The game and love

58

10 years later...

"It is likely that the Seattle Seahawks orginization will have a tough decision ahead of itself. They have been in the playoffs 10 out of the last 15 seasons and have been one of the best teams in the league in wins. However, the team has aged a great deal, many of the players from their last superbowl win are retired. Also, Draco Malfoy, the face of the Seahawks franchise during these last 15 seasons is in the last year of his 10 year 170 million dollar contract. Though he has expressed intrest in resigning when his contract expries this coming offseason, his agent when reached for comment said negotiations were dead and in all likely hood, if he plays again it will not be in a seattle uniform."

Draco was exhausted. It had been a very excrutating week in the media with all the talk of being 36, in the last year of your deal and retirement or moving on. He had been hounded every which way. What was the worst was how the media seemed to know more about his own sitiuation with the Seahawks organization than he did. He got called in just hours before the media annouced that Seattle had traded two players to the Giants for their second string QB. He didn't feel too threatend until they told him he had to fight for his starting job. It was bullshit, he was still a great QB, maybe he didn't have a big arm anymore, but they were just running him off now.

The phone rang through for his home. His son picked it up.

"Hi dad!" Lucius answered happily. "How was your camp thing today?"

"It was good, how are you doing my little man?" Draco smiled. He felt a little at ease just being able to talk small talk.

"I'm ok, I was just a little tired from baseball practice." Lucius said as he sat down on the couch with the phone.

"Did you guys have a game?" Draco asked. He felt like he seemed to miss all of his son's important things, but Lucius never got upset about it. He seemed to keep it together pretty well at ten-years-old.

"No, we just practiced. Our game is on Saturday." The boy said politely while he flipped on the T.V.

"Did the Mariners play today?" Draco asked suddenly remembering his son's big obsession.

"Nah, they got crushed again dad." His son said dejected.

"Oh, I'm sorry." The man appologized simply. He hadn't understood what the alure to baseball was for his son, but ever since he was 7. The young son of Harry and Draco ate slept and dreamed baseball. It was only compounded when the next year Draco threw out the first pitch of opening day. His son was wide eyed as he watched the players take batting practice and hit homeruns. It was secretly Draco's greatest wish that his son not desire to be like his dad. After a few more topics were dicussed including homework and chores. He asked his son to pass him off to Harry.

"Papa, it's Dad, for you." Lucius called from the livingroom.

"Alright I got it son." Harry called from the kitchen where he picked up another phone and listened for his son to click his phone off.

"Bye Dad." Lucius said happily. Both men couldn't help but smile at the over use of happiness in the boy's voice.

"Bye Lu, be good, love you." Draco said. Only saying 'I love you' because Lucius hated that. The phone clicked off. Harry listened as Lucius ran from the room to go play outside.

"Alone at last." Harry sighed. "How are you holding up?"

"Not so good love. I think I'm being pushed out." Draco ran his hand through his hair, which was still long and thick, but had white streaks mixed with the blonde as his body signified his age and just perhaps how much strain he put on his body since he was 16 years old. He still looked good for his age but it was a telling sight when you compared then to now.

He was jealous of Harry, who seemed to have somehow dodged wrinkles of any kind and his hair was still messy and rich in color. His major difference now was that he didn't shave as often. Draco found his beard extremely arousing, while Harry had never really appriciated Draco's beard at all.

The last few months had been trying and Harry had been as supportive as he could be. It was painful to watch Draco try and reconcile the fact that his playing days might be numbered. Harry would just as soon have Draco home, but he knew how much the game meant to him and it had not deminished in the last ten years, despite the fact that all of his friends on the team had retired almost 3 years ago. The more seasons that passed without making a superbowl the more Draco seemed to withdraw and become consumed with the game. He'd even forgotten Lucius' birthday, but Harry had saved him the explanation by covering for him. When it came down to the thin line he was walking, he was scared of what Draco seemed to be turning into.

When they finished their nightly conversation Harry made sure to get Lucius ready for bed. Although this was august, Lucius needed to be on a regulated schedule do to some medical issues. He'd had tumors when he was four, he'd been successfully cured, but he still had to take special medicines and eat special meals sometimes. Draco hadn't been a bad father. He did alot with his son, but as far as raising the boy, that was Harry and uncle Tim. Tim had of course helped his nephew get into baseball and coached his little league team. Tim was a craftsman by trade now thanks to a schooling loan from both Harry and Draco.

Harry tucked in his son and kissed his forhead.

"Ew, papa, I'm ten now." Lucius protested.

"Pfft, what does that mean to me?" Harry rolled his eyes playfully. As he looked at his son, he couldn't help but see the similarites in their looks. However, despite that, Lucius was entirely different in his heart than his dad.

"Nothin'" Lucius smiled sweetly. He did this when he wanted to annoy adults. "Papa?"

"What sweetie?" Harry said smoothing a wrinkle out of the blankets.

"Could we go see Eric tomorrow?" The blue eyes gave a puppy dog look.

"We'll see, ok? Goodnight." Harry said softly getting up from the bed.

"Goodnight papa, sleep good." The boy turned himself to get comfortable and Harry left.

A few hours later Draco came home obviously exhausted. Even though he was in the best shape of his life thanks to the new personal trainer he hired, he still had trouble with exhaustion. Harry sat on the bed in their room. He was watching Draco pace. This wasn't going to be good. He knew it.

"They're just gonna run me out like I am nothing?" Draco snapped into the silence.

"Let's not talk about this now, you'll just get more upset." Harry said in a gentle tone.

"I have to, it's making me insane Harry! You don't understand. I'm not ready yet." Draco said the last words half angry half pleading.

"I Know that, but ranting and raving is just going to make it worse." Harry tried to reason, but he saw his loves eyes it was hopless, the anger, the betrayal the hurt, was all there.

"Well what the fuck am I supposed to do? This is my dream Harry, I just want one more shot and I can be done. Is that so hard?" Draco snapped, not realizing how he was making Harry feel right now.

"No." Harry said in a barely audible voice.

"Think they can run me off like I've never done anything for them." Draco wanted to punch something but he was unable to find a satisfactory target for his rage. "I don't fucking believe this. It's all over now?"

Harry was trying to stop himself, but as it always seemed to happen. Draco moved him to tears. He tried to hide them, but Draco was in a hightened sense of awareness.

"Why are you crying? They aren't killing your career." Draco felt a small pain of guilt, but it didn't stop him, he was really angry and he wanted someone to know it. "Fuck, not everything is about you right now Harry. God, why do you always have to make things so complicated. I have feelings too you know."

"I know that!" Harry shouted in indignation.

"What do you want from me?" Draco wasn't thinking. His heart was swelled with all of his feelings. "Do you want me to just quit, is that it?" He was watching Harry break apart and he wanted to stop himslef, but he didn't know why he couldn't.

"You know I'll never ask you for that!" Harry said through choked tears. He was angry at himself for letting his feelings get in the way like this.

"Then what? What is it?" Draco snapped.

"I want to make you feel the way you do when you play the game. I want to know that I can be your biggest passion. I want to know that when it's all gone, the game and all of it. I want to be enough. I want to know that you think I am good enough to fight for." Harry stopped for a second.

"What in the hell are you talking about Harry?" Draco stood truly confused and looked down at Harry as his husband stared at his own lap.

"Remeber when we almost split up for good? I kept waiting and waiting for you to come fight, bring some of your passion and tell me how much you cared about me. You never did. Don't miss understand, I loved the ring, but, I always wanted to be your passion." Harry looked up into Draco's eyes. "But I'm never going to be there am I?" Harry looked down again.

Draco was shocked into silence. He couldn't believe that Harry had felt this way for years and never said a word. He also cursed himself for not realizing how to tell some of these things better. After all. They'd be celebrating 20 years of eachother soon and Harry had never been the main focus in his life. He'd become just like his father.

"Oh my god, all these years and you never said anything?" Draco looked down at him, confused as to how to approach his next words. "I guess...I don't..." He breathed out in frustration. "I've become just like my father haven't I?" Draco felt a weight on himself as he continued to speak. "I love you." He said finally.

"How do I know that?" Harry asked looking up again. Draco didn't know what to say to him. He'd always been the one to think of the good thing to say.

"I don't know." Draco said honestly after a few moments. "Harry, please, come here." Draco lifted him off the bed and brought him into a hug. He was going to speak again, but Harry spoke instead.

"I can't do this Drake. I can't deal with you like this, I can't stand it. I want to be the one that makes it better for you, but I keep watching you fall apart and I am scared." Harry tightend the hug and rested his head against his husband's chest.

"I'm sorry, please don't cry Harry." Draco stood in the hug. He wanted to scream from the pain he was feeling just under his skin right now, but he'd done enough damage for one night. "Who needs a shave?" Draco said smiling.

"I shaved last month." Harry groaned softly letting himself fall further against Draco. Traumas temporarily forgotten.

End Chapter 58
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A/N: This was basically a set up chapter for everything to come, sorry if it seemed a bit random. Please review and be ready because if this chapter seemed rocky to you chapter 59 Truth be told, will have you hating my imaginary reporters as if they were real.

Again Please review.