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Chapter 5
Hermione made her way to the Great Hall for dinner. Reaching the doorway she stopped and, looking into the Hall, she spotted Malfoy at the Slytherin table. It took all her courage and resolution to enter the room. Deliberately not looking in the direction of the Slytherins, she picked a seat with her back to Malfoy. Ron and Harry came in a few minutes later and sat down next to her. They had been at Quidditch practice, Hermione noticed. She sat and listened to them talking about the team, hoping they couldn't tell from her face the torment she had endured. Both boys thought they had a good chance at the Quidditch cup again this year. A Second Year boy was proving to be an amazing chaser, she learned. Hermione didn't notice Colin Creevey entering the Great Hall and sitting down next to Harry until he spoke to her.
"So, Hermione, where were you off to last night at midnight?" Colin asked her. Harry and Ron stopped mid conversation and turned to look at her curiously.
"You went out at midnight, Hermione?" Ron asked. "What for?"
Hermione's mind raced, trying think of a good lie. "It was nothing. I just needed some space. I went down to the library for a little while."
"Not so little," Colin said. "Well, I was working on my potions essay until one o'clock and you hadn't come back by then."
Hermione shot Colin a look to tell him to mind his own business. He cringed slightly. "Sorry. I just wondered when I heard you were ill today."
"Well, if everyone is going to keep track of my time, I'll just write out copies of my schedule for you." Hermione said loudly and sarcastically. Their part of the table went quiet. The boys looked surprised. Ron was blinking rapidly, looking at her strangely.
Hermione put down her fork, having barely touched her meal. "I think I need some air." With that, she left the Great Hall, leaving a stunned Ron, Harry, and Colin behind. She carefully looked only ahead of her, but she could almost feel Malfoy's eyes following.
Hermione didn't know what to do. Didn't know where to go. All of Hogwarts seemed scary to her now. Malfoy or his friends could be anyplace. She didn't look forward to going to astronomy classes either. Could she ever bring herself to go onto that roof again, the site of her pain and humiliation? Finally, she walked down to the lake and sat down on the bank. Her brain seemed frozen and she looked quietly out at the water. Her relief last night of the experience being over had been short lived. She was a fool not to guess that Malfoy wouldn't be satisfied with a one-time 'service.' She wondered how many times she would have to submit to his disgusting demands.
There was nothing she could do now. There were no changes to her situation, no decisions to be reevaluated, no new facts to be reviewed. In fact, she realized in disgust, she was more trapped than ever. Now that she had accommodated Malfoy she would be mortified if anyone found out about it.
She scoffed at herself inwardly. Smartest witch in school? How did she get into this mess? Was there a way out? Was her only hope that Malfoy would eventually get bored with her and leave her alone?
She started as someone sat down next to her on the bank. She was disgusted to see it was Malfoy.
"Quite a display in the Great Hall, Granger. Something on your mind?" His sneering voice oozed contempt and sarcasm and sounded quite pleased with himself. He was sitting too close to her. Hermione edged away.
"Leave me alone, Malfoy!" She wanted to get up and leave but something prevented her.
"Oh, I don't think so, Mudblood." His face broke out in a wide grin. "I don't suppose you told your boyfriend that you lost your virginity to me last night. I'd love to see the look on Weasley's face. Christmas come early." Then he chuckled. "Of course, maybe he doesn't even like girls. He and Potter are together a lot, aren't they."
Hermione sighed. "Shut up. I can't stand to listen to you. You make me want to vomit."
"I didn't make you vomit last night. I think you rather liked it even though you were trying your best not to. We'll see if you do better tonight." He ran his hand down her arm. The touch made her shiver and she pulled away.
"Tonight? You can't be serious. I told you it was a one time thing so skive off, Malfoy."
Malfoy sighed and gave her a disappointed look. His voice was harsh and menacing. "Don't test me. Or maybe you would like another example of my power? There are so many Muggles in the world. Who would I choose? Your parents perhaps? Potter's aunt or uncle? Perhaps Colin Creevey's parents. Yes, Colin and Denis Creevey. They're Mudbloods, aren't they? There are a lot to choose from in Gryffindor. Makes it a bit hard. Your parents first, of course, but after that... I wonder..
Hermione could feel the tears coming again. This situation was just so impossible. She couldn't see any way out. Despite thinking it would be futile, she tried to play on what little humanity Malfoy might have. "Please, Draco. All right. I'll do what you want. But not tonight. I'm really sore. Please give me some time."
He suddenly looked pleased with himself. Hermione only felt nauseous. "Well, I suppose I could be generous and give you one day to recover from my impressive performance. Don't say I never did anything for you. So tomorrow night you will meet me in the prefect's bathroom at midnight." With that demand made, Malfoy got up.
"Oh, and you really shouldn't be missing class, Granger. Aside from dropping your grade it could make other people suspicious. And you really don't want to drag anyone else into this, do you?" With that, Malfoy left.
Hermione sat motionless at the lake's wondering why this was happening to her.
The next day, Hermione attended all her classes. She felt like a wreck though. Her experience with Malfoy and his constant threats were taking their toll on her. She hadn't slept more than a few hours at a time and she hadn't eaten a full meal since Malfoy's little game started.
Professor McGonagall asked to to stay after class. Hermione, usually the best pupil in class, was mortified.
"Miss Granger, I know you have been ill. Are you recovered?"
"Oh, yes, Professor. I'm fine." Hermione smiled, trying not to let her face display what she was feeling.
"You don't look like you are well, Miss Granger. Have you seen Madam Pomfrey?"
"No, but I don't need to. I'm fine. I'll have my homework caught up by tomorrow," she promised, not knowing how she would accomplish this, but if it would appease McGonagall then she'd do it.
"You are a wonderful pupil, Miss Granger - Hermione. I'm worried about you. You don't look well and there's something different. You aren't acting like your usual self."
Hermione's face started to flush. "Oh, no professor. I'm fine. Just a bug or something."
"There's nothing else?" McGonagall's stern face softened a little and Hermione could see her concern.
"Well," Hermione started reluctantly, thinking possibly a little bit of truth would satisfy her professor. "I'm really worried about Seamus. What happened to his family is so terrible."
McGonagall nodded and Hermione thought she could see her eyes growing moist. "Of course. You should see Madam Pomfrey and ask her for a calming solution. It will help you to rest."
"I will, thank you, Professor," Hermione lied.
"Oh, and Mr. Finnegan will be returning tomorrow evening. I hope that will set your mind at ease. He and his mother are safe and well and are being protected by the Aurors. Now, get to lunch. You look as if you could use something in your stomach."
Hermione left. Seamus would be back tomorrow. She didn't think she could face him. He wouldn't know that his loss was her fault. He wouldn't know that she had unwittingly held the life of his father in her hands and had let it go as if it were nothing. How could she look at him again? How could she bear his gaze?
Hermione didn't go to lunch. She was no longer hungry. Instead she went to the library.
After lunch time, she met up with Harry and Ron for Care of Magical Creatures, a class she dreaded because they shared it with the Slytherins. She resolved not to look at Malfoy and just concentrate on the lesson. She often found she could lose herself in lessons and books. Could she do it now? Blot everything but learning from her mind? She hoped so.
"Hermione, why weren't you at lunch?" Ron demanded.
This wasn't a good start, Hermione realized. She noticed the Slytherins approaching but turned away from them. "I had to go to the library, Ron. I need to get caught up on my classes."
"I'm worried about you. You missed breakfast, too. You've got to be starving. Here," he pressed something into her hand, "have a chocolate frog."
"Thanks, Ron. I'll save it for after class," she said, shoving it into her bag. "Look, Hagrid's starting the lecture." She nodded at their teacher who was standing next to a large wooden crate from which worrisome growling noises were emanating. "I think we had better pay attention now, don't you?"
After the class, several of the class including Harry had to stop by the hospital wing for healing charms on their scratches. Hermione and Ron waited with him in the infirmary. "Well, Mr. Potter. I see you were on the wrong end of the Miskats as well. Sit still for a moment." She cast a healing charm and then slathered some thick orange potion on the scratches. "That should do it. Remember, Mr. Potter, keep the sharp ends pointed away next time."
As the trio got up to leave, Madam Pomfrey called them back. "Oh, Miss Granger! I have something for you. Professor McGonagall said you would be stopping by for it. There you are." She pressed a small vial into Hermione's hands. "A calming solution. It will help you sleep."
"Thank you, professor." Hermione took the vial, embarrassed that Ron and Harry were watching.
"She told me that you've been ill. Why haven't you come to the infirmary? I can examine you now if you like."
"Oh, no. I'm fine. I wasn't feeling well but I'm all right now. I didn't come in because I knew it was just a bug or something." Hermione tried to reassure the witch.
"Well, all right. Make sure you take that solution tonight. If you aren't feeling better then I want you to come and see me."
With that, the trio left. Outside in the hallway, Ron turned to Hermione. "Hermione, are you sure you don't want Madam Pomfrey to examine you? You didn't say anything about Professor McGonagall sending you to the infirmary. Weren't you going to go?"
"Of course I was, Ron. After classes. But I don't really need to. I'm fine." She noticed Goyle leaving the infirmary - he'd been on the receiving end of some bad scratches when he'd taken Malfoy's dare to touch the Miskat's underbelly. As he passed them, Goyle leered openly at her. She realized with horror that Goyle knew.
"Do you know, I wish people would just quit asking me if I'm all right." She couldn't help letting her frustration show. She scowled at Ron, feeling so horrible inside as she saw his expression of shock at her behavior. "I'm fine, I keep telling everyone!" Her voice grew louder. "I suppose everyone knows how I am better than I do? Sometimes I just wish everyone would just leave me alone." Hermione left an openmouthed Ron and Harry standing alone in the hallway outside the infirmary.
She heard Ron's sarcastic voice calling after her, and then Harry's calmer voice. "Well, forgive me for being concerned about you. Just go off in a huff then."
"Let her go, Ron. It won't help anything to have a row in the hallway."
"What is up with her?"
Hermione found an empty classroom where she cast a silencing charm and vented her frustration by screaming. When she was too tired to continue, she sat down at a desk and stared out at nothing. She didn't realize the passage of time and only left when Peeves the poltergeist drifted through the wall and started to make rude comments to her. She went back to Gryffindor tower and to her dormitory, ignoring Ron who demanded from his chair in the common room to know why she hadn't been at dinner.
Hermione lay in her bed, curtains drawn, dreading the clock which indicated she only had a few hours before she had to meet Malfoy in the prefects bath.
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