Adult-FanFiction.org : Harry Potter

Learning Life Over	By : Meander Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Harry/Draco Views: 69712 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 57
- 58
- 59
Chapter 58- More Confrontations

�� Someone
knocked insistently on the door of his flat. Harry opened one bleary eye and
blinked at nothing in particular. Then he rolled over, as the knocking
continued, and cast Tempus. He�d been up late examining the accounts for
his Gringotts vault, and determining exactly how long the money he�d saved from
Auror work would last him, given the purchase of the Nimbus, the money he spent
on clothes and food and the Floo connection, and the rent he paid on his flat.
He could survive easily for about six more months, but then the Galleons would
grow tight, and he couldn�t afford extravagant purchases. The restlessness from
doing nothing was a worse problem than the lack of money, of course.

�� It was only
six in the morning. Harry blinked in astonishment. The knocking continued.

�� Irritated,
he put aside his blankets and went to the door. If this was Draco, he had
better have a damn good reason for being over here so early.

�� He
probably does, Harry thought as he pulled on his glasses and lengthened his
strides. Maybe he�s injured. Maybe Narcissa is injured. Maybe-

�� And then he
paused, as he realized that the wards would have told him if it were Draco
standing outside his door, and they hadn�t. They didn�t recognize the magic of
the person there.

�� Harry
paused, then drew his wand and conjured a glamour over his pyjamas to make them
look like casual robes before he opened the door. He was confident he was
faster than any enemy who might have tracked him down here, and that he could duck
out of sight if it was a photographer.

�� Snape
glared sullenly at him from the hallway. �Does it always take you this
ridiculous amount of time to answer your door, Potter?� he demanded.

�� Do you
always call at this ridiculous hour, Snape?� Harry leaned his shoulder on the
door, and maintained as strict a control over himself as he could. Snape might
have come to bring bad news about Draco, but Harry didn�t think so. Draco would
have sent almost any messenger rather than him, given how much Harry and his
former Professor hated each other. �What did you want?�

�� Not about
to invite me in and offer me tea?� Snape�s face must have permanently frozen in
its sour expression long ago, Harry thought. �It is six-o�clock in the morning,
after all.�

�� Harry drew
his breath to keep his temper, and said, �No. I reckon you�re well-supplied
with herbal teas of your own, and I don�t fancy stumbling over nasty little
traps in my flat for the next week.� He narrowed his eyes at Snape. �Say what
you came to say, and get it over with.�

�� If you
want Draco to be happy, you�ll stay away from him.�

�� Well, at
least he�s succinct, Harry thought. �Why?�

�� Can you ask,
Potter?� Snape�s glance, like his voice, was long and cold and scornful. �He�s
spent far too much time already on you- time and money and attention. He
neglects his other friends. He�s always in a temper when I talk to him. He had
a calm life, including a reconciliation with his mother, before you intruded.�

�� It really
wasn�t my choice to intrude.�

�� No. That was
unfortunate charity on Draco�s part, which I hope he won�t be inclined to
repeat.� Snape leaned closer to him, though he stayed just beyond the distance
at which a ward could snap out and sting him. �You�re not worthy of him,
Potter. You never were, and you never will be. Draco has a depth and a
greatness of soul you will never discover.�

�� Harry
remained silent.

�� I was his
confidante after the war,� Snape hissed at him, as if Harry had asked. �I know
more about his trials and sufferings than he has yet confessed to you, and I
know how hard he fought to change from the boy he had been to the man he is
now. If you stay with him, you chance undoing all that work.�

�� Why?�

�� Snape
sneered at him. �Do you imagine I will betray Draco�s secrets to you?�

�� Without
you doing that, it�s hard to know why you want me to stay away.� Harry
scratched behind his ear, and stifled a yawn. Snape would take that as an
appearance of weakness, and Harry had been subjected to enough tirades for this
morning. �Draco wants me there with him. He made sure I was in the Manor and
prevented me from leaving. Why should I- �

�� Yet you
stay away from him now,� Snape hissed. �You are ready to walk away from him the
moment he does something your fussy Gryffindor morals don�t approve. Draco
deserves more loyalty than that.�

�� You walked
away from a man who employed the same methods on Muggles and wizards that Draco
did,� Harry said quietly. �Are those morals really fussy or Gryffindor,
Snape?�

�� You have
no right to speak to me of what I have been.� Snape�s hand twitched, but didn�t
quite drift to his left arm.

�� Harry
surveyed him in silence. Really, he had to almost pity the man. Snape was a
brilliant brewer and researcher, courageous, loyal to Dumbledore to the last,
and intelligent enough to survive acting as an agent for both the mad Voldemort
and the suspicious Order of the Phoenix. But he had never got over his old
schoolboy grudges. They could make him hate and mistreat a child of eleven he�d
never seen before, and decide that that child, even seventeen years later and
changed as much as Draco had changed, was still his enemy.

�� Snape�s
biggest problem is that he doesn�t see what�s there with me, but only what he
wants to see. And he seems to think that no one but him has ever suffered, and
no one but him has any right to complain, as if bullying in Hogwarts could
excuse everything.

�� If Draco
wants me to leave,� he said, �he�ll have to tell me himself.�

�� You stay
at a distance from him.�

�� Harry
lifted his chin. �That doesn�t mean our connection is severed, Snape.�

�� If you
care for him, sever it.�

�� No. I
won�t do it just to please you.� Harry started to shut his door.

�� He didn�t
close it before Snape sneered and said softy, �How very like a Potter. You care
about nothing save your own image and your own comfort, forsaking the image and
comfort of those you love.�

��

�� Harry badly
wanted to ask what about his father had made Snape say that, but he knew he
wouldn�t hear the truth, only whatever warped and twisted version of it Snape
had come up with. He ignored it, and finished closing the door.

��

�� Snape
started knocking again. Harry put up a silence spell, and went back to bed.

�� Idiot,
imagining that he could frighten me away. His impression of me really hasn�t
changed since I was a student.

*

�� Mistress
Theresa is here, Master Malfoy.� Trippy was embarrassed, holding her ears as if
she didn�t know what punishment she deserved but would think it up and apply it
to her ears as soon as Draco acknowledged her message.

�� It�s all
right, Trippy,� Draco said. �I didn�t rescind her invitation.� He put his
letter carefully aside, satisfied. Blaise had written to tell him that he�d
found Sarah, and she�d agreed to meet him. Though she was wary and cautious
yet, Blaise had high hopes of breaking through her reserve.

�� It was
boring in the Manor now, without Harry. Draco had other things he could do,
though, and in fact, he�d been planning to go to the Parkinsons� house today
and view Gardenia�s latest prodigy. A discussion with Theresa would be
sufficiently diverting for him to attend to it.

�� Trippy
brought Theresa to the library on his orders, and when Draco came in, she stood
in front of the fireplace, hands extended to the flames. She always seemed to
relish heat. She turned around when she heard Draco�s footsteps, but didn�t
abandon the hearth, simply inclined her head.

�� Won�t you
have a seat?� Draco asked, but Theresa shook her head.

�� I don�t
intend to stay long, Draco,� she said. Draco hadn�t seen her so sorrowful since
the day he burst out to her with an account of what his childhood had really
been like. �I came to see if it was true, and Harry is no longer staying in the
Manor with you.�

�� It�s
true,� Draco said. �We argued, but we haven�t fallen out completely. He�s still
welcome to visit here any time he likes. At the moment, I�m giving him the
space and the freedom he seems to need; he�ll be the one to decide how this
continues.� He relaxed against the wall, though it wasn�t easy with Theresa so
solemn.

�� Theresa
sighed. �I worry for him, on his own and with no friends he has strongly
connected with.�

�� He did
invite friends to a dinner party we had not long ago,� Draco reassured her.
�Neville Longbottom and Dean Thomas, old yearmates of his from Gryffindor at
Hogwarts. I think he�s trying to reestablish connect with them. And he flew in
an exhibition at Hogwarts, in front of hundreds of people. The Daily Prophet
should be full of that shortly, if not already.�

�� I did read
an article about that.� Theresa shifted anxiously from foot to foot. �I simply
wonder whether he is yet ready to end our sessions. He never discussed his
childhood in detail with me.� She gave Draco a piercing look that, he supposed,
hinted she knew something about the Dursleys. �And I wonder how deeply your
quarrel has affected him.�

�� Deeply, or
I wouldn�t be in love with him.� Draco raised an eyebrow at her. �Really,
Theresa, I�m not trying to hide some dangerous and deadly secret from you. I�ll
give you his address if you want, but I think he�s done the majority of his
healing.�

�� It�s not
normal for someone to go from years of emotional isolation to complete
independence,� Theresa reminded him.

�� Draco
laughed. �This is Harry Potter we�re talking about. If his healing was any less
extraordinary than the rest of his life, I�d worry.�

�� Still.�

�� Draco
nodded, and wrote down Harry�s address for her. �I�d wait until a few hours
after this,� he warned her, even as he gave her the parchment. �He�s not
usually in the best mood in the mornings, and he�ll be tired from the
exhibition.�

�� I
remember.� Theresa nodded at him. �I hope that both of you are what the other
needs. Good day, Draco.�

�� Draco sent
Trippy to escort her out, and then wrote a letter, to send off with his
eagle-owl. The few hours he�d advised Theresa to wait should give the bird time
enough to fly to Harry�s flat.

�� He�d
promised himself he�d hold aloof, and not send Harry any more invitations to
the Manor until Harry chose it, but this was no invitation. It merely warned
him Theresa was coming.

�� Draco was
absolutely determined to show Harry that Harry could trust him.

�� And,
hopefully, surrender this stubbornness soon enough, and come back home where he
belongs.

*

�� Harry gave
Theresa a reserved smile when he opened his door to her, and invited her into
the flat, and offered her tea. She was too polite to express dismay at his
home, though Harry could see it in the way her eyes anxiously scanned the walls
and floors as if looking for a clue that he was going mad. Harry sat across
from her, and drank his own tea. He�d received the letter from Draco a few
minutes earlier, and decided instantly what he would tell Theresa.

�� It had
taken him longer to overcome the wonder that Draco had written to him about
this, and to ponder what that meant.

�� I
wondered, Harry,� Theresa said, �if you would like to continue our sessions.
Though your recovery was amazingly rapid, I don�t think it�s complete, and
there are many sections of your life that we never discussed, only your most
immediate problems and pressing griefs.�

�� Harry
smiled at her. �Thank you, but no, I don�t plan to attend sessions with you
again.�

�� Theresa set
her cup down on the arm of her chair and examined him carefully. �You have,
then, a Healer whom you prefer?�

�� Harry
sipped and gave her a blank look. �I�m done with therapy.�

�� But,
surely- �

�� I only
attended sessions with you because I had no choice,� Harry pointed out. �And I
can�t deny that they became important to my health, and that you helped me.
Thank you. But now I have the choice. And I don�t think I�m in any immediate
danger of backsliding, and I�m not lonely and isolated in the same way I was
before. I don�t want to talk to a Healer about my problems.� I want to talk
to Draco, he thought, but Draco should be the first one to hear that.

�� Theresa
studied him in pensive silence. Harry didn�t think what she found in his face
convinced her, but she finished drinking and then rose slowly to her feet. �If
you�re sure- �

�� I am.�
Harry escorted her to the door. �Thank you for coming. I do mean it. You helped
me. I know this started as a favor you owed the Malfoy family, but you did your
best for me beyond that. If you�d like to be paid in return- �

�� Theresa
smiled at last, and patted his arm. �No, thank you.� She hesitated on the
threshold, though. �If you�re sure,� she repeated.

�� I am,�
Harry said, and watched her out of sight down the hallway.

�� Then he
leaned against the door and gave his head a brisk shake.

�� Draco and
Theresa had helped give him his life back. But he deserved the right to live
his life the way he wanted, because it was his. He wouldn�t give up his
hours in slavery to the Ministry. He wouldn�t give them up in slavery to Draco
and Theresa, either. He would only make compromises that he truly wanted
to make. He wouldn�t feel forced to them, because he didn�t have to.

�� And, right
now, he wanted to think a little more, carefully and rationally, about whether
he could trust Draco.

�� He missed
him, that was undeniable. But Harry wanted to make the choice on principles,
and not just the urgings of his imagination and his body. Their argument had
been one of principles, after all.

�� He put up
silencing spells around his door again, warded the window against owls, made
sure the Floo connection was blocked, and sat back to consider.
- 57
- 58
- 59
You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.
Report Story

Learning Life Over