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The Reluctant Highlander	By : Tigerrr Category: Harry Potter > Het - Male/Female > Snape/Hermione Views: 15152 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 5
- 6
- 7
*****DISCLAIMER*****Not mine!!!

A/N: thanks for the reviews�this chapter isn�t as long as I
wanted it to be, but I didn�t have a lot of time to write it when I was at work
(I actually had to be doing my job today, lol) My co-workers think
I�m nuts cuz I�ll just be going along and suddenly
starting to laugh as I think of something I need to put into the story. I�m still working on the next chapter of �D.E.D.T.�
but hope to have it posted by tomorrow at the earliest, but Tuesday at the
latest�my muse needs shock treatment right now.

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Hermione opened her eyes as the maid hauled open the curtains
and she burrowed back underneath the covers.
�Go away,� she groaned. In her
fantasies, she always got to sleep in as late as she liked! The maid stalked over and yanked the covers
neatly off of her.

�Ye wouldna be wantin� to lie abed all day, now would ye?�
she trilled sweetly, the venom oozing through her tone like honey through a sieve. Hermione blinked in astonishment � what was
this? Then she recognized the maid as
one of those mooning over Professor Snape the previous evening. This morning the tart was laced up in the
tightest corset she�d ever seen, and was amazed that the maid (the silly slut)
could actually draw breath to spew her poison.
Hermione resolved to have a talk with the MacKeltars about this � the
hussy was even dressed in Slytherin colors!

She slouched her way down to breakfast and found only the
servants awake � obviously the maids had tried to get her back for being in
�Laird Raven�s� bath chamber. That
didn�t make any sense at all when she thought about it; for all she knew, the
Potions Master had already given each of them a turn. Not-so-greasy bastard. And that was just another thing to annoy her
� a perfectly good insult, ruined because of its fictitiousness. Yawning over her coffee, she waited for Gwen
and Chloe to appear with their husbands � she didn�t much care to see Laird
Jackass. Who, of course, just had to enter the hall at that exact
moment. Speak of the devil and he shall appear, she thought grumpily. From
somewhere � he probably buggered someone for them � he had acquired leather trousers
and a linen shirt that was strategically unlaced to offer all women present a
nice view of his chest. Hermione
thought, a bit uncharitably, that he could use that in battle, too�the sun
bouncing off that pale skin would be sure to blind someone. �Where�s your skirt, sir?� she called snidely.

He frowned at her.
�Don�t patronize me, Miss Granger � I don�t want to be here any more
than�but I suppose you love it here, with all the barbarians and no running
water,� he said loftily, sailing by with his entourage following like a gaggle
of geese. Big-breasted geese. She scowled as he was served much better
breakfast fare than what she was given � the maids clustered around him
stroking his hair and kneading his shoulders stared at her, as if daring her to
make a fuss about it.

She noticed that he had trimmed his beard and the ends of
his long hair, so that it fell in a blue-black sheet down his back and made her
long to run her fingers through it, much like the idiot maids currently doing
so. She jumped to her feet, suddenly annoyed beyond reason. �Don�t you lot have work to do? Go clean something and quit acting like a traveling
bordello! He can eat just fine by
himself, I have seen it happen on more than one occasion,� she ordered,
unaccountably angry. He gave her a look
that made her long to drip some candle wax on his upper lip and yank the
moustache right off of his face. Their
hosts came in right as Snape reminded her that he was still her professor and
had better moderate her shrewishness if she wanted her House to have any points
left. She responded with a rude hand
gesture and he pointed two fingers, on the verge of sending a hex barreling
down the table towards her.

�Good morning, Laird Raven, Lady Granger,� Drustan broke in
hastily. Snape mouthed, �Lady?�
at her with raised brows, and she very badly wanted to use Levicorpus on the impossible man. He smirked and she stomped a slippered foot
at his intrusion of her mind, thinking very, very hard of him nude, but with a
considerably smaller penis than with what he was actually equipped, lifting an
eyebrow right back at him. The black
scowl she received made her laugh aloud.

************************************************************************

Severus glowered at the endlessly irritating witch as she
giggled at him. He thought it extremely
interesting that she had become jealous of his �following,� and tried not to
envision her in his bathtub again � the image had tormented him continuously
throughout the night. The two Druids renewed
their request to learn the lightening spell, offering him a chance to learn
what they called Voice, explaining that the user could make almost anyone obey
him. After a quick demonstration on one
of his hangers-on, he agreed to the exchange and didn�t take long to master the
trick and teach the Druids what they wanted to know in turn. Hermione was shifting in her seat most
satisfactorily, obviously worrying about him trying his new �talent� on her�he
wondered idly what he�d make her do.

A servant came in the hall with a large pink envelope
encrusted with garish yellow lace and handed it to Hermione. Opening it, she exclaimed in apparent delight
and announced that Sir Gilderoy had asked to accompany her on a picnic, adding
that she would of course accept. Severus� eyes narrowed. Gilderoy Lockhart? Hermione was actually going off with him
somewhere? A strange sensation kindled
in his stomach, along with the usual sense of indignation that Lockhart�s name
managed to instill in him. As Hermione
(when had he started to think of her in terms of her first name?) walked out,
she managed to put a sway in her step that drew his eyes � he was really going
to have a long talk with the mutinous things � although he tried to concentrate
on his food. He discovered that he
wasn�t hungry after all and pushed the plate away, feeling sick. Making his excuses to his hosts and not
noticing the knowing look in their eyes, he wandered to the battlements to get
a look at the ridiculous fop.

Why was he dressed in armor?
He decided to go down to meet them�after all, he was the only one who
could protect Hermione from that idiot.

*****

Gilderoy Lockhart had certainly outdone himself this time,
thought Hermione as she looked at him.
He was actually wearing pink armor with lurid yellow padding; he matched
the invitation exactly�and was that glitter
in his overly curled hair? He tossed his
head, thinking it a swoon-worthy gesture and sure enough, it was glitter,
raining down onto his shoulders like shiny yellow dandruff flakes. �My lady!� he cried loudly, clapping hands to
chest and almost over-balancing himself.
Hermione thought it rather looked like a tin can doing a jig as he
jerked wildly to regain his balance. If
tin cans came in the color pink.

She was relieved that he had decided to come on foot today;
she didn�t fancy having to hang onto him while he did all manner of things
guaranteed to make the horse bolt. �Shall
we go, then?� she asked hurriedly as she caught sight of a familiar figure
approaching them. He smiled widely at
her and offered her his arm which she took and hissed at him to walk faster.

�Oh, in a hurry are we? Well, can�t say as I blame you � but
this is brand new armor, you know, and the absolute dickens to remove quickly,�
he confided loudly. �But I�m sure I
could speed it up if you are so anxious. I put in a special request for a �flap,�
if you know what I mean.� He winked at
her. She thought she would lose her
breakfast.

Snape was nowhere to be seen now, and she stopped dragging
Lockhart into the woods. Sitting down on
a fallen log, she peered through the trees at the small loch a small distance
away and failed to register the sounds of armor being removed until it was too
late and Sir Gilderoy leaped on her like a niffler set loose in Gringotts. She gasped in surprise and got a mouthful of
glitter, beating him about the head and shoulders with a stick that was lying
nearby. �GET OFF ME!� She screamed angrily. He took this as encouragement and began to
hump her leg with gusto before he was lifted from atop her, his eyes squeezed
tightly shut and hips still in motion.
She opened her eyes and dragged the back of her hand across her face to
wipe away where he had been licking her zestfully. Where was�?

Ah, just there�having the stuffing beat out of him by an
extremely angry Slytherin. Severus� hair
flew behind him as he delivered a flurry of kicks and punches to the balled-up
and howling Gilderoy Lockhart. �Stop it,
Severus!� she yelled, running over and totally oblivious to the fact that she
had just used his first name. He drew
back a foot and let it slam into Lockhart�s ribs a final time before setting
his hands to his hips and looking at her.

�Why in Merlin�s name are you defending him? I saw what I walked in on,� he said hotly,
his long hair now wild and tangled. She
walked up, not replying, and placed her hands on his heaving chest�jealousy
certainly seemed to agree with him.
Raven-colored silk spilled around her upturned face as he bent his head
to look down at her with his dark eyes, eyes that looked right through her, saw
every secret� Swallowing hard, she
raised herself up onto her toes as he began to lean down to her. Their lips met and it felt as though an
electrical current passed through her, making her throw her arms around his
neck and deepen the kiss � if anyone had ever told her that the Potions Master
was such an excellent kisser, she would have laughed and called them a
liar. As they separated for air, they
stared at each other, stunned. Did we just�? Ah, shit, yes we did,
Hermione thought frantically and was seized by the urge to repeat the
experience.

They were brought back to their senses by the sound of Sir
Gilderoy running as fast as he could in the other direction. �Come back here,� Laird Raven snarled, and
was off like a shot in pursuit. Hermione
collapsed against the trunk of a large oak, unable to wrap her mind around the
fact that she�d just snogged her teacher.
And a lovely snog it had been.
She heard a loud splash and yelping, turning towards the loch to see
flailing arms and kicking legs belonging to Lockhart as Severus attempted to drown
him.

�HALP! Murder!� Sir Gilderoy yodeled.

�Let�s see if Hermione�s fantasy includes Nessie, shall we?� came the Potions
Master�s answering yell. She wandered
down to the water line to watch, wishing she had some popcorn handy. A most peculiar thing was happening � it was
if everything was in slow-motion!
Gilderoy was glubbing and gargling in slow-motion, and Severus was�magnificent! It was like a scene out of some movie; his wet
hair flying through the air to plaster itself on his muscled chest (where had
his shirt gone?) and she could have sworn he just winked sexily at her. His leather �trews� were molded on his
powerful long legs and he was absolutely gorgeous. There even seemed to be a swell of music
coming from somewhere!

It stopped suddenly and Sir Gilderoy was left floundering in
two feet of water complaining that he couldn�t swim, while Severus stood
stock-still, eyes narrowed. �Did you
just do something? Where�s my
shirt? And what was that music?� he
demanded suspiciously.

*****

Adam Black ticked off yet more little boxes. �Swelling music, check. Slow-motion, check. Shirt-disappearing with special hair-flipping
action and an extra wink, check. Damsel in distress, check. Buxom-maid jealousy
issue, check. And unexpected kiss, definitely check!�
He smiled happily. Perhaps this
would turn out all right, after all.
There should be an after-hours visit in no time, if they kept this up!

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The Reluctant Highlander