Adult-FanFiction.org : Harry Potter

I just wanted to ask	By : evil-minded Category: Harry Potter AU/AR > Slash - Male/Male Views: 31281 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 11
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any character from it, Rowling does … I do not make any money out of Harry Potter either, again – Rowling does … I however do own Herbaceous VanHarkins – but I don’t make money of him also … :D …

Chapter List
- 5
- 6
- 7
Author's Notes:

Uhm … ok … I have to admit … English is not my language by birth … so … please do not kill me while reading … neither for the bad English I use, nor for what I am writing …

And yes, I really would appreciate it, if you would honor my work with a short review as I always will honor your comments with an answer … Answers to reviews you have given or the chance to discuss the story you can find here: http://www2.adult-fanfiction.org/forum/index.php/topic/34437-review-replies-for-i-just-wanted-to-ask/

Warning:

Story contains references to child abuse:

Child abuse is a really serious thing, it is an evil thing and there are a lot of children in our world that really would need help without being helped, and closing our eyes and pretending it does not exist – is no solution … handle people, children as well as adults, which are showing any signs – whichever – of once being abused … with understanding and with help …

what does not mean I am not as evil as I pretend to be … ^.~ … believe me – I am …

Story contains adult stuff:

Especially sex between two men … as there is Harry Potter – a male – having sex with Severus Snape – another male … what means those gay things … not to mention that the relationship between the two of them is one based on BDSM …

Don't like it, don't read it …

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Previously in I just wanted to ask

"I shall keep you safe with my life." Snape whispered into Harry's ear, speaking the ancient words unconsciously. "I shall protect you with my last breath I own. And I shall care for you with my last ounce of will. But I shall not share you with any other human being on this earth, neither man nor woman, nor will I ever betray the trust you placed into my hands."

I just wanted to ask

Chapter six

A new situation

Severus Snape was sitting behind the desk in his office, a cup of tea in his fingers and waiting for Harry, his mind wandering back to the events of the previous night, not sure if he had made the right decision.

On one hand he thought yes. Potter seemed perfect to him. He was a handsome young man and he was kind, respectful and caring. Now that he had seen a new side on the teenager he had begun to see other things than his hatred, things that he had missed during the years because he had not been ready to see them.

But now – well, it was not lack of manners whenever Harry hadn't answered his questions. It just was his strange inability to voice his thoughts – and his feelings – sometimes. And it wasn't that he tried to ignore him whenever he averted his eyes, nor that he tried to lie to him. It just was his strange insecurity that seemed to befall the boy at every turn he took.

Harry was small and slender, a bit too thin, yes, but he could work on that with watching the teenager's eating habits. He would however fit perfectly into his arms. He would be able to lift the boy perfectly without any efforts. And he would be able to care for him, to worry about him and to protect him in all means.

The boy was young and inexperienced. He would be able to teach him in ways that were entirely new to him. He would have to be careful, yes. The boy was nothing like the men he'd taken during the years. And he would have to be patient too, yes. The boy would be startled too easily, would maybe even be afraid. But he would be able to show him things he never had dreamed about. He would be able to teach the boy how to allow himself to feel.

And – not to mention the fact that Harry was submissive. The most important fact, as he – Snape – never would play a submissive part in any relationship. He had dominated his sex-partners since he had been educated in the arts of BDSM so many years ago. Back then he had allowed himself to play the submissive part in order to learn and only because of that. But that was long years back and that had been difficult enough too.

But now – again somehow the Potions Master felt that there suddenly was a part in him that had been missing, a part that now was back and filling a space in him that had been empty for years, that was now back in place where it belonged to and it felt right.

There was a reason suddenly.

But on the other hand, Harry was a teenager. The boy maybe didn't want to have a long lasting relationship yet. And maybe he soon would find a much younger man than him and then he would abandon him. The teenager surely didn't know what he wanted yet and he would throw him aside as soon as he would have a better choice.

He – Snape – was an old man after all. Compared to the boy. He was twenty years older than Harry. He could be his father. He had attended school with the boy's father, damn.

And he wasn't good looking either, he knew this by himself. He wasn't as handsome as Harry was. The first war had left his scars on him, as had this second war already. Nor was he a kind man. He was a cold and indifferent man and he was a tough man, dark and cold and difficult, this also he knew by himself.

And then there was the fact that he would have to be careful with Harry. Something he was not used to. He was used to handle the men whom he had sex with roughly. He was used to feel pain and he was used to cause pain. And he wasn't used to care.

But he would have to care for this boy. He would have to be gentle with him. The brat was young and inexperienced, he was small and fragile and he was insecure to no end. He much too easily would hurt the boy, physically and mentally, if he wouldn't be careful.

Well, and last but not least – somehow the boy was afraid of a lot of things.

Snape nearly laughed.

Harry had faced the Dark Lord – or his Death Eaters – at the end of nearly every term now since he had come to Hogwarts. He had faced a troll, a basilisk and a dragon. And still he was insecure and afraid of all-day life. Of him even, and he sighed. Presumably Harry's fear towards him, Snape, would even deepen at first, now as they had a relationship and he was the senior partner in their relationship, the dominating part and Harry the junior partner, the submissive part, he thought, until he learned that he would not have to fear him.

Well, Harry had announced that he trusted him yesterday. That he trusted him blindly with his life. But Snape nevertheless knew that – even if the brat might believe himself that he trusted him – the teenager nevertheless feared him. That he really feared him. Not like the other students who just feared his sarcastic comments, who just feared him taking points from their houses, who just feared him to give out low marks and detention. No, Harry really feared him, he knew that the boy feared his hand, and thus he knew, the boy feared being beaten by him, whatever reason for.

He didn't understand it, but he knew that he was right, he had seen the brat watching his hands. And he knew it wouldn't be easy with this teenager. Not to mention the fact that it was the first time he took someone under his care to educate him in the art of BDSM. Not to mention the fact that it was the first time that he took someone as a permanent partner. And – not to mention the fact that it was the first time that he considered having a relationship with a teenager.

There were just so many first times right now and …

The usual soft knock from Harry made him looking up and he quickly shunned the worries he felt off his face and replaced them with his indifferent mask he always wore.

"Enter." He then called out and got to his feet.

"Ev'ning." Harry murmured his greeting after entering the office, shuffling his feet for a moment over the stony floor and after watching him carefully, questioningly, searchingly, he quickly looked aside.

"Good evening, Harry." Snape said, watching the teenager for a moment with a thoughtful expression on his face.

Potter smiled for a second at his use of the boy's given name but immediately his face was back to unsureness, watching him warily, as if he feared the situation might have changed since yesterday evening and Snape lifted his eyebrow at him before he turned towards a door between the bookshelves.

"Act sanely." He muttered towards the picture of an elderly wizard sitting in a dungeon and the door swung open.

"Follow me." He then said, turning towards Potter and he waited until the teenager was close before he entered his private quarters, ignoring the elderly wizard who watched him and Harry suspiciously.

"I thought this might be a bit more comfortable than my office." He then said, crossing the large room and waving his wand towards the fireplace to evoke the flames to life.

Harry stood near the entrance door, not sure where to place himself and hesitantly he looked through the room.

The room itself was not really dark, even if it was down in the dungeons and no windows were here to allow any light in. It seemed as if a small light was coming from nowhere, illuminating the room into a soft glimmer that reminded him at candlelight. The furniture was of a dark but warm and welcoming brown and the walls in here as well as in the man's office nearly were covered completely with bookshelves. A side board stood to one side of the room, a piano and a small table stood opposite the entrance door and to the left was a large sofa, two armchairs and a coffee table near the fire.

"You might take a seat wherever you wish, Mr. Potter." Snape said, waving his hand towards the sofa and the armchairs and slowly Potter walked over and sat onto the edge of the armchair farthest away from the fire and again the Potions Master lifted his eyebrow at him, shaking his head. He poured tea into both cups and shoved a plate with sandwiches that stood on the table closer to the teenager.

"Eat." He growled. "I have noticed yet again that you have eaten nothing today besides of – nibbling – at a toast during dinner."

Potter cast a careful look at him before he hesitantly took a sandwich, mumbling something about not being hungry and Snape huffed unbelievingly.

"Uhm … may I ask a question, sir?" Harry asked carefully, his voice unsure and hesitant.

"You already do, Mr. Potter." Severus drawled, smirking at him. "But yes, you may ask as many questions as you like."

Well, he wasn't sure if thus suggestion really was a good one. It might be that the brat would overcome his shyness some day and begin to ask holes into his stomach.

"Uhm … well … I just wanted to ask … are you … we …" Sighing in frustration the boy placed the sandwich back onto the plate. "I mean … the situation hasn't changed overnight, has it?" Harry finally ended his question and he sighed again, this time with relief. It was out. He had worried about this question the entire night.

For a moment the Potions Master wanted to say that he of course invited his students into his personal quarters at a regular basis and that thus of course it had noting to say about the status of their relationship but he decided against such an answer. The brat was insecure enough and he – just for once – should keep his sarcastic comments to himself.

"No, Mr. Potter." Snape's grip on his mug of tea tightened. Of course the situation hadn't changed overnight. "The situation still is the same. Otherwise I surely would not have invited you into my personal quarters. Or do you believe I invite my students in my personal quarters regularly?"

The short smile he gained for his answer was invaluable and he was glad that for once he had restrained himself from giving a snarky reply. "Eat." He simply said and Potter took the sandwich and took another bite.

"As your primal fear seems to be pain, fear, and what could happen otherwise, that BDSM is cruel, I want to cover the safety of this kind of sexual interaction today." Snape began and swallowing Harry placed the sandwich back on the plate.

Well, of course he had known that this wouldn't be over just because he … well, had a relationship with Snape now. But he hadn't expected the teacher to go on with this so quickly and so … as if nothing had happened. He had thought that maybe the man would want to talk about more private subjects. Not that sex wasn't a private subject, it definitely was. But he had thought that they … well … that maybe Snape would want to know more private things … such as what color he liked, or what kind of food he preferred, or … well … anything else but such a sudden continuation of their previous conversations.

"I already have expressed to you how important safer sex is." Snape leaned back in his armchair and crossed his arms in front of his chest. "Aside from the general advice related to safer sex, BDSM sessions often require a much wider array of safety precautions than typical sexual behavior without BDSM elements. The very broad range of different BDSM toys and physical and psychological control techniques requires a more far-reaching knowledge of details related to the requirements of the individual session, such as anatomy, physics, and psychology."

Harry gave no answer, he only nodded and he had to admit that he was quite relieved that they finally came to something that sounded safe.

"There are two poles on which BDSM is built on, as I already have explained to you." Snape explained. "The first is safe, sane and consensual. The other pole of the construction that is BDSM is trust, honesty and communication."

"That finally sounds safe and sane." The brat murmured and Snape had to suppress a grin.

"BDSM is safe and sane." He said. "As long as it is consensual and practiced in a safe and sane way."

"Maybe." Potter sighed. "But somehow I still cannot relate … well, BDSM … to safe and sane. And not to consensual either."

Snape nodded. "Not now." He said in a quiet voice. "But maybe one day you will think otherwise."

"And if not?" Harry asked carefully. "Would you … I mean …" He broke off, looking aside, not able to look into those dark eyes for any longer.

"You mean, would I abandon you if you would not want to practice BDSM?" Snape asked and he gained a hesitant nod from the boy. "Nothing would change then, Potter." He reassured. "We just would not practice BDSM then."

"You mean – you wouldn't … I mean … well …"

"For Merlin's sake, no, brat." Snape shook his head. "I would not throw you away if you would not want to practice BDSM. Nor if you would not want practicing BD or DS or simply SM. Did I make it clear to you now?" He asked, wondering if he had missed any holes where the boy could have misunderstood him.

"Yes, sir. I'm sorry, sir." Potter murmured immediately and for a moment Snape closed his eyes and shook his head again. Well, he had known that the boy would fall deeper into his fear before he would begin to loosen up. Whatever reason for that was, he wondered again.

"There is no need to be, Harry." He said, his voice calmer. "You asked a reasonable question."

This time the teenager gave no answer and Snape settled on continuing his explanation.

"The fundamental principles for practicing BDSM require that it should be performed by mature and responsible partners, of their own decision and in a safe way. In order to ensure the maximum safety and comfort for the participants certain standards of behavior have evolved during the past decades, these include aspects of courtesy, privacy, respect and safewords among others. These basic principles have been condensed into the motto 'safe, sane and consensual', which means that everything is based on safe, sane and consenting behavior of all the involved partakers. This mutual consent makes a clear legal and ethical distinction between BDSM and crimes such as sexual assault or domestic violence."

Potter meanwhile had pulled off his shoes and now had drawn his feet onto the armchair, as close to his body as possible, as if he wanted to make himself as small as possible and he held the mug with the warm tea close to him, as if he tried to find warmth from the piece of porcelain. Snape said nothing to this, just frowned. Not at the fact that the brat had pulled his shoes off and had drawn his feet onto the armchair, if he felt comfortable this way, then be it. But at the fact that Potter tried to make himself as small as possible.

"To ensure consent related to BDSM activity, pre-play discussions are absolutely necessary, especially among partners who do not know each other very well." Here Snape paused to fix the boy with a serious gaze of his dark eyes to make his point. He knew that the teenager didn't like to actually talk about sex. Yet – he would have to learn it. "And here is the first overlap between the two poles. Consensual from the first pole and communication from the second pole, what thus proves that both poles overlap into each other. They come along with each other and you cannot separate them. However, these discussions concern the interests and fantasies of each partner and establish a framework. Additionally, safewords are arranged to provide for an immediate stop of any activity if any participant should so desire. It simply must be possible for both partners to withdraw his or her consent at any given time. Failure to honor a safeword is considered the most serious misconduct that can take place in BDSM and can even change the sexual consent situation into a crime as any actions which follow the use of the safeword is explicitly revoked."

"What exactly is … a safeword?" Potter asked unsurely. "Is it a spell? Or is it a simple word? And how can a word stop such things?"

"The safeword is not a spell as wizards and muggles often get mixed up together when it comes to this kind of sexual interaction as there are not too many people within the muggle world accepting BDSM as appropriate." Snape answered the question, glad that the teenager finally had begun asking them. "It is a simple word. Yet, it is not a simple word as 'no' or 'stop', as sometimes 'no' actually means 'yes' and as sometimes 'stop' actually means 'more'. The most common one is 'red' which means every action will stop as soon as you say it. And it will stop." He added, sensing that this was the teenager's primal fear when he asked how a simple word would be able to stop any activities related to BDSM.

"You might hand the control you normally own over to someone else, Mr. Potter, but when it comes down to it, then nobody besides of you has it." Snape said. "That means, if there is a situation that you cannot handle anymore because it is getting too much for you, then you can either slow things down with a safeword like for example 'yellow', or stop things immediately with a safeword like for example 'red'. All you have to do is to say your safeword. This safeword will be your lifeline, your safety belt, your emergency break, your anchor – whatever you want to call it. Don't ever use it lightly but don't ever hesitate to use it if you need it."

"Uhm … wait a moment, sir." Potter said in confusion when he paused to wait if the teen had understood what he wanted to tell him and he lowered his head to one side in a questioning manner. "Well, sir … how … how can 'stop' mean 'more'? And how can 'no' mean 'yes'? I mean … 'stop' and 'no' are two clear words. They mean … well … they mean … just to stop."

"You might be right in a normal situation where nothing like sexual stimulation is involved." Snape sighed, not knowing how to explain it but knowing that the teenager was not ready yet so he could show it to him. "When being stimulated like this, then the submissive partner often is not able to really voice what his body wants. The brain takes other directions than the body wants. And so he might utter a 'no' during the pleasure he feels even if he actually means that the situation is pleasant. Or he mutters a rash and inconsiderate 'stop' under the strain of pleasure he feels while he actually wants more."

Severus watched the teenager nodding and something like realization crossed the young face. He seemed to see the point, even if he slightly paled and he wondered if the thought really startled the boy or if there was something else. Somehow he didn't like the far adrift look in those green eyes that seemed shocked and – somehow guilty?

"Harry?" The Potions Master asked, watching the boy close.

A brief, almost unnoticeable pause took place before Potter finally turned his eyes towards the Potions Master and Snape suspected the teenager might soon come to regret beginning a relationship with a spy that was used to notice each sign on his facial and bodily features.

"Are you alright, Harry?" He asked, concern audible in his voice, even for him.

"Yes, of course, sir. Sorry, sir." The sixteen year old answered. Yet – his voice didn't sound as if he really were alright. His voice rather sounded as if he were startled out of his wits, whatever reason for. They were covering a quite safe topic.

He would keep that in mind for a later point too.

"Very well, then. Safe and sane are terms that belong together." Snape continued when he was sure that Potter had no further question to this at the moment. "It plainly translates into use your brain, even if you are stimulated, and don't allow the situation to get out of your hands. Don't try stuff like bonding, flogging, caning or even more so cutting, if you do not have experience with it. Let someone show it to you for you can seriously harm people if you do not know what you do. Every sane participant of BDSM has to understand practical safety aspects, for instance they recognize which parts of the human body have a risk of damage to nerves and blood vessels by contusion or have a high risk of scar development. The fine motor skills of a good top and his anatomical knowledge can make the difference between a satisfying session for the bottom and a highly unpleasant experience that may even entail severe physical harm."

"That sounds not really safe." Potter murmured and again the boy averted his eyes, looking at the fire, at the wall, at the mantelpiece and then at the floor. "It sounds as if a lot could go wrong."

"You are right, Mr. Potter." Snape said. "There actually is a lot that can go wrong. What is the exact reason why it is important that you use your common sense and your gut feeling before you play with someone you do not know just because you are needy. That would be insane and not sane. Nor safe. If your common sense warns you that this might be a partner who does not regard safety or that this might be a scene that you might not want to be a part of, then listen to yourself."

The teenager nodded and Snape continued. "It might be possible that you just need to learn more about what is involved in the setting. Then talk, talk again, and finally talk some more. Ask questions, and vocalize what you want and what you do not want. But maybe you do not wish to play with this scene at all, for whatever reason it might be. A good and sensitive top will accept that. If not, then you should decide that you should not play with this person at all."

"What if … what if the partner does not listen? Or does not care?" Harry asked, fear clearly visible in his eyes this time, together with something Snape definitely recognized again as – guilt and he narrowed his eyes in confusion.

"Then it is not consensual." He repeated. He definitely was more patient than he had thought he would. "And if it is not consensual, then it is abuse, remember that, Mr. Potter. As I have said, both or more participants involved have agreed to play with one another. They have talked about a certain setting and about what they want, about what they are ready to do and about limits or things that do not go at all. That is, where the communication comes in again. And from there it leads to trust. Play only then with a partner if you can be absolutely sure that you can trust him, if you can trust that he will respect your boundaries and your limits, if you can trust him that he does not mean any harm to you and if you can trust him that he knows what he is doing. Use your brain and your common sense before you get into a situation which you cannot handle anymore."

"What won't be a guarantee." Potter murmured and Snape nodded.

"No, it won't be." He said. "What is the reason why you should play with someone only then if you can be sure that you can trust this person blindly."

"But how can one be sure that he can trust?"

"You can be sure if you know the person long enough and good enough. You told me yesterday that you trust me, Mr. Potter. And you have given me a more than satisfying explanation as to why. But, answer me a question. Do you know that you can trust me? Or do you feel that you can trust me?"

"Uhm …" Potter made and he actually blinked in confusion at him. "I don't know, sir." He then answered. "I guess … I just know."

Snape nodded. "I feared as much. I hoped that you would be able to say both. That your knowledge told you that you could trust me, and that your feeling told you the same. Yet, I somehow knew that you would not feel it, because you do not allow yourself to recognize what you feel. As I already told you, you just have to allow yourself to feel. But as you never have done so, you actually have to learn this. You have to learn how to allow yourself to feel."

"I'm sorry, sir." The brat murmured and he shook his head, reminding himself again that he knew that the boy would be scared by him even more now before he would learn with time that there was no reason to fear him at all.

"I did not mean it as a criticism, brat." He growled. "I merely meant it as a fact."

The teenager nodded his acceptance and the teacher continued his explanations.

"Safe also means that it is necessary for the top to be able to identify a bottom's mental breakdown in order to avoid it or to comfort and calm the bottom as quickly and as efficiently as possible." He said, nearly chuckling at the eyes that grew larger than he had thought possible. "Such losses of emotional balance due to sensory or emotional overload are the most common BDSM emergencies. In other words, it is important to follow the bottom's reactions carefully and continue, change or stop therefore. You seem to be startled by this."

"Uhm … well … I didn't think about that being possible …" Potter murmured.

"Believe me, it is possible." Snape drawled. "And it is, as I already said, the most common emergency when it comes to BDSM. And here we come to trust, honesty and communication. A consent and pleasant situation can be granted only by people who are able to judge the potential consequences – and risks. And for their consent, they must have all relevant information such as the extent to which the scene will go, what safeword will be used, potential risks, disabilities or diseases, etc. at hand, and the necessary mental capacity to judge the scene, the person and the possible outcome of the situation."

"But, what if such things like disabilities or such are private?" Potter asked. "What if one would not want to give such information away?"

"Then you better keep your fingers off this person." Snape answered and his voice was severe. "You also can name it under the terms safe, sane and communication. It simply means that the bottom has to inform the top if he has some kind of physical limitations like for example low or high blood pressure, joint diseases, allergies or other disorders, or if there is something that surely would trigger bad memories. The top simply needs to know such things to keep the bottom safe. It is the responsibility of a top to keep the bottom – and himself – as safe and as sane as possible. What he only can do successfully if he knows about the diseases and the mental state of his bottom."

"Oh …" Potter made and Snape huffed at him. Of course Potter made 'oh'. The boy was a walking disease, worse than he himself after his youth and two wars during which he acted as a spy. Alone from what he had seen the past few days he knew the teenager suffered from an eating disorder, he was sure he suffered from a sleeping disorder as well, considering the tiredness the brat displayed, maybe caused by nightmares or such. From the occasional flinch, or the boy curling into a small ball whenever possible, or him being tense otherwise, he knew that he would have to face a panic attack at the first opportunity, and the general insecurities and fears the teen displayed told him that there was a lot more hidden underneath the surface.

Not a person he ever would have considered to play with, he noticed. Yet – it had happened, he was in a relationship with this teenage walking disease and he would have to deal with it as best as possible.

"Oh, indeed." Snape drawled, lifting his eyebrow at the teenager. "Just one simple example. Would you have told me of your left knee hurting you whenever you move in a wrong way? Or whenever you sit still for some time without stretching your leg?" He smirked at the dumbfound look the brat gave him and he lifted his eyebrow when he got no answer. "Of course you would not have. What maybe could have led to the result that perhaps I would have fixed you in the wrong way and maybe would have hurt you because I did not know about it had I not noticed it by myself."

Still Potter just blinked at him and Snape continued. "I only then am able to keep you safe if you tell me what troubles you suffer from. Not only you have to be able to trust me that I would keep you safe, but I as well must be able to trust you that you will tell me everything I have to know so I actually can keep you safe. Do you begin to understand what I mean?"

Potter still looked at him startled and Snape easily could see that the teenager was close to a panic attack. His hands had – yet again – become a complicated knot in his lap and he was sure that not even the boy would be able to unwind those fingers easily. His breathing was much quicker than it had been during their conversations the past days and the pale face held two eyes that were much too large with fear.

"You do not have to do so right now, Potter." He said to ease the boy momentarily. "I understand that you have problems addressing special things, a lot of things actually. But I do hope that given time you will learn doing so. And then I do hope that you will address me with what I need to know in order to keep you safe. Not to mention in order to help you in the first place."

Harry could only stare at his fingers that tried to hide between and beneath themselves. He knew that the Potions Professor was right. He had been behaving in ways that were frustrating, even to himself. He had made a fool out of himself during days now, stammering and stuttering and at some points giving no verbal answer at all.

Well, it wasn't that he was doing so on purpose. It just seemed that so many different thoughts and so many different feelings were coursing through him, and all of them seemed to be so … intense. And he wasn't even able to name them all. That was the worst part of it. He wasn't even able to describe them or to know what they meant.

Was Snape right? Was he unable to feel? Did this mean that he was an uncaring and cold bastard like they so often had Snape accused of? Did this mean that he wasn't … that he didn't …

And had Snape just said that he wanted to fix him? He swallowed dryly and tried to get his breathing back under control. There was no way he would allow Snape doing this. Absolutely no way!

Snape watched the boy with a thoughtful expression on his face.

The boy was startled and something he had said to him had made him upset beyond limits. He had already been upset earlier when he had told him of the safeword. Whatever reason for. One should think that a safeword would be something that he thought a safe subject to be – well, just safe. Even to discuss.

And whatever it was he just now had said, it seemed it had added to his earlier upset state and was now leading into a panic of some kind.

It surely was not the fact that he knew about his knee – or that he was a walking disease in the first place – nor that he had to tell him special things. He hadn't seemed so upset then. Upset yes, definitely. But not to this point where he barely was able to breath. Had he gotten his words wrong when he had said that he would have to be able to trust the boy as well as the boy should trust him? Had he taken his words as an accusation?

Possible, but – not what he really thought.

'What maybe could have led to the result that perhaps I would have fixed you in the wrong way and maybe would have hurt you because I did not know about it had I not noticed it by myself.'

Well, that sentence was more likely the one that could have upset him enough so he would get into a panic.

"I know that you told me you trust me, Harry." He said, hoping he was right with his assumption. "Yet – I also know that you do not trust me enough yet so you would allow me to actually fix you. But believe me, I will not do so against your consent. It is a foreign topic to you and you will have to get used to it as well as I have to get used to having a relationship with a teenager with whom I actually have to be slow and careful. Until then, I am capable of restraining myself and to keep my hands off you, as you already stated that you know, I am not a man who rushes into things. I will wait until you are ready. And now come here and try to calm yourself, brat." He added, gripping the boy's shoulder and pulling him closer. He forced himself to ignore the boy's flinch and placed one hand onto the back of the teen's head, pulling the boy's head against his shoulder and placed the other arm around the teen's shoulder, pressing the smaller body against his own in what he hoped was a gesture of comfort, and he once again felt that it was right, that he was whole now, that there was back a part that had been missing.

break … ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ … line

To be continued

Next time in I just wanted to ask

The Potions Master gives the student a token to show the teenager belonged to him …

Added author's note

thank you for reading - and yes, I would appreciate it if you took the time to review this chapter, thank you …
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I just wanted to ask