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Learning Life Over	By : Meander Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Harry/Draco Views: 69712 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 53
- 54
- 55
Chapter 54- Confrontations

�� Draco had
made sure the Manor was perfect for Harry�s visit, and he now arranged the same
thing for Narcissa�s. He�d let Trippy have permission to redecorate the
library, which she�d begged for whenever she thought he was in a good mood, and
when his mother came to visit him there, Draco made sure the air was full of
dust, disassembled bookshelves, new bookshelves waiting to be put into place,
books with house-elves carefully checking their spines and pages for damage,
and the smell of paint. He sat on a chair in the middle of it all, as
undisturbed, at least outwardly, as he had been when Harry walked in.

�� And even
if it�s only outwardly, that�s the same as having inner serenity if no one can
sense the difference.��

�� Narcissa halted
in front of him with a scented handkerchief held to her nose. �Draco?� she
asked. �What is the meaning of this?�

�� Hmmm?�
Draco glanced up as if he hadn�t heard her approach. That would probably not
fool her, but he knew she would be wondering exactly how he could keep
his face so calm and clear. �Oh. Hello, Mother. I thought I�d like the library
redecorated.�

�� A faint
line appeared between her brows, but was gone in the next moment. She spelled a
chair free of dust and sat down, watching him. Draco watched her back, and
wondered if she would speak first. She did.

�� Have you
changed your mind about finding a daughter-in-law for me?�

�� She
speaks as if my wife would be her lover instead. That brought images to
mind that Draco really didn�t want to think about. He cleared his throat and
said, �Of course not, Mother. Where would you receive that impression?�

�� Your Mr.
Potter is no longer in residence here.�

�� Yes,�
Draco said. �But I�m speaking with him, and we�re doing what we can to
reconcile our differences.�

�� Narcissa
leaned forward. �Draco,� she said, and her voice shone with all the affection
she�d ever felt for him, probably. �I did this for you. I freed you from him so
that you could continue with your life. No blame will attach to you for his
storming out like that, and he won�t mention the true circumstances to the Prophet,
I�m certain. Why won�t you take the chance that I gave you?�

�� I don�t
want it.� Draco tilted his head. �And, please, Mother, I am not so blind. I
know that you did this for yourself and for the continuation of the Malfoy
line, not for me.�

�� Narcissa
uttered a sigh that wouldn�t have been fit to ripple the surface of a goldfish
pond. �My welfare and the continuation of the Malfoy line were also important
to you, I had thought.�

�� Draco gave
a little nod. �Half right. The first still matters to me. The second, no.�

�� Narcissa
narrowed her eyes. �And may I ask why?�

�� It was
amazing, Draco thought, what the worst blow having fallen on his connection
with Harry could make him capable of braving. He didn�t feel the need, now, to
subdue his objections and pretend to Narcissa that he would marry someday.
Courage rode inside him, along with a cool, clear anger, and an almost sweet
surprise. He had been afraid of her? Why should he be? He was not
Blaise, whose mother held the purse strings and the leading strings. And if
Narcissa had not learned, by now, what he was, she had been willfully deceiving
herself. He had not lied to her.

�� Because I
plan to love and live with a man,� he said, flavoring his voice with
scorn as fresh as apples. �Really, Mother, no matter what Severus may have told
you about those experimental potions, none of them have worked yet. I would
still need a woman to conceive a child, and I won�t have one.�

�� Narcissa�s
breathing quickened by a tiny amount, and her eyelids drooped. Draco watched
her.

�� There are
other ways, Draco,� Narcissa said finally. �They have worked in the past. The
war left many women of our own class- desperate. For some consideration, they
may assent to conceiving and carrying a child even without the- bonds- that
normally attend such a thing.�

�� Draco�s
eyebrow crept up his face; he could feel it rising. �I suppose this is the
place for me to mention that I plan on complete fidelity to Harry.�

�� You cannot
do this,� said Narcissa. �You are throwing away every prospect you have, every
hope of happiness.�

�� No,� Draco
said calmly. �You tried to make me throw that away. And two years ago, when I
didn�t care about anyone the way I care about Harry, it would even have worked.
My pride couldn�t stand the embarrassment. But I�ve changed now. I will not say
grown up, because I think Harry would disagree, and I need to think more
on the matter myself. We�ll settle, in every sense of the term.�

�� Narcissa�s
hand clenched down hard enough to rip the silk handkerchief in two. �And what
will your friends say to this?� she asked. �Your social circles? Wizarding
society?�

�� I think
wizarding society will find the reemergence of the Man-Who-Killed-Voldemort
interesting indeed,� said Draco, and again let a faint smile come to his lips.
�And Harry has had a rather forceful reminder- one I did not even engineer- of
the fact that I�m a Slytherin. He won�t be happy that I plan on using his fame
to claim the honors and comfort and attention we should have, but he�ll argue
with me about it instead of being shocked and horrified and dropping me the way
you intended he should.�

�� You plan
for yourself no peace, Draco,� Narcissa whispered. �What I wanted to see for
you- �

�� Was living
a life like the one you had with Father,� Draco finished. �Yes, I know,
Mother.�

�� He could
understand it. He could even pity her. That was why he felt only that clear,
cold anger about what she had done; it was so like her. Did one hate an
adder for biting, when that was its nature? Truth be told, he should have seen
this coming and outsmarted her in the first place.

�� And no, I
hardly think the life Harry and I have will be peaceful, or collected, or calm,
or restrained.� He slung one leg over the other in a deliberately casual pose,
and grinned at her, which appeared to scandalize her. �I am rather looking
forward to the storm. It will keep me from getting bored when the sheer novelty
of having him in my bed has passed.�

�� Draco- �

�� You can
watch us from a distance, but you can�t interfere.� Draco leaned forward. �I�m
forbidding you from coming back to the Manor for a year. We have properties in
France where you can entertain yourself. Also, the moment you passed into my
house today, you came under a spell that insures you�ll suffer intolerable
nightmares if you set up plans to hurt Harry bodily. I can�t keep you from
insulting him, God knows, but plan assassination or wounding, and I doubt your
pillow will see much of your head.�

�� Narcissa�s
face truly was marble now, hard and pale and astonished. �I am your mother.�

�� Draco
raised an eyebrow. �That fact has not escaped my attention.�

�� Harry
wouldn�t want you to lose your mother.�

�� Harry is
not me,� Draco said, �and our ways of doing things are not the same. He�ll come
to terms with it.�

�� Narcissa
spent some moments looking at him. Draco looked back.

�� He and
Narcissa had danced a dance like this for years, with her plotting to make him
do what she wanted, and him plotting ahead as much as he could. She had never
gone this far, but then again, he had never advanced as far into the future
with a lover as he planned to do with Harry. Draco saw this as just another
episode in their struggle, another turn in the dance. Narcissa would never give
up trying to control him, and he would never give up resisting.

�� In a way,
he thought it was how she showed her love for him.

�� Sooner or
later, Harry would understand that.

�� Finally,
Narcissa inclined her head and stood up. �I wish you better luck than you have
obtained with a lover so far, my son.�

�� Draco
leaned his head on his left arm and smiled. �Trippy will show you out. Goodbye,
Mother.�

*

�� Mr.
Potter. Thank you for coming.�

�� Madam
Bones�s voice was clipped and cool. Harry supposed that was meant to intimidate
him. As it was, he had to bite his lip to contain a smile as he rose to his
feet in the anteroom outside her office. He could feel the moment when
she noticed that he wasn�t wearing official Auror robes, but casual ones; her
eyes raked him like centipede legs running over his skin.

�� Hello,
Madam,� he said, and followed her into her office, shutting the door behind
him. He could spare her embarrassment, which might happen if she started
shouting. Harry didn�t intend to shout himself. He sat down in front of the
desk and nodded to her. �I received your letter.�

�� Yes.� She
relaxed as she sat down behind the desk, and the light glinted on her glasses
as it had a thousand times when she gave him his cases. �So you�re here to come
back to work?�

�� Not as
such.� Harry coughed to contain his chuckle. He wasn�t sure why he felt
so happy. Maybe all employees felt like this when they could tell their bosses
to sod off. �I�m here to tell you that I won�t be returning to the Ministry.�

�� She stared
at him.

�� At least,
not in this capacity,� Harry amended. �It�s possible that I might someday work
for the Ministry. Just not as an Auror.� His world was wide, opening up before
him. I have Draco to thank for that. Of all the things he�s taught me- well,
besides what it�s like to be in love- that�s most valuable. And God, it�s a
pain in the arse being in love with someone who believes things so entirely
different from me.

�� Harry.�
Madam Bones�s voice was low and earnest, and she leaned across the desk towards
him. �You know how badly we need you.�

�� Here it
was. The test. Harry could imagine himself crumbling before this even now, if
his will wasn�t strong enough and she chose the right words. He fixed his eyes
on her face and nodded.

�� So- �

�� I know
that you�ve trained yourselves to need me,� Harry said calmly. �With time,
you�ll fill the hole I�ve left. You have good Aurors, Madam. I�ve seen
them. I�ve trained with them- and sometimes, I think, trained them.� Looking
back now, he wondered that it had taken Draco to point out to him how the
Ministry used him as a kind of unofficial (and unpaid) teacher for recruits
they weren�t sure about. Sure, everyone had incompetent partners a time or two,
but the rate of change for him was so high that he�d got more than his fair
share. And Madam Bones had never encouraged someone to stay and work with Harry
and get used to his eccentricities, either, or encouraged Harry to change so
that he worked better with the others. They�d left him as he was because he was
of more use to them that way.

�� It was- well,
it would never make him as angry as it made Draco, and Draco would just have to
come to terms with that. But it irritated him, and it was one of the larger
factors in his not coming back to work.

�� None as good
as you, Harry.�

�� Harry
snorted and met her eyes fully. �I don�t think that�s true. They�ll work well
if you give them the chance.�

�� Madam Bones
pulled off her glasses and rubbed her face with one hand. The new insight in
Harry�s head, which he had taken to thinking of as his suspicious Slytherin
voice, pointed out that she had no reason to show vulnerability in front of
him. Probably, this was just part of another ruse to convince him to come back.

�� Do you
remember the oath of service Aurors take?� she asked.

�� Of
course.� The words thundered through Harry�s head if he thought about them;
he�d been required to repeat them for weeks during his training, until he knew
them by heart. The part that had always meant most to him was to chase down
Dark wizards and others who are a threat to the general peace; to confine them
until such time as their guilt or innocence can be determined; to hold back
from unnecessary bloodshed while we do so.

�� I had
thought it meant more to you than that,� Madam Bones said, and put her glasses
back on. �That�s all.�

�� Harry
narrowed his eyes, truly angry for the first time. �You�re trying to tell me
that the victims will suffer without me?�

�� Of course.
Wormwood�s botched the Moly case completely, as much as I hate to admit it.�
Madam Bones grimaced as if she�d swallowed a sour apple. �You could have solved
it in a few days. You�re a good interrogator, Mr. Potter, and good at- �

�� Driving
myself into near-suicidal insanity.�

�� I never
saw any sign of insanity.�

�� Were you looking?�
Several papers rearranged themselves on Madam Bones�s desk, and Harry took a
deep breath, trying to gain control of his magic. He saw her looking at the
sheets of parchment, though, and decided this could be the perfect
demonstration. �That�s what I mean, Madam. I was repressing my emotions,
and my wandless magic rises with my emotions. Sooner or later, my control would
have broken- perhaps when someone challenged me on a case with a curse too
similar to the one I saw used on my godfather, perhaps when I encountered a
large killing like the Weasley Massacre- and I could have destroyed half of
London.� He met her eyes, willing her to understand. He truly didn�t think she
was evil, just too used to leaning on him. He�d never resisted, for years and
years and years; why shouldn�t she think this was just a passing fancy? �Draco
Malfoy was good enough to show me how fragile my control was, and while it�s
much more stable now, it won�t be if I continue to work as an Auror. I take the
cases too seriously. I fret myself over them when there�s nothing to be done. I
work hours that are too long.� He paused, and then gave in to curiosity,
because he had to ask. �Why didn�t you ever make me take a holiday? I know you
did it with other Aurors who�d spent too long on a case.�

�� You never
seemed near a collapse.� Madam Bones folded her arms. �You were too good.� She
was trying to make it sound like it was his fault, of all things.

�� And there
was no one to complain,� Harry muttered. Yes, my lack of family and friends
did make it easier to ignore what I did. If I�d had Draco during those years, I
imagine he would have raised quite the fuss. �But there are still
regulations to follow, Madam, about making sure Aurors take a certain number of
days off a year. If I�m doing the maths correctly, I should have an enforced
holiday of six months before I even begin to work again. And yet here
you are, trying to urge me back to my job as soon as possible. Why?�

�� She
wouldn�t look him in the eye.

�� Harry sat
back and thought for a moment. The suspicious Slytherin voice told him to
consider power, and sources of power, and what power followed.

�� Did I
really earn that much funding for the Department?� he asked her, a trace
of sadness in his voice.

�� I meant
money to her, and solved cases. And that really was all.

�� Pain wanted
to strike him. He wouldn�t let it. Even if he had been bleeding at the heart
from a complete break with Draco, he wouldn�t have given in to this pain. He
could make new connections, and he would.

�� You have
no idea what you earned, Mr. Potter.� Her eyes were steady again, and her voice
utterly cool.

�� Harry
nodded, and stood. �That�s because I had no idea what I was worth,� he said.
�Well. Now I do, and I�m leaving the employment of the Aurors permanently. Good
day, Madam Bones.�

�� Wait,
Harry.� Her voice was frantic. He glanced back at her. �If we made sure that
you had the correct number of days a year off, if we- �

�� Harry shook
his head slightly. �I don�t trust myself, even if I could trust you,� he said.
�I�d fall into the trap again. And I have someone who needs me now, who risked
a lot to bring me out of that trap in the first place. I won�t do that to him.�

�� Madam Bones
frowned at him. �Are you sure that you can trust him, Harry? A Death Eater�s
son, a Death Eater himself- �

�� The
paperwork boiled up from her desk and hit her in the face. At the same time,
her chair rattled and dumped her to the floor. Harry distinctly heard the
impact of her tailbone with the wood.

�� See?� he
managed to say calmly, even cheerfully, though his heart was beating hard, and
his mind screamed with fury. �I really wouldn�t be a good candidate for the
Aurors any more. That damn accidental magic, always escaping my control. Good day.�

�� He shut her
door with an impact more emphatic than a slam as he left. Then he stood in the
center of the hallway and breathed for a moment.

�� I�ve
burned my bridges now.

�� The
suspicious Slytherin voice sounded exactly like Draco when it said, Good.

��
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Learning Life Over