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The Intentions of Others	By : BunnyBopper Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Snape/Remus Views: 3142 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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- 6
WARNINGS: Domestic abuse mention, Discrimination mention

Severus had the uneasy feeling he was being watched as he placed the cauldron on his desk. Normally he would have gone with his gut and started investigating his classroom for signs of intrusion. However, lately he had become used to living with an overarching paranoia so he just tried to ignore it. He paused before continuing trying to think what would help. Perhaps some music? That usually helped him focus. Nothing with lyrics – too distracting. He flicked his wand at the gramophone carefully hidden in the back of the room and set it to play whatever record was still in it. Debussy. How appropriate, he thought as he surveyed the work ahead of him.

As Severus listened to the haunting music his thoughts of course turned to Remus. It was sad, really, how much time they had wasted. Maybe if things had been different all those years ago they could have been friends? Maybe things would have developed into something more? Maybe Severus wouldn’t have gone down the path that he had. Maybe if he’d learned to trust someone other than Lily she would still be…

No. The odds were stacked too highly against them. Severus shook himself out of it. All he had was now. And right now, he could do something to help. He set to work. Soon he was fully focused on the task at hand. He had to be of course – slipping up could cost Remus his life – but he also wanted to make sure it was completely perfect. That there was enough dittany to minimise the risk of Remus acquiring any new scars, and a little extra valerian root to ensure his mind was as peaceful as it could be. After he was finished Severus set the potion aside, placed the goblet next to it, and sat down to await Remus’ arrival. The man was the one coming to him...as was so often the case these days.

It had been several weeks since he and Remus had begun their – whatever this was – and Severus had learned a lot about him in that short space of time. Remus’ tale was, unsurprisingly, a sad one. Severus had, of course, known about his lycanthropy for years but he’d never really taken the time to appreciate how it dominated every facet of his life. Remus told him small snippets during their time together. Severus learned to simply listen as questions tended to make him evasive. He spoke about how his parents had had to move around constantly for fear he would be discovered. How the only time he’d ever felt accepted was at Hogwarts. How he would give in to any peer pressure to ensure that acceptance continued. How he could tell his friends he was a werewolf but he was too scared to tell them he was gay in case they rejected him.

And Severus found himself telling him things too. About his life. About his father. Once he just sat staring straight ahead and all the feelings and memories he’d bottled up for years came spilling out of him. He spoke about the violence, recounting some things he never told anyone before. About how powerless and ashamed he felt the times he did nothing to protect his mother. About the times when he did do something and it just made everything worse. He even confessed to all the times he thought about killing his father. About how, when he got older, he knew he could. So so easily. It would only have taken a flick of his wrist. But he’d wanted to be around for his mother. He couldn’t go to Azkaban. She needed him. And then she’d died.

Remus just let him talk. And then, when he was sure Severus was ready, he held him. He’d let himself cry for the first time in years in the man’s arms. Amazingly it had felt perfectly natural. When he was finished Remus had wiped his remaining tears away and Severus was further surprised to see some in the other man’s eyes too. They’d stayed in each others arms without speaking until they eventually slipped into sleep.

Pushing the memories aside, Severus busied himself with the essays that needed marking. He really was starting to get behind. And if the rubbish he was forced to read was any indication, his teaching was being affected too. He had to be firm with Remus this time. Tell him he was too busy for any- Severus looked up to see the man had entered the room after only the briefest of knocks.

‘You know, it’s generally considered polite to wait until someone grants you entry before you waltz in.’ He reprimanded with the playful sarcasm he seemed to use when Remus was around.

‘My apologies Severus, I’ll certainly remember that in future. I do appreciate you correcting my crass ways.’ Remus quipped back. They both knew full well that particular boundary was crossed some time ago.

‘How are you feeling?’ Severus knew if he didn’t ask now their usual back and forth would escalate before he got the chance.

‘Oh you know...awful...but I can’t complain when I have you around to help me.’ Severus could tell he didn’t wish to discuss it. He’d lived with this condition practically his entire life. Just because it was new to Severus didn’t mean Remus wanted to spend his time lamenting to him how hard his life was. He wouldn’t want Severus to worry, plus he was far too stoic for that.

But he did worry. Even though he knew it was ridiculous to. He’d never cared before, why should he now just because they were screwing? However, last month when Remus had disappeared off to the shrieking shack – This is something I have to go through alone. Trust me, it’s better that way – Severus had had time to reflect that this wasn’t strictly true. He’d never really know why he’d never told anyone Remus was a werewolf all those years ago. Of course there was his ‘oath’ to Dumbledore, and the small sense of power he’d gotten over holding the knowledge over his bullies, but there was something else that had stopped him even telling Lily. Sympathy? Empathy for a fellow outcast? Though Severus had known deep down he could have changed to try and fit in if he’d wanted to. Remus wouldn’t have that luxury if everyone knew what he was.

After that night, the night Remus’ friends had nearly turned him into a murderer, the boy had sought Severus out several times to apologise. Remus had become more and more desperate to gain his forgiveness but each time Severus denied him it. He only stopped when Severus took out his wand and threatened to curse him into oblivion if he ever came near him again. He knew it wasn’t Remus’ doing. What he couldn’t forgive him for was how he still went running back to the others despite what they’d done to him. He’d thought the only difference between him and the other marauders was that Remus had the misfortune to possess some kind of conscience. Severus had no interest in alleviating his guilt.

But that was then. Now Severus could look back with the perspective of an adult he understood why Remus had sought refuge in his friends and why he’d feared abandonment and isolation so much. Wasn’t that the exact reason he himself had gravitated more and more towards the dark arts and those who practised them? They were more alike than he’d ever realised.

‘Indeed you can’t…I’m rather busy tonight so we’ll need to keep this strictly business I’m afraid.’ Instead of pressing him, Severus allowed their shameless flirting to continue.

Remus had feigned disappointment but Severus could see he wasn’t up to it anyway. As the man turned away to take the potion, Severus’ mind went back to their first unrestrained encounter against this very desk. He wished he’d chosen a different location to unconsciously come on to him – it made teaching from it now immensely distracting at times. He was brought out of the memory by Remus commencing his moaning about the taste of the potion causing Severus to respond with his usual retort.

‘Well I suppose there are limits to even your talents...’ The man never missed the opportunity for innuendo it seemed. He knew just what talents Remus was referring to as gazed down at him with a mischievous smirk. Severus was a quick learner and he’d gotten to know just what made Remus tick during their time together. It didn’t hurt that the man had given him permission to enter his mind from time to time so he could see exactly what he wanted. See it and withhold it until he was a writhing, begging mess. The picture of desperation. Only then would he finally give it to him.

‘There are limits to my patience also. What are you still doing here?’ He was starting to get mildly irritated now. Mostly with himself at being unable to ever truly be firm with Remus.

‘I have something for you.’ Severus stopped to observe him properly. He’d become slightly more animated and his eyes were gleaming with anticipation. What on earth could he be introducing him to this time? Severus was then surprised to find a basket piled high with small black and yellow flowers had appeared on his desk. Did Remus really think he was the type to be wooed by such things?

‘Flowers? That’s a bit cliché even for you.’ Severus tried to ignore the feelings of delight he felt as he looked at them more closely. It was only when he noticed the delicate silver edges that he realised what they were. ‘Wait. Are these?’

Remus went on to make up the ridiculous story that he’d ‘just happened’ to come across them. Severus knew every inch of the safe locations in the forbidden forest and the useful plants that grew there. Silver-laced primroses were not one of them. And he’d mentioned he needed them weeks ago! Did Remus really pay attention to every mundane thing he said?

‘I happen to have an excellent memory.’ The man responded with a coy smile after Severus pointed this out.

‘Disturbingly so. And I suppose you also remember me telling you that they grow deep in the forest? So deep Hagrid doesn’t even go that far?’ Even despite his affinity for creatures that would kill him without hesitation, the half-giant knew it was too risky to venture that far. Had Remus really put himself in danger just for this?

‘Don’t seem to recall...’ He trailed off as Severus gave him one of his dangerous looks that said he should proceed with caution. ‘OK fine. It took me about five hours.’

Severus’ was hit with a sudden fear that quickly turned to anger. What was Remus doing putting himself at risk for something so frivolous?! He realised that the man did indeed look a lot worse than normal at this stage in the lunar cycle. He looked exhausted and his robes were in a particularly battered state. He must have rushed straight here on his return from the forest. Severus began scolding Remus for being so irresponsible before conjuring one of the armchairs from his quarters for him to sit down in.

‘I can take care of myself thank-you. Though I did trip over a particularly large tree root. Didn’t want to crush the flowers so I fell quite hard.’

‘You’re an imbecile.’ He remarked in frustration. Severus was rummaging through his desk drawer to locate the stash of chocolate he kept on hand for Remus. The man seemed to think it was a cure-all for everything. He watched with enjoyment as the man bit into it and chewed with an expression of pure bliss.

‘Oh this is good. Did I ever tell you I love you?’

Severus froze. He was being flippant of course. But still, hearing those words had caused his heart to leap. They stared at each other. Remus looked just as stunned by what he’d said. As they looked into each other’s eyes the feelings pushed through to him. There it was. Love. Somehow Severus knew it had been there the whole time.

‘Ahem-um- what I meant of course was-’ Remus stammered in his nervousness. He wasn’t going to watch the man suffer. No more game playing.

‘Don’t worry Remus. I always know exactly what you mean.’ Severus can’t look at him. Somehow he manages to keep his hand steady as he pretends to return to his marking. He can feel Remus watching him, perhaps hoping he’ll say more. But then he stands and Severus hears the smile in his voice as he speaks before taking his leave.

‘I know you do. See you later Severus.’

Severus manages to keep it together until the door is closed before he panics. Remus loved him! He truly did! No one had ever...why was he feeling so overwhelmed with...oh. The realisation comes to him slowly. He feels like he has to say the words aloud to make it real to him. He speaks into the hands he has now buried his face into.

‘I love you too.’

He can’t leave things like this, he realises as he leaps from his chair the legs scraping nosily along the stone floor. Severus abandons his work and flies from the room. He paused briefly as the door swings back as if it had collided against something after he pushed it shut behind him. Whatever. He’s got no time for this now. He strides off in the direction of Remus’ quarters.

***

The three of them watch Snape go under the cloak. Ron is muttering curse words under his breath and clutching his foot which got hit by the door as they rushed out to avoid being locked in the classroom and ending up with detention for the rest of the year. They remain still for several minutes until they are certain the potions master has left. Hermione then whips off the cloak and turns to stand in front of Harry and Ron before erupting into a fit of giggles. The boys just stare at her as she doubles over in apparent hysterics.

‘Well, I’m glad you find it so funny.’ Harry says angrily.

‘It’s not them I find funny.’ Hermione managed to say through continued giggling. ‘They’re adorable! It’s your faces that are utterly comic!’

Harry looks at Ron who is wearing an expression of confused horror. He imagines his own face looks similar. Harry doesn’t really care that Professor Lupin is gay but he’s in love with Snape?! Seriously?! Hermione continues to mock them as they make their way back to the Griffindor common room.

‘Oh Hermione, we need your help! Snape is evil and he’s hurting Professor Lupin!’ Her face is bright red with suppressed laughter.

‘Seriously Hermione will you give it a rest?’ Harry responds irritably. He needs some time to process this shift in his world view.

‘Well Harry, he’ll be doing something to him right now but I don’t think it’ll be painful!’ Hermione chortles clearly enjoying herself. Since when was she so vulgar anyway?

‘You don’t think they’re?!’ Ron exclaims, eyes wide with shock. Hermione just continues to giggle as she skips ahead of them.
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The Intentions of Others