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Delightful Pain	By : sabreenthequeen Category: Harry Potter > Het - Male/Female > Draco/Hermione Views: 36261 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 2
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 5
- 6
- 7
Author's Note: I changed my name to Queen of Serpents from what I had previously. Hope you still know it's me!
Disclaimer: I don't own anything you recognize and unfortunately for me, I'm not making any money on this. What a waste of time no?
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Delightful Pain
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Chapter V: Prisoner
Her POV:
"Draco?" said my quavering voice. He came. I thought he wouldn't. I thought no one cared about me but apparently he did. Or at least he couldn't leave me. Maybe he was as addicted to me as I was to him.
I didn't know why I said his first name. But I did and saying it had both shocked him and me. So easily had his name slipped from my tongue. My rapist's name. Draco Malfoy. My enemy since the first day I met him.
There was silence after I spoken his name. I saw his silver eyes widen in shock and then close like as though he loved to hear me say his name. As though my saying it was a medicine that cured his agonizing disease, or a drink that quenched his thirst. A moan from deep within his throat escaped his lips.
He actually moaned and it wasn't an aggravated or frustrated one, but one that someone gives out of in pleasure.
I saw his hand clenching into a fist, his nails digging into his palm. His eyes were closed as if in deep concentration. And I saw something fall from the corner or his eyelid. It was a tear.
Was he crying? Was the sadistic rapist, Draco Malfoy actually crying? But for what reason?
And before I was able to say another word, before I was able to even think of what to say next... he spoke. It was a whisper. So silent and soft that I barely was able to hear it, but I did.
"I'm sorry," he said meekly and then fled the room, shutting the door behind him. And I sat there on my bed, naked with my sheets wrapped around my bosom, staring at the closed door where he stood just moments before.
Unblinking, I sat there waiting for him to open the door again and laugh in my face saying it was all a joke. I waited for the door to open and for him to enter and do what he always does...force me into sexual intercourse. But minutes passed and it never happened and I buried my face in my hands and cried. I cried in despair, in frustration, anger, and sadness. I didn't know what was happening to my life. Everything is just so confusing I have no clue what will happen next.
And then his last two words echoed through my head 'I'm sorry.' My mind finally caught up to the meaning behind those two words. He was sorry. He was sorry for raping me and sorry for whatever he did. He finally came to his senses and asked for forgiveness. Draco Malfoy, Ice Prince and son of a Death Eater actually apologized. But the more important question was: Will I forgive him?
A part of my mind would never forgive the pain he caused. He had torn me of my innocence, my pride, my right to say no. He had caused me pain everyday; the blood and the bruises. He had ruined my friendships, lost me my goal in life, and my ambition. My love of books and studying had gone away and I was no longer me. For that I would never forgive him.
But another part just tells me to let go of the past and start afresh. Sure he caused me pain and grief, but he was repenting for his sins. Knowing and accepting your mistake took heart and courage and saying sorry took even more. He had put his ego aside and apologized and that was something great for a Slytherin and a Malfoy to do.
So will I forgive him? Perhaps not. Can I forget whatever he did? No. But I know what I can do. I can move past this. What he did to me shouldn't ruin my life. I needed to get back in track and study and go back to being the real me.

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The next few days passed rather slowly. Time just didn't seem to pass. However still next thing I know it's been a week since he apologized and he never came to visit me since then. I had thought that by not seeing him, this folly of wanting him would cease, but it never had.
Not being raped for a whole week was unusual for I no longer had to conceal most of my bruises. They were slowly diminishing but there were still marks on my back. I don't think they'll ever leave.
I was thankful that I didn't have to walk with unbearable pain between my legs. I was grateful that his visitations ended for the simple reason that I was glad I was no longer getting physically hurt, but mentally...that was another story.
I had thought that I would stop wanting him to touch me since the day he apologized. I had hoped that after not seeing him face to face and not talking to him, this would end my inner turmoil of desire to touch his flesh and have him touch mine. But it only doubled the need to have him. Intensified the lust and craving I had for him. I can't understand it. Have I fell for his charm like every other girl in Hogwarts that had reached puberty? Have I begun to fall for him? Have I already fell? Why is it that I lust after my rapist? It's absurd.
I haven't spoken to him once since then. The last word I said to him was his name and last thing he said that was directed to me was 'I'm sorry.' We never meet in the Head Common Room. Somehow our routine was such that I would wake up first and go to the bathroom and then get out and change in my room as he went to the lavatory and then I would go out to breakfast. Then after classes, he would hang out with his friends or go to Quidditch practice as I did my homework and if he was inside the Head Rooms, I would be at the Library. And this way the only times we saw each other would be during glimpses at the Great Hall (though I tried my best to take a seat so I wouldn't face the Slytherin Table) and during classes, but even then we would sit far apart with many students to block our way to look at each other.
The only classes we shared were Potions, Transfiguration, and Arithmancy. And it was during Transfiguration that I stared at him during classes for he entered late and due to the limited seating, he chose a place to sit two seats down from me at the back.
It was during this class, that I found myself unable to look away from him. I stared at his long fingers, holding his quill, playing with it as he tried to listen to Professor McGonagall give out a lecture about tardiness. His fingers were long and I remembered how those perfect nails of his would scratch me and pinch me enough to draw blood. How his fingers would bruise me, the tips soft, the palms calloused from holding a broom for Quidditch.
And then my gaze went upwards to his chest, lean and muscular. And his shoulders where I remembered leaving a mark, thinking that by hurting him, he would stop. And then his face, pointed and regal. His lips slightly pink. I wanted to feel those lips on mine again. Even if they bruised me. He opened his mouth to talk to his friend seated next to him. His teeth were straight and perfect as well and I remembered how they would bite me hard. And as he spoke, his tongue rolled around and I thought longingly how they darted in and out of me, teasing me and creating a sea of emotions that now I can never remove from my mind.
I didn't know when but he had turned his head and our eyes had met. They were unguarded and I could see regret and guilt in those silvery eyes of his. For the first time ever I noticed that those mesmerizing eyes of his had specks of blue. They were wonderful so deep and full of emotion that I found myself being caged inside. But then he had sealed me from his thoughts again and he looked away, perhaps not being able to see me any longer and unknowingly a tear formed in my eye and I didn't notice a pair of emeralf eyes give me a look of concern.
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After class I had been followed by Ginny and someone else. They called my name and asked me to stop and talk to them. Hearing his voice saying my name brought my eyes to sting. I couldn't believe my ears. It was his voice! The voice I was waiting to come and speak to me. The voice belonging to my best friend who had been away and whose owl I waited night and day to receive. It had been so long since I heard him say my name. So long. Too long.
Even she said it too; Ginny. I missed her with all my heart yet she didn't care. I wonder why they called me now. I had turned around and met their gazes with indifference, trying my best to keep my face blank and my emotions at bay but I didn't succeed very well. Seeing Harry's broad grin, the happiness not quite reaching his eyes had weakened me so much. He stretched out his arms to me for I to run into him and embrace him, Ginny giving a nod of approval.
It was then that my mask had been removed. It was then that I began to cry. I didn't know how it started. Perhaps all those days that I wanted to run into Harry and Ginny and throw my arms around him and tell them all my problems returned and wave after wave of heavy sobs and tears overflowed me and next thing I know, Harry had taken a step forward and I was sobbing into his chest. His familiarity was calm and soothing and I never felt more content in his arms before.
I really missed him, yet as much as I missed having him being there for me, as much as I missed having his arms around me like a loving brother, lifting the worry off my shoulders and taking it into his own, there was something awkward in our embrace. Harry never owled me. He never told me what had happened to him and Ginny? She acted so cold towards me all this time. What had caused her to bring Harry to me?
Yet still they were here. If they were to wish, they didn't need to talk to me. Maybe Harry didn't blame me for what happened to Ron. Maybe Harry brought some sense into Ginny and told her I wasn't to blame. Whatever it was, they were all here and that's all that mattered. But did I want to be friends again with them or at least her? They never asked me what was wrong with me on their own. So many horrible things had happened to me yet they didn't know...didn't do a thing. For the first time Harry Potter couldn't save the day. He wasn't there when I most needed him. But at least he was here now. And I need him now as well. I needed to have a friend that would help me forget Draco Malfoy and the whole ordeal.
But still the fact that they came now of all times, the fact that I heard no word from Harry from all this time, the fact that Ginny blamed me and threw me out of her life made me angry. I was angry at Harry and Ginny and especially at Draco Malfoy. If it weren't for him right now I could have been talking and laughing with my two best friends or worrying about Ron together perhaps. If it weren't for him I wouldn't be in the state I'm currently in.
I took a tiny step back so I was able to look into Harry's eyes and he was smiling at me. But I was able to distingish that the smile he wore was not happy in the least. They led blame. They made me feel guilty. Harry thought it was my fault too.
I quickly removed myself from Harry's embrace and ran the opposite way, away from Harry and Ginny and the coldness I felt from them.
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I was too upset to do go to the Library like I normally do during this hour. I knew that he had to be in the Head Common Room at this moment and I wanted to meet him. I felt like hurting him as revenge for what he did to me. I wanted to yell at him. I wanted to hurt him so bad that he would beg for me to stop. I wanted to make him bleed and bruise and ruin his perfect body. I wanted to rip out all his perfect silky hair and rake my fingers through his skin and mark him as he marked me. I wanted him to scream my name in pain like I had screamed his before. I wanted to cause him so much agony that he would never want to look at another person again. It was his fault I was no longer like the old Hermione Granger.
The common room was dark when I entered it and saying Lumos it had lit up and I saw him laying face down on a black couch napping. All his books were scattered on the floor and his ink bottle was open and drying. He was shirtless and all I wanted to do is whip out a belt and beat him to death, torture him to no end.
I stomped towards him, ready to vent out all my anger. My footsteps were heavy and he woke up due to it, rolling over on his back to see me, trying to pry open his sleepy eyes. It was then for the first time that I noticed the bags under them. I felt sorry for him for a moment but it soon left at the memory of seeing my face in the mirror, seeing the scars I had on me and the lifeless state of my mind and it had welled up all my anger.
I walked over to him and he stood up. His towering height didn't seem as intimidating as it used to. My anger was so great, I smacked him right on his left cheek. He was still sleepy and didn't do a thing to stop me. His pale sensitive skin had already turned a bright shade of red. It must have stung, but he didn't do a thing to stop me. Instead he looked down at me, his grey eyes still full of regret, grief and sorrow. They gave me a message telling me to continue. Telling me that he knows he deserves what I am about to do to him. I smacked his other cheek and walked closer to him, beating down on his chest, tears of frustration trailing down my cheeks. And then after a while I couldn't do it anymore.
The look in his eyes were enough to make me melt. I couldn't continue this. He was sorry for what he did and I was still mad, but more than angry I was tired and frustrated with all this. I had enough. I couldn't continue this any longer. I took a step back and then sank down to my knees, burying my face in my hands, my tears leaking through. He stood there still looking at me. Both his cheeks were red and swollen already. And then again those feelings of want and desire rained down on me.
Sure he did all those awful things but a part of me wanted to him to stay no matter what. Even though he caused me pain, I missed him. I missed the way he made my heart thump in fear. I missed the way his cold eyes would stare at me, dark with lust. I missed the way his hands would leave marks all over my body. I even missed the way I bit my lip from screaming in pain.
As weird and pathetic as it may seem I miss everything about him. And after all he did to me I want to forgive him.
And suddenly I found myself in a position I can never get myself out of. I hated him, yet I lusted after him. I wanted to get away from him, yet I wanted to have him with me forever.
And it was then that I couldn't take it any longer. I needed an answer to these questions that are welling up deep within my heart. All these things that are happening to me suddenly made me snap.
"Why are you doing this to me?" I demanded. "Why is it that one moment I hate you and the next I lust after you? Why do you hurt me so bad, make me bleed and cry but then you act all nice? Why one moment you give me such pain and the next you give me such pleasure I never felt before? Why am I wanting for you to hold me and to touch me? Why even though you had raped me I want to forgive you and forget all this and start afresh? Why am do I feel this way?"
I waited for him to answer but he still looked at me with those feelings of hurt and grief in his eyes.
"Because of you I lost everything I ever had! I lost my will to live, my reputation, my pride. I am no longer me. The Hermione Granger everyone knew is gone and you have turned me into something I can't understand. One moment I never want to see your face and the next I want you by my side forever. One moment I want to hit you and the next" my voice lowered considerably so that I was now whispering, this hidden part of me that I finally had the courage to admit "...and the next I want to kiss you."
He walked forward, his eyes still on mine, and sat next to me and I buried myself in his chest and cried.
"What have you done to me?" I whispered. My whole body trembled as I felt his lips on my temple. I moved my head back a little so I could see his face. I was once again finding myself drowning in those beautiful eyes of his. His grey eyes were so heavily laden with guilt that it tore me in two. He must really be sorry for what he did to me. My heart was weighted down by a ocean of emotions and I couldn't find the shore.
But I closed my eyes, urging myself not to fall in those mesmerizing eyes of his again.
"You have made me your prisoner," said my shaky voice. "And now..." I sighed and looked at him straight in the eye. "Now I want-- command--- no... beg for you to release me," I said more firmly.
But deep within me I knew that he couldn't release me. He held me captive so deeply that there was no way out. The gates were sealed and freeing me was now completely impossible.
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Author's Note: Hm... I don't like this story as much as everyone else does. I find it a tad bit... Er... I don't know the word. Still since I got so many reviews I might as well continue right?
And since I got so many reviews, thank you so so much for the reviews! I got a lot I'm so happy!
Shampoo: good question. I really don't have an answer. I'll have to think about that.
Richgal: Yes I know they are OOC, but I couldn't continue like that forever you know. Besides when you write a story like this, or any other HG/DM fic it's bound to be OOC at one point or another.
Draco_Luva: good point. I know I haven't really gone indept with that part of the story, but if you see in the prologue, Draco really starts to physical hurt her like scratching her and bruising her with his hands and stuff. I didn't get into it because I guess... I never felt the need.
Harahettaomonkeyking: lol I think I actually understood that!
Elektra Malfoy: Damn those typos!!! I hate them. Sadly whenever I proofread my work, they go unnoticed. Blasted eyes of mine!!! Anywayz I love DM/HG! I'm such a huge shipper of it too. Check me out in fanfiction.net (same penname.) Hm... I should stop advertising, I really should.
Hanna Delacour: WOW!!! 2 HUGE reviews from one person! Wow very encouraging words you have given me. I'll never stop writing! Don't worry. As for what you have written... Wow I'm sorry but hey at least now I know I'm not too farfetched in my writing. I'm not too experienced nor did I know much about the topic that I was writing about when I began four months ago, but I have done research since then. Hopefully I'll be able to live up to what other people expect in this story and hopefully I won't dissapoint anyone especially you!
evilkittieninja: BLASTED TENSES!!! I never seemed to get them right, not in 3rd grade and not now! *glares at self* I'm such a dope. I'm sorry that I do, but I'm too lazy to fix them. In the future you might see a lot of those still. I have this prewritten and I probably won't notice when I do change but I'll keep it in mind.
Jacky: LoL, when I meant OOC, I meant "out of character" not "own character." I'm sorry if I may have confused you but I won't be putting any of my own characters here. Don't worry!
ThE_bAd_EgG: your welcome. Normally I always respond to my reviews. Sometimes I might not in one chapter but I mention them in the next. Anywayz thanks for reading!
Also thanks a bunch to Anon, Triospleasure, Essence, loveally2487, Apollonia, jeannette, viz, Amy, Pansy D, pennywise, shay, too cute, hermione_grange, Meagan, Watashi Sekai no Megami Kette, Vixen Malfoy, Huntress1089, marcella, and andrea.
I'll update as soon as I get a substantial amount of reviews and whenever I finish fixing up the next chapter. In addition, I suppose I'll begin a mailing list for my story. Please leave your email address if you want to be included!
Now do be a dear and review!
All Hail,
Queen of Serpents
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Delightful Pain