked information on this bond I could find, from reliable sources as well as a few bonded couples I could locate.” She grimaced a little at the last comment, but didn't elaborate. Harry stared at the parchment, held together not with twine, but a muggle bull-clip. It had to be at least as thick as Hogwarts, a History in Hermione's tiny, neat handwriting. Harry pulled it towards him, and flicked idly through the pages, staring at it in wonder.
“You did all of this in two days?” Ginny pressed her lips into a thin line at Harry's comment, clearly trying to keep from laughing, while Hermione rolled her eyes.
“Being a Trainee Unspeakable does have its privileges, you know.” She smirked, and this time Harry took his turn at an eye-roll. While he wanted to ask, he knew she couldn't—and wouldn't—explain. Harry began flipping through the notes again, but it all seemed to blur before his eyes as his panic set in again.
“What do we know, then?” Ginny filled in for Harry, and he turned to give her a grateful smile.
“Well,” Hermione leaned forward and plucked the novel of notes out of Harry's hands and flipped through it, “most of what we told you was fairly accurate, possessiveness, jealousy, et cetera. There's also a couple cases of the bond, well, not breaking, but of the werewolf blocking it. It's not really clear how they do it, but the results can be pretty nasty...”
Hermione stopped on a page with a print of what was clearly an emaciated human being, with several blocks of texts below it. “The humans in those situations...they just stopped. They stopped eating, stopped drinking fluids, stopped sleeping, and eventually they just die of dehydration and starvation. Nothing gets through to them apparently,” Hermione frowned, “it seems like whether the human knows it or not, they depend a lot more on the werewolf than they'll realize until something like that happens.”
Harry swallowed thickly as he tried to work through what she was telling him, but before he could even begin to process what he was being told, she steamrolled forward. “There's also some stuff about other phases of the moon...” She began to flick through the pages again, “...ah, here.” She stopped at a page about halfway through her notes, turned the whole thing round, and pushed it across the table so Harry could see.
Stuck to a piece of parchment with a sticking charm was a white piece of muggle paper, with a slightly hazy picture of the various phases of the moon, followed by blocks of detailed notes. At first, he wasn't certain what he was seeing, then he shifted his gaze up to her.
“Did you seriously photocopy a magical text?” Hermione went very red.
“I was in a rush, and that's not the point, Harry! Would you just shut up and read what it says?” Snickering, he refocused his attention on her notes, while he tuned out the sound of Hermione explaining the term photocopy to Ginny.
Phases of the Moon and Their Effects on Human-Werewolf Bonds
Dark of the Moon/New Moon: Time of Rest. Bond will not be as strong, nor will the pull be as insistent. Claimed Werewolf will be more coherent, and possibly less domineering—sources unclear. Sources state varying levels of independency during this phase, some bonded werewolves feel more clear-headed and desire time away from their mate, though generally never more than a couple of hours at most. Status of the Bond also a factor. Potential who has not reciprocated will likely be subject to their claimed werewolf needing to be physically close to them, rather than distant.
Waxing Moon: Time of Fertility. Heightened arousal, more intense desire for physical closeness; unlike the New Moon phase, the claimed werewolf will desire sexual stimulation. No cases of sexual assault or rape—but with a potential who has yet to accept their mate, the reactions of the werewolf are unclear. Possessiveness and jealousy heightened, any strange smells the claimed werewolf does not associate with themselves can cause dangerous reactions: Cases of the werewolf seeking out the individual who touched their mate. Very few deaths, but many cases of violent assault. Waxing moon will affect Homosexual Bonds in the same way as Heterosexual ones, with the exception of the desire to breed.
Half Moon: Time of Claim. Following the claim, this phase may incite more pronounced feelings of dominance in the werewolf; in particular a desire to re-stake the claim upon their potential. This can take many forms, though the most frequent is of a sexual nature. Following moonrise the werewolf may feel the need to dominate their potential, most commonly with a sex act. To Reiterate: No cases of sexual assault or rape have ever been reported. The nature of the dominating act(s) will vary depending on the werewolf in question, as well as the status of the bond.
Full Moon: Time of Change. One of the few phases where the potential may feel the bond's effects. Many cases of reluctant partners succumbing to the [sexual] needs of their werewolf during daylight hours preceding moonrise. Following the change, werewolf needs to be in the presence of their mate. Even without wolfsbane they will not attack their potential. The bonding magic paired with the desire to protect will eclipse any violent natures the werewolf may be privy to. Very dangerous for outsiders.
Waning Moon: Time of Destruction. Emotional needs of the werewolf more pronounced. Will desire emotional closeness with their mate. This often takes the form of the werewolf requiring reassurance of their potential's feelings towards them. At this time, the werewolf is often more sensitive than usual and this may result in exaggerated reactions to words and actions often brushed off during the other phases of the Moon. Emotional exhaustion often follows, with the werewolf sleeping longer than usual, (12h-16h) and will desire the physical closeness of their mate, though not necessarily sexually. Weakened state will incite vivid dreams and nightmares. The physical contact paired with the magic of the bond will calm the werewolf's mind and ease their subconscious.
As the Bond settles and becomes more ingrained in the lives of involved parties, it will become less all-encompassing and they will be able to return to their normal lives. Some allowances must be made for certain phases, however.
Harry set down the notes, feeling rather sick. He pushed them across the table, then buried his face in his hands. Harry felt completely and utterly exhausted—physically as well as emotionally, and his thoughts of the injustice of it all returned in full measure. I defeated Voldemort, he thought miserably, I literally died for the cause. I did everything that was asked of me. Why can't the Fates just let me have a life that's actually mine? A hand rested on his shoulder, and he shivered. Harry knew it was Ginny, but the reminder that she would soon have to be cast from his life filled him with the all-too-familiar feeling of grief. How could he do this, really? The prospect of what was expected of him for the sake of Remus's life and sanity were no more appealing than they had been when he had first discovered what his crass mistake had cost him. When he did not respond, Ginny slowly retracted her hand.
“Harry,” Hermione's voice cut through his self-pity, and he looked up at her reluctantly. She gave him a hard look, and he swallowed thickly as he stared back.
“What?”
“I know this isn't...er...an ideal situation—”
“—Understatement of the year,” Harry muttered, cutting her off. Hermione glared at him, and it was dangerous enough that he snapped his mouth shut and allowed her to continue.
“You need to make a decision Harry,” she said firmly, leaving no room for Harry to protest. “Now that Remus has broken the Fidelius Charm, he won't be going anywhere. When he wakes, I don't know what he'll be like, but I think it might be best if...uninvolved parties are elsewhere.” She cast a meaningful glance towards Ginny, then continued, “I won't tell you what to do, that's between you and Remus. But you will need to make a decision, and soon.” Without another word, Hermione stood and circled around the coffee table. She paused briefly to give Harry's shoulder a reassuring squeeze, and swept out of the room. Harry distantly heard the front door open and close, followed by the muffled crack of her disapparating.
Harry pulled his legs up on the sofa, knees bent, and he promptly buried his face in the top of his thighs with a groan. He heard Ginny huff impatiently, and made short work of pushing his legs off the cushions and forced Harry to meet her gaze. “Harry, stop stalling,” she acted as though she wanted to glare at him, but it seemed as though she didn't have it in her to do so. “You know the facts. Hermione practically wrote you a novel on the subject, for heaven's sake. Choose Remus, and he'll live. Choose me, and he descends into madness, or tears me apart—whichever comes first.” She smiled sadly, “but Harry, I know you. I know you well enough to know that this...” she waved her arm significantly between them, “is over. You'd never let someone hurt if you had it in you to save them.”
Harry drew her into a tight hug. His eyes stung, and he buried his face in the crook of her neck, wishing he didn't have to let her go. It just wasn't fair.
His head lifted and his mouth found hers. Harry cradled the back of her head gently, and he could feel Ginny's tears against his own cheek. She inched closer, clinging to him as tightly as he clung to her. All too soon, the kiss broke. “I'm sorry,” he murmured weakly, his voice very close to breaking as he reached up to brush a solitary tear track from her cheek with his thumb.
“I know,” Ginny kissed him one last time, drawing it out as long as she could. She stood and Harry followed suit, holding hands until they reached the door. Harry felt a great weight settle on him as he watched her sadly.
“I—I'll give you time, but if, er, when this thing is settled, I hope we can be friends.” Ginny smiled sadly, and squeezed his hand.
“I'd like that, Harry. I was your friend before, I will be after. But I will need some time.”
“I know,” he said quickly, not ignorant to how hard this must be for her. The words I love you were on the tip of Harry's tongue, and it took a great effort to keep himself from vocalizing them. It seemed too cruel to say that to her now.
With one last bone-crushing hug, Ginny reluctantly untangled herself from Harry and slipped out the door, and with a crack she was gone.
Harry stared at the door for several long moments, wondering if she'd abandon her resolve and come back. With a heavy sigh, he turned and ascended the stairs.
A/N: I was really, really nervous about posting this chapter, mostly because I was worried you guys would find it somewhat anticlimactic. I really hope it lives up to your expectations!
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