Adult-FanFiction.org : Harry Potter

Who Are They Now? COMPLETE	By : Snapes_Slave Category: Harry Potter > Het - Male/Female > Snape/Hermione Views: 9101 -:- Recommendations : 2 -:- Currently Reading : 2
Disclaimer: I own no part of the Harry Potter universe, That honor lies solely with Madame Rowling herself, nor do I own any part of Funny Girl or its music. I make no money from this story.

Chapter List
- 4
- 5
- 6
DISCLAIMER: Totally not mine, guys. Not making anything off this, just a bit of fun stress relief...

"So, how bad has it been?" Severus asked, cutting right to the point, as he lead the way up the stairs to the balcony seats.
"Really, it's been fine. It's just... seeing you today, it threw me a bit. I'm completely fine, I promise." She said, choosing 2 seats in the back, farthest away from everyone in the company, hopefully offering some privacy. The fake smile on her face did nothing to improve the lie.
"That's wonderful. And if I worked for the Prophet, I may have believed you. Now, how bad has it been, Hermione." He asked again.
"Right." She said on a harsh exhale, running a hand through her hair. "Should have known it wouldn't work with you... I'm doing better. It hasn't been easy for me. It was like... everywhere I turned, something set me off, and all of a sudden, I was back on the grounds. People bleeding all around me, screams, curses flying by. The only thing that helped occupy my mind for any length of time was my work and research. That's where all the potions came from. But I was so unhealthy the whole time. Barely sleeping, barely eating, I would go days without showering, weeks without seeing people. I dropped down to about 40 kilograms. I wasn't even 6 and a half stone. I couldn't stand for periods longer than a few minutes. I had another nightmare one night, and when I went to the loo to shower after, I looked up and saw myself in the bathroom mirror. I could see all my ribs, my hip bones poking out, my legs were like twigs. My skin was sallow, I had bags under my eyes, my cheeks sunken in. That was the day I checked myself into the hospital. It's been just shy of a year since then. I'm at a healthy weight, I am completely self sufficient and have prioritized my own care and well being. I sold my parents house and found a new one, farther out in the country, and decided to go back into theater. I used to love it in my younger days and I've found that the joy is still there."
"I'm so glad that you're doing well. I always knew you would do great things, but I also knew that out of the three of you, you were the most emotionally connected to others. I had a feeling that the war would take it's toll on you." Severus said, taking her hand in his and brushing the knuckles.
"I still have fits sometimes. I just hate how week it makes me feel, how vulnerable." She said, starting to tear up slightly.
"Hermione, this is not a weakness. Not at all. This happens to you because of the strength in your feelings for others. It was your emotional attachment to all those people that helped you to fight so hard. That is what made you as powerful as you are. You became so greatly attached to people, that seeing that death and destruction has done some damage. It is with great strength that you continue living your life, creating new potions, doing important research, after all that you have been through. Never think yourself weak. You are probably the strongest person, witch or wizard, that I have ever known." He told her solemnly, as he pushed a strand of hair behind her ear.
She looked at her hands in her lap with a shy smile. "You know, I've never forgotten you. As a teacher, as a mentor... As an ally. I kept thinking about that night. In the shack. I would see it replaying in my mind over and over, and I would break down. I would completely lose myself for a time. And one day, it happened in my lab. It was when I was working on Moony's Revenge actually, and I started crying these buckets of tears into the cauldron, and I started laughing, almost hysterically. I could hear your voice in my head, saying how foolish I was to be ruining such a complicated and expensive potion over something so silly, because you weren't even dead. I know it's rediculous, but hearing those words in your voice, the deep rumbling voice of my greatest advisor, well, it helped me to pull myself together." He smirked at the story.
"I believe I would have said something very similar to that, had I been there." He chuckled lightly.
"It's actually based off your Wolfsbane potion, you know? Moony's Revenge? It never would have been successful without you." She said grabbing his large hand in both of hers, finally raising her eyes from her lap, and seeing the appreciation and adoration in his dark gaze. "Thank you. For everything professor." She whispered.
"Severus. We'll not be taking steps back at this point Hermione." He gave her a half smile as he ran his hand along her wrist and up her forearm. "Calm?" He asked.
"Yes. Much better, thank you." She said on an exhale.
"Then let's be getting back. I'm sure Simon has everyone getting ready to begin again." He said with a raised brow. They rose from the back row of balcony seats and made their way towards the stairs leading down to the main auditorium floor hand in hand. "By the way, I'm sure you already know this, but you are incredibly talented, Hermione. I'm not sure I've ever seen someone perform that song quite so well before." He told her, seeing her deep blush in his sidelong glance. "I feel as though I'll be here only for single run-throughs of each song until the orchestra is ready. I can't see how you would need any work." He said shaking his head.
"Thank you, Severus. But I actually need some work on a couple of songs. I mean, musically I have them down, but emotionally... I'm still somewhat lost. Simon keeps saying how he'll be rich from this show and won't hear a word about my needing work, which of course makes me more nervous..." She said, trailing off. "But, Severus...? Thank you. I've always wanted to hear you say I did well... At something. Literally anything. I know it's silly of me, the incredibly accomplished witch, brightest of the age, to still be seeking her professor's approval, but it was nice." She told him, shyly tucking her head into her shoulder away from him.
"Was it worth the wait?" He whispered in her direction.
"Absolutely." She said, giving him a beaming smile that stopped his heart and stole his breath with its brilliance.

HGSSHGSSHGSSHGSSHGSS

Several hours later, and after considerable time spent on placement of extras in all the main scenes, the cast and crew were released for the evening.
"Right everyone. Rest up, and tomorrow we'll try for a full run through of the show, top to bottom. Let's do what we have to, to be ready for the full orchestra in the next few weeks." Simon said, as people grabbed their belongings and made for the doors.
Hermione grabbed her tan leather messenger bag, tossing it across her chest securely so it would stay in place during apparation, as she began moving for the main doors. Her face was a taught expression of focus on concentration, and she jolted slightly, when Severus caught her hand as she passed.
"Hermione, if you want to, we could work on your songs. I know how you tend to over prepare, and I would hate to be your enabler, but I understand wanting to perfect something that will be seen by hundreds." He said, looking down into her caramel colored eyes as they seemed to catch all the light in the room. "That is, if you have no other plans for the evening." He asked.
"Actually, I do have dinner plans this evening, but I have a few hours opened. If you're sure..." She said, not noticing how his face dropped slightly.
"Certainly. Would you like to work at my home? I do have a piano." He told her.
"That sounds perfect." She told him, a grateful smile lighting her features.
He offered her his arm in a chivalrous gesture, as he lead them to the alley near the rear of the building. He turned into her, wrapping his hands around the small of her back and holding her tightly. "Ready?" He said breathily into her crown.
"Yes" she said on a sigh, pulling him closer to her chest, her fingers working there way into the soft warn cotton of his long sleeved charcoal jumper, pressing her cheek to the center of his chest. His breath stuttered in his chest slightly, before he turned on his heal, disapparating them on the spot. He held her close as she regained her bearings and looked up to take in the front of his home.
She was shocked. Not by the white house with its navy blue shutters and trim. Not by the beautiful and carefully maintained flower beds surrounding the front. She was not surprised by the lovely and inviting porch swing situated to the side of the blue door on his wrap around porch, or the bright light emanating from the large bay window on the side of the house. She was shocked, instead, by the view just down the lane. Turning to glance further down the dirt road between his house, and that of his neighbors, she began to laugh. Softly at first, before large, heaving guffaws overwhelmed her and had her bending in half.
"Are you quite alright, Hermione?" Severus asked her, as he tried to help her keep her balance through her fit of peak. His face held the confusion it so often had when trying to create new potions, as he began to question her sanity. She began pointing at the house down the way, as her breath began coming back in starts and sputters.
"That- that house!" She laughed, "the one down the way-" chuckle, "I've just-" a fresh wave of 'laughing tears' came to her eyes as she took in a few deep breaths. "That's my new house." She finally said, looking up into his face with a very pleased expression. "I tried for years, to find a place that would hold no triggers or reminders of my past, and end up buying a house next door to the man that holds my harshest triggers and saddest memories." She finally stopped laughing and wiped the last of her tears away, her eyes holding happiness and contentment. Taking his hand up again and pulling herself close to him, she put her free arm around his waist and hugged him close, her nose nuzzling into his, decidedly firm, pectorals, and murmured, "I'm so glad. Maybe I'll finally feel safe again, having you nearby."
"I'm glad to be a source of amusement for you." He stated, trying to infuse the comment with as much snark as he could muster, the effect very much lost on her, as he ran his right hand over her back comfortingly. "I hope you will sleep better knowing I am here." He said, before lightly kissing the curls on the top of her head. "Now shall we get to work? I do believe you said you have plans this evening." He suggested, steering her towards the front door.
"What would you like to start with? I'm guessing you're having trouble with My Man, and Who Are You Now. Those tend to really make or break the performance." He asked, leading her to his den and baby grand piano and settling himself on the piano bench.
"Well, I suppose we should start with Who Are You Now. It's so simple, but for some reason, I can't quite get the feeling in it the way I want to. It's the same for My Man. I understand what they mean, but I just... can't make you feel it. It's becoming frustrating and worrisome for me." She said with a huff as she sat on a warn chair next to the hearth. Severus turned around on the bench, looking at his former student intently.
"Hermione, tell me. What is the real meaning of the song?" He asked, leaning forward slightly.
"She's confused for him. She wants to help Nick, but they've both made mistakes and neither one knows how to fix what they've lost. She sees how he's changed from the man she used to know and love. She doesn't know how to make him see that what he's doing to them is so awful, and that she just wants to help." Hermione tried to put it into words.
"That was a very nice synopsis of the show, but I want to know the meaning of the song. Forget what's happening in the show. Hear the song. Feel the words. What does it mean?" He asked again. He watched her as she closed her eyes and started to sway slightly from side to side. A small smile came over his face as he watched her process his request. She was hearing it. Her brow furrowed then relaxed. After a few minutes, a small tear escaped from beneath the long curling lashes of her eye and she opened them to look at him. Taking a trembling breath, she answered him.
"She's lost. She's overwhelmed by her love for this man and feels somehow inadequate in what she can do for him and give to him. But she's also devastated by this idea that her emotions are too much for him and that her love for him is just so abundant that it's actually hurting them both. She's lost who he is and feels as though he's forgotten it himself. The song is a question. It's her asking if she has been something good in his life, or if she's just been in the way or held him back or hurt him in life." She rambled slightly, wiping at her eyes with the long sleeves of her blush pink t-shirt. "How have I never noticed how tragically beautiful that song is before?" She said with a humorless chuckle.
"I want you to put these headphones on," he said handing her a pair of, what looked like, professional quality headphones, "and sing the song. These will allow you to hear only what I play on the piano, but you will be unable to hear yourself or anything else. I want you to close your eyes, and just feel it." He told her. She looked at him skeptically, before placing the foam over her ears and nodding at him slightly. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath as he played the opening chords.
Severus had heard her perform the song earlier in rehearsal, and had noticed that it lacked something. He couldn't say for sure what. The notes were all there, the crescendos and decrescendos were all flawless, but it didn't really hit as hard as it should have. She was right. She was missing something in the emotional connection to the song, and as she sang, pouring her heart out in the middle of his den, ridiculous foam headphones covering her ears, as she moved and swayed and clutched at the invisible ache in her chest, tears falling gracefully down her cheeks, he felt it. Severus could feel every bit of confusion, every heartbreaking piece of fear of this woman, losing her love by loving him too much, and it hurt. It slashed deeply, and pierced him, in the gut deep way that music was supposed to. As Hermione drew out the last fading notes and opened her eyes, she saw something she had never thought she would see in all her life.
Severus Snape had tears in his eyes and sat back, slowly applauding her. He hastily scrubbed at his face, as he turned and pulled a tape out of a recorder that she hadn't noticed.
"Go home and listen to that." He said, his voice gravelly with emotion.
"I- I... Just- well," she stuttered, still trying to pull herself back together, "Thank you, Severus. It seems I won't be able to stop saying that to you, but thank you for helping me get it right." Her voice was soft and wavered slightly, as she accepted the tape from his hand, her fingers brushing his gently, sending a chill up her spine. She gasped, clutching the tape to her chest before tucking it carefully into her messenger bag and turning to leave. "I, umm... I appreciate your help. I'll see you tomorrow I suppose." She said shyly, trying to leave quickly.
"He's a lucky man." Severus said to her retreating back. She paused at the front door, her hand on the knob, as she questioned him softly. "Who is?"
"Whoever you're seeing tonight. He's a very lucky man." Severus told her seriously, looking deeply into her eyes, as she gifted him with another one of her brilliant smiles.
"Actually, tonight is my monthly dinner with everyone. Harry, Ginny, Ron and Luna and the kids will be coming over for dinner. I'm hosting this evening because they all wanted to see the new house. It's been one of the few things that we all make the time for. I would have to be dead or dying to get out of it. I'm sure they'll get a kick out of who my new neighbors are." She told him with a slight half smile on her face. Realizing just what his comment had implied, she added, "I'm very much single. Very few men would be able to understand my history and all its baggage enough to see me." Her eyebrow lifted at his slightly dumfounded expression. She turned the door knob and began exiting the door, quietly adding, "Though I hope not to be single much longer." Severus was left standing there, hoping he understood his former student's intentions with her parting comment, for quite some time, before running a hand over his face and grumbling to the empty house, "Gods. That woman will be the death of me." With a surprisingly pleased smirk at the thought.

A/N
I'm so sorry that it's been so long since I updated!!! hope this chapter makes up for it? Looking forward to the next chapter...

ANON- As someone who gre up very deeply entrenched in the arts, it was something that was remarkably easy to come up with, and, so far is making my heart happy. Glad you're liking it.
HarryGinny4EVA- I figured, if anyone was going to understand living with PTSD, it had to be the guy who lived as a spy for half his life. I'm hoping the story pans out how it looks in my mind. So far so good.
Staar- 100% agree with you there. JK Rowling has actually come out and said that she regrets pairing them together. In my mind, Hermione and Severus are an ideal couple. I just can't see them with anyone else. Hope you're enjoying it!

Reviews! My kingdom for reviews!
- 4
- 5
- 6
You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.
Report Story

Who Are They Now? *COMPLETE*

Who Are They Now? COMPLETE