The game and love

53

It was all Draco could to keep himself from cracking. He'd gone to stay with his mother and son in California. The constant calls from reporters followed him there, but atleast his mom was there to tell them in no uncertain terms to fuck off. He hadn't really explained the breakup to her properly. He couldn't. She hadn't pressed him either, he thanked her for that. His bright spot during the day was feeding Lucius, or reading him a story. When he didn't have that distraction, he always turned on the sports news. He found humor in all the stories circulating about his injury, more exactly, how he got it. He smiled bitterly. Looking at his hand.

The news on his hand wasn't all bad. He had his second surgery last week and thinks looked clean according to the doctor. Ron and Hermione were on vacation, so he could only share the news with his mom. She thought it was great. He didn't know what to think. He knew he had to wait three more weeks, before he could even start rehab. He looked forward to that, it was a distraction and he needed as many as he could get. He switched through the channels on the tv, sunken into the couch, he came across a music video. It read 'Where you wanted to be' It was one of Harry's hits. He wanted to change it instantly, but foun himself lacking the will.

"Why do you do this to yourself sweetie?" Narcissa had suddenly swept into the room. Draco didn't even flinch in surprise. He sighed as the video finished on the tv. Thousands of reasons flowed through his head. He didn't know which one was correct. He shrugged his shoulders. It was the only honest thing he could say, he didn't know.

"Mom, do you think I'm a failure?" Draco asked, eyes still on the tv, which was now on a commercial. She walked over and took the remote off the couch coushin by Draco's left hand and sat down. She looked sad. Narcissa had never been one that was good at serious life talks, that had always been her husbands domain. He was the one with the perspective. She was the happy-go-lucky one that made you feel better if you had a bad day. She wished her son's father were here now. She could see in his blank empty stare how much he needed some direction right now.

"I don't think you are a failure honey." She said softly. "Look at me." He did. Dead in the face. It hurt her to see that empty look, but she pressed on. "Draco Malfoy, you have been a great son." She searched for more words. "I am very, very proud of you. Even if things aren't great right now, that's when we know we're strong enough to face the world." She brought his eyes into hers. "You have to be brave now son, don't be sad or afraid. Just face what comes, I'll be there with you. I promise." She breathed again and let out an labored breath. "I know I broke many of my promises to you over the years Draco, I wish I could take that back, you deserved better, but I promise you, on my honor that I won't do that again." She seemed to search him for his understanding of what she had said. When she thought she found it, she left him alone again, hoping that somehow he would break through this emptiness.

Draco had taken in all the words she had said. Each one of them was like a hammer smack against his chest. He felt so empty, directionless. His whole life was going to change. In his mind, he made a decision. He went to his room. The stuff he'd packed from Harry and his home was all out on his bed. He wanted to give his mom something, to show he appriciated her words. As he looked, he became more panicked. He spotted the envelope with his dad's letter and ring inside, but there was just one problem. He couldn't find the ring. He searched through the piles of clothes and items he'd strewn everywhere in the last month. He searched for about an hour when he realized what he'd actually done with it.

Draco was sick to his stomach. He'd been playing with the ring in a bout of depression after having learned of Harry's moving out. In a fit of anger he'd thrown it across the bedroom. He didn't know where it might be now. He was glad he and Harry had not discussed selling the house yet. He had to get back there. He laid on his bed contemplating what to do. He tossed and turned with daydreams of horrible conversations with Harry. He'd left the keys for the house with Harry's manager Scott when he'd left for his mom's he wanted Harry to have the place, since his studio was there.

He played with his cellphone for the next half hour. Dialing Harry's number until the last digit and then closing the phone. He was in agony. He wanted to hear Harry's voice, but at the same time, he didn't want to hear it. He battled with himself for another few times before he let it ring through. His throat tightened as a familiar voice answered.

"Hello?" Harry answered casually.

Draco's throat was too tight, he couldn't speak. He had not heard Harry's voice in almost two months. There was so many things that he wanted to say. So much he wanted to apologize for, but he was brought out of his thoughts which seemed an enternity long when Harry spoke again.

"Who's this?! Hello?" Harry said, irritation in his tone. He waited a few more moments before he said something else. "I don't have time..." His voice cut off as he heard a familiar, but clearly strained voice on the other line.

"Harry? Wait, please, don't hang up. I'm sorry to call, but I need your help." Draco's words were quick and smashed together. Harry was angry. He didn't need this call now. He sighed.

"And?" He snapped, beckoning Draco to continue.

"It's my dad's ring, I lost it in our...I mean the bedroom." He'd said 'our' He cursed himself bitterly. "I gotta find it Harry, I just have to, will you help me? You are always so good at looking for things." Draco's tone was desperate.

Harry wanted more than anything to be cold and hurtful. However, he had watched Draco's dad die, something about that memory wouldn't let him be angry. He relented his own feelings and breathed a soft sigh. "When can you get here Draco?" He asked in a soft, but emotionless tone.

"I can leave tommorrow morning and be there by the afternoon." Draco said, fighting the tightness that had returned to his throat.

"Call my phone when you get here. I will meet you and we will look." Harry hung up without saying goodbye. Draco dropped the phone at his side and placed his hands over his face and screamed in pain.

Harry didn't know why the call had upset him so much. He tried everything to get back on the roll of singing to the track that Scott was playing, but he didn't have it anymore. He couldn't shake the saddness in his head. Scott looked at him, concerned about his sudden change in mood, but Harry refused to speak on the matter. Harry had wanted to make everything ok again, but for some reason he couldn't.

He bitterly cursed himself. Sitting in Scott's guest room, where he now lived over the last two months. Harry knew this wasn't home, but he didn't feel like the big mansion was home without Draco either. He hated this, he wanted more than anything to go back to Draco and put everthing behind them, but he wouldn't let himself. He wanted Draco to make some kind of gesture or something. He didn't know why, but he felt like he would know what it was when it happened. He thought of the baby. He missed Lucius, but it wasn't even really his child. He felt he had no claim to him and Draco was a good man, atleast when it came to his son. His chest clenched up. He never wanted this to happen, but it did. As he cried for the first time since that early morning in Tampa, he grieved. All alone, he grieved.

When Draco's plane finally landed in Seattle, he got off the plane and felt as if he was in a foriegn country. Even though this had been his home for seven years, he didn't recognize it. A limo picked him up at the Airport and drove him to his home. He felt anxiety as he rode up the long driveway. When the limo finally stopped, it took all the strength he had to get out and walk up to the door. Harry was standing there. His face unreadable. Draco tried to avoid his eyes.

As Harry watched the man who had held his heart for so long a jumble of feelings ran through his mind. He felt like he wanted to run up and kiss Draco, then part of him wanted to hate Draco. It was so confusing and overwhelming, he was glad Draco seemed to be avoiding eye contact, he couldn't help but wonder if he might get lost in them if he did.

"Shall we go in?" Harry asked as he twisted the knob on the door. It creaked open and it reminded Harry of how Draco had laughed when they first came here to look at the place. He'd always promised Harry he would fix that creak. Harry pushed the memory out of his mind as he followed Draco to the bedroom. He saw the protective brace on the man's hand and fought the urge to start casual conversation about it, he didn't want this to be anymore painful for himself than it already was.

Harry tried to be as kind as he could as he questioned Draco about what had happened to the ring. Draco wasn't looking at him. The man stood at 6'4", but to Harry, he seemed very small. He felt a soft spot forming in his heart. He cursed it bitterly. Feeling like this was a trick to get Harry to be in the room with him. Draco hadn't said a word, no apologies were uttered. Harry was glad. He didn't want to hear it. Everyone could apologize, but he wanted something else, he just didn't know what yet.

Draco just sat on the edge of the bed that he'd shared with Harry for 7 years. His hands were moving, trying to expell the nervousness he felt. He caught Harry working a little out of the corner of his eye. His heartached, he wanted to just say anything, but he was afriad Harry might leave. His mind seemed desperate to make him say something and just as he thought his mouth would move and words he didn't want to speak would come out. Harry spoke.

"Found it." He said triumphantly. Happier than he'd meant to sound. He got up from his knees and walked over to where Draco was sitting and held out the ring. Draco took it, momentarily touching Harry's palm with the tips of his fingers. The little touch sent a jolt through both of them. Harry eyed him quizically.

"why would you throw that around anyway? I know how much it means to you Draco." Harry asked stern and tall.

"Because, it's, nothing, nevermind." He was too ashamed to look Harry in the face. Harry was now glaring a hole in his head.

"Well, I'm glad I spent the last 45 minutes looking for it since it's nothing." Harry snapped. Suddenly, he remembered something he was going to ask Draco after they found the ring. "I want to sell this place Draco. Once you're able I want you to sign the paperwork so we can be done with this." Draco didn't move. Harry knew he'd heard him. Without a final word spoken, he picked up the jacket he'd worn and walked out the door into a cold and rainy Seattle day.

After a few minutes Draco looked at the ring. This simple gold band, it meant so much to him. He smiled sadly. He replayed Harry's words in his head. He answered them truthfuly this time to the silence.

"I was going to ask you to marry me Harry." Tears started to try and fall, but he held them back and clenched his left hand around the ring. He had been so stupid.

End chapter 53
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A/N: Damn me, Damn me to hell for all this saddness. Please review.