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Journey to Somewhere	By : Sealpotter Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male Views: 7081 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any of the characters associated with the books/movies and I never have and never will make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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A/N - Inspired by "The End Where I Begin" by The Script. Again I remind you this is AU... Major issues I will address in the A/N's of the chapters
DJaddict - Thanks... what were you imagining... The story took a strange turn yesterday. It gets really dark, but I hope the relationships make up for some of it. (the entire story's meat is written it's just filling in somethings that is needed now. Spent all night finishing up. 18 chapters to include Epilouge.)
CDGaymer - Draco is not that super important to the plot, but he is mentioned. You will just have to read on about Dumbles... this story is NOT NICE to him...
The End Where I Begin.
Harry tried as much as possible to be normal in the school. He was distant from his so-called friends as would be expected after his ‘ordeal’ as the old Headmaster put it. The headmaster was none the wiser, trying to be cryptic about things to come for Harry. Harry got the feeling the man had more plans. He was being maneuvered like a pawn in a chess game. Harry was not happy to return to the Dursley’s but he had little choice at this time. He was still underage and unable to do magic and no firm plan was in place. But he had a secret weapon. Severus Snape.

As part of the Order he could do spot checks on Harry, under the guise of questions raised by the Weasleys. The old man relented. Those were the days Harry would cherish the most. Severus brought a portable floo. This allowed Harry to floo to the Malfoy Manor where Voldemort took residence. The first time, the Dursleys were away for a week.

Harry was surprised the first time he entered the Manor. He was welcomed warmly by Narcissa and Draco. His own reception of Lucius was still wary. The man, like his son, had gotten under his skin and it pricked his stubbornness into action many times in their encounters. Though Harry tried, part of him was brittle on the inside after so many years of lies and false impressions.

Harry and Draco found an easier balance because the younger blond was finally civil. It warmed Harry to know that Draco had always wanted a brother. Talking was easier without all the old tensions between them anymore. Theirs was an easy new beginning compared to the others that Harry had to deal with. Scars still remained with Lucius, but Harry would try. They could all work with the mistakes of the past and move on to a new future.

Harry ate dinner with the entire family that first day. Lucius sat at the head of the table with Narcissa on his left and Severus on his right. Draco sat in the middle and Harry at the foot next to Voldemort. It was here that Harry felt he really started to live, here that he understood some part of what he needed to do. This family was broken because of one man. Ghosts lingered for just about everyone in this room. He knew he needed to do something, but he wasn’t sure what that would be. He wanted to release the pain for each of them, and for himself. It was as if that pain were being bottled up inside him and it wanted release. As he ate in the peaceful silence he found part of his magic was tapping inside him begging for release. Harry stood abruptly.

“Excuse me.” Harry said to the group before he left and went down the hall to the loo.

Harry closed the door and stared at himself in the mirror. He felt choked by something binding him from the inside. His eyes seemed to go on forever. He knew those eyes meant nothing. The green was not his own, nothing about him was his own.

Here at the end of the lies, he wanted to see himself… truly see himself. He crashed his fist into the mirror as he screamed his own frustration. The shards fell and littered the sink and he took one piece and started cutting shallow cuts along his face. The small amount of blood was not enough. He drew lines on his arms with the glass trying to let the power out that he could feel bubbling at the surface. The blood welled up and splashed over the white marble counter tops. Harry reached for it and smeared it over his face and hands, even pushing streaks of it into his hair. In blood he would cleanse the iniquity of the ghost that made him.

A flash in the mirror shards drew his attention and as he looked at his blood soaked face, something inside him snapped again and a vision was released, washing over him. The sight before him morphed from a blood soaked man, to a pale face with sky blue eyes and straight jet black hair. He saw himself for the first time… He was real, past the facade of the green-eyed mask. His tears mixed with the blood running down his face as he crumpled to the floor and gave into the darkness that took him.

Everyone stood when they heard Harry’s scream and Voldemort was the first to make it to the door of the loo. He nearly stumbled over himself as he took in the sight of Harry lying on the floor covered in blood. It wasn’t a pool of blood, but the slashes were enough to concern him. Several healing spells, to include his own were being cast to seal the cuts. Voldemort reached and picked Harry up, cradling the smaller form and turning towards the others. Inside, he was soothed with impressions, Harry needed this, whatever it was.

“He just needs rest. He released another of the bindings on his magic. Show me to a room.” Voldemort stated.

The worried looks were still on every face in the crowd. Narcissa gathered herself first and moved quickly to show Voldemort a room that they could use. Harry was laid in the middle of a rather large bed. Before cleaning up the the blood, he focused on the patterns on Harry’s face and hands. They were unusual.

“Severus, do you recognize the patterns of blood on Harry’s hands and face?” Voldemort asked.

“I do,” Draco replied, “They are runes… We just passed over a chapter on these, I read through it though, because I did not know we were skipping it.”

They all looked at Draco in that moment.

”Truth,” Draco pointed to the rune on Harry’s face, “End” he pointed to the left hand, “and Life” he pointed to the right hand rune.

Voldemort nodded then cleaned the cuts and sent a skin restoration charm, so Harry did not have to worry about permanent scars.

“Why was it skipped over?” Voldemort asked

“I don’t know, the teacher just said it wasn’t part of the curriculum due to the Headmaster deeming it unnecessary.” Draco stated.

“We will examine it much closer.” Voldemort instructed.

Later that afternoon, Lucius looked in on Harry and saw that he was awake. He was about to leave to get the others.

“Stay.” Harry all but whispered.

Lucius turned back to Harry.

Harry reached out his hand and waited for the other man to take it. Once Lucius took the offered hand and sat down next to the bed, Harry sat up a bit.

Lucius was trying to hold back, but he decided to let his emotions show, instead of the stoic mask that he put on everyday. He wanted Harry to trust him. He wanted Harry to know him and he wanted to know and understand the boy in front of him… His blood ran in those veins and he treasured family. Especially knowing that Harry was a product of the love he and Severus shared. Harry was a part of them. However that became possible, he didn’t care. Looking at Harry, he could catch glimpses… as if Harry’s face flickered from one appearance to another. A flash of sky blue eyes made him gasp. Another flash and some features changed that were clearly that of his lover, the shape of the lips…

Harry reached out and wiped away a stray tear that was flowing down the man’s face.

“Can you see it?” Harry whispered.
“Yes.. flashes, but yes.” Lucius whispered back in awe.
“Soon, very soon I can leave this facade behind.” Harry mused. “We all will.”

“The scars of our past may never fade, Harry. But I would like to try to start over and build something more.” Lucius looked sincere.

“I trust you, because my magic tells me where your loyalties lie. My heart is barricaded from so much over the years. I will try, but please don’t expect an overnight sensation.” Harry replied honestly.

He wanted to get to a place where he could trust and love, to erase the years of damage. But it was that pain that pushed him now. It was that anger that fed the flames of his power. It was also the determination inside him that prodded him further. He still did not know what he was, or what his purpose was. But he knew he needed something to change.

“I need your help. I will go back once the Dursley’s are home, but I will leave soon after for the Order’s hiding place. Once I have entered, I need to know how to open the floo. Right now the Order is the only contender for any resistance we have. The ministry is unaware, I would like to keep them that way for now. I know Voldemort had many other followers, and many are still in prison. My so-called godfather mentioned a few. But I need to know if they would be helpful. I have heard that the prison can drive one mad. I don’t need mad, that can make things more difficult.” Harry explained

Lucius looked at the boy, he had never really seen him until now. How had he missed the essence of Harry entirely. He had never seen the darkness inside Harry until now, but there was much more than the darkness he had seen even in himself or Voldemort. It was the more that had him nodding his willingness to work with Harry.

“I will teach you the two charms needed.” Lucius assented, “and look into who is viable from Azkaban.”

The door opened and Voldemort stood in the doorway, his old face gone, and the one Harry had come to look forward too was there.

“Can I speak to you alone?” Voldemort asked.

Harry heard, but he was too busy watching those soft red lips mouth the words instead of looking up to dark eyes.

Harry nodded and Lucius got up and quietly left. Harry watched the older man as he smoothly made his way to the bed. Harry wished the man did not wear a cloak, and as he concentrated on that thought, Voldemort stopped mid step as his cloak vanished. Harry smiled then, the stark white shirt was form fitted to a toned body, tucked tightly into the slim waist of black trousers.
“Harry?” Voldemort had reached the bed and sat gently next to Harry.

“Hmmm…” Harry hummed as he scooted closer and nuzzled under one of Voldemort’s arms. He pressed his head to the crevice of chest that seemed to call to him. Completely enveloped in strong arms, soothed by the steady beat of a heart, he sighed contentedly.

Voldemort’s heart clenched at Harry’s actions, he still did not fully understand what they were or what Harry needed, but he was beginning to feel more than the physical flutters. He felt a driving need to comfort and protect.

“Do you know what happened in the bathroom?” Voldemort asked Harry quietly.

Harry squirmed as if he couldn’t quite get comfortable, “Sit back against the bed.”

Voldemort let Harry go and complied and waited. Harry scooted closer and repositioned himself, more laying and pressing up against the older man and when he let his arms encircle Harry, the younger man moved only minutely before muttering “Perfect.”

“I felt a need to let loose, it was pure instinct I guess. I saw flashes of my true form.” Harry whispered, “I felt more magic break free. It was bound like you said. I don’t think it’s all free yet, but I feel like it’s getting ready. I am scared.”

Voldemort looked down at Harry, the sincerity of the gaze struck him hard. “Whatever it is, I will help you through it. We went through the memories many times and have found a few things. When you're ready, we can talk about them.”

“Not tonight.” Harry murmured.

“Of course.” Voldemort whispered back, letting a hand stroke Harry’s hair.

“Stay?” Harry asked quietly.

“Done.” Voldemort whispered back against Harry’s hair.

Severus had gone in search of the Dark Lord, only to find him with Harry.

Dark eyes dared Severus to say something, but he did not. He watched as Harry slumbered peacefully, one arm wrapped around Voldemort’s waist and head pillowed on Voldemort’s chest. The whole scene was peaceful. Severus smiled at that, for once his son would have some peace. He met the Dark Lord’s eyes watching him speculatively. He inclined his head and walked away.

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Journey to Somewhere