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Hephaestus	By : Lomonaaeren Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Harry/Draco Views: 16287 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter; that belongs to J. K. Rowling. I am making no money from this fic.

Chapter List
- 5
- 6
- 7
Thank you again for all the reviews!

Chapter Six�Feats of
Might and Will

�� Dwarves�
magical fire�cooked the nerves of the body�meant for beating metal�never meant
to touch a human��

�� Those were
the words that exploded past Draco�s ears like fireworks as he sat at his son�s
bedside and stared down at Scorpius. When he could, he held his son�s uninjured
left hand. Once he had reached across to hold the right one, but the shiny and
slimy skin of the fused fingers made him drop it again and rub his own fingers
together.

�� Don�t
think we can�no, there�s a spell that we can try�really?�yes, read it about it
once in Crabtree��

�� The words
sometimes burst on his mind like fireworks, too, and more than once he was on
the point of jerking his head up and asking one of the Healers who swirled
around him if they were true, if there was nothing that could be done for
Scorpius. But he always gave up again and went back to looking at his son,
imagining all the things that he wouldn�t be able to do in the future, all the
adaptations that Draco himself would have to make.

�� The Healers
hadn�t yet disturbed the sleep the elves had put him into; they seemed to be
afraid to. That didn�t augur good things. Perhaps he would never be able to use
the hand again, but, knowing the Malfoy family�s reputation for perfection and
beauty, the Healers were afraid to tell Draco so. Perhaps he would never be
able to lift his head.

�� Perhaps his
face would always be marred, and Scorpius would even come to accept that, and
never remember that once he had looked normal.

�� Draco heard
himself snarling from a distance. No. He could not accept that. He would enable Scorpius to look normal again.

�� But beautiful? Could he enable that?

�� He didn�t
know. The certainty of his life had been shattered the way that a tsunami
sweeping into Morningswood would have shattered the walls and left the stones
sinking. Draco was sinking himself. He had to make decisions, he had to prepare
himself for the worst and think about how he could help Scorpius, but he didn�t
know how.

�� He had
never had to face something like this. All his life, he had been able to run
away from the pressing, insistent truths of the world when they came too ugly.
After the war, he and his family had withdrawn into Malfoy Manor for a time and
lived only on food prepared by their house-elves�and thus verifiably without
poison�and exercised only in their close and tightly-warded
gardens. When he had seen the horror and ruin Harry�s face had become, he had
run away, and he had managed to find Astoria in the next month. He had had a
slight fear that their child might be born ugly, because some of the Greengrass
relatives were cow-faced, but even that had not come to pass.

�� Draco had
begun to believe that fortune favored him, and close contact with bad luck
meant he wouldn�t catch it.

�� But he
would have given everything for this particular luck to have fallen on and
infected him, instead of Scorpius.

�� He was
leaning forwards, not sure whether he was going to lie down on the bed with
Scorpius or faint, when an arm curved around his shoulders and a voice
whispered to him, �It�s all right, I�m here, it�s��

�� Draco
turned towards Harry, seized him, buried his face in the nearest available
shoulder, and wept.

*

�� Harry had
finally managed to soothe Draco to sleep, and now he sat in a chair at the side
of Scorpius�s bed. The Healers had objected, at first, about someone who wasn�t
related to the patient spending the night in the room, and had wanted even to
remove Draco, but Harry had lifted his head and glared at them. The sight of his face made them shut up and then scurry to offer
every possible courtesy to Harry Potter.

�� That�s another thing Ginny taught me, Harry
thought, resting his wrinkled chin on top of Draco�s hair. To use my name when I have to, to win what privacy I can and wield the
power to preserve the privacy of others.

�� The
protective distraction fell away, and Harry had to face the thoughts he�d been
avoiding since Draco came through the Floo into Ron and Hermione�s house.

�� Scorpius
was scarred, perhaps irreparably. Draco would need
help to recover from that, and to ensure that he didn�t reject his son. And
Scorpius would need help learning how to live in a world that worshipped
beauty, if not as strongly as Draco did, and tried to reject anyone who looked
different.

�� Harry was
the best candidate for teaching him that, perhaps the only one with the power
to do so who would want to do it.

�� So he would
work to help people. That wasn�t so different from what he�d done during the
war or since, though most of the time the people he was trying to help with
metal-dancing were Muggles rather than wizards. The sigils might protect
wizarding estates, but the long-term effect of that was less brain damage among
Muggles. And there had been a time�just yesterday�when Harry was content with
that, and required no more concrete reward than the money his employers paid
him, which he mostly used for paying the dwarves and buying new materials to make
more protective patterns.

�� Now,
though, he felt as strong a reluctance to take up Draco and Scorpius�s cause as
he felt a compulsion to do so.

�� And why?

�� Because there would be nothing just for him in it. Even if
Draco learned to love him again, it would be because of obligation, and not on
the noble and high-minded footing Harry had been dreaming of earlier that
night. Of course Harry wouldn�t talk to Draco about having to accept that maybe no cure for Harry�s scars existed. Of
course Harry wouldn�t have the luxury of walking away from him if he refused to
accept that.

�� He was
chained by compassion and necessity, and he could foresee times when he would
hate his new life.

�� Harry
closed his eyes wearily and rubbed his face with his free hand, the one that
wasn�t tucked around Draco�s shoulders and under his chin. He was thinking
nonsense. He shouldn�t be so selfish. He should rejoice in the chance to be
around Draco, to hold him like this, without the other man flinching away from
him automatically.

�� But the
feelings remained, churning into a small chunk of ice in the back of his mind. He
was dissatisfied with what had happened to Scorpius�and horrified, and
unbearably sad�because of what it would mean for him.

�� He would
bear it because he had to. He would bear it because both Scorpius and Draco
would need him, and Harry would dare and do anything to keep Draco�s
relationship with his son from souring the way that Draco�s relationship with
him had. But the dream he had fashioned in his bed that night was dead, and the
plea he had shaped in his mind before coming to hospital futile. He would never
have a chance at a true and unfettered bond with Draco; he would never have
someone to be strong for him.

*

�� Draco
opened his eyes and sat up slowly. He was confused. For long hours, he thought,
hours when he had drifted in and out of consciousness, he had sat close to a
strong body that wrapped its warmth around him. And now that warmth had been
stripped from him, and he sat alone and cold in a chair next to Scorpius�s bed.

�� Daddy?�

�� Scorpius
was awake.

�� Draco
reached out and gripped both his son�s hands this time, his disgust at the
feeling of burned skin overcome by the thought that Scorpius needed him.
Scorpius blinked at him and turned his head fretfully from side to side, as if
looking for his familiar bed and the house-elves of Morningswood. Then he
focused on Draco again and said, �Daddy, I�m hurt.�

�� I know.�
Draco swallowed through a throat that felt clogged with sand. �But we�ll try to
heal you, Scorpius, I promise.�

�� Try?�
Scorpius�s brow had bent, across the burn and the roasted part of his face, as
though he had no idea what the words meant. Draco swallowed again. He
could�sometimes�look at the right half of Scorpius�s face now, and the magical
fire had made it a mask of charred bone, hanging black strips, and what looked
like a cauldron of ashes and fat. It looked like Harry�s face, in fact, except
that Harry�s face was sharper and projected more; Scorpius�s was bowl-shaped,
the destruction contained.

�� They don�t
know if they can heal it.� Draco wondered if he should speak more tender words,
but Scorpius had been intelligent enough to injure himself in the magical fire
(that was Draco�s fault, too, if distantly). �They said that they�ll try, but
they��

�� They know
they can heal his neck.�

�� Draco spun
around, his heart leaping in a great bound of sudden joy. �Harry stood in the doorway of the room. He
nodded to Draco and then focused on Scorpius, coming over to the bed and
kneeling down. He showed no astonishment or anger or disgust at being so close
to such a ruined face, Draco marveled. Of course, maybe looking at his own in
the mirror had given him practice, but still. It was more than Draco himself
could have done.

�� Your neck
was more distant from the fire,� Harry told Scorpius in a soft, clear tone that
had not a trace of pity in it, �because you were bending down and gripping an
ember in your hand, and so your face and your hand came in more direct contact
with it. They know that you�ll hold your head up again.�

�� Scorpius lay
still, considering that. Then he said, �I want a mirror.� His words slurred a
little at the end, and he put out his tongue to probe curiously at the split
and blackened remnant of the right corner of his upper lip.

�� No!� Draco
said sharply. God knew what would happen if his son saw what he looked like
right at the moment. Harry could have borne it�he was an older man and a hero�but
Scorpius was too young.

�� I want
one,� Scorpius insisted. �I have to see what I look like.�

�� But why?� Draco bent closer to his son, raising one hand to
touch his face. But his fingers halted a few inches short of Scorpius�s cheek.
He tried to force himself to move closer, and physically couldn�t. �It�s not
pleasant. Trust your Father when he says that and think about something else
for right now.�

�� I brought
a pain potion,� said Harry. �You were hurting, I think you said.�

�� Draco
flushed, angry with himself for forgetting about that. Harry put a hand behind
Scorpius�s head and supported him so that he could sit up enough to drink the
potion. Draco watched anxiously as he gulped it. At least he appeared able to
swallow without difficulty; it seemed that the magic must have affected mostly
the ability of his neck to support his head, instead of his throat.

�� And then
Harry conjured a mirror and held it up so that Scorpius could see his face in
it. Draco�s outraged shriek and snatch at the corner of the glass came too
late. Harry simply shifted so that one of his shoulders blocked Draco�s hand
and tilted his head so that his cheek almost brushed Draco�s fingers. Though
Draco thought he had earlier touched Harry without flinching, he couldn�t do it
now, and he froze.

�� Scorpius
stared at his face. Then he lifted his hand and traced the edge of his dented
cheekbone, which formed the edge of the cauldron of simmering flesh. Draco had
to look away because he couldn�t bear the expression on his son�s face. He was
quiet, calculating, as if he were
trying to think of what part the stranger in the mirror would play in his own
life.

�� This is
you,� said Harry. �And I can tell you now that it�s no good hoping for a mirror
that lies, or one that flatters you with pretty visions of what can never be.
You can use glamours; you can research healing spells. Some of the Healers who talked
to me are hopeful about eventually restoring some of the skin. But your face
will always bend a little to the side even in their best projections, and they
don�t think they can do anything about your hand, which was the worst burned
because it was holding the ember. Learn reality.� His hand trembled where it
clutched the mirror, or Draco would have struck him for his flat, cold,
emotionless tone. �It�s the only way to become acquainted with the worst that
can happen to you.�

�� Scorpius
still said nothing. Draco finally managed to overcome his own shock, and took
the mirror away. Then he grabbed Harry�s arm and hauled him to the far side of
the room, making him stumble over his bad leg but not caring. How dare Harry act as if Draco had given him
permission to talk to Scorpius like that?

�� What was
that?� he hissed, his voice shaking. �Why would you say things like that? Just
because you had something bad happen to you doesn�t mean it�s going to be that
bad for Scorpius.�

�� I talked
to the Healers, I said.� Harry�s voice was remote and cold as the moon hovering
outside the bedroom window. �And that was what they said. Most of them are
hopeful about restoring bits of Scorpius�s face, but they can�t agree on which
bits. That says to me that they don�t really know what to do about the magical
burns. They had the same kinds of disagreements about my leg, and eventually
most of them had to drop their optimistic theories and go with the pessimistic
ones. And his hand is a dead loss.� For a moment, he turned his head and looked
at Scorpius, and Draco could have hit him with pleasure then, because of the look
in his eyes. �There are spells and devices he can use to somewhat compensate,
but he�ll have to learn to use his wand with his left hand.�

�� You don�t
need to tell him that��

�� Harry
whirled on him, and Draco saw the passion he had been missing behind his eyes
then, fury and fear colliding in a crash like the lightning of two opposing
storms. �I am trying to tell him the
truth,� Harry hissed. �And I am trying to
save your relationship with him. You can have false assumptions about me all
you like. But not him. He�s your son. Your son, Draco.� His voice sank, shaking. �I want you to always
be able to have him, even if you can�t have me.�

�� Draco
stared at him with his mouth slightly open for long moments. Then he shook his head
and said, �You think I would abandon Scorpius?�

�� Harry
leaned towards him, and his breath traveling in soft puffs across Draco�s
earlobe roused entirely inappropriate memories. �I saw you didn�t want to look
at him or touch his hand. It could begin that way. And I remember that you
wanted to stand by me at first, until you learned just how bad the damage was.
I won�t let him experience that.�

�� Draco�s
breath caught in his throat. Harry�s head was uplifted, and his eyes shone the
way they had when he was relating the story of his torture, so that the
important thing was the feelings reflected in them and not the devastated face
that surrounded them. Harry would challenge the forces of prejudice and pity
and Draco�s own instinctive revulsion in the face of ugliness for Scorpius�s
sake�for the sake of a boy he hadn�t even known a week ago.

�� You say
that your main gift is accepting reality, but really, you�re all about challenging
it,� he murmured.

�� Harry
twitched a little, and then said, �I was trying to be cold and calm because I
thought that was the only way Scorpius would listen to me. And I need you to
realize the truth about him, even if
you won�t about me. Look at what he�s become and love him anyway. He needs to have
at least one person who he knows won�t turn against him, Draco.�

�� It sounds
like he has two.� Draco was edging nearer, hardly aware that he was doing so.
He didn�t think that he could touch Harry, not yet, but he wanted to be as
close as possible to the fire that blazed through Harry�s words and gaze. Yes,
there was a good reason that his mouth and eyes had been left undamaged, Draco
thought. They were the conduits of the real beauty he still possessed.

�� How can I help but love anyone who fights
for Scorpius?

�� Harry
stared at him for long moments, then turned his head
away. Draco was astonished to see his eyes close and to hear him take a breath
as if he were fighting back tears. �Yes,� he murmured. �He does.�

�� Harry?�
Draco reached out to touch his shoulder�it was so much easier when he had that
dreadful face turned away�but Harry stepped away from him without appearing to
notice his hand and knelt down in front of Scorpius. Scorpius turned his head and
looked up at him. Even the burned skin on his face looked pale, Draco thought.

�� You�ve had
some time to think about it,� said Harry. �I know you�re smarter than most
other kids your age. What do you think?�

�� I think,�
said Scorpius, �that I can count.�

�� Harry
blinked, and Draco was momentarily glad that he had someone else who showed he
was bewildered by Scorpius with him. It was a matter of pride with his parents
to never show surprise or any other emotion to the little boy but patience and,
when Scorpius earned it, affection.

�� I�m thinking about Harry as if I need him.

�� Draco
shivered, and swallowed, and made an admission he probably should have made
years ago in the privacy of his own head. I
do.

�� Count?� Harry said, and his voice was helpless. He tilted
his head to the side and looked at Scorpius as if he were the first being of a
new magical species Harry had ever met. One of his hands had fallen to his
side, Draco saw, massaging his bad leg. �Of course you count. You matter to
both your father and me.� He darted Draco a venomous sidelong glance that said
Scorpius had better matter to him.

�� Yes, count,�
said Scorpius. �I still have one hand that�s fine.� He looked complacently at
his left hand. �That means I can pick up things. And my mouth is fine, so I can
talk and cast magic and eat sweets. And the Healers will help my neck. And I
have two sides of my face, and one isn�t burned.� He looked quizzically up at
Harry, who was gaping at him. �What�s wrong with you? Do you need a healing
potion and to lie down, too? You look like you hurt.�

*

�� Harry
swallowed, and swallowed again. He had no other means of fighting back the
tears, because blinking wasn�t strong enough to do it.

�� And then
the tears came anyway, making their way slowly down the cracked and twisted
seams of his face.

�� Draco still needs me only to care for
Scorpius. I�ll never have him as a lover again, I have
to acknowledge that now. If he can barely touch his son without flinching, what
makes me think he�ll able to touch me?

�� But Scorpius is taking this better than I
expected. He�ll�he�ll heal. He�ll heal in his mind, which is so much more
important than the body.

�� Harry
lifted a hand and wiped away his tears, hearing flakes
of dead skin break off at his touch and rattle down like the bodies of crushed
insects. He finally managed to open his eyes and look at Scorpius normally, and
he said, �I�m in pain, but it�s the happy kind of pain you get when you��

�� When you
eat too much ice cream,� Scorpius interrupted, nodding wisely. �I get that all
the time.� He looked thoughtfully at Harry for another moment. �Can I have
another pain potion?�

�� Not right
now.� Harry knew the potion he�d given Scorpius had a soporific component. He
should be falling asleep soon.

�� Oh.�
Scorpius wrinkled his nose and seemed about to say something else, but then his
eyes closed and he began to faintly snore. Harry reached out and gently stroked
the fused-together fingers of his right hand before he turned away. The Healers
might have more concrete information on Scorpius�s condition now than they�d
managed to give him last time.

�� Draco
stepped in front of him. Harry blinked, lost again for a moment. How in the
world had Draco got in front of him?

�� But then he saw the pale face
and the compressed lips, and he knew. Draco had always had a habit of moving
faster when he was angry.

�� I want to
know why you pulled away from me just now,� Draco said, in a crisp voice that
made it not much less than a demand. �What reason do you have to mourn, when Scorpius
is taking this so well?�

�� None,�
Harry said, and gave him a watery smile. �Absolutely none.
I just thought he wouldn�t, that�s all. And I�m glad he has so much strength.
You must have raised him exceptionally well,� he added.

�� Draco
flushed and coughed. But then he said, �That isn�t it. Surprise and worry about
Scorpius shouldn�t make you snap at me.�

�� Harry
raised an eyebrow, or at least arched the ridge of his forehead where his
eyebrows would once have been. What he said next insisted on coming out, no matter how sternly he told himself to
keep his emotions in check. �Believe it or not, Draco, even monsters have human
emotions sometimes, and get frustrated at people who don�t deserve it, like
everyone else.�

�� Draco�s
eyes narrowed. �I told you that calling you a monster was a mistake. Can�t you��

�� Oh, God. Harry knew that he couldn�t have
this conversation, or everything would come tumbling out, including the whole
flood of his bitterness. And Draco might not be Scorpius, but he was still Scorpius�s
father, and he was suffering. The last thing he needed right now or ever was an
overload of Harry�s pain.

�� I�ll
forgive it eventually,� he said. �I brooded on it for three years, and then I
learned that maybe I was wrong. I can�t just forget that in a day.� He hastily
nodded to the bed where Scorpius lay sleeping and changed the subject. �I�m
going to see what else they can tell me about his condition. Maybe someone will
come up with a way to save his hand after all.�

�� Draco didn�t
move. In fact, he planted his hands on his hips and gave Harry a distinctly
unimpressed look. Harry�s heartbeat quickened. Once that look had been prelude
to a lecture on hiding from the press or an announcement about how he wasn�t
going to meekly accept an insult one of Harry�s friends had flung at him.
Petulant, bratty, and obnoxious as some sides of Draco�s character were, other
parts of it gave him the strength to stand up to anything.

�� Except me, Harry thought, and touched
his face again.

�� Is this
about you and me?� Draco asked, lowly. �Scorpius won�t be sick forever. And I
don�t see why we can�t combine the search for a cure for his injuries with the search for a cure for yours.�

�� It was too
much like what Harry wanted. For a moment, he was tempted to surrender, to give
in and live the life Draco was offering. He�d had so much trouble envisioning
it earlier that night, but he could see it now: sitting in front of the fire
whilst Scorpius practiced with his wand in his left hand not far away, Draco
sitting in the chair next to him and dividing his attention between his son and
the book spread open across the chair arms and Harry himself�

�� And the
dream destroyed itself. Harry looked up at Draco. �I made up my mind tonight to
give you an ultimatum,� he said. �If you can�t accept that maybe my injuries
are permanent and we won�t find a cure, then I can�t be with you. I would only
end up being more disappointed if we had to give up.�

�� I don�t
think they are permanent,� Draco said
at once. �I think that someday you�ll look just like you do with the glamour
on.�

�� Harry moved
his fingers in a controlled spasm at his side, and the glamour took over his
features again. �Like this?� he asked softly.

�� Draco
stepped towards him at once, his movements swift and yet dreamy, as if he didn�t
really realize what he was doing. He closed his eyes and leaned towards Harry,
hands rising to cup the sides of his face.

�� Harry
twitched his fingers again and Vanished the glamour.

�� Draco
jumped back at once as if he had been burned, but Harry caught one of his hands
and pressed it against the horned ridge that stuck up on his right cheek, let him feel the roughness and the edge that would
cut him if not for the other spells Harry had already applied to his face.
Draco struggled in a panic, the way Ron still reacted if a spider appeared, and
lunged to the other side of the room the moment Harry let him go. He was
rubbing his hands together frantically, his eyes locked in horrified
fascination on Harry�s face.

�� There,�
Harry said. It felt as though a great crystal he had carried safely in his
hands for years were breaking apart at last, but the feeling was weirdly
relieving. Once the crystal breaks, maybe
I�ll be able to look at the sun directly, instead of through it. �You can
accept Scorpius the way he really is and love him no matter what, but not me. You
can�t love me unless I�m beautiful. And there�s a very high chance that I might
not be, Draco. I won�t�I won�t be your lover on a condition. I deserve
unconditional love as much as the next person. I deserve someone who can
actually give me strength as well as count on mine.�

�� His voice
was shaking wildly by the end of the speech, but he knew he had said something
important.

He added, just so that Draco couldn�t
mistake him, �I won�t abandon you or Scorpius. I�ll see this through. But, like
you said, Scorpius won�t be sick forever. And when he isn�t, it�s best if I
just go.�

He limped out of the room, away
from the horror-stricken look on Draco�s face.

*

�� Draco
buried his face in his hands.

�� The
revelation he had now didn�t help him come to terms with what had just
happened. It didn�t make him able to overcome his revulsion. It was as hard and
spiky and unpleasant as the touch of Harry�s skin. And he felt distant anger
and irritation and helplessness.

�� But now,
finally, he understood what his rejection
had done to Harry.

�� And now,
finally, he was feeling pain and grief that were not his own, and were not
based solely on the loss of beauty.

�� And, given
his earlier revelation that he needed Harry, that gave
him rather a lot to think about.

*

�� SoftObsidian74:
As this chapter shows, while Draco isn�t a villain, he was still trying very
hard to ignore certain facts. Hopefully this chapter will show him he can�t
hide from them anymore. Other people besides himself
are suffering, and he�ll have to step up and do something about it, not only
feel his own pain.

�� Thanks for
reviewing.

�� DTDY:
Because I think Scorpius being scarred is the only way to bring home the lesson
of this story to Draco.

�� Dezra: Yes, probably not. Draco would have more control if
the scarring had happened to him instead.

�� I went to
add your e-mail to my mailing list, but it�s hidden.

�� gentlenightrain: Believe me, that
scene was hard to write!

�� Ladynight: Basically, yes.

�� linagabriev: I do mean Draco to
become more sympathetic�even if his revelation have to be basically forced into
his head.

�� Harry is
fond of Draco for things like not wanting to admit he drooled, but in
retrospect, he thinks it should have been a warning sign for him.

�� Scorpius is
too self-confident to really doubt his relationship with his father. But Draco
is having problems looking at and touching him.

�� Harry doesn�t
want Draco to get his hopes up and only stay with him for that hope. He wants
Draco to be able to accept him as he is, no matter what. If there�s no cure, he
thinks Draco would leave him.

�� Myraa: Draco is resilient. Already he�s bouncing back and
worrying about what Harry thinks of him as well as about Scorpius. ;)

�� Harry, at
this moment, thinks Draco�s strength is absorbed in being strong for Scorpius.
He just doesn�t see a way they can be together with Draco really accepting him.

�� harrydraco4life:
They do have Scorpius�Harry just doesn�t think it�s permanent.

�� lolafalola: Draco�s getting there!
Unfortunately, Harry doesn�t know about it again.

�� qwerty: Draco won�t turn Scorpius away, but he might show
him by small signs that he doesn�t think of Scorpius in the same way anymore.

�� wyldcat: You�re on the right
track!

�� yun: Harry is (bitterly) resigning
himself to a life of selflessness again, where he helps Draco and Scorpius but
then they go back to their perfect lives.

�� ilovecats: Sure, I�ve added you to the update list.
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