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Unlovable	By : Buumkin Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Harry/Snape Views: 16281 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, and I do not make any money from these writings.

Chapter List
- 5
- 6
Harry
rolled over in bed, groping for the warmth of another body and trying
to ignore the pulsing alarm sounding magically in his mind. It
wouldn't abate until he opened his eyes, so he did so reluctantly.

Ginny
was sitting up against the headboard, looking ashen and fragile. A
dead weight feeling settled in Harry's chest as he saw the
contemplating look in Ginny's honey brown eyes. “Babe, whats
wrong?” he muttered, bracing himself.

“You
got Lily down okay?” She whispered down at him.

“Yeah.
You went upstairs and she just fell asleep like a little angel.”
Harry tried a charming smile, sitting up next to his wife, “You
should go back to sleep while she's still down.”

“Finite
incantatum.” Ginny whispered, so quietly that Harry only heard
the sound of her tongue clicking against the roof of her mouth. It
wasn't a spell though, there was no magic behind the words.

Slowly,
as his mind started to function in the dim light of morning, Harry's
gaze moved from his wife's face down to his own arm above the
blanket.

On
one hand, it didn't look like he was having an affair, it looked more
like he was strangling chickens. Scratch marks and bruises were sunk
deep into his flesh, they were obviously made by a person, and
obviously... they were desperate. He stared at the marks on his arms,
holding his hands both up to his face closely, he had not put his
glasses on yet.

They
were dark marks, they weren't fun or playful, they were acts of
desperation, each jagged scratch held a deranged hope of freedom.
“God...” Harry choked out, before burying his face in the
hands that had held his old adversary down for a brutal... Rape.

Ginny
let him sob silently into his hands for a few minutes before
speaking, “I took the glamors off. And I looked at your whole
body. Scratches on your back, your neck, bruises everywhere... What
have you been doing, Harry?” She wasn't yelling. She just
needed to know.

“I
raped him.” Harry hissed into his hands after only a few
seconds of silence.

Ginny
didn't know what to do, how to even react. “W-what did you
say?”

“He
was angry with me and I just... I just... I don't even know.”
Harry dropped his hands and sighed, “I've been having an
affair. With a man. And I raped that man. And now I don't know...
What I'm doing. Or why. I just know that the things I want to do
aren't things I ever... Ever wanted for us. But then... What I wanted
for Us isn't what I want now.”

“And
what do you want, Harry? Do you not want me? Do you not want our
daughter? What do you want Harry because I distinctly remember you
telling me when we got married that you wanted a family with me! A
cute little house an-”

“You
can have it I swear!” Harry almost wailed, “I... I'm
sorry Ginny. You can have the house and I'll be Lily's dad and I'll
take care of you because I do want... a family. But I want something
else too. And that doesn't fit in our picture.”

“Harry
I swear to god what!? What do you want? Stop dancing around and just
tell me! In words!” she was raising her voice, and Harry was
too close to snapping.

“I
WANT to rape him!” Harry snapped. That was definitely a snap.
Harry swore he heard himself snap. “I want to take something
that is iron rod straight and bend it! I want to find something
perfect and ruin it! I want to find the tallest tree and fell it!
Does that...” He stopped shouting and took a deep breath, “Does
that make sense? Is that a thing people are supposed to feel? Do
other people feel that?”

Ginny
shook her head, “I don't know.” She slumped back against
the headboard, “You've... You've been having an affair?”

Harry
clenched his jaw, “I'm sorry Ginny.” was all he could
think to say, “I wanted to tell you. I wanted you to
understand, but I just never found the time to say anything. You were
pregnant. Then we had a baby. We STILL have a baby...”

Ginny
nodded, “I know. But. It's okay. Lily has a family. She'll
always have a family. No matter what happens between you and me.”
Ginny's voice was starting to waver, “What... What is going to
happen between you and me?”

“I'm
gay, Ginny. And a liar. I cheated on you. I don't have what it takes
to lie to you or to make this work. I-”

“I
get it.” Ginny cut him off. “I get it Harry I... I guess.
It's time to look into getting a divorce then?”

Harry
nodded slightly, “Ginny I'm so sorry. Ginny I-”

“Harry.”
She interrupted him again, “Let's just... Keep this civil.
Let's stop talking about this right now. You've got to get to work
and I... I've got to... Go back to sleep for a few precious hours.”
She smiled at him, “We'll be okay, Harry. Pick up diapers on
your way home from work, okay?”

Harry
nodded, a little confused and disoriented about the situation he was
in. “Okay.”

Severus
woke with a sinus headache. Apparently Harry's fun and friendly
choking game had caused him to snore all night long. Breathing
through his mouth made his sore throat dry but breathing through his
nose made his sinuses feel on fire.

“Stupid
boy.” Severus grumbled, heading to the bath with his wand in
one hand and a jar of healing balm in the other.

He
drew himself a bath even more steaming and frothy than usual, casting
an agitation charm that caused the water to churn and jet over his
sore muscles and the healing balm that he dumped in the water
started to work on his bruises and aches.

His
head throbbed, his ass throbbed even more. The thin man simply
sprawled out in his tub for a long soak before picking up his wand
and directing healing charms at himself.

When
his work was done Severus sat back and contemplated his position in
life. “Lets see...” He mused out loud, “I have
little to no money, and few places that will agree to do business
with me. I currently reside in a detestable little shack. I have a
young savior with a dangerously dark soul somehow obsessed with me.”
He cocked his head for amoment, trying to think of a positive aspect
to find, “I have yet to find a gray hair. Which for a man
rounding fourty is quite impressive, I think.”

His
joints groaned as he lifted himself from the bath.

Harry
stood in front of his fireplace and considered his options. Worrying
his lower lip, he grabbed a pinch of the floo powder and made his
choice.

Breakfast.
It was early, and thus it was time for breakfast. Harry stepped out
into diagon ally, and found a good looking cafe.

Twenty
minutes later he was walking out laden with bags, and apparated to
the Burrow.

The
loud snap made Molly almost jump out of her rollers, she was just
beginnig to round on her kitchen and looked very surprised to see
him, “Harry! A little early for you to be... Anywhere,
actually. Arthur's not even up. I was just about to start breakfast,
would you like some?”

Harry
gave her what he hoped was a charming smile, “I hoped to catch
you in time, I brought breakfast.”

Molly
chuckled as he took out no less than eight carry out cartons full of
sausages, eggs, bacon, french toast and a giant flask of marmalade.
“So you can just relax for a morning.”

“Oh
Harry how nice.” She was smiling widely, “Harry. Thank
you. You are simply too much of a joy to me.”

Ron
clamored in the front door, and got to the table and started eating
before he let out a groggy, “M'rnin 'Arry.”

“Uhm.
Prolly good that Ron's here too. I should uh, say this before the
rest of the clan piles in the floo.” Harry gestured for Molly
to sit, and she did, still looking pleased although a little
confused.

Ron
simply continued consuming sausages like he was in some sort of
professional contest.

“Molly.
Um. Ron. You're my family, you know that? And that won't ever
change.”

Ron's
eye's went wide, and he started shaking his head behind his mom. When
Harry didn't stop talking Ron clamoured up to pour a cup of coffee
for the dormant volcano lying inside of his mother.

“Ginny
and I have decided that we were hasty in getting married. Some new
differences between us have come to light and we have decided to
amicably absolve our... Union.” Harry started strong but unded
up muttering into the tablecloth.

Molly's
face froze, “What are you saying, dear?”

Ron
shoved the coffee in his mothers face, “He's saying he's a poof
and him'n Ginny are getting a divorce.” he lifted the sausage
container from the table to save them from a rampage.

Molly
just sat very still, with her coffee in two slightly trembling hands,
“H-Harry?”

Harry
couldn't bring himself to look her in the eyes, “I... I didn't
want Ginny to have to tell you. I didn't want her to have to go
though this. Please its not her, it's me. Don't make this any harder
on her than it has to be.”

Molly
was very slowly, almost unnoticeably, puffing up.

Harry
just barely managed to put up a magical shield to protect himself
from flying eggs.

“HARRY
JAMES POTTER! WEASLEYS DO NOT GET DIVORCED!”

“That
went well.” Ron said, straightening his tie as they left the
burrow together, “She didn't even throw the bacon.”

Harry
just groaned, “Here.” He unshrunk a bag form his pocket
ad helf it out to Ron, “I got donuts for everyone at work.
Stick 'em in the breakroom before people fill up on stale tea and
coffee. I got one more breakfast to deliver.”

Ron
gladly took the bag full of donuts, “Sure that's not in bad
taste, Harry?”

“It's
just breakfast, Ron.” Harry sighed, before apparating away.

Severus
had gotten to his morning coffee by the time Harry apparated into his
kitchen. The loud crack caused Severus to jump and scald his hands
with the freshly poured pitch black brew.

Snape
lashed out at Harry with a wicked swipe of the still half filled
coffee cup, and Harry only barely managed to block his face from the
arch of scalding liquid.

There
was a moment of silence between them before Severus simply chucked
the mug at Harry. The projectile was halfhearted and Harry ducked it
easily, but the message was very clear.

Another
moment of silence, Severus staring Harry down. Harry sat down at the
small kitchen table and opened the breakfast carton, hoping the
wafting smells of sausages, hashbrowns, and eggs would take the edge
off of Severus's razor sharp rage.

Severus
eyed the sweating sausages hungrily. “Fine. But you're going
until tonight. I'm not ready to deal with you yet.” The tall
man sat down at the table, summoning a fork from the drawer.

“You
look good.” Harry said, almost immediately having to duck as
the fork flew prongs-first into the wall behind him, “Okay okay
I'll go... What time can I come over tonight?”

“Early.
No later than eight. Wear old clothes. I have a plethora of cauldrons
in need of copious elbow grease.” Severus smirked at Harry.

Harry
returned the smile, “Severus... I am really sorry about last
night.”

Severus
flicked his wand to summon another fork, and the coffee mug picked
itself up and began filling itself with coffee, “Not now,
Harry. I'm rearming myself. A smart man would take his leave.”

Work
had dragged by, and Harry was all too happy to get home to a wailing
babe and a near hysterical wife.

“You
TOLD MY MOTHER?” Ginny shrieked almost the very moment Harry
stepped out of the floo. She held a similarly shrieking Lily, and
Harry couldn't help but smile at the resemblance.

Harry
offered fourth a peace offering of diapers and Ginny went from a boil
to a simmer. “Ginny, I wanted to tell her so that she'd
understand that this is mutual and peaceful and...” Harry
thought a moment, “I guess I thought she would hate me less if
I was honest with her from the beginning.”

Ginny
was still simmering, “I don't need this right now Harry. I've
got a screaming baby and eight pairs of track pants covered in piss
and creamed peas! Do you never think? Would it have really been that
much of a buden to you to keep this between us for a while?”

Harry
took Lily from Ginny, noticing her diaper was heavy, “I will
change Lilys diaper, you put on some laundry and then I'll fold all
that's done while you feed her. Sound like a plan?”

“Well
it certainly doesn't sound like an apology.” Giny stood, with
her hands on her hips. Harry smiled, it was hard to believe how much
more light hearted he felt now that he wasn't lying to her. He liked
her more. He liked himself more.

“Alright.
I'm sorry I told your mother. It was half-cocked on my part.”
Ginny was still glaring at him, “What has she said to you?”

Giny
shrugged, “Actually... She came over. Brought tea and
sandwitches. I guess she was more just dissapointed than angry. So I
guess I should somewhat let you off the hook for absorbing some of
the initial blast.”

“See?”
Harry quirked his eyebrows, “Alright. Now you go start some
laundry I gotta be out of here by eight.”

“Hm?
Where are you going? I ask as more of your roommate than wife, I
suppose. You don't have to tell me or anything. I just bore you a
child and promised you my undying love which you've recently thrown
in my face so yeah you don't HAVE to tell me but-”

Harry
cut her off with a peck on the cheek, “I'm sorry again, Ginny.
And I'm sorry a thousand times. But we'll both be happier this way,
and I hope you see that soon. I'm...” He took a deep breath,
“I'm going to see Him. After what I did... I just want to make
sure he knows how sorry I am.”

Ginny
had a dark, dark look in her eyes, which were welling with tears
beside herself, “Harry...” She wiped her eyes and
sniffed, “I really find it hard not to hate you some times.”

Harry
watched her leave the living room sadly, holding a fussy Lily in need
of a change, wishing he was still at work.

Severus
was not pleased that the boy was late. He put the thought to the very
darkest recess of his brain.

But
then, Harry just had to come by looking so very... Unhateable. His
hair was more touseled than normal, he had on a frayed gray sweater
that looked to have been dyed that color with some sort of greasy
paint. He was wearing what were obviously a child-rearing ruined pair
of his wife's sweats, sitting dangerously low on his hips to reach
the bottom of his legs, which they barely did anyway.

His
expression was so beat down and apologetic, Severus felt his
perfectly prepared sneer slowly slide off his face. “Are you
trying to lessen my temporary distaste of you by looking like an
utterly pathetic lost child?”

Harry
shrugged, and gave Severus a very compelling look, “It's not
been the easiest of days. Even though I'm sure you're going to make
me scrub cauldrons and slice salamanders... I've really been looking
forward to it all day.”

“I
wouldn't let you prepare my ingredients, boy.” Severus seethed,
“And I said 'old clothes' not 'clothes that make it hard to
finish my thoughts'.”

Harry
gave a little laugh at that, “We're amidst a laundry crisis in
my house right now. I do have a baby. It's kind of a time eater.”

Severus
chuckled, feeling benevolence towards the boy for the first time all
day, “You look utterly exhausted, Harry.”

“I
am.” Harry nodded, “But I got a few scrubbed cauldrons
left in me. Perhaps even a sparkling clean distillation unit. We'll
see.”

Snape
tilted his head down the stairs to the lab, “I'm going to go
take another healing balm bath. Everything you'll need to begin your
indentured servitude is down those stairs.” he held out a pale
hand and unfurled his long, thin fingers. “Wand.”

Harry
dug through his pockets and produced ten inches of holly and phoenix
feather. “I should have known.” he said with a smile.

“My
very naked and vulnerable body will be behind some very unpleasant
and disfiguring wards. Do not interrupt my bath.” He twirled on
his heel and set up the stairs.

Harry
watched him go with a bemused smile and a slowly stiffening dick. He
looked down at the rod slowly coming to life in his wife's house
pants, “No. What are you doing anyway you're SORE.”

It
abated. Satisfied with how that little talk had gone Harry set down
the stairs.

Severus
decended into the lab almost two hours later, his damp hair pulled
away from his face in the most masculine pony tail he could manage.
He was wearing the same night robe that Harry had found so
irresistable yesterday, and didn't really know why. “Go home,
it's freezing down here, and you're tired. I won't have you falling
ill and turning all this guilt around on me.”

Harry's
skin was flushed and moist from scrubbing and crouching, he had
actually taken off the oversized sweater and was in just a clingy,
heavily stained wifebeater, “Naw. I feel great. Think I really
needed to work up a sweat.”

Severus
allowed his eyes to linger on a droplet of sweat that was running
down Harry's neck into the nape of his neck, “Come upstairs,
Harry.”

They
fell into bed in a flash, hands and mouths all over each other. Harry
attacked Severus's mouth with a possesive hunger that he simply
couldn't keep inside, and Severus simply moaned at the all too
familiar Beast he was unleashing.

“Sev...Severus.”
Harry panted, “I tore you yesterday... I know I did I can't-”

Severus
cut him off with a hungry kiss of his own. He didn't want Harry to
talk. He didn't know what he wanted from Harry, but it wasn't his
voice.

“Severus”
Harry moaned, dragging his mouth away from Severus, “Severus...
Just talk to me, please. What... What is this?”

Severus
stilled, staring into Harry's all too familiar eyes. He couldn't find
his voice. His drawl was hiding elsewhere and every time he opened
his mouth his throat tightened and he knew that his deep baritone
would come out a tremoring tenor.

Harry
didn't like seeing Severus speechless, “Are you okay? This...
Really isn't like you.”

Severus
settled his face into one of contemplation. He couldn't physically
work his brows into uncertainty but he could certainly do
contemplation, “I find myself not averse to your visits.”

The
eyebrows above those emerald green eyes shot upwards, “Are...
You saying that you acutally like me?”

Severus
sneered, “I'm saying that you may come by at any time of your
choosing. I'm saying nothing more than that.” he tugged at
Harry's pants, and the younger man took the hint, taking off the
offensive garment.

They
groped and feasted on each other for a satisfying eternity, taking
their time in satiating a deep desire that had seemed to settle
between them.

Harry
was all too eager to slide down Severus's body and get another taste
of the older man's thick, swollen cock. Severus found he was more
transfixed by the look in Harry's eyes than seeing his cock
dissappear into the boy's pink and stretched lips. Harry looked like
he was in bliss, and his eyes reflected only euphoria and amourous
delight as he tried to suck Snape's cock all the way down his hungry
throat. Severus had never engaged in that particular act of his own
volition. The Dark Lord and a few Death Eaters had seen it necessary
to deface Severus further than rape by making the straight-spined
respectable man pleasure them with his mouth, and forced him to make
quite an effort at it on occasion. Severus could only think fleeting
thoughts of his time in that dark and twisted culture, because
nothing of being with Harry felt like that. In his eyes was a pure
lust, free from true depravity. All Harry wanted was Severus, and as
unsettling as the older man found that fact, he couldn't help but
feel comfortable near the boy.

His
breath hitched. Harry hadn't been working on him long, but the utter
enthusiasm with which Harry bobbed his head up and down on Severus's
cock was wearing on him quickly, and soon he tensed and shot
everything he had down the youths eager throat.

Panting
in the aftermath, Severus gazed even harder at Harry's expression. He
looked... Elated.

“You're
delicious.” smirked Harry, licking his lips with an impish
grin. He reached his hand out to run his fingers through Severus's
increasingly long lank hair, touching the bright purple bruises still
standing out on Severus's neck, “Are you still hurt?”

Severus
brushed his hand away, “A bit.” He took in Harry's naked
form, appreciating it for a moment, “I'm not entirely unused to
rough play, Harry. I believe you have gleaned that fact.”

Harry
shook his head, “I can't be like that to you Severus. Don't try
to make excuses for me. I wasn't in control of myself and it's not
okay.” He swung his legs over the side of the bed, “Can I
come back tomorrow?”

Severus
was appalled, “I've already told you that you may come when you
wish. And you can come back right now and allow me to take care of-”

“Severus...”
Harry interrupted him, standing up and stuffing his still stiff prick
into his underwear, looking around for his pants “I need to
go.”

Severus
remained silent at that, letting the boy make his awkward departure.
A night where they were both satisfied and fell asleep in a sticky
tangle of eachother's arms made itself known in Severus's mind as
something he actually desired before leaving in a huff.

Harry
stood awkwardly by the bed for the momet, fully dressed, “So I
will uh, see you soon, okay?”

Severus
simply raised an eyebrow at him, and brought the blankets up. “Good
night, Potter.”
- 5
- 6
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