WONKY CROSS | By : JanisJ Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male Views: 59358 -:- Recommendations : 2 -:- Currently Reading : 8 |
Disclaimer: Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. I am making no money from this fanfiction. |
A/N: Thanks for all the reads, rates and reviews! Any feedback is much appreciated and truly makes my day (really, I can’t tell you how much, except that you are racking up major Karma points by making me so happy).
Haha, Hollibel— you called it! And I’m sure your husband, who obviously loves it, thinks it’s great— it’s just people who AREN’T into it don’t like…. And yeah, you’re also picking up on my foreshadowing that rough, “harder, faster” sex is AWESOME!!! (But yes, helmet on for this one-- or boxing gloves aimed at Ginny).
So, this one is pretty short, but pivotal…. And then we can get to the good stuff (only a tiny bit longer now). Thanks for everyone who is sticking with it!
~O~
BLIND-SIDED
“You!” Harry breathed with an animosity he didn’t know had been welling up inside of him.
He hadn’t been prepared when he stepped out of the Floo at The Burrow to see Ginny and her dark-haired lover snuggled up, shoulder to shoulder in some “innocent” looking intimate contact, content on the couch laughing over old family photo albums. The two girls looked up agape but hurriedly schooled their expressions as Molly bustled into the festively decorated sitting room with a tray of appetizers and a pitcher of eggnog.
“Ah, Harry! Good to have you get here so early! I’ll just fetch another cup then, yes?” she came up around his back towards the coffee table with her Christmas Eve offerings of good tidings for the girls. She went back to gather another glass from the cupboard.
When she twirled abruptly to return to the kids, she brought a startled hand to her chest; she hadn’t realized that Harry had silently followed her out of the room. Once her heart rate calmed, she muttered in a low tone in his ear and a gentle hand on his arm, “Demelza, the poor dear, been staying here since November.”
(Demelza! Ah, Harry thought, he knew it started with a “D”, had a “Z” sound in there somewhere and ended with a vowel!)
“Gringott’s finally foreclosed on her ancestral home, had nowhere to go. Like family now, she is…. We’ve finally gotten her to agree to participate in a large group gather-- most weekends everyone comes over she is too shy and hides up in the attic, I suppose to give you and Ginny their room, the sweet lamb….”
And then a bit louder, she spoke to them all as they shuffled into the living room (as though she didn’t sense any tension at all), “I understand you all played Quidditch together at school?”
Harry’s blood was buzzing in his ears.
(Molly’s words, ‘their room’ were echoing and repeating through his brain. Now that he thought about it, since the revelation that she had a partner on the side, Ginny made sure that they were never alone when he visited her at The Burrow-- except for the random nights he spent there in her bed, out of obligation and duty to keep up appearances or being too inebriated to Floo successfully-- wondering and staring at her back as she went straight to sleep. And Demelza was in the attic?!)
He’d spent almost two months waiting for Ginny to explain or bring up the Halloween incident; he himself had no words to broach the subject himself-- and didn’t understand why the FUCK he would be the one who had to!
For all that he’d held things together on his end and tried to act like everything was fine in front of the Weasleys, she never once sought him out to talk things through. He hadn’t realized how much her silence on the matter had been festering under the surface until seeing them together as if it was the most natural thing in the world to have your lover at a family gathering-- especially one in which your spouse who knew about the affair was going to be present!
Harry looked at the pair all cozy on the couch in appalled disbelief before he stormed out, his old boots pounding down the weather-worn porch steps. He couldn’t deal with it! His breathing became dangerously rapid as he tore out the back lawn and furiously stomped across the frosted, crunchy grass. He vaguely heard Molly exclaim her surprise and urge her daughter to go after him and see what was amiss with her husband.
Great! He snorted in disgust as he dragged his hands through his hair, pulling out a few in the process. Her precious princess knew exactly what was wrong! Just what he fucking wanted to deal with-- a confrontation with Ginny when everyone was going to be trying to hold it together and fake cheerfulness!
She found him out behind Arthur’s shed a several minutes later; she had obviously not been in any hurry to check on him. Harry wasn’t in any rush for this either, but he’d resigned himself to the fact that at least they would finally clear the air. (Thankfully, the wait gave him the chance to get his heaving chest under control) He glared at her as she ambled around the corner; she just looked put out.
The silence stretched.
Finally, she huffed and spat, “What the HELL is your problem?” Harry just gaped at her. Was she serious?! He spluttered a bit until she hissed, “This Christmas is going to be hard enough on everyone as it is without you making a scene!”
“You think I don’t know that?” he seethed back. “How did you think it would go, me bracing myself to come be with your family and act as if everything is just peachy, only to find you cuddled up with your lover? And to find out she’s been living with you since I walked in on you?”
“Mum told you about that then?” she muttered more to herself than to him, then gathered a head of steam, “Demi’s my best friend, Harry!”
Harry was speechless. He wasn’t sure, but maybe his mouth hung open in an uncouth way….
Ginny grimaced at him like he was some sort of evil gargoyle.
“It’s not like I’m going to let her be alone on Christmas Eve! You have no idea what it was like last year—We had to stay at Hogwarts because my parents said it wasn’t safe for us to come home. We had to wake up Christmas morning to find Snape in our Common Room, coldly informing us that her family had been slaughtered. Do you have any clue as to how horrible that was? No, of course not, you got to be all cozy around your campfire, all safe and drinking cocoa, hidden away from all the horribleness!”
Harry blanched, is that what she thought? Thanks to the Dementors, he knew exactly what it was like to lose family! And they were having fun last year? They were safe?!
(Well, he had to concede that, by some unspoken agreement, the three of them (and including Bill and Fleur) had never breathed a word about that episode when Ron abandoned them or the events at Godric’s Hollow because her brother’s shame would have become apparent.)
He shuddered, his mind flashing through all the terror and trauma of that night that he’d been trying to suppress all day— seeing his parents’ graves for the first time, being attacked by Nagini, Voldemort coming after them…. his wand being broken!
“We were anything but safe, Ginny! Our Christmas wasn’t good either!” his temper finally got the better of him. “You were at school and we had to stay behind wards because we had Death Eaters, Voldemort, Snatchers AND the Ministry after us!”
“So did we!” she spat in self-righteousness. “We had to look over our shoulders every second! We got tortured!”
“Were their orders to kill on sight?” he sneered. Ginny just squinted at him, her face reddened. “Were you on an impossible mission to save the entire world?”
Then she growled, “Oh, so you say you hate the “Saviour” crap, but the minute it suits you—“
He cut her off with a growl of his own. “It was a fact that people were counting on us!”
“YEAH! And you let a lot of people down, dawdling and lazing around on your little camping trip. People DIED Harry, while you three were off fooling around, taking your own sweet time,” she accused, then murmured, “probably having threesomes or passing Hermione back and forth every night while other people suffered….”
Harry sucked in a horrified gasp. “You know that’s not true, don’t you dare say that!”
“What, that you didn’t work fast enough to keep students from being smacked around and scared? Or that Hermione wasn’t a source of stress relief for you two?” Her face wore an ugly smirk that Harry made him want to gag. “Though having to sleep with Hermione would be suffering enough….”
“We did the best we could, as quickly as we could….” She really knew how to play on his guilt and he was starting to deflate. “But how did you think I would react to coming into the house and seeing you with the woman you cheated on me with? And then learning that you’ve been carrying on with her this whole time?”
“Cheating?!” she scoffed, “Oh please! We are best friends. We find comfort, acceptance and pleasure with each other. I said you could join us! Fuck, what normal male doesn’t want to have a threesome? Really, what is wrong with you?” She looked at him like he was a moron. “And it’s not like there’s a chance I’d get pregnant with another man’s child!”
Harry was gob-smacked. (He was pretty sure that having orgasms induced by someone other than your spouse constituted being unfaithful!)
“I walked in on you two…. It’s not as if we planned together to bring in a guest-star!” He gulped and then processed what she’d said, “Hang on, so you’re saying you would be fine with me going off on my own and having sex with my best friend, as long as there was no chance at conception?!”
He grimaced at her unrestrained guffaws; it actually made him hurt in his chest (and a point under his navel).
“As if Ron would have sex with you! (Actually, he hadn’t been thinking of Ron at that moment) “Even if he wasn’t hopelessly straight and pussy-whipped by Miss Prude, you think he would want to handle the weird shit you are into? Thanks for the laugh!”
“So, first we’re all having threesomes every night and then Ron wouldn’t touch me? Hermy’s a whore and then she’s a prude? How the Hell does that even work?” He felt his anger bristle once more. “You know what? Don’t answer that! I don’t EVER want you to hear you talk about them in any way EVER again!”
She turned away and sulked, arms crossed stiffly over her chest. “Fine! Whatever. Are you coming in now? Are you quite through with your little hissy-fit?”
“Are you quite through parading your girlfriend in front of me?” he countered petulantly, trying to wrap his head around how he could possibly act as if nothing was bothering him by being in the same room as Ginny and her “best friend” that was actually her main sex partner. It wasn’t so much that he was hurt that he wasn’t the object of his wife’s affections, it was more that he resented being in a situation where she had someone special and he did not. He was STUCK.
“What kind of a cold-hearted bastard are you?” the auburn-haired witch seethed, “How could you consider kicking her out on Christmas Eve when you know it is a terrible time for her! Are you seriously that selfish?” She made a shuddering sound of disgust. “And you wonder why I prefer the gentle touch of a loving woman!”
Harry bit back the sting to his pride and retorted, “I know you prefer that! It’s painfully obvious! I just—“
The fiery redhead cut him off. “And why wouldn’t I? I always have to do everything in bed! It’s lame, ok? Why do I have to do all the work to get myself off?”
“Because you never let me do anything!” Harry was reeling, trying to keep up with all the contradictions she was throwing at him (she certainly had a lot of tricks up her sleeve to keep him off balance!). “Everything I try, you have me stop! You get all exasperated and tell me you’ll do it yourself!”
“Because you don’t do anything right! I have to take over! Do you have any idea how many times I had to have sex before I got to come? Waiting around for the guy to figure it out? I told myself since you didn’t know anything yet, I could teach you the right technique straight away and save myself a lot of grief.”
Harry was gob-smacked. So it was a beginner’s thing? It took a while of having sex before you started having orgasms? But her next bitterly bellowed bile-laced statement quashed that notion:
“You’re a guy, you’re going to come anyway no matter what.” She flipped her hair back haughtily, “What you do would never get me off, it’s too strange! It’s all slobbering and biting on my neck like a vampire and then humping and grunting, like an animal attacking me. You’re too fast and jabbing, as if you’re trying to poke my uterus out of my throat!”
Harry felt his genitals shrivel and want to wither and die. (There was nothing more emasculating than having someone SAY out loud how wrong his sexual instincts were….)
“Eurghh!” she sneered with derision, “and what is it with tugging on your balls as if you’re trying to pull them off?! It’s like you’re some pain-freak! Where the Hell does pain have any place in love-making? And the nipples-- pinching and twisting! My God, that is the creepiest thing of all!” Her screech grated in his ears.
She sarcastically cupped her hands around her mouth like a megaphone before she yelled, “News flash: you don’t have breasts! Why the fuck would you be interested in touching your own nipples at all? You’re supposed to be a man—“
And even though Harry thought his stomach couldn’t plummet any further, it did as she took another deep breath to continue her tirade.
A very disheveled (obviously caught mid-shag but hastily clothed and shocked-looking) Ron and Hermione burst out the shed’s door; Ron’s fist hard against it so that it hit the adjoining wall with a sickening crack.
He wanted to crumble into dust. There was no way they hadn’t heard the entire argument.
Ron would now think he was a depraved degenerate that physically hurt his sister with his perversions. Hermione would know that he was an inadequate man, incapable of being strong enough emotionally to handle a real romantic relationship and satisfy a woman. They would both shun and ostracize him for being the abnormal freak that the Dursley’s always said he was.
He’d lost everything that meant the most to him.
His best mate’s face was beyond crimson as he growled, “Bloody buggering FUCK, Harry!” and tore after his sister who was flouncing her way back to the house. Hermione looked close to tears, and brought one hand away from where they had been clapped over her open mouth, reaching out to him.
Aaaaaand of COURSE! There was a zip in the air above the frozen, stagnate vegetable patch as Charlie’s Portkey activated, sending him floating down to join the family after he’d spent the day he’d promised to visit with his friends in Romania.
“Nooooooo….” The mortified brunet whimpered, seeing Charlie’s smiling face and then it faltering as he took in the scene, glancing back from his two siblings crackling with animosity and his extended family and friends radiating sorrow. That was the last straw.
NOW he’d lost everything he held dear.
His best girlfriend— most likely EX now-- whined his name but he barely heard it over the blood rushing in his ears. “NO!” Harry screamed in anguish with his arms wound around his head and ripping out locks at the base of his neck.
The-Boy-Who-Wanted-To-Die turned on the spot and Apparated as far away as he could manage in his current state.
~O~
A/N: I know, I’m so mean to Harry right now…. But I love him and he WILL get his happy ending (soon enough).
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