Adult-FanFiction.org : Harry Potter

Alice Knows Best	By : MissiYoung Category: Harry Potter Crossovers > Threesomes/Moresomes Views: 18237 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 8
Disclaimer: I do not own the Harry Potter series or the Twilight Saga or any of the characters/locations/etc. associated with them and make no profit from them; financial or otherwise. These two fandoms are property of their respective owners.

Chapter List
- 5
- 6
- 7
Thoughts in italics.

Chapter Six: Yeah, I Know Them
Harry tried to help Jacob maneuver Billy's wheelchair over the gravel and up the few stairs to the porch, but Jacob snapped that he didn't need it. Determined not to take the vaguely older teen's attitude personally, Harry hopped up the stairs and knocked on the front door of the most aesthetically pleasing house he'd ever seen. Before his hand could make second contact the door was wrenched open by a tall, leggy blonde with gorgeous skin and beautiful topaz eyes; this woman, who appeared only a two or three years older than Harry himself (but was clearly a Vampire to his knowledgeable eye), made a quick series of movements that Harry wasn't quite familiar with. In the end he decided he'd been glomped and decided to just go with it; gay or not having a woman this breathtaking all over him was nothing to sneeze at. She excitedly pulled him into the house, turning and gently lifting Billy's wheelchair over the lip of the door frame. She expertly ignored Jacob's grumbling and ushered everyone into the living room, pulling Harry down onto an empty sofa and engaging him in a conversation about the Autobots and more specifically her favorite, Bumblebee. From the corner of his eye Harry watched Jacob and Billy settle on and beside a nearby chair while a woman who reminded the youngest teen in the room of Molly Weasley immediately began mothering everyone; she passed around plates of snacks and glasses of cold tea encouraging everyone to eat.

After about ten minutes Harry noticed the boy in the corner getting frustrated while the obvious matriarch of this coven fluttered around encouraging everyone to eat more and trying to refill already full glasses. A girl around Harry's size hopped up off the ottoman she'd been occupying and snatched the mobile from the frustrated boy's hand. Speaking with carefully careless inflections and just the right mix of excitement and resignation, Harry heard the littlest Vampire apologize to someone named Bella for her not being invited, but the family had guests and they were going to spend all night rehashing old family stories. She was sure that Bella would be bored, having not been there at the time, but this was the first time they'd been able to invite people over since this Bella person had moved to Forks...it was impressive, really. Throughout all of this Harry kept up his conversation with the beautiful woman with just the right mix of teasing and respect. Finally the Vampire on the phone disconnected and returned it to the boy in the corner, who gave her a quietly relieved thanks, and the eldest appearing Vampire stood.

"Welcome to our home. I'm Carlisle Cullen and this..."

Harry cut him off excitedly without really realizing it.

"Saint Carlisle the Healer, Patriarch of the Family Cullen and Patron Saint of Magical Healers?"

The entire room stopped and turned toward the Wizard. The man in question blinked before answering slowly.

"I...well, I am a doctor, and this is my family. I...I don't think I've every become a Saint, or the Patron Saint of Magical Healers. I'm not sure how I could be the Patron Saint of Magical Healers, since I don't use magic in my healing."

The man trailed off but Harry, fairly vibrating in excitement, started speaking again.

"I did my final project on your family last term in History of Magic! I have the books I used in my trunk; you are welcome to them whenever you'd like. It was because of your Family that I contacted a few Nomads last year; they introduced me to some of the other Magical Beings and that's how I created my army!"

Billy cleared his throat and took a deep drink of his tea before turning his full attention on his new house guest-he wanted to know what the Wizards thought of his Tribe's lifelong enemies, and it seemed fair to let the enemy in question hear it as well.

"Why don't you tell us what you remember about the Cullen's and we can worry about the books later. Just the highlights."

Everyone else gave their agreements, settling into their seats with obvious excitement. Harry nodded, taking a deep breath and small sip of the cold tea (he wasn't that fond of it, truth be told, but never would have said so).

"Well, there's Saint Carlisle, as I've said, and his wife Saint Esme the Gentle, Patron Saint of Magical Artistry and Matriarch of the Family Cullen. Next is The Princess Rosalie the Just, Patron Saint of the Veela and Chosen Princess of all Veela Clans. Her husband is Prince Emmett the Protector, Patron Saint of Protection over Innocents; it is said that his desire to protect the innocent is so great that he is the only soul ever to exist that is worthy of Princess Rosalie's affections."

A large, barrel chested man across the room puffed out his chest in pride-he was obviously Prince Emmett-but deflated quickly when the leggy blonde beside Harry muttered too quietly for the mortals to hear. Whatever she said, it caused all of the Vampires to snicker before Esme (looking what Harry knew to be tearful for a Vampire) waved for him to continue.

"Right, next is Saint Edward the Pure, First Son of the Family Cullen and Patron Saint of Magical Music. It is said that true music will only return to the magical world when Saint Edward considers the world worthy."

That got a huge reaction, most notably from the Vampire who'd been on the phone earlier. He was sputtering out half formed words and Harry came to understand that this must be Edward, and further that the man was clearly confused as to how he could control the music.

"There are a few stories about how it happened, but it basically boils downs to a Wizard saying something untoward and you phrase your response in such a way that the Wizard's magic takes it as a curse and responds accordingly. Gaea took control and spread it throughout the rest of my world."

Carlisle answered several questions about Gaea and ended up giving a brief lesson in mythology, quietly rethinking his entire belief structure. Meanwhile Billy caught Harry's eye, making a minute gesture to Harry's nearly full glass and making it subtly clear that he wished to swap it for his own nearly empty one. Harry traded gladly, not wanting to hurt Saint Esme's feelings; he was an odd sort of Brit who didn't like most tea. Earl Gray was pretty much the end of it, though he could choke down English Breakfast; Jasmine and Chamomile didn't count as tea to Harry because they were also both plants and Potions ingredients. That gave them healing properties.

"I saw that."

Princess Rosalie whispered quietly but Harry knew the others heard her and he blushed when they all glanced his way. He didn't say anything, waiting to see if one of them would say something first so that he could apologize only for what they knew as fact. When everyone kept to their own conversations and ignored the pretty blonde Harry breathed a small sigh of relief and shot her a tiny smile. Her answering smile was just a bit smug, as though she'd known he wouldn't like the beverage. Before they could continue their conversation the tiny Vampire popped off of her seat and spoke up.

"Ok, we get it, Edward's the most amazing of us all. Now I wanna hear about me!"

Everyone laughed-even Jacob cracked a smile, though his eyes stayed glued to the floor as they'd been most of the night-and Harry gave a slight bow.

"The Oracle Alice, Patron Saint of Seers. One of only two true Oracle Seers currently in existence and the only from the time of her birth until Luna was born. The important difference between Oracle Seers and traditional Seers is that Oracle Seers are much more reliable because they don't rely on annoying prophesies that usually don't make much sense until after the darn thing has come to pass. Her husband is the Warrior Jasper, Patron Saint of Warriors and known as Jasper the Fierce."

Here Harry blushed for no discernible reason and everyone waited to hear what he'd say next. When he was silent for several minutes Billy advised him to just 'come out with it, kid'.

"We called upon Saint Jasper for protection before every battle-I think both sides did-and it's an unwritten rule that when you survive a battle, no matter what side you were on, you donate to the Whitlock Foundation. They help care for those negatively affected by war no matter what side their families were on."

The Vampire that Harry considered to be the most gorgeous, hands down, was the muscular blond across the room. The same muscular blond who was choking and sputtering and looking to his 'father' for guidance. Carlisle waited to see what had his son most upset.

"Saint...protection...I have a Foundation?"

The rambling repeated itself from there before focusing on the Foundation. The young looking doctor gave his son a gentle smile that clearly soothed the man's frazzled nerves.

"Bertrand Russell once said, 'War does not determine who is right-only who is left.' It sounds like your Foundation honors that sentiment."
**
Carlisle watched his family sit around the dining room table with the intention to eat for the first time. He could read unease in several faces but they all pasted on happy smiles as Esme proudly brought out platters of food. There was an awkward pause as a prayer was contemplated but eventually everyone began passing around the platters. Harry waited until everyone was served to speak.

"May I ask a personal question?"

Rosalie steamrolled over the rest of the family, inviting Harry to ask all of the questions he wanted; she declared that nothing was too personal for someone as open minded as he was. The others chuckled but agreed to answer anything he asked.

"I apologize in advance if I sound rude, but why are you eating? I mean I can understand the ladies eating, but why are the gentlemen?"

"Wait a second."

Again it was Rosalie who spoke, demanding to know why the women would eat but not the men. Harry blinked before focusing on Carlisle intently.

"Where did you learn about Vampire physiology?"

Carlisle blinked rapidly, too shocked by the intensity to answer. Without thinking Rosalie yanked roughly on Harry's arm; the bone clearly snapped but Harry didn't pay it any attention. Everyone immediately jumped to action to help the injured teen but he just waved them off and repeated his question, clearly demanding an answer.

"I learned during my time with the Volturi."

Harry nodded as though he'd expected that and snarled.

"Aro."

The anger took everyone off guard again, more so than before, to see such a fierce hatred from the normally happy teen. Carlisle spoke quietly, trying to calm the boy.

"So...you know the Volturi?"

Harry gave a sarcastic smile that was clearly self satisfied.

"Yeah, I know them. They know me, too. Aro put a price in my head when I took out Alec and Felix and permanently disabled Jane just before the last battle I was in."

Everyone who'd had contact with the Volturi looked a combination of intrigued, happy, and respectful with just a touch of fear. After a few minutes of silence Carlisle changed the subject.

"So what don't I know about Vampire physiology?"

Harry took the change of subject at face value, knowing that he'd be discussing the Volturi again in the future.

"Female Vampires, as well as those males who had the ability before their change, are able to become pregnant and bear healthy human children so long as they eat regular meals. By forcing their digestive system to remain functional their bodies eventually restart all of their internal organs."

Rosalie got so excited that she yanked on Harry's arm again, causing a second audible snap. He tried to wave everyone off again, telling them he had mending Potions in his truck, but no one would listen this time.

Author's Note: Because I am loving the guesses I'm getting from my amazing reviewers, I will give a few clues. Cookies to anyone who guesses correctly! Harry will be with someone from the La Push pack and a Vampire but there will be a fourth member in that relationship. One of the female Vampires will be in a relationship with a female. Edward will be in a relationship with a male. Bella is a bitch and I hate her, but she will be with a Vampire and undergo the change. Was all of that confusing enough? *giggle* This chapter sponsored by: The annoyance that is Farmville, my cat deleting this entire chapter just when I finished coding it by doing some mystical cat jump when I wasn't paying attention to her, Jugo de Naranja, my current brand of cigarettes, MyLadyVaughan's amazing quote finding abilities, and snickerdoodles.
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