The game and love

50

Draco tried to forget his terrified state while also conforting Harry as well. Harry was clearly upset, worried that He and Draco had been discovered. They'd been so careful to have it all go to pieces now, he was devistated for both of them. Harry was even more worried by the fact that Harry had not spoken since they had hailed a taxi to go back to the hotel. He didn't want to say anything right now, really what could he say. It had been a mistake, when he'd been vunerable. He was having a tough season a year ago. Chris had been understanding. It didn't mean that Draco didn't love Harry anymore. He'd called Harry's name twice without realizing it. He knew afterwards that'd he'd made a mistake. He wanted to forget, so ashamed to have betrayed Harry. Afraid to lose the only person he trusted in the whole world.

They still hadn't spoken a word by the time they got back to the hotel. The thoughts in Harry's mind were jumbled and confused with eachother. He'd thought most of Draco's teamates were aware of Draco's Sexual Orientation, but from the way the young man had eyed Draco and the way Draco rushed Harry out of there, the more Harry was sure this was the 'big one'. He clutched Draco's arm as they walked up the steps to the front of the hotel.

"I'm sorry Draco." Harry moaned, distress all over his words. "I should have made you be more careful...but I..." Draco eyed him and sighed. Turning to face him.

"It was my fault Harry. Please don't blame yourself, alright?" Draco gave a weakened grimmance that was supposed to be a smile. What was he going to say, he knew that he'd have to say something now. The dreams were getting worse, the stress was killing him, he was sure of it. He had a constant tightness in his chest since they'd seen Chris and it wasn't going away. Harry nodded to Draco as they continued to walk down the hall. He'd just have to wait until the blonde could speak more indepth about this. He hated waiting, especially since it was somthing clearly bothering Draco. He didn't have a choice though, but he intended to be the best boyfriend he could be until he did learn what was in his loves head.

"Here, let me make you some of my tea." Harry said kindly as his face showed continued concern. The tension needed a spark. Draco was killing himself over what to say. The weight of the words as they circled his mind squeezed his guts to an unbearable pressure as Harry started to hum a song as he knocked around in the kitchen. Trying to fight his own confused thoughts. Harry was definitely a changed guy from highschool, more assertive. Agressive with getting the things he wanted, less overpowered by shyness. All of these things had developed while he was on the road these last few years. Learning them simply to survive. Yet, in the same room with Draco, the Love of his life, he let Draco have the lead, just like in highschool. He was still the same shy, low-selfesteem kid who constantly had to be told not to look at his own feet when he spoke.

After about ten minutes in the kitchen Harry returned to Draco with two cups of hot tea. Draco had sat himself on the side of his bed. Harry handed him a mug and sat down beside him. He sipped his own tea intently, looking for the courage to break the ice on this seemingly universe altering conversation. He sipped for a bit longer and then set his cup on the seat of the chair that was by the foot of the bed, carful the make sure it was ballanced before turning and puting a hand on Draco's right shoulder.

"Do you wanna talk about it?" Harry asked awkwardly. Kicking himself for not coming up with a more inspiring line of confidence building. Draco shrugged his shoulders, he was pale and sweating, obviously at war with himself. He wanted to spill all of it, right then, right there, just for relief, but his eyes keept looking at Harry. The knots in his heart were so painful now he saw red spots in the sides of his eyes. Harry started to diagnose Draco's symptoms now. This had happened to him a few times before when he was first starting out with his singing career. He'd never thought Draco would have an anxiety attack, but he was definitely having one.

"Dray, come with me sweetie. Your having an anxiety attack." Harry led Draco to the bathroom slowly. Draco could hardly focus and he slumped against Harry, who, despite his size managed quite well with Draco's weight against him. When they made it to the enterance, Draco slammed to his knees, his body locked as his head ran over the toliet seat. He dry heaved. His body ached, he heaved again, sweat beaded off his face. He heaved for about 20 seconds. He was a complete wreck.

Harry went and turned on the shower. He made it just cold enough to shock Draco, but not uncomfortably cold. He finally was able to help Draco wrestle his shirt off and he removed his own shirt, pants were next. Harry tested the water once more to make sure it was safe. He took Draco's arm and helped him into the shower, it had been a long time since they'd been in the shower together. He pushed the thought away as he got into the shower and had Draco face him as the water struck them both.

"Just relax Drake, I'm here alright?" He ran his left hand along Draco's face. He was looking down. Harry tried everything to catch the man's gaze, but Draco wouldn't look at him. Harry could tell that there was some frustration there the way Draco's face would screw up with thought every few seconds. Then he heard the man wimper. Obviously, he wanted to do something to express himself. Harry pulled him into a hug, careful to mantain his balance in case Draco was still unsettled.

"What's wrong baby, what are you trying to tell me?" Harry asked, his own tears of empathy now showing. He felt Draco's grip on him strengthen.

"God, I'm so stupid...I'm sorry Harry....I'm so terrible for..." He couldn't finish. The words were stuck in his throat.

"Drake stop, you're scaring me." Harry's voice was cracked. "It'll be ok you'll see, I promise." Harry didn't understand.

"I don't blame you if you leave me...Oh god...I swear..I never meant...fuck.." Draco was holding too tight now.

"Draco, stop it, you're hurting me!" Harry yelped, now clearly frightened. "What's gotten into you?!" He spat half in frustration, half fear.

"Harry?" Draco's tone was even, his breathing labored. Harry nodded his attention. "Harry, there was someone else." Draco felt as if his chest might explode with his guilt now.

"What?" Harry asked confusion in his voice. He hadn't quite heard him over the rush of the water, that had to be it.

"There was someone else." Draco cried. "I'm so sorry. I wish I could...I..."

He couldn't finish. The betrayal in Harry's eyes told him he understood exactly what was going on. Harry left him in the shower, not even bothering to grab a something to dry off with. It was Harry's turn to feel crushed. Devistated, betrayed. Harry cursed as he tried to force dry clothes onto his wet body. He wanted to run right now, as if that would allow him to outrun his heart. He felt a hand on his shoulder.

"Don't you fucking touch me, don't you touch me again." He barked, that hand didn't need a face, Harry had known it's touch for almost eleven years. He continued trying to slide on his pants which weren't cooperating with him at all. He growled in frustration, he didn't want to let Draco see him cry. He didn't even want to hear what Draco would say now. Once he'd finally wrestled his pants on he turned to Draco.

"Why?..Why?" Harry pleaded. When Draco didn't even make a move or say a word, fury built up in Harry's vains. He walked over until he was just an inch from his face. He punched him hard in the face and then again in the chest, Draco didn't give any response. He didn't even move. Harry finally stopped after about four or five hits.

"Fuck you!" Harry whispered in Draco's ear and then spit in his face. He walked out and let the door slam behind him. Tears ran freely from Draco's eyes as the most important thing in his life walked out the door. He clenched his fist in self hatred. He didn't even feel any pain when he slammed his fist into the wall, but the significant dent and the way his right hands' ring and middle finger were bent, he knew they were broken, but that didn't even matter right now.

~~~~~
End Chapter 50

A/N: Would you guys like the back story on this Chris Situation? If you would let me know I can start on the next chapter soon. I am pretty sure I am just about ready to start wrapping this story, it's up to your reviews or requests wether it keeps going longer.