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Torment Completed	By : Kvarta Category: Harry Potter > Het - Male/Female > Snape/Hermione Views: 31717 -:- Recommendations : 3 -:- Currently Reading : 8
Disclaimer: This is a work of fan fiction. Harry Potter is owned by J.K. Rowling. This story is purely for entertainment purposes, no money is being made from it.

Chapter List
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A/N: Big thank you for my beta - Loki God of Evil
@ Mistress: "you're breaking my heart, girl. But I absolutely love it. " - I'm sorry and I am glad that you like it. Sadly, I can't promise that things will turn for the better for some time, there is still quite a bit of his life left for him to revisit. Maybe not all of it will that bad.
Holding her wand firmly, she was pointing it at that monster again. Why did Harry keep on bringing him here? She couldn't stand to be in the same room with that bigot. And yet she stayed. Even if Harry always called her out.
The thing is, Harry was never around for the visits, he always left, choosing not to remain for some unknown reason to her. And Hermione, she was too afraid to leave the room.
Then there was the bigot. The first few times she'd observed him, Malfoy was quiet. He would stand and watch the situation, observing his friend. Seeing if she would count his intended insults. Right now, however, he was purposefully ignoring her.
She noticed that each time he'd visited, Malfoy seemed more and more haggard in appearance. His clothes were pristine though and his hair, clean and well kept, but he looked like he was falling apart at the seams. He sat on the edge of the bed, shaking his head. His hand reached and she stood up reflexively, in anticipation of something happening.
"Don't you dare…" she threatened through clenched teeth.
He ignored her, reaching out and wiping tears from Snape's cheeks. An almost gentleness to it, that Hermione had rarely seen from him.
"Is this happening a lot?" he asked and she was confused by that. There was a sadness in his voice, a genuine care for her professor that she was sharing unknowingly.
"What is it to you? You want to gloat?"
"You insolent little shit," He hissed, turning his pale eyes to her, cold and tortured, angry. "This man saved my son's life. Whatever else he did, that sole fact is enough for me to wish for his well-being."
She fell silent for a moment, unable form any words to the insult but also to his sentiment.
"Now then," he started again. "Is he doing this often?" His words cut like a knife.
"Sometimes." She offered reluctantly.
His eyes were sad again, he directed them to her professor. "My friend, how much life had hurt us both. Hang on, persevere. Just persevere, and I will see to everything else." He stood up, heavily, unsteadily, and walked away without even a glance in her direction.
Obscurity, oh, how small, how insignificant it made her feel.
~ S ~ S ~ S ~
Why would Slughorn want to talk to him?
In fact, why did he talk to the Muggle police? Because now he wants to talk to him?
He climbed the stairs to Headmasters office. Why did they have to talk to him there?
He pushed the heavy door open and he saw Dumbledore, sitting behind the huge desk as usual. Slughorn looked happy as always, covering it well with a straight face. That man was a brilliant potion maker but he was also truly repulsive every other way. And Snape needed his good will so he was willing to put up with it.
"Mr Snape, thank you for joining us." Dumbledore offered him a chair, motioning him to sit. "Please, sit down."
He sat on the edge of the large upholstered chair with a polite nod. The man didn't like him, not one bit. His blue eyes were cold and unforgiving. "I wished the circumstances were, different, for your summons to my office today."
Snape frowned in response to that. "I didn't do anything wrong." It just burst out of him. Snape knew that he wasn't very good at occlumency as he'd wished to be.
"No, you did not, Mr Snape, that is not why we called you here," he was quiet, waiting for Snape to pay notice. "Horace, if you will…"
Horace Slughorn took on a softer repose. His face was actually exuding real sympathy. "My boy, I am sorry to bring this news to you." He sighed, taking a deep breath. "You see, there was an accident in your home…" he stopped, unable to continue or maybe he didn't know how to.
"He killed her?" He asked, with a tone that was flat and dry, almost emotionless and he'd surprised himself with it.
"They're not really sure. The bodies were found at the bottom of the stairs. They say it was an unfortunate accident. I am so sorry, my boy, neither of them survived."
Nothing.
He'd nodded in acceptance of this news. Nothing, he felt nothing. No sadness. No pain. Nothing. Suddenly he felt so hollow inside.
"Should I claim her body? M-make the arrangements?" He asked, voice monotonous.
"No, my boy." He shook his head softly. "Her body was claimed already. Your uncle has taken care of it, and he will be burying her at the family tomb."
His shoulders relaxed, that was all that mattered to him.
"You will be granted leave to attend the funeral, of course."
"That is not necessary," Snape replied. "Thank you Professor Slughorn, but it is the end of the year and I have to focus on my O.W.L.s." he replied.
Empty, he felt utterly empty. He was just about to ask if he could be excused. "If that is all?"
Slughorn was genuinely confused by the pupils' behaviour pertaining to his deceased parents. "Your father's body is still unclaimed?"
It was a question and Snape didn't care. "That is not my concern. Am I free to go?"
Flabberghasted at that unexpected statement. Slughorn nodded, quickly. "Yes, of course." He mumbled, confused.
"Headmaster, Professor," He said, excusing himself as he bowed in their presence. Then, he turned on his heels and left the office without uttering another word.
Later that night, in his bed, he lay awake and waited. Nothing. He was still empty.
Darkness. He welcomed it. This wasn't the memory he'd wanted to revisit, not once in his life because it still hurt. It truly hurt because he'd failed. Failed to protect her.
If this was his hell, he hoped that his father's hell was worse, much worse. For him this was unbearable. He had no choice like he had none, his entire life, up to this point.
The moment was ultimately humiliating. Like it hadn't been enough they'd rounded up on him when he wasn't paying attention. Like it wasn't enough that he was foaming like a dog with rabies. He was actually gagging at the taste of suds. And typically, she had to be there, didn't she, bloody defending him!
Sardonic laughter, everyone was laughing at his expense.
Anger! He felt it, bubbling under the surface. Probably the first thing he'd felt since that day in the Headmaster's office.
He wasn't down and out. Snape had managed to fight off some of the jinx effects cast his way by reaching for his wand. Nothing mattered anymore but this, revenge. So, he sent a slicing hex at James. Too bad, he thought. The hex had only caught his cheek and not his neck. His pulse was booming in his ears, adrenaline and his eyes were burning from the tears he was suppressing. He'd let his guard down because there were too man and the next thing he knew; he was hanging upside-down.
The ultimate humiliation. Not that he would expect anything less from those complete mongrels. They were all traitors. And what was worse, she was still defending him, that hurt more than the laughter did. It hurt more than anything. Hitting the ground hard, Snape swallowed a painful groan. Straightening himself out, he managed to get his robes under control and raised the wand to deflect. But he was hit with another curse.
And Lily was still defending him. Laughter rang from the circle that formed around them. He could've defended himself surely?! Did he really need her to join in on his humiliation? He could hear it still, James was taunting him, using her to mock.
Blood boiled! He saw red.
"I don't need help from filthy little Mudbloods like her! [1] " he spat, looking angrily at James and he froze at his own uttered words.
What had he done?
James was saying something. She was hissing in his and James's direction.
Snape was petrified. Honestly, what had he done, had he gone too far? She was leaving, not glancing at him, not even the once.
In no time at all, he was hanging upside-down again, but it didn't matter now. Nothing mattered anymore. Not when his underwear went off, flying in the lake. Not even when he was launched in the very same lake. The laughter didn't matter. Snape was frozen once again and inside he was petrified like a piece of wood or someone who had caught the glare of a basilisk through a mirror.
What had he done? The water hit him hard and he sank down into it. He felt like a rock, sinking deeper before snapping out of his depressing reverie. He had stuck his head out of the cold water and gasped for air. At that moment, as the cool air hit his face, the tears ran free. The laughter surrounding him had been amplified like someone had cast a wide-range Sonorus on the grounds. It was humiliating to say the least, enraging in fact.
It mattered to him and then it didn't matter. What had he done?
No, no, no! He didn't want to remember that either. The day he lost her. Not that memory. It tormented him, daily, all his life! He surely didn't want to relive it! Not ever again.
Stop! Stop it! Please! Let me rest! Let me be dead, obliviated! Don't let me hear her cruel words! I know I deserved them. I deserved everything that came after that! Nooo! I served my time! I lived my life for her brat and I did all that was asked of me, in her name, in memory of her.
Please! I don't want to remember that anymore! Forgive me, Lily!
He entered into the gloomy house. It was eerie.
The house was cold and dank, dark as it ever was, and quiet so very quiet. White markings were still at the bottom of stairs, a muggle crime scene of course. He sighed at that and vanished them. He didn't want to connect this house to the floo network.
Alone. He was so alone!
No one, he had no one anymore. His mother had passed away and Lily, he was dead to her anyway, it was one and the same. So why was he still alive. Alive and empty? He turned around the living room like he was looking for something. And then it hit him. Grieving pain! He'd lost his mother… He couldn't breathe! The room, it was spinning around him, faster and faster.
Alone! Abandoned! Alone!
Once again, he was on the floor, sobbing. "No!!!!!" Desperate wails erupt from his constricted lungs. And through his grief, his cries remained unheard.
The pain. It hurt him like nothing had hurt him thus far. He had no mother. No Lily anymore. Nothing and no one. He was so completely alone!
Why? Why that moment. Darkness mocked him. A soft voice was calling but he knew it was a trap. The moment he followed it would turn to laughter. Honestly, was there anything after death? Anything he could do to stop this torture from repeating? Would he ever be forgiven? Or just left to float in this darkness for all eternity.
Alone. He can't take it anymore.
~ S ~ S ~ S ~
The word, first word since they brought him here. Not a scream, but a word. She would be happy, ecstatic…except… the word was "No."
His voice, so harsh and rough, barely above a whisper, and yet he looked like he was screaming. His face, contorted in pain. His lips were quivering and his cheeks were wet from the tears that wouldn't stop.
"Professor, professor?" She urged, wiping them as they fell. "It's only a nightmare." Her face was wet too. "Please, professor, wake up."
Poppy told her this might happen. She just had to let him be, to watch over him and notify her of any changes. But how could she just watch? He was in obvious pain and surely he'd cause harm to himself.
If she could make him wake up.
The thing is, Hermione knew that if he woke, he would start eating and hopefully the nightmares would cease to plague him every hour of every day. Besides, it was the war, and everybody had bad dreams at some point, but they woke up. Even she did. He didn't though, even now.
"Please, please…Severus!" she glided from the chair to the ground and then she realised. Her hand flew to her mouth, clasping her lips shut tightly. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, professor."
Why? Why did she call him by his name? He was going to kill her when he woke up! But he'd calmed down somewhat. Maybe, if he got mad at her, then perhaps he would wake up? Would he wake to bellow at her or to call her names? She sat back on the chair and pondered that while wiping her cheeks with the back of her hand.
Taking one shuddering breath. She clutched one of his hands in hers. "Please, wake up….S…Severus."
No response. He was quiet again. His tears had stopped running and he was barely breathing again, falling back in to that state of uncertainty. She sighed, leaning her forehead on her hand, the very same that was holding his.
Tired, so tired.
[1] Harry Potter and The Order of Pheonix, JKR, page 598
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Torment *Completed*

Torment Completed