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The Long Road	By : SinisterMe Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Snape/Remus Views: 63607 -:- Recommendations : 3 -:- Currently Reading : 18
Disclaimer: This is a work of fan fiction using characters from the Harry Potter world, which is trademarked by J. K. Rowling. This story is purely for entertainment purposes, no money is being made from it.

Chapter List
- 51
- 52
- 53
Severus had been losing track of time. Lanning would leave and reappear again at such strange and intermittent intervals that he wasn’t able to keep track of it, which would be the point, of course. If he thought about it rationally, he’d only been locked in the box three times – with its unbearable heat and its agonizing cold. Each instance had felt like its own eternity. Dying also seemed to make it more difficult to keep his bearings – he never knew how long he took to expire completely, how long he remained deceased for or what kind of time it took him to revive and regain consciousness again.
Whatever time of day it was when Quinton returned this last time, he did so with an aggravated expression on his face and a newspaper rolled up under one of his arms.
“I hope you weren’t too bored while I was gone,” the chestnut haired man told him conversationally.
Severus looked back at him with expressionless eyes but remained silent as his tongue had been removed from his head unknown hours earlier. As it was, he was strapped to the table, which was folded up to be more of a chair at this time. That way he would have nothing to do but feel the unending, loss-filled agony from inside of his mouth and look at the section of his thigh that had been surgically opened and left that way while Lanning had gone to have a spot of tea.
The flesh and muscles were being held open by long, weighted clamps hanging off of his leg; his circulatory system was spelled to divert most of the blood going to his calf and foot through other arteries - that way he wouldn’t bleed out before Lanning got back to do whatever it was he’d intended when he’d started this madness. All the same he was feeling dizzy and not a little ill from the loss of blood, no matter how slowly it had exited his body. He’d only been killed once during the period of time he’d defined as ‘today’, and he wasn’t sure if that was encouraging or not.
Thankfully, Severus was Occluding as well as he ever had in his life. He was so detached from himself that when Lanning returned he was imagining strolling down to the modest orchard with Remus, was almost feeling the warmth of the sun on his face. The sound of Teddy’s laughter seemed to echo all around them. He couldn’t wait to be back there with them in reality. Lanning’s voice shook him from his magical imaginings and brought him just a little closer to the grim reality he was currently enduring.
Despite declaring before he left that he was going for a rest and some refreshments, Lanning was looking more frazzled than ever. He unrolled the paper and tossed it onto Snape's lap, careless of how much of it landed on the open tissue of his thigh.
“It seems that your old friends have teamed up with your new friends to try to free you and destroy the lovely thing we have going with the Werewolves in this country. I don’t think that it’s fair for them to get all of that help and publicity while I toil away down here, all alone and underappreciated - do you?”
Severus stared back at him as blankly as the muscles in his face would let him and waited for the man to answer his own damned question.
“I didn’t think so!” Lanning proclaimed cheerfully just as if Snape had answered him. “That’s why I’m going to recruit some of my friends to help as well! We can see how much they like that when they read about it over their tea and scones.”
Severus heard the words, and though they made him thrum with the anticipation of what they likely meant, it was a sedate feeling compared to what came over him as he took in the picture on the cover of the Daily Prophet. He saw Remus, Harry and Draco standing amid a large group of well-dressed people. Even through his delirium he could recognize the impeccable Malfoy gardens in the background. Then there was the blond aristocrat himself, who he felt stood altogether too close to Remus for his own personal comfort. He prayed that he had done the right thing in leaving Remus and Teddy with Draco, clamping down his fear that something terrible would happen to them that he would be unable or unwilling to prevent.
Lanning roughly removed the paper and flung it onto the floor. The porous material of the parchment had soaked up most of the sticky blood that had been pooling in the wound on his thigh. That meant that the bone was briefly visible again, the sight of which made his hands tremble where they were bound.
“Pardon me, Severus? You don’t feel up to entertaining company?” Lanning crooned in a syrupy voice. In a mockery of tenderness he brushed the sweat dampened hair off of Snape’s forehead, continuing the caress over his temple and along his cheek bone. “Don’t worry, they won’t be coming for a few hours, we’ll have a bit more time to ourselves. Whatever shall we do?” the Healer mused out loud.
If Severus’ only retort was the gurgling sound he’d been making for the last hour or so while he tried to breathe, he felt that he couldn’t be blamed for not holding up his end of the conversation.
“I think we should see if something good can’t come out of this for you. I’ve read your medical files you know, they say that something in your knee resisted magical treatment of any kind after a point – no one can seem to determine why, however. I say we try and figure out what it is! I was trying to take a look earlier, but I don’t think I was having much success from this angle.” He gestured to Severus’ thigh and the crater that he had carved there.
Quinton moved a wheeled stool closer to the table. Also he brought nearer a rolling tray with an assortment of medical tools laid neatly out in its reflective surface. He sat on the stool and looked at Snape’s leg, unclamping the equipment already in place there.
“I think our best option is to amputate the leg about six inches above the faulty knee,” Lanning told him brightly, trailing his fingers along the place he was speaking of. Gooseflesh broke out unbidden across Snape’s body. “Don’t give me that look; you know the spell will grow it back for us right after I’m done.” In spite of his casual words he used a sterilizing spell on Severus’ flesh and then a separate one on all of the tools and his hands. “That way you can be all in one piece when you meet my friends, and I can have the limb to inspect at my leisure later on. We’ll figure this out yet, I do love a puzzle!”
Lanning hummed to himself as he made the first confident slices with his scalpel.
Severus, who wasn’t sure he could believe this was happening, retreated into his mind as far as he was able, locking the important part of himself away with the sound of Teddy’s idle humming and the memory of Remus’ lips against his skin even as he heard himself start to scream.

When Severus was finally being locked into the box again, this time by two house elves as Lanning couldn’t be bothered to do it himself, he was almost positive that he’d lost an entire day somewhere.
Lanning had made clean work of his leg, cutting through layer after layer of flesh and tissue as if it were warm butter. The spell that had sawed his bones in half had come next. When he was finished, Lanning used both hands to bring his work up for inspection, Severus’ and his own. There were no words to describe what he felt upon being made to look at the severed limb up close.
Quinton had been quite thrilled about the whole thing, marveling over his own handiwork as he bustled about. He’d put a stasis spell on the limb and set it aside, returning to poke and press at the remaining stump once he’d spelled the bleeding to stop.
Somewhere during his inspection a house elf had brought someone into the room, announcing him to Quinton and then backing out slowly. Severus had caught her staring at him with eyes that were even wider than usual; he dazedly hoped the sight of him hadn’t frightened her too badly.
Lanning had apologized to his friend for the mess, saying that time had gotten away from him. He offered the honor of resetting Severus to this man, saying that everyone would be arriving shortly and it would be best to start fresh. Severus had tried to pay attention, but he suspected he had lost far too much blood for that and so just allowed himself to drift while these two men decided what would be done with him.
Eventually, the stranger had come nearer and inspected Severus’ left forearm, touching the scar where the Mark had been almost reverently. He then wrapped a length of thin wire around Snape’s neck, pulling on the ends until he saw stars and his whole world was reduced to unbearable pressure and the losing battle to breathe. The man pulled tighter still until Severus felt that fleeting moment of beautiful nothing – those sweet seconds that he was permitted to remain deceased – and then it all came crashing back to him. The regrowth of his leg and tongue had definitely been more terrible than the removing of them, if for no other reason than it felt like it took an eternity.
His mouth felt full and fat with his tongue and he really could have used some water to clear it out with, though he knew it wasn’t coming. He’d listened to the chatter of voices in cordial conversation as his leg had sprouted anew, though the words were indistinguishable to him at the time. He was sure he put on quite a show for them as his body writhed and shrieked while all of the components to the limb recreated themselves. Recreating so much soft tissue had left him weak and more than a little exhausted, but he knew there was nothing else to do but to withstand it all.
Another three men showed up, one at a time. At first they had hardly seemed to notice Snape outside of a single appraisal each, seeming more interested in discussion, pouring drinks of amber liquid and lighting thin cigars.
Once the devastating agony of his leg growing back was over, he had little else to do but patch his mental barriers, pant like an overheated dog and try to listen to what they were saying. He put together in bits and pieces that they were members of a support group for people who had lost loved ones to the Death Eaters. They had frequent meetings, or so it sounded. These five had been meeting on their own time and Lanning had thought it only fair to share the wealth of an actual Death Eater legally in his possession. The rest of them were all sickeningly grateful and exuberant to be there.
He didn’t bother trying to put names to faces, though two of them looked startlingly familiar. He wondered if it was because he had helped to torture and murder their friends and families and if he really wasn’t exactly where he deserved to be right at that moment, feeling the same dawning terror as all of the people he had stood over, just as these men were standing over him now. He wondered how many more times he’d have to die to tip the scales in his favor.
Once they began to notice him, he decided it really didn’t matter. Having groveled at Voldemort’s feet for so many years, he had intimate knowledge of humiliation, pain and hatred in their truest forms. He was reacquainted with them again that night.
They only allowed him to die twice as they tore him apart.
Some of the curses they used were nowhere near legal spells, their obscurity and age leading him to believe that perhaps they had researched them just for him. He tried to feel special.
The skin was melted from the bones of his feet, he was flayed and burned, raped and plied with potions whose intentions were only to make these things even harder to undergo. People were always watching one another butcher him while one or two others would disappear, presumably for a rest and a bite to eat. The things these people shouted at him or whispered into his ear were the words that reverberated around his mind when he allowed it to still. Traitor. Murderer. Collaborator. Worthless backstabbing piece of shite. Waste of air and space and resources. The list was endless and eternal and all of it was true. They could do nothing to him that he had not already done to someone else, and so let them do their worst! He deserved it all and more!
Somewhere from the back of his mind, Remus’ voice echoed, “I forgive you,” and he could have wept. He realized that his shields had been slipping for hours and instantly pulled them back around himself, holding onto the light in Remus’ eyes, the memory of his voice saying those unbelievable words.
There was no way to know how long it lasted, how many hours or days they continued their games. All he knew was that once the room was silent, he felt diminished and filthy, exhausted and worn away, wishing that he had been allowed to remain dead when they finally killed him, however long ago that had been.
Then the elves had come. Silently they had washed him up, cleared him of blood, semen and bile. One of them had allowed him to drink three blessed mouthfuls of tepid water before they had moved him to the box and set about locking him in there. Just before the final door had been closed on him, he heard a squeaky whisper in his ear. “Remus Lupin is not forgetting you, Master Snape,” the creature gave him proper reverence in spite of his current position. “He is wanting you to be knowing that.” And then the last box was closed, the final locks in place. The pattering of feet away from his prison cell was the last thing he heard before he descended into silence so heavy his own breathing was loud in his ears.
He wondered how Remus had managed to get him even that scrap of a message. Meager though the words may have sounded, they made him feel not quite so alone. He burrowed into his shields, repairing the damage that had been done to them by those men. Any mutilation that had been done to him personally had been wiped away with his last death, thankfully. Again, he felt a resurgence of strength, his desire to be whole after this was done was a tangible thing.
Behind his shields, he began to sort through the atrocities he had had to endure that day, filing them away behind a clear shield that allowed him to see, but not experience, his emotions. Those, he would sort through when the shields came down, there was no other way. Still, he had endured worse for less.

The days after the gathering at the Malfoy’s were a blurry mess for Remus. He went through the motions of life, but felt utterly apart from it. Draco and Harry made frequent trips to Ackerley’s office, and every now and again he appeared at the house himself with papers for them to sign.
Teddy had been having nightmares – he’d almost used up all of his jars, and Remus was secretly afraid that once they were gone his own voice would hold no power to soothe his son. They had been spending ample amounts of time together; there was no way he could complain in regards to that. They’d been making great strides in his reading and writing abilities, with the boy proclaiming often how happy it would make sir that he was progressing this far in his absence. Remus couldn’t deny it, as he was feeling a great deal of pride himself. They painted and caught frogs for Teddy and walked and exercised for Remus. It should have been perfect, but time seemed to inch forward and every hour was its own eternity.
Severus was missing from it all and both of them knew it. Every hour they didn’t hear back on the vote his heart grew heavier, his anxieties mounted. What if the spell didn’t heal Severus completely or correctly in the end? What was he going through, what brutalities were being done to him in the name of revenge? Remus was afraid that it would be too much, that Severus would return and hate them for what he’d had to endure. What would happen then, when he realized what Remus already knew – that he wasn’t worth any of this and wanted done with them?
Physically, he was getting stronger – he’d even adjusted his cane twice, making it heavier by a couple of measures each time. He had been practicing making tea and carrying small items around by magic. He had to hone the skill all over again and though he’d found that most of his knowledge remained intact, his abilities were more than rusty. Draco and Harry let it all pass without comment other than to congratulate him when he achieved something ‘new’. It was probably all in his head, but it seemed as if the two of them had teamed up almost for the sole purpose of coddling him as if he were the child. He felt indifferent even to that.
The phial had heated and cooled countless times, every one of them made Remus want to weep with frustration. He wasn’t sleeping well, or more correctly, he was hardly sleeping at all. The longer Severus was gone, the more hollow he felt inside. With nothing else to do but wait, he was finding it more challenging to function. He tried to do as Severus had asked, to keep his spirits up and enjoy being by himself without having to look over his shoulder, but it was almost impossible now.
Teddy had taken to sleeping in their bed every night and Remus didn’t have the heart to try and stop him. He, on the other hand, was starting to find it difficult to as much as lay down on the piece of furniture without having his imagination run rampant. He’d taken to spending the nights in his armchair by the fire, sleeping for the time he could before either the phial or his nightmares caused him to startle awake. Still, he did his best to attempt to rest, knowing that any strength he could gain would only help when Severus came home.
He dreaded the mornings. Since the bloodless ear, they had also received a complete tongue, folded and packaged in butcher’s paper inside the small box an unfamiliar owl had delivered. He’d just set it on the table and walked from the room, leaving one of the boy’s to banish it – his magic couldn’t be trusted even for that. The rest of the day had been spent alone in his room – in spite of his quick metabolism he’d drank himself into such a state that he hadn’t even noticed Teddy come in and go to bed. His shame in the morning was compounded by his thrashing stomach and his pounding head.
Morning was also the time of day that the paper arrived. The day after their efforts at Malfoy Manor had been talked about in print media, Lanning’s drivel had started appearing there as well. The articles reminded everyone what the werewolves and the Death Eaters had done to individuals and to society. It reminded them that they had put such strict controls into place for a reason. It showed magically verified age restricted pictures of just how Severus was finally being punished for all of his crimes. Of course, small print at the bottom of the page informed readers with excellent vision that this article was written by a third party and did not necessarily share the views or beliefs of the newspaper or anyone who was employed there. They were just trying to keep an open mind, to appear unbiased. Utter trash.
Doubt was paramount in his mind. Doubt that they would achieve any of their goals, doubt that their lives would be able to return to normal and most gnawingly self-doubt – that he could somehow do more, react better, that he wasn’t doing his best to resolve the situation.
When he thought about it realistically, he was just doing what was easiest for himself – something he’d done his entire life where Severus was concerned and more. This was where the guilt came from. He felt as if he should be starving himself, sleeping on stone, denying himself the sun, the light of his son’s face to try and make amends for the things he’d failed to do, the things he was still failing to do for Severus. Telling himself that there was nothing he could do now didn’t help one iota because there had to be something to be done other than the thing’s they’d been trying.
What in the name of the Merlin’s hairy areshole did they think they were doing? Trusting in the general goodwill of the public and the moral correctness of the Ministry? How had he ever let himself be talked into that like some wild eyed dreamer? Severus had convinced them all of it, likely so that they wouldn’t do anything rash while he was incarcerated. Remus felt anger like he hadn’t known for years – at himself and at Severus. He wanted to do something more than reckless, realizing that his teeth were grinding together and his heart was hammering away at the cage of his chest.
The next morning the eye arrived. He’d had to overcome his nausea as he unwrapped the plain paper around the package, his hands trembling as he unfolded the flap and looked inside. One of Severus’ beautifully dark eyes sat on a bed of folded fabric, looking lifelessly up at him from the bottom of the box. This time, there had been a note. It read only one line: ‘See no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil’. The ear, the tongue, the eye – Remus’ blood had boiled over. His face contorted and he let out a sound more animal than man. He was officially done just waiting around, everyone else’s opinion be damned.
But what could he do? He had no money or power, no other friends or allies to call on. A small spark of a thought took hold in his mind. He might not have any of those things, but surely Severus did; something the man had said to him once made him want to take a bit of a gamble. He went to his and Severus’ room, scratched a small note and leant out the window, whistling for Snape’s owl. He arrived promptly and was sent out with the message. Remus trusted the bird to get the letter safely to the person it was intended, he only hoped that he’d chosen the proper words and the correct individual. Only time would tell.
Though it was late when he ducked back down to the kitchen for a bite to eat, Draco and Harry were still up, conversing over what appeared to be a cold pot of tea. Their conversation stilled as he entered the room and they looked at him with thinly veiled concern. After his reaction to the tongue and the eye, they could hardly know what to expect from him.
“I’m fine,” he said defensively, thinking in retrospect that if that had been even close to true he would likely have led with something else.
Harry nodded sagely. “Okay,” he accepted, kicking a chair out for him.
Remus made no move towards the piece of furniture. “How’s Teddy?” He had retreated immediately after mail delivery and his son was nowhere in sight at the moment.
“He’s doing alright,” Draco offered. “Fred took him into town on a grocery run. They were going to stop at a toy shop if Teddy was well behaved. I’m certain it was the most effective distraction for him from… well, all of this.”
“Thank you,” Remus said, completely drained. He grabbed a tin of biscuits and an apple and turned to go back upstairs.
“Is there – is there anything we can do?” Harry asked, floundering.
“No,” Remus shook his head as he slipped from the room, “there isn’t.” He hoped the same wouldn’t hold true for him.
Sleep didn’t find him that night. The morning came but brought very little hope with it. He did his exercises and stretches, washed and dressed himself but put off going downstairs as long as possible, not wanting to face the others or the newspaper or Lanning’s next sick joke one single bit. He sat back in his chair, telling himself that he’d go right away, he’d long since missed breakfast but found he had no interest in it anyway.
There came a tap at the window; Severus’ owl sat on the perch attached to the sill. There was a note tied to his leg. He undid the latch and let the impressive bird swoop onto the table and offer him the missive. Remus took the note and the bird was on his way. He unrolled the parchment, trying not to jump to conclusions before he read the contents.

                Mr. Lupin

                Thank you for contacting me. I have been following this case closely for various reasons both personal and professional. Severus, and therefore you, have my fullest support and the support of The Academy. I have already been in contact with Severus’ representation as well as several associates I have at the Ministry.
After my conversation with his solicitor, I have included something that I think might be very helpful, if the situation is even half as dire as the papers are showing. The only people who are aware of its existence are you and I. Use it wisely, the ticket is good for more than one trip.
Should you require more of me than I have already done, you only have to name it. Once this is over, Severus can consider my debt to him paid in full, with interest and a generous advance.

                Yours sincerely,
                Headmistress Imogene Bateman
The Academy of Brewers

Severus was right; they were a secretive group if nothing else. Imogene hadn’t even said what she was going to do for them, but her words implied that they wouldn’t be able to miss it once they saw it. He only hoped that it wasn’t too little, too late.
Inside of the envelope was another envelope that read, ‘Bus ticket, do not fingerprint or smudge’. His brow creased as he opened the flap, wondering if he’d ever be able to open the mail again without having his heart leap into his mouth. Obviously, there was going to be no severed body parts inside of this package. What he found instead did indeed appear to be a bus ticket wrapped in a handkerchief. He stared at it dumbly.
Figuring that he had nothing to lose and doubting that his magic would be strong enough to tell him anything of use about this mysterious ‘bus ticket’, he decided that there was no other choice but to trust this woman or include the boys. He reached into the envelope and extracted the ticket and the material it was wrapped in. Nothing happened, so he unfolded the kerchief and went to take a closer look at the voucher.
The second his fingers touched the smooth paper of the ticket, he felt a hook behind his navel – the unmistakable sensation of portkey travel. Before he knew it, he was on the floor, retching with the uniquely horrible, utterly unmistakable sensation only that sort of magical travel could cause. He looked up, finally well enough to get his bearings and found himself – in the living room? What in the hell was that supposed to accomplish?
Carefully, he snuck past the kitchen doorway and back up the stairs. He had the door to his and Severus’ room closed behind him before he realized that he had made the entire trip without the use of his cane. He tucked the ticket back in the packaging it had arrived in and stashed it underneath a small tower of books on his side of the bed. He’d spend the rest of the day thinking about its possible advantages.
He dressed and went to find all of the boys already in the kitchen, the letter in his pocket. Harry was by the stove instructing Teddy on how to stir the eggs, the boy on one side of him, Draco on the other. Teddy was engrossed in the frying pan, as was Harry. Draco touched Harry’s arm lightly to let him know he was reaching across to add a little more seasoning. It was all so easily domestic that he felt rather bad for disturbing it and making them all awkward with his presence.
“Good morning, Remus!” Harry greeted, bumping Teddy playfully with his hip.
“Morning dad!”
And just like that they momentarily wiped away his anxiety. He watched, bemused, as the three of them put together the rest of the meal.

They were halfway through dishes when Darien arrived, knocking briefly and allowing himself in almost in the same movement. “The ball is really rolling now!” he said in way of greeting.
“Yes, unannounced, right through our kitchen,” Draco muttered sarcastically.
Ackerley ignored him. “I don’t know how Severus has managed it from Lanning’s basement, but we have TAB standing behind us.”
“TAB?” Harry asked.
“The Academy of Brewers,” Draco explained. “How so?” he questioned, eyes slightly narrowed.
“They have made the largest donation in the history of their establishment – to us! The papers haven’t arrived yet, but it will be headline news for sure. It seems to have greased the wheels; donations have been pouring in all morning. I’ve had to assign extra staff to help with the accounting.”
“Do you think it will make enough of a difference?” Harry asked skeptically.
“Well, we have a meeting in two days with key representatives from both WIBNA and the Ministry – a meeting they’ve been denying me for almost a solid week now. You tell me. It’s the best news we’ve had since this whole mess started, I can say that much,” Darien said happily. “Brewers tend to stick together and the Academy has been long known to back causes supported by their alumni, but this is completely unprecedented. I’d give my eye teeth to know what made them suddenly decide to go to these lengths to help Severus.”
“I might have had something to do with it,” Remus said uneasily, drawing the attention of the rest of the room. “Please, you can keep your teeth,” he smiled.
“Explain,” Darien said.
Remus produced the note from his pocket and handed it to Ackerley. “I wrote to her yesterday after opening the – mail.” His eyes slid over Teddy as he amended his choice of words. “Severus once told me that she owed him something, and I couldn’t think of any better time for him to start pulling in favors. I hope he won’t be angry with me when he finds out.” It hadn’t occurred to him while he was doing this that a man like Severus would hoard his debts more closely than gold.
“This is damn congenial for Imogene,” he said. “She has a reputation for being a bit nasty. This is a huge strike in our favour,” he passed the note around, “and if Severus is cross about it, I will deal with him, though I more than think he’ll be intelligent enough to see the worth in it.”
“I would think that as well,” was all Harry said, handing the paper back to Remus.
“That would depend on exactly what she owed him,” Draco said idly, “but I doubt he’ll be angry with you.”
“I have more pressing things to talk about than Severus’ temper, if you will; maybe the boy has something else to do for a while?” Darien suggested.
Teddy sighed and jumped off of his chair. “Please let me know when I can come downstairs again? I was hoping we could do some more painting today, if that was alright.”
“That’s more than fine, you and I will pull out the supplies before lunch,” Draco agreed.
“See you later then,” Teddy said, exiting the room.
“What’s going on, Ackerley?” Harry asked. “There’s more happening here than donations, I’m sure, or you wouldn’t have come all of the way down here yourself.”
“Straight to the point then,” Ackerley’s lips twitched. “I’m going to see Severus tomorrow, it’s the halfway meeting with Lanning.”
“Already? Harry asked, startled.
Draco appeared somber. “I was hoping we’d have made more progress by this point. You don’t even have anything encouraging to tell him.”
“That isn’t entirely true,” Darien said slowly. “The meeting that’s scheduled two days from now should enlighten us. I have it on good authority from a contact of mine inside the Ministry that many of the higher ups are not pleased with the kind of publicity Severus’ actions and punishment are garnering. The papers are only helping us on that matter – the articles and photos they’re publishing don’t leave the Ministry looking very in control of this situation. The number of ballots we collected completely blew them out of the water too – I don’t think they expected anything like the response we received from the Wizarding population. Now, with the influx of funds we’re gathering… well, my guess is they’re re-thinking their current course of action faster than a belly laugh can disgruntle a Boggart.”
“I like the sound of that,” Harry said, “but do you think that we can trust it?”
“I think we have to,” Draco said. “It might not be the exact news we were hoping for, but it gives us a platform to argue from that they might be receptive to, at least. I’ll want to read everything you’ve prepared already, Ackerley.”
Darien pulled a very thick roll of parchment from his robe pocket and set it on the table. “I thought you might say that.”
“I’m going with you tomorrow,” Remus said resolutely to Darien.
The table quieted.
“I’m not so sure that’s a good idea,” Harry said carefully. “Besides, I don’t think you can just tag along on something like this, can he Darien?”
Ackerley cleared his throat uncomfortably. “Actually, as he belongs to Severus, he’s the only one of you who could come along.”
“How is that?” Draco asked curtly.
“As Severus’ slave, Remus is permitted by WIBNA and the Ministry to be at any court ordered meeting or event to see to his master’s needs or to accept further orders in his master’s continued absence.”
“I still don’t think you should go,” Harry said adamantly. “It will only upset you, and what will be gained from it?”
“I should think that after what Severus is doing for my son and I, that being ‘upset’ would be the least I could suffer in order to go and be there for him,” Remus said crossly.
“Actually, Mr. Potter,” Darien interrupted before Harry could speak, “if Severus hasn’t left Remus orders not to attend, legally none of us can prevent him from going. These are highly unconventional circumstances, but I believe that truth still holds.”
“Do you think Severus was even aware of that, with everything that was going on at the time?” Draco mused. “I couldn’t imagine him wanting Remus, or any of us for that matter, to go near that place or experience anything like that for any reason, in any way. I believe that is why he went in the first place.”
“You can speculate all you like, but it isn’t a replacement for written instructions, in this case. I’ll give you the night to think it over, Remus. I don’t think you’re going to like what you see there at all, and you will only be given a short time alone with Severus while Lanning and I go through some paperwork. He will have the upper hand in many ways, and if the news is anything to go on, he may leave a bit of a… a spectacle for us when we arrive.”
“You all think I should let this stop me,” Remus said for clarification.
No one said a word otherwise.
“I’m sorry, but that isn’t going to change my mind. I’m going. What time do we leave, Mr. Ackerley?” There was an edge, a determination in his voice that he thought he’d never hear again. The others must not have been immune to it either, as neither Harry nor Draco was meeting his eyes.
“Please, Remus, its Darien,” the solicitor said quietly. “We’ll be leaving here at ten tomorrow morning. It is expected, even in these circumstances, that you are to tend to some of Severus’ immediate needs as well. Even so, we won’t do it overtly – I don’t want our visit to give Lanning cause to up the ante so to speak. I would recommend you bring at most, a water skin. Other than that your presence will be all of the comfort you can really offer.”
Remus nodded, grateful that Ackerley at least wouldn’t fight him on this. “Thank you.”
“I wouldn’t do that quite yet, you may not feel so grateful after tomorrow. I honestly don’t know what we’re going to be walking into so please, try to prepare yourself for anything. Lanning will take considerable pleasure from seeing you in distress, you’ll have to try not to let him get to you.”
“I will do my best,” Remus said. He’d had lots of practice at keeping his face straight and his mouth closed.
“I still don’t think that Severus would want you to go,” Draco said, but his eyes held more apprehension than they did condescension. “He asked me to look out for you and Teddy both, and I have serious doubts that this is in any way in your best interest. I don’t mean to be argumentative, I just feel that I have to at least voice my concern.”
“If you were able to go to him, there, in that place – to remind him that we’re out here waiting for him to come home, to give him a drink of water and to hold his hand, if that bastard,” he couldn’t help but snarl that word, “hasn’t hacked it off or smashed it to pieces – you’re telling me that you wouldn’t go.”
An unknown emotion fluttered across Draco’s face, but it was Harry who spoke. “You know that isn’t what he’s saying, Remus. We’re just all a little out of our depths here and no one knows what the right thing to do is. Of course we want you to be able to reassure Snape, but we don’t want you to do it at the cost of your wellbeing.”
Remus took a deep breath and decided not to argue. He was going to be able to go regardless of what Harry or Draco thought, so what did it matter? Severus completely disregarded his own safety for him and Teddy the moment push came to shove, he wasn’t going to let anything stop him if he could help it.
“Your concerns are noted, boys. If it comes up, I will let Severus know I did this against your better judgment, but I am going ahead with this no matter what your opinions are.” It felt good to be able to assert control over three free Wizards.
Darien cleared his throat. ‘Well it seems that is settled then. I have some things to see to at the Ministry, so I’ll leave you to it. I’ll be here tomorrow at ten to pick you up, Remus.” He stood and collected himself.
“See you in the Morning, Ackerley,” Draco said, something still sounding tight in his voice.
With the solicitor gone the kitchen was oddly silent for a moment.
“I think I’ll go get those paints set up for Teddy,” Malfoy said, standing and moving towards the door.
Remus grabbed his sleeve on the way past. Draco allowed himself to be stopped.
“I was out of line just there,” Remus told him honestly. “I shouldn’t have said that, especially not to you. I’m sorry, Draco.”
Malfoy’s eyes widened in either shock or horror at the overt apology. “Don’t worry about it, we’re all under a great deal of pressure. I understand.” He cleared his throat. “I really am going to get Teddy set up with those paints, I’m still trying to hope he’ll be giving that painting to Severus sooner than later.”
Remus let him go, thinking that was likely the best he was going to get from Draco. He really shouldn’t have said that, it had just come spilling from his mouth. He took a moment to be thankful that he was with people who would let him get away with speaking his mind like that, though it shouldn’t be an excuse.
He was going to see Severus. He felt prematurely ill thinking about what he might see at Lanning’s. The body parts had been a sort of showmanship; he doubted Lanning would miss the opportunity to put on a performance for an actual audience. He was glad that the Full was over and some time away, otherwise there would be no guarantee that he would be able to hold his temper and keep himself from tearing this detestable man apart with his bare hands. As it was, he would just keep his mind focused on Severus, nothing else mattered. He’d give him what comfort he could and count it a blessing to be able to do so.
Harry was giving him a look that made him feel rather angry. “What?”
Harry shrugged. “This is just a bad idea,” he told Remus.
“I’m going.”
“I know you are, but I don’t have to like it. It’s going to cause you a lot of heartache, and I’m not entirely sure what it’s going to achieve.”
“That’s perfectly fine, I’m not asking you to understand. I appreciate your concerns, but they aren’t going to change my mind on this one.”
“I might not like it, but it is nice to see you fighting for something. I’ll do my best to support you through this, Remus, no matter my personal opinions.”
“Thank you, Harry. That means a lot to me.” Remus stood and touched the boy’s shoulder. “I’ve got some thinking to do, if you don’t mind. You should probably go see how those two are doing with those paints. They could probably use another set of hands to help keep the mess down.”
Harry snorted. “Like that’s going to help.” He stood and paused. “If you need anything, Remus…”
“I’ll come find you, I promise.”
“Alright, time to go ruin another set of robes,” Harry ginned and left the kitchen to go find Teddy ad Draco.
Remus stood there, alone and a little lost, for only a moment, before moving to action. He had some planning to do and an unregistered Portkey to ponder.

That night, he couldn’t sleep a wink. He sat in the armchair with his eyes closed, trying to catch a few minutes of sleep without his brain or his heart getting in the way. Teddy woke twice, once to use the loo and once crying hysterically about something he didn’t seem to remember or want to talk about. He settled him with a glass of water and a made up story, lying on the bed on top of the covers until he was sure his boy was solidly asleep again. He tried closing his eyes there, but felt nervous energy building in his body that wouldn’t allow him to stay horizontal for more than a few minutes without the necessity of soothing his son.
He took the jar Severus had left him and crossed the hall to the room that had been ‘his’ when he’d first woken up here. He sat on the bed, feeling that this room was totally devoid of comfort to him now. It was late enough that everyone else in the house should be asleep, so he went back and set a small charm on the bed that would let him know if Teddy woke up. He felt marginally pleased that when he cast the spell and it took and held – at least his magical strength was improving. He took the jar and went downstairs, seating himself in one of the plush chairs and wrapping the blanket sitting over its back around his shoulders.
He sat there quietly and only when he was satisfied that the rest of the house was quiet did he unscrew the lid.
“Hello, Remus,” Severus’ voice washed over him. Remus felt tears spring to his eyes at the sound, blurring his vision. “I hope this finds you well. I don’t have much time after recording Teddy’s jar and that last message for you, I’m sure you are all upstairs wondering exactly what the hell I’m doing down here right now.” Severus chuckled darkly, “After what I just said into this jar, I’m actually speculating myself.
“I have no idea how long you waited to open the jar after that first night, but if I had to guess, I would say this is at least half over. I’ll be home with you and Teddy soon. Make sure he’s alright, Remus. He seems so strong, but I worry that is only because he learned that it was always worse to show weakness. Over the years, his happiness will need careful tending; he’s already survived so much… don’t let me, don’t let this add to it, if you are in any way able. Just - be there for him, I feel obliged to say that even though I know his wellbeing is likely even more important to you than it is to me. Use Draco and Potter to the fullest of their abilities; put them to work if you have to, their age is much more conducive to chasing frogs and climbing trees than ours is.
“The last time I spoke to you, I asked if you have been taking care of yourself. Of course I don’t expect an answer now, but I would anticipate one when I arrive home. Do some reading outside in the sunlight, put a record in the player and enjoy a cup of tea by the fire.” Severus scoffed, presumably at himself. “I don’t even fully know what your interests are, or my list of suggestions would be much longer. If you feel you need anything at all, send Fred into town, he’d gladly bring you whatever you asked.
“I don’t want you to just sit and wallow, Remus. There has been enough of that in both of our lives already. Perhaps your happiness needs careful tending as well. I remember you being the person that could never be defeated, not permanently. No matter how much you lost, how much was taken from you - you could always find a smile and some pleasant conversation for a friend, or even for an old enemy that had no apparent interest in either. It drove me mad during those first few meetings, you must know. I know that whatever resilience got you through all of that – the burden of your lycanthropy, surviving all of that death over the course of fighting two wars - is still a part of you. I look at what you’ve gone through after that and see that you can still laugh honestly, smile with ease and I know that with a little bit of time, you are going to be alright. I’m just waiting for that realization to happen for you, as well. Once it does, I suspect there will be no stopping you. Don’t let this stop you.
“I’ll not waste more of your time prattling on about your inner strength or any other such rubbish, just know that you still have some. I am not without strength either – whatever is being done to me now, I know I will survive. I will return, adjust and move on as I have done countless times in the past. I am hardy, I would not be broken by Riddle and I will certainly not do so for this Healer. I have complete faith in my Occlumency and natural threshold for endurance to get me through this and back home to you in one piece. When I am well enough, the shields will come down and we… well we can speak more about that later, when this is all said and done.
“Thinking back on all I’ve said, I don’t know if I’ve done a very good job of reassuring you about anything after all. I suppose I am trying to assure myself with this as well – that you will flourish while I am gone. Just… take care of yourself Remus, please. I need to know you’re doing that, for your son and yourself and for me. I’ll be seeing you soon, not as soon as I would wish, but soon enough. Soon enough.” Severus’ voice went silent.
The room suddenly felt very large to Remus. He closed the lid on the jar, a ragged breath escaping him. He hadn’t been doing anything right. He was too worried and unhappy to be properly doing as Severus was asking of him, but he was too comfortable and physically content to be as miserable as he felt he should be. He sobbed into his hand, hearing one squeak on the stairs, and then a second.
He turned to see if Teddy was coming to find him and his charm had failed after all, but was surprised instead to find Harry on the landing.
“How long have you been standing there?” Remus asked. He must have been so absorbed by the sound of Severus’ voice that he hadn’t noticed the young man’s footfalls on the steps until it was too late. There was no help for it, he was already weeping and unable to stop himself. Days without proper sleep and the pressure of everything that was happening topped with the cherry of Severus trying to make him feel better were all just too much.
Harry came all of the way down the stairs. He shifted nervously on his feet. “Probably too long,” he admitted. He looked like he wanted to say more, but proceeded on into the kitchen where he could be heard softly cursing and clattering about. When he returned it was with two steaming cups of tea. He them down on the table and handed Remus a handkerchief.
Remus held the piece of cloth over his eyes briefly and then dropped his hands to his lap.
“Can you believe he’s trying to console me?” he voiced the question that had been bouncing around inside of his head aloud to Harry. He picked up his cup and took a long drink of his tea, his mouth felt as if it were full of ash.
“Not really,” Harry said with a wince, “but I’ll admit to hearing it. That was almost motivational, for Snape. He… Teddy seems to be very important to him,” he hesitated, clearing his throat, “and so do you.”
Remus, who almost had his emotions under control, felt another sob wrack him at the words.
“Are you sure it’s a good idea to go and see him tomorrow? You have no idea what state Lanning will leave him in, knowing that you’re coming. I don’t want you to - I just want you to be careful.”
“I have to go, Harry. I need to see him, to let him know…” Remus concluded, almost saying too much in his distress.
Harry ran a hand through his hair, seeing through it all the same. “You – do you think you love him, Remus?”
“Yes,” Remus said in a small voice. Part of his brain just registered that he admitted to loving Severus to a mirror image of James. That it felt like absolution only went to show how pathetic he really was. He only wished Sirius had been standing there to hear it as well.
“I suppose you have to go then,” Harry said with a small twitch of his shoulders. “Though I still wish you wouldn’t.”
Remus drained the rest of his cup in a single go, glad to have something to do with his hands. “Thank you for understanding, Harry.”
“I don’t understand this at all,” Harry clarified, “but it appears to be happening all the same. You’re in love with Snape, Draco is confiding in me about his personal life and I don’t even think that I mind any of it. The world has gone completely mental, that’s all there is to it.”
Remus felt his eyelids droop, suddenly much more tired than he remembered feeling just a moment ago. “Why don’t you finish your tea and we’ll go to bed,” he suggested. “We can talk about this in the morning.”
“Oh, I’m not drinking any of that tea, it’s laced with Sleeping Draught,” Harry said casually.
“It’s what?” Remus asked, startled. “Sleeping Draught requires the use of silver instruments.”
“Not the one Draco brought me from Snape’s lab earlier. We figured you might need some assistance tonight. Turns out we were right.”
“Merlin, with the two of you on the same side everything seems slightly more frightening,” Remus grinned. “I better get somewhere more appropriate for sleeping in the next few minutes then, is what you're telling me.”
“Exactly,” Harry said without remorse.
Remus groaned and headed up the stairs with heavy feet.

The morning of came both too soon and much too slowly. Remus bathed and dressed himself in the finest robes available to him that didn’t belong to his master, the ones he’d worn to the Ministry the fated day Teddy had bit Quinton Lanning. He felt only slightly fuzzy from the potion his tea had been spiked with the night before, but that would fade the more he was up and moved around. He tried being angry with Harry over it, but found he didn’t have it in him. He felt much better after a bit of sleep, even if it was potion induced, and felt that he was much more prepared for whatever the day would bring.
He made sure that he had the Portkey ticket tucked safely in his inside pocket and a large water skin with a strap over his shoulder like a satchel. He checked in the mirror, but it was completely hidden underneath his robes. He brought along his wand as well, though it wouldn’t likely help him due to his rusty skill set, he still felt better with it on his person.
Checking the clock, he found that there was still time before Ackerley came to get him and take him to Lanning’s. He headed down to the kitchen, knowing that he wouldn’t be able to eat anything. His stomach was already tying itself up into knots. He’d just sip some coffee and hope for the best.
Everyone was in the kitchen when he arrived downstairs. The people in it paused and quieted momentarily as he entered, giving him what he assumed were supposed to be encouraging looks.
“You’re dressed up,” Teddy pointed out.
“I’m going out today,” Remus told him, wishing he’d had this conversation with his son last night. He hoped that he was up to it now.
Teddy stopped what he was doing. “Where?” he asked uncertainly. “Can I come?”
“No Teddy, you’re going to be staying home with Fred and Harry and Draco,” Remus told him.
“Where are you going?” Teddy wouldn’t be shaken on that point. Remus realized that he shouldn’t be surprised, in Teddy’s memory there hadn’t been a time where Remus had had the freedom to leave the house without him.
“I am going with Mister Ackerley, and we are going to go and visit Severus for a bit,” he decided on the truth. Snape always seemed to have good luck with Teddy when explaining things to him as they actually were, he was hoping to duplicate those results.
“And I can’t come?” the boy seemed both perplexed and outraged.
“No Teddy, I’m sorry but you can’t. Severus will be home very soon, but the place where he is now, well it isn’t safe for children. I know that he would never forgive me for letting you go there, and I wouldn’t blame him. I know you love him and you want to see him as soon as possible, but it just isn’t going to work this time.”
Teddy looked like he was on the verge of tears, or possibly a temper tantrum, something Remus had never witnessed from him.
“But…” he said plaintively, hugging his dragon tightly and rubbing his fist across his eyes. “But, dad…”
“I’m sorry, Teddy,” Remus told him truthfully.
“He doesn’t want to see me!” Teddy declared, tears now rolling on down his cheeks.
“That just isn’t true,” Remus said, opening his arms and hoping that Teddy would still come to him. The boy didn’t let him down, though he appeared to deliberate about it for a minute before going to his father. “Severus loves you so much. I know that he would do anything for you, to keep you safe. That is why it is so important you stay here.”
“I don’t care if it’s dangerous,” Teddy pouted. “He does dangerous stuff for me! He jumped in front of Harry’s spell and it burned him! I want to go!”
“No, Teddy, I’m sorry but the decision is final. I’m not doing this to be mean or to hurt your feelings. I am doing this because I am your father and that’s what fathers do, they keep their children as safe as they can. I haven’t been able to do that for you in your life nearly as often as I have wanted to, but I can do it now, and so I will. I love you and Severus loves you, but you need to stay here today.”
Teddy’s breath hitched several times, but he nodded. “Okay daddy. I love you too,” he said despondently, giving Remus a quick hug. “I’m going to my room now,” he announced.
“Okay Teddy, I’ll see you when I get home,” Remus told him, his heart lurching in his chest.
Teddy nodded but didn’t say anything in response as he rounded the corner and went up the stairs with none of his usual liveliness.
“Well that was awful,” Remus said to no one particular.
“You did the right thing,” Draco said. “Potter and I will cheer him up while you’re gone. We’ll go mess around in the lab or something.”
Harry groaned.
“What, scared the kid has better technique than you?” Draco smirked.
“Probably,” Harry laughed. “You’re right though, potions do seem to fly his broom.”
“Thank you boys for doing this for me,” Remus told them earnestly.
“Not a problem, just let Severus know we’re all behind him,” Draco said, including Harry in his comment without even looking in his direction to see how it was taken.
“I will,” Remus said.
“We’ll be here when you get back, so if you need someone to talk to or sit with, or watch Teddy while you take some time to yourself, that’s what we’re around for,” Harry told him.
Remus nodded, not exactly trusting his voice. This wasn’t a good sign, he hoped that he wouldn’t fall apart or let Severus down in some way.
Fred appeared in the kitchen. “Darien is being here. He is being on his way to the house.”
“Thank you, Fred,” Remus said.
“You is telling sir that Fred is having words for him when he is being home. You is telling him that Fred is being worried sick,” the elf said with his hands on his hips.
“I’ll tell him, Fred,” Remus said. He wasn’t sure if Fred got his way of speaking about his emotions from Severus or if it had been the other way around.
The elf nodded and disappeared again just as the back door opened a crack.
“Hello?” Ackerley called into the house.
“Come in, Darien!” Draco called back.
“Are you prepared?” Darien said in way of greeting to Remus.
“As much as I think I can be.”
“This Lanning guy is rather notorious in certain circles. There is no way of knowing what we’re going to be walking into as there are no rules for him except that Severus must be in the proper condition to speak with us. I’ll have some paperwork to fill out with Lanning and I believe you can have a few minutes alone with him while I do that.”
“That sounds like it’s as good as it’s going to get. Are we to leave now?” Remus asked.
“If you're ready, then we’re set to go.”
Remus stood. “See you in a few hours, boys.”
He followed Ackerley to the edge of the wards and allowed himself to be Apparated away with the solicitor.

A/N: Hello and sorry it's been so terribly long! This last year was fraught with perils, so here's hoping for a smoother 2018. Thank you for your patience and insightful comments. I feel as if I must have rewritten this stupid chapter twenty times, and I really hope you enjoy the way it ended up. Please let me know your thoughts! More to follow as I am able.
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The Long Road