Adult-FanFiction.org : Harry Potter

The Long Road	By : SinisterMe Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Snape/Remus Views: 63607 -:- Recommendations : 3 -:- Currently Reading : 18
Disclaimer: This is a work of fan fiction using characters from the Harry Potter world, which is trademarked by J. K. Rowling. This story is purely for entertainment purposes, no money is being made from it.

Chapter List
- 53
- 54
- 55
By the time Darien returned, they had all had a small dose of SoberUp potion and were chomping at the bit to go. Teddy fidgeted endlessly and Remus did his best to try and reassure him, the words and gestures coming across as less believable than he would have liked. He wished there was someone who could try to do the same for him, as thoughts of what Lanning could have done to Severus in the time since they’d left him thundered about his head. He tried to steel himself; they would deal with it all as it came. They would do it together.
Harry and Draco had gone ahead with Teddy and would be waiting for them at St Mungo’s. Ackerley had helped him to Apparate to their destination. He found himself walking with Darien down the same path he’d been ill on the other day, though no sign of it remained there now. Walking up to the steps by the front door, they were met by two mediwizards that were just shaking off the discomfort of Apparition.
“You two are prepared for what may meet us inside?” Darien asked them in greeting at the bottom of the steps.
“I was a medic in the war,” the woman informed them.
“Is it really going to be that bad? I’ve worked with Quinton for years and he’s never given me reason to think he’s anything but on the up and up,” the young man standing beside her said hesitantly.
“I’m telling you now, for your own good, that you should get that idea out of your head right now. I was here two days ago and not one thing past the main floor of this house was on the ‘up and up’. You’re here to get Severus to St Mungo’s, but you’re also here to make an assessment of the premises and its occupants. Lanning knows that we are here to retrieve Severus, but in order to preserve the integrity of what you will see today, he has not been informed that you are also reporting to the Ministry. I would appreciate if you did nothing to disabuse him of that notion.”
“Yes sir,” they both said, responding to his authoritarian tone of voice.
“Let’s get going, I don’t want to waste another minute out here. Keep your eyes and ears open, and remember that your memories may be called upon for viewing by the Ministry, and later by the Wizengamot, should this go to trial.”
They both nodded, following him up the stairs. Remus took up the rear as was his station. His heart must have been beating directly beside his eardrums, he could hear each pump it made as he followed them into the picturesque home. As before, an elf met and ushered them inside past two wizards obviously there for protection. Without the usual bowing and scraping she led them directly into the basement.
Everything was as it had been the day before. The two mediwizards had stopped in their tracks inside the first room where the operating table and pen of slaves resided. Remus caught up to Darien, taking a moment to look back at the appalled and confused faces of their companions.
The people held in the cages were easily more horrified at the sight of additional medical staff than the staff were at the sight of them. Their eyes were all to the floor, bodies as unmoving as they had been the other day. One woman broke from the motionless position she had been so desperately trying to hold. Beginning to rock back and forth she begged, “I’m dead already, just kill me. Please, just kill me.”
“Christ,” the female mediwizard cursed under her breath.
“Is Snape one of these?” asked the man.
“No, he’ll be in the next room,” Darien said, giving them one last moment to take it all in. The operating table with its cart of pristine instruments set up directly beside the occupied cage likely said enough on its own.
“What is he doing down here?” the female mediwizard out loud.
The door opened and Quinton could be seen standing there, smiling and raising his hands in welcome as if greeting old friends. “I thought I heard voices,” he said cheerfully. “I suppose you’re here to take my Severus away from me. We were hoping to have some more time together, but he is getting rather worn out, so maybe it’s for the best. He’s through here,” he welcomed them into the other room by extending his arm with his palm facing the ceiling. His eyes lit up with recognition. “David, nice to see you again, it’s been some time.”
“I was promoted,” David, the male mediwizard, told him, but there was very little friendliness in his stone.
Lanning didn’t notice or didn’t care. “Congratulations,” Quinton praised as he walked past him.
“Thanks,” Dave said with no enthusiasm.
“Well, I’ve got him on the floor, laid out and ready to go. I doubt he’ll even notice you move him at this point,” Lanning said, waving over to where Severus was extended on the ground.
He was unclothed and though he was unconscious, the fingers and thumbs of both his hands stuck up at peculiar angles. His face was a mass of bruises, both eyes puffing out of his skull with one leaking fluid and unable to completely close. His leg had been opened up again and had been left that way, inches and inches of muscle, nerves and bone left exposed to the open air. There seemed no end to the injuries inflicted on his body. The ribs on one side of his body were concaved, one of them peeking meekly through the side of his torso, oozing blood and clear fluid. His breathing was labored and involved a shrill sound with every inhale, red froth expelling from his mouth upon every exhale.
“You look upset, and why wouldn’t you? I’ve gone and made so much extra work for you! If you need me to, I’ll happily reset him for you,’ Lanning offered.
The mediwizards sprung to action, casting spells and crouching beside Severus even as Lanning was speaking.
“Reset him?” David asked even as he was casting spell after spell to protect Severus’ leg from further damage.
“Yes, if I kill him all of his injuries will heal themselves. Haven’t you been reading the papers? Personally, I’ve made a scrap book. Would you like to see it?” he inquired.
“As soon as we laid eyes upon him, he was under our care. You can’t kill him,” the woman snapped, staunching the flow of blood from the rib that had broken through Severus’ flesh.
“That’s right, isn’t it?” Lanning gloated outright. “You won’t allow him to die if you can help it, not once you’ve started helping him. Policy and all that. I suppose you’ll just have to treat him then, pity for him.”
“Do you think you can establish a gurney under him?” David asked the woman, ignoring Quinton.
“I can,” she confirmed, conjuring a stretcher directly under Severus, causing his prone body to lift off of the ground and straight onto the cushion of it. “Done.”
“We can’t waste time, we need to get him to the hospital. Is he stable enough to travel like this?”
“He has to be. I’ll Apparate with him,” the woman said, “but I’ll need you to help.”
“On it,” David said, standing at the head of the stretcher. The witch took up the feet, and with a spell, Severus was floating, supported in the air between them both. “I’ll steady him, you side long the gurney.”
The witch gave a single nod. In unison they cast a spell and all three of them were gone.
Remus, standing uselessly beside Darien, felt as if a piece of himself went with them.
“No one can say I didn’t try to help,” Lanning shrugged.
Lupin’s anger returned him to life. “As if you didn’t know they’d have to treat him in whatever condition you left him in.”
Lanning made an empathetic face, “I’m sorry, if you wanted to watch him die again I would have invited you over a smidge earlier. Though if you hurry to St Mungo’s you might be able to catch it, depends on whether the staff are having an off day or not.”
Darien grabbed Remus’s shoulder before he could respond, dragging him away from Lanning as he said over his shoulder, “Get bent, Quinton.” When they were a few steps away he said to Remus, “Alright?”
Remus nodded, not trusting his voice. As they took the depressing walk back to the main floor of the house, an idea took hold in his mind and wouldn’t let go. When they passed the cages, he slipped the envelope Imogene had sent him from his robes and handed it to the sad little boy in the cage, holding the pointer finger of his other hand up over his lips in a plea for silence.

The entrance to St Mungo's smelled of antiseptic, the walls and fixtures were clean whites and polished steel. It was also bustling with reporters, who recognizing them almost immediately, surged forward in an overwhelming wave of questions and camera flashes. Darien cast a shielding charm and walked Remus through it the best he could. Once they were through the big double doors, the sound and commotion stopped instantly as they clicked shut behind them.
Darien walked up to an agitated witch sitting behind the counter, ignoring the people with odd and impossible injuries and ailments that were waiting to be admitted. She seemed to be trying to hide behind her clipboard.
“Excuse me Miss,” Darien said, “We’re here for Severus Snape. What room is he in?”
Her face curdled. “No one is to see him now. You’ll have to wait outside with the rest of them.”
“I’m his legal representation and this is his slave. I’m afraid I’ll have to insist.” Darien presented a badge from the inside of his robes.
“My apologies sir,” she said, passing the badge back to him. “There have been people coming all day trying to get in to see him. As far as I can tell, all they want to do is gawk. We do not support that here.” She shuffled through some papers. “Floor Six – The Dumbledore Wing for Terrible Trauma and Dire Disorders, the hospital’s most recent addition.”
“Thank you,” Darien inclined his head. Walking away he said to Remus, “I’m sure we’ll see Draco and Mr. Potter up there. Follow me.”
Remus obliged him, following dumbly as if he wasn’t driving his own body around. He took in very little of the passing surroundings, listening only to the echo of their footfalls down the long hallway. They rounded a corner and were met with the sight of Teddy, Harry and Draco seated on a bench opposite the door with the number the receptionist had given them.
Teddy stood and ran to them, bypassing Darien entirely and winding his arms around Remus’ middle. “He’s in there daddy, but they won’t let us inside!” The child was shaky, his words coming out stressed and speedily.
“They’re helping him, Teddy. They can’t do that properly if they’re tripping over all of us,” Remus hugged his boy to him, allowing himself to feel a small measure of relief in the midst of everything.
“Has there been any word?” Darien asked Draco.
“They’ve told us he’s critical, but nothing more,” Malfoy answered tiredly. “I imaging we’ll be waiting here a while.”
“What happens if he… expires in there?” Harry asked, choosing his words carefully so as not to upset Teddy. “Will it work the same as if Lanning did it?”
“It will work the same no matter how it occurs. We have time yet to rejoin him and his soul fragment before it is too late,” Darien told them. “Once that happens, we’re assured that healing will be swift, complete and will remove any and all injuries.”
“Why don’t we just do that now, instead of putting him through all of this?” Remus asked.
“The chair from the ceremony is being transported to the hospital now,” Darien said. “There is, of course, a hang up.”
“Which is?” Draco asked irately.
“Two of the wizards that preformed the ceremony are out of the country at present. They are being summoned, but it may take some time for them all to be gathered.”
“It needs to be the same people preforming the return ritual?” Draco asked, outraged. “What would have happened if one of them had died?”
“Let’s just be glad that isn’t the case. The ritual could still be done, but adding a different magical signature would take a much larger toll on both Severus and the casting mages. Either way, that isn’t what is happening here. They are being gathered – we should know sometime tonight how long it will take to get everything in order. I’m sorry, but it’s the best I could do.”
“No one is blaming you, Darien,” Harry said.
There was a lull in conversation where Teddy asked timidly, “He might …expire? Do you mean like milk or …or the wrong potion left in the sun?”
“He’s going to be alright,” Remus said instead of directly answering the question. “He’s hurt very badly, but they’re making him better as we speak.”
Remus could practically see Teddy puzzling things through in his mind. “…You mean he might die?” his shrill voice ripped down the hall. His breathing hitched and he turned and ran down the corridor before anyone could react to grab him, dragon abandoned behind.
Remus was after him like a shot, pleased that his body could move so quickly now. There was no pain or weariness as he jogged after his boy. Teddy turned sharply and pushed open a door, going inside the room like a bolt of lightning. Looking up, Remus saw it was the men’s loo. One of the boy’s must have taken him here before him and Darien arrived. He slowed, pushing the door open quietly and stepping inside.
“Teddy?” he inquired of the seemingly empty room.
A sob was heard from the last stall.
Remus walked to the end of the room and pushed against the door, finding it locked. He took his wand from his pocket and with a whispered spell the door was swinging open. What met him inside shocked him enough that he took a step backwards.
“Teddy?” This time his voice came out strangled and terrified.
Instead of being met with the beautiful face of his child, he found himself looking at someone unrecognizable. This person’s face was bland and featureless, completely and utterly featureless. His mouth opened and closed as he took in the bland face of a stranger. This person was wearing his son’s clothing, but past that there was no resemblance. His hair was cropped short, almost to his skull. Not a mark or blemish was on his face. A face with thin lips, dead grey eyes and sunken cheeks. Not the face of his son, not even a little bit. He covered his mouth in horror. What the hell was happening?
The form in front of him covered his face with his hands, taking several ragged breaths. When he finally looked up, it was as if his face had rearranged itself behind his shielding hands. Teddy looked back at him, his perfect face with his expressive eyes peered up at Remus with uncertainty. “I’m sorry dad,” he said and burst into tears, even as hair was growing from his head, returning to its regular length, returning to its usual color.
Remus was stunned. He was beyond stunned. He was flabbergasted. Here it was, happening right in front of his eyes and he still didn’t believe it. He struggled to find words and failed momentarily. His son was a Metamorphmagus. How had he not known this?
Teddy’s sobs became even more broken. “I tried not to do it! Please, I’m sorry!” Teddy said in between gasping breaths.
“Don’t cry, Teddy, it’s all going to be okay,” Remus said, placing both of his hands on Teddy’s shoulders and drawing the boy close.
Teddy took hold of him urgently, burying his face into Remus’ stomach.
Remus ran his hands up and down the boy’s back, reminded him to breathe. He waited with him until he’d gotten some of his composure back.
“How long have you been able to change your appearance?” Remus asked him, pulling them apart and wiping Teddy’s eyes.
Teddy shrugged. “A while, I guess. Are you mad?”
“I’m not mad, Teddy; you only frightened me. Why didn’t you tell me?” Remus asked, unable to fathom why his son would keep this from him.
“I didn’t tell anyone,” Teddy said. “It was just another thing that made me different from everyone else. I didn’t tell our old master, because he seemed to want me to be able to do it really bad, and I didn’t want him to know that I could. After that, I just wanted sir to like me, so I didn’t tell him. I didn’t want you to worry, so I didn’t tell you either.”
Remus took a deep breath, wondering how much more he could take today.
Teddy took this as an invitation to continue. “I only did it by myself, when I knew no one would see me. I did it when I was sad and alone and felt like nobody. So I made myself into nobody.”
Remus struggled to follow. “That face I just saw you wearing, you’ve worn it before then?”
Teddy nodded, wiping new tears that were forming in his eyes. “It makes me feel better. When it gets too much for Teddy, for me, I can always turn into him, into nobody. Is that wrong?”
Remus felt the depths of this conversation closing over his head. “I- I don’t know, Teddy,” he said stupidly, honestly. “It’s good to have something that makes you feel better when you're sad or feeling stress, but you need to know that you’re always you, it doesn’t matter what face you’re wearing. You’re always you, and that is perfectly fine, because you are a wonderful person.”
“I guess so,” Teddy allowed. “I don’t do it lots. Since we’ve been at sir’s I’ve done it less and less, because when I feel like that I can talk to him now.”
“You can talk to me,” Remus offere. In his entire life, he’d never felt like a bigger failure than at this very moment.
“I know, dad,” Teddy said, not meeting his eyes.
“But it isn’t the same,” Remus filled in for him, smiling crookedly and keeping everything else to himself.
Teddy shrugged again. “What if he isn’t okay?”
“I promise, he will be okay,” Remus hugged Teddy tightly. He suspected that Teddy was more overwhelmed as he was. The child had been struggling more and more every day, and this newest revelation must have been too much for him. He’d tried to cope with it in the only way he’d known how. Remus’ heart was heavy. They’d speak more about this, but here in the stall of a hospital loo wasn’t the place.
Teddy nodded and gave a watery sigh.
“Would you like to wait here for a bit, or go back and sit with Harry and Draco?” Remus asked.
“We can go back,” Teddy wiped his face one last time on his sleeve.
“I love you Teddy,” Remus told him, “nothing will ever change that. Ever.”
“I love you too, dad,” Teddy smiled up at him.
“Come on, then.” He took his son’s hand, leading him from the loo.

“Everything alright?” Harry asked, handing Teddy back his dragon.
“Loaded question,” Remus answered, sitting on the bench and pulling Teddy onto his lap, circling his arms around him.
“A Healer came while you were gone,” Draco told them. “They’ve downgraded his status from critical to ominous. He hasn’t responded to any of the analgesic potions they’ve been giving him, so they’ve put him under for now. We should be allowed to see him in a couple of hours.”
Remus nodded, feeling both fear and anticipation. “He told me most pain potions don’t have much of an effect on him anymore.”
“I know,” Draco said with a frown, “they wouldn’t listen to me and didn’t take well to my joke about hooking him up to a bottle of Premium Scotch.”
“It was in poor taste,” Darien said.
Draco made a face. “Either way, we’ll just have to wait a little longer, though we’ve been told that they’ll only let us in one at a time. Remus, again, you’re the exception. Once they’ve finished working on him, you can be in the room at all times until his release.”
“Because I’m his slave?” Remus asked.
“Yes,” Darien took up the conversation. “You’ll be able to provide personal care that the staff would otherwise have to do. Is that something you would feel comfortable with?”
“Of course,” Remus said without a thought. “Anything, so that he doesn’t have to lay there by himself.” He doubted that Severus would appreciate having strangers look after him while he wasn’t at his best. Not that he’d likely appreciate it any more from him, but they would work that out later.
“Good, the rest of us will only be permitted in for short periods of time. Once the team of Healers has done the bulk of their work, you’ll be allowed into the room and you can stay there. If Severus is alert enough to make his wishes known, they may bring in a cot for you. Otherwise, I’m told there will only be an armchair. Will that be a problem in your condition?”
“It will be perfect,” Remus assured him. “I’m basically healed, not even using the cane anymore.”
“I’m glad to hear that your health has improved so quickly. Someone on staff will tell you what is expected of you when the time comes, I’m told; though not everything you’ll have to do will be pleasant,” Darien told him.
“Anything,” Remus said, hearing his words echo Severus’ own from when this whole mess was just winding up.
Darien gave a nod. “Then all there is to do now is to wait. Is anyone hungry?”
Remus shook his head, he couldn’t imagine eating with his stomach flopping about the way it was. All he wanted was to see Severus. The newly discovered fact of his son’s transformative ability did nothing to ease his anxiety. He hadn’t mentioned it to Teddy, but he privately thought they should wait until they’d spoken to Severus before disclosing that fact to anyone else. He doubted that he had much to fear from his boy in that department, as he’d kept the secret to himself for quite some time. He couldn’t help but feel proud that Teddy had known somehow to keep the fact from Macnair when telling him may have momentarily appeased the monster. He felt chilled thinking what that beast would have done with Teddy if he’d known. The Polyjuice he’d been forced to take had been horrid enough, but at least they’d needed a pricy potion and a hair to make it happen. With Teddy’s abilities… he shook the notion from his head. None of that was happening now.
“You alright?” Harry’s voice broke through his thoughts.
He nodded. “Just processing.”
“Sorry I keep asking that,” Harry grinned.
“Where did Darien go?” Remus asked, looking around and only seeing four of them in the hall.
“You really were out of it then,” Harry said, straightening his glasses. “He went to get sandwiches, says we need to keep our strength up too.”
“That was kind of him,” Remus said.
“Don’t worry, I’m sure we’ll be seeing the bill,” Draco stated. He ran his hands over his face, looking as if sitting in this hall doing nothing was taking years from his life.
Teddy was starting to fidget in his lap, so Remus opened his arms and let him get up to stretch his legs.
Harry stood as well. “I could do with some movement myself,” he said. “Feel up to a small walk?” he asked the boy.
Teddy shrugged, Remus found himself beginning to get irritated with the careless gesture. “Sure.”
“Anyone else?” Harry tried. He was met with silence. “Alright, looks like it’s just you and me. Let’s go, then.” He offered his hand to Teddy, who took it and wandered off down the corridor with him.
Remus snuck another look at Draco, wishing he had some words of encouragement to offer.
“What?” Draco asked.
“When they let me, I swear I’ll do my best to take care of him,” Remus told him. “If Darien is right and they let me stay the night, you and Harry will look after Teddy?”
“I don’t doubt that,” Draco said, “and I’m sure the three of us will manage until you’re home. If they let us, we’ll come and visit.”
“Thank you, that sounds good.”
After a time, Harry and Teddy wandered back. Longer yet and Darien returned with two brown bags of sandwiches. Remus managed to eat half of one and then wrapped the rest up for later. They’d been digesting about forty minutes before two mediwizards finally exited the room, looking ragged.
“If the slave is out here, we have some cleanup that needs doing,” one of them said in passing.
Remus was on his feet and over to the door almost before he had finished his sentence. “I’ll see you all soon. I love you Teddy, be good for Harry and Draco.” He said, hugging his son and placing a kiss on the top of his head before making his way into the room.
It was still life chaos, save for one person in the robes of a trainee. She was cleaning away yards of bloodied gauze with a spell, maneuvering it into a bin.
Severus was in the middle of it all, naked save for bandages and a white sheet spread over his middle. Remus stood still and took in the sight of him, thinking that somehow he looked small in that bed, surrounded by magical equipment and swathed in gauze. Remus thought that there was no way that could be right, how could a man that willingly endured so much ever seem frail? His breath caught in his throat. Severus’ leg was bandaged, as were his ribs. There was a binding across the eye that had been swollen so terribly the last time Remus had seen him, the same eye that had been bluer than a clear arctic sky.
“Oh, you startled me,” the trainee exclaimed, turning around to face him. “You’re his slave?” she asked.
“Yes ma’am,” Remus answered, not meeting her eyes. The last thing he wanted was for some form of interpreted bad behavior on his part to get him expelled from the room. “I’m here for whatever you need.”
He stepped closer to Severus. When she didn’t reprimand him he went all the way up to the bedside next to him, placing his hand on Severus’ forearm just to feel the heat of his skin. He looked so pale, so still, he did it almost to assure himself that he was still alive.
“He’s out cold,” the woman told him, coming closer to the bed, though she was on the opposite side of it. “The amount of sedative it took would have a small erumpent sleeping for a week.”
Remus looked up at her skeptically, seeing her fully for the first time and deciding she had a kind face.
“I wouldn’t have believed it either, if I hadn’t seen it for myself. The analgesics and local anesthetics were having little to no effect on his pain levels, so they put him under for the bulk of the treatment.”
“What can I do?” Remus asked, his voice sounding strained.
“The soiled linens and gauze are a medical, magical and biological hazard; they’re soaked in blood and various potions. With your… physiology, you’d best not touch them. Besides, I’m trained to dispose of them. His wrappings are magically sealed. He could use a wipe down, so to speak.”
Remus couldn’t help but agree as they’d obviously not done anything to him that wasn’t strictly medically relevant. Severus was soaked in sweat, blood was crusting across his body in places that weren’t near the bandaged sections and those same areas were still covered in filth from the floor of that basement. She was pointing to a sink and cabinet on the wall near the door, so he went over and filled a basin with warm water and returned to the bedside with a cloth in his hand. He set the bowl on the side table.
“May I preform magic, Ma’am?” he asked politely.
“I suppose, if you can,” she said uncertainly, pursing her lips.
“Thank you, Ma’am.” He sterilized his hands, forearms and the cloth before touching any of them to the basin of water. He wrung out the cloth and began to carefully clean his master’s tired and beaten body.
He began at the feet, taking one and then the other and cleaning all of the grime that had collected there from Severus’ skin. He tenderly wiped each ankle, each arch of the foot, between and around every individual toe. He found that he loved these feet; the slender toes with broad, flat nails, the weathered heels and the soft ankles. He diligently renewed both the water and the sterilization spells on himself before he moved on to the calves.
The bristly hair there was familiar to him; this part of his body, at least, appeared unharmed. He gingerly lifted each leg just enough to clean the underside, feeling the slack muscles of the lower limb move pliantly under his direction. He bent Severus’ leg at the knee, leaving the flat part of his foot to anchor itself on the bed. He cleaned the un-obscured sections of both thighs before lowering them carefully back to the mattress. He tried to forget what lay below the white bandages covering the knee and upper leg, but found his eyes welling with tears.
“Here,” the woman said, coming nearer and placing her hand on a part of the bed railing that was covered with red enamel. “Touch this and say, ‘lift – sitting position’.” She demonstrated. Severus levitated carefully so that he was sitting in an upright position, floating there with no disturbance and no effort of his own. “If you need him totally off the bed, make the same motion and say, ‘lift fully – lying down’. The bed will respond to any command reasonable to its occupant’s state of health.”
“Thank you,” Remus said, beginning to swab the exposed sections of back carefully clean.
“Say ‘return to rest position’, once you’ve finished. It’s good for him to spend sections of every hour sitting upright when he’s awake.”
Remus nodded, running his fingers through Severus’ grubby hair. He wetted his hands and pulled them carefully through the tresses, unknotting and unmatting them the best he could, then wiping them clean on the cloth. After this he renewed the water and got a brand new cloth, finding the other one too dirty to be salvageable.
He said the instruction that made the bed lay Severus back down, working down his chest with the cloth. He moved the sheet from across his midsection to wipe clean the stomach. He found his lover’s privates swathed in bandages as well. He covered him carefully back up, smothering a sob as he did. Methodically, he let the work take over as he cleaned one arm from shoulder to the edge of the balled up wrappings that supposedly cradled Severus’ beautiful hands. Remus wished he could see one now, hold it, place its open palm to his cheek and press it there. He moved to the other, giving it the same precise attention. Somewhere around the inside of his elbow and against all predictable odds, Severus began to stir.
As Remus stroked the warm cloth across the inside of his forearm, Severus groaned. It scared Lupin so much he stopped still in his motions. He closed his fingers around Severus’ arm and waited. Snape stirred again, his entire body quivering, his lips moving in repetitive speech, barely audible even to Remus’ enhanced hearing.
“I didn’t tell him, Albus. I didn’t tell them…” The world was so distant, yet somehow sensations from it were crushing him. Everything was agony, but there was a soft hand on his arm that could only belong to Albus. He’d best struggle to wakefulness, give his report and then the Headmaster could be along with his day. He tried to raise his head from the pillow and found that he couldn’t. He made a piteous sound that filled him with disgrace.
Remus moved his free hand to rest lightly over his master’s rapidly beating heart. “Sir, you’re safe, it’s over.” There was no response but more murmuring and exertion. He leaned in closer. “Severus, it’s me.”
Severus stilled. “Remus,” he breathed. Of course, Albus was dead. He wanted to rub at his eyes but found that his arms weighed so much more than they were supposed to. Remus was with him, waiting for him to wake and wanting nothing from him. His emotions spiraled so far out of his control that tears welled in his eyes, stinging one of them beyond reason.
“There is no bloody way he is awake right now,” the Healer practically cursed, already at the bedside, wand out and preforming scans.
Severus shrank from the unfamiliar voice. Remus leaned closer to his ear. “You’re out, it’s over. We’re all here, at St Mungo's with you.”
Severus began to cough, the motion wracking his injured ribs so badly he brought his arms up to cradle them as he hacked, making a shrill sound when the balled bandages of his hands came roughly into contact with his chest.
“Easy, Mr. Snape,” the Healer gentled.
“Remus,” Severus said again, his uncovered eye opening and scanning the room. All he wanted was to see Lupin, to reassure himself that he was real, that any of this was real.
“I’m here,” Remus said through a painfully tight throat. He grasped Severus’ arm again, placing his hand lightly on his bare shoulder. “There is a Healer here too, she’s trying to help you.”
“Had enough of Healers,” Severus said through clenched teeth. Remus could hear them grinding together where he sat.
“Please don’t group me together with the back-alley surgeon that did this to you, Mister Snape,” the Healer said curtly. “Did Lanning give you anything to render pain management ineffective?”
Severus shook his head, the effort of controlling his motions causing sweat to bead on his brow
“Useless all on their own.” It seemed to be all he could manage without biting off his own tongue.
“You have a preexisting tolerance?” she inquired further. “To which varieties?”
Under his hands, Remus felt his master’s muscles constrict even further.
“All of them,” he bit out.
“All of them? Mister Snape, that is highly unlikely-“
“Shut up for one moment, you yammering harpy!” Severus rasped as passionately as he was able.
The Healer was stunned to stillness as well as silence.
Snape closed his eyes. Remus could see them moving rapidly beneath his closed eyelids. There was a moment of quiet, before he felt his master relax marginally. His breathing became less strained.
This intrigued the healer enough to risk another round of abuse. “What is happening, Mister Snape? Are the potions finally working?”
Severus held his peaceful stillness for another minute.
“Mister Snape?” she persisted.
“They will never work,” he said finally. “I’ve put up a mental barrier. The pain is still there, only on the other side of it.”
“Occlumency?” she asked, picking up his chart and flipping through it. “Such extensive magic will only exhaust you.”
“Madam, I am already so thoroughly exhausted I doubt I’ll notice. If you’ve finished your badgering, I’d appreciate some privacy.”
She huffed. “You can be rid of me for now, but I’ll be back,” she snapped at him. To Remus, she said, “Once he’s cleaned up and had a drink of water, you may allow the others in one at a time, for no longer than a combined time of twenty minutes. After that, everyone but you has to go; he needs his rest – here’s hoping it will improve his disposition.”
“I doubt it,” Remus smiled at Severus while he answered her.
With one last sigh, she bustled from the room, obviously glad to leave it now that Severus was awake.
Severus sagged against the bed as if his last bit of strength had left with her.
Remus rushed to the sink and returned with a glass of water. “Thirsty?” he asked, feeling like the world’s greatest idiot.
“Yes,” Severus rasped.
Remus went in slowly, sliding his arm under Snape’s shoulders, raising him from the bed and helping him take a few sips of water. Remus lowered him down again, setting the cup aside.
He smoothed the damp hair from Severus’ brow. “Is this too much? Do you need some space?”
Severus opened his mouth to speak, seeming more surprised than Remus at the tears that began leaking from both of his eyes. “I don’t think I’m the best judge of what I need right now,” Severus admitted. “They’ve filled me with so many worthless analgesics I can barely think.”
He was reeling from the fact that he was in the hospital, no longer in that horror show of a basement. He could tell that his body swelled with pain. It hurt to blink, think, to speak. Thankfully, there was insulation between that and himself. His emotions, on the other hand, were spun so far out of control that even without all of those potions in his system he doubted he’d be able to straighten them out. That was all excluding the fact that Remus was here, holding onto his arm, touching his heated face with his cool, dry hands. He wasn’t paid to be there, none of the others would have made him come and do this. He felt a lump in his throat and cursed whoever had poured those potions down his throat.
“It’s alright, I’m here,” Remus assured him softly.
Severus couldn’t speak as Remus brushed the backs of his fingers across his cheek. He let his eyes drift shut, fighting sleep in spite of himself and glad to escape any possible eye contact. The cloth was returned, dabbing at his heated face and neck, retreating and then returning to the exposed skin of his stomach. He gave a shuddering sigh.
Remus had to bite the inside of his cheek to keep from asking if there was more he could do, if there was anything his master needed. He knew Severus would hate that, feeling mothered. He’d been thinking about it for some time and was going to attempt to give a different approach. He desperately wanted to know if Severus had meant what he’d said to him that day at Lanning’s, but it would have to wait.
He went and rinsed the sink in the bowl, going back to the bedside with it full of cool, clean water in case it was needed. For the moment he set it aside, pulling the armchair as close as he could and seating himself in it. He rested his fingers on Severus’ arm to let him know he was still there and hunkered down to wait until he was needed for something.
Snape looked at him. “You’re staying?” He hated the sound of weakness in his voice.
“Of course,” Remus said, keeping his tone low so as not to grate on his master’s ears.
“What about Teddy?”
Remus soothed his thumb across Severus’ skin. “Harry and Draco will watch him, though he’s going to come in and see you once before they go back home. Draco and Darien will likely step in as well.”
Severus wasn’t sure how he felt about them seeing him like this. Unable to see it for himself, he could only assume that he had to look about as bad as he’d felt before he’d put up that mental wall.
Remus continued, “They’re going to give you some time before they come, and they won’t stay long or visit all at once.” When Severus didn’t respond, he said, “Though everyone would understand if you wanted to wait until tomorrow.”
“Teddy wouldn’t,” Severus sighed. He was enjoying the sound of Remus’ voice, it was a nice distraction from whatever was happening inside of his head. The sensation of Remus stroking his arm was a minor miracle.
“Maybe not, but the boys would sort him out,” Remus said. “This is about you and what you want. If what you want is privacy, I can go as well.” He offered it, holding his breath and hoping that he wouldn’t be sent away.
“No, please stay,” Severus said as if the words pained him. “I’ll see them too, but I’ll need a moment.”
“Of course,” Remus said, “I was hoping you’d say that. I’m going to stay with you until you’re sent home, if I don’t annoy you into giving me the boot before then.”
“I’ll try to restrain myself,” Severus said dryly. His face wavered. “Really Remus, I’m glad that you’re here.” Another wayward tear betrayed him by slipping from his eye. He wished the bed would swallow him whole.
“Nowhere else I’d rather be,” Lupin leaned in and touched his lips to Snape’s shoulder. He wiped his master’s eye and laid his head in the crook of his one elbow against the mattress, his other hand never leaving Severus’ arm. The other man must be truly out of sorts to be displaying his emotions like this. He hoped that he’d responded correctly; the last thing he wanted to do was upset Severus in any way.
Severus tried to wade through his thoughts, finding it near impossible. Remus was here, would be here, with him. His heart swelled with something foreign but wonderful. He took another labored breath, shivering with the effort of trying to keep control of himself.
“Here,” Remus said, moving from his place beside the bed. He unfolded the sheet and laid it over Severus’ body, tucking it in over his feet and stretching it up to his shoulders. “Would you like another drink?”
Severus nodded mutely, and found himself being helped to drink again, as his hands were completely useless in their current state. He was glad of the spell that would make him whole again, otherwise they’d likely have to be regrown and reattached a second time and there would be little chance of them functioning in anything more than an ornamental fashion.
Remus got rid of the glass and returned to Severus’ side, nestling himself back in the way he’d been seated before. This time he extended the arm he wasn’t using as a pillow over Severus’ stomach. He felt as if he couldn’t get close enough to him.

The clock read an hour later than it should have been when the doors opened and closed. Remus wiped his eyes; he must have fallen asleep.
“Sorry to disturb you,” said the Healer in training, back as threatened. This time there was another person with her, dressed in the robes of fully accredited medical staff.
“Then don’t,” Severus groused, having been startled awake. His heart was beating rapidly and he’d jumped like a nervous schoolgirl at the sound of the door. He felt the pain in his body returning and pulled his shields more tightly around himself. He felt them growing thin, or was it him that was weakening?
She ‘tutted’ and began scanning him. She shook her head, keeping her thoughts to herself as she made wand movements that covered Snape from head to toe. She then performed the spell which Remus recognized as the one that would clear Snape’s bladder and bowel.
“Hello Mister Snape,” said the new Healer, “My name is Healer Dawson. You’re in rough shape, but if you can hold on until tomorrow morning, I’ve been told that everything will be in place to return you back to your complete self. You will be medically monitored throughout the procedure, and for a time after. I am the Healer that was assigned to do this, as well as look after pre and post procedure.”
“After?” Remus had to ask. “I thought he was going to be fully healed.”
Severus stayed silent, feeling Remus’ fingers curl more firmly around his arm, hearing the concern in his voice. These things calmed him in a way he hadn’t anticipated anything would be able to.
“Since being put in charge of Mr. Snape’s care, I have used every resource at my disposal to try and understand what his needs may be after the ceremony is complete. This has proven rather difficult, as it appears that there is little information available to tell us what that will be. We have done our best to prepare for every foreseeable scenario.”
“Sounds encouraging,” Snape said, sarcasm dripping from his words even through the roughness of his voice.
“I understand your concerns, but you have to understand that we are in uncharted waters here. The last time this spell was performed was over two hundred years ago and the documentation was nowhere near as complete as we would have liked. I have total faith in the staff here but I’m afraid that though the spell will heal you, the process will be anything but enjoyable in your current condition.”
“I’ve no doubt about that,” said Severus darkly.
“We’ll need you to sign some paperwork,” she told him hesitantly.
“Send it to Darien Ackerley – I’ll not sign anything until he’s looked at it.” His head was still full of fog, there was no way he’d trust his own decision making processes.
“I’ll have that done right away,” Healer Dawson agreed. “I do believe he is right in the hall if you wish to speak to him yourself.”
“Darien is here?” Severus asked, mildly alarmed. He shook his head, looking at Remus. “You did tell me that, didn’t you? Well send him in, he charges triple for waiting about.” He brought his hands up to move hair that had fallen into his face, sighing in frustration at the sight of the bandaged ends of his arms.
Remus tucked the strands lightly behind his ear for him, saying nothing about it other than, “I’ll retrieve him for you, if you’re ready to speak to him now.”
Severus gave a nod to Remus, to Healer Dawson he said, “If we’re finished…”
“For now,” she said, “I’ll have our trainee take the results of these scans to the lab and she’ll be coming back with a round of potions for you to take. By that time all visitors should be gone. I’ll see you in the morning, Mister Snape.” She handed Remus the forms and left the room.
“I’ll return shortly,” said the trainee, hurrying off after her companion.
“You want to see Darien first?” Remus asked.
“I’d better, and then he can be on his way,” Severus said, closing his eyes.
Remus made the bed help Severus up into a sitting position against some pillows and then stuck his head out into the hallway, calling Darien’s name softly.
When Snape opened his eyes again, it was to Ackerley’s somber face.
“Hello Severus,” Darien said.
“Did Remus give you those papers to read?” Severus said in response.
“Yes, they’re standard, feel free to sign them. I'm glad to see you’re doing so well.”
Severus sighed. “I hope you’ve been holding up your end of the bargain while I was away.”
“Oh yes,” Ackerley said, “I believe we’re ready to move forward once you’re feeling up to it. I’ve been gathering quite a bit of ammunition.”
“Good, give the names of my preferred reporters to reception and ask them to be allowed in as soon as the medical staff will allow it. Did you have them take photographs?”
“I sent word ahead to request it, but I’ve yet to see them myself. We were all just waiting for you to wake up.”
“Yes and that way you can charge me for all the hours you waited around in the hall?” Severus asked, pretending irritation.
“No, you arse,” Darien grinned at him, “so I could make sure you were alright. All the waiting around today, that’s pro bono.”
“Call a Healer,” Snape said to Remus, “he’s having a stroke.”
“Never you mind,” Darien said, still smiling. “Now that I’ve seen you with my own eyes, I’ll carry on about our business.”
“Thank you, Darien,” Severus said, “for everything.”
“No trouble at all, or perhaps I should say no more trouble than usual. Draco knows how to contact me if they need anything. Should I send him in?”
Severus nodded and Darien turned to leave. “I’ll be seeing you tomorrow morning at the latest. Try and get some rest.”
As Darien walked away, Remus offered his master another sip of water, which was easily accepted with a clipped ‘thank you’. He was finding it was simpler to just do things for Severus without discussing them with him. There was less protest, at any rate.
Draco walked into the room, his face a stony mask. “Severus,” he said with a faltering voice, pausing as if unsure of himself. “I –” His voice wavered further then trailed into silence, stopping just inside of the door.
Severus held his arm out to Draco. “You don’t have to say anything, just come over here,” his velvety baritone interrupted the quiet.
Draco found his bearings and hurried forward, clasping Severus’ forearm. He seemed to struggle with something.
Severus took over the conversation, thinking that his godson looked thoroughly unable to proceed. “You’re looking well,” he said.
“You’re not,” Draco said, his voice sounding brittle. “Have they been treating you decently?”
“As well as he’ll let them,” Remus answered for him.
Draco let out a small huff of laughter. “I’ll believe that.” His face sobered quickly. “How is your eye?”
“I’ve been Occluding almost since waking up, my pain is manageable,” Severus told him.
“I tried to tell them about the analgesics, but they weren’t inclined to listen to me,” Draco said.
“They’ll be out of my system by tomorrow,” Severus told him. “It isn’t your fault - none of this is.”
“We should have fought harder to get you out of there,” Draco said, anger overcoming him.
“The fact that you managed it at all is nothing short of spectacular,” Severus told him. He knew that the display of wrath was a cover up for vulnerability. Draco often expressed different emotions than he was actually feeling.
“Spectacular?” Draco spat, seeming like he might have much more to say on the subject. Then he stilled. “You didn’t expect us to do it at all, did you?”
“I expected you to lay the groundwork for an inquiry into WIBNA and the freeing of the lycanthropes. I was less optimistic about obtaining my freedom early, there was such little time to work with.”
Draco shook his head. “You’re a crazy bastard, has anyone ever told you that?”
Severus laughed, wincing and grabbing for his chest in the same motion. “I’ve heard it before,” he said, coughing now, which appeared to pain him just as much. Once he had himself back under control he said, “Really Draco, I’m proud of you.”
Malfoy looked down at his boots, clearing his throat. “I don’t see how you can say that,” he admitted quietly.
“You did everything I asked. You took care of Teddy, Remus and the house. You set things into motion more effectively than I could have even imagined. You got me out of hell early. I’m proud of you, and I can say it with absolute ease, I always could.” His bandaged hand came to rest on Draco’s arm.
“We weren’t fast enough!” Draco exclaimed. “I’ve witnessed you go through some terrible shite, but he was literally cutting you to pieces…” He paused, trying and failing to get his emotions under control. His hands scrubbed over his face. “I’m sorry, you’re the one recovering and I shouldn’t be putting this on you. I’m just glad you’re alright.”
“Don’t apologize,” Severus said to him. He wished he had the use of his body, that he could sit up and have this conversation in full, but they were short on time and he was starting to flag. “I’ve had about twenty near death experiences and am nearly intoxicated on potions, so I feel that I can say this freely to you now. I could not care for you more if you were my own son, and without your help I would still be in that basement. You have nothing to feel guilt over, my sparrow, not where I am concerned.”
Draco gave a jerky nod, tears finally spilling down both of his cheeks that he dashed away in frustration. He leaned in and carefully embraced Severus, who did his best to reciprocate with his broken ribs and bandaged hands. When Malfoy pulled back he was still wiping at his eyes.
“I’d better get Teddy in here, spend the rest of the time with him,” Draco said. “I’ll see you tomorrow, before the ceremony if possible. Try and rest.” He turned and walked from the room without a glance back.
Remus followed, hovering, wishing that he could say something to make him feel better. Draco walked over to the bench and said something to Harry and Teddy. Darien was nowhere to be seen. Draco ruffled Teddy’s hair as he went past. He wiped at his eyes again and sat on the bench next to Harry, saying something that Remus couldn’t hear. Harry put his hand on Draco’s shoulder in a supportive gesture, and though it was shrugged off, it didn’t happen immediately. Privately, Remus thought that had to count for something.
“Hi dad, Draco said I could come in now?” Teddy asked, hesitating near the door.
“Yes you can, Severus is awake. Try not to speak too loudly or jostle him in any way,” Remus cautioned as he moved to let his son to enter the room. Teddy was past him in a flash and up to the side of the hospital bed.
“Sir,” he said reverently, not moving to touch him.
Severus took everything he was feeling about his interaction with Draco, stuffed it somewhere in the back of his mind, and smiled. “Hello Teddy, I’m so glad to see you again,” he told the boy. It was true. His heart swelled just looking at him. He hoped he didn’t appear too frightening, with the new scars on his face and neck, the bruises, abrasions and gauze wrappings all across his body.
“Me too!” Teddy said, stepping so close to the bed that he was bumping into it, reaching out to touch Snape’s arm. If he felt fear, he showed none of it.
“Remus, would you help him up here?” Severus asked over Teddy’s shoulder.
“Are you sure?”
“Positive; he did an excellent job of minding your bandages while you were healing. I’m sure he can do it again.”
Remus came and helped hoist him onto the bed, where Severus shifted slightly to allow Teddy to cuddle up against him. He put his arm around the boy’s shoulders and squeezed as tightly as his ribs would allow.
“Thank you,” he said to Remus. To Teddy he said, “I missed you.” He must really be high on painkillers not to even feel a touch of embarrassment over speaking those words aloud.
“I missed you too, sir,” Teddy declared, turning to look more closely at him. One of his hands came up and his finger trailed tenderly along the ugly scar across Snape’s neck. “What happened while you were away?”
“A great many things, but none of them matter; not between you and me,” Severus said earnestly, forcing himself to allow the gentle touch that spanned the entirety of the blemish. He reminded himself that there was not a malicious bone in this child’s body, and held still until the hand retreated.
“So you aren’t mad at me because you had to go?” Teddy asked, his hand moving to twist one of his dragon’s ears nervously.
“No, child. None of this is your fault, just like I told you in the jars and before I left. I missed you and your father very much while I was gone, and I’m not angry with either of you for any reason.”
Teddy nodded, finally relaxing all of the way. He seemed to be trying to burrow his way into Severus’s side, he was so close. “Is your eye going to be okay?” the boy asked tentatively, looking up at the patch over Snape’s eye while touching the area beside one of his own.
“I believe so. Tomorrow morning they are going to use magic to heal me. I may have to stay here for a while after, but I believe I will be coming home tomorrow, or the day after at the latest.” He didn’t want to lie to Teddy about his return, even inadvertently.
“Can I stay with you until then?” Teddy asked, grabbing Severus’ forearm.
“I wish you could,” Severus said seriously, “but a hospital is no place for a healthy child. You’ll have one more night to get through, and even if I have to stay tomorrow night too, I’m sure you’ll be allowed to visit during the day.”
Teddy let out a sigh. “Alright, sir,” he said despondently. “Do I have to leave now?”
“No, I would like very much if you would stay until the Healer returns,” Severus told him, looking down into those honeyed eyes that were so similar to Remus’. “You can tell me about all of the trouble you’ve been getting into while I was away.”
Teddy looked briefly panicked. “I was good, sir! I promise I was good! Please, don’t-”
Severus gave Teddy another squeeze with the arm that was still over his shoulders. “I was only teasing,” he told him with a half-smile. “I’m sure Draco and Potter got up to far more trouble than you did. I’d bet the entire contents of my vault that I’m out of liquor on the main floor of the house.”
Remus couldn’t help but chuckle, thinking that Severus’ money would be safe on that one. It was also nice to see Teddy so relaxed. He hadn’t realized until this moment how tensely his boy had been carrying himself until he watched it all wiped away with the first few words he’d exchanged with their master.
“What I should have said was tell me about some of the things you’ve been doing,” Severus clarified.
“Oh,” Teddy said, “Lots of things! I’ve gone to the pond with Fred a bunch, and we went into town and I got to play with some other children at a park! Two of them were flying a kite and they let me try.”
Severus sank into the pillows and listened to the happy, continuous stream of chatter that came out of Teddy. He made sounds of awe and surprise when he felt they were called for in order to keep the child going for as long as possible. He let his eyes drift shut and allowed the words to wash over him, his imagination providing the rest.
Remus sat in the bedside chair to observe; seeing the two of them together was a balm to his heart. Severus listened intently for a time before tilting his head back and closing his eyes. It took Teddy a while to realize that Snape wasn’t alert, but he quieted immediately. Severus surprised both of them by saying, “Continue, I’m listening,” without opening his eyes. Teddy had grinned and picked up his story where he’d left off.
The Healer in training returned at some point, making it almost all of the way up to the bed before any of them noticed her. Teddy silenced, his hand still holding onto Snape’s forearm. She was levitating a tray of potions behind her and she did not look impressed. “I thought you were told twenty minutes,” she scolded. “It’s been over forty. I’m sorry, it’s time to leave.”
“I’m sorry,” Teddy said automatically, looking at his knees.
“I think we’re the ones in trouble, not you,” Severus pointed out. “Draco and Potter will take you home. Remember, we only have to get through one more night.”
“Because I can see you tomorrow,” Teddy filled in, just so there weren’t any mistakes.
“Exactly,” Severus confirmed.
Teddy turned and looped his thin arms around Snape’s neck, holding on briefly. “I love you, sir,” he said unabashedly, holding on a moment longer before pulling back.
“I love you too, Teddy,” Severus answered, “try to be good for Draco and Potter.”
“I will,’ Teddy said. He hesitated at the edge of the bed. “Here sir,” he said, holding out his stuffed dragon, “I think he should stay with you tonight.”
Severus looked from the toy to the very solemn boy standing behind it. “Are you sure, Teddy? I’ll have your father here, I won’t be alone.” While he was beyond touched at the sentiment, he didn’t want Teddy to go through a difficult night without his dragon.
“That’s okay, I still think he should stay and keep you safe,” Teddy informed him. He obviously wasn’t in the mood to argue on the matter, as he tucked the stuffed animal in beside Snape and went to hug Remus.
“I’ll see you tomorrow dad; I love you.”
“I love you too,” Remus told him returning the embrace and walking with his son to the door, making sure Harry and Draco were there to take him home. He said his goodbyes to them and went back into the room to hear what he was certain were be the beginnings of an argument.
“What is it?” He heard Severus ask the Healer. She was holding one of the beakers full of potions out to Severus, who was trying to peer into the transparent glass as well as he could from the angle he was sitting, wincing at the movement.
“Swell Away suspended in a solution of Aegis’ Oral Antiseptic,” she said, shaking the container in his direction as if he could do anything about it with his fists balled up like that.
Remus came around the other side of the bed, “Please Miss, if you would allow me.”
“It’s all yours,” she said, not quite hiding her irritation.
Remus took it from her hands, going to help Severus drink.
Snape leant in and gave the liquid a sniff, his eyes narrowing. “Hold it to the light for me, please.”
Remus did as he was asked, agitating the bottle after a cue from his master.
“What are the percentages purported to be?” Severus asked with a curl of his lip as he tilted his head to try and get a better look through the liquid.
“Sixty-forty, favoring the Oral Antiseptic,” she answered.
Severus let out a small huff; even with his brain not working properly, he could tell that number was wrong. The potion was entirely the incorrect hue of cyan for those to be its component percentages. “Either the proportions are incorrect or there is far too much White Willow Bark in the Swell Away,” Severus said. “If the levels are too high they may react poorly with the Kratom that was in most of the earlier analgesics I was given.”
“These potions are brewed, mixed and decanted by the hospital’s brewers, there is absolutely nothing wrong with them, Mister Snape.” She sounded as if she were patronizing a young child and was completely exhausted with it. “You’re a patient here, and not fit to be making any sort of professional decisions at present. Please, just take the potion.”
“Judging by what I’m looking at right now, it seems that being an employee here doesn’t make one fit to do that either. I’m not sure that you’re hearing me, this potion is about three shades of cyan too dark for the dilution it is supposed to be.”
“I guarantee you that this potion is perfectly acceptable,” she said, taking to bottle back forcefully from Remus’ hand. “It is also necessary to your recovery. You will either take it willingly or I will have to force you. ” Her tone became demanding, it was obvious that this wasn’t her first time having a conversation like this with a reluctant patient.
“Do what you must, but in no way I will drink that of my own free will. If I am correct, it is entirely probable that I will end up with a-”
With a flick of her wrist, Severus was silenced. She tapped the bed with her wand and he found himself immobilized, though when she held the rim of the bottle to his lips he felt himself drink and then swallow with no control over his actions. To say that he was outraged would be putting it lightly. If he was correct about that potion, then he alone would be the one to bear the consequences, and they would be dire. The only consolation was that he would be healed tomorrow, and if he died before then he would be reanimated and made to keep until the missing part of his soul was returned.
She tapped the bed with her wand again, standing with her hands on her hips, apparently thinking herself the victor of this particular battle.
“What I was going to say before you forcibly poured that garbage down my throat,” Severus continued after a spell of coughing, “was that if I am right about that potion, which I am, then if it isn’t purged from my system, I will likely end up with a magically inversed fever so terrible that I doubt you’ll be able to save me from hypothermia with every second class potion in your bloody store room.”
“That isn’t going to happen, Mister Snape,” she said as if her tone alone would prevent it. “The amount of Kratom you would have needed to ingest would be dramatically higher than it would be in any potion we would have given you.”
Severus was beginning to look fatigued, but he stood his ground. “I was conscious while they gave me a dose of Pain-Away, another of Stop Suffering and no less two doses of Anguish Ease. I’ve brewed for enough years to know that all of those are Kratom based solutions. After that, I had too much difficulty focusing on what they were saying to know what they were giving me. I’m sure my chart says it all, though I’ve no doubt it was thoroughly checked and approved by someone fully trained in the art of Potions.”
“I’m doing as I’ve been instructed by Healer Dawson,” she said, already flipping through his chart. Her eyes flashed like lightning across the pages as she turned through several. “I’m still in training, though it will be completed in two weeks, so I’ve still been running my decisions past her before implementing any of them.”
“That means you received an answer about that questionable potion how, through telepathy?” Severus asked with scorn. He was beginning to feel nauseous and more than a little like whatever he drank would try to claw its way out of his stomach using only the shortest possible distance.
“No, but I- I was told to give it to you and all of the potions are tested before they go out,” she said, beginning to appear concerned. “I’ve been trained to get patients to take their medicine through any means necessary, what I did just now was totally by the book.”
“That’s fine, so the potions are tested when they are decanted, but what about the mixed solutions, like the one I just drank?” Severus asked, trying to be patient. If he raged at her and she walked away without thinking this through, he could be in real trouble. He felt the brew churning inside of his stomach. “Would those go through a separate test? Is it inconceivable that one of those failsafe mechanisms was not completed, or may have been done incorrectly?” Was it his imagination, or was it uncomfortably cool in the room?
“It’s possible, but…” she trailed off, clearly unsure of what to say or do.
Remus stepped in, never mind his station. “Then for the love of god, woman, either go and get the bit of potion left in that container tested or give him something to purge it from his system!”
“I’ll not be spoken to that way be a slave,” she snapped. “I’ll send for someone to have the bottle tested in the lab, if that will stop your complaining.”
“Complaining?” Remus protested, at the end of his wits with the day, and now specifically, with this woman. “You just ignored the opinion of one of the foremost Brewers in the country, and you think there is time to send for a courier?”
“I could have you flogged for your continued lack of respect,” she said, seemingly also at the end of her own rope with the two of them and the situation they found themselves in.
“Go right ahead, as long as you do something about…” Remus set his hand on his master’s arm to find it covered in gooseflesh. “He’s freezing,” he said aloud.
“Sweet Merlin,” the trainee muttered under her breath, “of course he is.” She magically took Snape’s temperature, shaking her head in disbelief as the magical number that appeared in front of her was visibly dropping. She banished the Charm with a wave of her hand.
Summoning another bottle out of one of the cupboards near the bed, she bent over Severus, helping him drink three large swallows with no discussion about the potion’s make or quality this time. She beckoned Remus to come closer, handing him a bucket.
“He’s going to be ill for a while, do your best to keep it contained,” she instructed curtly, changing the angle of the bed so Severus would be unable to choke on whatever he threw up.
Remus took the waste container and sat on the side of Severus’ bed. His master’s head was lolling to the side, his eyes half lidded and vacant. He ran his fingers tenderly along a pale cheek, feeling the cold, clammy skin and finding that he felt like a furnace in comparison.
“Severus, if you need to vomit I have a bucket here,” Remus said feeling like more than a fool. There was no response from his master. “Severus, can you hear me?” he tried again with more volume.
“Yes, quit shouting,” Severus said through now chattering teeth. The disorientation of all the potions he’d been fed coupled with the crippling nausea he was experiencing was shaking the hold on his Occlumency shields. The shivering was starting to become agony to his injured ribs, hands and leg. He leant forward and viciously retched into the bucket three times in rapid succession before falling back against the bed in misery.
Remus silently helped him to clear his mouth out with some water, and then to have a few small sips to drink. He set the glass aside and looked for the Healer, who was thankfully returning to the bedside at this point. She cast a warming spell on the mattress, pulling the sheets back to tuck hot water bottles under both Severus’ armpits, along his sides and on the insides of his legs and groin. Then she covered him back up with the sheet, added a thick quilt and a separate Warming Charm on both coverings.
“I have to go to the lab and make sure whatever I’m going to give him to counteract this isn’t going to cause more problems than we’ve already got. He’ll likely vomit for a while longer,” she said over the sound of Severus puking into the bucket again as Remus simultaneously tried to support him upright and keep the hair out of his face. “I’ll be back as quickly as I am able, if you need assistance, tap that same place on the bed with your wand and say ‘help me’. Someone should be here within moments. Do your best to keep him warm, re-Charm the bottles and the bed if you need to. When I get back, I’ll reassess where we’re at. Sound good?”
Remus nodded, “Go,” was all he said. He felt the cold of Snape’s skin through the warmed sheet and pulled the quilt up to his neck. Severus leaned over and purged himself into the bucket again, this time dry heaving as though he were trying to rid himself of all his toenails by way of his esophagus. Remus helped him have a few small sips of water so he wouldn’t end up dry heaving.
“Hands,’ Severus mumbled, trying to burrow them farther into the blankets.
Lord, they were probably freezing, trapped as they were under layers of bandages and separated from any of the magically provided warmth. Remus used a spell so they would generate heat too. He propped the bucket in Snape’s arm and went to the other end of the bed to check his feet. The ends of his toes were red, the appendages feeling frozen to the touch. He found a pair of hospital slippers and put them carefully on his master’s feet, Charming them warm as well. He covered everything back up in the heated blankets, frightened by the prospect that whatever was happening was causing any exposed skin to show the first stages of frostbite in a room he found quite balmy.
He emptied and rinsed the bucket, helping Severus with a few more sips of water. His nose and ears were beginning to change color as well, and Remus was at a bit of a loss as to what to do about that.
“How’s your nausea, Severus? Do you feel like you’re going to be ill again?” he asked, hoping not to have his head torn off for the inquiry. Severus groaned in response and threw up into the bucket again. “That’s alright, get it all out,” Remus gentled, moving in close, holding Severus’ icy ears in his hands, trying vainly to warm them.
“I can’t do this, Albus. Give me the potion,” Severus slurred in answer.
Remus wasn’t sure that he’d properly. “Pardon?” he asked, moving in closer so he could hear his lover’s indistinct words more correctly.
“The potion, I’m going to die without it.” Severus vomited again. “I can’t, not like this. If he calls… A half dose, please, Albus, or I won’t be able to…”
Remus felt his throat tightening, it became clear again how large of a hold Albus Dumbledore had had over this man. He wondered if Albus had held him in a fist clenched as tightly as Voldemort had. “It’s over, Severus. Voldemort is dead; you helped us make sure of that. It’s me, Remus, you’re free now.”
“Remus,” Severus tried the name on his uncooperative lips. They seemed to be directly wired to his brain, without any kind of filter in between the two. He licked them, feeling as if the cold immediately chapped them. He mentally shook himself, trying to root himself in the present as much as possible. Albus was dead. Impossibly, these were Remus’ careful touches on his battered body, Remus’ soothing words curling into his ears. “I’m so cold,” he told him.
“I know you are,” Remus sympathized. “Are you going to be ill again, can I move this bucket?”
“You can,” Severus said.
Remus took the bucket and set it aside, keeping it in easy reach just in case. While he was moving, he took another peek at Severus’ feet and found them almost unchanged even with the heated slippers. He went back up to the side of the bed, wishing that he could look at the hands contained in all those bandages to see how badly frostbite was setting in on the fingers inside. It certainly was on his ears and nose, the tips of which were starting to change color again, this time to a shade that made Remus feel almost ill himself.
He set his hand on the side of the bed and said “help me”, like he’d been told by the Healer. When almost fifteen minutes had gone by and the terrible color seemed to be spreading, starting on the tip of his nose and going outward, Remus made a decision to act; he couldn’t sit there and do nothing.
Remus tried calling for help again. He’d been checking the temperature on the hot water bottles and was finding that they were cooling at a startling rate. Between them, the blankets and mattress, the hand bandages and foot slippers, he doubted that he’d be able to keep all of the spells needed in place on so many separate items. On the other hand, it would be relatively simple to run a warm bath and spell the air in the bathroom humid and hot. With the door closed the air would maintain itself with the help of a steaming tub. Even if the water wasn’t that hot, the difference in temperature between it and Severus’ skin would likely produce more steam. He could alternate between the taps and magic to maintain the warmth of the water and the room. It sounded less taxing on his newly returned magic and more consistent for Severus, who’d endured too much in the last week to have to go through this with what little help seemed forthcoming from the staff.
“Severus?” He didn’t receive any reply. “Severus!” he tried again with more power.
“What?” Came the terse and angry response.
“Would it be safe for me to put you into a bath of warm water?” Remus asked. For all he knew, getting Snape wet could be the worst thing for him. Also, warming him too quickly could cause problems as well. Severus’ eyes were drifting shut again. Remus said his name sharply so that his head bobbed up, and then repeated the question again.
“Not too hot,” was his reply, “not at first. I’ll rewarm easier than with real hypothermia, but I’ll cool the bath like a huge ice cube, you’ll need to use magic or more water to maintain temperature and slowly heat it up.” It was odd, he wasn’t sure how he knew that.
…Why were they talking about a bath of ice cubes? The last thing he wanted was an ice cube to be anywhere near him, never mind being put in a tub of them! He had to tell him not to do it, that he needed to be warmer, not colder, anything but colder. He went to speak the name of his attendant but found himself drawing a blank. Who was the owner of these gentle hands, this patient voice? He should know, he’d just known. He was completely spent just contemplating it.
“I can do that, it would be easier on me than maintaining all of these separate Warming Charms. I’m going go and run a bath, I’ll be right back, here’s the bucket if you need it.” He went into the adjoining room and turned the taps on after sterilizing the tub and surrounding surfaces and fixtures.
He checked on Severus multiple times while the overly large tub filled with water that was slightly above room temperature. He stopped it at just under three quarters full, wanting to get his master into the water before he made it too hot, and leaving some room seemed the easiest way to do that. Some of his extremities had been showing signs of true frostbite, so he didn’t want to cause him more discomfort by putting him into water that was too hot for those damaged parts of him, whether he said it would be easier because this was magically induced or not.
Severus trusted the owner of the hands and voice more and more every time they returned. Each time he felt their departure, he somehow felt in his core that would be the last of it and he would be left alone in the cold wilderness. Where else would be so biting, so frigid and desolate? He was encased in ice and pain and he didn’t know which he would rather have win the war that was raging though his body. His teeth gnashed together and he thought only briefly of his tongue, when the hands returned again, warming his face, smoothing the hair from his eyes and saying ridiculous things like, ‘hold on’ and ‘it will be better soon, I promise’. He held those lies close and treasured them almost more than he would the truth. Who would go through the trouble of lying only to give him hope? Whoever they were, he loved them. He was delirious with it, or the cold, or the grinding of his ribs, who could tell it all apart?
“I’m going to lift you from the bed, I’ve just spelled your bandages so they won’t be compromised by the water,” the voice said to him. He tried to open his eyes to put a face to it, but half of his vision seemed to be blurry and unfocused. The other half was only pain.
He felt colder than ever before, but it lasted only moments before he felt himself submerged in glorious warmth. His extremities tingled most uncomfortably, but it didn’t matter. He took what felt like the first whole breath he could remember, the moisture and heat in the air seeming to warm him from the inside. He moaned obscenely even as the water around him began to cool. He writhed around, desperate to find more heat.
“Don’t worry, I’ve got you,” the voice returned as the water around him warmed slowly. He could have wept. He might have been weeping. He didn’t feel at all himself, whoever that was supposed to be. The hands caressed his shoulders, his neck. They touched his face, his lips, the deep crescents under his eyes. The air was warm against the exposed skin of his face. He felt the water heat again and tried to pull himself into consciousness. He needed to be alert, who knew what would happen if he wasn’t? Anxiety threatened to scorch through him like acid, or was that just a burning in his stomach?
“Severus,” the voice said, “you’re looking a little green, are you going to be sick again?”
He wasn’t sure if his mouth was wired to his brain any longer, because no sound occurred though he desperately wanted to say ‘yes’. It didn’t seem to matter; he was eased into a sitting position, hands becoming arms as they held him vertical. He spilled the remaining contents of his stomach into a bucket that seemed to come out of nowhere, once, twice. His head fell to the side, landing on the warm cushion of a bare forearm.
“That’s it,” the voice said as if vomiting was some sort of accomplishment. The hands waited, leaving him sitting partially out of the blissfully warm water, bathing him in it out of cupped fingers to keep him from growing icicles. The voice maybe decided that he was done purging and eased him back under the water, which seemed to grow even warmer as he slid back into it.
He wanted to reach out, to thank this person who did for him what he knew he couldn’t do for himself. However, his hands ached in a way he was certain wasn’t just from the cold. His whole body was suffused with agony. It was greatly abated by the mystifying knowledge that he wasn’t alone; even more startling was that whoever was with him cared about his comfort. He was so tired, maybe they’d let him rest?
A hand patted his cheek lightly. “I don’t think you should sleep right now, Severus, not until the Healer is back and says it’s alright.”
He gasped, feeling horror at the words for some reason. He didn’t know why, but he knew he had to get away. He tried valiantly to rise, but strong arms kept him from so much as thrashing. Somehow he managed, “Please, no Healers,” but he couldn’t say how he’d done it or if the sounds had actually come from his own mouth.
The hands held him carefully in the warm water he really didn’t want to leave anyway, while the voice said, “They won’t purposefully hurt you, Severus; I wouldn’t let them.”
Somehow that made him still. He relaxed into the heat, into the hands that immediately stopped trying to hold him down. The voice took over then, telling him small stories and pieces of information about names he should have been able to associate with faces, with memories. He listened, knowing that he was intruding, eavesdropping on someone else’s life. Nothing so marvelous could ever be his. Even as he thought it, he wondered how he knew it to be true. These words were being whispered into his ear. The water warmed again and he thought he would expire from delight amidst his anguish.
He didn’t know how long he floated there, sponging up the heat of the water and the kindness that was for some reason being extended to him, before another, new voice broke the reverie.
“You could have called for help.” A woman’s voice cut through the room. Severus wondered why on Earth he would have called for help with this person looking after him.
The voice answered irately, “You’ve been gone for almost two hours, the Warming Charms weren’t working. I called for help like you said, twice even, and no one came.”
“Still, making medical decisions isn’t for someone of your station.”
“You’re telling me that I made an egregious error by putting him into a tub of progressively warmer water?” Remus asked.
“Not at all, it’s actually all we have at the moment. The potion that did this to him is being tested, but at this point we’re not certain what will be safe for him to take with it in his system. I’m just saying that you had no way of knowing that it wouldn’t harm anything. You didn’t follow directions.”
The new voice sounded stressed out and resentful, a combination he instinctively knew was dangerous. Without his permission, he made a keening sound and tried to burrow further into the water. The hands moved over his shoulders in a calming motion and he tried to hold still.
“No, maybe not; I used my best judgment. If you had done something similar earlier today, we might not be in this mess.”
“Just keep him warm until I come back in a few hours. If you keep his temperature up enough, the un-fever should break and he’ll only need moderate heating - blankets and a Warming Charm, for the rest of the night. You’ll know you’re there when his skin no longer feels frigid under the water line and his color starts to improve. Do you know how to take his temperature?”
“I can do all of that, and yes.”
“Don’t allow him to sleep until he’s started to warm himself naturally and you move him back to the bed. Dry him completely first, preferably with a spell so it will be swifter. Since you have the situation so well in hand, I’ll leave you to it. Call for help if you need anything; I’ll look into why no one came last time.”
“I will do that, thank you,” the voice said. When the other voice, the one belonging to the woman, didn’t respond, Severus hoped she’d finally gone away. His unease immediately settled itself.
“Christ it’s hot in here,” the voice complained. The person moved away from him slightly and there was the sound of crinkling fabric. When the loss went on too long, he reached out with his arm, which felt like a useless tree trunk attached to his torso. He was just about to give up and slink back under the water when a warm hand encircled his wrist. “Sorry, just getting more comfortable.” The hand slid down his arm until it rested on his bicep. “Don’t worry, I won’t leave you alone here.”
He was fed a small drink of water and left to float with the hands securing him to reality as he felt the water warm and warm again. He could have floated there for hours for all he knew. Eventually, the voice gently roused him from his peaceful lack of thoughts. “I haven’t had to heat the water in almost twenty minutes, Severus. You’re still warm to the touch, even the bits of you that aren’t submerged aren’t more than a little chilly. I think we can move back to the bed, you’re more wrinkled than a soggy prune.”
Severus couldn’t think of a reason not to go along with what the voice wanted. But it seemed he was expected to do nothing as he was floated out of the water and dried in a split second. He began to shiver again as he was moved briefly through the open air, but it abated as he was slid into a bed covered with Warming Charms. He felt much more himself, trying once again to open his eyes and see his surroundings, feeling like he knew where he was and who he was for the first time in hours. Everything was much clearer than last time he’d experimented with his vision. It took only a moment before the sight of the white ceiling was replaced by that of a set of startlingly beautiful amber eyes. Everything seemed to click into place suddenly and he breathed, “Remus.”
The eyes began to tear up at this and a warm hand was placed in the middle of his chest.
“You worried me there for a while,” Remus told him.
“Water, please,” Severus said, knowing now he wouldn’t be denied.
Remus held a glass to his lips and let him drink greedily.
“Tired,” Severus said, not seeming to be able to manage more than a couple words at that moment.
“I know you are, you should be able to sleep now, I think you’re through the worst of it.”
“No, you.”
“I’m alright, I’ll get some sleep in this chair here. You just focus on getting some rest.”
Severus struggled, managing to move himself over a couple of inches, breathing heavily and in more pain than he would ever openly admit. “Here,” he said, letting his eyes close again, finally remembering why he only had sight in one of them. He couldn’t suppress a shudder and felt as if he might vomit again, though both sensations passed quickly as he raised his shields.
“Severus, I’m not going to steal your bed,” Remus protested.
“Get in, you’re warm,” Severus told him, unsure where the desire for closeness he was experiencing had come from.
“I don’t know if it’s a good idea…” Remus tried again.
“I’m already broken, what could it hurt?” Severus felt his voice growing stronger even as energy seemed to be flooding out of his body.
“You’re not broken, my love,” Remus told him, peeling back the blankets and maneuvering inside.
Just when Severus thought he was getting a handle on things, Remus went and said something like that. He was too tired to pursue it because as soon as Remus sidled up to him with his warmth and strong arms, Severus was sure he was already asleep.
Remus didn’t sleep for some time. He lay there under the heated blankets, holding his master close and thinking that they were almost home. His fingers trailed across the burgundy scars that he was sure would never completely disappear. Severus seemed open to him, to his affection now, but who could say what would happen once they were back at the house. More than anything he wanted things to go back to normal, but he’d happily settle for all of them being together, and that, for the moment at least, was attainable.

A/N: I hope you liked it! It’s been a while, but it was definitely a longer chapter and I hope that makes up for it. I tried to leave it in a bit of a nicer place than the last few installments. Hopefully it didn't end up being too sappy. Thank you for reading this crazy long story, and as always, I would appreciate any thoughts, comments or insights you may have. I’ll be back with more as soon as life will let me!
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The Long Road