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Going On	By : Relevant_Peach Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Harry/Snape Views: 6814 -:- Recommendations : 2 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I don't own the Harry Potter universe or the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 4
- 5
- 6
Several days passed, during which Potter and his insufferable Godson stayed mostly out of Severus’ way. Potter produced three excellent meals a day, which Snape took in the library, and, true to his word, the two of them were out quite a bit. When they were home, there seemed to be an endless parade of Gryffindors about the house. And Draco, who appeared, blonde toddler in tow most evenings before dinnertime. Harry reacted with delight to see the baby, and only mildly less effusively to see its father. Draco would deposit Scorpius in Harry’s waiting arms, and make his way to Severus’ labs to poke around at his potions ingredients.

“How’s it all going?” Draco asked Severus one such day. There were thumps and shrieks overhead, as though Potter were pulling the house down to the foundations, but Severus had learned that, although they sounded ominous, they were far more likely to be the result of some sort of chasing and shouting game that Harry had devised.

“It’s passable” Severus said carefully. In truth, his lifestyle were improved here. The food was certainly better, and, without the concern of turning a profit in his owl-order potions business, Severus was able to devote more time to research.

“You and Harry haven’t been arguing?”

“I’ll admit that he keeps to himself most of the time” Severus knew it sounded grudging. “He’s insufferably stubborn, though. He won’t accept help when it’s offered”

“Harry’s independence is important to him. Losing his magic was more difficult than he lets on. He appears as though he doesn’t miss it, but he was such a powerful Wizard that he performed a lot of it without even thinking. Harry’s more humble than most people,” at this Severus snorted. “No, Severus, you’ve always had a blind spot when it comes to Harry. It’s true. If you’d stop holding onto the past, you’d see it too. He’s humble, but it hurts him to have to rely on someone else. It’s as though he’s afraid that if he’s too much of a bother to people, they’ll give up on him”

Draco idly toyed with a sprig of snowdrop. “I think it was those horrible Muggles who raised him” he continued. “Harry won’t talk about it much, but I don’t think that they were very kind to him. He’s got these scars, you know, non-magical ones. And he was always so scrawny when he came back after the summer. And how do you explain how much of a shortarse he is? I heard that James and Lily Potter were both average height at least, but Harry’s like an elf or something, he’s so little-“

“You’ve obviously thought a great deal about this” Severus remained outwardly calm, but inwardly, his meticulous mind had begun to catalog some of his encounters with Potter as a boy. The awkward, hunching way he flinched whenever a hand approached the back of his neck. The way his eyes widened in the dining hall at the sheer volume of food provided, and the subsequent way he ate quickly, but with those green eyes darting around, as if he were expecting someone to abruptly remove his plate. The hungry way he’d watched the Weasley family’s open affection for one another. Could it be possible that Harry hadn’t been a coddled little sultan in his Muggle home? Certainly Petunia Evans had been an ill-tempered, jealous monster, but surely she had loved her own nephew?

“Of course I’ve thought about it, Severus, he was my enemy for six years at Hogwarts, and now he’s my best friend. Have you not noticed the way that he looks around sometimes at the people around him, as though it were Christmas morning, and he couldn’t believe how lucky he was? Merlin, my parents have their flaws, but I always felt treasured by them. I can’t imagine what it might be like to grow up without that”

I can Severus thought savagely. But a niggling sense of guilt was eating at his belly. He’d been a Head of House. Had seen more than his fair share of broken, unloved children come through Hogwarts. Slytherin House always seemed to attract the damaged children. Odd that Potter hadn’t-but, he fiercely reoriented himself to his original train of thought, he’d seen what abused children looked like. Had his own hatred and arrogance really blinded him to the fact that Harry’s Muggles had been mistreating him? And Albus…how had Albus allowed such a thing to continue? Severus wasn’t blind to the fact that Albus’ machinations tended to overlook the cost to the individual, but Harry had been his golden child. Had he really allowed him to have grown up unloved?

Obviously not. Draco was clearly reading more into Potter’s behaviour than was actually there. “You’re turning into another bleeding heart Gryffindor, Draconus”

“We’re a little old to be falling into stereotypes based on a sodding hat’s interpretation, aren’t we? Besides, I’ve learned that there are worse things to be than a Gryffindor” Draco’s voice was a little hollow.

“If you say” Severus returned to his cauldron, and Draco, satisfied that Severus was no longer in a talking mood, disappeared back up the stairs to the giggling, shrieking maelstrom of children. And one child, slightly larger than the rest, who ought to know better.

Potter’s childhood had mostly left Severus’ mind after a few weeks. He was in the kitchen on a rainy Saturday morning, brewing tea and considering a vexing problem he’d been having with a potion. Potter and the child were elsewhere in the house, playing what sounded like a fairly exuberant game of tag, but, Severus sighed, as always, within earshot. Calling on a strange sense of intuition he seemed to have, Harry suddenly said “Teds, we’re being sort of noisy, and I don’t want to disrupt Master Snape.”

“Why do you call him Master?”

“Because that’s his title, Teds. He’s a potions master, and he’s the most talented potions master Britain has seen in decades. Calling him ‘mister’ is a disrespect”

“He told me to call him Mister”

“Well, you should do what you wish, love. I’ll do as I wish. Now. Shall we play hide and seek? That’s likely quiet enough that we won’t disrupt our housemate’s important work”

“He’s not very nice, Uncle Harry”

“That’s not true, Teddy-bear. He shows it differently than others, but he’s very nice. Didn’t he mend your broom when you broke it?”

“I suppose”

“And didn’t he give you a potion to make you feel better when you were sick last week?”

“He did”

“You see? He may not be as warm as Uncle Ron” Perish the thought, Severus shuddered. “but don’t make the mistake of dismissing him. I did, for a lot of years. I didn’t see, and I was foolish. You’re smarter than me, aren’t you?”

“A crup is smarter than you, Uncle Harry” The child laughed.

“Brat! However, I can’t deny that it’s absolutely true. Now, are you going to hide, or are you going to forfeit the game?”

“I’ll hide”

“Just so. I’ll go into the kitchen to count” Potter appeared in the kitchen a moment later. He smiled at Severus. “Good morning, sir. I apologize if we’ve disturbed you this morning. The rain makes Ted a little stir-crazy”

“It’s fine” Severus sat at the table. “I’ve made tea”

“Thanks! I’ll have some shortly, I just have a little cub to find” With another sunny grin, Harry disappeared back out the kitchen door.

Some time later, it appeared that Teddy had found a hiding place to outsmart Harry, based on the number of times he thundered up and down the stairs. As he descended them once again, Harry cried out “I give up, Teddy. Where are you?”

There was the sound of a door opening in the front hall and suddenly Severus heard Harry moan. “Oh no. No. Oh Teds, no”

Severus’ brow crinkled. Was the boy injured? He rose and made his way into the hallway to find Harry on the floor in front of the small doorway beneath the stairs. He’d pulled Teddy out of the small cupboard and was cradling the child like a baby. It looked ridiculous, the child’s long gangly arms and legs dwarfing his Godfather. Harry’s face was ghastly white, and his eyes seemed glazed. Teddy was looking utterly flummoxed. “Uncle Harry? Are you okay?”

Harry didn’t seem to hear the child, but was staring at the cupboard with horror and holding the child close to him. Teddy was struggling to get away. “Uncle Harry? Let go, I’m fine. Why won’t you let me go?” As he spied Severus in the doorway, Teddy cried “Master Snape? Something’s wrong with Uncle Harry!”

Severus hastened to the prone man, whose grip on Teddy hadn’t slackened, despite the fact that he didn’t seem aware of his surroundings at all. Potter’s breath was coming in fast pants and sweat beaded on his forehead.

“Potter?” Severus ventured, prodding at the man’s arm. There was no response. “Harry?” Teddy was struggling, his Godfather’s behaviour, and the iron grip on his arms clearly frightening him. “Potter!” Severus barked, and the man jumped. He let go of the child, and blinked.

“Oh. I…I…sorry. Sorry Teddy” he finally said vaguely, and retreated into the corner, his eyes wide and horror-filled.

“What’s wrong?” Teddy said in agonized tones, looking at Severus as though he had the ability to fix things. Which, he supposed he did, in a manner of speaking.

Conjuring his Patronus, he waited until the doe were standing obediently in front of him, its nose nuzzling at his hand. “Go to Draco Malfoy” he told the doe. “Tell him: Draco, there’s something wrong with Potter. You’re needed urgently” The doe tossed her head and disappeared through the wall.

Although he were still frightened, Teddy looked awestruck. “That was wicked. Can you teach me how to do that?”

“Perhaps someday” Severus replied. “In the meantime, you’re rather dusty from being in that cupboard. Please go and wash your hands and you can help yourself to some biscuits from the cabinet while I see to your Godfather.”

“Alright” Teddy seemed reluctant to leave Harry in his current state, but a quick glare from Severus had him scampering off to the loo to wash up. With the child dealt with, Severus turned his attention to…the other child, who was still huddled in the corner. He’d drawn up his knees and had his arms wrapped around them, and from across the room, Severus could see that he was trembling.

“Potter?” Severus heard his knees give an ominous pop as he crouched beside the clearly terrified man.

“S-sir?” Enormous green eyes rose to meet his, and for a moment, he looked every inch the trembling child in Albus’ office after facing the Basilisk. Actually, Severus realized, he’d looked far less frightened then.

“What’s the matter?” Severus knew his voice sounded harsh, but the brat had alarmed him and interrupted his tea.

“It was just. Seeing Teddy there. It just shook me” Harry didn’t seem to want to elaborate on the few sentence fragments, leaving Severus every bit as mystified. Fortunately, he heard the woosh of the floo, and Draco had arrived.

“Harry!” Draco was instantly on the floor, his arms around the shaking man. “What’s happened?”

“Um.” Harry replied, his eyes seeming, impossibly, even wider than they had, and to Severus’ immense horror, they filled with tears, and Potter choked out a broken sob.

Draco crooned and held Harry tighter and he buried his face in Draco’s (likely expensive) jumper. Overwhelmed by too much raw emotion, and inexplicably envious of Draco’s ability to do the right thing in these situations, Severus withdrew from the scene, and busied himself with supervising young Mister Lupin. Theodore, for his part, seemed largely recovered from the events, and had a plate of chocolate biscuits in front of him as he placidly looked at a book. A half-full glass of milk sat in front of him, and the evidence that Teddy had poured it himself was spilling onto the floor. Severus banished the mess with a wave of his wand, and sat beside the child. “I see that you’ve managed to get yourself a snack?”

“Yeah. What happened there?”

“Uncle Draco has arrived and he’s taking care of Uncle Harry” Severus assured the boy, who, despite being removed from the situation, seemed concerned.

“Uncle Harry is funny sometimes” he said cryptically.

“Quite” was all that Severus could think of to reply. It turned out that the younger Lupin required very little in terms of responses to his conversation. Severus had pulled out a potions journal and was reading, with some indignation, an article suggesting that two of the twelve uses for Dragon’s blood were functionally the same, and Dumbledore had perhaps overstated his research. The child continued to sit quietly, volunteering some conversation from time to time, and Severus responded with “Mmm”, which seemed to be all that was needed to set him off again. Severus had just finished saying “Mm-hmm” absently, when the child gasped.

“Really Master Snape?”

Bollocks. Snape had no idea what he’d agreed to, but rather than admit this, he simply said “Of course”

“Tomorrow then? You’ll teach me to brew a potion tomorrow?”

Filthy, sodding hairy bollocks! “I suppose”

Draco bustled in, and dispatched Teddy into the sitting room with the Muggle television for a while, then sunk into a chair and put his head in his hands. “Fuck” he breathed.

“I assume that Potter is unharmed?”

“Merlin, Sev, you call that unharmed? No, Harry is not unharmed. He’s as broken as I’ve ever seen him. Funny though, this one isn’t about the war.”

“This one? Draco, what in Merlin’s name are you talking about?”

“Harry sometimes suffers from flashbacks. The Healers don’t really know what to do with him since he’s lost his magic, so we’ve been taking him to a Muggle doctor. She says that he has post-trauma…something. Anyhow, he gets flashbacks, usually about the war. Funny little things take him back to the final battle, or to when Sirius fell into the Veil. This time is was the cupboard.”

“It was a very strange reaction. He seemed terrified.”

“He was. Severus, I have to ask you something. You taught Harry Occlumency, right? Did you have any idea how he was being abused by his Muggle relatives?”

“At the time, I did not. In hindsight, I am aware that he likely showed many signs of being abused. However, the Dark Lord was sending him so many visions, that it was difficult to see what was real and what wasn’t.”

“So you didn’t know that they kept him in a cupboard?” Draco’s face was impassive, but his eyes were very grey, and Severus knew the man well enough to realize that he was barely holding his composure.

“A cupboard? What on earth do you mean?”

“Until Harry went to Hogwarts, he spent most of his time in a cupboard under the stairs. He said that his first Hogwarts letters were addressed that way. Sev, did you know? I know that you hated Harry-“

“I didn’t hate the boy” A filthy look from Draco had Severus qualifying “Alright, I suppose I acted as though I did, but I couldn’t very well coddle him like Minerva and Albus did.”

“I don’t think anyone was much coddling him. You didn’t answer the question, though. Severus, did you know?”

“I didn’t. I had no idea”

“Do you think Dumbledore did?”

“I don’t know, Draco. It’s possible. Albus, for all his good points, had a funny sort of loyalty. He was a master manipulator, and although I can’t bear to think he’d be that cruel…”

“I think he was exactly that cruel, Severus. After all, didn’t Dumbledore’s master plan require Harry to sacrifice his life?” Severus nodded. “Would it have made a difference, Severus? If you’d known what his home life was like? Would you have treated Harry differently?”

Severus sighed. “I don’t know, Draco. I wish that I could say that I would have, but as I look back on my past behaviour, I see that I may have been a little harsh with the boy”

“Well, that’s honest, at least. Will it change anything about how you treat him now?”

“Has he complained about my treatment of him?” Severus felt himself becoming indignant. How dare the ungrateful bastard go tattling to Draco?

“Not at all. He’s been saying that things are good. But you still see him as a foolish child, don’t you?”

“He is” Severus grumbled.

“No, Severus, he’s not.” Draco sighed. “And if you can’t see that, well, this isn’t going to work out. Perhaps I should relieve you of your debt early.”

Later, Severus would tell himself that it were visions of a lovely scrying bowl that stabbed his chest with alarm at the notion of leaving the cottage. But regardless of the reason, Severus found himself saying “The arrangement is acceptable as it is, Draco. And I will endeavour to look at Potter differently”

“Harry”

“Yes”

“No, I mean you can start by calling him Harry”

“Why should I? He calls me ‘sir’”

“Because he’s turning himself inside-fucking-out to try to please you. He feels so immeasurably guilty that you’re stuck here that he’d call you Salizar Slytherin himself if he thought it might make it better for you. He’s trying so hard, Severus. You could try too”

“Very well”

Unexpectedly, Draco grins. “Why don’t you practice?”

“Practice what?”

“Calling him Harry. I want to hear you say it”

“You’re mental”

“Say it”

Severus sighs “Harry”. The taste of Potter’s name on his lips furthers his sense of disquiet, but he remembers the scrying bowl, and emphatically does not remember the stripe of stomach he glimpsed underneath Potter’s…Harry’s t-shirt.

“Is he alright? Does he need a calming draught?”

Draco glares at him. “What use do you think a fucking potion will do him?” Severus raised his hands in apology. He’d forgotten. “He’s mostly alright. I’ve put him to bed. His Muggle healer gave me some tablets for him for when he has a bad day. They seem to mostly make him sleepy.”

“And the boy?”

“I can take Ted back with me, I suppose”

“Don’t bother” Severus says. “I was head of house for dozens of children at a time. I believe I can ensure I get one nine year old to bed.

Draco’s smile is approving. “Thanks Severus. And remember, call him Harry, try to see him differently”

Despite his earlier confidence, Severus is a little unsure as he leads Theodore into the kitchen. “What would you like to eat for dinner?”

“Pasta?”

“How about a cheese sandwich?”

The boy shrugs, and accepts the sandwich. As they’re eating, he looked up brightly. “Do you want to see something cool?”

Severus isn’t certain if his idea of cool will exactly line up with a child’s, but he nods anyway, just to make conversation. Theodore concentrates for a moment, and blinks, hard. His hair is instantly cerulean blue. The grin he levels at Severus is self-congratulatory, but charming.

“That is cool” Severus agrees. “Have you been able to do this long?”

Teddy nods. “Couple of years now. Only” he pauses thoughtfully for a moment. “I don’t do it in front of Uncle Harry. It seems like showing off, you know?”

“Perhaps” Severus says. “Does Uncle Harry seem sad that he’s not able to do magic?”

Theodore considers this. “Not really”

“And is he generally proud of all of the things that you do?” The child nods brightly. “Then I would say that he’d be delighted to see that you take after your mother”

“Did you know my mum?”

“I did, and your Father. I was in school with your father and I taught your Mother”

“Did you know that he was a…” Teddy breaks off and makes his hands into claws.

“Yes indeed. I brewed potions that helped your Father during the full moon.”

“Uncle Harry says that his friends called him Mooney. Did you call my dad Mooney?”

“No, we were in different houses.” Severus thinks for a moment about something he can tell this child about his Father. “Your Father was incredibly smart, you know. Best in our year, almost. Only Harry’s Mother was better”

“It’s weird that we ended up together, Uncle Harry and I. You know, he’s an orphan like me. He says that family is what you make it, not where you’re born”

“I think that’s true.” Severus agrees. “You have many people who love you and take care of you”

The child smiles at him shyly. “I’m glad that you’re in our family now, Master Snape”

Severus takes a long drink from his teacup to hide the blush that’s appeared on his cheeks.
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