Adult-FanFiction.org : Harry Potter

It Wouldn't Even Matter	By : Eloise Downbadde Category: Harry Potter > Het - Male/Female > Draco/Hermione Views: 2078 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters - i just referenced the books from a different perspective

Chapter List
- 4
- 5
- 6
This is a very slow going story, considering I'm writing two others that I update once a week. So this might be every two weeks I give an update but - it means more words in each chapter. I'm loving this so much, trying to keep in canon as well as I can is a fun challenge. Hope you all like it too :)
Alexa, play Heroin by Badflower

Chapter 5
Her Shiver

All the classes are short and fun. Even the teachers were excited to celebrate and relax, even if it was in the middle of the week. He wondered if the teachers would make hangover potions en masse for their staff parties. He knows Snape would indulge in alcohol on his own but rarely in a group setting. He can't say he blames him. He's nothing like Slughorn; throwing a party for students and his various friends with power and prestige. Draco wonders what they do to allow his party guests to enter past the wards and into Hogwarts grounds. He wonders if they all need an individual escort or if there is something that allows them through. It irritates him he doesn't know.
Draco sat in the common room, twirling his family ring on his finger, feeling anxious. Someone had charmed the fire in the fireplace to change colors and he had been sitting in silence for so long he knew it changed every 3 minutes between purple, orange and lime green.
It was on the 28th change by his count when someone sat beside him. He ignored their presence until they cleared their throat. "Feeling okay, Draco?" Pansy was good at sounding like she didn't care. At some point, she did care for him but it took her knowing him better to realize he didn't care for her the same way. She kept him at arm's length now but even someone not paying close attention could see he wasn't doing well.
"Alive, day by day. I'm guessing you've heard my secret by now. So, have at it." He braced himself, prepared for the horrible snark Pansy surely had built up for him and his traitorous heart. Instead, she put her hand on his knee and let out a very loud sigh.
"Draco, what's going on? You look awful."
"That's what you want to talk about? How I look?" Draco spun his ring on his finger again.
"Yes, I'm worried about you." She looked around the common room, cautious of any eavesdropping. Truth be told, he would rather talk about Granger than why he couldn't manage to keep food down. He told her as much and she pinched the bridge of her nose, hinting to him that, maybe, she didn't know his secret yet. "At least let me help you 'look' okay for tonight. Actually, hold on a moment."
He watched her stride upstairs and tried to imagine he didn't look as bad as she was saying but he knew he did. He noticed a bigger group of students climbing through the portrait; dinner must nearly be over. He needed to meet with Crabbe and Goyle soon. Pansy came back downstairs with three potions she put next to him. She summoned a glass of water and popped the cork on the first one.
"I'm not taking no for an answer. Take these. One is a food supplement and highly illegal so you didn't get it from me. This one should help the fact that you look grey and sickly. It's only going to last for a few days but I can get you more. The third is going to make you feel better, it's something I've modified from a pepper up potion; also illegal. You want to tell me why you're like this?" He took the first potion and felt warmth through his body. The second filled the pit in his stomach that was gnawing constantly but he had learned to ignore.
"Not anything you would want to know. I've got to meet the boys soon." He fiddled with the third vial and glanced at her.
She grabbed his hand and made him look at her. "Dammit, I'm not going to let you kill yourself because you're incapable of asking for help. What's going on??" She cast a muffling charm around the couch they were on and glared. He pressed his lips together tightly and she grabbed his earlobe, tugging angrily. "TALK, Malfoy!"
"Oww! You psychopath! Let me go!" He shoved her off him and huffed, rubbing his sore ear. "I'll let you take care of me but I can't let you put yourself in danger." She tucked hair behind her ear and didn't flinch which he knew meant that she had latched down and would not let go.
"I'm not scared. Not for myself."
He rolled his jaw for a moment, glancing at her determined face. He poked his magic at the charm she had cast to feel its strength and then groaned a little bit. "Pansy. I'm supposed to fix a transporter to bring the Death Eaters into the school. I don't know how to get through the wards that stop apperating into the school grounds."
Pansy kept her poker face but he could tell she was still shook by the task. "Is that why you've been in the library so often? With Granger?" He gave her a wry smile and she puffed her cheeks out. "Well, it made more sense than you being in love with her."
Draco blanched but covered his mouth quickly by drinking the last potion. She twitched her eyebrow lightly at him, her lips pulling up slightly. "Yes, I've heard what the lads said about you and her. I know it's all bullocks but a wise move to get her to help."
"Brightest witch of our age and all." Draco waved his hand dismissively, breaking the silencing charm as Crabbe came through the portrait and made eye contact with him. "Excuse me, Pans. I'll see you at the do?" She smiled, sugar sweet at him and he left to follow Vincent up to the dorm room.
"Where's Goyle?" He asked as he locked and cast another silencing charm to keep their conversation private. It was a futile cast of a spell though as Crabbe said.
"He can't come. He's eaten too many sweeties and is heaving them up in the infirmary."
Draco groaned and knocked his head against the nearest bedpost. "Fine. Tomorrow then. Make sure he's here, even if his face is green, I don't care." Crabbe nodded and Draco snatched up his toiletries caddy and went to shower and clean up. If he was going to this wretched party instead of working in the Room, he might as well put Pansy's potions to good use and look good. The possible attendance of someone else had nothing to do with it.
He got downstairs to see Blaise snickering as Theo put a tail onto first himself and then Blaise's rear. Draco pressed his lips into a stiff line to stop himself from laughing as the olive skinned boy chased his tail and Theo beamed over at his friend. Blaise had a small nose and whiskers painted on his face, pointed cat ears came from his head and the tail he grabbed was fluffed with fur at the end. Theo had a large nose and crude red tongue from the side of his mouth drawn on his face, floppy ears on his head and his tail was forked.
"Pretty sure Theo should be the cat here, lads." Draco drawled, rolling the sleeves of his shirt up to be more casual and comfortable.
"We both know he's more of a dog. Besides," Blaise opened his arms and spun to show off his costume. "He's a crup. I'm the kneasle." There was pride in his voice and Draco was pleased to see them happy.
Theo dug into his pocket and pulled out a tall bottle with dark amber colour of fire whiskey. "Where's your costume, Draco?" He summoned over three glasses and pulled the top off, pouring them each a drink. They took them from the air and Draco shrugged.
"Didn't feel up to looking like a tosser." He clinked his glass against the other twos and they all tossed it back. He loved the stinging burn as it went down, it helped the irritation in his belly from the potions Pansy had given him.
"Buzzy buzzkill." Blaise scolded "We might need to ply you with drinks to make you fun."
"We could make the whole night more fun with a slip of the wrist." Theo winked at Blaise and they both laughed heartily together.
"Terrible idea, Nott." Draco scowled and nudged the two of them toward the portrait hole. "It's a waste of good alcohol to give to our dull classmates."
They arrived in short time, laughing together and avoiding the groups of students bunched in the entry way. The Great Hall wasn't too different from earlier, aside from the absences of the tables and stations of drinks and snacks running the length of the room every few meters. The walls were covered with floor to ceiling black curtains to draw a dark atmosphere. There was a couple dozen of high top tables scattered around a cleared out spot on the floor that some students were dancing on, cheering at every change of song.
They all split up to wander the floor after topping up their drinks, making note of who was there and who seemed to be engaging in the dress up of the holiday. Draco regrouped with them to refill his glass and cautiously slipped away, not wanting to talk to anyone more than he had to. The combination of alcohol and the pepper-up potion made him feel chatty and he decided the best course of action was brooding alone.
He kept nursing his drink from behind one of the drinks table, glad he had thwarted Theo and Blaise's plan to spike the bowl of fizzy pumpkin juice. He kept his eyes low on his own shoes, the light from the fireplace next to him heating him up more than he was comfortable with. He was planning on leaving after he finished this glass; he made his appearance, he could leave. As his luck seemed to turn in the ways he didn't want it to, he heard a familiar squeak and glanced up to see Granger. Of course it was Granger.

Her hair a mess, the little witch hat on her head falling to the floor and making her little squeaky sound as she crouched and crawled out from under the drinks table. He stifled a laugh at how ridiculous she looked puffing out her cheeks and replacing her hat. He didn't stifle it enough since she heard him and looked up to meet his eyes, her face instantly relieved as she stood and peeked behind her over the table.
"Bullocks," She muttered, the relief disappearing in a split second and took quick steps toward him, yanking him forward so she could slip behind him between the wall and his back. He tried to look as casual as possible at the awkward event and glance around the room, trying to find what would cause her to act like she was a demiguise trying to not be found.
He tilted his drink, letting the ice clink around and spoke into the lip, "Problems, Granger?"
Her muffled voice answered and he felt her little palms against the back of his shirt. "No. No problem. Don't move, please."
"You're so polite when you want something from me." His eye finally caught the bloke from the library the night before. McLaggen, a head taller than most in the room, was scanning the crowd. He briefly landed on Draco but continued his sweeping gaze. Draco snorted: he clearly didn't think Granger, who is of course who he was looking for, would willingly be with him in open congress. Poor sod.
When he had moved on through the crowd and out of sight, Draco pressed his lips together tightly to not laugh when he turned around to face her. Her eyes had been closed so tight but they flew open when he turned to look down at her. "Avoiding problems instead of facing them head on? And I thought you were a Gryffindor." he tutted at her and she stuck her tongue out at him.
"Cormac's a sodding Gryffindor, too. I swear he has four hands, each of which needs its own pound of flesh to grope." She made a disgusted face and he bit back the anger for laughter. She softened a bit, a smile thanking him.

"Not all of us can be gentlemen but he's making me look good. Where are your usual bodyguards?"
She sighed, "Harry is who knows where. He's been sulking after Dean and Ginny all week and Ron is with Lavender and his new fan club. I'd rather take my chances with McLaggen, honestly." She straightened her hat.
He hummed a response, fighting the urge to lean his arm against the wall behind her to be closer to her. To be able to have a more intimate conversation but he figured she was being polite and still wasn't quite over him being a prat the night before. "You think you're safer with me?"
"Despite you sneaking fire whiskey? Yes, I think I am." She made a pointed look at his glass and he shifted it to offer to her. She shriveled her nose and shook her head. "Ick, No thank you."
He took a sip and made a point to lick his lips, the slow burning feeling good in his throat. He pointed with the glass in his hand, his finger drawing from her head to toe. "What are you, a witch?" Her large pointy hat and simple black dress a complete stereotype but he didn't mind.
"And you're...a wizard?" she snapped her fingers like she had to think about the answer and he chortled into his drink. He shrugged casually as she looked him up and down.
"Forgot a costume. It really snuck up on me this year." He had put on his dark slacks and black button down, going for a casual and relaxed look instead of a silly outfit.
"Shame. This hat would be brilliant on you." She lifted it up to check it was still standing up and pointy before settling it back on her head. He doubted she realized the hat made it incredibly easy to find her from across the hall and he shook his head.
He glanced behind him and scanned the room, looking for Theo. "Well, if you're not interested in fire whiskey but are still interested in some underage drinking, I think I can help you there. What do you say?"
She crossed her arms, "Depends on the conditions." Her eyes went wide suddenly as she looked past him and she shrank, trying to be invisible again. He popped the hat off her head and turned to lean his shoulder into the pillar of the fireplace wall, hiding her behind his body and the thick black curtains that surrounded the room. With a flick, he sent her hat clear across the room to land lightly on the head of another student with long brown hair.
McLaggen made another round past him and when he met Draco's eyes, this time he actually spoke. "Seen Granger around?" His voice had a lilt of spite and Draco shrugged.
"Witch hat on her?" He mimed a tall object on his head and McLaggen nodded. "Isn't that her leaving?" He pointed way over at the Great Hall doors as the girl with Granger's costume hat slipped through them and he heard her snort behind him as the fool scurried away, calling after her.
"Bravo, Malfoy. A regular Slytherin move." He smirked and stuck his nose in the air in pride.
"Thank you. Care to join me in my Slytherin ways? Rules don't break themselves, as you know." He flicked an eyebrow up and back in what he felt was a stellar flirt. It must have been because she turned a little red and nibbled her lower lip.
"As long as it isn't fire whiskey."
"Of course not. Stay here a moment. If I'm not back in one minute," he looked serious for a moment, drawing out the drama of his sentence. "Then just keep waiting." He couldn't stop the cheeky flash of a smile before he snatched up a cup from the table she had hidden under and crossed the room. He easily slipped through the crowd of dancing classmates and the gossiping groups of 5th years, practically liquid as he had learned to navigate through the many do's his mother threw yearly.
"Nott!" He called out, getting the boy's attention who had his face buried in Blaise's chest laughing hard with the Italian, tears in the corner of his eyes. When he lifted his head and tilted it to the side, Blaise's face turned a little more flushed and he took an obvious step back. Draco didn't care if it was camaraderie or flirtation and he really didn't care. He was on a mission. "I need a glass of that elf wine."
"Ooh," Theo rustled about in his jacket pockets, searching for the bottle in what must have been expanded pocket space. "Is it for a mate? Because I told you, I'm only keeping my mates happy tonight."
"Just get the bottle, Theo. She doesn't like fire whiskey."
Theo stilled his search. "She? She!! Blaise, mate, who could SHE be?!" he let out a bubbly laugh and Blaise smiled, shaking his head.
"Give him the wine, you wanker." Draco gave Blaise a grateful look and took the bottle Theo pulled out. The lads crowded around to hide themselves while Draco poured first his glass and then the cup to the top and took a small sip himself.
"Merlin, that's good. Thanks, lads! See you!" Draco stepped away and headed back to Granger, letting the kissie and leering sounds of his friends be drowned in the next loud song thumping through the speakers.

He returned to find her still trying to be invisible in the wall curtain's and covered his face to stop a laugh, trying to appear that he was examining his drinking glass. "Still need a human shield?" She shook her head, her face looking relaxed and pleased to see him. He didn't try to decipher that.
She carefully took the cup he offered her and sniffed it before trying it. "I promise, it's only a little poisoned," She shot a glare at him and he finished his joke. "For flavour...?" baring his teeth in a wince, an apology for the joke not landing. "Joking. Obviously." He tried to save face by rolling his eyes but she took a sip anyway.
"Wow. What is this?"
He felt a little pompous as he said, "Great, isn't it? It's elf wine. Bet you'll never have one this nice again."
She hummed back instead of rising to the bait. He leaned against the wall with her, both blending into the background as their classmates enjoyed the party. He noticed a few people she should be with instead of him but wasn't about to point that out. He found the shock of red hair on Weasley with some blonde on the dance floor and cast a glance at her from the side of his eye.
He noticed she huffed and took a big drink of her cup before looking at him. "So, what other rule breaking did you have in mind for tonight." He literally bit his tongue to stop from telling her he was planning on calling it a night before she graced him with her presence. He couldn't spoil this gift of Granger's full attention.
"If you're feeling a certain type of way, Granger." He lifted off the wall, drained his glass and set it on the table before he grabbed her hand, "Come along, then." He swiftly pulled her deeper into the Great Hall and passed the staff tables to pull at the little door in the far side, where teachers came and went instead of taking the long way from the main doors. He pulled his wand, whispered a quick unlocking charm and pulled her behind him.

It was a small room with a staircase that spiraled down into the main corridors and he saw her shrinking again, no doubt being afraid in such a small space with him with uncertain intentions. He felt along the wall until he found the seam he was searching for and with an "ah-ha!", pushed it open. She relaxed instantly.
"Didn't know this was here, did you?" He flashed her a smile and held the door, letting her step out into the whipping wind of the walkway around the Great Hall. When the wall clicked back into place, he took her hand once more, giving himself a moment to pretend she felt excited with the action and led her around the corner, throwing up a shield charm to stop the wind coming from the lake hitting them at full gust. He stopped at the railing and with a few more muttered words, cast a warming charm on her, the little witch dress in no way enough to keep her from freezing. And he wasn't about to be presumptive and offer to warm her with his body.
She turned to look through the glass windows of the Great Hall behind her, the party still bustling inside but clueless to them just outside. She took another drink from her cup and twisted it around her hands in a shy way that made him melt. "It's pretty out here." She placed her arms on the railing, the Black Lake a huge black void beyond the castle and its twinkling warm lights.

Draco shrugged nonchalantly, "Some students come out here for a break from all the noise of the parties and feasts. Some like the cool, some smoke a ciggy, it's just nice to me. I don't get a lot of quiet around the castle lately." He moved next to her, leaning his forearms onto the stone rails as well and taking a deep, calming breath. He tried to be mindful that his heart was beating way faster than normal and he wished it had been from dancing.
She let out a laughing sigh, "This elf wine is wonderful. I've barely a glass and it's got me feeling quite lovely."
"Has it? Are you telling me that Hermione Granger is tiddly? Scandalous!" He put a hand on his chest in mock shock. She nudged him with her shoulder, snickering. "Does that mean you'll answer any sordid questions I ask?"
She raised her eyebrow at him, a smirk to rival his on her pretty little lips. "Depends on the question, I suppose. What've you got?"
Draco leaned forward as she took another big swig of her drink. He lowered to her eyeline and saw her nip her bottom lip for a fleeting moment, a habit of nerves but she seemed to realize it had pulled his focus and stopped herself.
"I'm dying to know..." He drew out the question, enjoying the anxious look on her face. "What you prefer." He took the cup from her hands and took a small sip. "To drink at meals." He straightened and took one more pull from the cup, looking out at the lake again and trying to not smile or laugh at her floundering for words. "Pumpkin Juice? Coffee? Only curious." He ran his tongue over his canines in a quirky smile.

Her laugh seemed a touch manic. "Godric, I did not expect that! Not from you," her crooked grin told him she was relieved he hadn't asked something more personal. "I don't know, Orange or Apple Juice. Black tea in the mornings and Jasmine tea in the evenings."
"That's interesting. Good to know." The wind blew a big burst that sent her hair all over the place and she, exasperated, shoved it back out of her face, scowling. To poke fun, he brushed his short wisps back from his forehead and bobbed his eyebrows up. "Do you ever think of cutting it?" He reached over to tug a long strand that had got flung into the opposite side of her usual hair part back into place.
She chortles, a small snort he felt blessed to hear, it was incredibly cute. "Sometimes. It's quite a mess but it feels like part of me." She paused and he could see her mind processing quickly. "I mean, of course it is a part of me but- you know what I mean."
He smiled slightly, holding her drink out to her again, "I do." She took it and put her elbow back on the railing and her chin into her palm. He imagines she's thinking how comfortable it is to be like this with him but in less than five minutes, she shifts her feet and he feels it. He feels her uncertainty before she even speaks.

"Malfoy?" He braced himself for something prying. Instead she was quiet for a long while, moving between glancing at him and the cup in her hands. After several moments, she drained the rest and vanished the container. "Thank you for the drink. And for saving me from being accosted."
He waved a dismissive hand at her before putting his hands into his pockets. The moon was absolutely gorgeous tonight and he spent all his willpower focusing on it instead of her. They stood in silence for a while longer until he felt her shift again and a small gasp came from her.
Startled, he looked at her. Her hands were over her mouth, her eyes wide and she was staring at him. At his arm. His dark mark. He fumbled for his sleeves, yanking them down forcefully, his glamour charm had faded. He felt the bitter creep in when he spoke. "Don't act so surprised. You already knew it was there." He returned to his aloof slouch, expecting her to step back again and turn to flee. It's one thing to talk about it being there but always different to see it with your own eyes. He never wanted to revisit how it felt to have it put there.
"Draco," she breathed but with the wind he barely heard her until the last syllable. That was not the tone he liked her saying his name in. He dropped his head down, letting his shoulders sag, preparing for more self righteous nonsense. "Why did you let Him do that?"

"There is no 'letting' in His world, Granger. It happened and there's no going back." He just wanted one nice memory with her where they didn't end up arguing. Sure, he could always lie to her; feed her pretty sentiments and words to paint himself better. But he felt he owed her honesty after all the pain he had caused and future pain he undoubtedly would inflict.
"There is always a choice." He scoffed and laughed bitterly at her.
"Easy for you to say. As I said last night, I'm just waiting for the end." He leaned further over the railing and let the wind ruffle his hair and the cold sting his cheeks. His shield charm had dropped, he had run out of energy to keep the focus of the spell going.

Several heartbeats passed where she didn't run or say anything. He was afraid to turn back and see the space she was occupying empty so when he felt the warmth of her on his arm, her hand pulling at his bicep to turn him, he fought turning to look at her. She didn't seem to understand how lost of a cause he really was.
"What's He making you do? What does Voldemort want from you?" She asked boldly. He's not surprised she would call the Dark Lord by name but it still makes him flinch. The cold bites into his fingertips and he snaps his head to meet her piercing gaze. He can't answer her. He can't give anything away. She sees his resolve holding tight and he notices her getting angry about it.
"What is it, Malfoy?! Tell me what He wants you to do? There must be some sort of loyalty test and that's why you think you're going to die!" Her hands have gripped the front of his button down, her fingers are red and he feels her shaking him when he focuses his eyes past her head. He's doing his best to occlude again but the alcohol has made it tricky. "You don't hav-'' Her face pressed into his chest and it took him a moment to realize he had done it.

He had one hand around her shoulders and the other rested on the back of her head, her messy curls blowing all over the place as he held her against him. An embrace. He felt her shoulders shaking, her fist going loose before gripping his shirt again. Was she crying? He hadn't even done anything yet and she was crying. He heard a shush, a soothing sound used to calm others and realized with a shock it was coming from him.
By time she stilled, he couldn't feel his hands at all but would sooner lose them to frostbite than release her to pull his wand and cast another warming charm. He pressed his cheek against the side of her head to whisper his comforting sounds better into her ear. He squeezed a little tighter to make sure she was really there. "We should get you back inside." He said softly when a shiver wracked through her body.
She shook her head, probably smearing her tears all over his shirt and wrapped her arms around his waist, squeezing him tighter to her. The wind blew in a pattern, coming in a gust and then softer followed by another gust and he realized he was moving with the wind. They swayed with each breeze and rocked back and forth ever so slightly and he felt a lump in his throat, a ball of nerves. Was he dancing with her?

He could feel her every exhale against his neck when she shifted to stop squishing her face into him. And he's certain she feels his breath against her ear. She carefully spoke, the tense topic not being taken lightly or dismissed. "Don't do it. I don't know what it is, but don't." He let the hand against her head stroke down her back, not wanting her to cry again. Not for him.
"I can't-" His mouth felt dry and his head still wrapped itself around the slightly fuzzy alteration the fire whiskey gave him. He missed the burn in his throat, it was better than it feeling tight and dry to avoid choking out every burden he is carrying. He turned them ever so slightly, painfully slowly, so he had his back to the lake, keeping the worst of the wind off her. This made the strong gusts push her hair back and up off her face, stopping it from flying into his face from their previous position and so he could look in her pretty little eyes.
He tried to form words when he pulled back to see her eyes but nothing came to mind or from his lips. Her nose was red tipped, her cheeks flushed a bright red as well and he knew she must be practically frozen solid by now. The pale color on her face made the streaky path from her tears more obvious. She belonged in the warmth and joy buzzing on the other side of the windows. She shouldn't be out here with him in the cold and the open compassion in her eyes only solidified it more in his heart that he didn't deserve her tears.

The sound of stone scraping against stone, followed by a thud and laughing voices made them both look to where they had come from. The smell of cigarette smoke filled his nose and he figured someone had made an escape from the busy party. "Come on. You need to get back in and by the fire." She didn't move when he pressed lightly into her back, trying to guide her back to safety.
"Is this why you're trying to fix that cabinet? To escape?" He took in a sharp breath, the perfect lie being presented to him on a platter at his feet. He could say yes. He could convince her to help him, no questions asked if he said yes. He might actually sleep well and be able to focus on his other task fully. Granger could solve anything complicated with time to spare.
Or he could do what every fiber of his being was ordering him to do. He could spare her from helping him. Spare her more tears, not let her take any part in his awful scheme to prove himself worthy enough to live another year. He expected each task to be more and more difficult until he failed. The Dark Lord was setting the bar so high, how could it not be seen as a cat playing with its dinner?
Instead of answering, he gave her a tiny smile. "Back inside, Golden Girl. I'm sure your mates are wondering where you've gone."
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It Wouldn't Even Matter