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Were the Soil Not So Unforgiving My Love	By : Lunatichero Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Harry/Draco Views: 3599 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 5
- 6
Were the Soil Not So Unforgiving My Love

Chapter 5:When the Dark Night Goes Silently

By Lunatic with a Hero Complex

�Give it to me!�

�I don�t think you actually deserve this.�

�Come on, I bought it fair and square.�

�Fine, take your �property.��

�Yes! Boardwalk!�

Draco huffed, disgruntled, �I deeply doubt that this has any therapeutic value, Potter.�

He knew he was trying to be a more sensitive ear for his patient, but Draco did not like to lose, especially at Muggle children�s games. He watched as Harry joyfully put his little blue card in the correct spot on his side of the infuriating little square board.
As he watched, Harry looked up, and the face, so lacking in its usual shadow, so childishly pleased at his own accomplishments, made Draco catch and he almost missed the retort.

�Well, talking only takes up half of my mind, so its either this, or I go back to office folk art.�

Harry blissfully went back to organizing his imaginary fortune and there was a comfortable moment of silence.

Wincing internally, Draco broke it, �You know, Harry, despite that rousing explanation, you haven�t actually been talking really.�

Seeing the mouth opening to retort, he broke him off, �About what you�re supposed to be talking about anyway. I will concede, you have been more than vocal on your opinions of the picks for the Cup, your thoughts on whether the rich should bother marrying for money, your hatred of pickles, your love of treacle tart, and your deep understanding of the misery of a dog�s life. However, you�ve yet to touch on what it is exactly, that made you go down so fast during our conversation a few weeks ago.�

Despite his new found respect for Potter�s psyche, he was satisfied to see the darkening blush of embarrassment. The Monopoly war forgotten, Harry subconsciously drew his legs into the arm chair with him, and leaned his chin against his knees.

Draco was prepared for a short time of leaning forward to hear a timid voice explain to him what else, besides his imminent, and apparently repetitive, death was torturing his inner carpenter. Instead, Harry�s head came off of its perch, leaving the knees alone in their place, and Draco caught the light in them and knew, just fucking knew, that right then he was not getting the Golden Boy Glow, but the sight of sunlight on steel in the spine of a warrior.

He both hated and loved that sight.

Warriors were strong, were dependable, fighters. They would get out of things and keep coming back.

Warriors were also constantly in danger. Warriors often did not return from their travels.

Draco wanted Harry to return.

He definitely could not think on that right now.

Besides, Harry was speaking.

�Though I definitely do not want it to be common knowledge, what Hermione told you about the end of the war is not my most guarded secret. Not even my best friends know it really, well at least more than the PG 13 version.�

Far from his former attitude of �want to know it all�, Draco now understood the nature of knowledge in the Potter universe, and it generally turned out that what he had been so eager to know was actually something he would�ve preferred leaving in the great vast void of the unknown.

Despite this, he grit his teeth, and found some desire for knowledge, �I�ve sworn not to use what you tell me against you, and I�ve promised not to tell it to any other person. If you don�t tell me, and you won�t tell your friends, then, like I�ve said many times in the past few days, this just won�t help at all.�

Draco was glad to see the steel rust a little. Again, Harry�s knee found his chin, and the two rested together for a moment.

Potter was still disgustingly thin. Draco wasn�t sure if he�d ever get back to his original weight. He hoped he did. He found himself missing the Quidditch body he remembered.

Because it was healthier, of course.

He moved his inspection on to the hair, cleaner, more lively than it had been in weeks. It was once again attempting its escape from Harry�s head. The sight made him glad.

He was startled out of his ruminations by the sound of Harry�s voice, steady, but smaller somehow. Not weaker, just�less there.

�I�ve always been small you know, even when I was at the top of my physical condition during the war, I was smaller than most of the other guys my age.�

He stopped and appeared to have a struggle internally, breaking some personal barriers before proceeding.

�But I suppose when you live in a four by six foot space for eleven years and attempt to survive on whatever you can safely burn while you�re cooking dinner, your development is going to be stunted.�

Draco most definitely did not like where this conversation was going. He did not like it because he couldn�t quite comprehend exactly what Harry was saying. His mind would almost get the implication, and then would shy away like a frightened horse, and leave him just nearly clueless.

It must have showed on his face, because Harry let out an exasperated chuckle, and lent his forehead once more against his knee. His voice carried from its muffled position, �My relatives hated magic, Draco, and as the wizarding world was unavailable to account for its mistakes, I was used as its surrogate whipping boy.�

It felt as though Draco�s mind was finally grasping what he was supposed to be understanding, but he still refused to completely believe anything without knowing what was meant, �What�?�

Harry lifted his head, and Draco did not like how cold his face had gone, �My aunt and uncle hated me, so they starved me, made me sleep in a cupboard, and worked me like a house elf. My cousin had no thoughts of his own, not until we met for the last time anyway, and generally found it best to hate me in turn. I did not have friends, I did not know human contact, and I did not know I was a wizard until my eleventh birthday. Is that quite clear enough?�

Draco found that, yes, that was just clear enough.

Despite what he had heard about Harry Potter in the past few weeks since he�d taken on his case, Draco found that he�d still been thinking of him as a pampered hero in the back of his mind.

The residual image of the Boy Who Lived, that was used to supply his demonstrative diagrams in every day life, was arrogant, and spoiled, and altogether nothing, he now knew, like the actual person.

He did his best to not let that change appear on his face. It was best if Harry was of the opinion that Draco had already been fully on his side before the confession.

�You know, suddenly, I really don�t feel like Monopoly. I think I�m going to go to my study. We can talk later.�

Draco did not like the distant quality of that voice. It was as though Potter was already fading away, soon to be left with just Harry, a creature created of research and madness.

Not really thinking before hand, he just reached out and grabbed Potter�s wrist as he rose to go, �After all of the trouble you went through to get me to play this blasted game, you�re just going to leave in the middle? I don�t think so Potter.�

He let a wry smirk twist his mouth, and hoped that it seemed real enough to convince Potter.

At first, he just looked at Draco�s hand on his wrist as if it were something he�d never seen before. After a moment of silence, his features opened and spiraled out in to something akin to mischievousness, �You just don�t want me to quit while you�re losing. Don�t try to pin this on me.�

He turned slowly, the smirk taking root and growing into a light of battle, and Draco breathed an internal sigh of relief.

If Potter had gone to that study, it would have felt like a failure.

Draco was not into failure.

***********

Harry wasn�t sure how Draco had done it, but he knew that he was grateful. He�d not really had control when he got up to go to the study. Whatever it was that had kept him in there in the first place actually pulled him towards it. Which meant that there was a good chance that they were dealing with something more serious than they had believed. That, paired with Harry�s magic attempting to pull Draco down into his madness, was turning into a story that had not yet revealed its plot.

He sat back down in front of the board, and returned to the conversation, uncomfortable with the fact that he could still feel Draco�s hand on his wrist as a band of blazing warmth.

****************

Harry was looking better every day. There were mornings when Draco came over and Harry was glazed in the study, sometimes not even reading just staring.

However, the frequency of Draco�s visits made sure that the bouts of madness did not go on long enough to debilitate him. As a result, Harry was constantly improving in health.

The dark spot was that they still had not figured out why Harry�s madness had taken on a separate sentience. It had not reached the intensity that it had the day it had tried to bring down Draco, but it still showed through at odd moments, pulling on Harry, tugging him in the worst direction at his worst moments. Nor had they figured out a way to help heal Harry from his current symptoms, never mind about the ones that might come.

Despite how well Harry was doing, it was fairly obvious that this was just a stop gap sort of treatment. Draco could not spend the rest of his life coming to visit Harry daily. Though they were forming a friendship, it was not something that made any sort of rational sense. Harry realized this. Draco realized this. That did not make it any easier to figure out anything about Harry�s problem.

The day that they had been looking for, the day that made the difference, was the day Draco tried to organize a field trip.

He was looking better, stronger, but Harry was still frightfully pale. Draco believed that another good thing in Harry�s life right now would be sunshine. Lots of sunshine. So, he�d decided to take Harry to the park in a desperate bid for a double achievement of sunshine acquired while making better childhood memories.

He wasn�t sure how to help a man with a neglected childhood. So he was being generic, hoping he would be able to narrow it down more specifically later. It was the best he could do on short notice. Not that there really ever was any other kind of notice with Potter.

His erstwhile patient looked excited, but nervous. Draco supposed he could see why. Harry hadn�t been in a public place for nearly a month. The man that was Harry Potter would be lonely for both human company and the beauty of the wizarding world. The patient that was just Harry would feel crowded and judged.

Harry had put on jeans and a dark green t-shirt with a grey jumper, so at least he hadn�t forgotten how to dress himself in something other than pajamas. He was leaning against the kitchen counter, picking at the hem of his shirt and refusing to raise his eyes, so Draco just moved around him, getting things in order, packing a lunch from the recently restored pantry and casting the appropriate cooling or heating charms.

When he could dawdle no longer, he turned to Potter, �Are you ready to go?�

No words, just a nod.

Draco huffed, �Listen Potter, I�m not a warden, if you don�t want to go out, tell me and we will call it off and wait for a day when you feel more comfortable with it. The last thing I want to do is make you extremely nervous in a public place, when you spontaneously suffer from bouts of insanity.�

What Draco expected was a denial, or a confirmation of his willingness to get out. What Draco did not expect was for Harry to raise his head with a wide eyed sort of look on his face and then burst into a spontaneous cacophony of laughter. Potter looked surprised at his own actions, but he just kept laughing, holding his sides and sliding down the counter.

Draco just stood there, his arm still vaguely outstretched.

Harry kept trying to explain, �Bouts�(ha ha ha) of insanity�(ha ha ha) in public�(ha ha ha) you could (ha) get me a leash! ( ha ha ha)�

Finally, the laughter died down and Potter just sat slumped weakly but happily against the counter.

Draco let his arm lower and felt a smile pull at his mouth, it was a nervous smile, like it wasn�t sure it should be out at this time of day.

�Are you quite finished?�

Potter rolled his head to look up at him, and his face was just so undeniably content that Draco felt glad. �Yes, I think I�m good and laughed out.�

He got up and started picking up the hamper and blanket, when Draco didn�t immediately move, he turned back to him, �Are you coming?�

Draco just nodded.

**********

Their day at the park was going well. Potter had responded beautifully to all of the sunshine and greenery. It was Summer and everything was at its most charming. They�d brought a broom and it was a wizarding park, so Harry had gone flying.

As always, Draco had to admit, if only to himself, that watching Harry Potter on a broom was one of the most graceful and right things that he had ever seen. Even if Potter�s mind was slowly breaking down, he still was fearless and perfect in the sky. Every dive and roll was both terrifying and uplifting.

After that, the rest of the day had been golden. Not a single episode had even dared to try and surface.

It was after their late-ish picnic lunch, that the real breakthrough occurred.

They had glamored Harry�s scar and hair, hoping that a day of anonymity would be more therapeutic. Draco was sitting, sipping his pumpkin juice and watching Potter put away more food, when he saw, out of the corner of his eye, the basic outline of a man, behind a tree about 20 yards away. He couldn�t see clearly from this angle, but the hairs on the back of his neck said that the man was staring in their direction.

Casually, Draco half lidded his eyes and did a twisting stretch to pop the kinks out of his back. As he�d thought, the figure darted back behind the tree when Draco even slightly turned in his direction.

Having acquired the only real knowledge he thought they could reasonably gain for right now, Draco turned back to Potter.

He froze.

Potter was still joyfully munching on a sandwich, but his eyes were glacial. He wasn�t upset with Draco, he could tell that, but those eyes, they were dangerous. Harry kept smiling and leaned forward as if he wanted to tell Draco a really good joke, �He�s been watching us since we got here. I don�t know him, but he�s not a real professional sort of fellow. Every time I even slightly move my eyes in his direction, he dives like a base runner to get out of my sightline. That�s more likely to draw attention then if he just casually pretended to be out playing."

Draco was once again, forcefully reminded that the man he was treating was a war hero; one of the strongest wizards of his time, and the defeater of the possibly most evil wizard that the world had ever seen. He may be at a definite low point in his mental health, but this was not a wizard that went silently into the dark night.

He somehow kept forgetting. He wasn�t sure why.

Draco leaned in to reciprocate, laughing like the imaginary joke was particularly amusing, �Why haven�t you said anything?� Here, Harry looked a little embarrassed. He ducked his head, which fit in with the image of nonchalance they were going for, but was still genuine, then he mumble, �I wanted to see if you would notice on your own. I just know I always prefer it when I learn to notice things like that on my own.�

Draco just leaned back into a regular sitting position, still grinning slightly for appearances�mostly, �Oh.�

Harry smiled sheepishly and then absently turned back to eating his sandwich.

Draco found it endearing, but he did notice, that despite his embarrassment, Harry�s eyes were always tracking the lone observer, discreetly of course.

*********

It was near the end of the day. They�d attempted to go on normally despite their spectator and were succeeding spectacularly. Harry and Draco had started a rousing tournament of Exploding Snap, setting up a little ward so none of the grass would catch fire.

Draco was setting down his card when he saw panic light up in Potter�s eyes, he heard the words, �Shit, his wand!� Before the stack of cards did their job and exploded in minor. Just enough noise and distraction for Draco to turn away for a second. When he turned back to Potter he saw a green glow fading into his skin and even worse, Harry�s eyes were two shades too dark, they were forest green. And his game partner was silent, staring.

Draco noticed that it had gotten cloudy at some point.

He shook Harry�s shoulder, hoping to snap him out of it.

Immediately Potter was mumbling, �No, please, no no no no, not the green, I�m sorry I�m so sorry, I thought it was over, I didn�t know please just make it stop, I have to make it stop. So green so green so green��

Draco felt like crying, he shook Harry harder, hoping he could break the madness inside of him, �Please, come on Harry, just snap out of it!�

As Draco felt his tears start to overcome him, it started to rain.
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Were the Soil Not So Unforgiving My Love