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And They Didn\'t Live Happily Ever After	By : ElizabethStump Category: Harry Potter > Het - Male/Female > Snape/Hermione Views: 90306 -:- Recommendations : 2 -:- Currently Reading : 2
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 54
- 55
- 56
“And They Didn't Live Happily Ever After”
Chapter Fifty-Four
“Of Bets and Brandy, of Binges and Brave Gryffindors, and Why the Bath Is Boiling Hot”
Disclaimer: I claim to disclaim, yet by disclaiming, I am making a claim. How silly this logic puzzle is to simply state that Rowling owns Harry Potter, and I do not, though if you've read this far it should be pretty bloody obvious.

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The rap upon Severus' office door had a cadence to it, indicating that Miss Brown was in a good mood, something of a welcome sign considering how she had been running hot and cold as of late.

“May I enter,” the witch asked, looking more cheerful than usual, “or would you rather come to my office?”

The weary wizard gauged his employer's mood. He didn’t know if something would turn her disposition sour and thereby risk having all his papers strewn about his office in a fit should something upset her. Playing it safe, Severus suggested they go to her office, using the truthful fact there was more room in there to talk and possibly take tea as well.

Settled upon a comfy chair, with his cup and saucer in hand, Severus prompted her that he was ready to talk.

“Well, first of all, your chess set came in. Would you like Wonkle to deliver it to your flat, or have Marf pick it up?” she began.

“Either way works for me,” he replied, trying to keep his mind off his upcoming meeting with Hermione that night. He was hoping she was able to procure the boomslang skin that she predicted would have come in last Friday.

“Next,” Lavender soldiered on sunnily, not noticing Severus' distracted behavior, “everything is settled with the lawyers regarding Albert Dobmeir and his legal problems. The monies have been returned to Haymitch Spawn, Trevor's father. The judge, who took over the case from that dodgy arbitrator, has rendered a quick, fair, and equitable resolution to Albert's wife's will. The relatives are gone, and though my lawyers could not get all the Galleons that his wife's cousins pilfered, the judge did rule that they had to return three-quarters of the cost of the room and board they incurred.”

Severus hummed in acknowledgment absentmindedly. He had heard everything Miss Brown said and understood it, but his mind was elsewhere. He was happy for this news, it was just that his mind became more and more fixated in coming up with contingencies should the fluxweed prove to be unobtainable via the original plan. Tropical Storm Henri had swept through Georgia and the Carolinas over the weekend, and the full moon was tomorrow. He wondered how the fields fared.

“Also, I have purchased a place in Diagon Alley for the adult novelty store and was able to get it at a decent price. I signed the paperwork over the weekend, and crews are beginning the refurbishment today,” she announced with some small amount of smug triumph. “I'm having them work on the top floor first, making it into an office space. It should be done by the end of the week. Once it's done, I'll Obliviate everyone who worked on that office and cast a Fidelius Charm on the office as well, with me as the Secret Keeper.”

Severus was brought out of his reverie with the mention of a Secret Keeper. He had been listening, but Lavender had finally grabbed his attention, mostly. Now that his mind wasn't elsewhere, he finally noticed that Wonkle had brought a tray with his favorite nibbles with the tea service. He grabbed a jammy thumb biscuit before sitting back in his chair, giving Miss Brown his complete regard.

“You, Ginny, and Draco will be the only ones who'll know, besides me,” the witch continued, giving Severus a pointed glare that Hermione was not to be included in this part of the plan. “Once you are gone and safely wherever you have gone off to, I'll end the Fidelius Charm. But while it's in place, you and Ginny will be able to brew the Polyjuice Potion without the risk of being discovered while construction continues on the floors below you.”

“And getting there without being unobserved?” Severus interjected.

“Floo connection. From the research I've done on the Fidelius Charm, it will allow only those within the Secret Keeper's informed circle to know of or access the Floo.” Lavender gave a self-satisfied smile, knowing she had done her research beforehand to address nearly every conceivable possibility. “The Floo connection should be done either tomorrow or Wednesday, but I informed the construction crew to not use it once it's connected – not before I take care of memories and charms,” she added.

Nodding to himself, Severus checked some things off the list in his mind. “And have you and the Weasley twins come up with a name for this adult novelty store yet?” He didn't want to imagine the name he'd be calling out when Flooing to the office to work with Ginny. “And I thought the twins would also be buying the property jointly with you,” Severus added, concerned if – as co-property owners – the twins would wonder where their top floor space had gone. He questioned if Miss Brown was quick enough with a wand to Obliviate them both.

His employer's face suddenly looked pained as she placed her forehead in her hand, as it to ward off an impending headache. “One name the twins want to call it is 'The Wicked Witch,' which is wrong on so many levels.” Severus scrunched his eyes up in revulsion to the suggestion, recalling recent events. “It's so sophomoric,” she groaned, “besides, there is a strip club named that already.”

Severus forcefully shoved the memory of The Wicked Witch out of his head, as it was behind that particular strip club that Pansy Parkinson was found dead. “Well, what name do you suggest?”

“I was thinking something along the lines of 'Circe's Boudoir' or 'The Purple Rose,' but Draco came up with 'The Sirens' Secrets'.”

“That's it,” Severus jumped in. “It's subtle. It's alluring without being lurid.”

If Severus went through all that bother to create sex potions, he would at least like to know that they were being sold at an establishment that didn't sound like a strip club. He also didn’t want a name from a trashy romance novel that some of his older clients were prone to quote from when describing the sexual favors they were searching for.

“That's just about what Draco said,” she admitted. “As for the twins, they were happy with my insistence to put the capital upfront for the property and have it titled in my name, since they are using their own capital invested to make most of the goods to stock the store. We're splitting the construction costs.

“But on to other business. Now that the male enhancement potion is done and the temporary hair dye will begin production in time for the Ministry Masked Ball, how is the edible body paint coming along?”

Severus really hated working on the edible body paint. He had done all that work using moonstone, which tasted like chalk no matter what he did, to finally come to the realization with Hermione's prompting that moonstone would not be the best ingredient to use. She pointed out that the moonstone could give away a person's feelings a little more honestly than they were willing to admit. Instead, body-temperature reactive body paint was a much better avenue to explore, with fewer complications and the chance of fewer disgruntled and unhappy customers. Between other last-minute interruptions, surprises, and creating the paper trail of Delgado's correspondence with his employer, Severus hadn't put much work into this latest potion.

“Honestly, not very well.” Gazing at the fire slowly burning in the fireplace grate, the Potions master knew what he would have to do, but he knew Miss Brown would not want to hear it. “I have to put this project down and step away from it temporarily. I need to let my mind get away from this and approach it anew once I've had a rest from it. Inspiration has usually struck when I've been stumped like this before.”

“And when do you anticipate your holiday,” she hinted delicately. “I hope you will have time to complete it beforehand. We are also looking at an opening date of December 6th, just in time for Christmas shopping season. It would not make or break the store should Mr. Dobmeir need to finish your work, or should you finish it after the store's opening, but I would prefer to have as many items available for the grand opening as possible,” she explained, hoping to let him know from a purely business perspective that she needed to know.

Draco had nagged him, despite being assured that he would be notified when there was an update on the procurement of each ingredient, but that didn't stop his incessant harping on the subject that vexed Severus. As much as he wanted to be short with Miss Brown, the Potions master held the sharpness of his tongue, as she only made mention of it when prompted by his mentioning.

“These things have a way of working themselves out,” he found himself saying, to his own chagrin. This was advice he could only fully believe in when it came to own his talents and the craft where Potions was concerned, but would scoff at if suggested to apply this philosophy to real-life experience in everything else.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Hermione found the drudgery of work to be a welcome escape from her home life. Since Ron was no longer working nights at The Listing Broom, he spent his evenings home now instead, when not going out to the occasional business dinner with Bascom Nettleton, owner of the Mercury Broom Company and the Chudley Cannons’ First String Keeper's new sponsor. Since he started going on muscle-enhancing potions, Ron's libido had reached the level of a rabid niffler in the middle of mating season. Even after coming home from a post-practice workout with the Mercury Broom's personal trainer, who was trying to get Ron beefed up and ready for their upcoming 2004 calendar shoot, the young wizard was ready for a tussle or two with his wife. Though his technique had not improved much, his increased stamina in the bedroom merely meant that Hermione had to put up with shagging her husband for longer periods of time. And though since Severus had helped train her body to relax and she found orgasming to be a much easier pinnacle to reach, the increased frequency and prolonged act of Ron humping his wife into the mattress, or random piece of furniture, still proved to be tiresome to her. Her sexual indifference to her husband only made it more of a chore.

There was no passion in the act for Mrs. Weasley, as her love for him did not grow or develop into anything more intimate. She still resented Ron due to the knowledge that she caught him shagging another wizard, though Ron was none the wiser she was aware of this fact. Him fucking her was something to tolerate, an act that she must pretend to be ever grateful for, since Ron's previous lack of stamina had been an issue of contention for Hermione before. Knowing that a change in Ginny's bedroom behavior led to Harry's accurate suspicions of his own wife having an affair, Hermione kept up the act in order to avoid any perceivable deviations from her usual behavior.

So Monday night, Hermione stayed at work until it was time to go over to Severus' place.

As Severus opened the door, Hermione trudged in and straight into her lover’s arms, burying her head against his chest, with a sigh of relief escaping her lips now that she was in her sanctuary.

With a bit of mock overacting, Severus inhaled deeply. “Come straight from work, have we?” he asked jovially, trying to lighten the mood. “Hmm, what do I smell?” He inhaled deeply once more, exaggerating the sound. “Chinese Chomping Cabbage.” He sniffed again, burying his prominent nose into her hair, barely confined by a bedraggled braid. “Valerian, birch and...” He inhaled once more. “Exhaustion?”

He tilted her head up, a slight smile played upon his lips.

“Oh, Severus!” she whinged, before shuffling over to one of the wing back chairs to flop ungracefully into it. She dreaded this moment, but she figured it was best to get it over with so they could at least attempt to enjoy the rest of the evening together. “I couldn't get the boomslang skin.”

With her eyes closed, Hermione knit her brow together in discontentment as she emitted a small whimpering groan from the back of her throat.

Severus was a little insulted that she started out their evening with the news that she could not procure a needed ingredient for his plans. Granted, he had high hopes and expectations of her having gotten a hold of some boomslang skin, but it stung him a little that she threw that information out before even a proper kiss and greeting.

“Is that all you think I have to look forward to with your company?” Severus asked, trying not to sound bitter. “That ingredients are all I wish to see you for?” It was his initial desire just a few months back, but their relationship had changed so dramatically since then. The wizard moved to sit in the matching wing back chair next to her.

Hermione's brow became even more furrowed as she leaned forward to place her face in her hands in order to collect her thoughts before speaking.

After a deep cleansing breath, she lifted her hands away from her face and turned her tired countenance toward her lover.

“I'm sorry. I thought that I'd get this bit of bad news done and out of the way so we could move on and enjoy the rest of the evening together. It’s been hell since I left here last week, and I'm rather exhausted,” she explained, hoping to take away whatever slight Severus felt. “I know how you truly feel about me, and I know you're not using me. I just thought I could just get it off my chest right away since it's been bothering me all weekend.”

“What happened? Another catastrophe in the lab?” Severus asked in jest.

“Yes,” she replied flatly. “One of the shippers mixed up the labels for lemonite and sulfur.”

Severus hissed in response to this news, flinching, knowing what sort of damage that could result in.

Hermione continued ranting, “But that happened after I overslept for the first time in over four years on the job, and, additionally, Trevor showed initiative and showed up early to work for once and tested the boomslang before I even got there.” She let out yet another sigh of exasperation.

Chastising himself for keeping her up past midnight that Thursday as they tested the last of the male enhancement potion, Severus apologized, “I'm sorry I kept you awake as long as I did, then, the night before.”

Hermione cut him off before he could continue. “You weren't the reason I overslept. Ron was.”

Severus looked at her, a scowl growing upon his face. “Was he abusive to you again?”

“No, no, nothing like that. It's that damn potion he's taking,” she explained, exasperated just thinking about the hours of Ron rutting she had had to endure as of late.

Comprehension dawned on Severus' face. And while Hermione was not being emotionally abused by her husband anymore, she still looked to be suffering from her husband’s attentions.

“At least if I was interested or enjoyed it, it wouldn't be such a chore. I mean the last time I showed any interest really at all in Ron was the night of my anniversary,” the witch rambled on.

Severus stared at her, his face an unreadable mask.

Hermione noted the odd and unsettling lack of expression on Severus' face, then went on to explain herself. “I had a drink at the Grand Royal Supper Club. A Blue Fairy Martini. It made me horny as hell – and I've no reason why as alcohol normally doesn't make me feel that way. That’s when I came on to him and he rebuffed me, and I was upset he rejected me. So, I came here that night upset and angry, out of revenge...” She trailed off with her hand gesturing that they both knew the rest of story.

Looking at the dark-haired wizard anew, she saw a smirk play at the corners of his mouth.

“What?” Considering how awful that night played out, she was confused as to why he was smirking.

“You had a Blue Fairy Martini and you don't know why you were 'horny as hell?'” Severus asked, looking more and more amused.

“Should I?” Hermione looked a little bewildered, too tired to hide her lack of knowledge or as to guess why.

“Do you know how they distill Fairy Brandy?” he asked, which was answered with a shake of her head. “First of all, you know that Himeros is a progeny of Aphrodite and is sibling to Eros, Anteros, and Pothos?”

Hermione nodded, trying to find the mental energy to fully pay attention. Normally she'd be alert, but the sound of Severus' low and sonorous voice coupled with her exhaustion was making her eyelids feel heavy.

“Can we have a bit of tea to wake me up before we continue? Your voice, your lovely deep voice, is lulling me to sleep. As fascinating as this is, you are making want to curl up and drop off,” she admitted unabashedly, too tired to be coy about how alluring she found his voice.

Marf gladly served up tea, and Severus waited until Hermione was more alert and ready to continue listening.

“As I was saying, you know about Himeros, the god of sexual desire and impetuous love, and his family,” Severus continued. Hermione nodded that she was alert and knew her basic Greek mythology. “Well, not much is generally known beyond that. However, in the Restricted Section I found an obscure Greek Potions tome that had a chapter covering a variety of emotions one could elicit with certain potions. They didn't create the emotions out of nowhere, but merely amplified any feelings that already existed, even if they were subconscious emotions the person was not consciously unaware of. So if one was slightly envious of a person, a potion could enhance that into full-blown jealous rage. Another potion might bring out feelings of admiration, another anger, which if used improperly could result in someone flying into a blind rage. In the chapter, I found a potion regarding sexual desire, and it included the use of Fairy Brandy.”

“So what you are saying is that an Amortentia may make one infatuated with an intended target you may have no attraction to at all, but a potion of sexual desire would merely increase the desire one already had for someone?” Hermione asked, seeking clarification.

“Yes.”

“Ahhhh,” she replied, suddenly understanding why she was attracted to her husband and repulsed by Alan, who had accosted her after Ron left that night. It also explained why Hermione felt inexplicably drawn to Severus' flat that night as well, besides having a revenge fuck.

“Himeros, as explained in this book, supposedly had an affair with a naiad named Langia who lived in the freshwater spring in Nemea, in southern Greece; because she was tied to that particular spring, Himeros went to live with her. Their issue were winged creatures, supposedly the first winged water faeries.” Severus paused to take a sip of tea and gauged Hermione's continued interest before going on with his explanation. “Now this may all be mythological conjecture put to paper, but on the slopes of the hills of Nemea is an ancient magical vineyard, hidden from Muggles, which is irrigated with the waters of Langia's spring. And in the Spring evenings, winged fairies – the supposed descendants of the Greek god of sexual desire, which are commonly mistaken as moths by the local Muggle population – pollinate the grape blossoms. Those grapes are then turned into wine, which through further distillation of their essence results in Fairy Brandy.”

A pained groan suddenly escaped Hermione’s lips. Embarrassed by the realization, she buried her face in her hands. “Urgh, Pete should have never served me that shot of Fairy Brandy,” she mumbled into her hands.

“Wait, you had a full shot of Brandy Fairy in your Blue Fairy Martini?” Severus queried. He was shocked she showed that much restraint as she did the night she showed up.

“No, I swung by The Listing Broom one night. Actually, it was the night I came over and realized who you were really were,” she confessed. “I was still terribly confused and conflicted by the end of our evening, so before going home I swung by the bar for a drink to settle my nerves and give me a little courage. Well, Pete – the barkeep who took over for Ron when he left – gave me a full shot of it when I asked for something strong.”

Severus snapped his mouth shut realizing his mouth had fallen open. “Either the clueless dolt had no idea what he was serving you, or he hoped to land you in his bed later that night,” he ground out, annoyed by the ignorance of the boy.

“No, I think it was ignorance, since he was rather new at bar keeping and recently just out of Hogwarts,” Hermione said, standing up for Pete's defense in absentia. “He probably failed his Potions O.W.L.s. Besides, I did fairly well in Potions and I still had no idea about Fairy Brandy.”

“So what happened to you with a full shot of Fairy Brandy?”

Hermione fidgeted in her seat uncomfortably. “Well the Blue Fairy Martini was only a quarter shot, mixed with vodka, vermouth, blueberry liqueur and passion fruit juice, and that was enough to get me in the mood for sure.”

Severus gave her a stern glare that he was not fooled by her evasive answer, but the effect was lessened by the curious quirk of one amusedly raised eyebrow.

Closing her eyes, as she was embarrassed enough from remembering it alone, she professed, with reluctance, “I got up onto the bar and started singing.”

He kept staring at her knowing she hadn't fully divulged everything.

“All right,” she huffed in defeat. “I started stripping my clothes off, too. It was a good thing Rogina, the pub owner’s wife, stepped in and stopped me when she did.”

Severus had a satisfied and somewhat predatory smile upon his lips when Hermione finally looked at him.

“Do you have a rather lovely pair of coconuts,” he purred.

“Gah!” Hermione buried her hands in her face one more time. “I was hoping you hadn't read about that post-N.E.W.T.s binge.”

“I lost several Galleons that year as I had bet it was going to be Seamus Finnigan who would have wound up on the front page of the Daily Prophet. There is always someone who goes on a royal bender and winds up being front-page news,” he confessed unabashedly.

Hermione really did want to crawl into a hole at the moment, as she was his student and Severus was her professor at the time of that infamous incident.

Slightly lost in thought, Severus recalled, “Minerva won the bet that year. I had to question whether she encouraged you or provided some of the liquor involved in the incident.”

Hermione was aghast now, looking at Severus with shock that not only did the staff bet on which student would do something phenomenally embarrassing enough to make front-page news, but that her own Head of House bet on her.

“Don't look so shocked. You’d be surprised at what the staff at Hogwarts did, at least when I was there, to help break up the mind-numbingly mundane chores of teaching the same classes year after year, correcting mountains of scrolls of illegibly scribbled homework, and performing the other day-to-day duties we had,” the former professor explained. He suddenly desired a drop of something strong himself to help banish the memories that came flooding back from that period of his life.

Conceding that she really had never thought of her professors being equally bored as some of her classmates were with the rigors of studying and academia, Hermione felt a little bit more sympathetic towards Severus' years as a professor, more than she could initially appreciate until after having to train Trevor Spawn.

“So, you both bet on Gryffindors?”

“Yes, as Gryffindors, once properly pissed up to their eyeballs, are the only ones with enough fortitude to go ahead and do something outlandishly 'brave,'” Severus went on, exaggerating the word with mocking air quotes.

“What, and no other House has students to be that 'foolish,'” she retorted a bit tartly, the pride for her House slightly stung through this admission.

“Usually no,” Severus shot back, a bit smugly. “Ravenclaws are too smart to drink themselves that blisteringly blind. Hufflepuffs, if that drunk, tend to look out for one another and make sure their Housemates don't do anything too outrageous due in part to loyalty to one another. Slytherins try to engineer it so that if they do get that drunk, they're more discreet in their alcoholic-induced adventures; and if caught, they can at least bribe, Obliviate or blackmail their way out of it so that their exploits do not wind up in the Daily Prophet. Gryffindors, as a habit, tend to egg on the drunken party, convinced that it is characteristically brave to go ahead with some randomly suggested dare, or to go ahead with whatever drunken idea pops into their head.”

Hermione folded her arms, feeling as is some part of her character had been attacked and belittled. Severus never said she was a foolish drunk, but with a broad paintbrush, she felt that he painted her as one.

Knowing he had let his Slytherin pride be a bit too rough with his Gryffindor lover's dignity, he added, in hopes of thawing the distinct chill wafting from Hermione, “But be that as it may, Hufflepuffs are the biggest party poopers, ready to give up on a party in order to put in a good night's sleep than let loose. Ravenclaws usually prove to be a bunch of uptight arses, trying to figure out how much to drink without getting too drunk and tend to over-analyze everything. And never, well,” he paused, reaching across the space between his chair to gently squeeze Hermione's hand, “mostly never, with a few exceptions, Slytherins are not to be trusted around drunks since they will take advantage of the situation. Gryffindors, when it comes to drinking, can be fun and lively, and will not exploit a poor drunk sod. Their noble natures mean they can be a trusted friend to drink with,” Severus recalled. He remembered the many times he and Minerva, Sprout, Flitwick – his fellow Heads of House – would have several rounds of drinks at the end of the school year once the students had left on the Hogwarts Express; and what a good drinking companion the Head of Gryffindor was.

Hermione felt that that was the best apology he could give her for indirectly insulting her.

“And of these few exceptional Slytherins who can be trusted,” the circumspect witch asked, “can you name anyone who should, or can, be trusted?”

Severus got out of his chair to stand before Hermione, offering his hand to help her out of her chair. “There is one particular Slytherin I can name whom I think you can trust, considering he trusts you completely.”

Hermione placed her hand in his. She allowed him to pull her up out of her chair and back into his arms in a post-bickering embrace, despite how tired she still felt and would have preferred to keep sitting.

“Can I trust this Slytherin to make sure that if I fall asleep, that I'll at least get out the door at a decent time tonight?” Then with an exasperated huff, she added, “Not that that would do any good if my husband is waiting to jump my bones again the moment I walk through the door.

“Short of a Sleeping Draught, I don't know how to stop or curtail it. And if I complain about too much sex, then that's a risk of making him suspicious, since I complained he didn't have enough stamina before.” She tilted her head up, eyes pleading, “Any suggestions?”

“Have you eaten dinner?”

Hermione nodded, explaining she brought her lunch and dinner to work that day.

“Then let's discuss some possibilities while taking a bath,” he suggested, unable to stomach the discordant aroma of different ingredients commingling on her person.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The bath was commodious, large enough for both to comfortably fit without being cramped. Hermione sat in between his legs and let Severus lather her hair, luxuriating in the feeling of his long and nimble fingers massaging her scalp. She reveled in the intimacy of the moment, closing her eyes and trying to engrave the moment in her mind – the feeling of Severus’ chest against her back as he breathed in and out, the contours of bone and tendon as she rested her hand on his knee, the black hairs on his pale legs.

“So you say just a few drops of Sopophorous bean oil, mixed with a regular oil like almond oil or olive oil, will make a person drop off to sleep?”

“Yes, and applied during massage it will knock him out, but not suddenly like a Sleeping Draught would do. It will appear to be a natural reaction to the soothing touch of a massage,” Severus finished explaining.

Hermione was about to drop off in the bath to Severus' soothing touch herself. “Are you sure you didn't use any on me, because I could fall asleep right here, right now,” she murmured.

Nudging her forward off his chest, he filled the dipper with water. She tilted her head back and he rinsed the lather from her hair. The weight of the water pulled her hair long and straight against her back, and it tickled his lower abdomen and caressed his thighs.

Severus moved her hair aside before grabbing a bar of soap and washing her skin from the pungent scents that still clung to her. Hermione drew her knees to her chest and rested her cheek upon her knee, relaxing under her lover's tender ministrations.

“Is there anything else I can do to get him to stop humping me like a dog with a leg?”

“You're fairly knowledgeable about Potions ingredients. What other ingredients can you think of that might help him to sleep, or relax him so much as to counter the libido side effects of his potions?” he prompted her.

“Lavender...”

Severus hummed in agreement for her to go on.

“Eschscholzia californica.”

“But what parts of Eschscholzia californica?” he prompted her.

“The aerial parts.”

“Yes, very good. What else?”

“Lemon balm, valerian, motherwort, red clover, Anthemis nobilis and catnip.”

Severus filled the dipper once more and rinsed her back, then coaxed her to lean back against his chest as he started soaping her arms.

“You forgot another one, passion flower,” he added.

“Passion flower? I thought it was used more in love potions than as a sedative,” Hermione countered.

“It can be used for both. Anxiety can hinder arousal, while relaxation is conducive to arousal,” he expounded, as his lather-filled hands moved across Hermione's shoulders to begin slowly massaging her breasts.

Hermione, feeling simultaneously drowsy and aroused at the same moment, could appreciate the logic of Severus' explanation, and arched her back in response. A throaty chuckle came from the back of his throat, turning Hermione on even more. In response to Hermione aching for his touch, he lightened his attentions even more, delicately playing with her nipples which were quickly turning into firm peaks from his gentle teasing. A mewling plea came from her, as she arched her back even more trying to press her breasts more firmly into his soapy hands.

“Now,” he continued, hoping to continue their discussion while she was under a lust-filed fog. “How could one create a potion and discreetly administer it to someone unsuspectingly, in your situation.” For effect, he lightly flicked the tips of her nipples making her gasp at the pleasurable effect it had.

Hermione could only whine for Severus to continue.

“Now, now, how can one train to be a Potions mistress without being able to think under stressful conditions,” he murmured into her ear, continuing his attentions to her breasts. “How can. You slip him. A potion. Without. Him. Noticing.” he said, pausing every few words to play with Hermione’s nipples in order to tease her into trying to think while distracted.

Hermione stuttered a few incoherent vowels out before finding her tongue. “Um, in his juice at night?”

“And does he drink the same juice at breakfast?” Severus asked.

“Yes,” she gasped as one of Severus' hand slipped from her breasts and slipped down her stomach to cup her mons.

“Then how would you ensure he wouldn't drink it in the morning?” he prodded her into thinking, while also slipping a finger between her folds to start stroking her clitoris.

“I... I... I'd have to serve up the juice myself and slip it in?” she answered questioningly, since she was having great difficulty thinking at all.

“Yes, and how long do you think that will work until he catches on?”

“A couple times,” she moaned distractedly as her hips began rocking in time to the motion of Severus' hand.

Severus started having trouble concentrating as well as Hermione's movements were inadvertently stroking his now rock-hard erection against her back. A little repositioning and he could easily bury himself in her.

“So how else could one slip him a sedative?” he growled, trying to remain in control.

“Face cream.”

“What?”

The water in the tub started sloshing back and forth vigorously, splashing over the sides and onto the tile floor.

“Face cream!” Hermione fought to shout out. “He's using face creams at night to improve his skin before his photo shoot.”

Normally Severus would have given a derisive snort over the vanity of a man using night creams, but he was busy concentrating on the intellectual grilling of Hermione during his seduction of her.

“Does he have one he only uses at night?”

“Yes!”

Severus grabbed her hips to guide her up and slipped his own hips beneath her before guiding himself into her.

“Yes!” Hermione continued to shout, in response to Severus' last questions and in encouragement of what he was doing to her physically.

The water in the tub was now splashing violently over the sides as they rocked together, Severus' hands guiding her hips.

“And... And...” Severus gasped. 'Fuck it all, I'll finish the lesson later,' he thought before fully concentrating on the current task at hand.
Feeling relaxed, and yet also equally refreshed, Hermione used a towel to dry her hair before she would use a spell to finish drying it before going home. Severus was lying in his bed next to her, his eyes heavy.

“I can't drug him every night, as much as I'd like to,” Hermione admitted with resignation. “And then there is the question of the success of your male enhancement potion.” She swiveled her shoulders around to regard Severus. “If the male enhancement potion is similar to the effects I'm having to suffer through myself from Ron, then you might wind up with a bunch of witches trying to drug their husbands and lovers too.”

Severus blinked owlishly, suddenly feeling more alert with this fact Hermione pointed out. Realization that a bunch of non-interested witches putting up with unwanted amorous advances – well, it finally dawned on him that it was a problem.

Continuing with her current tangent of thought, she added, “But if you sold the male enhancement potion along with Blue Fairy Martinis, then women getting bored with their husbands' extra attentions wouldn't be an issue. They'd be just as eager for a good shag as well.”

Now Severus was sitting up, his mind quickly changing gears from blissful post-climax to Potions master mode. “What did you say was in that Blue Fairy Martini?”

“Quarter-shot of Fairy Brandy, Siberian vodka, vermouth, blueberry liqueur, and passion fruit juice,” she replied, suddenly remembering that she herself wondered if the passion fruit juice mixed with the Fairy Brandy was the impetus of her lust that night. Recalling Severus' recommendation for passion flower, she asked, “How does passion flower and passion fruit juice differ in their properties? You suggested passion flower for putting Ron to sleep, but the Blue Fairy Martini has passion fruit juice?”

Sitting forward now, his mind alert, he said, “Well, passion flower is good for sedatives, something I'm sure you've tested in your job, while the juice of the fruit is a much milder sedative, but with aphrodisiac properties. It's like oysters and chocolate; it's an ingredient to be used in aphrodisiacs, but is primarily imported as a food item so it is something that would not have come through your department for testing. Passion fruit juice would act as an enhancing agent for the Fairy Brandy, magnifying sexual desire one has already possessed.”

This made sense to Hermione and confirmed her hunch that the passion fruit juice coupled with the Fairy Brandy did arouse her desire -- what little she did have left at the time -- for her husband.

Severus rose from his bed and put on his dressing gown as Hermione finished drying her hair with a charm before getting dressed to go home.

Once dressed and her cloak placed upon her shoulder, Severus held Hermione, tipping her chin up to view her face as he tentatively spoke, “I would have to speak with Miss Brown, but I think she would be eager to agree to my suggestion of a new potion. If she agrees, would you like to work on a new potion with me? A female libido enhancing potion?”

Hermione smiled broadly. “I would love to. And who says it has to be for females only?” she added, remembering how Ron had not been in the mood at times when she was in need of a good shag and they had been fighting.

Severus recollected Hermione's laments about her being spurned. “Yes, indeed.”

Even though Hermione would be coming back over to his flat in three nights, it was no less difficult for either to say good night to the other. Kisses were slow and languid, unhurried in their fashion knowing that they'd eventually have to stop.

“I'll send an owl to you in the hand of Sebastian Degaldo with a list of ingredients to bring, in addition to the usual cauldron, utensils and implements we might need,” he informed her, speaking softly into her hair as they gave their final embrace of each other.

“Oh, darling,” Hermione sighed with a lighthearted gibe, “it's so sexy when you talk Potions.”

“Be careful, or I might have to give you a detention with that cheeky attitude,” he threw back at her in a matching tone.

“Will detention involve spankings?”

“Only if you're very good.” Severus held her at arm’s length, gently pushing her away. “Be gone, temptress, before you make me ravish you again.”

Hermione laughed lightly, realizing this was the first time they had sexually joked about their previous relationship as student and professor.

============

A/N: The title inspired by Lewis Carroll's “The Walrus and The Carpenter” poem from the section:
"The time has come," the Walrus said,

"To talk of many things:

Of shoes--and ships--and sealing-wax--

Of cabbages--and kings--

And why the sea is boiling hot--

And whether pigs have wings."
Langia is a genus of moths in the Sphingidae family. Yes, it is primarily a species located in Eastern Asia, but who is to say that the magical issue of a Greek god and water naiad would bother to follow the whims of taxonomists.
Eschscholzia californica is the Latin name for California poppy. The “aerial parts” refers to all parts of the plant above ground.
Anthemis nobilis is Roman Chamomile. “Both Roman and German chamomile have excellent calming properties, but Roman chamomile is more effective for irritation, impatience and feeling disagreeable, and has great value in treating PMS and other menstrual and menopausal problems, while German chamomile is superbly effective on the skin, not only to soothe and calm, but to heal and for tissue regeneration.” http://www.essentialoils.co.za/essential-oils/chamomile.htm
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And They Didn\'t Live Happily Ever After