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Second Chances	By : ShigeSato Category: Harry Potter Crossovers > Het - Male/Female Views: 2964 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters, settings or named spells/objects in the Harry Potter franchise. They are the intellectual property of JK Rowling and Warner Bros. I make no profit from this story.

Chapter List
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Dear Harry,
I hope you and Ron are well. It's been almost a month now, please, I really want to hear back from you. I'm worried.
I know you've probably been destroying my letters without reading them, so I'm going to repeat this every time until I get a reply. Malfoy is nothing to me. It's not like Ginny and Blaise, we're not together, we're not even really anything. He just comes up to me when he's drunk and…well, it's hard to explain, but it feels like I'm letting go of a pressure valve. It won't last forever, and I still think he's a loathsome person, but…I need this, right now, because I'm lonely, Harry. I'm lonely.
I love you both so much, and I hope you're safe. Please write back to me when you get the chance. Ginny wants me to send you her best wishes and says she hopes she'll see you at the Burrow at Christmas in a few weeks.
Love,
Hermione
She sighed as she sealed the envelope. It was the fifth letter she'd sent so far, and there was no indication of if the boys were even reading them. She didn't think so, based on the lack of response, but she had to keep trying, or it was akin to admitting that their friendship was over. She didn't want that to be the case. She had continued things with Malfoy, true, and they were meeting on a semi-regular basis now – but she shouldn't have to give up one aspect of her life for her friends, and they shouldn't be judging her for her actions either.
Hermione wished she could go to the Burrow for Christmas, to try and reconcile with them, but she couldn't this year. Not only did she not think she'd be very welcome, despite Ginny insisting otherwise, but she didn't want to leave the castle and be reminded that her parents weren't there. As long as she was inside Hogwarts, it was easier to forget, to bury herself in books and take solace in the rest and relaxation and forget about Christmas altogether. That was much easier than facing the truth.
She attached the envelope to the leg of one of the school owls and watched it fly off into the morning sunlight. Maybe this time they'd reply. Or maybe she'd continue to send fruitless apologies for months to come. She put her head in her hands, slowly walking away from the Owlery and aimlessly towards where she was meeting her friends for the Hogsmeade trip. Where had it gone this wrong?
She and Malfoy had become somewhat of a regular occurrence now. She didn't know how or why it had happened, and she almost laughed at the ridiculousness of it. They weren't even on first-name terms, and every word that came out of his mouth made her angry; but kissing him felt too good to resist, and his personality didn't matter when all she was interested in was his body. She never thought she would be the kind of person who could carry on an affair like this without even getting to know someone first, but on some level she thought Ginny was right. She was tense, and she needed this outlet as a way to detox her failed relationship with Ron from her system. She didn't care for Malfoy, and she was sure she would have the willpower to be able to stop what they were doing the moment she wanted to.
Since they'd found out what she was doing, the other Slytherins had changed their attitudes a little. Only Blaise was the same as he'd always been towards her, and she supposed that was because he understood pretty well what she was doing, having done it himself in the beginning with Ginny. Pansy had become scathing, probably out of jealousy. Goyle now avoided her completely and Millie was more aloof than she had been, although in an apologetic sort of way that made Hermione believe she had been put up to it by one of the others. Theo was the most disappointing, though. Theo had almost stopped talking to her completely, his friendly smiles and sparkling eyes replaced with brief nods and excuses to hurry away. She didn't know what she'd done, but she hoped to have a chance to talk to him about it, because even putting aside the crush she'd developed, he'd been one of her closer friends in Slytherin and she didn't want to lose that.
She arrived in the entrance hall and found Ginny, Neville, Blaise, Seamus and Luna standing together talking. The other Slytherins were nowhere to be seen. She walked up to them trying to appear cheery, huddling her scarf up around her chin as the cold wind blew through the open doors.
"Hello," she announced.
"Ah, good, Hermione's here," Neville said with a smile. "We're good to go, then."
"Aren't the rest of the Slytherins joining us?" Hermione asked. "I thought we were all going to the Hog's Head for a drink."
"They went ahead," Blaise explained. "We stayed back to wait for you."
"Oh," Hermione was glad they'd waited. "Thanks, guys." Even in the worst case scenario, she knew she would never be completely alone, and that ignited a warm and happy little flame inside her.
The short walk to Hogsmeade was punctuated by occasional conversation and complaints about the harshness of the weather. Hermione needed to do the majority of her Christmas shopping today, so she spent most of the walk going over the people she still needed to buy for in her head. Harry, Ron, Ginny, Molly and Arthur, George, Blaise, Theo, Neville. After they'd had a couple of drinks, she planned to head out alone and shop for everyone at once, so she could wrap it all up tonight. She already had an idea of what to get the Weasleys and Harry, but shopping for Neville and the Slytherins would be a little harder.
They arrived at the Hog's Head and let themselves in, pulling off their scarves and jackets in relief as they entered the warm interior of the pub. Theo, Goyle, Pansy, Millie and Malfoy had a table over at the back, and Hermione still found it odd that instead of avoiding them as they would have done in the past, she and her friends actively pulled up chairs to join them.
"About time you got here," Pansy announced, "we're on our third round already."
"We've got some catching up to do, then," Blaise replied, and went up to the bar to order. Ginny settled down comfortably and Hermione sat next to her, very aware that Malfoy wasn't meeting her eyes and Theo was pointedly looking at the table.
"How was the walk?" Millie asked uncertainly, trying to spark up conversation.
"Nothing eventful. It's bloody cold out there, though," Ginny replied, hugging her shoulders. "I'm really glad we've suspended Quidditch practice for a while."
"Maybe Gryffindor has," Malfoy said snidely. "Slytherin are toughing it out. We were on the pitch this morning."
"Ugh, in this weather?" Ginny questioned. She was trying to be nicer to Malfoy, difficult as it was, now that he seemed to be a permanent fixture in their lives. "Well, thankfully we're not playing you until the summer, so I won't have to worry for a while! Who's your next fixture? Ravenclaw?"
"Nah, we have Hufflepuff in January," Malfoy replied, looking as if he was interested in the conversation despite himself. Hermione noted that the only thing he'd ever been really serious about in school was Quidditch. Maybe this was the way to get him to defrost.
"Oh! Want me to give you some tips?" Ginny asked excitedly. She was always keen to talk Quidditch. "Their new Chaser has this particular way of flying, she lists slightly to the left, so you can-"
Hermione tuned out as Blaise returned with their drinks and heartily joined in the discussion. She really didn't understand the Quidditch fascination. She looked around the table and saw everyone was in their own conversations except for Theo. She moved closer to him and he started.
"Sorry, Hermione, I didn't see you there, you made me jump," he said.
"Sorry," she replied. "I haven't spoken to you in a while so I thought I'd come and say hello. Are you doing alright?"
"Same as usual," Theo replied evasively. "Professor Sinistra is going to have to cut my Ancient Runes lessons coming up to Easter, apparently, because she won't have the time to teach extra credit in the run-up to NEWTs. Since I'm not taking the exam she can't promise me she'll keep the lessons up. It's a shame, I was really enjoying the subject."
"Is there really no way you could join the main group?" Hermione asked earnestly. "You have so many good ideas about the material, it would be a shame if you didn't get to finish the course."
"Well, if I gave up all my free periods and swapped my classes around then it's possible," mused Theo, "but then I'd have to take the NEWT and I don't know if I'm ready for that."
"You definitely could," Hermione encouraged. "It'd be tough, but I'd help you, if you really wanted to keep taking the class. You're such a good study partner, it'd be a pleasure to do assignments together."
Theo looked at her strangely, and she thought she could almost see a hint of a blush on his pale cheeks. He pulled at his hair and then ran his hand through it, in the way he always did when he was thinking hard. "I've never met anyone like you. Nobody ever tells me I'm capable of anything."
Hermione shrugged. "I like to encourage people to be the best they can be, especially academically. Harry has so much potential that he wasted by not concentrating. You're very intelligent, you have the capacity and the will to learn, so why shouldn't you be capable?"
Theo smiled into his drink. "Well, I'll think about it. Maybe it'd be a good idea to get an extra NEWT."
Hermione grinned at him. He was behaving almost normally. It was really nice to be able to talk to her friend again. "Have you done all your Christmas shopping yet, then?" she asked teasingly.
"I don't generally do any," he responded. "I'll be staying in the castle this year, so I probably won't have much to celebrate, anyway."
"You don't want to go home?" Hermione asked inquisitively.
Theo shrugged, his face sad. "No parents left anymore. Nott Manor is just a big empty house that has too many bad memories in it. I might as well be in a big empty castle with a few less. What about you? You going back to your parents?"
Hermione struggled to hold back the tidal wave of emotion that threatened to overwhelm her and simply smiled and shook her head. "No. Not this year. Normally I'd go to the Weasleys', but this year I'm going to stay at Hogwarts. It feels like the safest place, you know?"
Theo nodded. "I know. Well, at least we won't both be alone on Christmas Day."
Hermione grinned. "We'll have to build a snowman."
"A snowman?" Theo said, incredulous. "You know how cold snow is, right? Why would you go out in it voluntarily?"
"For fun," Hermione prodded his arm. "I'll go, and I'll get you to come with me."
"Good luck trying," Theo said with a smirk, and prodded her in return, tickling her. She laughed and moved away from his touch, expecting him to continue, but he didn't. Her laughter died down, and she noticed him glancing at Malfoy, who was back to sulking in the corner, glaring at everyone.
"Is he always like this?" Hermione asked Theo quietly, gesturing at the blond.
Theo sighed. "He's complicated. None of us like to push him too much because he's been through a lot, arguably more so than the rest of us. I just…don't want to upset him, that's all. He's my friend, and Slytherins need to stick together."
"Upset him?" Hermione quizzed. "I can't imagine that anything upsets Malfoy much. He always seemed to just be able to shrug things off without much trouble. Unless he was making a fuss on purpose."
"You'd be surprised," Theo sighed. "What Draco feels and what Draco does are generally two very separate things, and if you don't know him well it's hard to tell what he's really thinking. Then again," he added with a smile, "you've been getting to know him a lot better, I hear."
"I wouldn't say that," Hermione replied exasperatedly. "It's like…animal magnetism, or something. I don't really know. We don't talk, or hang out, or even like each other very much. It's all just a release of tension, I guess."
Theo looked troubled. "That doesn't sound very Hermione-like."
"Until this year, it wasn't," she affirmed. "I don't even know how it started, really. Just all of a sudden it did, and now we're here."
"Be careful," Theo warned her, his dark eyes serious. "Draco's complex. He'll say one thing and mean another, and like I said before, he really liked you for a long time. Make sure you don't get in over your head – I don't want to see either of you get hurt."
"Thanks, Theo," Hermione said with a kind smile. "I really appreciate you looking out for us. I'll be careful, I promise. I don't even know how long I want this to go on, anyway; it's beginning to feel, well, not very Hermione-like, to put it in your words. And it's caused problems with Ron and Harry."
Theo put a hand on her arm. His hands were large and soft, with perfectly manicured nails. "They'll come around, if they're your friends. And you have us now, as well. Whatever Pansy says, I know Blaise, Millie and even Greg are fond of you guys – and you know I'm never judging. I've got your back."
Hermione could remember back in first-year, when Ron was spouting off about the Slytherins on the very first night they'd been Sorted. Someone mentioned them, and Ron had proclaimed to everyone to never trust what a Slytherin said, because they'd find a way to stab you in the back later. Looking now at Theo's open, smiling face and thinking about Ron's misplaced fury with her, Hermione couldn't help but think of the irony. She put her hand over Theo's, her warm skin touching his, not even realizing how intimate the gesture was until she'd made it.
"You know I've got yours, too," she said, and Theo's warm smile melted her.
"Hey, you two," Ginny interrupted their moment. "Goyle and Seamus are having an arm-wrestling match, you really do not want to miss this."
"Ten Sickles on Greg," called out Theo, as they turned their attention to the group. Hermione felt Malfoy's hard stare on her for the rest of the time they were at the table but refused to engage with him. She wasn't interested – today, her thoughts were occupied entirely by someone else.
Later that afternoon, as she finished picking up the last of her Christmas presents, she fondled the package she'd bought for Theo with a smile. She'd spent a long time picking it out for him, and she really hoped he would like it. Every time she was near him, her heart started beating madly, and she found herself hanging on to his every word. She admired his clothes and the way his hair fell; the cologne he wore smelled amazing; and above all, she'd never felt so comfortable with anyone else in the world before, except maybe Harry.
She came to the realization, while walking back up to the castle with Blaise and Ginny, that she really did like him. A lot. It wasn't just some passing crush. He was intelligent, and kind, and he liked her for her. Her heart swelled three sizes whenever he was around, and she would love to know what it was like to kiss him…
She hadn't thought about anyone this way since Ron in sixth year.
As she wrapped up Theo's package and wrote his name on it, she came to a resolution. By Christmas, she'd sort out her life. Now she knew that she really wanted something to happen with Theo. She didn't know if he even liked her, or if he'd be interested, but one thing was for sure; if she wanted any kind of proper relationship with him, this thing with Malfoy had to stop. Priority one.
Happy with her organized thoughts, she drifted off into a peaceful sleep.
The next morning, the last Sunday before everyone went home for the holidays, Hermione got up early and with a purpose. She put on her most confident clothes and practiced her stern face in the mirror, determined that this time it would be over for good. After a quick breakfast she headed straight to the Slytherin common room. It was only when she arrived that she realized she didn't know the password, and she'd need to wait for someone to come out so she could ask for Malfoy. Not for the first time, she cursed both wizards' inability to understand mobile phones and their uselessness within the walls of the castle. She really could have used one right now.
Before long, she heard someone coming, and prepared to stop them. Then, she saw it was Theo, and for some reason she found herself hiding away, her back behind a column, trying not to be seen. Why was she concealing herself? He was her friend, he would fetch Malfoy for her. The answer, of course, was that he was the entire reason she was here, but she didn't know how he felt about her, and she didn't want to make anything weird between them, should he find out that she was calling things to a halt with Malfoy for his sake.
After a moment, though, she was glad she'd hidden. Theo emerged from the doorway swiftly followed by Malfoy, and they seemed to be having an argument. She felt terribly guilty for listening in, but there was no way now to announce her presence without it being exceedingly awkward, and she couldn't leave without them noticing either. She would have to wait it out and pray nobody saw her.
Theo folded his arms and glared at Malfoy. "Now we've been kicked out of the common room. I swear, Draco, sometimes you can be the absolute worst."
Malfoy looked thunderous. "Shut the fuck up, Theo. This is your fault to begin with."
"My fault?!" Theo said as though the concept was preposterous. "Draco, you are absolutely unbelievable. Why you can't just admit that you like her is completely beyond me."
Hermione froze and almost stopped breathing. Now she definitely didn't want to be caught.
"You don't understand, Theo," Malfoy was shaking his head. "She won't – she isn't going to just accept that and carry on. Things aren't like that between us, they've never been, and there's too much history."
"So what, then?" Theo asked, hands on his hips. "Are you just going to keep snogging her in random corridors and at parties forever? 'Cause I don't think Hermione is the kind of person who wants that."
"How would you know anything about her?" Malfoy spat cruelly. "I know her better than anyone, even that idiot Weasley."
"Do you?" Theo questioned, looking straight into the other man's eyes. "Do you know what she likes to eat, where she goes when she wants to be alone, her favourite colour, the name of her pet, her middle name? Do you actually know anything real about her at all? Because from my perspective, and from all of ours, actually, it seems like you're treating her like a toy, not like a human."
Hermione blanched. This almost rang of the conversation she'd had with Ginny some weeks ago about Blaise. Except she had been the one in Theo's position, worried for her friend who seemed to be in an unhealthy relationship. Now she understood what Ginny and Blaise had been building towards, but was that even possible, with someone like Malfoy? With her, and Malfoy? She was inclined to believe not.
"Oh, fuck off Theo with your pathetic crush," Malfoy said flippantly. "It's creepy how much you know about her. Just because I have her and you don't, you never could. Why would she even look at you when she could have me?"
Tears appeared at the edge of Theo's eyes, and his jaw twitched. "Don't you fucking dare, Draco. Just don't."
Malfoy didn't stop. He'd scented blood and was going for the kill. "Just keep on watching from the shadows, Theo. That's all you'll ever be good for, because let's be honest, all you've ever been is a less rich, less handsome, less interesting version of me. You could never fuck this up for me, I don't know why I was even worried for a moment."
The tears were now freely falling down Theo's cheeks and he angrily wiped them away. "You and I both know you're full of shit, Draco," he said, his voice hoarse, "but that might have just been the cruelest thing you've ever said in your life. Fucking think about the kind of man you want to be, and the kind of man she deserves. If I have to watch you together, at least try and be worth it."
Malfoy had the good sense to look at least a little ashamed of himself. "It doesn't change the facts. She's mine, so back off her, because I don't want your pathetic crush getting in the way of my-"
"Your what?" Theo asked, angry again. "Your pathetic crush, so pathetic that you can't even tell her how you feel when you're busy snogging her? You might think I'm just a shadow of you, Draco, and maybe in some ways that's true. At least I'd have the balls to actually fucking try, instead of carrying on with whatever pantomime you're convincing yourself is real."
"I was there first!" Malfoy yelled angrily. "I've liked her since first year, you only noticed her after the Yule Ball when all those other idiots saw her too. I deserve this, I deserve her, and don't you fucking dare try to tell me I don't."
"You'll deserve her when you fucking man up and tell her you want her for real," Theo said resolutely, "but until then you're as much of a coward as you've always been, Draco. I'll stay away, because you've asked – well, told – me to. But if Hermione comes to me, upset about whatever shitfest of a relationship you're forcing her through, I'm going to damn well be there for her, because she's my friend, and her friendship means just as much to me as yours."
Theo abruptly turned and left, ducking back inside the common room and abandoning a seething Malfoy in the corridor. His hands were balled into fists, he was white and shaking, and Hermione was actually, for the first time in her life, scared of him. He took a deep breath and stalked off into the distance, and finally she was alone and could breathe again.
There would be no talking to Malfoy today. Even if she hadn't witnessed that, he was clearly in no mood to be told she wanted out, and she didn't fancy trying his rage. She scuttled back along the corridor and out of the danger zone, then slowly began to walk back to Gryffindor Tower, trying to organize her thoughts about everything she'd just learned.
Malfoy liked her. Well, she'd known as much from Theo, but she hadn't really believed it until she saw Malfoy failing to deny it, standing there arguing with his friend as if he actually cared. It was difficult to comprehend, but he said he'd liked her since first year. That boggled her mind.
Theo liked her. Theo liked her! That made her heart jump in her chest. She couldn't believe it. It sounded like he'd liked her for quite a while, as well – Circe, why had she gone with Malfoy of all people? This was only complicated because of her, but she was quite clear now on what she wanted, so it was up to her to untangle it – if Theo would have her, of course. After she'd been with his friend, he may not. That thought made her want to cry, because of course it had been Theo she liked, it was always Theo.
Malfoy had told Theo to stay away from her. She didn't like that part at all. Not only because it wasn't Malfoy's right to limit her personal freedoms – they weren't even going out, for Merlin's sake – but because Theo was her rock, her close friend and the one person she wanted to see every day. How dare Malfoy take it upon himself to try to stop them talking, just because he was (rightfully) afraid of losing her? If he did, it would be because of his insincerity and his rudeness and his just terrible way of handling everything, not because of her liking Theo.
She arrived back at her dormitory and threw herself onto her bed. Today had definitely not gone the way she wanted.
She didn't see Malfoy for the rest of the week before everyone departed, and on the one hand, she was very glad of it. Maybe he was losing interest – she could dream. Frustratingly, though, she hadn't even had a chance to indicate to him that she wanted things to end. She felt trapped by her own morals, and although she wasn't with Malfoy, she had to concede that she should by rights tell him about Theo before she did anything.
She'd have to wait until after Christmas now, and that meant delaying telling Theo how she felt about him. From the way it sounded, though, he'd liked her since fourth year, so she hoped that he could hold on a little longer. Wait for me, Theo. You have no idea how much I want you.
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Second Chances