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The Long Road	By : SinisterMe Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Snape/Remus Views: 63598 -:- Recommendations : 3 -:- Currently Reading : 18
Disclaimer: This is a work of fan fiction using characters from the Harry Potter world, which is trademarked by J. K. Rowling. This story is purely for entertainment purposes, no money is being made from it.

Chapter List
- 57
- 58
- 59
“Christ,” Potter said, straightening his glasses, his face the mirror of disbelief.
“What were those marks on his arms?” Remus inquired. There were a thousand questions vying to be asked, but the scabs on the child’s arms bothered him quite a lot - the boy looked like some kind of muggle junkie.
“Further investigation will be needed, but I believe his blood was being drawn for some purpose. I brushed minds with him – his memory has unquestionably been tampered with. He has no clear recollections before he was taken into the WIBNA Pediatric Lycanthropy Ward. He was held there for quite some time before being moved to Lanning’s basement.” He pinched the bridge of his nose, feeling like he might still vomit, and he would be absolutely damned if he would let a Potter see him in such a weakened state. “If you will make my excuses to Teddy, I will likely have to see him tomorrow. I may need some time to myself.”
Severus wished that he could be less obvious about what was going on, but he turned and walked in the direction of his room without another word. His shields were bursting at the seams after such a candid talk about things that had happened to him, he knew that in order to protect his mind as a whole, he would have to let off some steam and soon. He was too feeble to support the second wall he’d attempted to erect and the first was failing, no matter the resources he tried to throw at it.
“Go make sure that Draco doesn’t need anything,” Remus told Harry, “help him if you can, don’t pester him if you can’t. I need you to make sure that Teddy is seen to, possibly overnight.” He gave Harry a long look and hoped that the volumes he wanted to speak were somehow visible there.
Harry nodded, though his face said he was a little unsure about what was happening. “No Problem, Remus. I’ll make sure Teddy’s taken care of and double check that Draco eats, and to put your mind even further at ease, I’m not touching more than the floor in Snape’s lab.”
“That is probably wise. …’Draco’, is it now?” Remus couldn’t help but ask.
“It’s his name, isn’t it?” Harry said defensively.
“I suppose it is. Really Harry, I’m glad that you’re getting along.”
Harry shrugged and smiled. “Me too.” He ran a hand through his hair. “So, holy shit.”
Remus nodded, allowing the change in topic. “It’s a lot to take in.”
“That is a huge understatement. That poor kid – he doesn’t remember anything but that damned basement. I can’t believe… Snape was - really good with him.”
“He always seems to know what to say,” Remus said. “I wish I had half as much confidence in myself when it comes to being there for him.”
“Borrow some of mine then, because I have loads of confidence in you. If anyone can help him, it’s you. We’ll run damage control on potions and Teddy. Fred is watching Daniel. If you need anything, come find me, I think I’ve been delegated to babysitting for the moment,” Harry smiled.
“I’m sorry-” Remus started.
“Don’t be!” Harry interrupted. “I wanted to spend more time with my godson and that is exactly what I am getting to do. I couldn’t be happier about it, really. More letters have been rolling in, some smaller newspapers wanting more information. I can reply to those too, though of course I won’t send them without Draco’s approval.” Harry rolled his eyes. “I’d better go see if he needs help, and then I’m off to keep Teddy company.”
“Thank you, Harry,” Remus said.
Potter just flashed him a smile and was on down the hallway.
Remus turned and went the opposite direction. He found the door to their room closed. When he opened it and walked across the threshold, he passed through the glowing gossamer curtain of some type of ward. It let him pass, so he continued, though more warily, closing the door softly behind himself. The room was dark, all the curtains were drawn. Other than that, the only discernable difference to him was that the closet doors were hanging wide open, its contents strewn about the room.
At first, he didn’t see Severus anywhere. Taking a few cautious steps into the room, he eventually saw the crown of dark hair rising over the far side of the bed. Snape didn’t acknowledge him, though Remus was certain he’d made enough noise entering the room that the other man must have noticed him.
He took a few steps nearer, finding Severus sitting on the floor, legs crossed with his Pensieve beside him and a recently opened bottle of Scotch cradled in his lap. Remus stood there, almost holding his breath, and watched his master lift the bottle and take a long drink straight from its neck. He had the distinct impression that it wasn’t the first such intake since Snape’s arrival in the room.
“Severus?” he asked.
“I was going to wait,” he informed Remus in answer. “I was going to recover a bit and then do it, but there isn’t time.” He took another drink, longer even than the last.
Remus moved forward again, almost directly beside him now. He sat down and leaned in, trying to see Severus’ face. “Why isn’t there time?” he asked. He wanted to know for what, but that would hopefully come later.
“We can’t lose momentum,” Severus continued. “The next few weeks are pivotal. While everything is still fresh, we have to move, or we will lose all of the ground we have gained. There isn’t time for me to convalesce. I need to be writing letters to key people in the Ministry, the Wizengamot and the press. Darien has been searching for others with grievances against WIBNA, and if we can get the ball rolling, they may be willing to join the fight. I need to speak with the reporters.” He took another drink. “So, there just isn’t time.”
“Time for what?” Remus asked gently.
“I have to start dismantling my shields.” He drank again. “I can hardly even speak to a small boy about what happened without having memories and emotions pouring over the top of them. There’s too much pressure in here,” he made a sloppy gesture near his temple, “and I need to relieve it if I am going to be any use to our cause.”
“Don’t push yourself into anything you aren’t ready for,” Remus told him, shifting so that he would be more comfortable on the floor. “How have you done it in the past?”
“In the past it was not an issue, because I was not required to speak of what I endured at any length. It is very difficult to keep all of the associated emotions, recollections and sensations at bay when you have to think and talk about them at the same time. Devoting that much of your mind to something you are mostly trying to shield your mind from can be almost debilitating.”
“You had to report to Albus though, so surely you had to talk of it,” Remus was struggling to understand, wondering if he was getting too caught up in the details.
“I gave a report every time I returned, yes,” Severus answered, the bottle finding its way to his lips again. “However, I didn’t speak of the things I physically endured, only the useful facts. The Headmaster only needed the pertinent information. This is completely different, because I am going to be speaking directly about what happened - to me.”
“He didn’t…” Remus faltered. “He didn’t want to know what they did to you when you displeased Riddle?”
“It wasn’t important, irrelevant data could muddy the information. If he wanted to know everything to scour it for further details, I put the memory in his Pensieve or allowed him to look into my thoughts.” His gaze travelled to the stone bowl. “When it was returned to my mind or he was finished looking, it all went back behind the shield.”
“I-” Remus stopped. Damn Albus for failing to take care of his tools, the daft people who considered him their friend. “What happened to you is important to me,” Remus told him, leaning in further and catching his dark eyes. “I care what you went through, Severus, and not just because you enduring it spared my son.”
Snape shook his head. “No,” was all he said.
“No?” Remus asked, perplexed.
“There is no room for this sentiment,” he clarified, taking another unbelievable drink from the bottle. Remus fought the urge to snatch it from his hand. “I have no choice but to lower a section of my shields.” Snape’s wand came up to his head and made a jerky movement near the side of his ear. He slid the Pensieve away from himself and moved a basin from under the bed that Remus hadn’t known was there. He held the bucket in front of him and leaned over slightly. His shoulders were shaking, and his hands were clenched into fists. “I think you should go now.” It never took very long before this completely overwhelmed him.
“What?” Remus asked, dumbfounded. “Now?”
“It can’t wait, I’ve removed part of my Occlumency shields.” His words sounded choked even to his own ears. The scent of his own coppery blood was filling his nostrils, the feeling of fear was beginning to engulf him. There might be a short time before he vomited, so he took another slug from the bottle. He could have waited, at least allowed himself the time to get properly soused before doing this, but he feared that he’d lose his nerve. Just one night of misery and hopefully he could be more useful tomorrow. He couldn’t even work up the courage to read the newspapers that had accumulated in his absence for merlin’s sake.
“This exact moment? Are you sure that’s a good idea? You’ve only just arrived home,” Remus’ brow was furrowed, his hand held out and hovering, as if he wanted to set it on Severus’ person but was too afraid.
“Needs must when the devil drives,” Snape said, curling into himself further, an action which placed his head halfway in the basin he was holding. “Really Remus, please, I need you to leave.” He could feel his shirt beginning to stick to his torso. Sweat was starting to trickle down the back of his neck. The tremors were extending throughout his entire body, even the mallets of his fists were quaking where they were clenched. The sound of his own agonized screaming filled his ears, though here he sat, silent. He heard the pathetic, garbled sounds of himself begging for mercy without a tongue, felt the explosion in his cheek when the taut flesh finally gave way for the separating petals of the pear and saw the unattached stump of his leg being waved in front of his face all in a rush. There was only a split second before he was hurling into the bucket.
“What can I do?” Remus was pleading with him. “How can I help?”
“Get out of here!” Severus snarled when he could respond again. “That is how you can bloody well help!” The viciousness lost most of its bite as he vomited again, this time struggling to breathe through body wrenching sobs. He was overheating. Hell would be cooler than this. He wrestled with the buttons of his shirt. How was it that he forgot how fucking awful this was every time he went to do it? His guts heaved again, acid composed his insides. Albus knew what this entailed, but at least he was never quite so sadistically voyeuristic as to stay and watch.
Cool hands relieved him of the stress of buttons. He found his shirt opened for him in seconds, the cold air feeling like a blessing upon his skin. He was vaguely aware that he was crying, wailing, making sounds like a wounded animal, or was that just the memories, coming alive and merging with reality? His insides let loose again, and this time, when he was done, he pushed the bucket away and sprawled to the side. “Bugger,” he cursed as he tried to wiggle completely out of his shirt. Remus’ hands returned and helped him from the garment. When it was stripped from him, he keeled all of the way over and pressed his torso against the cool floor, groaning at the momentary relief it brought him.
Dimly, he became aware of someone speaking to him. It twisted through his memories of cruel laughter and wave after wave of agony, through what he recalled about death, over and over again. It told him that he wasn’t alone, that all of this was already over, that he was home, in his room and would be alright. The mere timbre and cadence of Remus’ voice felt like the very center of his heart, how could he not trust it? He wretched again and curled further in on himself. Sweet Christ, watching him snot and snivel like this - he had to make him leave, how could Remus still respect him upon seeing him here, as shamefully weak as he was? A hand was rubbing softly between his shoulder blades and it felt as if it were the thin veil between the present and the remembered. He loved it for being there but resented Remus for seeing him like this in near equal measures.
“Get. Out.” He spat from between his clenched teeth in a moment of excruciating lucidity. His next words came out as an enraged snarl. “That is a goddamned order, Lupin!”
Remus went to stand with a shudder, to exit the room, when he’d heard his surname he half wanted to run just based on that alone. The tone of voice used made the bottom drop out of his stomach. How could he argue with those words, spoken like that? He had to try. He thought about it for a moment tried to sit back down, only to find that he could. He braced himself and asked his body to stay still. He’d felt the pull of a direct, intended order before and hadn’t been able to withstand it, no matter the force he exerted. Hearing Severus speak to him like that was all of his previous fears brought to life, but he clenched his teeth and forced himself to stay, because Severus needed him and didn’t want him to go. If he truly did, there would have been no fighting it - but other than his fear at disobeying, it took no effort to remain where he was.
“I said, get the fuck out!” Severus said with a voice raised more loudly than Remus had heard it since his arrival.
Lupin felt like he was tempting fate by not moving, but if it had been a true command, he would have been in the hallway by now, with or without his own consent. “You don’t mean that, darlin’,” he said quietly. “I’ll be here until you do.” He hoped that he was doing the right thing. His entire being fought against this rebellion, but he stayed put.
Severus took a shuddering breath and curled in on himself even further. He was being drawn deeper and deeper into his recollections. Reality was slowly melting away as he was overtaken by the past. He reached up, clawing at his face to just try to do something about it, but he felt his is wrists encircled and pulled away. His eyes were closed but there was no end to the onslaught of vile visions playing themselves out in his head. Coupled with the completely overwhelming terror that accompanied them, he feared that he was screaming all over again as he relived atrocity after atrocity. He was distantly aware of vomiting again as he felt the walls of that infernal box closing hotly around him, he could smell his own charred flesh to the point of tasting it even over the bile. How long this went on, he couldn’t be sure, but it felt like the better part of eternity.
When he finally gained control of himself again, wrenching back command of is faculties and corralling everything back behind his shields, he found himself prone on the floor, reeking of alcohol and vomit, soaked in sweat and feeling like the blasting end of a skrewt. He was surprised to find Remus still there with him, laying on his side also, bracketing Severus’ body from a distance like a loose parenthesis. The only point of contact was Lupin’s hand on his back, moving back and forth between his shoulder blades like a soothing, tactile metronome.
He groaned and wiped at the rancid crust at the corner of his lips, moving his hair out of his face only to discover that he had been sick in it. He felt shaky and weak as a newborn foal. Somehow in his delirium, he had managed to decide it was enough. The parts he hadn’t brought out and merged with his own consciousness he hedged back behind his shields until there was again a semblance of stillness in his mind. The prevailing emotions were despair and humiliation, and he was in a feeble enough state that as he rolled onto his back, tears again spilled from his eyes. He dashed them away angrily, hating himself.
Remus reached out and touched his arm, rolling so that he was leaning over Severus while remaining propped up on one bent elbow. He leaned over even further so that he was able to press his lips to the side of his master’s cheek briefly. He moved back to rest his head on his hand again, looking at Severus as if trying to figure him out by osmosis.
“I wish you hadn’t seen that,” Severus said without thinking. His voice was cracked and raspy, proof that he’d likely not only remembered the awful sounds he’d made before, but had created entirely fresh one’s for Remus to tolerate. He wished that the floor would swallow him whole. Why was Lupin still here? Anyone else would have left him to it, if only to avoid the awkward moment where he returned to himself.
“I wish you hadn’t gone through it,” Remus answered.
“I ordered you to leave.”
“You didn’t mean it,” Remus said as if in assurance. He reached over and brushed a damp lock of hair from Severus’ forehead and prayed that he was right. His heart wanted to say so many more things, but he bit his tongue to stop it, as Severus likely wouldn’t take well to them at the best of times, never mind at this particular moment. “Can I get you off of this floor?”
“I’ll get up in a moment,” Severus said curtly. He knew that he wouldn’t want to move for much longer than that, but he could make further excuses later.
“Alright,” Remus agreed. He stood and banished the sick up from the floor, picking up the bucket and taking it into the ensuite with him. He could tell that Severus was devoid of energy just by looking at him, so while he was in there, he set the tub to run. It might be a bit of a waste of water, as he planned to dunk Severus in there, get him freshened up and then try to get him bundled back in bed. His bones ached with exhaustion, but if he had to spend one or two more sleepless nights making certain that Severus would be able to rest, then he wouldn’t complain. Watching Severus absorb those memories he’d freed from behind his shields had been a revelation of the worst kind and enduring a few more days awake would be a small thing in comparison.
He went back into the other room only to find that Severus hadn’t moved, other than to bring his arms up to his face. The heels of his hands were digging into the hollows of his eyes, and the pose made Remus’ heart pulse with sympathy. He went over to his side. “Do you think you can stand up?” he asked gently, kneeling beside him.
Snape made a noncommittal sound and ground his hands into his eyes with further vigor.
“I’ll help you,” Remus told him more than offered.
“I…” Severus started. It was the very last thing he wanted, Remus’ eyes on him at this very moment, never mind his hands. There would be no way the other man would miss the rank smell of him with his heightened senses either. However, he was completely wrung out and didn’t think he would be getting off the floor on his own any time this century.
It didn’t sound like a ‘no’ to Remus, so he leaned down and wrapped his arms around his master’s torso and stood slowly, lifting with his knees. When his legs were fully extended, he held them there for a moment while Severus got his bearings. Even then he did most of the heavy lifting on the way to the ensuite, where the water was slowly pooling in the basin of the bath.
Severus felt himself shivering again by the time Remus hoisted him up over the side of the tub. The water was warm and Remus’ hands were gentle, so he let himself float through it all. The pressure in his mind had eased enough that he could think again, and though he felt physically, mentally and emotionally devastated, he reminded himself that it was worth it. He would need a short rest and then he would be able to carry on. The memories that were allowed to fully integrate themselves into his mind were atrocious, and had him feeling subhuman and a little insane, but there was no time for any of that, no time for wallowing or self-pity. Draco would be consumed by the modified Wolfsbane potion for the next few days, so it was up to him to devote his focus to the blood samples.
He felt himself being lifted from the water and spelled dry by magic. Feeling like his body was driving itself, he helped Remus get him into his nightclothes and over to the side of the bed. He had no idea what time it was, how long he’d lay on the floor, lost in his mind. He thought about moving one or two of the most troubling memories over to the Pensieve for the night, but it seemed like far too much effort and for the moment at least, he was feeling nothing but hollow.
“We should eat something before we tuck in,” Remus said.
Severus sat on the bed, throwing his legs up onto the mattress with a heavy sigh. The thought of food made his insides twist further. “Not hungry,” he said, climbing the rest of the way under the covers and laying his spinning head on the pillow.
“We did have a late lunch,” Lupin allowed, “but there will be no skipping breakfast then.”
“I thought I was supposed to be in charge around here,” Severus snapped tiredly, “but obviously I was mistaken.” The words didn’t come out with the humorous lilt they usually did. He climbed under the covers and leaned against the headboard. His head was still swimming, he was teeming with emotions and yet somehow completely void of everything. The memories he had allowed free ricocheted around his brain and he felt like he might be ill again at the recollections of hands and teeth and unending pain that assaulted him. He reached for the bottle on the nightstand and drank from it until his eyes were watering, hoping to achieve some stillness in his brain and shake this all-encompassing sense of worthlessness that was taking hold of him.
“…I’m sorry, sir,” Remus sounded as if his heart was breaking. Watching Severus’ reaction now that he was feeling more himself, Remus began to doubt every choice he had made since coming into the bedroom. He’d been referred to by his surname, for god’s sake. How had he not taken the hint and left? The last thing he needed was Severus’ frustration or resentment, it would make it impossible for him to help the man.
Snape winced and glanced over at Remus, who had been getting ready to retire as well, only to find him frozen and hovering at the side of the bed, his expression uncertain. Something inside of him softened, and he felt a flare of guilt for his behavior. He reached over and pulled back the blankets as an invitation. “I’m not angry with you, Remus. Please, come to bed,” he said softly.
Remus sat on the edge of the mattress, rubbing roughly at his face before climbing the rest of the way in and pulling the blankets up to his chin. He lay on his back and blinked up at the ceiling with eyes weighed down by exhaustion. He turned to look at Severus when he felt the other man’s fingers lightly skim his arm.
“I shouldn’t have raised my voice like that,” Snape’s words filled the space between them, laced with regret, “and you don’t deserve to be cursed at. I was wrong to do it, and I apologize.” He paused for a moment, trying to organize his thoughts. “Please Remus, don’t go back to calling me ‘sir’,” he entreated quietly. He didn’t think he would be able to handle it if Remus withdrew like that, and the very fact of that added another layer of nausea and trepidation over his already ruined nerves.
“I won’t, Severus,” Remus answered, “I was just unsure of myself for a moment.”
“You needn’t be,” Severus told him seriously, “not with me.” His fingers ghosted along Remus’ skin as if he were afraid to actually let them rest there in any permanent way.
Remus’ hand found Severus’ arm, and when that was well received, he moved it across his chest to rest over his heart again, as had been done in front of the mirror. He was at a loss for words, but hoped that the gesture conveyed a shred of what he wanted to impart. Severus shuffled around so that his arm was under Remus’ pillow, curling under his shoulder and holding him close, and Lupin couldn’t resist pressing his lips lightly to the nearest available skin.
They lay there for a few moments, and Remus felt his eyes get heavier and heavier. No matter how he tried, he couldn’t keep them open, not with the warmth of his master surrounding him and holding him close. He let them drift shut, just for a minute…

…And opened them again only to find himself alone in the bed, the place where Severus had previously been was now cold. He peered around the room, moving as little as possible to see if he was alone – if not he wanted the chance to observe unseen for a time.
There was light from a small fire across the room and more from some twinkling candles on the table by the window. He saw Severus sitting there, his face turned down to a long ream of parchment as he scribbled madly on another parchment beside it all. The blasted bottle of scotch sat at his side, only a small amount of amber liquid remained. There was a rolled-up stack of parchments sitting to the side of the table that looked like they were ready to be sent out with an owl. Remus wondered what time it was and how long Severus had been out of bed while he lay there sleeping on in ignorance.
He watched quietly for a moment. Severus barely looked over at what he was writing, he was so focused on the script in front of him, but his hand was moving wildly, dipping into the pot of ink purely by muscle memory. He paused every few moments to set the quill aside and rub at his writing hand as if it were cramping, but it never lasted for long before he took it back up and continued his inky scrawling across the paper’s surface.
Just as he was about to open his mouth to ask Severus if he were coming back to bed or if he should just get up, the sound of a creaky floorboard was heard from the hallway just outside the door, loud in the otherwise still room. Snape must have heard it too because he paused in his frantic motions, hand hovering over the page as he listened. There was a moment of silence before the sound came again. The pattern of silence and squeaking came a third time, as if someone was shifting their weight back and forth over a loose floorboard in the hall.
Severus set the quill aside and stood, limping heavily as he took the first step on his bad leg and then regaining his composure as he walked to the door and opened it.
“What are you doing up, Teddy?” Severus’ voice came calmly from the doorway as he ushered the young man from the chilly hallway into the warmer bedroom. Teddy appeared unusually standoffish, edging around Snape’s outstretched hand with a wary look in his eyes.
“Sir!” Teddy exclaimed, obviously aware of the hour as he tried to keep his voice down. “I- I just wanted to check… to see if, or how, I mean…” Teddy struggled with his language longer than Remus had heard since their arrival here.
Severus immediately sensed his discomfort and took a discrete step back to give the boy more space. “Is everything alright?”
The boy struggled with more obvious anxiety. “That’s what I was coming to see! Harry said I should stay out of your way, but I was using the loo earlier and I heard… I heard…” Teddy’s face was becoming red and splotchy, his small frame was shaking slightly.
“You heard me yelling at your father,” Severus filled in for him. He mentally cursed at himself, his Silencing Spell must have failed when his shields dropped.
Teddy nodded, fiddling with his dragon’s ear and not making eye contact.
Severus’ shoulders slumped. He retrieved his teacup from where he had been previously sitting (Remus presumed it was full of straight liquor) and moved to take a seat at one of the armchairs by the fire. He indicated that Teddy was free to join him but made no other motion to make the boy go where he wanted. Teddy followed anyway, a few steps behind. He was rubbing at his eyes tiredly when Snape turned to sit in the chair, his tawny hair askew and his bottom lip wobbling only a little.
“Why were you so mad at him sir?” Teddy asked from a safe distance away. The fact that he wasn’t coming any closer made something in Snape’s chest ache.
Remus was starting to feel guilty for eavesdropping, but he was curious how this would turn out.
“I wasn’t mad at him,” Severus said, knowing that he wouldn’t be able to lie to this boy, “I was angry with myself, and I took that anger out on him. I shouldn’t have done it and I have already apologized.” He wasn’t sure what else to do with this situation except to turn it into a teachable moment. “We should always try to apologize when we have hurt someone’s feelings.”
Teddy nodded and took a step forward. “Why were you mad at yourself?” Teddy enquired, obviously struggling to understand.
“I was doing something very unpleasant, and I was... in pain and not at my best. I was embarrassed to have your father see me that way. I reacted poorly to the situation,” Severus told him, taking a drink from his cup.
“You were hurt and you didn’t want him to be with you?” Teddy asked, moving another step nearer. “Why not?”
How to answer that? “I am unused to having anyone try to be there for me like that and it made me very uncomfortable.”
Teddy came closer still. “Really? I wasn’t used to it either, sir, not at first,” he told Snape, “but when you’re with me, I always feel better.”
“I’m glad to hear it,” Snape murmured. This child’s honesty flayed him open more than a bit.
“So …both of you are okay?” Teddy asked, clearly needing more assurance.
“We are. Remember what I told you, that we should always do our best to be kind to the ones we love? I may, from time to time, raise my voice – but I will never raise my wand or my hand in anger, not to your father and not to you,” Severus wanted to continue to make this crystal clear – the idea that Teddy would be frightened of him made a cold pit appear in his insides.
Teddy was now at the side of the chair. Remus was quite thankful for his improved hearing and vision as the rest of this conversation unfolded. The boy put his hand on Severus’ arm and asked, “Does that mean that you love him too, sir?”
From where Remus was discreetly watching, he saw an expression of fear flash across Severus’ face at his son’s brazen question. It was gone almost as soon as it appeared, but Lupin was sure he hadn’t imagined it. He held his breath and waited to hear what kind of answer Severus would give to his son, suddenly wishing he hadn’t woken up so quickly.
“I…” Severus began and ended with the same word, his mouth feeling dry. Still, he had resolved to be truthful with this boy as often as he was able. “You are a very intelligent young man,” Severus told him, smiling softly and ignoring the way the scarred side of his face felt unusually tight as he did. “Yes,” he said, “I love your father too. However, I would like for that fact to remain between the two of us for now, do you think you can do that for me?”
“Keep a secret? I can do that. Why though, sir?”
Remus wondered why as well, even as his heart was overflowing. Severus had said that he loved him, not only that but he had spoken it aloud to another person, one who he valued. He felt flush and his heart was beating hummingbird fast. Awe and disbelief warred inside of him as he waited to hear what came next.
“Because he doesn’t know it yet,” Severus replied, “and I would very much like to be the one to tell him, but I need to wait for the right time.”
“I promise I won’t tell anyone, sir,” Teddy said solemnly. “But there is one thing I don’t understand - how could it ever be the wrong time to tell someone that you love them?”
Severus smiled – one of those rare, genuine smiles that overtook his features and set his eyes alight. Teddy’s innocence was a beautiful thing to witness. “The answer to that is complicated. The only question that worries me right now, is whether or not you are upset or confused about any of this.”
“No, sir,” Teddy replied right away with a shy smile. It had barely faded from his face when he was breaking into a big yawn. “You’re okay too then?” he asked.
“Me?” Severus questioned. “I’m fine, Teddy. What would make you think that I wasn’t?”
Teddy’s eyes flickered briefly over to the bottle on the table and then to where his hand was still resting on Snape’s arm. His small thumb began to travel back and forth across the material over Severus’ forearm as both his shoulders rose and fell in a shrug. “Earlier, it sounded like you were sick… or like something was hurting you.”
How long had the boy been listening outside the door? “Like I told you before, I was doing something that didn’t feel very good and it made me very ill while it was happening. It’s over now, and I’m quite alright. I’m sorry if it frightened you.”
“It’s fine, sir, I just want you to be okay, and…” Teddy’s lip began to tremble again.
Severus set his cup aside and opened his arms. The boy climbed up onto his lap, Snape directing all of his weight to rest on his good leg, while nestling the child into his arms. Teddy leaned against him and his eyes drooped almost instantly. “I’m so happy you’re home, sir.”
“There is nowhere else I’d rather be,” Severus told him, resting his cheek on the unruly hair on the crown of the boy’s head.
“I love you,” Teddy told him, letting his eyes drift all the way closed.
“I love you too, child. You have no idea.” Unnoticed on the other side of the room, Remus thought he had some idea, if the new scars littering his master’s body were any kind of an indication. He watched the two of them sit together like that for some time.
Eventually, Severus shifted. He cast a spell over Teddy and lifted him, walking over to the bed as easily as if he were carrying only his own weight. Remus closed his eyes and turned his face away slightly to keep up the pretense of being asleep. His mind was spinning and his heart was full to the point of bursting. He felt Snape lay the boy on the mattress and cover him with the blanket. His master lingered a moment, studying the sleeping face of the child in front of him before moving over to the window and opening it. He stood there, looking out into the pre-dawn dimness, his hands resting on the sill.
Finally, his owl swooped down onto a perch in front of him. Snape retrieved the rolled-up scrolls, tying them to the owl’s proffered leg and feeding him a treat before sending him off into the night with whispered instructions. This should get things moving along again. There was a letter to Darien Ackerley, asking how his enquiries were going, and one to Imogene Bateman, thanking her for her contribution to their cause and asking if there was anything they could do for her in return. Once his owl returned from that, he’d made a dozen copies of the same letter to send to key members of the Wizengamot, people who he thought would be open to their cause on principal alone. It was all he could do until he heard back from Darien, who would hopefully have dug up something useful.
He sat back in the chair by the fire and wondered if he had said too much to Teddy. He mostly trusted the child to keep quiet about it, though a traitorous voice told him that it might be better if he didn’t. It would save him the embarrassment of doing it himself and watching Remus stutter out utter denial at best and some placating lie at worst. No matter what Severus said, did or felt, the power disparity between them was still too great. So for now, he would wait - until his mind was clearer and less cluttered with horrors, until Remus trusted him a little more, until he was nearer to a cure, until they were closer to being on equal footing.
He downed the rest of his drink and shook his head, closing his eyes and letting his head tip back to rest on the chair. As if it would matter when he told he told Remus. Lupin was making the best of a bad situation here with him, and though they had, he believed, achieved a level of companionship during their time together, it would be highly unlikely that the other man would return the level of sentiment that Severus was experiencing. He had not ever, in his entire life, felt precisely this way about another person, and though he knew it could never be reciprocated, he would tell him that he loved him anyway. He would say it only once, tell Remus that he had no expectations of him and nothing would change between them. Or something like that. Still, he had to wonder if there was any point. Why make both of them feel awkward and uncomfortable? They were already obligated to be close, to be intimate and share their lives – what difference would a few words make in all of that? Yes, since he had returned home it seemed as if some filter had been removed from Remus, and Severus was now to be the baffled recipient of his open affections and care – but that was easily and most probably chalked up to pity or some form of guilt for what Severus had had to endure.
Ultimately, what was meaningless was this line of thinking. It changed nothing, moved nothing forward. It had managed to distract him from the dreadful images playing behind his eyelids every time he blinked, so there was that. He took stock of his sobriety, finding it mercifully not intact, though he wasn’t nearly as drunk as he would have to be in order to try and face sleep again. Holding his hand out parallel to the floor, he observed it for a time only to find it steady, unlike earlier where his whole body had been one poorly timed spasm. The alcohol helped with this, but only for a time, and then it would begin to cause its own problems. Perhaps it would be a good idea for him to go to the lab. He could check in on Draco’s progress and swap out the next round of blood samples – perhaps he would even be able to slip his own blood in there unnoticed by his godson.
He went to rise, stopping when he caught sight of the newspapers he’d brought up earlier. He allowed himself to sink back into his seat and pulled them into his lap, fingering the edge of the one on top. He’d always been the kind to rip the bandage off quickly, get the unpleasant bits over as soon as possible, so in theory, this should be no different. Deciding to stop prevaricating and just get on with it, he unfolded the paper and began to read.
Remus watched, keeping himself still but alert. He didn’t know what to do with the information he now possessed other than to marvel over it. His heart was beating wildly and he felt almost as if he couldn’t breathe. Severus had meant it. Somehow, impossibly, Severus Snape loved him. He struggled to find a reason that would possibly be true and came up short. He was broken, a ghost from Severus’ own past, nothing but a thing to be used and put away. He thought those things, but even as they blazed their familiar trails across his mind, they felt hollow and rang untrue. He felt like he was mending, like he somehow belonged in Severus’ present, and more and more he felt as if he might actually matter in a substantial way, not only to other people, but to himself as well.
Severus had helped him to do that, was continuing to help him and his son do that. Even here, in the late hours of the night or the early hours of the morning, when he was hurting and knocked off kilter, he stopped what he was doing for Teddy. He took time for him, talked to him, tried to teach him to be a better person. His heart ached for this man. He wished, not for the first nor likely the last time in his life, that he was not such a coward, because then he would get up out of this bed and go over to him, kiss him softly and tell him how he felt, damn both the bond and the consequences. He unscrewed his eyes to look over to where Severus was sitting, only to find him hidden behind the unfolded pages of one of the newspapers. Soon, he vowed to himself, he would do it soon.

He must have fallen asleep again, because the next thing he knew, he was blinking against the sun streaming through the curtains. He rose and dressed with little time wasted, finding Teddy already gone from the room. There was no sign of Severus either. He peeked in the possibly occupied rooms along the hall. No one was in Teddy’s room, Draco’s room or the room Harry had been using. Fred and the still sleeping Daniel were still in the last room in the hall, both the elf and the sickly boy had their eyes closed, though there appeared to be a ward over the child, likely to wake Fred if anything happened.
In the kitchen he found Harry and Teddy at the table beside a small tower of books. Parchment was spread across the table and Teddy’s hands were already covered in dried ink and he was still holding a quill.
“Good morning,” he said and was greeted in kind by both of them. “What are you doing?” he asked them, going to make himself a cup of coffee, feeling like he could use any energy it would lend him. Sleeping for the time he had had somehow only managed to underline his exhaustion.
“Harry is teaching me about magical creatures!” Teddy exclaimed excitedly. “I’m learning their names and how to identify them!”
Remus took a sip from his too hot cup, ignoring how it burned his tongue, and went closer to look at what they were doing. There were several books open, all seemingly on the subject of mermaids. There were several words written in Teddy’s imprecise hand across the parchment, as well as some drawings that Remus privately thought were quite impressive as they were done with a quill instead of the pencils he’d mostly been using. “Mermaids, eh?” he asked the two of them with a smile.
“Yeah, they’re so neat, dad! Did you know they can breathe under water? They live their whole lives under there.”
“There are some very remarkable things in the magical world,” Remus agreed. “Have either of you seen Draco or Severus?” he inquired.
“Not this morning,” Harry replied. “They’re not upstairs? Better check the lab then, maybe they’re down there?”
Remus fought off a sigh. Draco likely hadn’t come up from the basement yet and Severus had probably joined him down there before anyone was up. He didn’t think he’d survive bringing food down a second time, so prepared to do some of his best nagging when the opportunity arose. “I think I’ll go do that,” he told them, “keep at it. I’ll be up in a while.” He drained as much of his cup as he could manage and headed down the basement stairs.
He crept down the stairs, skipping the one that he knew had a horrendous squeak. Peering into the lab from the small landing at the bottom, he saw Severus leaning haggardly against the bench where the blood analyzing equipment was set up. Draco was at one of the tables with his head resting on his folded arms, by all appearances asleep.
“Hello,” he called softly, entering the room fully.
Snape spun around to look at him. His skin was ashen and dark circles lay like bruises under his eyes. Still, he attempted (and, in Remus’ opinion, failed) to arrange his face into a neutral expression of greeting. “Hello,” Snape answered.
“How’s it going?” Remus asked him, feeling like a fool. It was apparent that things were not going their best.
Severus exhaled sharply through his nose and shook his head, apparently having no words.
“Did Draco stay down here all night?” he asked, trying to get Severus to speak and knowing that he would be more likely to do that if the subject was something other than himself.
“He did,” Severus answered. “His skills are more than up to the task, but he is out of practice and some of the prep work is taking him longer than anticipated. He is having a small rest before he needs to carry on with the next phase of the potion.”
Remus looked nervously over to where a potion was merrily steaming away, all of the fumes being sucked out by the exhaust.
“He and I have reinforced the wards around the cauldron and preparation area, as long as you don’t go over to the far side of the room, you will be fine,” he said in answer to what he perceived as an unspoken question.
“You wouldn’t allow me to be down here otherwise,” Remus said with certainty as he moved a few steps closer. He noted that in addition to the equipment set up across the table, parchments were scattered everywhere, covered in Severus’ own spidery handwriting. “What’s all of this, then?”
Severus sighed, rubbing at his hand as if it were still causing him trouble. “I have compared Teddy’s sample from before his transformation to his blood sample now. The results, as anticipated, are wildly different from one another. Teddy’s blood has always been anomalous compared to that of a normal lycanthrope, because he was born with the condition instead of contracting it later in life. This has caused a variety of changes in the markers in his blood. In order to understand more about what is different and how this may have affected his reaction to the Wolfsbane I gave to him, I wanted to compare his sample to that of a regular werewolf.”
“You were already running Daniel's sample, did you use that?” Remus asked.
“I did. These are my first independent analyses of Daniel's blood and of Teddy’s pre-transformative sample.” He indicated two separate stacks of parchment. “And this is supposed to be my differential analysis comparing the two.” Here he gestured to a wildly unorganized spread of parchment, scrawled seemingly at random with mixtures of mathematic equations and blurbs of written words that predominantly meant nothing to Remus as his eyes scanned over them.
“…is it not going well?” Remus asked, wishing that he’d paid more attention while he was in school.
Severus rubbed at his eyes in an open display of frustration. “Everything is technically going as it should be, but the answers I’m coming up with are borderline absurd.”
“How so?” Remus asked.
“Daniel's blood has, inconceivably, almost as many anomalies in its lycanthropy markers as Teddy’s original sample did, and most of these markers appear to be in different places from one another. In spite of this, I have isolated several commonalities between the two samples, but nothing that appears significant.”
“So, what are you saying?” Remus asked, trying to keep up, but not quite getting there.
“I am saying that Daniel's blood is not that of a regular werewolf. I am speculating that he was removed from his place of residence for exactly such a reason, perhaps due to an inspection such as we endured.”
“You think that’s why they were drawing his blood?”
“I do, though for the moment, I’m not exactly sure what they were hoping to do with it. I’ll have to run another set of calculations. This time I’m going to make sure I start with the correct variables.” He looked expectantly at Remus.
“What?” Lupin asked. Severus just raised an eyebrow. “You want a sample of my blood,” he stated.
“It would be extremely useful,” Snape allowed.
Remus sighed, rolled up his shirtsleeve and reminded himself that this was somehow going to contribute to the end of lycanthropy.
“Thank you,” Severus murmured. He moved nearer with an empty vial and his wand, taking a full container of blood from Lupin’s arm. He went immediately to the equipment and deposited it into the first beaker, setting it to run through all of them and break the sample down into its individual components. “When this is complete, I will analyze your blood and then compare all four of the samples together. The process will be lengthy, but I think it will yield some enlightening results.”
“You think the answer will be in there somewhere?”
“Part of it, at least. I’m positive we will find pieces of it in the samples of tar, blood and hair from Teddy’s transformation as well, or perhaps in places and connections we have not thought of yet. There are many variables to consider and one missed step or wrong calculation will delay us from finding the correct one.”
“What are you working on now?”
“As in this very second?”
“Yes, Severus, right now,” Remus reiterated, amused.
“I am running both of our blood through these beakers so they may be studied.”
“If I’m not mistaken, you’ve been up for most of the night – maybe a break is in order?” Remus suggested.
Severus could see that Remus was just trying to understand, to be helpful, but the idea of sitting still and quiet made a shudder go through him. His hand was locking up from overuse and his head was throbbing – he felt his heavy pulse thrumming away in his recovering eye socket in a most unsettling way. He could feel every one of his new scars pulling tight across his skin, and he either needed to eat something or open a new bottle of Scotch, if his stomach and shaking hands were to be believed. He opened his mouth to say something completely unplanned by his brain, but was interrupted by the door opening loudly at the top of the stairs.
“Darien’s here!” Harry called from the kitchen.
Draco’s head flew up from where it was cradled on his crossed arms at the sound of the raised voice. He blinked rapidly and ran his hand through his hair, relaxing minutely when he saw Snape and Lupin standing across the room. “Shite,” he swore softly, rubbing at his eyes.
“Ackerley is here,” Snape informed him in lieu of ‘good morning’.
Draco fiddled with his wand. “So I’ve heard. I have eighty-four minutes until I’m needed back down here.” He stood and audibly cracked his back by raising his linked hands over his head. “Best go and hear what he has to say, you’re being charged more with each minute we’re down here, I’m sure,” he added with disdain, heading for the stairs.
Remus waited for Severus to go after him, following behind both of them. Severus was moving rather slowly and stiffly, lingering over his steps as if his leg was still giving him trouble – the last thing he wanted was for Severus to fall down the steps in his current condition. The stupidity of his earlier actions rang truer than ever – had he literally dragged himself up these steps such a short time ago?
Darien was already seated at the table when they reached the top. He nodded in greeting. “How are you, Severus?” He asked, real concern in his voice.
“If you gathered us all here to talk about that, I’ve got work to do in the basement,” Severus told him, moving to take a seat all the same.
“Alright then,” Darien agreed easily. “Have you read the papers this morning?” he asked.
Severus turned an odd shade of green at the thought of another newspaper. What he had read through the previous night had been more than the stuff of nightmares – it had been the grueling material of his actual life to slog through. There was nothing there that he had not permitted to be printed, and startlingly enough there had been little speculation and more truth than he’d actually been prepared to face. He’d tried to look at them in a detached fashion, as if he was a member of the public viewing them for the first time – but he had been unable to do so. There had been magical photos of his first death at the Ministry, interviews with the spectators that had watched it happen. The more he had looked, the more his mind reeled and recoiled. Looking at the photos from his arrival at St. Mungo’s had been something else entirely. “Not yet, I’ve been in the lab all day. What about you catch me up?”
Darien produced a copy of the Prophet from his robes and unrolled it on the table. “I wanted you to have some time to recover before involving you again, but things are developing very rapidly, so I felt it was prudent I not leave it wait any longer.”
Severus gave a nod. “Where is Teddy? I don’t think this is the sort of information he should be privy to.”
“He’s working in his room,” Harry said. His cheeks coloured. “Something about me being too distracting?” he added sheepishly.
Severus and Draco let out similar huffs of derisive laughter.
“Alright,” Snape said, “let’s hear what you have for us.”
“Well, as you know, I’ve been looking for people with a case against WIBNA who are also willing to talk publicly. Until recently, no one seemed to fit into both of those categories at once, due to all WIBNA’s underhanded tactics and the rather brutal way they tend to do business. I was having no trouble finding people with grievances against them, but no one wanted to be the first to come forward. I was having very little luck until those first couple of news articles came out, but nothing concrete, no one truly committed to stepping forward. Then, you three gave your speeches and collected the ballot, and I had more people dancing around the idea than ever before. But it wasn’t until we received the donation from The Academy of Brewers and the edition of the paper listing Severus’ sustained injuries with corroborating photos that I had any actual takers.”
“You think that we helped make that happen?” Harry asked.
“Most definitely. I have managed to sign to represent another eight people in their cases against WIBNA, and that is merely a start. More will come forward, now that we are gathering numbers and have the resources to protect those who enlist our services. The Ministry is now doing an inquest into WIBNA’s practices and policies, it will not be a fast-moving machine, but it should begin in the next few days.”
“Is that why you asked if we had read the papers?” Draco inquired.
“It was one of the reasons, yes,” Darien said. “The other is that Quinton Lanning has been personally named in this inquest, along with several of his peers and coworkers. The Ministry was quite disconcerted to find what he was keeping in his basement, and with the publicity this is getting, they don’t want to appear to be looking the other way. They’re just starting to analyze the materials and documents they found down there, but with the outrage surrounding this, they are at least appearing to run their investigation transparently. The public have a right to know what is being done with their money, and the pressure is on at the Ministry.”
“Have they taken him into custody yet?” Remus asked. He’d feel a lot better with Lanning locked in a cramped cell where he couldn’t hurt anyone but himself, but he wasn’t holding out much hope – he never did where the Ministry was concerned.
“No one has been arrested as of this moment, though several people have been advised that this isn’t a good time for international travel, if you know what I mean,” Darien answered. “I have to say, I didn’t expect to receive any sort of reaction like this – there was a protest of likeminded people in Diagon Alley yesterday. Nothing violent, but enough to make the news; you’ll find it on the second page here, behind the front page spread about the Ministry inquest and WIBNA’s silence on the matter. They haven’t made a formal statement yet, but one is expected in the next day or so.”
“The people who have come forward, do they all have legitimate cases?” Severus asked.
“Yes, so far,” Darien answered definitively. “As I said, we have more that are being processed as we speak. I don’t know what the end number of them will be, but I can say that what we have already is far more than I calculated we would get at all. The public were waiting for this, if the results we have achieved so far are any indication, they were desperate for it. The Ministry is shaken, more than you will read in that paper as of yet.”
“What do you mean by that, exactly?” Draco asked.
“I mean that I have it on good authority that other governments are leaning on the Ministry as well – you know that the enaction of these slavery laws was not well received internationally. With everything that has been printed in the papers these last weeks… I believe we are closer to our goal than it seems.”
“We’re not through yet,” Severus said. “I’ve written my reporters – If they’re interested in hearing my side of the story directly, they’ll be here the day after tomorrow. I’m prepared to give them free access in order to get our point across.”
Remus’ brow furrowed. “What does that mean?”
“It means,” said Severus, “that nothing about this is off limits to them, if they can stomach it. I’ll be bringing my Pensive out again and place any memory they wish to report on into it. I will answer questions and give statements about what they see after they are done viewing it. I’ve been assured that both the articles and any photos or pictures related to them are age restricted magically in the papers, like they were for the pictures of my demise and injuries were.”
“I… are you certain that’s a good idea?” Remus asked, feeling a little ill.
“Yes, I believe that it will be quite effective,” Severus answered, his face blank.
“I mean, is it a good idea for you to do that,” Remus clarified with a little force.
Severus’ face showed open confusion. “Of course it is, who else would do it?”
“He means he’s worried about you, you daft bugger,” Draco filled in, rolling his eyes.
Snape’s eyebrows climbed his forehead. “I lived it, I think I can talk about it for a couple of hours, Remus.”
“I don’t doubt you, I just want you to be alright, and that sounds like a lot to deal with.”
Severus actually had to snap his jaw shut to keep from barking at Remus to mind his own damn business! He took a visible moment to collect himself, to remind himself that Lupin was only worried for his wellbeing, and though it felt like mollycoddling, he only wanted what was best for him. He set his hand on Remus’ knee and said instead, “I appreciate your concern, but we have a larger agenda that isn’t going to wait around for me to get my shite together. I won’t squander your chance for freedom just so that I can feel better about things first – I think we might be waiting rather a long time for that,” he added quietly.
Remus took a shaky breath and nodded. He couldn’t believe that Severus was reaching out for him like this in front of people. Whether it was invited or not, he put his hand on top of Severus’ where it sat on his thigh. You could have heard a pin drop in the room as everyone found something else to look at, but Remus only had eyes for his master. “If you say so,” he allowed, “but you have to promise me you’ll take breaks if you need them and that you’ll stop if it becomes too much.”
Severus let out an aggravated sound but didn’t pull his hand away. “Alright,” he agreed, giving Remus’ knee a gentle squeeze.
After a moment, Darien cleared his throat. “Now, if there’s nothing else, I’m going to get back and help with the processing of our new potential clients. I’ll keep you informed of anything that seems relevant.” He stood and made as if to leave.
“Darien,” Severus said.
The man stopped and gave Snape his full attention.
“There is one more thing. I’ll need you to enquire about it quietly, however.”
Darien nodded.
“I’m looking for a missing boy. He is roughly the same age as Teddy, though he is shorter and thinner of build. Sandy hair, blue eyes – he may or may not be registered as a slave, though he is undoubtedly infected with lycanthropy. He goes by Daniel, but don’t let that narrow your search – his memory has been altered, so it is possible that isn’t his given name.”
Darien looked at his now unoccupied chair as if he may just sit back down in it, but he stopped himself. “You’re looking for him, or you’ve found him and you’re looking for where he belongs?”
Severus rolled his eyes and sneered, “Particulars.”
“You’re right – I don’t want to know, not yet anyway. I’ll put me feelers out.”
“That’s all I ask,” Snape nodded.
“You never ask much, do you?” Darien grinned at him.
Severus just let his thin shoulders rise and fall again elegantly.
Darien shook his head with a laugh and made his excuses, leaving the rest of them in the kitchen with the newspaper centered on the table in front of them.
“You have thirty seven minutes until you’re tied up with the next phase of the potion,” Severus said to Draco, breaking the quiet. “May I suggest that you eat something?”
Draco nodded and wearily went to stand.
Harry held out his hand, preventing him from rising. “Sit, Draco.” He instructed. “I’ll put something together.”
Draco was so tired, he didn’t even try to argue.
“What did you mean when you said Daniel might not be a slave?” Potter asked while he was bustling about the kitchen.
“Just what I said,” Severus told him. “Though his memories were altered, I could still see something of them and other than that basement, there didn’t seem to be the recollections you would expect to see from a slave, even with the alterations.”
“No reassuring voices jars or plush floating armchairs, then?” Harry asked lightly with his back turned.
“Nothing of the sort,” Snape replied with more humor than annoyance.
“What do you hope to achieve by identifying him?” Draco inquired.
“I hope to return him to his home if it is suitable,” Severus replied.
“And if it isn’t?” Draco questioned further.
“Then can remain missing,” Snape said bluntly. “We won’t hand him over to a tyrannical master or to some foul auction pen. I told him that he would be safe here, and he will be. Besides, I think that there may be something in his blood that WIBNA is very interested in. All signs point to them drawing unusual amounts of it for some purpose, and when I analysed a sample for myself, I found it to be riddled with irregularities. Further research is needed, but we will do everything in our power to keep him out of their hands.”
“You’ll show me what you found?” Draco asked. “Maybe we can figure out what it is they’re after.”
“One thing at a time – first, finish the wolfsbane. In the meantime, I would like Potter to take a copy of our findings on this subject to Granger, subtly, of course. Once I am done copying the documents, I will spell them so that if they come into contact with more than three magical signatures in the time they are in existence, they will self destruct.”
“So that once you’ve given them to me and I’ve given them to Hermione, they’ll destroy themselves if anyone else touches them?” Harry asked, sounding impressed despite himself.
“Exactly,” Severus confirmed. “We cannot risk this information getting into the wrong hands, but I believe we could use an extra set of eyes. I will copy what we have right now and my analysis of it and we will continue to feed her more information as it comes to us, as long as she is agreeable. No one forget that she has much to lose if we are sloppy and her assistance comes to light.”
“Let me know when you have it ready,” Harry said. “I’ll go deliver it and report back.”
Severus gave a sharp nod.
By this point Harry was placing their food in front of them, beginning with Draco, who thanked him and began to eat immediately. There wasn’t much time left before he was needed in the basement and it would be a while before he surfaced again. His wand began to chime just as he was rising to take his plate to the sink. Potter stood and relieved him of his dishes with a grin and an urgent, “Go!” And so go he did, handing everything over and turning on heel, heading down the basement stairs at great speed.
Harry took his dishes to the sink, returning for the unused portions of everyone else’s. “Do you think it will ingratiate me to Fred at all if I do the dishes?” he asked.
“I think time alone will heal that wound,” Severus smirked. “Has Teddy already eaten?”
“Yeah,” Harry answered. “He was up quite early, I fed him then.”
Severus nodded again. “Your help in all of this has been appreciated,” he said stiffly.
Harry’s eyes bulged. “Um, well, you're welcome?” he said uncertainly. “Thank you for letting me stay here, I guess.”
“Your presence here has not been without benefit,” Severus admitted, “though of course you are welcome to return home at whatever time you choose.”
Harry’s face showed brief dismay, recovering not quite quickly enough for Snape not to notice. He took up the remaining dishes and turned his back to them. “I… Um, yeah, don’t mention it, and I’ll be out of your hair by tomorrow – now that you’re back you probably don’t need me underfoot all of the time.”
“What’s the problem?” Severus asked, barely holding back an enormous sigh.
Harry ran his hand through his hair with a small measure of agitation. “No problem,” he said in contrast to his gesture. “Everything’s fine.”
“Just spit it out already, Potter, some of us are already old,” Severus said, ignoring Remus’ mumbled ‘speak for yourself’.
Harry turned around to face them, his voice steeling just a little. “Really, it’s fine.”
“Alright, ‘it’ is damned peachy,” Severus said with heavy sarcasm. “Now, since ‘it’ is so bloody ‘fine’ you should have no trouble telling us what ‘it’ is. Please proceed.” He must be a changed man if he was using platitudes when speaking to Potter.
“The flat I was living in was supplied by the Ministry, and since I, uh, have been indefinitely suspended because the higher ups don’t like my open involvement in this, they asked me to temporarily relocate all of my possessions.” Harry straightened his spectacles and shuffled his gait. “I’ve had all of my things moved to Hermione’s, but they don’t really have room for me AND all of my things. I’d stay with Ron, but he’s also employed by the Ministry, and I’m not exactly welcome on their property right now, so…”
“They made you leave your home?” Remus asked, wondering why Harry hadn’t thought to mention that.
“You’ve been sacked?” Severus deadpanned.
“No,” Harry protested, “not at all! I’ve just been suspended because they don’t like me being the face of this freedom movement while also being a Ministry Auror.”
“You’ve been suspended. Indefinitely. So indefinitely, that you’ve been asked to vacate your Ministry provided home.”
“Yeah, but…” Harry ran his hand through his hair a little more aggressively than the time before. “Shite. I’ve been sacked.” He took a deep breath. “Really, it’s still going to be just fine, I don’t take up much space and I know Hermione won’t mind.”
“Your presence at her home would draw to much attention to her, and since she’s been overtly threatened in the past, that may have a detrimental effect on her that we are not prepared for,” Severus said.
“Right,” Harry agreed. “I’ll rent a room in that case. How far is the town from here? That would just be perfect, I could help, but it would still give you space.”
“The length of the commute would be problematic. My wards being what they are and with no floo set up, much of your day would be used up in travel,” Severus said bluntly.
“Right,” Harry agreed with a bit of frustration. “Well what would you like me to do then?” he asked angrily.
Remus decided to interpret for Severus, and took a leap. “I think that Severus is implying that you should continue staying here, Harry.”
Harry turned his gaze to Snape for confirmation. “He is?”
“It would be the most convenient,” was all the verbal affirmation Severus was willing to give for the moment.
“I…” Harry started and then failed to continue. He gathered himself up, “If you’re sure, Snape – I’ve had enough of being where I’m not wanted in my life, and I’ll put up with a bit of travel time in order to avoid more of it.” Harry seemed to brace himself for something, but showed not a hint of backing down from it.
“I rarely say things that I am uncertain of, Potter,” Severus told him plainly. He thought of what he endured in that basement as much as his sanity would presently allow and weighed it momentarily against what this young man had actually done to him and came up lacking. Perhaps something had ruptured in his brain, but he felt as if he owed that young man more than that ambiguous statement. “You are welcomed to stay here, if further clarification was needed. I would not offer otherwise.”
“I suppose it’s good for the cause to have me close at hand, but I would hate to be a burden,” Harry said uncertainly, as if any word he spoke would break the spell and have him out on his arse.
“It is good for more than the cause,” Severus said, feeling like he needed a drink or was already drunk. “It is also good for Teddy – I am hoping that some of your devil-may-care attitude will rub off on him. I believe your presence here also benefits Remus, and if I am not mistaken, Draco as well. And perhaps I am being ungenerous by only saying only that it is of no detriment to myself. If you are in need of further clarification – and as far as I can recall, you always did – you are invited to remain as a guest and member of this house, and in no way is your continued presence here a burden.” There. He hoped that this was one of the meager few times he had made Lily proud in regards to her son.
Harry adjusted his glasses again, seemingly at a loss for words. “Thanks,” he eventually croaked out, not able to meet either of their eyes as he turned back to rinse the plates, silent for a moment as he ran the water and methodically rinsed and stacked all of the dinnerware and utensils. “I’m going to go make sure that Draco doesn’t need anything down there, and when he kicks me out I’ll maybe see about taking Teddy to the pond for a while.”
“That sounds great Harry, thank you,” Remus smiled at him. Privately, he couldn’t believe he’d just heard what he had, coming from Severus. His heart ached to see just how those few words of welcome had clearly impacted Harry, though his heart swelled in equal measures to know that Severus was capable of saying them.
Potter nodded at them and opened the door to the basement, closing it quietly behind himself.
“I regret that his participation in this has cost him so greatly in his personal life,” Severus said.
Remus rose from his chair. “Me too,” he said wholeheartedly, before leaning in and touching his lips lightly to Snape’s. Now his heart ached for an entirely different reason – ‘I love you’ was on the very tip of his tongue, and if he didn’t say something else or bite it off completely, those were going to be his next words. “We should go check on Daniel.” Praise and damnation, he was either a coward or a master strategist, and he knew himself well enough not to have to really speculate.
“You’re right,” Severus agreed, standing. “If his condition is unchanged, I will send Fred to retrieve that Healer.”
“Lead the way.”

A/N: Sorry for yet another crazy long time in between updates! Hopefully you enjoyed it and it was worth the wait. Pleaase let me know what you think, it makes all of this worth it. I've also started to post this on Archive of Our Own some time ago, and though it isn't all there yet, it will be lightly edited so I remain familiar with the earlier chapters of the story. I really hope that you are all safe and happy during this crazy time and that this update brought you some enjoyment. Thanks for reading!
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The Long Road