Adult-FanFiction.org : Harry Potter

Too Much Of Not Enough	By : RikuRocks Category: Harry Potter AU/AR > Slash - Male/Male Views: 1782 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own any rights to Harry Potter, nor am I making any money from this work of fiction.

Chapter List
- 5
- 6
- 7
Severus was the first student in the Great Hall once the curfew lifted later in the morning; he ate his breakfast in record time, earning a few odd looks from his housemates before he headed straight to the library to utilise his new privileges. Normally, he would have been somewhat more discreet, but with OWLS only a month away, he knew this sudden increase in his studies would be overlooked.

When he had researched on werewolves before, he had had to be careful in which books he chose to read, so as not to draw any attention to what he was studying. In addition, he did not have proper clearance to check out many of the books in the restricted section, for he had technically been there for a Potion�s project. That meant he had had to browse the books quickly while standing in the restricted section. Now, he could take his time with them.

He selected Hairy Snout, Human Heart; as well as a disturbingly graphic text on the witch trials of the fifteenth century, which contained a section on the lesser-known werewolf trials of that time. He also chose a book on the persecution and monitoring of magical beasts with human or near-human intelligence, which included a chapter on poisoning and weakening a lycanthrope in both wolf and human form.
Additionally, he found a tome that spoke of how the public�s -both Muggle and magical- views on the magical or extraordinary has changed over time, which included a chapter on the image of werewolves. He was disappointed to find that there was very little known about the physiology or psychology of werewolves as a species.

Madam Pince made no comment about his selection as she cleared him to take the books, other than to warn him to be especially careful with the oldest and rarest texts. Considering that she knew both he and Remus by name already, having seen quite a lot of them over the past five years, she did not press the point, as Severus was sure she would with Potter and Black. The teenager moved to an empty table in a far corner of the library, where he was unlikely to be disturbed, and set to work.

The raven-haired teen did not know how long he had been working, but guessed that it was only a few hours before he was disturbed by the sound of a couple of unpleasantly familiar voices.

�I still don�t see why we have to do this report,� stated the irritated voice of Sirius Black. �We both passed our reports with flying colours when we covered them in DADA back in third year, and we hang out with-�

The obnoxious Gryffindor�s voice was suddenly muffled as though something were covering his mouth, before the voice of James Potter spoke over him, �That�s why we have to write this bloody report, Sirius, because you can�t keep your big mouth shut. The professors reckon we don�t know enough to take this seriously�and you aren�t helping to change that!�

There was a quick �shh� from another aisle before the two purebloods lowered their voices, although Severus could still make out most of their murmurs from his corner, where they clearly did not realise he was seated.

�It isn�t like I slipped up and let someone overhear anything,� commented Black quietly, �I told Snivelus where to go; that�s all.�

�That�s all?� repeated Potter in a harsh whisper. �We�re lucky we didn�t get expelled�and what about Moony? Dumbledore is telling him what happened right now. How do you think he�s going to take the news?�

Severus was just able to make out a quiet scoffing sound as he made a mental note to check and see if Remus was in fact conscious once he had heard Black�s response to that.

�Please, James, it�s Remus. He�ll act like a kicked dog for a few days, and then he�ll accept that it was just me being reckless, and we�ll all move on. How often does he make us feel guilty for picking on Snivelly or pulling a prank on someone?�

�All the damned time as of late,� commented Potter sulkily.

�Yeah, and he always gets over it within a couple days at the most,� replied Black. �It�ll be fine. Just don�t make a bigger deal out of it than you would any other stupid prank we�ve pulled.�

�We? Do you have a Doxie in your pocket? Because I don�t recall-�

�Hey James...?� Pettigrew�s voice interrupted the duo before the named boy could make his point, �I can�t find that book you asked me to grab�maybe someone else already checked it out.�

�Who would want that book?� questioned the bespectacled teenager. �Come on, Pete, let�s ask Madam Pince about it. Sirius, try to find that book we saw a couple years ago that mentioned that barmy wizard who liked to collect werewolf pelts or whatever it was��

Severus stood and quietly gathered his books and notes into his bag, planning to leave the library to check on Remus. However, the fact that Black was now alone in a private area where he could not resort to hexes without getting himself into serious, immediate trouble was too great an opportunity to pass up.

The obsidian-eyed teen silently entered the restricted section and found the aisle that Black was currently browsing. The other student was frowning and looking over the titles on the shelves with an air of disinterest.

�You know, I believe Dumbledore is placing too much faith in you,� Severus drawled, enjoying the way Black spun around to face him, reaching for his wand already. The obsidian-eyed teen shook his head slowly, �Tch, tch, tch�you don�t wan to do that, Black.�

�Oh, I rather think I do,� commented the grey-eyed teen with a smirk.

�And get into even more trouble when Madam Pince notices?� questioned Severus slowly. �We�re in the restricted section after all; she�d hardly fail to notice the first hex. Of course, perhaps it would be doing everyone a favour. As I was saying, the Headmaster is giving you far too much credit if he expects you to learn from your mistakes so easily.�

Black�s eyes narrowed, but he soon tucked away his wand with a sneer, �My mistake, Snivelus, was letting James go after you too soon.�

Severus sneered as well at that response, �You should be in Azkaban, not a school. You would actually kill two students just for kicks�� The raven-haired boy scoffed in disgust.

�I wouldn�t have killed anyone,� replied Black, beginning to sound angry, despite his attempts at feigning tedium.

�Oh yes, you would have,� Severus practically growled out the words. �You just would have used Remus as a murder weapon and then let the Ministry dispose of him for you.�

�Dumbledore wouldn�t have let anything happen to Remus,� stated Black, sounding completely confident. �If he let the truth get out, he�d have to admit to knowingly admitting a werewolf into the school. I�m sure he could find a suitable excuse for your death if he needed to�not that I think Remus would have actually killed you.�

�So you thought what exactly? That he would maim me and leave me with one of the foulest curses in existence?� commented the sallow-skinned boy incredulously. �Oh yes, that�s much better, Black. I�m sure both Remus and Dumbledore would have been fine with that. Really, what is the headmaster thinking in giving you this assignment? It�s clear that you will never learn what he wants you to.�

�What do you know about it?� snarled Black.

�I know that you and Potter have been forced to actually do the research yourselves for once,� Severus� tone matched the irate Gryffindor�s perfectly, �Of course it�s probably more to do with Dumbledore knowing he can�t trust a selfish, inbred pureblood with Remus anymore-�

�I�m more trustworthy with Moony than you�ll ever be, Snape!� barked the raven-haired pureblood. The girl who had shushed Potter earlier grabbed her books and fled to another section of the library. The grey-eyed teen was practically seething with anger now, �And stop saying �Remus� as if you two were good mates�it takes more than a few study sessions to know Moony!�

�Good thing I�ve spent far more than just a few study sessions with him then!� Severus hissed in reply, He was not sure of why he was so angry just then, but Black always did irritate him, so he did not see the need to ponder it much. He pushed the thought away for the time being. �I suppose I�ll be spending even more time with him now, since unlike you, Dumbledore has actually encouraged me to spend time with Remus while I work on my report. I�m sure he�ll be a wonderful asset, especially since he�ll be spending more time away from the likes of you.�

�You stay away from him,� growled Black, his voice low and cold.

Severus answered in a harsh tone �I hardly think you�re in any position to make demands on his behalf, Black�not after what you did last night.�

The grey-eyed Gryffindor scoffed lightly, �That just shows how little you know, Snivelus. Moony will understand-�

�Oh, yes,� interrupted the obsidian-eyed teen, �I heard you and Potter earlier. You think he will let you brush it off because he always does. Well maybe he�s just never had anyone else to show him that he doesn�t need to accept being used by his so-called friends.� Severus shook his head, his lip curled slightly, as the other boy�s mouth worked wordlessly while staring at the Slytherin with a furious glare. �You make me sick, Black; you and Potter.�

�Well I can see why someone with morals and good hygiene might make a slimy snake like you sick,� the grey-eyed teen sneered as he pulled out his wand. Severus did so as well, and the two boys moved in a slow circle, watching each other carefully as Black continued his tirade. �Remus is too polite for his own good; there�s no way someone as benevolent as him would actually want to spend time with a-�

�Sirius Black!� Both boys froze and turned their heads at the sound of a familiar, angry voice.

Lily approached them from the far end of the aisle, her eyes murderous and fixed on her fellow Gryffindor. Severus could not help but smirk at her arrival, while Black furrowed his brows, clearly trying to figure out what he had done to attract the redhead�s fury.

�How could you do something so stupid?� The green-eyed girl started in a heated whisper; walking right up to the boy without any fear for his wand or the few inches and several kilograms he had on her. �I know you and that Potter like to pull all your foolish stunts to get attention, but I thought even you two morons would have the sense not to do something that could land someone seriously injured�especially your friends! Remus is so bad off that Madam Pomfrey and Professor McGonagall have forbidden him any visitors and they�re saying he might have to be in there for days!�

Severus frowned, �When did you hear this?�

Surprisingly, considering how hostile she seemed seconds before, Lily�s expression softened slightly when she looked at her old friend. �I asked around when I didn�t see him at breakfast or in the common room this morning and Professor McGonagall told me. She said he had a bad night, and there might be some permanent damage, but he�ll be all right in a few weeks.� The girl�s suddenly gentle voice and eyes hardened again as she looked back at Back, �And it�s entirely your fault! Really, a thestral; what were you thinking?�

Both boys blinked, and then Severus� frown deepened while Black�s eyebrows raised questioningly, �What about a thestral?�

�Oh, don�t play dumb with me, Black,� snapped the redhead. �I cornered Pettigrew on my way over here and he spilled everything about your antics last night.�

Severus arched an eyebrow. He knew that the blonde boy was a good liar, but he found it hard to believe that he could come up with an acceptable story already. �What exactly did he tell you?�

Again, Lily seemed calmer, almost comforting, when she addressed the Slytherin. �He told me that Black,� she shot the named boy a heated glare for good measure before turning her attention back to her friend, �Thought it would be entertaining to trap a thestral in the Great Hall last night. Then, everyone would startle it when they trounced in for breakfast, but practically no one would be able to see what was causing the commotion. That�s why he sent you on that wild goose chase by the Whomping Willow last night�he didn�t want you to find out what he was up to in the Forbidden Forest.�

Another death glare was aimed at the grey-eyed boy before Lily turned back to Severus and placed a gentle hand on his arm; �While Potter was busy stopping you from getting pummelled by that horrible tree, Remus found out what Black was up to and stopped him. Apparently, he can see thestrals; you should ask him about that sometime -but not now, obviously. Anyway, he was injured very badly by either the thestral or something in the forest -Pettigrew wasn�t sure exactly what did it- while he was trying to sort everything out.�

Severus could not speak for a moment as he tried to figure out whether Pettigrew was insane or brilliant. He decided on the former, but Lily spoke again before he could say anything.

�Why were you out near the forest last night anyway?�

Obsidian eyes blinked, but he decided that the rumour mill would take care of the details for him, �I was looking for Remus.�

Black turned to Severus angrily and opened his mouth to say something, no doubt unpleasant, to the other boy. However, both Lily and Severus acted first. The obsidian-eyed teen simply struck the boy with a spell he had designed the previous year, which he called Langlock. At the same time, Lily struck the raven-haired Gryffindor with a Levicorpus spell.

The two friends smirked as the grey-eyed teen dangled in the air from his ankle, mumbling, since his tongue was stuck to the roof of his mouth.

�Well, that was a good combination,� commented the green-eyed girl as she observed their handiwork. Then, she addressed Black, �Maybe by the time someone finds you, all the extra blood flow to your brain will have jumpstarted it. Come on, Severus.�

With a smirk, the raven-haired boy grabbed his book bag and followed his friend out of the library.

Once in the hall, she turned to him again, a strange and oddly familiar glint to her eyes. �McGonagall asked me to tell you something once I found you; the professors don�t want Remus to fall behind in his studies, especially with OWLS coming up, so they�re assigning you to bring him our assignments until he can return to class. She wants you to go meet her in the infirmary right now so she can explain it to you two.�

The sallow-skinned Slytherin was briefly confused, until he realised that the professors would need some excuse as to why they were sending Severus to the hospital wing when he was perfectly healthy�and why he was permitted to see an injured student that no one else was allowed to see. He nodded to the redhead, �Thank you, Lily. I�ll go right away then; you know how Remus hates to fall behind.�

The girl nodded with a small smile. �Oh, wait,� she called lightly when Severus turned to head to the infirmary. He turned back just in time to see her pull a small box from her knapsack. �Here, give this to Remus, as a get well present. Tell him it�s from you.�

Severus took the proffered box with an arched eyebrow, quickly establishing that it was a box of assorted chocolates from Honeyduke�s. Lily grinned, �You can get me a few of those truffles I like during the next Hogsmeade trip to pay me back. Now go on. I�ll see you later. Tell Remus I said �hi�.�

The obsidian-eyed boy simply shook his head as his friend turned and walked away with a sparkle to her eyes and a bit of a spring to her step. Deciding that he had more pressing matters to think on, the raven-haired teen turned and stuffed the box of chocolates into his book bag as he headed to the infirmary.

Madam Pomfrey and Professor McGonagall were having an intense, whispered conversation when Severus arrived in the infirmary. They immediately stopped speaking and turned to intercept him upon noticing his arrival.

�Good morning, Mr Snape,� greeted the Gryffindor Head of House with a curt nod. �I presume that Ms Evans delivered my message?� The raven-haired boy merely nodded, keeping what he hoped was a look of polite disinterest on his face. By McGonagall�s once-over, he supposed he was successful enough. �Professor Dumbledore told me that he has informed you of your special assignment. I trust you will utilise your new privileges responsibly and that you understand Mr Lupin is not simply a specimen to be used. You will be respectful of your classmate during your research.�

Severus had to strain to keep his voice even, wondering if the woman honestly thought he was going to try to dissect Remus or something equally unimaginable; �Understood, madam.�

The strict professor nodded once more, �Well then, I shall leave you to your studies. Please feel free to contact Madam Pomfrey or me with any questions you might have. Professor Crowley has also asked me to tell you that he will try to make himself available to answer any questions that you might have on the subject.� McGonagall�s tone suggested a rather poor perception of the DADA professor.
Remembering the man�s attitude the previous night -especially the way he referred to Remus- Severus could not help but think that the usually proper woman probably had good cause to feel that way. Still, he supposed it would not hurt to speak to Professor Crowley. Not only might the man have an advanced knowledge of dark creatures, but Severus also thought it might be useful to hear what sort of prejudices someone who was educated about werewolves could have.

Once Severus acknowledged his understanding, the Transfiguration professor left the hospital wing, leaving the raven-haired teen with Madam Pomfrey.

Severus had never truly thought much of the school�s matron. He knew that she was an exceptionally gifted healer and witch, but she did not have the daily interaction with the students that the rest of the staff did, and she rarely showed any sort of favouritism or fondness toward the students, preferring to be all business. This had left many students to disregard the woman until they were injured or took ill and became her charge until they were recovered, which rarely took more than a couple days at the most. Once they were out of her care, Madam Pomfrey did not seem to care what the children did, as long as they were not risking their health.

However, the stern expression that the Matron was fixing him with made Severus realise that he needed to re-evaluate his opinion of the nurse.

�Mr Snape,� Madam Pomfrey began, making no effort to hide her displeasure, �I have been asked by the headmaster to give you access to my patient. Note that I have said �asked�. In this ward, I make the final decisions. Normally, I would not allow anyone to see Mr Lupin for another two days in this condition; however, I understand the circumstances. That said, I must make one thing perfectly clear; if you do or say anything to upset my patient while he is recovering, I will not allow you access to him until he has recovered fully. Understood?�

�Of course;� The obsidian-eyed teen glanced at a far section of the hospital wing. The entrance to said wing was blocked by a thick curtain, which was no doubt spelled for silence. That particular ward was rarely used, as it was for heavy spell damage and any sensitive or highly contagious conditions. Being a school wing as opposed to an actual hospital, the area was rarely needed. The Slytherin noted that the beds in the standard ward were all empty.

Severus turned back to Madam Pomfrey, �How is he?�

The matron looked him over thoughtfully before offering an approving nod. Then, her expression fell slightly as she turned her gaze to the curtain that separated Remus from the rest of the school. �Lycanthropy is a very painful and draining curse. There is no cure, as I�m sure you know, and there is very little that can be done to make those suffering from it any more comfortable.

�I am told that Mr Lupin�s transformations at the school are much less damaging than the ones he suffers at home. Sadly, by the scars and the state he usually returns to the school in, I would have to concur with that. You see, a werewolf�s body has to prepare for the change beforehand, which weakens them. Then, the transformation itself is�terrible. Every bone, muscle, nerve -everything- is brutally rearranged. It isn�t smooth and painless like the transfigurations of an Animagi, such as Professor McGonagall.�

Madam Pomfrey looked at Severus again, seeming to think briefly before continuing. �Werewolves tend to seek out human prey. Since Remus denies that to the creature he becomes, the wolf attacks itself. Perhaps it smells the residue of the boy on itself or perhaps it is simply angry. I don�t know, but it injures him badly, and werewolf wounds cannot be healed magically. I can use salves and potions to help it along, but I cannot just close the wound as I could if a student accidentally cut himself or herself.
�Normally, it takes a day or two before Remus is up for any sort of normal activities, but even then, it is rare for him to have healed entirely yet. Of course, we try to keep him here as short a time as possible, so as not to draw attention to his absences. Unlike Professors McGonagall and Slughorn, I am not surprised in the least that Remus� dorm mates would notice and question his disappearances.�

The matron�s eyes suddenly hardened, �Although I am surprised and immeasurably disappointed that they would use Remus for such a low handed trick. To think what might have happened to you boys. They got off easy, if you ask me.�

Severus found himself re-evaluating his opinion of the nurse once again. He suddenly found himself with a new level of respect, and even a mild fondness, for the woman. �What about his condition right now? I heard-� The teenager swallowed before continuing levelly, hoping the matron would not comment on his slip. �It sounded like he might be in a worse state this time.�

�He is,� stated Madam Pomfrey. Severus noticed that her eyes seemed especially moist just then, but decided to return the favour and not comment on it. �In the years that I have treated that boy, he has never come so close to�killing himself.�

The sallow-skinned boy frowned and turned back to the curtain; �Will he be all right?�

�He�ll live�and he should recover almost completely,� replied the matron, not sounding as pleased as Severus would have expected, but he supposed a healer would look at the situation differently. �It will take longer this time though, and he won�t be able to hide it.�

�How�obvious are his wounds?� asked the raven-haired teen, trying to think quickly. �Pettigrew has already started spreading rumours that it was a thestral attack�or some other creature in the Forbidden Forrest; could that be believed?�

The patron made a rather undignified sound somewhere between a laugh and a sob before nodding and wiping under one of her eyes. �Yes, that might work. I believe Mr Pettigrew deserves more credit than he is given. He may not be as bright or talented as his friends, but he has his own strong points. Even if no one believes it was a thestral, an attack will explain the wounds and give the students leave to fill in the blanks on their own. I�m sure the �truth� will be accepted soon enough and everyone will move on. At least they won�t question where the injuries came from.�

That last comment caused Severus to frown slightly. Remus had always hidden his injuries and scars well before; he did not want to think of what condition the other boy might be in if the matron was so certain that he would not be able to this time. �Should I come back another time? Will he be�up for this?�

Madam Pomfrey smiled at the boy for the first time that he could ever recall. �Perhaps, you could make this one just a friendly visit? He really should not suffer any upsets for a couple days, but I dare say that he might like some company. As I said, I will be keeping him here longer than usual. Even for someone as solitary as Remus, that can be hard�especially after what happened. I think being accepted right now will help in his recovery. Do you think you can do that?�

The question took Severus by surprise. He could see an image of Remus in his mind�s eye, and despite everything he had read claiming that werewolves were monsters, he could not think of the boy as such. �Yes.�

Madam Pomfrey pointed her wand at the thick curtain, causing it to billow slightly. She then passed through, speaking over shoulder, �Wait by the entrance, please. I will make sure he hasn�t drifted off again before you disturb him. His sleep is commonly disturbed by nightmares once he shifts from unconsciousness to simple sleeping, so I�d like to leave his rest as undisturbed as possible.�

The obsidian-eyed boy made a mental note of the head nurse�s final comment, and then looked around once he passed through the curtain. The ward had an even stronger air of sterility to it, and had fewer beds than the regular recovery ward. All of the beds were empty, save for one, which was closest to the room�s only window. The privacy curtains were pulled around the bed, hiding the occupant.
Severus could hear Madam Pomfrey speaking gently, but the words sounded oddly muffled, preventing him from making them out. He assumed the curtains were spelled to ensure that the patients could call upon the matron should they need anything, but still offer some privacy�or prevent anyone else from hearing should the patient be making any sounds of pain or discomfort. The Slytherin tried not to think of that any more.

Madam Pomfrey soon exited the privacy curtains and motioned for Severus to join her. �He�s awake and coherent. You may speak to him for a couple of hours, but then he will need to rest�he is more fragile right now than he seems. I understand that this might be an emotional conversation, but keep in mind that I am trusting you not to cause him any unnecessary upset. I�ll leave you two alone for the time being and return when it is time for you to leave.�

The raven-haired teen managed to offer the matron a small smile as he nodded. Between the reputation of his house and his appearance, he was not used to be trusted so openly, and found himself once again feeling a new sort of respect fro the nurse. Then, she was gone and the obsidian-eyed boy was left staring at the thin curtain for a moment before he took a deep breath and brushed it aside, letting fall behind him quietly before looking at the bed and the boy lying on it.

Remus was propped up slightly on a few pillows. Aside from many bruises and scratches, the left side of his face was completely bandaged over, save for his mouth. His left hand sported heavy bandages as well, and Severus could see more bandages through the thin hospital gown the fawn-haired boy was wearing. It appeared that more of him was covered in bandages and bruises than not.

Remus� pale face, at least what remained visible of it, looked worn, ashamed, and upset. Even so, there was an unusual distant quality to the emotions, as though a part of the boy�s mind was elsewhere, studying them. His uncovered eye moved over Severus quickly, as though verifying that he was all right, before fixing on his face. The brown-eyed boy looked apologetic as well then. He opened his mouth to say something, closed it, and then looked down at his bruised and bandaged hands. �I�m sorry.�

The words were spoken so quietly that Severus was not sure he had actually heard them. �Beg pardon?�

Remorseful brown eyes rose to meet the taller boy�s again as Remus took a steadying breath, �I�m so sorry, Severus. I- I never meant- I-�

�Why in Merlin�s name are you apologising?� snapped the raven-haired teen. �Were you aware of what Black and Potter were going to do last night?�

�No,� Remus� voice gained some strength, although it sounded hoarse, as though his throat were damaged. �I never would have allowed this, I-� The scarred teen looked away, suddenly sounding more dejected than ever, �I never thought he��

The obsidian-eyed boy sighed, suddenly understanding something as his friend trailed off with a lost gesture. While to Severus, this was just the final deed needed to prove that he had always been right about his rivals, to Remus this had proved that he had always been wrong about his friends. He had little experience in friendships, but Severus knew that had to be hard�especially considering how Remus had learned the much-needed lesson.

Looking around the small curtained off area, Severus thought wildly for something that might comfort the injured teen. His eyes fell upon the corner of the box that Lily had forced upon him, sticking out from his bag. �Here,� he offered the box to Remus, who looked confused. �These are for you�sort of a �get well� gift. They�re chocolates from Honeyduke�s;� He gave the box a small shake to emphasise, wondering why the other boy wasn�t moving and thinking that perhaps he was not accustomed to such presents.

The fawn-haired boy tentatively took the proffered gift, and then looked from the box to Severus with a dull, puzzled expression. �Don�t-� Golden brown eyes searched Severus� face cautiously, and the tone of Remus� hoarse voice matched the sentiment. ��Don�t you hate me?�

�What?� Obsidian eyes widened as Severus gaped at the smaller boy for a moment. �Why would I hate you? You aren�t the one who tried to murder me;� Severus sat down in a chair beside the bed, watching the other boy�s lost yet guilt ridden expression. �What do you remember?�

The shorter boy�s voice shook slightly as he replied, �Practically nothing�I never remember anything past the transformations. Well, sometimes I get flashes in my sleep, but�� Remus suddenly paled further, which Severus had not thought was possible, �I-It-�

The obsidian-eyed teen held up a hand to stop his friend, who was obviously growing more upset as he tried to speak about his transformations and the accompanying amnesia. �Calm down, Remus. We can go over all that some other time. Dumbledore explained what happened, correct?�

The brown-eyed teen nodded so sadly, that Severus was tempted to ask what exactly he had been told, but decided that could wait until his next visit. Madam Pomfrey had been right; Remus looked terrible physically and was clearly near a breaking point emotionally. Right now, he needed to be treated like a person, not a project.

�I�m sorry,� Remus stated again, surprising the raven-haired boy out of his thoughts. �I should have told you�what I am. None of this would have happened if I had just stopped pretending to be something I�m not.�

Severus� brows furrowed slightly, �And what is that?�

�Human.� The brown-eyed boy did not say it pitifully or angrily, but merely stated it as he would any unfortunate fact. Somehow, the taller boy found that disturbing in itself.

Severus wished that he could argue that point, but they both knew better.

�You were right not to tell me,� he said instead, deciding that he might as well argue what he could if it would ease his friend�s conscience a little. �You can�t go around telling anyone who treats you nicely that you�re a werewolf. It would be dangerous and stupid; you could never be certain of the reaction you would receive and it would likely be unpleasant at best. �Which is exactly why I didn�t say anything to you when I began suspecting that you suffered from lycanthropy months ago.�

The fawn-haired boy looked shocked, �That long�?�

�Remember that I am at the head of the class with you in DADA,� commented Severus, before smirking slightly to take the edge off what he said next; �I may not share your talents in Care of Magical Creatures, but that doesn�t mean I don�t know how to recognise one when I see him.� He trusted that Remus would take that the right way and was not disappointed, as he saw the first glimmers of hope and relief shine in the other boy�s eyes.

Still, Remus seemed more cautious then he normally was with Severus, although his tone during the next statement was an improvement from the previous ones. �You aren�t disgusted or afraid�or angry?�

�At you, no,� Severus replied evenly and immediately; �Black and Potter are another matter.�

�What about�last night?� asked the brown-eyed boy carefully, not bothering to try to defend his friends as he normally would. Severus decided to take that as a good sign. �Weren�t you then?�

The obsidian-eyed boy looked his friend over closely, deciding just how much he should say. He quickly realised that Remus would see through any lie he could offer, and would likely misjudge it in some self-deprecating way. With a sigh, he began, �Yes, I was afraid and angry, and a little disgusted -but not by you.� He hastened to add the last part when Remus� eyes grew dejected.
The shorter boy offered a disbelieving look, and so Severus explained further. �I did not care for the situation. Black and Potter�s actions, as well as seeing the pain inflicted on you -knowing what this curse does to you- that is what I found frightening and disgusting, and of course it made me angry.� Severus allowed his eyes to wander over the bed sheets, attempting to sound as calm as possible. �You don�t deserve any of it�you aren�t what the books say you are.�

After a brief moment of heavy silence, obsidian eyes roamed over to meet golden brown ones again, and Severus found himself at a complete loss when he they finally did meet. Remus looked torn in so many different directions that the taller boy was sure he would be torn apart at any moment.

Finally, the fawn-haired boy shook his head with a sad, regretful smile and tear-filled eyes. �Yes, I am.� Remus held up his bandaged hand weakly; the gesture still managed to prevent Severus from speaking. The brown-eyed boy shook his head slowly and then looked down at his lap. �I-if you and James hadn�t left like you did last night�I- I would have�hurt you�or worse. It�s the last thing I would ever want to do�but�I-I would have��

The raven-haired teen frowned again as his friend was clearly unable to speak any more. Remus shook his head again before looking away, wiping at his visible eye as discreetly as possible. Severus thought that he should not focus his concern on the physical agony of Remus� transformations.

The raven-haired teen had even less experience in consoling others than he did in befriending them, but he had already broken most of his norms with the scarred boy before him, so he decided to try. Deciding that he should probably start by getting his friend to look at him again, the obsidian-eyed boy hesitantly placed a hand on the other teen�s shoulder, and tried not to grip too tightly when he felt bandages underneath the thin hospital robe.
He had intended to reinforce his earlier statement because he still did not believe that Remus was quite what he had been lead to believe werewolves were. However, the words died in his throat when the fawn-haired teen finally turned to look at him once more.

Everything that Remus felt about the incident from the previous night, and from every other night that he had to experience the terrible transformations, everything he kept hidden to protect his parents, Dumbledore and himself, every thought and feeling that he never expressed, seemed to be screaming through his eyes�

Severus was not sure what it all meant or exactly what had happened to the boy he had only recently realised his feelings for, but he knew he never wanted to see it again. He also knew this was not a simple matter of alleviating his friend�s guilt from the previous evening.

�Don�t you see�? That proves that you don�t deserve this.� Severus was not sure why he spoke the words so softly, but they captured his friend�s attention just as well in the quiet room. �A monster would not care enough to take such measures to ensure that he remained the only victim of his curse. You go beyond what the Ministry insists that you do to achieve that.�

�Then why am I here?� Remus whispered softly, almost as though he were talking to himself. Brown eyes turned to the raven-haired teen once again, now looking exhausted. �You�d never be at risk if I weren�t here�I- It was selfish of me to come here. I should never have accepted Professor Dumbledore�s offer�I-�

�You what�?� interrupted the obsidian-eyed boy, frowning irritably at his friend. �Do you think you should have stayed home, caged like an animal, while your parents forced Merlin knows what sorts of amateur cures on you? That is what they did, isn�t it? Why you said that hurting you was never their intention�? I read about some of the experiments that-� Severus cut himself short and sat straight in his chair, squeezing his eyes and hands closed tightly as he recognised that he was growing far too angry. He had worked out the likely details in his mind as he spoke, and each new possibility made him more furious.

After taking a deep breath, the raven-haired teen looked at his friend, to find that Remus was no longer looking at him. The smaller boy was looking down at the pristine sheets covering his bandaged body, but was clearly not seeing them. His face looked fatigued and pained, his body was trembling, and his eyes appeared distant and tormented. Severus mentally cursed his temper.

�Remus I-� The obsidian-eyed boy sighed and shook his head. He had truly intended this to be just a friendly visit as Madam Pomfrey had suggested, but somehow, he had said the worst things possible to assure his friend. �I�m�not good at this sort of thing,� he admitted quietly. �I�ve never truly tried to help anyone before. I didn�t mean to upset you or question you. Despite what you may believe, I don�t believe that you deserve to suffer as you do and have for years�and I�m angry that there are so many gits -who are considered good people at that- who have only added to your misery.�

The fawn-haired teen hesitantly turned to his friend again. Instead of the fear or anger that the taller boy had expected to see on his face, Remus looked much as he had before, only now he seemed curious as well�and almost awed.

Severus was not sure what to make of the change in his friend�s emotions, but he decided that neither of them were in the right frame of mind for any questions now. Instead, he reached out to return his hand to Remus� shoulder. �I know you probably don�t need my anger right now. In fact, it looks like you could use a good deal of rest at the moment. I�ll leave you so you can sleep. May- Do you mind if I come to see you again tonight?�

The scarred boy shook his head slowly. While it was clear that he was acknowledging his friend, it appeared as though he were contemplating an idea that was foreign to him. Severus was not sure what to make of that either, and decided to mention to Madam Pomfrey on the way out that she might want to keep a close eye on the fawn-haired boy. To Remus, he only nodded in return as he stood; �I�ll see you later then.�

The raven-haired teen let his hand drop from his friend�s shoulder as he turned, but he only managed to take one step before he felt a slightly smaller hand grasp his lightly. Turning around again, Severus saw that Remus still looked worn, pained, and confused.

�Thank you, Severus,� Remus stated softly, sounding as worn as he looked, but also more stable than he had before, �For everything. I never expected anyone to become so�riled for me� You�re a good friend.�

Severus� mouth twisted up in a small smile, both at his friend�s words and the fact that Remus was falling further into his pillow, clearly drifting towards slumber as he still maintained a weak grip on the taller boy�s hand. The obsidian-eyed teen squeezed the slightly smaller hand lightly and then brushed Remus� hair away from his non-bandaged eye with his free hand. The raven-haired boy was not sure that he would consider himself a good friend or not, but the fact that the fawn-haired boy thought so highly of him caused a strange warmth in his torso.

Several moments passed before Severus noticed that Remus was asleep and that he was still holding the shorter boy�s hand and stroking his hair. He immediately stopped the latter motion, then felt his face heat up as Remus released a small sigh, causing him to realise that his hand was cupping the scarred boy�s undamaged cheek. He cursed quietly as he quickly removed his hand, and then watched the fawn-haired boy for a moment to make sure he did not wake him.

The moment dragged out once again, only Severus was well aware that he was staring this time. He was also aware of his frantic heartbeat and heavy breathing, as well as a familiar heat that was jumping back and forth between his chest and groin. Very slowly, so as not to wake his slumbering friend, the obsidian-eyed teen stepped forward and brushed a hand over Remus� face once more, causing the scarred boy to release another sigh. Remus still did not move or show any signs of wakefulness.

Without thinking, Severus leaned down and placed a soft kiss on the other boy�s lips.

For the span of a heartbeat, he remembered what it had felt like the first time he discovered magic was real. Then, he broke the kiss slowly, and felt a completely new sort of charge in his lips in fingertips.

The raven-haired teen held his breath as Remus made a sleepy, contended sound before nuzzling deeper into his pillow without waking.

Severus released a heavy breath before leaving the room as quickly and quietly as possible. As he found himself wandering the corridors some time later, he could only vaguely recall informing Madam Pomfrey that Remus was resting as he left; his mind blissfully blank for a moment as his lips and heart tingled. Then, awareness returned and Severus had to stop to even his breathing as he realised what he had just done. Despite his panicked state, the raven-haired teen found that he still did not regret it�that was when he knew he was in trouble.

Deciding it was finally time to consider drastic measures, Severus turned down another corridor, this time with a purpose.

He needed to find Lily�immediately.
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