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Memories of Deception	By : professorflo Category: Harry Potter > General > General Views: 20869 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any of the characters within. I make no money from this story.

Chapter List
- 1-Memories of Deception
- 2-2
- 3-3
- 4-4
- 5-5
- 6-6
- 7-7
- 8-8
- 9-9.
- 10-10
- 11-11
- 12-12
- 13-13
- 14-14
- 15-15
- 16-16
- 17-17
- 18-18
- 19-19
- 20-20
- 21-21
- 22-22
- 23-23
- 24-24
- 25-25
- 26-26
- 27-27
- 28-28
- 29-29
- 30-30
- 31-31
- 32-32
- 33-33
- 34-34
- 35-35
- 36-36
- 37-37
- 38-38
- 39-39
- 40-40
- 41-41
- 42-42
- 43-43
- 44-44
- 45-45
- 46-46
- 47-47
- 48-48
- 49-49
- 50-50
- 51-51
- 52-52
- 53-53
- 54-54
- 55-55
- 56-56
- 57-57
- 58-58
- 59-59
- 60-60
- 61-61
- 62-62
- 63-63
- 64-64
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- 66-66
- 67-67
- 68-68
- 69-69
- 70-70
- 71-71
- 72-72
- 73-73
- 74-74
- 75-75
- 76-76
- 77-77
- 78-78
- 79-79
- 80-80
- 81-81
- 82-82
- 83-83
- 84-84
- 85-85
- 86-86
- 87-87
- 88-88
- 89-89
- 90-90
- 91-91
- 92-92
- 93-93
- 94-94
- 95-95
- 96-96
- 97-97
- 98-98
- 99-99
- 100-100
- 101-101
- 102-102
- 103-103
- 104-104
- 105-105
- 106-106
- 107-107
- 108-108
- 109-109
- 110-110
- 111-111
- 112-112
- 113-113
- 114-114
- 115-115
- 116-116
- 117-117
- 118-118
- 119-119
- 120-120
- 121-121
- 122-122
- 123-123
- 124-124
- 125-125
- 126-126
- 127-127
- 128-128
- 129-129
- 130-130
- 53
- 54
- 55
Disclaimer: See Chapter 1:
"You enjoy pleasing me, don't you, pet?" His voice was muffled.
Hermione blushed. "Yes, sir." Even now, after what she had been ordered to do, it wasn't a lie. How can I still want him when he's told me I have to take Harry to Voldemort, probably to die. How could she be so calm and unconcerned about it? On one level she knew she should be angry and upset, yet she seemed strangely detached from her emotions since Snape had ordered her to stop fighting the order.
Snape's question had elicited more response in her than the thought of leading her best friend to his death. Hermione couldn't bring herself to care. She shifted slightly in his lap so as to be able to curl herself closer against him. He had pulled her on top of him as soon as Voldemort had left the room, wrapping his arms around her and nuzzling into the hair just behind her ear almost absentmindedly.
He'd been silent until a moment ago, and from the brief look at his face she'd been able to get, she knew that he was troubled about something. He still hadn't looked at her, despite his question, his face now buried into the crook of her neck, the gesture almost childlike in that he seemed to be seeking some sort of comfort from her. Hermione managed to snake one arm under his and around his waist, and the other around his shoulder, pulling him closer. He tensed for a moment before relaxing into her embrace. She waited for him to speak again, but he didn't.
They sat like that for a few minutes in silences, both immersed in their own reflections. Hermione could have almost felt content, if not for the occasional thought that crossed her mind reminding her of the horrible situation she was in. They soon passed, her mind returning to the man whose arms were wrapped around her so tightly, and who she held in return.
The peace was broken all of a sudden when Snape released her with a sigh, pulling her arms from round him and pushing her away from his body. He held her with a firm grip on her upper arm, although for some reason he still would not look at her.
"You are not to mention the task you have been set concerning Potter, unless spoken to about it by either myself or the Dark Lord. You will not dwell on it. I will not have you acting out in defiance because you are unhappy about your orders." He stopped suddenly, turning to face her. He raised a hand and stroked down the side of her face with one finger. "Do not worry. It is not for you to change what must be. Harry Potter will face the Dark Lord, and he must die." Somehow it seemed that he was almost pleading with her, his face earnest and open.
"Do you understand, pet?" he whispered, pulling her towards him again, but not breaking eye contact. There was something in his face that she couldn't read. At first she thought it might be desperation, but she must be wrong. Why would he be so desperate for her to accept that Harry would die? She gave him the answer he was looking for.
"I understand." She spoke solemnly.
He leant forwards and pressed a chaste kiss to her lips. She tried not to sigh as pulled away, but he obviously read the disappointment in her eyes. He chuckled gently, but even in the gloom of the room she could see that his expression did not match the sound. What's he hiding? What were they talking about that I wasn't allowed to hear? Was it something about me? And why does he look so sad?
"Later, pet." He cupped her face, and she pressed her cheek into his hand, smiling shyly at him. A strange expression crossed his face, and he jerked his hand away and pushed her to her feet. "It's time to go," he said sharply as he rose from the chair and started towards the door, barely looking to see if she was following him.
Hermione trailed along behind him, head down, barely noticing the gloomy halls and rooms they passed through. She was wondering about the emotion she had seen on his face, a look of longing for something. Or someone. Was he thinking of someone else while he held her? A sharp pang pierced her chest. He loves someone, and maybe he can't be with her for some reason. Whoever it was, she knew it wasn't her. He has me. I already belong to him.
Snape sat nursing a large glass of firewhisky as he sat gazing blankly at nothing in particular. He'd sent the girl straight to bed, and was waiting until she was sleeping before retiring himself. He didn't think he would be able to stomach taking advantage of her right now, no matter how much she might seem to want him to. It was all an illusion, just like the tender way she had seemed to hold him earlier.
It was becoming so hard to remember that she was only acting this way in a bid to keep them both alive. For now at least. He'd done the job of manipulating her emotions all too well, and he'd stupidly begun to believe his own deception. He was a foolish old man, wishing for something he could never have.
At least the Dark Lord seemed to be well and truly fooled. There had been a few moments when Snape had thought the game was up, yet he'd managed to keep calm and talk his way out of trouble. The Dark Lord had been suspicious of many of the things he had seen in Snape's memories, but the girl's eager obedience and need to please had wiped away any doubts, judging by his desire to use her as the model for his enslavement of muggleborns. Even her reaction to the order to bring Potter to the Dark Lord had been easily explained away.
Snape though about the instructions he had been forced to give to the girl in exchange for her wand. He could see them causing a few problems in the morning when he gave her back her memories. She would probably be furious with him over the other things that had been spoken of, such as the Dark Lord's plans to breed a new army of followers by mixing pure and muggle blood.
How would she feel at the thought of him being allowed to keep her if the Dark Lord won, and their having children? She would hate it, he knew, although to him the idea strangely did not seem that repulsive, excepting the part where the child would be reared to be loyal to the Dark Lord.
Snape leant his head tiredly against the back of the chair. Tomorrow was going to be one of the more difficult days, he was sure. The potion she had taken would be wearing off sometime in the morning, and without it she would doubtlessly be less easy to manage, and most likely embarrassed at the way she had thrown herself at him. When will all this end?
The girl would most likely want him to rescind the instructions he had given her concerning Potter, but he didn't want to, knowing it was a good way to ensure the boy meet his fate, in case Snape himself was in no position to get to the boy. Did he dare defy Dumbledore's instructions and explain why Potter needed to be taken to the Dark Lord? Maybe he should speak to her about it tomorrow. Would she be able to understand? Maybe she was the key for getting the information to Potter. He couldn't see how the boy would accept it otherwise.
Snape had played his part almost too well. Would the boy even believe what he had to say? His hatred for Snape was far too strong, even before he had killed Dumbledore. No, he'd think it was just a ploy to destroy him. How would he be able to ensure a meeting with Potter at such a time, in any case. Using the girl as the go between was a far better option. He resolved to speak to her about it at some point, although he would have to do so without that damned portrait listening in.
A while later Snape finally put down his empty glass and headed for his room. Surely the girl would be asleep by then. Entering quietly he breathed a sigh of relief as the lump under with covers didn't move. He padded across to use the bathroom before returning to stand at the side of his bed.
The girl was lying facing his side of the bed, with one arm outstretched slightly so that her hand rested of the edge of his pillow. His stomach clenched at the sight of her beautiful, serene face, her hair spread out like a halo around her. How he wished she was there, in his bed, of her own free choice. But he knew that would never happen.
He lifted the sheets and slipped silently beneath them. He lay facing the girl, and he continued to watch her for a few moments, noting the way the strands of hair that lay across her face move as she breathed. Without thinking, he reached across and brushed them away gently. Her eyes opened sleepily. The girl looked back at him silently as his hand stilled over her cheek. Her tongue darted out, wetting her lips. For a moment he was tempted to kiss her, but he'd spent the whole evening trying to avoid this exact temptation, and with an effort he forced himself to turn away.
"Keep your hair off my pillow, girl. I have no desire to be strangled by it in the night."
He rolled over and closed his eyes, trying to ignore the image of her hurt face that seemed to be branded on his mind. It was a long time before he fell asleep and when he finally did, he only dreamed of her.
It was early when Hermione finally gave up on sleep. She had lain awake half the night, catching the off half an hour here and there. She had woken up fully possibly an hour ago, held tight in the arms that had wrapped themselves around her at some point during the night. Snape had pulled her tight against his chest, and hadn't let go since, occasionally clutching her tighter as some dream had caused him to whimper or groan into the hair he had sunk his face into, despite his earlier words. She had been unable to pull away without disturbing him, as any effort to do so had only made him pull her even closer in response.
He seemed to have relaxed somewhat since she had woken, and he hadn't made a sound for some time. She thought she might be able to escape without waking him up. Why she didn't feel like facing him this morning she wasn't sure. She had been desperate for his attention last night, but had been sent to bed with her nightly potion and then left to wait. She had waited for him for some time, but had finally started to doze when he had crept into the room, obviously trying not to wake her. She'd wondered if he'd not wanted her that evening because he'd had someone else on his mind.
She'd lain still, more asleep than awake anyway, as she'd waited for him to come to bed. She'd drifted off for a few moments before feeling the bed dip as he climbed in. Hermione had tried to continue feigning sleep, realising that he didn't want to talk to her, but she'd been unable to stop herself from opening her eyes when she'd felt him brush away the hair tickling her nose.
For a moment she'd thought that she'd got it wrong, that he had meant to wake her, that he was going to kiss her, and her heart had leapt. The harsh words that had followed had cut her far worse than he'd probably meant them to. She had struggled to drop off after that, having been unable to take her mind off Snape and the events of that night.
When she had awoken from a short doze halfway through the night to find Snape had rolled over and thrown his arms around her, she wasn't quite sure how to respond. If it had been a few mere few hours ago she would have pressed herself further into his embrace, but now… Sometime during the night something had changed. She still wanted him, wanted more than anything to please him, but it felt like her mind had been in some sort of fog the last few days, and now it was beginning to clear. She felt confused, particularly in regards of her feelings for Snape, and she would prefer not to have to face him yet, if only she could manage to escape his arms.
She gently pulled away from him, ducking under his arm and laying it carefully across her pillow instead. She moved to sit up, but the moment she'd thought herself free, a hand shot out and grabbed her by the wrist. Damn! She sat still, not ready to look at him yet. She was half afraid that he would pull her back into bed, that he would want to fuck her. She was surprised therefore, when he spoke.
"Get dressed and once you are ready come down to my study. The door will be open. There is no need for you to make breakfast today. I will provide it."
Hermione looked at round him, astonished by his words, but he had let go and was already climbing out of the other side of bed. He did not look back at her as he entered his bathroom. She hurried to do as told, squashing down the other half of her that had not been afraid, that had wanted him to pull her back down on the mattress. She needed to sort out her feelings, but for the moment it would seem they would have to wait. Why does he want to see me in his study? What did I do wrong?
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Memories of Deception