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In His Place	By : SpeedyTomato Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Harry/Sirius Views: 72876 -:- Recommendations : 16 -:- Currently Reading : 16
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, so sad for me, and make no money off this story, even sadder for me.

Chapter List
- 5
- 6
- 7
Beta'd by the amazing Tenchi. Love you, woman, you're the best!

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Chapter 6

Taking aim at the small orb in the sky, Sirius fired off the spell from his wand, grinning as it hit the tiny ball of glowing light, exploding it in a shower of sparks. Nudging James, he said, “This is still fun.”
“It is,” James admitted with nod, firing off his own shot and taking out the next small orb.
Standing on the small hill, one he thought was on the estate of James' parents, far away from any city lights, Sirius kept glancing towards one side of the hill. There, covering that part of the sky, was a window that showed the sleeping Harry. His godson was curled up in his bed, hair and body slick with sweat, muttering in his sleep, obviously in the middle of one of the nightmares that had woken him the last couple of nights. Sighing, he shook his head, not sure what to do. Part of him wanted to stay and talk with his old friend, playing at this old game, something they used to do to train for accuracy before Auror training. The other part, though, thought he should go wake his godson, to stop the nightmare.
“Don't worry about it, Sirius,” James soothed, firing off another shot, nailing the tiny ball of light. “Harry's fine, I promise. If it gets too bad, you'll wake up.”
“I'm worried about the nightmares,” Sirius said, firing off one more shot and exploding the small orb as he watched the vision that was the nightmare Harry was having in a small window below his godson, one of seeing Remus and Tonk's dead bodies on the floor of Hogwarts Great Hall. “These are bad and I'm not sure where they are coming from or if I can get them to stop unless we give him something like Dreamless Sleep. I don't want to do that if I don't have to as we're not sure if it'll counteract with some of what he's taking for all the other shite.”
Looking at his son, James smiled then told his old friend, “It's nothing to worry about. They'll stop on their own in a month or so. It's just going to take predestination to catch up with the spanner Lily and I threw into the works here, nothing more. Once it does that, he'll be fine and press on. He's just seeing what would have come to pass if we hadn't stepped in is all. It's disturbing, yeah, but it won't happen now. We made sure of that.”
Lowering his wand, Sirius watched as he, himself, fell through the Veil, shivering over that. It was a dream he had himself more than once since it almost happened. There was something beyond more than the eerie part of almost dying about it that made his skin crawl. “What do you mean by that?” He asked his old friend, confused. It was a dream, he knew that, but dreams were odd and could contain plenty of truths that you didn't see during the day.
Snorting, James grinned and said, “Yeah, Sirius, it's a dream. It's real though, trust me, and you'll remember it.” Raising his wand, he stopped the vision playing out below where Harry was lying right at where Sirius started to fall through the Veil. “That is the biggest of the changes we made. There was one more we set in motion about a year before. If this had happened, though, that other wouldn't have mattered and all of it would have continued on as fate planned for it to play out.” Starting it up again, James shrugged and gave a roguish grin then said, “It's not happening now, so it's nothing to worry about. All this shite is just what would have come if it had, nothing more. By next year this time, Harry probably won't even remember it.” Jabbing his wand at the small window the visions played out in, he sped it up, watching the major events that would come play out quickly through time skips.
Shivering, Sirius watched Dumbledore dying at the end of the spell from Snape's wand then falling, his hand blackened from the curse. Next came Snape dying from Nagini's bite, giving the memories of what needed done and of Lily. Seeing Tonks, Remus, Fred and so many others dead. Harry walking to his own death before coming back. Shaking his head, he muttered, “Shite!”
“It's nothing to worry about,” James told him calmly. “Lily and I made damned sure it wouldn't happen. This is what needed to come if we hadn't stepped in.”
Eyes locked on James, Sirius stammered, not sure what to say.
Looking at the small window, James moved it forward to the image of Harry and Ginny standing on Platform 9 ¾ seeing their children off as the youngest finally boarded the train for the first time. Stopping as the two watched the train pull out, he said, “That's what my son would have gotten if it had played out.”
“He has a wife and kids, good,” Sirius nodded. “That would have made him happy. Why did you prevent that from happening? That's what it sounds like your saying you did. I don't get it.” He asked, confused. After all, this is what parents usually wanted for their children.
“We did,” James confirmed softly, looking at his son, shaking his head. “Look closer, Sirius. Pay attention to the two of them.”
Concentrating, Sirius looked. He could see sadness there, as would be expected when you saw the tangible steps of your children growing up. He didn't understand any of it until James started playing it again. As he watched, he realized Harry and Ginny didn't even look at each other in it. There was sadness there, of course, some of it contributing from the children going away, but it was more. Quietly, he said, “He's not happy.”
“No, he's not,” James said, folding his arms over his chest. “My son is miserable. He has the life everyone predicted for him, what the world thought he wanted and should have with being the hero that saved our world, but it's all a lie.”
Speeding it up to another vision, that of Harry in his robes that designated him head of the Auror office, seated behind his desk, head in his hands, James said, “He did what everyone else wanted of him and what they thought he should be. Harry never wanted to become an Auror. Of the choices he was given for careers, he picked that, not because it was what he wanted, but because you and I were Aurors. Well, more you than me. He wanted to follow in your steps and make both of us proud. Then, later, it was because of what others did or thought, not what he wanted. What he wanted to do was something he never tried because he was forced to grow up so fast then had to make 'reasonable adult choices' when he should have been given a chance to do the one thing he adored more than any other. He decided to marry Ginny because he thought he would get what he longed for more than anything in the world, at least part of it; a family. That he did get, but the day before the wedding he knew it was a lie and the reason he was doing it was a bigger one. He had hidden from that lie from the time he was young, but knew it was there. Oh, he loved Ginny, don't get me wrong, and always will, even in the time where what Lily and I did to make it come to pass plays out. Just not in that way. Like so much else, despite not wanting to do it, he went through with the wedding. He had a wife that got what she always wanted and is happy, kids he does love with all his heart, a job he hates and, finally, a life that is a complete lie, something he can't tell anyone and makes him completely miserable. His hopes of having what he wanted died many years before this. So, he went with the myth and hoped he would get some happiness out of it.”
Looking at the vision of his godson as it changed to where he was sitting in a comfortable chair in front of a fireplace in what Sirius knew was his home, he shook his head as Harry drank firewhiskey straight out of the bottle, a miserable expression on his face. Ginny had left not moments before, happy, planning on going to see her family. He didn't know what to say, but his heart ached at what he saw.
“If this played out, Harry would sit every night, drinking himself into a stupor to deal with the life many would kill for, one he hates. Then death would come before he reached 100 at the end of a curse from someone he was trying to catch because Harry just didn't care anymore. No one would know that, of course, but it's what would come. He would resent his wife, slightly, for getting what he always wanted so long ago, though not enough for it to affect anything and it wouldn't be something he would ever show. Death was something he would look forward to as it would finally end the lie and his misery.” Stopping the vision where his son was sitting in the chair, looking dejected, at some point in his late 40's as the gray hair was just starting to show, James lowered his wand and said, “He went through hell only to be miserable for the rest of his life. That's what we stopped, Sirius.” Looking at his old friend, he said, “We weren't supposed to do that, as it's very much against the rules, but neither of us could stand to see that happen.” Gesturing to the screen and the picture of Harry, he added, “We pushed him onto a hard path, we know that, one fraught with all kinds of problems, but it's better than this.”
Thinking over what James said as he looked at Harry, Sirius asked, distracted, “What lie?” The only one he could think of he had never seen any signs of from Harry.
“The same one you've hidden from everyone for all these years, Sirius; he's gay,” James told him softly, with a smile. “He's known for years, long before he admitted it to himself, and desperately tried to change that. It didn't work. Oh, there were crushes, no doubt, like even you had on some, but it didn't change the fact that he likes men.” Grinning, he said, “It doesn't matter to us anymore than your sexual orientation did.”
Eyes wide, Sirius looked at his old friend then asked, tone wary, “You knew?”
Laughing, James said, nudging him with his elbow, “Yeah, I knew. Didn't matter anymore than Remus' furry problem. I knew about your crushes on a certain blond Slytherin and Snape. Though the latter was mind warping, I knew and it didn't matter. There were times I wanted to say something to you about working with it a different way than you did, but you had enough problems to deal with that I didn't think it wise to do that. You'd figure it out on your own eventually.”
Nodding, Sirius grinned, “I never could hide anything from you.”
“Never mattered, Sirius,” James told him firmly. “It still doesn't.” Nodding to the screen, he said, “When Ginny was ten, she fell in love with Harry. She didn't know that's what it was, of course. It happened though. Ron fell in love with Hermione their first year at Hogwarts. I fell in love with Lily the first time I gazed in her eyes our first year. Snape fell for Lily long before school ever started for us. And my son fell in love his third year, the same year he finally knew he was gay and knew what it was. Ron and I got what we wanted. Harry never would have, though Ginny would, because of something that was predestined. No, my son will get that same chance. That we made sure of.”
“Who is it?” Sirius asked, looking at the older, miserable Harry.
“You know because you felt it too,” James told him softly, smiling. Seeing the startled look there, one that contained some fear, he snorted and rolled his eyes, “Don't give me that look, Sirius. I know. You let everyone think what they wanted and let them continue on with that delusional thought that you saw him as me, but you knew too. You just never would have, that we know, until he was legal and you knew for sure.” Shaking his head, he said, “Harry fell in love with you the same way so many of the rest of us did with ours; it was the first time he laid eyes on you, despite how bad you looked. It was there. And you fell for Harry, not seeing me or Lily in him the way so many others still do. You shoved it aside, of course, and did the right thing, hiding it, but it was there.” Shrugging, he added, “You both now have the chance. Lily and I decided that. You've both lived a miserable life, so it's time you both managed to get something to make you happy.” Grinning, he added, “Never said it's going to be easy though.”
“Nothing ever is,” Sirius snorted, shaking his head and looking down. Thinking it all over, he lifted his eyes and looked at the sleeping, twitching Harry as those dreams played out. Quietly, he asked, “Why did you sentence him to this? He's going to suffer plenty over what happened.”
Cocking his head to one side, James looked at his son and said, softly, “Oh, that I know. There is plenty there and some still coming that's going to be hard. No doubt there. Some of this,” he said, gesturing to the window, “won't ever go away. Harry will have to be on seizure potions for the rest of his life. The weakness in his left side won't ever go away completely. He will get it to the point where it will only minimally affect what he does. The trembling will mostly go away unless he's very tired. When he's tired or it rains, he's going to have to use his cane. However, he's going to be happy. He'll get the chance to do what he always wanted and be happy when he does until he can't anymore. Then he'll move on to a job that he'll adore. He'll have friends that love him for himself and not have to worry about people wanting to be close for his fame. There are problems coming, especially when it comes to discrimination with him in more than one area, but he already has one friend rabid about that and she will put them in their place. There is another as well. That is just now starting. When they finish licking their wounds and find their first true friend in my son, they will make Hermione look like a cute puffskein in that area. And he's out of the war that would cause him so much pain.”
Taking all that in, Sirius nodded and sighed. Shaking his head, he said, quietly, “Albus might not let that happen, James. He's pulling something here, though we don't know what.”
“Albus had it right in the beginning, before Lily and I put our spin on it,” James told him gently. “Harry needed what was in his scar gone for this to end. Albus planned for that. It's gone now. Harry died and it went with that. Albus is now fumbling, not sure what to do. He wants to press on because he's not sure it is gone. Harry will prove it to him eventually. Give it time. Until then, just protect him like all of you are. Once Albus learns it is gone, he will change tracks and do the right thing. Then what you all need will happen; he and Rufus will come to an agreement and help each other. After that, this war will end. It will also stop all what you saw from happening. Those deaths will be avoided and the end will come in another way, the right one.”
Pleased with that, Sirius let out a sigh of relief. “Good! We're worried here about what he's doing.”
“He's working with what is there and what should have come. Don't worry about it and go about your plans until he realizes it. It'll come, I promise,” James assured him with a firm nod.
Looking down, Sirius thought over all of what was said so far. At the moment, the uncomfortable parts, like what he felt for Harry, weren't bothering him. That would come, he was sure, but it wasn’t now. There was one thing said that he was curious about. Quietly, he asked, “What is it Harry wants to do? He's said he likes History, but I get the feeling that's not what he wants. We can't think of anything else he can do with what he's dealing with. It limits so many options.”
“That's because you lot are being thick as bricks,” James said with a snicker and grin. “Think, Sirius; what does Harry love more than anything in the world?”
Pondering that, Sirius said, quickly, “Playing Quidditch. He can't though, not with what he's dealing with.”
Rolling his eyes, James reached out and gave his old friend a playful swat on the back of the head. “Quit being an idiot, Sirius.” Grinning when he saw the look there, he said smugly, “Forgot I used to do that, didn't you?” Sobering up, he said, “Nothing, nowhere, says Harry can't fly or play Quidditch. The seizures are under control. He'll have to work with the trembling and weakness, but even then those don't affect him steering a broom, even with his left hand. He's still damned good and has quick reflexes. Whatever problems he might have will be negated by his broom. Everything else he can do. Hell, he would probably be a better Beater or Chaser than he would a Seeker as he's getting too big for that. It's not something that is affected by his problems. He can easily do this.”
Nodding as he looked at James, Sirius admitted, “I didn't think about that. Yeah, he'd love it.”
“It would make him happy, I promise.” James assured him. “His career—you lot need to think, Sirius. He would love to study History, if it was taught by someone competent. Think about it, though; he's excellent at Defense, Charms and Transfiguration. Then ask Hermione, Ron and so many of the others he helped teach in the DA how good he was at that. And he liked it. Nothing, nowhere, says he can't do that. Filius is tiny and has physical limitations from that, but it didn't stop him from being a champion dueler, did it? Harry can teach or employ it to train in the DMLE, either one. There are many possibilities there, ones he would love. It will just take all of you thinking and looking at what's out there.”
Scratching his chin, Sirius admitted, “We didn't think of that either. Teaching usually comes after something else, though.”
“The DMLE would be fine. I don't mean as an Auror. He wouldn't like that anyway. There are other things he could do he would love. Ask Rufus to talk to him. He can lay out plenty of options Harry would adore and be good at, both. You know Rufus; if the body is willing, he's going to find a place for them and a use, especially in areas he needs. Harry has those, in abundance.”
“I will,” Sirius said firmly with a nod. “Let me get with Moody and have him fill Rufus in then see where it goes.” Grinning sheepishly, he said, “I don't think any of us thought of this.”
“I kept telling Lily I needed to come back to haunt you and Remus so I could kick you on the right path when you needed it,” James grinned, shaking his head. “You're both just befuddled without me steering you where you need to go. She put her foot down and refused to let me, though.”
Laughing, Sirius said, “Yeah, you did do that, I admit it.”
“Speaking of our favorite werewolf—you need to have a long talk with him, Sirius. If you don't and he doesn't get moving in the right direction, Lily promises she's going to give him the lecture to end all lectures one night,” James snorted, shaking his head while grinning from ear to ear.
“Oh, hell! A fate worse than death!” Sirius chuckled. “What do I need to pound into his thick skull to avoid this?”
“Tonks. The man is being an idiot. She adores him and the rest doesn't matter. Tell him that or Lily will. You know her, Sirius, he'll have his tail tucked between his legs for years if she has to.”
“He will,” Sirius agreed, nodding, still grinning. “Let me see what I can work with here.” Sobering up, he said, quietly, “I get what he's worried about. There's the stigma of what he is and how that'll be passed on to any kids. Then there is the money part. With laws now, he can't get a job. He doesn't want to saddle her with that.”
“Oi!” James said rolling his eyes. “Again, you two aren't thinking here! You both have a way to make more money than you know what to do with and its right under your damned noses!” Seeing Sirius look at him, confused, James grinned, “That map is one. Harry has it. Fred and George had it so they want it, badly. Harry never once told them who the Marauders were, so they are clueless as to who they are hero-worshiping. They will pay you damned well for that template and you can set it up by a percentage for each one they sell. Not to mention all those other oh so neat things we did in school. On top of that, you both can't tell me you couldn't come up with shite they wouldn't ever dream of. Please, neither of you are that respectable, Sirius! Once a Marauder, always a Marauder! The rest? Pfft! It won't matter. With who he's attached to and what's coming? It's not something he needs to worry about.”
“True, very true,” Sirius grinned, scratching his chin. “Yeah, let me see what I can manage here. I'll at least get him kicked in the right direction.”
“Good! He'll make good money and it'll be a steady income. That's all he needs.” James said.
“I'll manage, don't worry. Just gotta work with it here.” Thinking it over, he asked, quietly, his train of thought changing tracks, “I'm going to remember all this, right?”
“You will,” James assured him. “It might take a few days for you to realize it was a dream and real, both, but you will. After that—no one said it's going to be easy, Sirius. Harry is a lot like you in so many ways. He admits he's gay to himself, he knows we know and we assured him its fine with us. The spanner comes in when it comes to admitting it to anyone else and invoking the chaos that can come from that. He'd rather suffer in silence and long for you rather than admit it, then chance being rejected. Very much like you in that area.”
“My own worst nightmare there; dealing with me,” Sirius sighed, rubbing a hand over his face and shaking his head. “I'll work with it and go from there.”
“Give it time and go slow, that’s the only advice I have,” James told him honestly. Nudging him, he then said, “Come on, we can shoot a few more out of the sky and you can fill me in on what's going on before Harry wakes. We'll have fun.”
Readying his wand, Sirius nodded, grinning, taking aim at the orb that appeared then blasting it out of the sky. As he did that, he talked about all kinds of things, filling James in and getting some advice.

Eyes coming open at a noise, Sirius rubbed them, brow furrowed at that strange arse dream. Propping himself up on his elbow, he glanced in Harry's direction. As he thought, his godson was once more awake, shivering and dripping in sweat from a nightmare. Sitting up, he asked, gently, “Another dream, Harry?”
“Yeah,” Harry admitted, rubbing a trembling hand over his face and shaking his head. “This one was bad.” Shivering at what was in that dream, not to mention how 'real' it seemed, he was shaking worse than normal.
Grabbing Harry's wrist, Sirius pulled him over onto the edge of his own bed and wrapped an arm around him. “They'll work themselves out soon, don't worry. It's just a dream, though those damned things can be bad as I well know.” Holding him close, he said, “We'll lay down together. That should help.”
Leaning heavily against Sirius, Harry nodded. “I can deal with that.” The last couple of nights he had done that and it did make it better. If the dreams kept coming, feeling Sirius there made them manageable thus he was able to get more sleep. It was when he woke alone that he had problems handling all he saw and the emotions that came with them.
Lying down, pulling his godson with him, Sirius said, wrapping an arm around him, “I'm warning you now; you start to snore, I'm dousing you with water. We don't play that, Harry. Sleep is needed. I can't do that if you sound like a dragon with an upper respiratory infection.”
Chuckling and grinning at that, Harry pressed tighter to Sirius and draped an arm over him to get comfortable, “I don't think that's a problem here. At least you haven't complained so far.”
“Just putting it out there as fair warning if it comes,” Sirius grinned, looking down at him. Holding him close, he said, “They're just dreams, nothing to worry about.”
“I know,” Harry admitted. “They're just really disturbing and not something I'm handling well.”
“It'll work itself out soon,” Sirius soothed, shutting his eyes. As he drifted away, listening to Harry's breathing deepen as his godson fell back to sleep, the dream with James replayed slowly. Maybe that was real. He didn't know, but would have to think about it. At the very least, he needed to work with Remus. Even the mere threat of Lily lecturing him was enough to try to save his old friend from a fate almost worse than living death.
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In His Place