Adult-FanFiction.org : Harry Potter

Amore et Amicitia	By : Kimmimaru Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Sirius/James Views: 6685 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any characters or settings by JK Rowling. I make no profit from this story.

Chapter List
- 57
- 58
- 59
AN: A highly emotionally charged chapter here...I hope everyone's still enjoying, it's a long story, lol. I hadn't planned on taking it so far but I am enjoying writing it. Where will it go? I have no idea...I'm just along for the ride, my muse has full reign. lol. (Thanks as always to Cham who is an avid reviewer, you're awesome! I dub you the Warm Fuzzy Giver!)

Chapter Fifty-Eight: Nunquam Obliviscaris (Never Forget)

“Hold out your arms sir.” The human guard held a Probity Probe and ran it up and down James’ form, once done he nodded and stepped aside. “If you’d just step through those doors where two Dementors will guide you to the correct cell…we’d recommend you produce a patronus, the guards won’t harm you but it’s better to be safe than sorry.”

“Of course.” James muttered and closed his eyes, it was almost too easy to conjure up his happiest memory; the birth of his son. A bright stag erupted from the end of his wand and cantered around him for a second. It stilled and stood before him, facing the dark interior of the prison. The entrance yawned like a mouth, it’s roughly hewn walls doing nothing to conserve heat and James shivered, whether it was from the cold or because of fear he wasn’t sure. He took a breath and stepped into the darkness, the sounds of crashing waves surrounded him, bouncing off of the walls to make it sound as if he were under the ocean. He glanced back into the sunlit guard room as if it was going to be the last time he ever saw daylight before turning back to the task at hand. The Dementors stood silently on either side of the entrance, they turned hooded faces towards him and took deep breaths. For a second James’ stag flickered and he closed his eyes, concentrating as hard as he ever had upon his sons face. At three months old Harry was able to smile; his big, toothless grin would appear at the strangest times such as when he and Lily were talking in the living room about nothing in particular or when one of them entered his room. He was just learning to sit up on his own and could now make playful swipes at his Mobile that dangled over his cot. He was also making a stream of random noises, sometimes James would lie at his side and simply listen to him jabbering away to himself in that sweet baby language. Once he had stabilized his Patronus he nodded to his guards and they slowly began gliding forwards, he followed them reluctantly and as he turned a corner he gazed longingly back over his shoulder before near darkness swallowed him whole.

James had been brought up with the horror stories of Azkaban, his parents had mentioned it in hushed whispers and he had read much about the terrible prison, but nothing had ever prepared him for the reality. The corridors were dimly lit by flickering torches, it was cold enough to freeze the bones and not even James’ cloak could prevent the walls from sucking away his body heat. They followed a tunnel down into the rock, his breath plumed before him in puffs of white steam, his hands went numb yet his stag did not waver again as it marched before him proudly. The cold was nothing, however, when compared to the noise. The pounding of the sea against the rocks surrounding them was a steady drum beat to the screams of insanity coming from the prisoners, he heard mad laughter, someone jabbered randomly as he passed the first cell. He felt a cloying blanket of despair and cold, he shuddered and his stag turned bright silver eyes to gaze at him. He moved on, following the Dementors who guided him, down, down into the very bowls of the prison where the most dangerous prisoners were kept. The cells became ever more frequent, he sometimes caught glimpses of wide, terror filled eyes as he passed them, shadows withdrew from the bars as the bright patronus drew closer and others would reach out to him, attempting to grab his robes as if seeking the tiniest touch from another human being. He sped past these, unwilling to allow so much as the hem of his cloak touch the fingers of these mad men.

Finally, after he had walked what felt like miles, they came to a halt outside a cell. The Dementors glided away from the stag as James drew closer to the bars, the silver light illuminated the scene beyond the rusty steel bars. Two people shared this one room, James spotted Sirius immediately. He sat upon a moldy old pallet bed with his head resting on his knees, his arms were flung over his head as if he was attempting to hide from the affects of the dementors. James felt all his breathe leave him and he dropped to his knees. “S-Sirius…”

Sirius felt the warmth first, it took him a moment to wonder if he was imagining it before he heard a sound…a sound that sent shivers through his numb nerves. Slowly, ever so slowly he lifted his head from his knees, he blinked a few times as he saw a large silver stag stood before the bars of his cage. “Prongs?” He croaked and his eyes widened like saucers, dark grey irises sparkled silver for a moment before Sirius uncurled himself and began crawling forward on his knees. “P-Prongs…? I-Is it…is it really you?” He reached the bars, eyes fixed firmly upon the patronus. It’s light landed on his face, he felt as if he was standing before a large roaring fire and the friendly warmth made his skin tingle as if he had been frozen and was only now thawing. He slowly lifted a hand and reached for those magnificent antlers, but before his fingers could touch the image a voice made his head snap to the side.

“Sirius.” James stared at his best friend, the man he had loved since he was eleven years old. His face was thinner, he had the shadow of a beard on his chin and his hair was lank as it fell over his shoulders. But it was his eyes that disturbed James the most, they were dark and haunted already. It looked as if they had retreated into his skull, dark shadows hung beneath them and his skin was waxy pale. “Oh Merlin…Sirius…” James wrapped both hands around the bars and watched Sirius’ eyes run over his face, his mouth opened and closed as if he was struggling with something before a desperate sob escaped his lips.

“James.” He said in a cracked voice, he pushed his hand through the bars and wrapped his fingers into James’ messy hair. It hurt but James held still and allowed him to run those frozen fingers over his face slowly, his thumb caressed his cheek bone and tears fell down Sirius’ face. “Oh…Oh fuck…J-Jamie…Y-You’re…i-it’s real?” He rasped, his voice choking him.

“I’m real, Sirius…I promise.” James replied, wrapping his fingers around Sirius’ hand and placing it above his heart. “I’m as real as you are.”

Sirius felt that heart beat beneath a familiar chest, his own heart ached painfully in his rib cage and he gritted his teeth as he was swamped in intense emotion. “How long?” Sirius gasped, his hand turning into a fist in James’ robes and dragging his face closer. “How long has it been?”

“Three months.”

Sirius’ eyes widened, something stirred behind them that made James’ heart go cold. “O-Only…Three? Oh fucking hell…James, it feels like years…” James didn’t know what to say to that so he simply gazed into Sirius’ haunted eyes and tried to find the man he had fallen in love with, Sirius released him reluctantly as if suddenly aware that he might have been hurting him. In a nervous, loving motion he smoothed down James’ robes, pressing his forehead to the bars. “The stories don’t prepare you for it, Jamie. W-When they throw you in here…you feel like…like you’ve died…I-It’s hell…I…I’m not gunna survive…” He ended the sentence in a soft whisper and closed his eyes tightly, James was selfishly grateful he had covered those eyes. They were the eyes of a shattered man. Simply two nearly empty holes and he was worried if he looked into them for much longer he would drown in Sirius’ sorrow and despair. “It’s…it’s so cold here, James. You wouldn’t believe…It’s dark too. At night…at night it feels like there’s nothing. Nothing but the screams…I-I can’t…I can’t keep holding on…I’ll end up like them…” Sirius opened his eyes again, opening those pits of molten silver. His hand tightened again on James’ robes until the fabric tore. “I’ll end up like him.” He jerked his head in the direction of the second shadow, James followed the direction and realised the man hadn’t moved since he had first got there.

“Is he…is he dead?” James asked in a whisper, Sirius tipped his head to the side and looked over his shoulder at the man.

“He was breathing a moment ago but who knows? He’s going to die either way…the quiet ones always do and in here…eventually they all go quiet…” Sirius looked up at him. “I’ll go quiet too one day, Jamie…one day they’ll come to get my corpse and I’ll be buried in an unmarked grave out there in the plot…No one will mourn me…who would care? No one. No one cares about me…they never have done…” His eyes flicked back to the man in the corner. “Reckon he’s gone.” He breathed and shuddered violently, abruptly he covered his head with his hands and began rocking back and forth slightly. His brow was creased into a deep frown as he began muttering to himself. “No…No mother…not here…not now! Please…please leave me alone!”

James felt rather than saw the dementors shift just outside the light of his protective patronus, something had them excited. Their breaths seemed suddenly, horribly loud and he realised with dread that the whole prison was utterly silent. “Sirius…Sirius snap out of it!” James reached through the bars and grabbed Sirius’ pale grey robes, he shook him sharply and watched his eyes fly open to reveal two pools of utter blackness. “Siri? Padfoot?”

Sirius’ lips moved and he shuddered before squeezing his eyes shut and reopening them, James relaxed his grip and sighed with relief. “They always get excited when one dies. Look at them…” Sirius watched the dementors and sighed heavily, he pressed his head against the bars, gripping them tightly in both hands. “Only three months…I’ve got the rest of my life in here…Jamie…please help me. Please, I’m begging you, get me out of here! Even if it’s in a coffin…g-give me a knife…A-anything…I can’t do it. I can’t live like this. I-I can hear them…in my head. Mother…Father…Regulus…oh fuck…Reg…! P-Peter too…he…he stares at me, he tells me it’s my fault he died…a-and it is…oh Jamie, it is. I killed him. I took his life a-and I…and I enjoyed it…” He let out a heart-wrenching sob and James grabbed both his wrists in his hands.

“I’ll get you out of here, Padfoot. I promised you I would and I will keep it. Just…just hold on for a little longer…Dumbledore’s doing everything he can. I solemnly swear, Padfoot old friend.” James wrapped his fingers with Sirius’ who slowly raised his tear stained face and gazed at him through his fringe.

“Solemnly…swear…?” Sirius muttered and briefly, like a flash of bright, searing lightening a grin surfaced. It was gone in a second but James felt an upsurge of relief. Sirius was in there somewhere, deeply buried but he was still there. There was hope.

“Yeah, remember? We’re the Marauders, you, me and Remus…together. We’ll be together forever, no matter what.”

“No…matter…what?” The light in Sirius’ eyes was fading slowly, dimming like a candle slowly running out of air.

“Yes. No matter what.” James said firmly as he watched Sirius’ eyes drift to the unmoving figure by the wall.

“They all go quiet in the end, Jamie. All quiet…the end. So easy…like falling asleep…” He blinked slowly and turned his head back to James. He licked his lips and leaned forward so their faces were inches apart. “Sometimes James, sometimes I’m just so fucking tired…” his eyes dropped and he leaned heavily against the bars as they closed. “So, so tired, Jamie…will you stay? Will you…will you stay ‘till I fall asleep?”

James felt his heart break in his chest, his patronus flickered again but he couldn’t see it. He only had eyes for his lover. “I’ll stay…I promise. You’re safe, Sirius. I won’t…I won’t let anyone hurt you!”

Sirius smiled weakly, his eyes remaining closed and his fingers clutching James’ tightly. “You’re so warm, Jamie…like the sun…bright and warm and life giving…I love you…”

James sat before the bars as Sirius fell into a deep sleep, he barely even noticed the fact that his patronus had disappeared or even the fact that tears fell from his eyes to splash into Sirius’ hair. “I love you too, Sirius Black.” He breathed through numb lips. The Dementors kept their distance, for some reason they couldn’t bear to be near the pair of them, it seemed as though James was holding them back purely through the power of his love for his best friend.

XXX

James walked down the dark street, the gaudy decorations of Halloween decorated the muggle dwellings. He walked past pumpkins and cobwebbed windows, he pulled his hood lower over his face reveling in the fact that he could be himself in the muggle world, if only for a single night. He reached his street and moved automatically towards his house, he paused as he saw a crowd of people at his front gate. “What on earth…?” He frowned and began moving closer, the people were muggle’s and by standers, he searched the curious faces unsure what had happened and feeling a creeping dread stealing through his body and turning him numb. “Excuse me, sir, what’s happening?” He asked the first man he saw, an elderly gentleman with white hair and beard. The man gave him a cursory glance, obviously assuming he had been at some Halloween party.

“Heard screams, I did. This house has been unoccupied for years, boy. Never in my life have I heard such screams, terrified they sounded…then there was a big ‘splosion like the world was fallin’ down. I saw green fire and rushed out my house to investigate…was awful, paramedics found the baby still in it’s crib-”

James didn’t wait to hear the rest, his legs took on a life of their own and he ran for the house. The gate was flung open as he pushed past people and ran up the path. “LILY!” He screamed, his voice breaking. “LILY! HARRY!” He ran into the house and gasped as he looked around, men in uniform were standing around gazing at him as if he had gone mad.

“Sir…Sir, you can’t come in here…”

“Where is she?! Where’s my wife?!” James’ terror made his voice louder than he had intended but he couldn’t stop, the man’s face paled and he glanced up the stairs. James turned, his cloak swirling around his feet, the man’s hand missed him by inches.

“Sir, I wouldn’t recommend that you-” James ignored him.

James flew up the stairs, his heart hammering in his chest as he ran down the corridor and into his son’s room. He flung the door open, barely glancing at the uniformed Muggle’s. His eyes searched the room and he found her. “No…N-No…No…” She lay on the carpet, gorgeous red hair falling over her face and hiding those beautiful eyes. James’ world swam dangerously and he fell into the wall, his eyes huge in his white face. “L-Lily…” He gasped and fell to his knees, Muggle’s tried to stop him but he shrugged them away as he crawled forwards and knelt at her side. He reached out and gently touched her cheek, still warm. Grief nearly made him sick and his head swam as he pulled her heavy corpse into his arms and held her to his chest, he began rocking back and forth with her as if he could bring her back just by drawing her as close as possible. Suddenly he tipped his head back and screamed, his voice shattering the silence like a siren. His throat was raw but still he screamed, until finally he gave in and bent over her body. Tears fell into her red hair to sit like tiny crystals as his body shook with the sheer power of his grief. “’M so sorry…L-Lily…” He choked and squeezed his eyes shut tightly.

XXX

Remus was the first Wizard to reach the scene; he carried a bag with a gift inside for baby Harry. He hummed to himself as he walked, he wanted to see Harry but mostly he was going to make sure Lily was alright. He walked through the village square and down the street towards the Potters’ home, he spotted flashing lights. Muggle’s stood around gossiping and blocking the way, he felt cold creep into his heart as he moved through the crowd. He stopped by a woman clutching a child’s hand. “Excuse me, can you tell me what’s happening?” He asked nervously.

The woman glanced at him briefly, noting his worn old robes before returning her eyes to the ambulance. “They’re saying there’s been a murder, no one knows who as that house has been empty for years now…one of the neighbors heard a woman’s screams and green fire…”

Remus didn’t hang around to hear the rest, he broke into a run, pushing his way violently through the crowds until he found himself at the front. His eyes turned to the house and he saw that half the wall had been blown away, thatch and stone had crumbled into the small garden and he felt his heart stop within his chest. As he watched several paramedics wheeled a black covered stretcher out into the street, people began muttering to themselves as it was followed by a man struggling violently in the arms of several police officers. “GET OFF OF ME! UNHAND ME YOU FOOLS! That’s my fucking wife! My wife I tell you! LET ME GO!”

Remus felt sick. His hands clenched convulsively upon the bag, he gasped in a sharp breath before ducking beneath the police barrier and running for James. When he reached his side he dropped the bag and grabbed him, he held him tightly as James struggled against him, slowly his struggles weakened and he fell against his chest. “S-She’s g-gone…R-Remus…”
- 57
- 58
- 59
You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.
Report Story

Amore et Amicitia