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Amore et Amicitia	By : Kimmimaru Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Sirius/James Views: 6687 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any characters or settings by JK Rowling. I make no profit from this story.

Chapter List
- 5
- 6
- 7
AN: Hope this is an enjoyable story for you all, I am certainly enjoying writing it. I hope that if you like it a lot you could do me the Honour of leaving me some much needed feedback? It does help me develop as a writer and it makes me happy to see what other people think. Thank you.

Chapter Five: Secreta et Mendacii (Secrets and Lies)

James sat in the compartment and gazed out the window, he watched the other students saying farewell to their parents and climbing on board, he smiled to himself as he spotted his class mates. When the compartment door slid open he turned with a grin expecting to see Sirius standing there but was slightly disappointed when he saw it was Remus.

“Hello, how was your summer?” Remus asked as he pushed his trunk into the rack above James’ head.

“Fine, yours?”

“Alright. Did you hear from Sirius?”

James shook his head and sighed heavily, he messed up his hair absently and returned to watching the platform. “I thought he liked us.”

“Yes, so did I.” Remus sat down beside his friend and patted him on the shoulder. “I’m sure he was just busy, James.”

“I hope so.”

They were later joined by Peter and they sat around playing exploding snap for a while, James eventually fell asleep while Remus tucked his nose into a book and Peter gazed out the window as it began to rain.

XXX

“I’m surprised to see you here, Black. I would have thought you would be cosying up to your Bloodtraitor friends.”

Sirius glanced over at Lucius Malfoy, he was leaning on the ledge of the window with one arm and resting his head in his hand. He was pale with a single black eye and bruises covering his thin wrists, in response he shrugged. “I suppose I could have been but I have to look after my brother.”

“Of course, family comes first in all things...blood is thicker than water.” Lucius smirked.

Regulus shifted nervously and looked down at his feet. “Sirius?”

“Yes?”

“Will...will mother and father hate me if I don’t get into Slytherin?”

Sirius turned to him and smiled. “Maybe, but if you do, I’ll protect you.”

“Promise?”

“Always, Reg.”

“And if I’m sorted into Slytherin?” Regulus watched his brothers face fall slightly, it was quickly covered but he couldn’t have hidden his initial disproval.

“It won’t matter, you’re still my brother.”

He nodded but couldn’t believe him, Gryffindor and Slytherin hated each other and somehow he knew that if he was sorted into Slytherin Sirius would have to hate him too.

“If you are sorted into Slytherin, Regulus, you should be proud. Our house is the best, we have produced some of the most powerful and influential Witches and Wizards of all time.” Lucius said as he looked up from the newspaper in his hands. “You shouldn’t be ashamed of your heritage.”

Sirius returned his eyes to the scenery, ignoring the self-satisfied smile on Malfoy’s pointed face. He didn’t want to be berated for his choice, not after enduring a whole summer of intense abuse, he was just happy to be returning to Hogwarts.

At the Welcome Feast he sat as far away from his friends as possible, delaying the inevitable questions and trying to think of excuses to cover up the bruising he knew covered his frame. By the time the food was cleared away and they were dismissed Sirius hadn’t thought of a thing, so he gathered his Gryffindor courage and returned to his dorm to face the music. The room was quiet as he arrived, James was lying on his bed upside down while Remus was packing away his things methodically. Peter was sitting on his bed and when he spotted Sirius he smiled.

“So, what happened this summer?” James asked as he watched Sirius seat himself gingerly on the bed.

“Oh...I was busy with family stuff.” He said with a casual shrug, trying not to wince as unhealed wounds stretched across his back.

James sat up properly and looked closely at Sirius. “Where did you get that black eye from and why wasn’t it healed?”

Sirius touched the bruise that he knew was beneath his right eye, he had a brief mental flash of his father’s fist descending towards him but he quickly pushed it aside. “I fell.” He muttered, much too quickly, he risked a glance at James and Remus and saw raised eyebrows, he knew they didn’t believe him.

“Fell into what? A fist?” James half-laughed.

Remus nudged him with his foot before walking over to Sirius. “You look like half a panda, here, let me heal it.” He pulled his wand from his robes and pointed it at Sirius’ eye, he spoke the spell and the bruise disappeared. “There, now I don’t feel like you should be eating bamboo.” He smiled and walked away again.

Sirius touched the place the bruise had been and smiled to himself, at least his friends had not abandoned him due to his lack of response over the summer. The thought made him feel warmth spread through him, easing the ache in his heart. He sighed and rummaged in his trunk, throwing clothes in every direction as he searched for his pyjama’s he found them in a crumpled heap at the bottom of his trunk and began quickly disrobing, as he slipped his robes over his head James gasped audibly and Remus let out a shocked noise. Sirius froze, his eyes widening as he let his robes fall back into place.

“Sirius! What the hall happened to your back?!” James said loudly. “It looks like you were attacked by an angry Hippogriff!” He had leapt half off his bed in his surprise, Sirius’ eyes were huge in his pale face like a cornered deer, he took a few quick steps backwards before stopping. “Siri...?” James stepped closer, forcing Sirius backwards until he was pressed into the wall, his heart hammered in his chest as he considered all the repercussions if his friends discovered what he suffered at home. “Did you do that in the fall? Why didn’t your mum heal it for you?”

For a moment Sirius gaped at him before relaxing and forcing a smile. “She was busy.” He muttered. “It’s not a big deal, I’m used to it.”

Remus watched him from the corner if his eyes, Sirius’ fingers shook as he disrobed properly and turned around to pick up his pyjama bottoms. His back was a mess of brutal looking wheels, they covered his skin from the nape of his neck right down to the base of his spine and as he removed his trousers he revealed huge bruises on his thighs and a hint that more welts covered his backside. Remus bit his lower lip, whatever had happened Sirius obviously didn’t want to talk about it so he followed James’ lead and only exchanged significant looks.

Sirius climbed into his warm bed, sighing as he revelled in the softness and the knowledge that he was safe from his parents at least until Christmas. He smiled as he closed the curtains around his bed but he paused as he watched James leaning over to put out the candle, Sirius’ eyes travelled his lithe body scanning his pyjama top and travelling down towards the bit of belly showing beneath the pale blue fabric. He felt something stir within him as he saw the way his muscles worked as he stretched to reach the candle without leaving his bed, his pyjama bottoms slipped down enough to reveal the skin just above what Sirius knew would be penis, the cloth was pulled tight over it revealing the bulge in intimate detail. Then, James let out a triumphant laugh as he reached the candle and everything went dark. Sirius closed his curtains and lay back breathing harder than was really necessary considering all he was doing was lying still. He gazed blindly up at the dark cloth canopy above him and swallowed a sudden lump that seemed to suck the moisture from his throat. The one thing he was glad about was that the odd feelings James had stirred in him gave him temporary respite from having to re-live the disappointment of his brother getting sorted into Slytherin like a good little pureblood.

That night he slept fitfully, disturbing dreams filled his head, he saw a shadow hovering above him, whispering soft things in the darkness and making his skin erupt in almost painful heat that alternated with cold flushes. He rolled away from the mysterious shadow but hands slid over his body, making him mutter and moan softly, his skin crawled and he shuddered violently as weird feelings assaulted his senses, immobilising him and filling him with fear mixed with a torrent of other, indecipherable emotions and intense overwhelming feelings. He was on fire, he was doused in ice and there was an odd building pressure in his body that made him feel as if he wanted to explode. It built and built until his eyes flew open and he gasped in a sharp breath his body trembled, sweat stained his forehead and he felt tingles racing across his skin. He groaned heavily and shifted in his blankets, he uttered a soft, wordless exclamation of shock as he felt damp. His first thought was that he had wet himself, he flushed with humiliation as he lifted the covers to check out the damage. He reached down and felt about, his whole groin was covered in a viscous fluid and it suddenly clicked as to what had happened. He sighed and fell back into his pillow while he calmed his racing heart, he realised that he was going to hate puberty.

XXX

It felt strange as he walked the corridors with his friends the next morning, James was his usual happy-go-lucky self and kept his arm firmly around Sirius’ shoulders as they walked to breakfast while he chattered away. Remus walked at their side with a small, content smile on his lips while Peter tagged along behind them, as they walked the crowds parted for them, already they had begun to gain a reputation amongst their peers for being talented pranksters. Sirius was distracted all through breakfast, his eyes lingering on silly details concerning James, the way he wore his shirt un-tucked, his tie lying halfway down his chest. The way his hair shone in the light from the enchanted ceiling, the way he brandished his fork as he loudly told half the Gryffindor table about a muggle boy he had managed to best in a little scrap down his local park. Sirius found his eyes wandering aimlessly over his best friends body, spotting stupid details like the fact that his trousers were ever so slightly too tight around his groin and revealed the shape of what lay beneath the layers of fabric. Sirius felt again that odd sensation, like lava flowing through him and pooling in his gut, he took a shuddery breath and tore his eyes away from James’ crotch and determinedly stared at the Slytherin table. He shifted in discomfort as he realised that the crotch of his trousers felt uncomfortably tight as thoughts of James filled him with odd, disturbing feelings. He bit down on his lower lip and hoped against hope it went away before lessons, he didn’t think he could stand the embarrassment it would cause if someone was to see him like that.

XXX

Over the next few weeks Sirius was plagued by his bodies overactive Hormones, he began to become irritable, angry at everything and terrified that he was going to humiliate himself in front of his class mates. He knew that what he was going through was perfectly normal, it was a natural process but it was inconvenient to say the least and the strange feelings increased and were made ten times worse when he was in close proximity to James. He would find himself watching his friend for long periods of time, his school work began to suffer because of the distractions and the letters from his parents began to come more frequently. When he was sat beside James in History of Magic listening to Binns drone on and one his mind would fill with his friends scent, it was soap and sweat and boyish-ness and it made Sirius feel giddy, he inched his chair further from him, pretending he had to reach his bag by his feet, but it didn’t stop the heat from flushing his body.

He was haunted by dreams of such intensity he woke in a cold sweat, he dreamed of a familiar voice and soft strong hands holding him in an intimate way. The dreams left him feeling more confused than ever, it made him fear the question of who the voice belonged to. Half formed memories danced behind his closed lids when he tried to sleep, he could feel those hands gliding over his trembling body and feel the hot breath on the back of his neck, his instincts told him something was very, very wrong but the memory of that familiar voice made him feel safe and wanted, it made him feel comforted which confused him. If only he knew what the memories and dreams meant.

XXX

Sirius sat at the Gryffindor table, it was Saturday morning so he was eating at a leisurely pace while James waited for the post. His mother was going to send him a new broomstick, his old one was outdated and he wanted to take it flying and start his years training before he could try out for the house team when he turned thirteen. When the owls flew in James looked up with a whoop of excitement as a pair of large owls flew towards him carrying a long package, Sirius smiled as they dropped it before James and he tore into it. Sirius watched until pain lanced through one of his fingers and he swore loudly, looking down he saw a dark grey owl eyeing him with its baleful eyes, he knew who it was. Slowly he swallowed his toast and untied the letter from its foot, he eyed the formal Black seal warily before stuffing it into his pocket to read later.

“Sirius!”

Sirius turned along with half the other Gryffindors to see a small skinny boy running over to them, his tie was green and silver. Sirius stood abruptly as several others rose from their seats. “Oi! Kid, you’re not welcome at this table, slide back to your own.” One boy said with a sneer. Sirius turned to him, their eyes met and the boy fell silent and sat back down, lowering his head.

“Reg, what do you want?” Sirius slid from his place and began guiding Regulus away from the Gryffindors who were giving him steely looks.

“Have you got the letter?” Regulus whispered as they neared the entrance hall, Sirius frowned but nodded. “Mum and dad are furious with you, Sirius.” He said with a strange look in his eyes. “Your work is slipping, they reckon you’re hanging around with that bloodtraitor again and I...”

Sirius put a hand on his brothers shoulder, his fingers digging too tightly into his flesh and he winced. “Don’t you ever call him that again!” he hissed through bared teeth. “He is NOT a Bloodtraitor! He’s my friend! If I ever hear you saying those kinds of things I’ll...”

“You’ll what?!” Regulus hissed back, pulling himself from his brothers grasp. “I’m worried about you. Mother is driving herself mad wandering what horrible things that boy is planting in your head...” He paused, licking his lips nervously before ploughing on. “Ever since you started school you’ve not been the same! Sometimes I...sometimes I don’t even know you anymore!”

Sirius remained silent for a moment before straightening. “I’m your brother, Reg, no matter what happens that will never, ever change. I’m not changing at all, I’ve always been different from Mother, Father and our cousins...you know I have.”

“Yes but you’ve never been this bad, father never had to beat you so badly before...ever since you were sorted into Gryffindor everything’s changed! I don’t want you to change! I want you to stop rebelling and apologise to mum and I’m sure everything will go back to normal....please, Sirius...”

Sirius gazed into his brothers desperate eyes before stepping away. “...Normal?” He whispered softly, his voice breaking slightly. “When has our family ever been normal?” He shook his head and walked away, leaving Regulus standing by the door looking lost and alone.

XXX

“Sirius?” James asked, leaning back in his chair one blustery morning break. They were trapped inside the castle while the ground howled with wind and the rain pounded on the roof tops, creating a cacophony of sound on the upper levels of the castle. Sirius jumped slightly, his mind had been dwelling on the letter his parents sent him, he had been throwing them into the flames as fast as he could, afraid to even open them. He had no wish for his parents tirade of insults to encroach upon his tenuous happiness at Hogwarts, so he ignored them and hoped that eventually they would go away.

He turned to James and blinked. “Yeah?”

“Have you ever wondered why Remus is so sick all the time?” He mused softly as he tipped his chair right back on its legs. Around them people spoke softly to one another, trying to avoid the detection of peeves the Poltergeist who was hovering over the students heads searching for a target. He floated over Sirius who looked up and gave him a small salute, Peeves returned it with a large raspberry and pelted off after some poor Ravenclaw girl.

“Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered weak and weary,

Over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore,

While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping,

As of someone gently rapping, rapping at my chamber door.

`'Tis some visitor,' I muttered, `tapping at my chamber door -

Only this, and nothing more.'”** Sirius replied, his voice soft as he spoke the lines of the famous poem.

James raised an eyebrow. “Well, that answers everything!”

“Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit, dear friend. What I meant by the poem was that there’s nothing suspicious about Remus being ill, you’re making more out of it than it is...’tis some visitor tapping at my chamber door.’**” He grinned at James’ puzzled expression. “I doubt it’s anything to worry about, Jamie. Cheer up.”

James scowled and slumped low in his seat as he ruffled his hair up at the back, Sirius watched him with a tiny smile on his lips. “Yeah...It could be just a sickness...” He said but his tone told Sirius that he didn’t believe his own words.

“Only this and nothing more.**” Sirius whispered under his breath as he watched Peeves throwing a nearby bin over the poor Ravenclaws head.

XXX

The stars were bright as they shone through the windows of the castle, Sirius and James walked up to the common room alone the moon had yet to rise and they trudged up the stairs with heavy feet. “Argh!” James moaned as he stumbled and caught himself using Sirius as support. “Bloody hell! Sprout sure knows how to punish someone! Merlin! If I wasn’t sure we were only in Detention I’d have thought she would have kept us in that green house forever! I hate Venemous Tentacular! If I ever see another evil vine again I’m going to set fire to it with no remorse!” He mimed blasting an invisible vine with his wand and Sirius chuckled.

“It got my hair and tried to pull me closer, good job Sprout was there to save me.” He grinned and rubbed the back of his neck where several clumps of hair had parted company with his scalp. It was in the brief moment of silence that the two of them heard soft voices and hurried footsteps. With a look at James Sirius grabbed his shirt and pulled him behind a nearby statue who tried to turn his head to see them.

The voices drew closer and it wasn’t long before James and Sirius recognised McGonagall’s brusque voice and sharp footsteps. “...Don’t worry, all the usual precautions have been taken care of, Lupin. You know what to do when you get there, I’ve told the Headmaster about your concerns but he has told me not to...”

The voice trailed off and James and Sirius turned their heads at exactly the same time, they mouthed a name to each other in astonishment; Remus?!

**Lines from the Poem ‘The Raven’ by Edgar Allen Poe.
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Amore et Amicitia