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Inter Vivos	By : Lomonaaeren Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Harry/Draco Views: 42948 -:- Recommendations : 3 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, and I am making no money from this writing.

Chapter List
- 5
- 6
- 7
Thank you again for all the reviews!

Chapter Six�Anger

�� Draco
trotted down the corridor towards the library, frowning at his Charms textbook.
Try as he might, he hadn�t been able to figure out the connection between
Soothing and Tickling Charms for the summer essay that Professor Flitwick had assigned him to write. Draco suspected he
needed a book that he�d ignored the first time around because the title wasn�t
promising.

�� He had just
started to open the door when he heard a voice that made him freeze.

�� I am displeased.�

�� It was his
father. Draco had never heard him sound so angry. Even when Lucius was
disgusted with something Draco had done, he almost never raised his voice;
instead, it got colder and colder, and his face became more and more blank.

�� Who displeased him? Me, or Mother, or
someone he works with? Either way, Draco thought it was better to scout out
the territory before going into the library. He put his eye to the keyhole.

�� His father
stood staring down at one of the house-elves, who was already wringing his
hands and whimpering. Draco thought this one�s name was Dobby. Of course, all
the elves were interchangeable anyway, so he�d never paid much attention to
them.

�� How could
you betray our family like this?� continued Lucius, and his voice had cooled a
little but still sounded far too loud and passionate. Draco frowned. He�s better at hiding his emotions than
that. �How could you help Harry
Potter, of all people?�

�� Draco
caught his breath. Someone�s house-elf
can help someone else? How did that even happen?

�� But he had
to focus on the conversation again as Dobby wailed, �Dobby is-is sorry,
M-Master Malfoy! D-dobby is a bad elf!
But Harry Potter is a good wizard��

�� Lucius took
a step away from Dobby, as if the elf�s words might contaminate him, and
murmured a spell too soft for Draco to hear.

�� Long
parallel wounds began to appear on Dobby�s body, as
though some invisible cat were standing next to him and raking its claws down
his face and chest. Dobby screamed horribly, but didn�t run away.

�� Do clean
up,� Lucius said, spinning away. Draco saw a satisfied expression on his face
first. �I don�t want you spilling blood all over the floor.� And he sat down at
his desk and started reading, whilst Dobby, screaming all the time, started to
clean up the blood. It was no good, Draco saw, because he was spilling more
even as he cleaned, and that made him bite his own hands and tug on his ears to
punish himself for disobeying his master�s orders.

�� Draco
backed away from the door and walked back to his room much faster than he�d
come to the library. He had to think,
and his head was spinning and buzzing so hard that he thought maybe his father
would hear it if he stayed.

�� He�d never
seen his father use such a violent spell before, but obviously he knew it. That argued he had used it in
the past.

�� And he had
used it on someone who had helped Potter.

�� Draco
shivered and rubbed his arms.

�� And then a
new thought jumped up in his mind and spoke as impudently as Dobby had when he
talked back to his master.

�� He doesn�t really control his emotions or
maintain a cool front. He just waits until he can dump them on someone who
can�t fight back. I wonder how many times he�s gone and punished a house-elf
when he was angry at me?

�� He gets angry like anyone else, and he
disapproves of me when I get angry, but he doesn�t maintain the ideal
himself.

�� He lied.

�� Draco went
back to his bedroom and lay on the bed, staring at the ceiling, for long hours,
until his mother came and asked if he were sick.

*

�� Harry
stumbled off the Hogwarts Express. He knew his face was green and that many
people were looking at him sidelong, knowing he had screamed when the Dementors approached the train. He was just glad he had
recovered from his faint before someone�like Professor Lupin,
who seemed nice but was still an adult Harry didn�t know�could carry him to the
infirmary.

�� Why do all the adults I know either think
I�m never sick or injured, or always want me to spend time in the infirmary? he
thought, rubbing at his face and trying to get the image of his dying mother
and the sound of her screams out of his mind.

�� Mate? You
all right?�

�� Ron hovered
beside him. Harry gave him a smile he knew was wavery.
Hermione came up behind him and touched his arm, her face bright with concern.

�� The Dementors affect people like that sometimes, you know,� she
whispered. �It doesn�t make you weak.�

�� Harry
nodded, so she wouldn�t think he was ignoring her, but didn�t say anything. He knew it made him weak, it made him a
baby, just like crying from an injury did. And he had to find some way to
overcome it. There had to be some way
to fight Dementors. He�d find it. Maybe Professor Lupin would know a way.

�� In the
meantime, he had a lot to think about as Ron and Hermione hauled him aboard one
of the carriages that moved by itself and they trundled towards Hogwarts.

�� His summer
had been horrible, just like always. The Dursleys
didn�t give him much food, and there was always a new list of chores just as he
finished the old one, which meant no time to really rest. Aunt Petunia tended to shout him out of bed at the crack of
dawn and insist that he do the weeding and the watering in the garden. Harry
had thought at first she was trying to give him a chance to do the outside
chores before it got too hot, but then he heard her telling Uncle Vernon that
she�d read it was good to water one�s garden in the morning.

�� Of course, he thought, rolling his head until
his forehead rested against the window, so he could watch Hogwarts grow bigger
and bigger. I don�t know why I keep
expecting them to have some sort of consideration for me.

�� And then he
had blown up Aunt Marge, and then he had heard about Sirius Black and how he
was after him. And the Dementors were hanging around
the Express, and the castle, too; Harry could feel the chill crawling up his
spine. He didn�t know what they were doing there, exactly, but he bet it had
something to do with him. Horrible things revolving around the school did,
generally.

�� He
remembered something then, and snorted to himself, closing his eyes; they still
had a little bit of time to go before they�d arrive at Hogwarts�s
gates.

�� At least I should have more than enough
excuse to avoid pressure from Snape and Malfoy. Who�s going to want to hang
around someone condemned to be hunted by a criminal and who faints when he sees
Dementors and screams for his Mum?

�� Ron and
Hermione�s voices came to him, already arguing about how much study was
necessary before their classes began, and Harry smiled without opening his eyes.

�� Besides my best friends, I mean.

�� But the
part of the school year where Snape had come into the Chamber after him and
Malfoy had insisted on being Harry�s friend already seemed like a dream. It had
almost immediately after he got back to the Dursleys�
house. Hard work and lots of hunger and little sleep�he�d had nightmares about
the basilisk and Tom Riddle, too, just to
add the perfect topping to the summer�were the reality.

�� Besides, he
didn�t think that they really had a reason to meet together anymore, since he
had decided not to use the potion against Seamus.

*

�� This is not acceptable.

�� Severus
Snape was the one who controlled circumstances within his own life. If he had
to make a choice that went against his inclinations, he made it in a way that
left him with the maximum of freedom. He had spied for Dumbledore against the
Dark Lord, but he had not given his unconditional loyalty to the ideals that
Dumbledore �embodied,� in the way that James Potter and his friends had.

�� Severus
could feel his lip curl and his eyes fill with disgust. Of course, that didn�t
matter at the moment, since he was circulating through a Potions classroom
filled with Gryffindors and Longbottom had just melted another cauldron, but it still paid to know what his face was
doing.

�� James
Potter and his friends were one of the few circumstances in his life that
Severus had not been able to control or surmount, and now one of them had come
back to teach at Hogwarts. As if that were not enough, Dumbledore had charged
Severus with making the Wolfsbane Potion for the
flea-bitten cur, and made him promise not to hint that Lupin was a werewolf.

�� When
Severus had protested, Dumbledore had looked at him over his spectacles and
spoken the quiet, devastating words that Severus had no counter for. �And I had
thought you wished to make up for Lily�s death, Severus. This is a little thing
I ask you to do, truly.�

�� So Severus
would have been predisposed to be in a bad mood this year without any
additional encouragement, the only spark of cheer remaining to him the fact
that no Defense Against the Dark Arts Professor seemed to last more than a
year. At the very least, he should not have to endure Lupin�s good-natured
cowardice later than June.

�� But then, this had happened.

�� He stepped up
beside Potter and looked into his cauldron, letting the expression of disdain
on his face speak for him. Yes, Potter�s potion was a little better than it
would have been last year, but still not good enough to justify any praise.

�� Potter
didn�t look up. Oh, his brow creased and his eyes flashed, showing that he had
not gone back to the lifeless apathy of the last autumn. But he continued
chopping ingredients and consulting the recipe with his four-eyed squint, as if
Severus were of no consequence.

�� He had not
come to Severus with one question this term. He had not attempted to ask what
Severus might have learned about Finnigan�s family
and connections over the summer (though, as a matter of fact, he had learned
nothing; all his investigations reached a certain point and dissolved into air.
Of course, that made him only more certain that there was something to
discover, after all). When Severus had assigned Potter detention for failing to
complete any step of a potion properly, he had cleaned the cauldrons and
departed without speaking a word.

�� The boy
seemed to think that Severus would forget everything he had learned about
Potter in the past year, and meanwhile he
could forget that Severus had come into the Chamber to rescue him and
had�learned what he had learned about Potter�s morals and his House
allegiances.

�� It was
insulting.

�� It was not
acceptable.

�� It
displeased him.

�� But Severus
was intelligent enough to realize that few baits to lure the boy back would
work. They were no longer working on a potion. He did not have enough concrete
information about Finnigan and where he might have learned the Dark spell that
burned the boy�s possessions to construct a good lie, and Potter would manage
to see to the bottom of a weak one in the end. Severus�s goal was to pull the
boy closer and to see exactly how much of a Slytherin he was. He had decided
over the summer that Potter was interesting enough to warrant that much.

�� Potter did not get to decide that their
association was at an end.

�� Now he had
only to decide what would work�

�� And then
the current of his earlier thoughts swirled through his brain as he watched one
of the children working with the aconite this potion needed, and he felt the
corners of his lips pull up into a thin smile.

�� Longbottom
melted his second cauldron of the day, out of sheer nervousness. Severus made a
mental note to smile more often.

*

�� Draco
glared at the back of Potter�s head as he walked with his little friends,
laughing and chattering, on the way to Care of Magical Creatures.

�� He�d been
doing that a lot lately.

�� But Potter
was avoiding him. He�d muttered hullo
to Draco when they crossed paths a few times, and he hadn�t taunted him, and
he�d dragged the Weasel away when the red-head had started to make a remark
about Draco�s father. (Draco had almost felt like saying that he had more
reason to think badly of Lucius than Weasel did).

�� But he
hadn�t come up to include him in any adventures. He hadn�t talked to Draco like
a normal person. He hadn�t asked him how his summer was.

�� It was like
he was trying to pretend that their friendship didn�t happen. Or maybe he was
thinking that, with a convict after him and Dementors
all around the school, it was too �dangerous� for Draco to associate with him.

�� Or maybe he just hates Slytherins, again.
Because he�s avoiding Professor Snape, too.

�� Draco had
watched Professor Snape watching Potter, though, and he didn�t think the
professor would simply accept the dismissal. Nor did Draco intend to. He was
going to have real friendship or real rivalry, not this�this half-thing that
hovered between them both.

�� The Great
Giant Git was going on about hippogriffs. Draco saw no need to pay attention.
Yeah, hippogriffs were big and potentially destructive, but they couldn�t make
his face get all flushed and his mind get all blurred with anger the way the
boy standing a few paces away from him and studiously ignoring him could.

�� And then
Potter stepped forwards and bowed to a hippogriff, and the hippogriff bowed
back and knelt down and let him climb on its back.

�� As he
circled over them, dipping towards the lake and then soaring back towards the
clouds again, Draco heard Potter laugh.

�� It
increased his anxiety and his anger, and then he realized he was actually
clenching his fists in jealousy. Jealousy. Of a damn hippogriff, that it could make Potter laugh and Draco couldn�t.

�� He hastily
unclenched his fists and glanced around to see if anyone had noticed. Only
Vince and Greg had, and they were looking at him eagerly to see who they should
hit. Draco shook his head, and they relaxed with disappointed expressions.

�� The
hippogriff circled back to earth, and the Great Giant Git instructed them to
come forwards and try greeting the creatures. He was as horrible a teacher as
Draco had always suspected. Of course, it didn�t help that he had that accent
that made him sound like someone from the lower classes.

�� And then
Draco thought of a grand, wonderful idea.
Maybe Potter was avoiding Draco because he had no reason to notice him. Draco
had stopped fighting with him, so Potter didn�t have that reason to think about
him. And they weren�t meeting in Snape�s detentions any more so that he could
tutor Potter in Potions.

�� So he had
to do something Potter couldn�t ignore. He had to beat him at something.

�� No matter
what the Great Giant Git said, hippogriffs weren�t that smart. They couldn�t
possibly recognize an insult if they heard it. Draco would coolly insult the
hippogriff Potter had ridden, then hop on its back and sail away�and he�d do that more smoothly, too. Then Potter
would have no choice but to recognize that Draco could do something better than
he could, and get away with it.

�� So he bowed
to the hippogriff, and straightened with a bored expression. Sure enough, the
hippogriff bowed back even so.

�� See? They don�t care what people think of
them.

�� Draco
reached out to caress its beak, addressing his remarks apparently to Vince and
Greg but keeping his eye on Potter. �They�re not all that handsome at all, just
great ugly brutes��

�� The hippogriff
twisted its head and clamped its beak on Draco�s arm.

�� Draco
screamed. The pain was worse than anything he�d felt before, even the time he�d
fallen off his practice broom and fractured his elbow. He tugged, but the
hippogriff held on, working its beak in a sawing motion, trying to separate his
flesh from the bone. And then one of those great taloned
feet rose up, trying to open his belly.

*

�� Harry
reacted without thinking. There was someone in danger right in front of him. He
couldn�t not save them.

�� Or, at
least, that was what he told Ron and Hermione later, when they asked why he�d
done it.

�� He just
knew at the time that he saw Buckbeak about to hurt
Malfoy, or hurt him worse, and he couldn�t let that happen. Because Malfoy was
someone he knew.

�� He cast the
spell that Hermione had cast that first year, when they�d all thought Snape was
trying to hex him on his broom during the Quidditch match. This time, the fire
came up right under Buckbeak�s left hind foot.

�� The
hippogriff let go of Malfoy at once and spun around, stamping his hoof and
squealing. Harry felt a pang of guilt as he watched Buckbeak
sputter and dance. He was apparently too scared to spread his wings and take
off. Sorry. I�m sorry. But I couldn�t let
you hurt him worse.

�� The other
students scattered. Hagrid came up, bellowing. Harry was confident he�d be able
to handle Buckbeak and stop him from hurting anyone
else or himself.

�� And then he
spun around and ran to where Malfoy sat on the ground, his arm deeply scratched
and bleeding, tears pouring down his face.

�� Emotions
jumped up and down inside Harry, clamoring for their turn. Irritation�it was
Malfoy�s fault for ignoring Hagrid and provoking Buckbeak.
Guilt�Harry probably could have done something if he�d acted faster. Sympathy�he�d
had a scratch like that this summer when the pruning shears slipped, and of
course the Dursleys had refused to do anything but
toss towels at him until he bound it up. Concern�Malfoy probably needed to go
to the infirmary, but he probably also needed to be healed before then, and
there was no professor around but Hagrid.

�� But maybe
Harry could do something to help. He
pointed his wand at Malfoy�s arm and muttered the charm that Flitwick had taught them to seal envelopes and scrolls. �Consigno.�

�� Skin closed
messily over Malfoy�s scratch, and the blood stopped pouring. Harry nodded. It
still looked messy, but at least Malfoy wouldn�t bleed to death before they got
him to the hospital wing.

�� Harry!�
Hermione was beside him, her eyes wide and worried. �It�s dangerous to try a
spell like that to heal a wound.�

��

�� What are
you doing, mate?� Ron was behind him, his voice wary. He remembered their
temporary truce with Malfoy last year, Harry knew, but Harry hadn�t said
anything about it continuing this year�mostly because he�d been trying to
convince himself he couldn�t possibly be friends with a Slytherin, it was too
dangerous and too hard.

�� Malfoy
looked directly at Harry, his face twisted up with rage and pain, and said, �I
did that for you.�

�� What?�
Harry said blankly. He heard his friends muttering behind him, but he couldn�t
tell if it was because of what Malfoy had said or the fact that Harry was
speaking to him before them.

�� I thought
I�d show you I could ride a hippogriff better,� said Malfoy. �And look where it
got me.� He lifted his sealed arm pathetically.

�� Irritation
won the contest among Harry�s emotions. �You should have listened to Hagrid,�
he snapped. �He told us not to insult
the hippogriffs if we were trying to ride them. Why did you?�

�� Because I
wanted you to pay attention to me.�

�� Malfoy had
a horrible expression on his face as he spoke. And Harry knew it was horrible
because he recognized it. He had seen it when he lingered on the playground at
his primary school, not daring to approach the other children because Dudley would only beat him up if he did, and looked into
rain puddles, trying to pretend he was thinking about big and important things.
That expression was on his face.

�� Malfoy
wanted a friend.

�� And for
some reason, he had decided that friend had to be Harry.

�� But Harry
had no time to respond, because by that time Hagrid had got Buckbeak
under control and was coming to scoop Malfoy up in his arms and carry him to
the infirmary. So Harry couldn�t answer him.

�� But he had
a lot to think about.

�� That was still a stupid thing to do.

�� But if he wants to be my friend that badly�

�� For some
reason, where he only should have been irritated that Malfoy had tried to gain
his friendship that way, he felt a
squiggle of warmth.

�� He hadn�t
had anyone actually compete to be his
friend before. He had met Ron and Hermione both mostly by chance, and then got
to know them best because they defeated a troll together. He�d really thought
that was the only way to make friends, because they were the only friends he
had and he hadn�t got many others in the last two years here.

�� But maybe there�s another way, he
thought, and turned to answer Ron and Hermione�s questions.

*

�� Severus was
not master of his own life; the Mark on his arm and the vows that tied him to
Dumbledore reminded him of that every day. But he was a master of doing what he
could to make his own life easier, and that included choosing his moments for
action carefully.

�� He had
waited several weeks after Draco�s injury. Draco had remained in the infirmary
a few days longer than necessary, and to Severus�s certain knowledge, Potter
had tried to see him at least twice, only to be rebuffed. And since then, Draco
had gone about the school, ignoring Potter ostentatiously and retelling the
story of how he had almost died several times.

�� Potter had
started to receive lessons from Lupin in casting the Patronus Charm. Lupin wasn�t
subtle enough to keep his gloating about the talents of �James�s son� out of
conversations with other professors.

�� He had
continued to avoid Severus, which had proven conclusively that he no longer
associated Draco with Severus in his mind, and whilst he might be anxious to
win the friendship of the one, he didn�t think he had to work at earning the regard
of the other.

�� Severus
would make sure that such matters were resolved to his own benefit.

�� And so he
assigned the boy a detention that day in class, though, in truth, his potion
looked no worse than Vincent Crabbe�s. Potter jerked
and gave him a hateful glance, then appeared to remember that he was ignoring
Severus and dropped his eyes.

�� Severus did
not actually care. He would have the boy to himself for a few hours that night.
He thought Draco unlikely to interfere this time, since he appeared to enjoy
inducing guilt in Potter at the moment more than he did watching him.

�� And Severus
would lay his bait well.

*

�� Harry
stepped into Snape�s office and paused. This time, there was no stack of
cauldrons waiting for him. He grimaced. That meant he was probably pulling out
frog livers or something.

�� Snape was
sitting behind his desk, writing something on an essay, but he only scrawled a
few more words with a flourish before he stood up to confront Harry. Harry
braced himself, determined to say nothing. His potion today hadn�t even been
bad, which only proved that Snape was really as mean as Harry had always
thought he was and would give detentions for nothing.

�� He�s probably angry because I didn�t want to
let him use the potion on Seamus, Harry decided. He waited for insults.

�� Instead,
Snape scrutinized him with a narrow smile and narrower eyes that Harry didn�t
like at all. Then he said, casually, �I had thought we had somewhat of an
understanding last year, Mr. Potter, after I had risked my life pursuing you
into the Chamber. Where has that understanding gone?�

�� Harry
scowled. He hated it when people confronted him directly about these things. It
was hard to lie to Ron and Hermione about the reasons he felt responsible for
Malfoy being injured, and it was hard to tell Snape the reasons behind his
decisions, because no matter how he explained it, they wouldn�t understand him.

�� The Dursleys never
understand me, he thought sullenly, and
neither does McGonagall.

�� I have a
convict after me this year,� he said. He hesitated, but there was nothing for
it, so he finished, �And you heard the way I reacted to the Dementors
on the train.�

�� I
understand you fainted, yes,� said Snape, with a calmness that made Harry stare
at him suspiciously. �Which is why you are receiving extra lessons from
Professor Lupin. I do not understand what this has to
do with your avoiding me.�

�� I fainted,� Harry said flatly, and waited
for him to get it.

�� Snape
arched an eyebrow and said nothing.

�� You�re
always expecting me to be strong,� Harry said. �You make fun of me when I react
to you in class. You were going to make fun of me for fainting, and you�d
probably say it was my fault for having Sirius Black after me, too. So I wanted
to stay away from you.�

�� There. That explanation is so simple that
even Snape must understand it.

*

�� Severus had
found the key to another piece of the child�s twisted psyche, one he had seen
hinted at in the Chamber but not heard stated outright.

�� He resists tears when he can. He resents the
implication that he is weak in any way. He did not even want to have Poppy
check him for basilisk venom.

�� Severus
concealed a sigh. He had hoped that he might have the understanding with Potter
that he had with some of his Slytherins: he would not openly give them advice
or help in class, where other students would notice and wonder about their deficiencies,
but they would come to him outside class, and he would give them extra
tutoring. He had done more than that, on occasion, when a student spoke to him
about use of Dark Arts or illegal potions.

�� Of course,
with none of those students had he used so contemptuous a mask as he did with
Potter. He supposed the boy would have coped with indifference better than
insults.

�� On the
other hand, Severus had no choice but to keep on as he had been. If�when�the
Dark Lord returned, he had to be ready to resume his place as a spy so that he
might keep his vows to Dumbledore to make up for telling the Dark Lord the
prophecy. So he would have to make Potter trust him in spite of that.

�� Perhaps I will have to be a
little�warmer�with him in detentions like this.

�� Severus
grimaced, and decided to try and see what knowledge would work first.

�� I do not
blame you for fainting, or for having a convict after you,� he told the boy
quietly, and began his gambit. �Considering that I knew Sirius Black when he
was a young man, and his relation to your parents, I cannot very well blame
you.�

�� Potter took
a step forwards, a flame so bright burning in his eyes that Severus was a bit
surprised he had not been blinded by it. �His relation to my parents?� he
demanded. �I heard�I mean, I�ve heard parts of stories, but no one will tell me
the truth.� And already he was retreating, his face becoming suspicious again,
as if he had realized that he couldn�t count on his nasty Potions Professor to
tell him the truth, either.

�� Sirius
Black was your father�s dearest friend,� Severus said. �They were in Gryffindor
House together when they were young, and constantly played pranks together.�

�� The flame
returned to Potter�s eyes. �I didn�t know that,� he said, and wrapped his arms
around himself as if he were hugging the knowledge close.

�� Another
flash of insight startled and unsettled Severus. He has perhaps even more reason to value the truth than usual. After
the way the Finnigan brat burned his possessions, he would hold more fiercely
to those things that cannot be physically destroyed.

�� And,�
Severus continued, knowing that no one else was likely to give Potter the full
details of the story, �Professor Lupin was also their
friend.�

�� Potter
twitched. Then he frowned and said, �But he�s never mentioned that to me.�

�� He
wouldn�t, would he?� Severus couldn�t tell Potter that Lupin
was a werewolf without breaking his word to Dumbledore, but he had prepared for
this, and there were other words he could use. �He had some interest in
distancing himself from the memories, I believe, after Black betrayed your
parents.�

�� It was
interesting, to watch Potter�s face go gray, though Severus didn�t care much
for the way he swayed and reached out as if he wanted to clutch something.
Merlin keep him from having to deal with any fainting children.

�� Sirius
Black�betrayed my parents,� Potter whispered.

�� Yes.�
Severus wondered now if he should have chosen gentler words, but Potter was
continually bragging that he was strong. Let
us see how he bears this. �He was their Secret-Keeper�the one responsible
for making sure that Voldemort did not discover the house where your parents
were hiding. But he betrayed them. And he killed Peter Pettigrew, who was your
father�s third friend in their schooldays, and a dozen Muggles at the same
time.�

�� I heard
about that,� said Potter quietly. He
wrapped his arms around himself again, but this time, Severus thought the meaning
of the gesture was distinctly different. �But no one told me who the wizard
was.� He stared hard suddenly at Severus. �I heard Mr. and Mrs. Weasley talking
about it. Would they have known who
Pettigrew was? And that Sirius Black was close to my parents in school?�

�� The last,�
Severus said smoothly, �I have no idea about. Arthur and Molly had left
Hogwarts before your parents arrived. But I think they would have some idea who
Pettigrew was, yes. They fought beside your parents, Black, Lupin,
and Pettigrew in the war.� And that
was as much as he could tell Potter without revealing that the Order of the Phoenix existed.

�� Why didn�t
they tell me?� Potter�s eyes were dull now.

�� Arthur and
Molly did not tell their own children about certain basic realities of life
when they were your age, either.� Severus shrugged. �I think they believe
children should be protected from those realities.�

�� And why
did you tell me?� Abruptly, Potter
was staring at him.

�� It was the
one question Severus had hoped he wouldn�t ask, but he had prepared to deal
with this, too. �Because Sirius Black is after you in particular,� he said.
�And you have grown up without this story, I believe?� Potter gave a jerky nod.
�I thought it was time you knew more about what the man you have battled so
blithely twice is capable of,� Severus added. �Black became a Death Eater�one
of the Dark Lord�s followers�and no one knew. The Dark Lord is convincing. And,
of course, you should know that Black is eager to kill you because of a
personal grudge, not only because you brought down his Lord.� And mine, as some would say.

�� Personal
grudge?� Potter repeated blankly.

�� How can the boy be intelligent enough to ask
some uncomfortable questions and yet ignorant enough not to pick up on the most
obvious implications of my own speech? �Because he tried to get you killed
when he betrayed your parents,� Severus explained patiently, �and yet he didn�t
manage.�

�� Oh.�
Potter swallowed noisily. Then he said, �You could be lying.�

�� There is
an easy enough way to confirm that,� Severus said softly, and thus showed the
bait at the heart of his trap. �Go to Professor Lupin.
If he tells you otherwise, then you�ll know not to trust me.�

�� Potter
stared at him, then turned and marched out of the office without asking if he
could leave, or if his detention was over.

�� Severus did
not care. He had done several things with this night�s work, and so was pleased
for the first time since Potter had returned in September.

�� He had given
Potter a possible reason to distrust Lupin, and he
would just as soon that Potter did not become too fond of the werewolf.

�� He had
given Potter facts he should have had long ago. He did seem to function better with more directly given information,
as he had proved in Potions. If it encouraged him to keep his foolish life
safer from Sirius Black, then the revelations were all to the good.

�� And he had encouraged Potter to
trust him, to think of him as the one adult who actually did believe he was
mature enough to hear the truth, and that would bear interesting, amusing
fruits of its own.

�� Now he had
only to wait.

*

�� Harry ran
through the corridors with his heart blurring in his ears. He had enjoyed his lessons with Professor Lupin in the Patronus Charm,
though there hadn�t been very many of them; Professor Lupin
had said he would have more time to teach Harry after Christmas. And he liked
the way Lupin taught, and the way he tried to give
them practical lessons as well as theoretical ones, which Harry actually understood, not like the ones in
Potions.

�� But
Professor Lupin hadn�t so much as let on once that
he�d known Harry�s parents, or Sirius Black.

�� Why does everyone who could tell me about
them have to keep so quiet? Harry wondered, as he slid to a stop in front
of the door to Lupin�s office, which still had a line of light under it, and
hammered on the wood. Why did it have to
be Snape who told me about them?

�� Lupin opened the door, smiling, but his face became
concerned at once when he saw Harry. �Harry, what�s the matter?�

�� Professor,�
Harry blurted, his heartbeat so loud that he almost didn�t know if he�d be able
to hear the answer, �did you know my parents? And Sirius Black? Were you my
father�s friend?�

�� Lupin gasped in a sharp breath. For a moment, he looked
over Harry�s shoulder as if he expected to see Black lurking in the corridor.
Then he bent down and whispered, �Harry, I need to know who told you that.�

�� Professor
Snape.� Harry said it defiantly. Let it
not be true, let it not be true.

�� Lupin stood up straight, looking relieved for some reason.
�Harry, you have to realize that Professor Snape didn�t get along with your
father, and he has some biases concerning him,� he began.

�� He didn�t
talk much about him,� Harry said. �Just you, and Sirius Black. Please, I have to know�did you know
him?�

�� Lupin sighed a sigh that seemed to come from his toes.
�Yes, Harry. I did. I miss them all�Peter, and James, and Lily, and Sirius from
before he became a traitor. But you have to understand��

�� Why didn�t
you tell me?�

�� Because I
did not think you were yet ready to hear that,� said Lupin
gently. �And I was right. You see that Professor Snape�s information has made
you terribly upset��

�� I�m tired of people not telling me things,�
Harry said, so loudly that Professor Lupin looked a
little startled. �Why�� He choked. �If you were my parents� friend, why didn�t you adopt me after Black betrayed them?
Why did I have to end up with the Dursleys?�

�� Lupin sighed again. �That concerns something I can�t tell
you, Harry. But, as Dumbledore explained it to me, your parents� will mandated
it. Lily�s sister was the only one able to take care of you, after�� He shut
up.

�� Who did
they want to take care of me?� Harry whispered. �I have to know. Please. I have
to know.�

�� Sirius was
your godfather,� Lupin said unwillingly. �But
obviously, he was�unavailable��

�� Bloody
mad, is what you mean,� Harry interrupted furiously, �and a traitor besides.�

�� Harry��

�� I
don�t�just don�t talk to me right now, all right?� Harry backed a step away. He
didn�t want to talk to or look at Professor Lupin
right now. He liked the man, he wanted to continue the lessons in the Patronus Charm, but he would have to get used to the fact
that Lupin had lied to him first.

�� Lupin reached out a hand, his eyes weary and kind. But his
words weren�t. �Harry, there were good reasons for keeping this from you.
Please believe me.�

�� But Harry
didn�t have to, and he spun away and ran wildly towards Gryffindor Tower,
so that he could find Ron and play wizarding chess or Exploding Snap with him,
or even listen to one of Ron and Hermione�s endless arguments about her cat, Crookshanks, tormenting his rat, Scabbers.

�� Lupin lied. Everybody lies.

�� Except Snape.

�� Snape didn�t lie.

*

�� Severus.�

�� Well, and that is a difference, Severus
thought, turning to face Lupin. Usually, the wolf
never bothered to greet him with anything less than a perfectly pleasant front,
as if he truly believed that he and Severus could become friends after the
torment and bullying of their schooldays. But now Lupin
looked like the predator he was, his eyes burning and his fingers curling
around his teacup like claws.

�� Lupin,� Severus said, and inclined his head. �It is not
like you to choose to sit beside me.� Due to Severus�s own request, he and Lupin were usually separated by several places at the High
Table. Now the wolf sat down in the chair beside him as if it were the most
natural thing in the world and leaned in, never once considering how strange
this would look to any outside observers. Severus checked a sigh, knowing he
would have to answer some questions from his elder Slytherins tonight.

�� You told
Harry secrets that weren�t yours to share,� Lupin
began forcefully.

�� And when
were you going to share them?� Severus flicked his glance to the Gryffindor
table. Potter was eating with grim determination, his eyes fixed ahead of him
as if Black were present and he could set fire to him with his glare. Draco was
picking at the bandage on his arm and at his food, now and then shooting
furtive looks at Potter. It was the first morning since his injury that Potter
hadn�t given him at least one hopeless look. Perhaps his curiosity would be
enough to drive him to reconcile with Potter, Severus thought. He was growing
tired of Draco�s whinging about the subject whenever he came to Severus for
extra Potions lessons.

�� When he
was an adult,� said Lupin. �And of age to understand.�

�� Severus
laughed; Minerva turned her head, but luckily she was having an animated
discussion about Quidditch with Rolanda and didn�t
try to listen long. �You would wait until he was seventeen, Lupin? With Black stalking him
this year?�

�� Lupin sat back in his chair and gave him a look of pure
disgust. �You have no idea how to treat children, Severus. Harry is a child,
and should be allowed to be one.�

�� He has not
one but two psychopaths stalking him now,� said Severus, forcing away the smile
that wanted to form. �He needs information to deal with them. Training. At the
very least, I think he should be allowed to know why his life is in danger.�

�� Albus
agreed with me��

�� Albus has
a strange blindness regarding the boy,� Severus said, this time flicking his
eyes towards the Headmaster. As usual, Albus was talking with the great oaf
Hagrid about something utterly inconsequential, but Severus knew he would
probably listen in to any conversation involving his name. Severus did not
care. He was prepared to defend his conduct in the name of getting over his
grudge against the Potter brat. Albus could not but approve of that. �He, too, wants to pretend that
Potter is an ordinary child. He is not. He killed a basilisk last year, Lupin. He faced the Dark Lord the year before that. You
will not make him into an ordinary child through trying.�

�� But we
could at least give him a childhood.�
Lupin shook his head chidingly at Severus. �Harry
came to me last night, deeply upset. You could have found a way to break the
news to him more gently.�

�� So could
you have,� Severus said. �Why didn�t you?�

�� You know
why.� One of Lupin�s hands closed on the table.

�� Your
little secret has nothing to do with
why you did not want to tell him of Sirius Black,� said Severus. �You merely
did not wish to rake up your own pain. Your loyalty to the dead and the mad outweighs
your loyalty to the living. Truly commendable, Lupin.�

��

�� The wolf
rose and stalked away. Severus looked back at the Gryffindor table to meet
Potter�s sulky, judgmental eyes.

�� Severus
raised an eyebrow, and Potter frowned before turning away.

�� Let him think about it, Severus thought,
spreading marmalade on his toast. He may
well need a few days to get over his resentment at the �ungentle� way I broke
the news to him.

�� But he will have received confirmation that
I am the only adult in this school he can trust to answer his questions.

�� And this
victory over Potter�s mistrust was, at the same time, a victory over Lupin and Dumbledore.

�� Severus
knew that was the reason for the feeling of warm pleasure that spread through
his chest when he thought about Potter coming to him with more questions.

*

�� DTDY:
Thanks for reviewing.

�� Lunatic
with a hero complex: Thank you. One of the main struggles in the fic is Draco�s struggle to find his own identity. Right
now, he�s defining himself too much in terms of Harry and his father.

�� The Night:
It will take a while. At the moment, Snape won�t use Legilimency
on Harry because that would considerably weaken Harry�s trust, and Harry doesn�t
trust him enough to tell him about the Dursleys, not
by a long shot.

�� heyyou: Thank you! And don�t worry, people have had trouble
with my name before. ;)

�� Inugrl2004:
Yes, except for the few weeks after he blows up Aunt Marge, like in the book.
Harry isn�t ready to tell anyone about the Dursleys
yet.

�� NBKitty: Thanks for reviewing.

�� Thrnbrooke: Here it is!

�� Sneakyfox: Well, it has changed things for both Harry and
Draco, but not necessarily positively�

�� shadowama: The title is Latin for �between the living.�

�� MewMew2:
Thank you! I will be trying to update every third day, but I�m not sure how
long I can keep that up.

�� Amethyste: Thanks for reviewing!
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Inter Vivos