Adult-FanFiction.org : Harry Potter

The Long-Desired	By : Lomonaaeren Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Harry/Draco Views: 12097 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter; that belongs to J. K. Rowling. I am making no money from this fic.

Chapter List
- 1-The Long-Desired
- 2-Part 2
- 3-Part 3
- 4-Part 4
- 5-Part 5
- 6-Part 6
- 7-Part 7
- 8-Part 8
- 9-Part 9
- 10-Part 10
- 11-Part 11
- 12-Part 12
- 13-Part 13
- 5
- 6
- 7
Thank you again for all the reviews!

�� Harry
closed his eyes. He had long since cleaned up the blood and the glass and taken
the hawk�s battered body from the room so that he could bury it on the moor a
good distance from the house. If he didn�t choose to think about it, then there
was no reminder of what he�d done here to make
him think about it.

�� But his
memories were still there, and they filled his head with pounding guilt that
felt a lot like a headache.

�� Harry
leaned back against the wall and laid his arm over his eyes. The image of the
hawk was the sharpest memory, playing over and over again. He could envision
the exact jags of the wounds through its wings. He could hear its pained
screams. He could see the way its claws had curled, desperate for something to
tear, some enemy it could grasp and wound to stop its suffering.

�� He had
ended the suffering at last by falling on top of it and crushing it. Malfoy had
estimated that the bird had been dead shortly after it tore the wound in
Harry�s belly.

�� But that
hardly made him feel better when he had caused that anguish in the first place.

�� I was able to separate myself from the
vampires in my mind because they hunted and killed all kinds of people,
innocent or not, and I only hunted the guilty ones. But now I�ve used a Dark
ritual to cause harm to an innocent. And it was an animal, which has fewer
means of defending itself than a human. How in the world can I claim that I�m
much different from the vampires, now?

�� He didn�t
know. And he thought the doubt would probably follow him and torment him for
years. If he was never free from its shadow, then it would be no less than he
deserved.

�� Harry took
a deep breath and sat up. The hardest thing wasn�t facing the guilt. Come to
that, it was fairly easy to admit that he had crossed a line he shouldn�t have
crossed. There was no excuse for turning to Dark magic, no matter what
happened.

�� The hardest
thing would be admitting to Hermione and Ron what had happened to him, and
asking for their help to get back to normal.

�� Harry
buried his head in his hands again. He didn�t want to do this. They would make
him go into St. Mungo�s, he knew it. Then Malfoy would be free to visit him
whenever he wanted. The hospital didn�t think it worthwhile to construct
anti-vampire wards, when they believed there were so few rogue vampires with a
desire to get inside.

�� Harry could
have given them a lecture on certain statistics and what a wounded vampire was
likely to do to get blood that would have made them shiver in terror.

�� He had
changed certain things. He had admitted certain things. But there were others
he could neither change nor admit. He couldn�t give up control of his life to
his friends, and he couldn�t give up control of his relationship with Malfoy.
Even if they had to meet in order to survive�and because Malfoy wanted his
blood and because Harry wanted to feel the strength and pleasure that the
sharing of magic had given him�Harry needed it to be on his terms and his ground.

�� So he
somehow had to tell the truth to his friends and make the extent of his
corruption clear to them without giving them enough evidence that they would
demand St. Mungo�s for him.

�� Easier said than done.

�� Harry
nibbled his lip, frowning. There was no simple solution here. Hermione would
reject him over anything less than complete honesty. Ron might reject him for it. Malfoy would reject Harry giving
in only to his friends and not to him.

�� And in the
middle of them was Harry, who wanted to do the right thing but didn�t want it
to cost him too much, while being aware that a high cost might be one sign of
something that would actually help him.

�� In the end,
he sighed in disgust and reached for the Floo powder. Of all of them, Hermione
was the most predictable and the easiest to deal with. He would try her first.

*

�� You did what?�

�� Harry
winced and bowed his head. Hermione�s voice was low instead of the high
screeching pitch that he had imagined. That made it worse. It brought home,
among other things, the full force of her horror at his crime.

�� I
conducted a Dark magic ritual�� he began.

�� I heard
you the first time, Harry. It was a rhetorical question.� Hermione put her
hands over her face and spent a few minutes sitting like that. Harry wondered
if she would cut off the Floo connection and leave him to brood while she
contacted the Ministry and St. Mungo�s. And maybe someone else, too. Was there
a wizarding society for the prevention of cruelty to animals? Harry had never
heard of them if there was.

�� All
right,� Hermione said at last, her voice the sharp one that automatically
brought Harry�s head up. �This is what we�re going to do.� She had her hands on
her hips now, and she stood there looking grimly down at Harry as though she
were contemplating cleaning up a puddle of blood and vomit. �You�re going to
give me the Dark Arts book that you found this ritual in, and whatever other
ones you have. They need to be taken away and burned. Or buried.� Harry managed
a wan smile; even when she knew they were dangerous, it was hard for Hermione
to think about destroying books. �If you give them to me, at least I know that
you can�t perform any more rituals or spells out of them.�

�� Harry
nodded. He hadn�t thought of that solution himself, but it was a gesture of
good faith that would matter to Hermione, and one that he was more than willing
to perform.

�� Next,�
Hermione said, �I want to speak to both you and Malfoy in person sometime soon.
Tonight�s impractical for several reasons. But tomorrow night or the night
after that. I want to understand more about the limitations of this bond and
what he needs in order to bring you back to sanity.�

�� You�re not
sending me to St. Mungo�s?� Harry asked, not believing his ears.

�� There�s
too much,� Hermione said. �The Auror
Department would have to know the truth about why you needed time in St.
Mungo�s, and so would the Mind-Healers. And trying to explain about Malfoy, the
vampires, Ginny�s death and why you have this desire to kill vampires to avenge
her murder, the Long-Desired bond, and everything else would cause
misunderstandings and give them information about you that they have no right
to possess.�

�� Harry
stared at her in gratitude. �Thank you,� he whispered. �I thought�I thought you
would be honest before anything else.�

�� Hermione
gave him a grim, cutting smile. �I want my friend
back before anything else,� she answered. �I doubt that the Ministry or St.
Mungo�s would have that as their primary goal. So I�ll do what�s needed to
spare you�a little.� She paused, then added in a voice as sharp as her smile.
�In the end, what I demand of you is going to be harder than what you would go
through if I took you in to the Mind-Healers. You may not thank me for it in
the end.�

�� Harry
stifled the indignant words that rose to his lips. He knew in the bottom of his
heart that he didn�t deserve a friend like Hermione after everything that he�d
done to drive her away. If she asked hard tasks of him, then he should perform
them.

�� Now.�
Hermione stepped back. �I�m going to come through to your house and take the
books away. Shut the Floo connection so that I can.�

�� Hermione?�
Harry couldn�t let her come ahead without saying this.

�� She cocked
her head at him, and reminded him, painfully, of a hawk that was about to
pounce on a mouse.

�� Thank
you.�

�� There was a
slight softening about her eyes and mouth, probably not noticeable to anyone
who hadn�t known her as long as Harry had. �Thank me when we see how it works.�
Then she moved away, and Harry shut the Floo connection and stepped back from
the hearth, hopeful that it was a step on a path that would lead him to the
person he had once been.

*

�� I have a
proposition for you, Malfoy.�

�� Draco
lifted his head and sniffed delicately. After the way Harry had behaved the
other evening, when he must already have been thinking of some way to break the
bond if he could, Draco was going to pay more attention to his nose when it
came to detecting lies, and not just what he heard in his Long-Desired�s words.

�� But Harry smelled
as honest as earth. Draco allowed himself to step closer, running approving
eyes over the folded arms, the taut shoulders, the green eyes that met his
directly, full of cold anger. �Yes?� he asked.

�� I told
Hermione the truth about the ritual I performed,� Harry said. He shifted back
and forth, stamping one foot on the ground as if he was cold. Maybe he was.
They were meeting out on the open moor, beyond his wards again. Draco knew
better than to object, given that he had broken both Harry�s defenses and his
promise to stay away when he intervened in the ritual. �She wants to talk to
both of us at once. Not tonight, but tomorrow night, preferably.�

�� My time is
yours.� Draco spread his hands. �As your blood is mine.�

�� He meant it
for a challenge, and Harry took it that way. He shook his head, hunching in on
himself. This time, he wasn�t cold, Draco was certain. He was working himself
up to spring instead. �You can�t have it whenever you want it.�

�� Of course
not,� Draco said. �If I had as much as I want at all times, I should drain you
dry. Luckily, I have some sense of
restraint and some conception of waiting for good things in the future.� He
ignored Harry�s incredulous snort, instead stepping towards him and tipping his
head so that he could sniff at his neck. Harry glared at him, but stood still.
�Instead, I shall ask for it, and then take it.�

�� Harry
snorted again. �What makes you think that I�ll simply give you what you want,
no matter how politely you ask?�

�� Do the
words �saving your life and soul and magic and mind� mean anything to you?�
Draco slid one hand up behind Harry�s neck.

�� Harry�s
eyes flared with rage. Draco sighed as he hardened. He had dreamed of his
Long-Desired submitting willingly to him, but now he wasn�t at all sure he
wanted that. Instead, he wanted the challenge, the fight, the prancing about
and declarations of rage like a stag in the rut, and then the submission.

�� I owe you
something for that,� Harry said, his voice low and savage. �Maybe even a few
drinks. But not the rest of my life.�

�� Of course
not.� Draco let his fingers slide in a tickling motion over Harry�s chin and
cheek, up through his hair, down again so that he was toying with the folds of
the skin on the back of Harry�s neck. Harry shuddered and considered him with
his eyes narrowed. He still looked dangerous, but he never would have let Draco
come this close before, so Draco counted it as a victory. �I wouldn�t want this
to be based on gratitude. But you shouldn�t simply decide that you�re going to
refuse me at this point, either. I want you to let me drink a few times, and
then make a decision.�

�� You�re hoping
the pleasure will weaken me.� Harry caught Draco�s hand and held it still.
Draco could have broken free with no greater effort than a single twist, but he
found a heady delight in the way Harry clenched his fingers down as if he could
break Draco�s bones. Harry glared at him. �I don�t care how good you smell
right now, I have no intention of playing along.�

�� How good I
smell?� Draco cocked his head with innocent interest.

�� Harry
grimaced, but he was too proud to pretend he hadn�t said something. �You used
to smell like graves and corpses,� he said. �Now you smell like blood. As if
you were alive, somehow. I noticed it�last night.� His face flushed, and he
glanced away. Draco could hear his heart throbbing.

�� Last night
is a sacred time for me, too,� Draco said gently. �You need not be ashamed of
pausing before you name it.�

�� Harry
turned back to him. �Why did your smell change?�

�� I have no
idea,� Draco said. �If you let me have the books I gave you back, then perhaps
I could find some information in them pertaining to the way that the
Long-Desired bond changes the vampire when one partner accepts it.� He smiled,
making sure to show his fangs. �Or you could invite me into the house, and we
could look at the books together.�

�� Harry�s
eyes half-lidded, and his heartbeat slowed as he thought. Draco hoped that his
thoughts were running along the same track as Draco�s: that they would be
together soon enough in one space thanks to Granger�s demand, and that he would learn more if he had someone
familiar with the books and their odd, rambling organization at his shoulder.

�� Draco�s
fingers twitched, but he restrained himself from reaching out and seizing the
back of Harry�s head to bring their mouths together in a kiss, as he longed to
do. He would simply have to live with Harry�s pace of decision-making. Shove
too hard, and he would push this tentative trust in him over a cliff and dash
it to pieces on the ground below.

�� I won�t
invite you into the house,� Harry said. �I will bring the books out here.� He
looked around as though he were evaluating the stretch of open moor as a
meeting place. �And I�ll tell Hermione that I want us to meet here, as well.�
He looked at Draco and raised an eyebrow. �Tomorrow at ten?�

�� Draco
nodded, amused at Harry�s combination of imperiousness in setting the place and
politeness in asking about the time. Then he coughed and shifted closer. �There
remains the small matter of tonight,� he whispered.

�� Harry�s
head twitched. His pulse beat wildly for a moment, and then subsided. He folded
his arms and looked away. �If you must, Malfoy,� he said, in a voice that
concealed his eagerness but not the way he spread his legs slightly and leaned
forwards.

�� That�s the way he wants to play it. He�s
going to try his best to be unaffected while I�m biting him.

�� Draco had
no objections to such a contest, particularly when he knew that it was one he
would win. He spent a few moments sliding his fingers into the best position.
Before, he�d had to hold Harry�s neck at any awkward angle and drink in a way
enforced by circumstances. This time, when he had a choice, he would make it
comfortable for both of them.

�� Well? Get
on with it,� Harry mumbled. He had his eyes closed and an expression of
suffering patience on his face as he put up with Draco�s manipulations of his
neck. The better to convince himself he was distant from all this, Draco
supposed.

�� I will,�
Draco said. He breathed over Harry�s throat for the sake of watching him shiver
and wrinkle his nose a bit; then he sighed and slid his fangs into the puncture
wounds he had made last night.

�� He had to
close his eyes as the first wave of sensation struck him. He didn�t have to
think about helping Harry survive against a master vampire now. There was no
Dark ritual to snatch him from. There was only cool moonlight, and open air,
and Harry shaking against him, and purest pleasure entering through his mouth.

*

�� Harry had
thought his newfound determination to do the right thing�to tell Hermione the
truth, to get rid of his Dark Arts books, to make up for the suffering he�d
caused the hawk�would stand him in good stead when it came to Malfoy biting
him. He would yield to it because it would
make a poor return to Malfoy if he refused him, and because he had promised
himself the sensations it induced as a reward for doing those right things. But
he had also promised himself that he would do his best to resist. Surely it was
only the situations they had been in when Malfoy bit him, situations on the
edge of life and death, that made the feelings from those fangs so intense. The
feelings had to be different when it was only the two of them and Harry could
concentrate without distractions.

�� Instead, he
found his cock stiffening with anticipation before Malfoy ever caused him
anything but faint pain thanks to the prickling of the teeth on his throat.

�� He
half-raised a hand, thinking about forcing the vampire�s head away. Then the
pleasure roared through him like a thunderstorm and he gasped and put his hands
on Malfoy�s shoulders instead.

�� He�d
suffered a drought since Ginny, and only now did he truly realize that. He�d
been sure that his capacity for enjoyment died when she did, or rather when he
had to stake and behead her and scatter her ashes. He could still watch in
satisfaction as a vampire fell dead, but nothing else was left to him.

�� But he had
survived that, or his craving for pleasure had.

�� He had to
come to terms with that when he found himself rubbing against Malfoy�s leg, and
Malfoy shifting so that he could accommodate him.

�� Harry
forced his eyes open, despite the temptation to keep them shut. He ached and
shivered all over, and he thought he could feel every single individual bit of
stretched skin on his erection. Cloth shifted and rubbed against it, and the
stronger press of Malfoy�s thigh beyond that, and he needed sight as a
distraction from touch.

�� He could
see only Malfoy�s blond hair, since his face was bowed into Harry�s neck, his
teeth steadily sucking. He could make out Malfoy�s hands, though. They clung to
Harry as if he really were the source of Malfoy�s life.

�� Harry
shuddered and swallowed. He brought his hands up to cup Malfoy�s skull, not
sure that he wouldn�t try to crush it.

�� When he
felt skin under his fingers, even cool skin that was only gradually flushing
with the warmth of blood�when he found of the shape of bones willingly yielded
to his hands, because Malfoy neither looked up nor tried to stop him�

�� Harry
couldn�t do it.

�� He screamed
at himself for weakness as he hung there, his thoughts boiling back and forth
between his cock and the head he held, his breath stuttering as Malfoy�s hair
swept against his chin and cheek and his thigh drove Harry on to completion. He
had faced harder challenges than this and always triumphed. He should be able
to do anything. He should be able to make plans and then carry them out. What
was he if he didn�t do that but a failed vampire hunter?

�� He was
still thinking about what else he might be when the pleasure caught him and he
came unexpectedly. His fingers sank into Malfoy�s skin anyway, but this time as
a desperate handhold against being swept away by the flood, not a punishment.

�� Malfoy
lifted his head and looked at him as Harry was still shuddering through the
last pulses of his orgasm. His eyes were wide and self-satisfied, once again
swimming with crimson flecks. He stepped back from Harry, grabbed Harry�s arms
to support himself, and then flickered out his tongue to touch and lap a small
drop of blood from Harry�s chin.

�� He came
from that, neck bowing backwards, vulnerable throat exposed to Harry. It was
the most trust anyone had shown Harry since the day when he�d failed to protect
Ginny.

�� Harry shut
his eyes. Confusions crowded in on him and whirled around so fast that he
wasn�t sure which one he should address first. A short time ago he would have
said that the most important thing was killing Malfoy. Vampires were all
treacherous bastards. He might seem to be giving unselfishly to Harry at first,
but eventually it would turn out to be part of some complex plan, and Harry
would regret that he hadn�t slain him when he had the chance.

�� But Malfoy
had done too many things that Harry had always thought were impossible for
vampires, as impossible as being honest from the first. Almost died for Harry.
Fought him without killing him. Interfered in a Dark ritual and then not taken
the chance to drain Harry�s magic and blood when he was weak. Showed him trust,
when Harry would have said that the treacherous bastards didn�t know what trust
was.

�� He reached
out. His hand trembled. He didn�t know its destination.

�� His fingers
came to rest in the hollow of Malfoy�s throat, and Harry stood there and
listened to the sluggish beating of a vampire�s heart. He was still standing
there like that, hand resting in the same place, when Malfoy opened his eyes
again.

*

�� Draco had
never felt anything like this, either undead or alive.

�� He was content, and full of joy. The blood
puddled in his stomach and made him feel friendly to the whole world. He�d had
the chance to feed at a leisurely pace and without keeping half an eye open,
the way he always did when feeding on enthralled mortal prey, in case someone
missed them. He�d had the chance to clean his Long-Desired afterwards. He�d
come and not felt as though he had to snatch a quick orgasm from the jaws of
running time.

�� All of it
made him feel languorous, but it was far too early in the night to curl up and
go to sleep. Besides, the blood had given him a rush of new energy, and the
magic he had drawn with the blood�not much, to show willingness to
compromise�danced playfully about in his veins. Instead, he wanted to do
something that Harry wanted him to do, something that would make Harry happy.

�� He smiled
at Harry, reached up to clasp his fingers, and whispered, �What can I do?
Anything you want.�

�� Harry
trembled. His lips opened once, and then he closed them again and shook his head.
Draco crooned at him and leaned nearer. �I have very good hearing,� he
whispered, �but even I can�t hear the words if you don�t speak them.� He
couldn�t stop his hands from smoothing up and down Harry�s cheeks. He wanted so
much to touch him, to protect him, to give him gifts. Anything he wanted. Draco was almost sorry Harry had come already.
That would have been something immediate and intimately pleasant that he could
offer.

�� Go away,�
Harry whispered. �Until you come back tomorrow night to meet me and Hermione
here. Please.�

�� Draco
ducked his head. He didn�t even resent the command; he felt, instead, the deep
rush of happiness that came from acceding to Harry�s request. He licked Harry�s
cheek once, and then turned and sped away across the moor, springing into the
air, calling out for the delight of hearing his voice echo back from the rocks.

�� This time,
Harry was his, to cradle and care for. Draco didn�t think anyone could have
feigned that heart-deep confusion.

�� And I will clarify that confusion in time
and give him something to live for. I will.

*

�� polka dot:
Oh, yes. Harry will need to fight his way slowly back to sanity.

�� Thrnbrooke:
Thank you!

�� JtheChosen1:
Thanks! Chapter 5 is a chapter I�m pretty proud of.

�� orpiment99:
Thanks! Harry will still fight and argue and try to make reservations in his
conduct for himself, especially once his immediate guilt and grief wears off.
But he�s on the road to seeing that other people can still be hurt by his
behavior.

�� InuyoukaiMei:
Thank you so much! The exclamation points got the matter across quite nicely.
;)

�� SP777: Yes,
this really caused Harry to reevaluate himself. And his sense of what he owes
Malfoy is reconciling him to the biting for now. Draco can continue to work on
that gratitude and slowly grow beyond it�hopefully.
- 5
- 6
- 7
You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.
Report Story

The Long-Desired