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The Pain Of Loss	By : Kitkatislovely95 Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Harry/Snape Views: 4673 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I own nothing of Harry Potter fandom. I make no money from this story.

Chapter List
- 5
- 6
- 7
There is SLASH SEX in this chapter, so just a warning.

I own nothing. :(

“Harry, are you ok?” Harry was startled out of his thoughts by Hermione’s concerned voice across from him. He looked up into her brown eyes, silently raising an eyebrow.

“Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?” He asked not unkindly. He might be tired and have a really fucked up feeling about today, but he had no reason to be a git to the only people who gave a damn about what he was going through.

“You just look tired, is all. Maybe you should go back to the dorm and lie down for a bit. I’ll make an excuse to Professor Snape.” Hermione said softly, reaching out to touch his hand.

He marveled at how much Hermione seemed to care for him, and felt a sliver of happiness, though it quickly died away as he recalled just who she had mentioned.

“No, I’ll be alright. Besides, I’d hate to give Snape another reason to take points from Gryffindor.” He gave her a small smile in thanks for her offer of lying, knowing how much she hated to do it.

She smiled in return just as Ron finished eating, what they had been waiting for before they left the hall.

It had only been a week since Harry’s return, and Professor Snape’s class had been the hardest to stomach throughout that week. Although he hadn’t said much to him, Harry had the distinct impression that he was watching him with a calculating eye. It was unnerving.

They walked to the dungeons in silence, Ron splitting off to go to his own class as he didn’t have Advanced Potions with Harry and Hermione. Getting to the door before anyone else, they sat down and waited for the others and a certain Head of House to arrive.

About fifteen minutes later, everyone had finally shown up, and Professor Snape himself swept toward the door. He opened the door, sneering at the Gryffindors as they entered in front of him while he held the door open.

“Hurry up; I do not have all day.” Severus said his deep voice filled with distain. He hated his Advanced Potions classes more so than the others because there were so many ignorant children in what was supposed to be a class meant for the more skilled few. Instead it had become a class for all of those who had managed to slip by when passing their OWLs.

The only good part of this class was that he could watch Harry without it seeming out of the ordinary. And today, he had to watch closely; he had to find something to give the boy detention over, as today was the day he intended to put his plan into action, and he was very good at finding things to pick on Harry about. After all, he had had years of practice.

He walked swiftly into the room, going to the board and tapping it with his wand, making the instructions for the day appear.

“You should know what this is and if you do not, then you shouldn’t be in this class. Get started. Now.”

As he watched the students get up to retrieve the ingredients needed, he mused on who he had partnered Harry with in the middle of last year, while he and Harry were still lovers. He’d been a bit surprised when Dean Thomas had been put into his advanced class, but he had been and Harry had been put with him in the hopes that he could save the potions they made together, as well as the desks and other students in the room; it wasn’t as if the boy was horrible in Potions, he just got distracted too easily. Alas, his plan had worked; Harry had become much better at Potions when he had to be the one to pick up the slack for his partner.

Now, though, his thoughts were far more self-centered. With this pairing, there were always a few mistakes, even if the potion was salvaged in the end. He could use that to his advantage….

The first mistake came when Thomas added an ingredient at the wrong time because he had been staring at a container of some still live ingredient or another across the room, thus causing the potion to become a sickly green color, when it was supposed to be a pale purple, while starting to bubble excessively. Harry calmly poured the neutralizer for that specific potion into the cauldron, returning it to the color they had started with, as if the ingredient hadn’t been added at all.

“Mr. Thomas, if you would pay attention to what you are doing that would not have happened. Potter, please try to keep your partner’s focus on the task at hand. If the potion doesn’t come out right, I will hold you responsible.” Severus said quietly, his voice a deadly whisper.

He watched as Harry simply cocked an eyebrow at him, saying nothing and adding the correct ingredient to the potion and began stirring it.

The next was neither of their faults, but Draco’s fault… at Severus’ prompting. Harry had been telling Thomas to put in the next ingredient, and had failed to notice Draco putting black rose petals into his cauldron, which wasn’t supposed to be added until the very end and not nearly as many as Draco had dropped in. It was an ingredient that you couldn’t neutralize and the effects of it were quick and efficient; the potion blew up, splattering the entire room in the now black colored liquid. Luckily, when added at that time, it didn’t hurt the people it landed on, unless rubbed into the eyes or swallowed.

The entire room was so quiet it didn’t sound as if anyone was breathing, all waiting for the explosion of their Professor. He never took kindly to his precious ingredients being wasted.

“Potter! What is the meaning of this?” Severus said harshly, taking down his quickly erected shield as he stalked toward the two boys that had ruined the potion. He, of course, knew what happened, but he had to put on a show.

“I don’t know, Professor. We had been doing everything the board said…” Harry started but Severus quickly cut him off.

“Well, obviously, you hadn’t been. If you had, the potion would still be in the cauldron and it would be a light blue. This,” he hissed as he motioned around the room at the still covered walls, desks, and students. “Would not have happened, had you been following my direct instructions. 50 points from Gryffindor and a week’s detention, for the both of you.” Severus couldn’t help but feel triumphant at succeeding in his mission.

“That’s completely unfair, Professor. It was an accident.” Harry said and though it lacked the old bite it once would have held, the anger was still there.

“I don’t care, Potter. You not only wasted ingredients in your insolence, but you have also made a mess of my classroom. You deserve to be punished for that, at the very least. And if you continue to talk back, more house points will be taken and you will have another week of detention.” Severus said, his voice lowered, making him sound angrier then he really was.

Harry, however, just got even madder.

But instead of saying anything, he picked his sludge covered bag up off the floor and with a glare in Severus’ direction, made his way towards the door.

“If you walk out that door, Potter, you will sit detention with me, every night, for three months. Add that on to losing another 100 house points and sitting back down would be the wiser option.” At his words, the other Gryffindors began to urge Harry to sit down while the Slytherins snickered quietly.

Harry turned around and eyed Severus for a moment, and he must have seen something in Severus’ eyes because realization seemed to dawn on him. He narrowed his eyes and his lips tightened into a thin line.

“I’m going to do what my father would have done. I’ll see you in detention tonight, Professor.” Harry said dully, though he seemed to spit the word professor at him, and walked out the door, still covered in the black concoction that had once resided in his cauldron.

Severus knew the meaning behind those words. He also knew he deserved the flare of pain in his chest, though the pain was for a completely different reason then it would have been before. Those words reminded him of what he had done to Harry, how much pain and betrayal he had caused Harry to feel. It had been Harry’s way of reminding him of what had happened between them and why he suspected Severus had done it. Before, he would have been reminded of James’ free spirit, something he had loved about the man at one time.

Now, though, he thought of James with only fond thoughts. He had two guesses as to that. One, because he now felt the love he had once felt for the father, for the son; not because of their similarities, but because of all of their differences. Harry was never anything like James and he loved him all the more for that.

The second guess, one he never would have thought possible before, was that he had finally forgiven the man for breaking his heart all those years ago. He had once been told that after you’ve forgiven someone, you think no longer on hurting them or being angry with them. You think of only their happiness, think of the good times you spent with them instead of all the bad things that happened.

Now, Severus could think of nothing but seeing Harry tonight, and finally, finally, having him have to listen.

~HPSS~HPSS~HPSS~HPSS~HPSS~

Harry stood outside Severus’ door, nostalgia settling in for moment. He remembered coming here and having Severus pull him into his arms and taking him immediately to his bedroom and making love to him. Harry sighed. If only he had known then that it was all a lie. He wouldn’t have let his heart get so involved.

He knew he shouldn’t have come here tonight. He shouldn’t have walked out the door in class earlier. He had realized just what Severus had been up to the moment he looked into the man’s eyes and saw the triumph there. It had angered him even more though, and with his last words he had had to make himself leave before he attacked his professor with no liable reason, that he could tell anyone that is, as to why.

With a sigh he raised his hand and knocked softly. Upon hearing the voice that he loved so much telling him to enter, he opened the door and stepped into the room.

He didn’t get the chance to do anything but close the door before he was pushed against it and his mouth was claimed by lips he was oh so familiar with.

He wanted so badly to just give in to the temptation and kiss Severus back, but he didn’t and instead brought his hands up to the warm hard chest and pushed as hard as he could. Unfortunately, Severus had expected that and moved his hands away from the wall where they had been forming a cage around Harry’s head to wrap his long arms around Harry’s upper body, effectively trapping Harry’s arms almost completely between their bodies.

His hands began to slap at Severus’ chest, though lacking any sort of force behind them due to their current position, anything to get him to stop torturing him with the heat of his lips, the pressure of their bodies pressed together. His hands slid up to yank at the older man’s hair, pulling a growl from his throat and making him kiss him harder, his tongue coming to lick at Harry’s lips, asking for entrance.

Oh, Merlin, how was he supposed to fight this? How was he supposed to tell the man that he loved to stop touching him, when it had been too long since the last time? He had no idea and suddenly, all thought left his mind as Severus’ hand trailed down to his arse and squeezed softly and he couldn’t fight it anymore, didn’t care to. No matter if this was just one night, no matter if Severus told him he regretted it and not to get his hopes up that this was anything more than a one off, he didn’t care.

Just for tonight, he would let himself go and give in to what he so desperately wanted, needed.

His hands hooked around the back of Severus’ neck, holding him close to him, and he opened his mouth to the wet organ still prodding at his lips.

He moaned loudly into his lover’s mouth; it had been so long since he had felt this much passion, this much fire. He felt like it was burning the blood in his veins and he never wanted it to stop.

He was hoisted up and his legs automatically wrapped around his love’s waist. He felt himself being carried somewhere he didn’t care to know, as long as Severus touched him, skin on skin, soon.

Severus laid Harry gently down on the rug Harry loved to lay on in front of the fire, where Harry had always read and ended up falling asleep. He sighed at the fond memory as Harry’s mouth began to trail down his neck, giving him sucking little kisses, leaving a trail of moisture where his mouth had just left.

Severus thrust his hips into Harry’s, loving the moan he gave as their cocks rubbed together though their trousers. Harry continued to kiss him as Severus began to unbutton Harry’s shirt.

Oh, fuck it had been so long since he had felt his small lover’s hands on him. He had missed Harry; missed his soft lips as they caressed his skin with the utmost reverence; missed his hands that had trailed across each scar, making the memory of how he received them not matter because Harry made it feel so good when his tongue would follow his hands’ path. He vowed that he was get that back; he would have this man in his arms for the rest of his life.

Severus pressed Harry farther into the rug and pulled away from his lips, a whimper of disappointment leaving both of their mouths. Staring down at Harry for just a moment, he saw the lust he was sure was showing in his own eyes projected back at him.

Not giving Harry any time to regain function of his brain, he slowly began to kiss the pale flesh that was revealed to him with each button that he loosened from its hole. He got the last button undone and pressed a line of soft kisses just above the waist band of his lover’s trousers.

Harry moaned softly as Severus moved his lips up to his belly button, letting his tongue peek out and licking around the little indention before plunging into it, wiggling his tongue around, remembering the reaction it had always gotten from Harry.

He wasn’t wrong in his assumptions as Harry’s body began to writhe on the floor in pleasure. He smiled slightly at the reaction, but didn’t dwell on the area for too long; he had other things he wanted his mouth on much more.

He leaned up to lap gently at Harry’s dusky nipples, first the right than the left, while he undid the buttons on Harry’s trousers. He decided he would spell his own clothes off, seeing as how he had way too many buttons on his shirt and vest.

Harry’s hips lifted at Severus’ urgings, his trousers and pants both being pulled off in one go. He shoes were pulled off in Severus’ annoyance at being hindered any long from the treasure he so desired. His hand slowly began to stroke the erection presented to him, nestled in a patch of black pubic hair.

“Merlin, you’re beautiful like this. Flushed in pleasure, lips bruised from my kisses, cock hard for me. I want to see you like this every day, Harry. I want to pound into that tight hole, make you remember who it was that caused the ache whenever you sit down. Do you want that, love? Tell me.” Severus whispered, his eyes not leaving Harry’s face.

Harry moaned, either at his words or his voice he wasn’t sure, and panted, “Yes, Gods yes, I want that. I want it so bad. Please.”

Satisfied with that, Severus leaned forward to lick gently at the bulbous head presented to him, his tongue making slow circles around it. He flicked his tongue into the slit, tasting his lover’s precum.

He wrapped his lips around the tip of Harry’s cock, loving the moan his warm wet mouth pulled from his young lover. He slid his mouth down Harry’s length, the head hitting the back of his throat. He had long ago tamed his gag reflex; after all, he was almost forty.

He spent the next few minutes licking and sucking on Harry’s pretty cock, because it really couldn’t be described as anything else, mostly just to hear Harry moan the way he did. His hand reached up to cup Harry’s balls, rolling them between his fingers as they continued to tighten as Harry got closer to his release.

He slid his fingers into Harry’s mouth and he dutifully sucked on two digits, getting them wet for what he knew to be coming. When Severus thought they were sufficiently moist he reluctantly pulled them free of the warm wet cavern and reached down to push the tip of one of his fingers into Harry’s clenching hole.

As he eased one finger in, he pulled his mouth from Harry’s cock to let it rest against his stomach while he moved to suck one of Harry’s balls into his mouth. Thrusting a finger in and out of Harry’s tight orifice, Harry moaned loudly, arching his back in pleasured pain at the stretch he hadn’t had for quite some time.

Severus eased the second finger into his hole, scissoring them apart to open his lover for his cock. He kissed up the underside of Harry’s cock and took the head back into his mouth, suckling gently. He soon found Harry’s prostate and made sure to brush it every time he thrust his fingers back into his love’s arse, listening to the breathy moans the came out of Harry’s mouth.

Just as his lover was about to come, he pulled back and squeezed the base of his erection, stopping his orgasm. Harry moaned in disappointment, his eyes pleading as they stared into Severus’ black orbs, but he just held on until he was sure Harry wouldn’t come from a simple touch.

Pulling his fingers free he whispered, “Now for the best part.” He summoned the lube to him with a silent spell. He grabbed a pillow from the sofa and put it under his love’s hips to make for easier access.

Spelling his clothes off, finally giving his erection a break from trying to fight its way out of his trousers, he liberally coated his cock and Harry’s hole with the lube before lining his head up with the winking entrance.

Looking into Harry’s eyes, he slowly began to push in.

Harry was in ecstasy as he felt his lover push into his arse. He forced his body to relax against the intrusion, knowing how bad it would hurt if he didn’t. His eyes locked with Severus’ as his cock sank inside inch by inch. After so long, the stretch burned but all he could think about was the fact that his one and only love was making love to him again.

Finally, Severus was fully sheathed inside the tight hole. He stayed still while he let Harry get used to it, but that wasn’t what Harry wanted.

“Move. Please, Severus, please move. Fuck me…” His voice trailed off into a loud moan as Severus leaned down to brace himself on his arms next to Harry’s body, pulling Harry’s legs up over his shoulders and began to thrust, long and deep. He pulled almost all the way out, rolling his hips on the way, before plunging back in. It was the way Harry had always liked it.

But now, he wanted it hard and fast. Severus had gotten him worked up and he wanted to come as Severus spurted his seed deep inside of him.

“Faster, Sev. Harder. Gods, fuck me hard and fast, please.” Harry pleaded with his lover in his ear, his arms wrapping around his shoulders, folding himself in half in the process, and holding on tight as Severus did just that, hitting his sweet spot with each thrust.

Severus began slamming his hips forward into his lover’s body, groaning as Harry clenched his muscles purposefully around his cock. Without actually thinking about it, he began whispering into Harry’s ear.

“Oh Merlin, Harry… so hot and tight… fuck, I could stay like this forever. Would you like that? Do you want me to stay buried in your tight little arse forever?” Severus moaned at Harry’s answer was to thrust back against him, achieving deeper penetration.

Bracing himself on one arm now, Severus reached down to wrap his hand around Harry’s cock and stroked in time with his thrusts. Soon, they were both coming; Harry’s come splattering their chests as Severus filled him with his seed, groaning each other’s name.

Severus let Harry’s legs fall to his sides before collapsing on top of his lover, wrapping his arms around him, knowing Harry liked it when he did this, as they both fought to catch their breath.

After what felt like forever, Severus pulled himself out of Harry, enjoying his quiet whimper of disappointment; he conjured a warm wet wash cloth, gently cleaning Harry’s body of sweat and come. He looked into Harry’s eyes, seeing the confusion and hesitance in them.

Once done, he let Harry dress himself while he went to retrieve a pair of his sleep pants and a muggle t-shirt. He would never have dressed this way in front of anyone else; no, only Harry could see him like this.

Looking at Harry and seeing him fully dressed again he said, “Seeing as how you have another two hours before your detention is over, I believe we have much to discuss.” He noticed Harry looked a bit nervous, but he nodded anyway.

He knew they had a long night ahead of them.

Hi. So, what did you think? I'm kind of nervous about the sex scene, because I don't write them often, so tell me what you thought of this chapter.

xoxo,

kitkat
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The Pain Of Loss