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Pleasant Dreams	By : newyorican Category: Harry Potter Crossovers > Slash - Male/Male Views: 17572 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 5
Disclaimer: Harry Potter belongs to J.K. Rowling and Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended and no profit is being made from the writing of this story.

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Chapter 5 – Support

“Death is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live.”

/Jacob/Harry

“I’m sorry you have to spend your summer with Malfoy, Harry.”

Harry glanced at Sirius before directing his attention back to his ice cream. In all honesty, he was sorry too. A part of him would prefer spending quality time with Dudley than Malfoy, but he wouldn’t give up Sirius for the world. Though only a week had passed, Harry was enjoying himself more than he’d ever had. True, he mostly spent his time locked in his room, plagued by the horrors he’d witnessed the end of last year, but Sirius’ personality made it so easy for him to relax and forget about Voldemort, Cedric, and the rest of the world’s expectations.

“It’s alright,” he fibbed, licking his treat.

Sirius snorted. “I know I wasn’t the most studious of students, but please don’t insult my intelligence by lying,” he admonished gently. “Your rivalry with my brat of a cousin was as bad, if not worse, than mine with Snape. I know I’d be furious if I had to spend a summer with that greasy git; I can only imagine how mad you are.”

“Sirius, if it was that big of a deal, I would’ve said something,” Harry said, wiping his mouth with a napkin.

Sirius cocked an eyebrow at him. “No, you wouldn’t. You’re too selfless to do something like that, just like your mum.” The ex-convict chuckled and his eyes took on a far-away look.

Harry smiled slightly at that. “Can you tell me about her? Everybody’s so caught up in telling me how much I look like my dad, but nobody ever mentions mum. Well, except when they tell me that I have her eyes.”

Remus and Sirius shared a look. “Come on,” Sirius said. “We’ll tell you all about her at home. In fact, I’m fairly certain I still have photos of our days at Hogwarts.”

Harry beamed, feeling truly ecstatic for the first time in weeks. He would finally learn things about his mum and maybe even feel a little closer to her. Thoughts of Voldemort and Cedric’s demise exited his brain and he didn’t mind the distraction one bit. Harry practically dragged Sirius and Remus out of Diagon Alley, much to the amusement of the pair. He wondered what his mum was like and if he took after her in any way.

The trio made their way to Sirius’ room in silence. Sirius and Remus were reminiscing of their Hogwarts days, remembering how truly wonderful their friends had been when they were alive. They still felt guilty for not recognizing that Peter had been the traitor and that Harry had ultimately paid the price for their actions. Remus may have lost his friends and Sirius may have lost his freedom, but Harry lost his parents, anyone who would have been more than happy to take him in, and was condemned to Hell. Harry grew up not knowing anything about the world he belonged to or about the incredible people that were responsible for his existence.

Sirius frowned, still very angry with Harry’s placement in an unsuitable home. It was like he’d failed Harry; like Dumbledore failed Harry. His frown deepened. During his time in Azkaban, he knew he’d been more than foolish at blindingly trusting that old coot. Albus Dumbledore had the best intentions at times, but not for any one person. His intentions were normally directed in that of the greater good and, obviously, that’s caused more damage than he’d been able to fathom. He still trusted the old man, but now he was more alert. He wouldn’t ever put his complete faith in anyone when it came to the protection and well-being of Harry ever again.

“Lily was Head Girl at Hogwarts,” Remus said softly.

Sirius blinked and realized Remus had fished the old album out by himself, tired of waiting for Sirius to snap out of his reverie. Harry looked at the pictures in awe, smiling softly. The young Gryffindor’s fingers traced over his mum’s picture delicately, his smile widening when Lily beamed at him.

“Brightest witch in the history of witches, that one,” Sirius said ruefully. “Should’ve been in Ravenclaw, much like your Hermione. I get the feeling, though, that she would’ve fit in with any House.”

Harry looked at Sirius. “Any?”

Sirius nodded sagely. “If it weren’t for her Muggleborn status, she would’ve made a good Slytherin,” he admitted, a slight grimace on his face. “She was very ambitious and had planned to help lessen the prejudices in the Wizarding world. Not to mention Snape was her best friend.”

Harry gasped lowly and his eyes widened. “Snape? Professor Snape? Greasy hair, crooked nose, likes to snack on children’s dreams? We’re talking about the same Snape?”

Remus chuckled lightly. “They were inseparable until their fifth year, I believe. Professor Snape also grew up around a home life similar to your own, Harry,” he said gently, noting with sadness that Harry winced. “Lily was his friend before Hogwarts and remained as such until a point in time where he’d been…taken…with Voldemort’s ideas.”

“So…he was best friends with mum?” Harry couldn’t seem to wrap his head around that little tidbit.

“I have never nor will I ever like the git, but he was absolutely smitten with your mother,” Sirius confessed. “She always stood up for him against whoever was wronging him. Now that I think about it, though you look like your father, you are almost exactly like your mother.”

Harry smiled. “Tell me more?”

Sirius and Remus returned his smile before indulging him, telling him grand tales (that he was sure Sirius may have exaggerated) about his mother saving Sirius from a Potions explosion when practicing for the O.W.L. practical or how his mother, when she found out Remus was a werewolf, immediately advocated for the better treatment of werewolves.

“So I was pushed quite viciously into the water and was quickly brought under by the waves. Just as I was about to drown, this angel with beautiful red hair swam into the Black Lake and pulled me to the surface. It was a miracle,” Sirius concluded proudly, nodding his head firmly as if to confirm the latest exaggeration.

Harry snorted, glancing at the picture of Sirius and his mum looking like surprised drowned mice.

“Actually, he tripped, hit his head on a rock, and the Giant Squid decided to pull him under the water. Your mother dove in after him and after some nifty spellwork, they were both on land and safe,” Remus corrected, chuckling.

Sirius blushed, embarrassed. “I was viciously shoved,” he denied. “You know Snape’s fondness of repelling any decent human being within ten feet of him. I know he was behind me.”

“He was only fond of that charm because you seem to enjoy intruding in everyone’s personal bubble,” Remus pointed out. “If I wasn’t your friend, I’d have repelled you ages ago.”

“Moony!” Sirius whined, hugging Remus’ arm to himself. “You don’t mean that! Take it back this instant.”

Remus gave a laughing Harry a dry look that seemed to say, ‘And I rest my case.’

“You know,” Harry said softly, taking in deep breaths, “I didn’t really get to know my parents, but I’m glad I at least have you guys.”

Sirius smiled, thwacking Remus on the arm for embarrassing him in front of Harry again, and moved closer to his godson. “You do know you have us, right?” he asked seriously, swallowing slightly at Harry’s somewhat confused and alarmed expression.

“What do you mean?” the Gryffindor asked suspiciously.

Sirius sighed softly. “I mean, you know you can tell us anything, right?”

Harry narrowed his eyes slightly. “Yes,” he replied slowly. “Why?”

Remus took over. “We…we know you’ve been having nightmares,” he admitted, watching sadly as Harry jerked away.

“It’s nothing,” Harry replied, nervous laughter bubbling out of him. “Just some bad dreams.”

“Harry, please,” Sirius pleaded. “You’re my godson and I’m worried about you. Please, let me—us—help you.”

“I don’t need any help,” Harry denied, standing up. He made his way towards the door.

“It wasn’t your fault,” Remus said softly.

Harry paused. He bowed his head and tried to reign in his emotions. Why couldn’t they just leave it alone? Everything had been fine before they brought it up. “Yes it is,” he said just as softly.

“Did you kill him?” Remus asked simply.

Harry spun around and glared, his eyes filling up with tears. “I might as well have,” he choked out. “You don’t understand, Remus. If I hadn’t told Cedric to grab that stupid cup with me, he’d still be here. It is my fault!”

“Harry, you couldn’t have known—” Sirius began.

“Yes, I did,” Harry interrupted angrily. “I had those weird dreams all year. I kept seeing Voldemort and Wormtail and that stupid graveyard! I saw it! There’s so many things I could’ve done differently, each action ending with Cedric still being alive!”

Sirius looked at Harry sadly. “Voldemort and Wormtail are the ones responsible for Diggory’s death, Harry,” he said gently. “You had nothing to do with it.”

Harry sniffled and wiped away the tears streaming down his face. “If I had just taken that stupid cup when he told me to…” he whispered bitterly. “But no. I had to be the caring, selfless Gryffindor. I was so damn stupid.”

Sirius stood up and hugged Harry fiercely. “It’s a tragedy that Diggory died, yes,” he whispered strongly as his eyes misted over. “But for you to blame yourself and self-destruct because of something you had no control over is past tragic, Harry. To die with Diggory would be an insult to his memory.”

Harry shook slightly. “I’m not going to die,” he murmured.

“Aren’t you?” Sirius countered. “If you hardly eat or sleep, what do you think will happen eventually? You’re not taking care of yourself, and, honestly, it’s perfectly natural considering what you’ve been through. But, don’t hide yourself in regret; let us help you. We can help you get through this, Harry. Please let us. Please.”

Harry let out a sob and hugged Sirius back, crying hard into his godfather’s shoulder. He was so confused with all his emotions jumbled together. Guilt and anger stabbed at him the hardest and he cried it all out, slightly embarrassed by his actions. Remus watched sadly, letting Sirius and Harry have their moment.

When Harry calmed down, his eyes were red and puffy. His throat also hurt and he accepted the water Sirius asked the house elf to bring.

“We’ve found a way to help get rid of your nightmares,” Remus said softly. “Sirius?”

Sirius cleared his throat gently and walked to the desk in his room where the dreamcatcher sat innocently. “Do you know what this is?” he asked Harry.

Harry looked at it and nodded. “A dreamcatcher. Muggles use them,” he croaked, drinking more of the water.

“Well, this is a family artifact and definitely works better than any Muggle dreamcatcher,” Sirius assured. “Here. Try using this when you sleep tonight.”

Harry eyed it warily but took the beautiful dreamcatcher. An image of a large, russet wolf appeared in his mind and he shook his head. “I’ll try it,” he promised quietly.

“Good. Now, we have to prepare for the Malfoy brat’s arrival,” Sirius reminded them, glancing at the clock.

Harry snorted. “I’ll go put this in my room, then.”

Sirius watched as Harry stood up to leave. “Harry?”

Harry paused and turned around. “Yes?”

“If you want to talk about anything, you can come to me or Moony,” he said gently.

Harry gave him a small smile. “I know. Thanks.”

Remus waited until Harry left before opening his arms, not having to wait long before Sirius was in them, crying softly and grumbling about the unfairness of it all. Remus let him.

A/N: Find the Lady Gaga quote. ;)
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Pleasant Dreams