Adult-FanFiction.org : Harry Potter

Freud and his Friends	By : Alexa Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Harry/Draco Views: 4875 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 5
- 6
- 7
Freud
and His Friends - 6 - Session 7

------------------------------------

AN: I know, I should be spanked for
taking so much time. I won't go into explanations, but I will just say that the
last few months of my life will probably provide good material for a thriller,
if I ever choose to write one.

AN2:
IMPORTANT!!! Pertaining the promises of a happy end � I decided that if the
characters will allow it, the guys will stay together, if not � they won't. I really
don't want to force anything. I will guide, but not force. But I promice Draco will be happy in the end - you can hold me to that!

------------------------------------

"Hello
Draco."

"Good
morning Frank."

"So
how are you?"

"Good,
actually. You?"

"As
well, thank you. What is so good?" The therapist was smiling, Draco smiled
back.

"I
don't know. I had a bit of a break down over the weekend, but it turned out
okay. It released some steam."

"What
was the break down about?"

"Hm�
hard to define, really. Some of it about being alone, without him, some of it
about how I feel about him."

"Which
is?"

"I
love him, obviously. But I think I'm sabotaging my relationship with him."

"In
what way?"

"I'm
testing it � how much can it take, how far can it stretch."

"Testing
him."

"Yes."

"Why,
do you think, you feel the need to test him?"

"�
I have no idea."

"Try.
Any ideas?"

"�
No. Really."

"Tests
are usually needed when one is not sure about the results."

"�
Are they? I suppose there is something in that."

"And?"

"If
it's about the results, then I hope he will stay, and prove that he loves
me."

"Is
it about the results?"

"No.
I don't know."

"Let's
try to define this. You think you are testing him and your relationship. But
you are not sure if your interest is in the results. Right?"

"Yes."

"For
any testing to be successful it has to be clearly defined. Its purpose and
questions, the subject tested, the strategy employed, what would be the
acceptable answer and what would mean that further investigation is needed� Can
you define these things in what you're doing?"

"As
far as the strategy goes, the way I'm doing it is straining his patience and
seeing how far I can bug him."

"Is
he the test subject?"

"Yes
and no. I'm testing myself as well."

"For?"

"�How
good I am."

"At
what?"

"At
keeping him. Can I keep him faced with all of these� wounds I'm inflicting. And
am I worth it in the long run."

"Are
you worth for him to stay with you."

"Yes."

"Why
would you doubt yourself and him in the first place?"

"Because
I'm stupid?"

"But
you are not. That much was always clear. So why are you not sure about
yourself, your worth, your relationship?"

"I
didn't know I was."

"And
now?"

"Maybe
because I don't always know if what I did was enough to stay with him."

"Could
you explain?"

"I
am the son - the heir - of a Death Eater. A very prominent and loyal Death
Eater. I was a Slytherin. I have never been a nice person. Or a brave one, or a
loyal one. I wasn't good enough at eleven, and I sure as hell wasn't good
enough for the next five and a half years. Even when we got together it wasn't
because of some great appreciation for our respective qualities, it wasn't
because we liked each other, quite the opposite."

"And
now? Don't things change?"

"They
seem to. But we never outright sat down and figured these things out. I didn't
even see they were there until now, myself. We talked about sex, love, hiding
what was happening from his enemies, about how who I am could endanger us, from
the outside, not about how it can ruin things from inside of me. The closest we
got to that discussion would be when we talked about me having to get along
with his friends."

"Do
you get along with them?"

"Yes,
we've been on friendly terms for a while now, you could even consider us
friends."

"You
like them?"

"Sure,
why not. They are good people. But it's not like I have a choice in the matter.
There are things that come with being with Harry Potter."

"Such
as?"

"His
friends, for one. He's very loyal. But many other things as well. He stands for
all that is good and pure in the world. He is the living proof that the good
will triumph. He hates it when people just see him in these terms, but he is
still that. I don't know how he managed to stay so pure considering what he has
been through, but while he isn't innocent he is truly good. And there is no way
around it. I think I figured what I got into at some point, and that if we were
to stay together, I would have to change certain things. Mend my Slytherin
ways, so to speak."

"And
you did."

"I
did. Believe me, you wouldn't have liked me before. I was obnoxious."

"How
so?"

"Well,
for example, last night, when I had that little breakdown, I really wanted to
speak with you. But it was late at night, and I didn't think it would be right
to bother you like that."

"Thank
you."

"Before,
the consideration wouldn't have even crossed my mind. And I'm much more polite
now. Things like that. I don't think that people are beneath me now, and I
don't act so. I'm all nice and cuddly now."

"Like
a kneasel?"

"Yes."
He chuckled.

"And
you like being a kneasel?"

Draco
was stumped for a moment. "I'm not exactly a kneasel."

"No,
you're right. For a second the description just reminded me of one. But there
is something there that welcomes further discussion. I think we will return to
it later. Tea?"

"Yes,
thank you."

"�So,
would you say that you are a better person now?"

"Yes,
some of the changes I've made were necessary, unless I planned to inherit all
of my father's legacy."

"And
other changes? Like Harry's friends?"

"As
I said, I knew at some point what I got into. There is no Harry without his
friends. But he also gets along with my friend � Blaise. Harry's being fair in
this. What else can he be, he's Harry Potter."

"Do
you think he's being fair because he's Harry Potter or because he loves
you?"

"Because
he is Harry Potter in a relationship. He does the right thing for the one he's
with. It could be someone else in my place and he would still make the effort. Getting
into my place isn't easy, but once you're there, it's all covered."

"Is
that a bad thing?"

"No.
It's a good thing, and he's a good person, and would do anything for me � out
of the big things. But it's so�"

"So
what?"

"So�
pointless. I know in my mind that it isn't, not really, he would give his life
for me, I don't know anyone else that would. But he would give his life for so
many people. That's just who he is. It doesn't mean anything special about me.
And I do wonder if I will ever be able to say that he would do something for me
because he selfishly wants me. I get his attention, his patience, his love, but
so do enough other people. Am I special to him, though?"

"What
do you think?"

"There
are things which make me think that I am � he told me about his relatives and
childhood, I was the one to pick up the pieces when he would break down. But
then, Hermione and Ron know most of it as well. And again, did he tell me these
things because I'm me, or because it's the thing to do when getting into a
serious relationship?"

"But
he chose to get into a serious relationship with you."

"Remember
how we got together? It was almost an accident, and once we got going, I don't
think his morals would let him not be in love with me."

"What
would be enough proof that it's about loving you and not about being Harry
Potter?"

"I
have no idea. Is there a way to really test it?"

"You
seem to be trying to already."

"But
it isn't working. The way things are, he won't be able to show it. And I'll
just drive us apart."

"Very
true. But if it's not the way to test him, perhaps you should stop doing it and
look for other � more productive and less destructive ways to do it?"

"I
should be. You're right."

"Let
me ask this, when you said you were being nice and considerate to people now,
wouldn't you say that there is one prominent exception to that rule?"

"Harry."

"Yes.
The one person for whom you changed doesn't get to reap the benefits of the new
you."

"That's�
true. Well, he gets some of the benefits. Especially before. I do listen to
him, and I try to be considerate. It just doesn't� work well anymore."

"But
right now who would you say gets the better treatment from you � Harry, his
friends, your friends, me, anyone else?"

"Okay,
not Harry."

"You
think you can change that?"

"I'll
do what I can."

"Okay.
Now, before you go, let us recap."

"Lets."

"You
were testing your relationship, your partner and yourself. The main issue
behind the test is that you are unsure about whether you're special for your
partner. True?"

"Yes."

"The
testing isn't affective because there is no way it can prove to you that you
are special. It is also destructive."

"Yes."

"So,
you will try to cease that kind of unhelpful testing."

"Yes."

"When
will Mr. Potter return from his trip?"

"This
afternoon."

"I
think you should choose some time in the next couple of days and discuss this.
Make sure he understands it's a serious conversation, and don't let it slip
into another fight. Don't let him get defensive and don't go there yourself.
Tell him about the things that are bothering you and causing you to doubt him.
Take these things into the open. See what he has to say, and what he feels
about what is going on with you."

"I
will."

"Now,
as for the reason of the tests, I think we need to discuss it further. You have
made significant changes in your personality in order to be with your partner.
But that is never a good enough reason for a change, and it didn't give you the
security in your relationship that you were aiming for with your changes. That
we will leave for the next session. Now, did you get any pampering this
weekend?"

"Oh,
yes. I did. It was lovely."

"Good.
Have a good week Draco."

"You
too, Frank. Thank you."

"You're
welcome."

------------------------------------

You
know I heard something today on the TV that I think has a lot to do with this
story:

"I don't trust anyone who hasn't had at least one break down in their
life. Because at some point in growing up everything you were taught about your
world must fall apart. 'Love conquers everything'; 'Good things happen to good
people, and bad things happen to bad people'; and things like that. Because you
have to learn that life isn't fair." (Channel "E",
"Revealed � Susan Sarandon" - freestyle quotation) That doesn't mean
that love won't conquer things this time, but it is clearly not enough to just
love � you need to be ready to work, re-evaluate, and change.

As
always, thank you to all of the people who are still reading this story in
spite of my infrequent updates, and if you can still find it in your hearts to
do so � review, and tell me what you think of how the story and Draco are
doing.
- 5
- 6
- 7
You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.
Report Story

Freud and his Friends