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Searching My Soul	By : snapesgirl1981 Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Harry/Snape Views: 14666 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 5
- 6
- 7
Searching My Soul
by snapesgirl1981

AN: Sorry for the little delay- I had to reboot my system and a busy college week so far. The next chapter is already written, you should get it before the weekend.

Chapter 6

Harry decided that since Snape hadn't clearly voiced anything else, he was allowed to stay here and use his bathroom- for some reason he didn't want to examine his own desire to stay in Snape's quarters as long as possible. It was a very strange unknown feeling for him to feel at home somewhere, because as much as he loved Hogwarts it was only a boarding school in the end and no real home, a temporar place to stay for the school year. He had never felt at home at the burrow and hesitant he was to admit it, not even this house had so far felt like it, it being too closely linked with the Blacks and Voldemort. But for some obscure reason his mind and heart had decided that right here in his professor's bedroom he was allowed to feel at home. He sighed as he shuffled to the door and stepped into a bathroom that was neither very large nor unusually splendid looking. It was almost completely out of creamy marble and it had one big shower that he intended to use to clean the sticky mess he had made off his skin.

He started the water, adjusted the temperature to make it comfortably warm and after having pulled off his pyjamas he stepped under the soothing stream of water. Closing his eyes he tried to relax, to get the tension out of his body that seemed to be present now for a couple of weeks. When he had left Hogwarts that last day he had not come to any kind of closure for his pain and without him realizing her had neglected his own body's needs like sleeping and eating properly. When Snape had touched his ribs and commented on his poor state there had been something warm in his gaze, a concern that was momentarily present. Even in the intense state of arousal he had been in, and Harry being a sixteen-year old teenager it was very intense, he had felt warmed by that look, by the fact that anybody cared enough for his well-being to adress the issue.

He began to soap his body for once not being plagued by an erection and enjoyed the feel of the creamy shower gel on his body- it smelled exactly like Snape's body had smelled so it was very likely the gel he himself used and that thought made it feel even more pleasurable to use it on his own body. He decided to wash his hair as well suddenly remembering that he hadn't done so since he had returned from Pivet Drive and used after some contemplation a green bottle that smelled like lemon and herbs. It was labelled only as 'hair shampoo' so he felt safe to use it. After he had rinsed off he stepped out of the tube and grapped a soft towel from a nearby shelf. Not wanting to go back into his pyjamas he carefully wrapped the towel around his skinny frame and stepped into the bedroom. It was once again emtpy and with a last yearning look to the bed he opened the door to the hallway and made the short walk to his own room.

Compared to the other bedroom it felt even more cold and deserted and he hurriedly put on a fresh pair of jeans, much too big but otherwise okay and he fixed that problem with a belt. He hurriedly grapped a dark blue t-shirt, again much too big and with an ugly yellow smilie on it and left the room. As he went down the stairs he heard Tonks and Lupin talking from the kitchen and deicded to have some breakfast before he was to talk with the headmaster. When he entered the door frame the two looked up and Tonks grinned.

"Good Morning, Harry. Slept well?" Today she was taller than usual and had short black hair. She seemed to be very tired because she yawned occasionally.

Harry nodded silently and sank down in one of the chairs gratefully gripping a mug full of steaming tea. Lupin looked at him with a soft smile.

"Your eyes are alive again, Harry. I am glad to see that, I was quite worried as you arrived here."

Harry shrugged. "Living with the Dursleys is not a pleasant experience. I am okay for now." He hoped to close the subject with that but Lupin stared at him with concern all over his face.

"You know that you can talk with me anytime you want Harry? No matter about what, I am here and available."

Harry nodded shortly feeling a bit ashamed that he didn't want to talk with Lupin about his pain but with another wizard who was in the house somewhere but had probably no idea about that. He took a huge gulp and as Tonks handed him a plate with stirred eggs and some ham he tucked in all in a sudden very hungry. He wolfed down one plate and Tonks handed him with a huge grin another one.

"Sorry, but I haven't eaten very much in the last weeks," Harry muttered between bites.

"Yeah, I can see that. You sure lost some weight, so I have no complaints if you gain some, Harry." She sat down and gazed into her cup of tea. "Did you have dinner yesterday?"

Harry looked up and nodded. "Yes. The stew was finished so Professor Snape prepared me some potatoes and eggs." He hoped to sound as usual while stating this.

Lupin smiled warmly. "That was awfully nice of Severus." He held Harry's gaze for a second and then he motioned to the door. "When you are finished Harry, Professor Dumbledore wants to talk with you. He is in the living room."

Harry hastily gulped down the last bites and left the room. He knocked at the closed living room door and when he heard the headmaster's gentle "Come in!" he obbeyed.

Dumbledore sat on a chair some parchments he was obviously reading on the table in front of him. Snape stood with his back to the table at the window not moving when Harry entered. He closed the door behind him and as Dumbledore motioned him forward he stepped to the table.

"Ah, I am glad to see you Harry. Have you slept well?"

It was now the second person asking him that this morning and again Harry only nodded.

"Please sit down Harry." Harry complied and Dumbledore took a sip from his cup. "You might be relieved to hear that so far we haven't heanytanything from Voldemort and Severus has not been summoned so far. Things with the ministry are working well again and I have talked with Arthur this morning and he assured me that at the end of the week his family and Miss Granger will be here until school starts."

Harry smiled shortly not feeling as delighted as he should have felt and again feeling guilty. He remembered last night's noise and looked up.

"What has happened last night, Professor? I heard a loud noise."

Dumbledore smiled softly. "Tonks attacked me when I entered the house." At Harry's disbeliefing stare he softly chuckled. "She heard me talking to your head of house and obviously still half asleep casted a binding spell. Thank god we were able to completely wake her up instantly but Lupin had to cast a protection spell. It was very unfortunate and I am sorry you were worried."

Harry tried to look at Snape but he was still turned away and seemed not to follow the conversation. "Then why did Professor Snape had to keep me in his room?"

Dumbledore nodded, this time seriously. "I ordered him to because I was warned by some friends that Voldemort planned an attack on the house but it turned out to be a mistake. Again I am sorry to have worried you."

"That's alright Sir. I wasn't majorly worried anyhow. I simply heard a noise and no curses, it could have been anything."
/>
For a moment they were silent but then Dumbledore broke the silence. "As Severus has just informed me you want to take further occlumency lessons?"

Harry nodded shortly. "Yes, I didn't take it seriously enough last time and we all know where that ended. I never want to give Voldemort the oppurtnity to enter my mind again."

Dumbledore smiled once more gently and padded Harry's shoulder. "I am very glad to hear that and I want to point out that I would not have ordered you to take them again but since you volunteered."

He got up from his chair and turned to Snape. "Severus, I have to return to the ministry and I won't be back for several days. I want it to be understood that you are to have an eye on Harry at all times." He turned again to Harry and smiled. "We face no immediate threat but I don't want to take any chances. Please, prepare to move your belongings to Professor Snape's room and don't leave the house."

Harry stared at him for a second not daring to believe his own ears and then nodded vehemntly. It was as if he was presented with all his christmas presents already, the chance to spend more time with Snape and to continue to sleep in his bed. It would be an interesting time during the next two weeks and he couldn't wait until he could talk with Snape alone.

The potions Master accompanied the headmaster to the main door but he cast Harry a says ays glance as he passed the table. There was again loads of amusement in his eyes but also a warning that Harry's didn't quite understand.

No lemons here but more very soon. Tell me if I am moving too quick or not and if it appears in character still. This will get even more graphic so beware please. Review if you like.
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Searching My Soul