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ONE LIFE TO LIVE	By : Mistress Category: Harry Potter > Het - Male/Female > Snape/Hermione Views: 9831 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 2
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or any of the characters. Nor do I make any money off of writing in here.

Chapter List
- 4
- 5
- 6
Black Rose: I’ve never liked Sirius myself. None of the marauders, actually. Severus has always been my favorite character, obviously and I just hate the treatment they gave him when they were kids. No one should be bullied that much, so for me it’s a bit personal. Anyway, I’ll stop destructing you from reading the chapter. Hope you like it.

                                                                          CHAPTER FIVE
                                                                               SEVERUS
We arrive at my old house in Spinners End. I hate this place with every fiber of my soul, but for now it is the safest place to be. For all of us. Two bedrooms are on the second floor and we place Lucius and the girl in different ones. Wouldn’t want to scare her more than she will be, when she wakes up.
Draco looks like he’s about to collapse at any moment. I don’t look much better. The effects of the potion Lucius took earlier, wore off long time ago. My wounds are open and bleeding, but I don’t have the time to think about it. I cover the girl with a blanket and go to the other room to check on Draco. He sits on the bed by Lucius and holds his hand, as if this connection is the only thing that’s keeping them both alive.
That’s more than I can ask of him for now, so I leave the room and go to my lab. My head feels heavy and everything starts spinning in front of my eyes. I hold to the rail on the stairs, trying not to give in and hold on to what’s left of my senses. Somehow I will myself to keep going. I have to find the right potion and give it to Lucius, or he dies.
Thank Gods my lab is neat and I don’t have to look for things I need for too long. I grab blood replenishing potion for myself, elixir of life, calming drought, dreamless sleep, cure for poisons and some other stuff I can think of. Taking all of them at once, would probably put me out of my misery forever. I have to be careful of what I take and what I give Lucius.
I take a cure for poisons and immediately start feeling its affect. Blood replenishing potion makes my head stop spinning. My vision clears and that helps me go back, with potions for Lucius and Draco.
Once in the room I pour the elixir into Lucius’ mouth while Draco holds his head up, to make sure he swallows the liquid. His skin color doesn’t seem so pale now and that’s a good sign. The only thing we need to do now is wait.
I give Draco some calming drought and dreamless sleep. He needs his rest. He refuses, but I insist. He doesn’t have the energy to fight and gives in. Potion starts working right away and I watch him close his beautiful blue eyes, as he curls up next to his father.
I walk to the other side of the bed, sit and squeeze my brother’s hand with my own – “Don’t you think of dying on me. You hear me, you bastard? Don’t you even fucking think of dying. Not now. Not after all we’ve been through.”
Gods, I still remember that summer when it all changed. It was after he saved my arse from James and his friends. It was only my second week at home and I couldn’t stand being there. My father’s drinking and bad temper made mom cry a lot. It drove me crazy, but she seemed to always find an excuse for his behavior. I couldn’t understand it. I tried to talk to her, but she told me that it was none of my business.
Professor Mcgonagall allowed me to take some books from school. Potions, charms, transfiguration. Thanks to them, I was able to practice my magic, even though it wasn’t exactly allowed. One of the spells I perfected was for sound isolation. I couldn’t bear to hear their arguing anymore. Until one evening, when the sounds that were going from their room were so loud that even the spell couldn’t block them completely.
I heard my mother’s scream and ran out of my room. I opened the door to their bedroom and saw her pinned under him. The room smelled of cheap alcohol. Her face was swollen from beating. She tried to get him off, but he was too heavy. With his pants down, he was on top of her, trying to force her to spread her legs.
Without much thinking I pulled out my wand and yelled “Expeliarmus.” Spell hit him hard and threw him out of the room. He tried to get up, but I was mad and scared that he’ll hurt her again. I pointed my wand at him. He was standing at the top of the stairs, glaring at me.
- “You freak. I’ll show you how to use that shite in my house.” With a smirk, he started pulling out his belt and took a step closer, but was too unstable to walk. He lost his balance and fell down the stairs. By the time, he reached the last stair, he was already dead. Next thing I saw, was my mother rushing down to help him. I couldn’t understand it. I thought that now that he’s dead, we’ll finally be able to be a family.
I remember the look on her face when she realized that he was dead. – “You killed him, Severus.”
- “He was hurting you and he was going to hurt you even more. Don’t you see? We’re free now. He won’t be able to hurt us ever again.”
- “It’s your fault he’s dead. I should have never had you in the first place.”
Those words hurt. – “Don’t worry, you’ll never get to see me again” I yelled. I gathered my books and left, never to step a foot in this house again. The only place I could think of to run to, was Hogwarts. I found Minerva and told her everything that happened. I spend that night in her room, crying. She kept hugging me and saying that it was gonna be ok and I don’t have anything to fear anymore. At that time, she was more than my professor. She was someone I needed the most. She was my mother.
Later I learned that she asked Albus to handle this situation, without raising too many questions. She said that he owned her at least that. I didn’t understand those words at the time, but everything was handled properly. No one came after me.
As good as it felt to stay with her, I couldn’t let her spend all her time on me. Not that she didn’t offer, but the experience I had, made me look at things with a different perspective. I sent an owl to Lucius and asked him to meet me. He came as soon as he received it. I told him what happened. After all, he saved my life. He deserved to know the truth. He offered me to stay with him at the mansion. I didn’t think that his father was going to approve, but he said that he’ll talk to him.
Meeting Abraxas for the first time was horrifying. I’ve never met anyone as intimidating as him.
- “Who is this and what is he doing in my house, Lucius?” he asked, eyeing my muggle jeans and t-shirt.
- “It’s my friend, Severus.”
- “You’re friends with this muggle?”
- “Yeas. And he is not a muggle. We go to school together.”
He shook his head in disapproval – “That damn school will accept anyone these days. What is your name, boy?”
- “Severus.” I barely whispered.
- “Speak up. Or are you incapable of talking normally?”
I swallowed a lump in my throat – “My name is Severus, sir.”
- “You’re not a dog, are you?” I shook my head. “Then you gotta have a family name that goes with that, do you not?”
- “Snape, sir.”
He thought about it for a minute. – “I don’t know any pure blood family with this name.”
- “My mother is a witch. Her family name is Prince. My father is… was a muggle.”
- “I see. I know your… better side of your family. What I still don’t know is what you are doing in my house.”
- “Severus is my friend, father. His mother is out of town and I thought that maybe he could stay with us for a while” Lucius lied.
- “Is that so?” Abraxas looked at me. I lowered my head and looked at the floor, not being able to say a word. He brought my chin up and looked me in the eyes “Legilimens”
I fell him invade my mind. It was weird having someone in my head. I never knew something like that was possible. After he was done going through my memories, I felt him withdraw. He turned to Lucius and glared at him dangerously – “Don’t ever lie to me again, Lucius.” Then, turned back to me.
- “That was a difficult choice you’ve made. As much as it pains me to say, my son needs to learn that from you.”
- “It was an accident. He was drunk. I… I didn’t…”
- “No matter” he cut me off. “I see how you can be of use to me in the future. You may stay. However, at one point I will need to introduce you to some people and explain your presence in my house. I will not have you parading around in something like this. If you want to stay in this house, you will need to learn how to talk, walk and behave properly. When you do, you’ll get treated accordingly. Until then, I’ll treat you no differently than I treat all of my house elves.”
- “Father, Severus is my friend…”
- “Shut it, Lucius. Keep fighting his fights and he will never become anything more than he is right now. Nothing is free in this life. Nothing gets handed to you on a silver platter. All of our decisions have consequences. Things like trust and respect need to be earned.” He turned to me again “You may stay and earn it or get the fuck out and not waste any more of my time.”
His words hurt, but I swallowed my pride and raised my head to look him in the eyes – “I’ll earn it, sir.” He nodded and clapped his hands. A female elf appeared and gave him a low bow – “What can Tinky do for the master?”
- “Give this boy some proper clothes and show him to his room. Then, explain him his chores and start working on dinner.”
- “Of course, master. Right away. Does master want anything specific for dinner?”
- “Surprise me”
Elf bowed again and took my hand. I could see that Lucius felt awkward. He didn’t think it was going to turn out this way. He wanted to say something, but I stopped him – “No, it’s ok. It’s better that way.”
From this time on, everything had changed. I helped around the house as much as I could. House elves were kind to me and didn’t have me do anything hard. Soon enough, I learned all the proper manners. I was no longer hiding from anyone. I held myself straight and learned to look people in the eyes when I held a conversation. I learned that it was the best way to intimidate people. I also no longer wore hand-me-downs. Black seemed to suit me the most, so I stuck to it, with a rare white collar shirt that was seen from under my robes.
The only thing that I longed for was mother’s love, which Minerva provided abundantly. She didn’t really approve that I lived with the Malfoys, but even she couldn’t change my decision.
As I grew, my magic powers got stronger. I discovered that Malfoys had an excessive library that held a lot of books on the dark arts and learned a lot from them. No one would think of challenging me now. Even James and his crew backed down for a while. They were still trying to get me in trouble, every chance they got, but it was more difficult now. I was no longer someone that they could mess with.
Lily and I still kept talking from time to time, but she didn’t approve all the changes that I went through. She didn’t like me practicing dark magic also. I didn’t listen. Mastering the dark arts was something that came easy to me. I started creating spells of my own. Each spell, being more powerful than the other. Lily said it was dangerous, but having all that power exited me. Plus I was still mad that she preferred James to me, which he rubbed in my face, every time he could. Kissing and hugging her when I was around.
Next few years changed all of us. Nacissa turned from a cute little girl into a stunning young lady. Her exceptional aristocratic manners and striking beauty made her stand out from the other girls in school. Even the ones from pure blood families could not compare to her elegance and class. Her sisters attended Hogwarts with us. Andromeda was always the quiet one and avoided the company at all costs. As for Bella, she was a force to be reckoned with. Also gorgeously beautiful, she used her beauty to get what she wanted, no matter the consequences.
Lucius’ appearance changed also. He became even more handsome than he was. His magic was stronger than of many in the school. His high upbringing and his last name brought respect and fear. And with that, a lot of people who were ready to kiss his royal arse, just to get his attention. Girls of all houses lined up in front of the classroom doors, to get a good look at him, or a chance to hear him say “hello” to one of them, which I teased him for mercilessly.
Narcissa didn’t pay much attention to the people around him. After all, she was to become a Lady Malfoy and that made the others of no significance. In the public eye, they were a perfect couple. In truth though, it was all one-sided. She loved him more than anything, with no hope for anyone else. For Lucius, she was a good friend. He cared for her, but his heart was elsewhere.
At the age of fifteen, he did something that surprised even me. He fell in love with a muggle girl, named Letty. Narcissa didn’t know about it of course. I tried telling him how wrong it was, but his feelings for that girl were so strong that he didn’t want to listen.
- “She accepts me for who I am Severus and not for my status or money” he used to tell me.
I didn’t think it was fair to Cissy, but Lucius was my best friend. I don’t remember when my own feelings to Narcissa have changed and I stopped seeing her as just my friend. Not that I didn’t think of Lily anymore, but she was with James now and that was something that I couldn’t do anything about.
Compared to Narcissa, Lily seemed plain. Like a constant reminder of the life I used to have, before I met Lucius. I knew that my feelings could never be returned. Cissy was betrothed to Lucius and would never even consider to look at someone like me the same way she looked at him. So I kept my feelings to myself, being thankful to at least have her friendship.
As we all turned sixteen, Abraxas announced about Lucius’ and Narcissa’s wedding. Narcissa glowed with happiness, while Lucius only played the part of a happy groom. Their barbaric, pure blood traditions, required the bride to spend the night at the groom’s house, so their union could get consummated. In the morning, the sheets with the bride’s virgin blood were supposed to be carried out and shown to the father of the groom, as confirmation of her purity.
The night before the wedding, Lucius approached me.
- “I need to ask you for something. And I know it’s not something that you or anyone else would approve, but you are my brother, Severus and my best friend.”
- “Of course. What do you need me to do?”
- “I need you to consummate my marriage for me.”
I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. – “Are you insane?”
- “No. It’s going to be my first time too and I want it to be with the woman I love. I gave her my word.”
- “Lucius, Narcissa is your bride. Your wife. This is crazy, not to mention impossible.”
- “It might be crazy, but not impossible. All you need is a good polyjuice potion, which I’m sure you won’t have any problem brewing. After the ceremony, you will say that you need to go and take care of some business and leave. Then, you will drink the potion and return to the party as me.”
- “Lucius, if your father finds out about this, he will kill both of us.”
- “He will never find out. I only meet with Letty in the muggle world and my father doesn’t associate with muggles. There is no way he’d ever find out about it. Plus, I will return by the time the potion wears off, so no one will ever see the change.”
- “What about Narcissa? She is my friend too.”
- “Please, Severus. This is my only chance to be with the woman I love… and so is yours.”
- “And what is that supposed to mean?”
- “Don’t insult me, Severus. Don’t think I don’t see the way you look at her.”
- “Lucius… I swear, I would never…”
- “I know. I understand the situation better than you think. I am to wed Narcissa and there’s nothing that can be done to change that. Just like there’s nothing can be done about you being a half-blood. It’s just something we’ll have to live with. All I’m asking is this one night. Please brother. Help me.”
Gods, how many times I wished I could take my words back and just say “no”.
Their wedding was beautiful. I could swear that never in my life I’ve seen anything as stunning as Narcissa in her wedding dress. When it was my turn to dance with the bride, all I could do was hold my breath.
It was on their wedding day, that all of us got introduced to the man Abraxas referred to as “My Lord”. He complimented the bride and made a small talk with Lucius and myself.
All I could think of throughout the party, was what we both were about to do. Finally, the time came for me to excuse myself. Lucius said that he needs to talk to me before I go and we both went to his room. Once there, we exchanged our clothing and I drank the potion. Needless to say, that it came out perfect and I looked exactly like Lucius. – “Even better” he said, smiling.
I watched him disapparate and made my way back to the party. The hardest thing was to look at Narcissa. I just couldn’t concentrate on anything other than the thought of what was about to happen between us. Finally, the party was over and guests left one after the other. She smiled and took my hand, as we both made our way to the east wing of the manor, where we had a big room set up for our wedding night.
- “Come here. Help me take this off” she said, as her fingers started to undo the little hooks on the corset of her dress. I was so nervous at that moment, that I forgot how to breathe.
- “Lucius, breathe” she laughed. “Don’t think I don’t know that it was all you could think off during the party. Or should we call Severus for help?”
- “No. I’ll…I’ll manage” I mumbled.
As I took a step closer, someone knocked at the door. I opened it to see Abraxas standing there, his eyes boring into my own.
- “I am terribly sorry, my dear. I hate to disturb, but I have an urgent matter to discuss with my son. I promise, it will not take long.”
We stepped out of the room and he looked at me hatefully. – “You ungrateful little piece of shite. I put a roof over your head, feed you, dress you, teach you manners. I even introduce you to My Lord and all for what? So you could pretend to be my son and fuck his wife, while he goes to have fun with that little muggle whore of his?”
- Sir, I …”
He didn’t let me finish. A blow to my face was so hard and unexpected that I was out before I could think what to say next.
I don’t know how long I was out for. When I finally got hold of my senses, I was chained to the wall and seemed to be bleeding from everywhere. It was hard to open my eyes fully. By me, there was a girl, chained to the same wall. She didn’t look much better. Her petite body was a bloody mess. Her face was swollen and bleeding. She looked like she was going to die any minute.
- “Look son, your friend decided to finally join us. About time I’d say, don’t you think?” I heard Abraxas’ voice. I raised my head a little and saw Lucius standing on his knees in front of his father. His red, swollen eyes told me that he was crying a lot. Lower lip had a deep cut on it, blood dripping on his white shirt.
- “Father, please. Let them go.”
- “I’m afraid that it is something I can’t do. It’s time to learn how to make difficult choices in life and then answer for the consequences. Consider this your lesson in disobedience. Choose Lucius, which one of them dies and which one lives.”
Lucius tried to stand up, but the spell his father cast kept him on his knees.
- “Choose wisely, son. Think which one of them will be of more use to you in the future, that little whore of yours, or your dear friend.”
I saw Lucius’ eyes fill up with tears again – “Please father. I… I can’t. I won’t choose between them” he yelled.
- “Come on Lucius, think. If I spare Severus, you will still be able to offer some sort of explanation to your new wife. I told her, by the way, about your little plan before I took her virginity. Imagine how surprised she was to have me do it instead of you.”
I will never forget the look of horror on my brother’s face. His scream filled up the room as he tried to break free from the spell once again. Unfortunately, to no avail.
- “I told you son, there are consequences to everything. Unfortunately, I just couldn’t let your little half-blood friend do that for you. She was to be taken by a Malfoy and so she was. Consider this a consequence for your lying.”
- “How did you find out?” Lucius whispered, raising his head.
- “Thanks to your friend here” he said, pointing to the hooded person that stepped out of the shadows. We watched in shock, as he lifted the hood of his robes and revealed his face. We couldn’t believe who we were seeing in front of us. He made a few steps towards Lucius and leaned down, evil smile playing on his lips – “I promised I’ll get back at you, Malfoy. I hope you’ll enjoy this as much as I do.” After that, he turned his head to me – “I see you’re finally where you belong, Severus.”
After that, he gave Abraxas a courtly bow and disaparrated in a swish of black robes.
- “As entertaining as it all was, the choice is still yours, Lucius. What will it be? What, nothing? Very well, than. I’ll make it for you… again. They both die.”
He whispered an incantation and the spell from his wand hit me and Letty with full force. It unlocked the metal cuffs that held us chained to the wall, letting us fall face down on the cold floor of the dungeon.
- “I’ll let you say your goodbyes” Abraxas said on his way out, muttering another spell that allowed Lucius to get up from his knees. I saw him jumping to the girl’s body to check the pulse and not finding it. He then moved to me. I saw him saying something, but couldn’t make out the words. I took one last look at him, before the darkness took over.
Strangely, in few short moments, my senses came back to me and I was able to open my eyes again. Lucius was still leaning over me, pressing his freshly cut wrist to my own.
- “What did you do?” I mumbled.
- “I’m sorry. I couldn’t let you die. He took my wand and that is all I could think of.”
- “What did you do, Lucius?”
- “I used QUI ANIMAM VIVIERE spell. My life is now yours, brother.
- “You saved my life by giving me your own, why?”
- “Because all of this, is a consequence of the choice I made and I am answering for it” he said, helping me to get up. “Let’s go. We need to find Cissy.”
Holding onto each other, we made our way out of the dungeons. I showed Lucius to the room where I left Narcissa and we walked in without knocking. Her wedding gown laid torn up in one of the corners. Sheets with blood stains were scattered all over the bed. The breathing caught up in both of our throats. We heard water in the shower and loud sobs.
- “Wait for me” Lucius said, removing his shirt and stepping into the bathroom. I heard Cissy’s cries in the shower and imagined what that bastard must have put her through. I never felt so guilty in my entire life. Few minutes later, Lucius stepped out of the bathroom. He was soaked, with water running down his long hair, making it stick to his face. He wrapped Narcissa into a towel and carried her in his arms. I removed the bloody sheets from the bed, so he could sit her down.
Still holding on to her towel with both hands, she continued to cry. I wished there was anything I could do at that moment. Anything to stop her tears. Gods, if only I would say “no” back then. Finally she raised her eyes to Lucius – “Was it true what he said about you and that muggle girl?”
He lowered his head and closed his eyes.
- “Is this how little I mean to you then? So little that you would rather leave me with Severus and go have sex with your muggle girlfriend?”
I saw Lucius drop to his knees in front of her, his wet hair, covering his crying eyes – “Please forgive me. I never meant for all of this to happen. I never wanted to hurt you.”
- “You did, Lucius. He did too. I don’t want to see you anymore” she said, removing the ring from her finger and giving it back to him.
Lucius wrapped his arms around her knees, pressing his head down to them – “Please Cissy. I know what I did is unforgivable, but I beg you… please… let me prove how much you mean to me. I swear that I will never hurt you like that again. You are my future. My wife. My… everything. Please. Let me earn your trust back. Let me show you.”
- “Show me what?”
- “How much I… love you.”
- “And what about her? Do you love her too?”
- “She is no longer here. She… left. I will never see her again.”
- “Is that so?”
- “I give you my word” he said, taking her hand and placing the ring back on her finger.
- “I will need time, Lucius. I will need time to learn to trust you again and I don’t know how long it will take.”
- “All I ask is a chance.” He leaned forward and placed a light kiss on her lips.
- “Alright, we’ll see.”
- “Thank you.”
I took a few steps forward and took her hand – “For what it’s worth, I am sorry too. I am to blame as much as him for agreeing to something like this. I should have never done it and for that… forgive me.”
She shook her head before looking at me – “I’ll try.”
- “Thank you” I said, placing a kiss on her knuckles and walking out of the room to give them some privacy.
I waited for him in his study for about an hour. When he walked in, there were no more tears in his eyes. Only coldness and hate.
- “Where is Cissy?” I asked.
- “I gave her a sleeping drought and put her in bed in another room.” He pulled her wand out “Do you think it will listen to me?”
- “It should. You are one now.”
- “Good”
- “Lucius, don’t do it. His magic is much stronger than yours.”
- “I need to. He will never leave us alone. And I can’t forgive him for what he did to Letty and Narcissa.”
- “At least let me go with you.”
- “No, Severus. It’s my fight. He won’t be able to kill me. Not while you’re still alive. This is something I need to do on my own, brother. I will need you to talk to the house elves though. Tell them to take care of Letty’s body and clean up the dungeons. Tell them to bury her in the garden. And Roses. I want there to be plenty of them. Yellow. Her favorite.”
- “I’ll do as you ask.”
He walked out and waited for Abraxas in his room. It was almost morning when he finally came back.
He didn’t need to say anything. The look in his eyes told me that he did what he said he would. Abraxas would no longer hurt any one of us.
Lucius poured us some brandy and we drank without saying a single word to each other.
My life was not my own anymore and I knew who to blame for this. For all of this. The hate I felt before was of no comparison to the complete and utter malevolence I carried in my heart now. Nothing would save him now. Not Lily. Not his friends. Not anyone.
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ONE LIFE TO LIVE