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The Long Road	By : SinisterMe Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Snape/Remus Views: 63598 -:- Recommendations : 3 -:- Currently Reading : 18
Disclaimer: This is a work of fan fiction using characters from the Harry Potter world, which is trademarked by J. K. Rowling. This story is purely for entertainment purposes, no money is being made from it.

Chapter List
- 5
- 6
- 7
SPOILER ALERT for The Half-Blood Prince contained in this chapter
Severus and Teddy went downstairs, meeting Fred in the kitchen. He was scurrying about; oven going and a couple of pots steaming on the stovetop.
“Hello, sirs,” he said cheerily, dumping some potatoes into the sink to be rinsed.
“Fred, I see you’ve got supper on the go already. I have someone here who is wondering if you would like some help again,” Snape said lightly.
“Oh yes, sir. The little one would like to help Fred with the potatoes?”
Teddy nodded hesitantly, stepping out from behind Snape and going over to the counter.
“Make enough for everyone, Fred. With all the digestive potions Lupin has been taking I believe he could eat something a little more solid.” Snape said.
Fred hummed cheerily, checking the roast he had pulled from the oven.
Snape saw that they were both ignoring him completely, Fred now chattering away to Teddy in an animated voice, even making the boy smile. He decided there would be no better time to disappear into the lab and get that potion bottled.
He descended the stairs to the basement, going straight for the proper ladle and collecting some glass vials on his way over to the now cool cauldron. He poured the potion into three vials, stoppering them and setting two on the shelf in their appropriate place. The third one he set aside.
It took a while to get his stations, cauldron and utensils sterilized and put away. When he was done ho took one vial back upstairs with him.
Seeing Teddy and Fred happily shaping some buns to go with supper, the boy covered in flour all over again, he quietly bypassed them and went back up to Lupin’s room, pushing the door the rest of the way open.
Remus clearly heard him coming, jarring awake and looking around with wide eyes. His gaze levelled on Severus, who had slowed his pace towards the bed to give the other man some time to orient himself.
Lupin relaxed slightly. “Hello, sir.”
“Here, Lupin; a dose of the potion your son and I brewed earlier. Two swallows for now.” He neared the bed and assisted Remus with the vial. The other man flinched at the flavor, which was more than likely very coppery with all the salamander blood that had been required. He then helped him drink a portion of the water that was sitting on the nightstand to wash the aftertaste away.
“Thank you, sir.”
“Your health is my concern now,” Severus told him. He realized it may have sounded rather condescending the moment after he had said it. How was it he had managed to keep his cover for all those years, balancing two of the most intuitive and powerful wizards of their time, yet standing before this one werewolf he continued to stick his foot as far down his mouth as he seemed to be able?
“I do mean for the potions, sir; but also for taking the time to teach my son something new. I’m afraid his life experiences have been somewhat - limited up to this point,” Remus said with a grimace.
“If I am to have an apprentice of any kind, Lupin; it will be a competent one. His continued education is to my benefit alone.” Snape wondered why it was so important to him that Remus believed that.
“Of course,” Remus replied cordially, but something in his eyes said he saw right through Severus. He blinked and the discerning look was gone. “So he did okay then?”
“I don’t lie to parents about the progress and aptitude of their children, Lupin,” Snape said regally. “He made connections easily, followed instruction well; kept things neat without me having to tell him. He asked questions and showed interest.” Snape set the half vial of potion on the far side of the nightstand.
“That is high praise coming from you, sir.” Remus couldn’t help but smile.
“I hope it doesn’t go to either of your heads,” Snape said wryly. “We will see how he fares in further attempts.”
“Will you instruct him in areas other than potions, sir?” Remus picked at the pills on his comforter again.
“Yes; to believe one could learn to brew properly while knowing absolutely nothing else is insanity. He will need to have a functional understanding of many other subjects. Herbology; the identification and cultivation of ingredients are essential. Charms; there are some rather specialized spells of this nature he will need to know in order to function in the lab. Defense; there is a wealth of information in that course that is directly transferrable to brewing certain grades of potions. There will also be areas of study you may not expect; for example, I believe a working knowledge of human anatomy and physiology is imperative to the comprehension of exactly how some of these elixirs function.”
“I see; that is most generous, sir.” Remus frowned slightly. “Do you really think Teddy is up for all of that right now? He held a pencil for the first time the other day; do you really think he can handle a lesson in Charms theory?”
Severus almost smiled. “He and I will work on the basics for quite some time, I imagine. There are many things he will need to know to move forward. We will start at the beginning and continue from there.”
“What if he doesn’t progress as quickly as you’d like, sir?” Remus asked, shifting nervously.
“He will progress at his own rate. Just from watching him so far I believe there will be little trouble for him in mastering the fundamentals; things like writing his letters, improving hand eye coordination and reasoning skills.”
Remus looked up at him. “You seem to have thought this through, sir.”
“Of course I’ve thought it through, Lupin. It’s no small undertaking; when it is time to begin his more advanced classes, why would I spend my time teaching him Charms and Transfiguration, even the majority of the Defense course, when I have a perfectly good instructor in my employ already?” Snape had been waiting patiently for the entire conversation for the right moment to pull out that line.
Remus was taken aback. “You would allow me to instruct my son?” He rubbed the collar around his neck idly. “Without my magic, I will be a poor professor; but I will do my best. It would be more than I would ever dream of asking for, sir.”
“We will see what the bond allows you, before we make many real plans. I am working on... select modifications to the spell and rituals that surround the actual bonding. The measures I have taken to delay these events have been so far effective. If we were to complete the bonding, with all of its requirements at this time, I believe the results would be unpredictable at best, dire at worst. My actions and intentions are imperative to the restrictions and freedoms the bond will enforce on you. I believe that Walden did not complete the spell properly, though in what way I am as yet unsure; I am reluctant to make those same mistakes out of haste.” Sweet Merlin of ramblings.
Remus seemed to take it all in. “This is the second time you have mentioned the steps you have taken to delay the need for the bonding ritual, sir. I know what the ritual entails as well as anyone, having gone through it before. What have you done to get this extra time needed until you deem it is right? I did not know that was possible, sir.” Remus said as respectfully as possible, not wanting to anger Snape. He hadn’t seen the man incensed enough to punish either him or his son and he intended to behave in a manner that continued to precipitate that lack of aggression, if at all possible.
Snape paused. “Since this situation affects you as much as me, I will tell you. I am taking a potion of my own creation that will prevent me, under any circumstances, from having an erection while it remains in my system. One dose lasts for seventy two hours; at that point, I will take another. My research on this bond says that as the dominant partner, my inability to fulfil my portion of the ritual is the only way to delay it without an adverse reaction to either of us. Our magic will still recognize me as your master; however this recognition will be muted until the bonding is complete.”
“You’re doing that just to get some extra time? I don’t know what to say, sir.”
“There is nothing to say. I fear that if the correct steps are not taken, the right symbolism not used, that we may well end up in the same situation as you and Macnair. This is not the outcome I wish to achieve; I need time to formulate a method that will allow for a more desirable result while staying within the restrictions of the original bond. So I will take my potion as long as it is safe to do so in order to get this extra time.” Severus didn’t mention that he suspected they would need to complete the bonding shortly after the full moon, ready or not; the Ministry wouldn’t grant them much more time than that, if they even gave them that long.
“I’m not sure I understand everything you are saying, sir, but I trust you to do what is best. What do you mean by safe? Are there dangers associated with the potion you’re taking?” Remus brow wrinkled.
“There hasn’t been any so far, however as it is largely untested, that remains to be seen. You won’t be rid of me just yet, Lupin,” Severus added wryly.
“That’s not what I meant, sir!” Remus said desperately.
Snape snorted. “Of course not; you were concerned for my health, wishing me to remain healthy and strong for years and years to come.”
Remus didn’t know what to say. Snape sounded like he was joking, but he’d made the same mistake with this man in the past; confusing angry sarcasm for amusement. Probably vice versa as well, come to think of it. He really didn’t want to piss Severus off and lay ruin to the hospitality he’d shown them so far. Remus knew that it could be gone in a second, but he was not so positive what would replace it. He stayed silent.
Severus shook his head. “No matter. After supper you will have another dose of potion and most likely sleep some more. I will check your burns again after Teddy is in bed; if they are healing at the pace they should be, I will charm them so you can have a bath. Cleaning charms work in a pinch, but they do nothing to replace a proper scrub.”
Remus colored, knowing that he probably smelled rather badly. “Thank you, sir. I don’t know the last time I had a real wash. It won’t aggravate my injuries?” he added meekly.
“Not with the correct spells in place; I will protect them thoroughly from moisture, heat and friction. Precautions will still be taken however, as they will more than likely still be quite tender. I’ll still keep an eye on the bandages to make sure everything holds the way it’s supposed to.”
Remus thought it over. “You, sir?”
“There is no way you will be in the physical condition to bathe yourself and while Fred has my full confidence, I do not know if he will be capable of the level of care needed to keep from injuring you further. Therefore I will have to assist you; if this is something you won’t be able to handle presently, we can continue to spell you clean for the time being.” Snape gave Lupin a way out, though he doubted the man was confident enough to take it.
“Whatever you think is best, sir; and I really would appreciate being clean,” Remus said quietly.
“You would say that. Fine, I will; this evening, if you are up to it.”
“Yes, sir. Thank you.”
Snape fought the urge to say, ‘don’t thank me yet’ for what felt like the hundredth time since the Lupins had first entered his home. Instead he said, “I’m going to see if they need help with anything downstairs; supper should be done soon. Rest.” He pivoted and left without another word spoken between them. Surely that man would drive him to insanity.

Severus found Fred and Teddy just taking the cooled buns off of the baking pan. The roast was out of the oven, steamed vegetables from their own garden and a large bowl of mashed potatoes with a side of gravy seemed to compose their meal. Lupin should be able to eat most of it, if his meat were a small portion already cut into bits.
“Having fun?” he asked them, as neither of them seemed aware that he had entered the room.
Teddy looked over with startled eyes, ducking down a little smaller than he was.
“Yes we is having fun.” Fred answered firmly for them both. “You is serving father wolf what you think it is best for him to be eating. The young one and I will be making up the other plates.”
Teddy looked between the both of them in confusion. If Fred was his master’s elf, why was he always telling him what to do?
Snape did as the elf suggested, taking a small portion of the mashed potatoes, vegetables as well as some of the meat and one roll. The meat he cut very finely, almost to the point of shredding it. Then he covered that and the potatoes with gravy; going so far as to break the roll in half and put a pat of butter on each side.
He looked up; Fred had both his and Teddy’s plate in hand. It seemed they would all be dining upstairs. “I can take a hint,” Severus said, taking Remus’ plate and leading the way back upstairs.
Once they were in the room, Fred set Teddy up to eat in the chair with the small table in front of it. He was happily digging away into his meal while Snape cast a preserving charm over his own dish, which Fred had placed on the nightstand. Severus sat back down in the chair closest to the bedside, Remus’ plate in his hands.
“That smells amazing, sir.” Remus said.
“Fred knows his way around a pot roast,” Severus agreed.
Snape helped the other man eat as much of his meal as it seemed he could handle. There was very little spilled overall and Lupin lay back with a tired sigh, signaling that he couldn’t eat another bite. Most of the plate was cleared; he had eaten a healthy portion.
“Here, have another three swallows now that your stomach is full.” Snape set the plate aside and assisted Remus in drinking the right amount of his potion. His eyes were already heavy when Snape looked up from setting the vial back down.
“Thank you, master,” Remus said so drowsily that Severus didn’t correct him.
Snape pulled his chair away from the bed to beside where Teddy was seated. He then tucked into his own meal, eating everything that was on his plate. The boy was done, sitting quietly in the chair, looking pensively at his father.
“Is he going to be okay, sir?” he asked in a small voice.
“Yes Teddy, he is. We will make sure of it. You all done there?”
The boy nodded.
“Let’s take our dishes to the kitchen. Fred will wash up later.”
“Okay, sir.” Teddy rose, collecting his own plate and cutlery, following Severus, who was holding both his and Remus’ plates, back into the kitchen. They set their dishes in the sink, Severus rinsing them off and stacking them neatly.
It was near seven thirty; the child probably wasn’t ready for bed yet. Lupin was resting and Fred was off doing Merlin knew what.
“Have you ever made a paper airplane?” Severus asked Teddy suddenly.
Teddy made a confused face. “No, sir, I don’t believe I have.”
“That’s alright; children from wizarding backgrounds are often unfamiliar with such things; there is no magic in them.”
“What is an ‘airplane’, sir?” Teddy asked with some interest.
“An airplane is a Muggle machine that allows them to fly.”
“Without magic?” Teddy questioned.
“Without magic. The kinds we are going to make are very small; we are going to fold them out of parchment. The real machine is large enough to hold many people at once. One day when we are outside in the garden, I’m sure you will see a real one go overhead.”
“We’re going outside, sir?” Teddy sounded quite hopeful.
“Perhaps tomorrow, if the weather permits. It is starting to get dark now. Come with me into the den.”
Snape led the boy through the dining room, which he had yet to see, and into a room that seemed to be a hybrid between a living room and an office. There was a small couch and two chairs beside a great fireplace, but also a desk. The room was more than half covered in bookshelves brimming with texts and scrolls. Teddy looked around in wonder, appearing unsure where to stand.
Snape moved one of the chairs from its place by the fireplace to rest closer to the desk. He sat in the other chair, indicating for Teddy to sit in the one he had just moved. From a drawer he pulled a stack of parchment and a couple of pairs of scissors.
“I’ll make one first, so you can see what a finished one should look like. There are many different styles a person can fold; we are going to start with something very basic for today. If you like this, we can try out some different types once we have mastered this one.” Severus said.
Teddy nodded, leaning closer to watch what his master was going to show him.
Snape cut a few pieces of the paper into rectangles. He placed one in front of himself on the desktop, folding it in half once lengthwise and pressing the crease firmly between his thumb and the desk. He opened the fold, pressing the paper flat again. He then took the top corners on each side of the fold and bent them into down so they made a triangle. Then creasing each side again between his thumb and forefinger, he folded them a second time, making the shape thinner on each side. He then bent the paper on his original crease, flattening each side down a little to make wings.
He held out the plane for Teddy to examine, before bringing his arm back and throwing it lightly across the room. The plane glided for some time before crashing into the back of the couch and falling to the floor.
Teddy looked rather surprised. “I thought you said there was no magic, sir!”
“None at all. The paper is so light and the shape just right for it to glide across the air. Go get it and try tossing it, you’ll see.”
Teddy immediately hopped off the chair and retrieved the fallen plane. He mimicked Snape’s earlier motions, trying to recreate the flight. He released too late and the plane crashed into the ground, nose slightly crumpled.
The boy looked instantly distressed. “Sorry, sir!”
“Don’t be; half the fun is making them crash into things. Bring it here.”
Teddy came close with the damaged plane, timidly getting near enough to hand it to Snape, who took it with slow movements.
Severus pinched the plane, straightening it out in between his fingers. “See how easy they are to fix? Try throwing it again, only release it earlier. It helps it to go further if it travels in an ark.” He demonstrated the shape the flight should take with his hand.
Teddy tried a second time, letting it go a little sooner than he had on his first attempt. The plane flew across the room, landing politely on the ground and sliding into a leg of the coffee table.
“I did it!” Teddy exclaimed.
“Yes you did,” Snape agreed, one corner of his mouth upturned. “Would you like to try and make one for yourself?”
Teddy nodded, coming closer and sitting by the desk again.
It took a few tries and a couple of botched attempts, but within about twenty minutes, Severus had walked him through the correct steps. Teddy had made his first plane on his own and was very thrilled about that fact, all but vibrating with excitement as he threw it for the first time.
For about an hour after that they made, threw and crashed their paper flying machines. Teddy had the idea of racing, to seeing who could go the farthest or else have the most spectacular crash. It was after nine o’clock when Snape suggested they put their planes away for the night and get ready for bed. He tucked one of Teddy’s folded planes into his robe pocket without really thinking about it.
Upstairs, he showed Teddy where his pajamas were kept in the armoire and allowed the boy space to get changed. When he came out of his room, Snape showed him into the bathroom, where he helped him brush his teeth and wash his face. He left him alone to do his business, waiting back in the child’s bedroom.
The boy tiptoed in, looking around nervously. Snape pulled the covers back and he walked only a couple of steps closer.
“What’s the matter?” Severus asked, trying not to sound irritated.
“May I say goodnight to my father, sir?”
“He is probably sleeping.”
The boy’s face fell.
Snape continued, “But I doubt he would mind being woken for just a moment.”
Snape went back into the hall and pushed the door to Remus’ room open. He felt, more than saw, Teddy rush past him into the room and over to the bedside.
“Hi, daddy,” Teddy said quietly.
Remus blinked rapidly, trying to orient himself. “Hey there, Teddy. What are you getting up to?” He looked past his son and latched onto Snape, where he was standing just outside the doorway.
“It’s bedtime,” the boy said unenthusiastically. “I wanted to say goodnight.”
“Well, goodnight Teddy. Sweet dreams and I love you.”
“I love you too, daddy.” Teddy gave him an awkward hug, trying to avoid his bandages.
“Will I see you tomorrow?”
Remus swallowed loudly. “I honestly don’t know; I hope so.”
“Me too.”
“Now go along, and remember, behave.”
Teddy nodded and walked out into the hall. Snape pulled the door closed again, seeing Remus watching him as he did so.
“You’re ready to go to bed now?” Snape asked.
“Yes, sir.” Teddy went back into his bedroom and slid onto the mattress, sticking his feet under the covers.
Snape helped him pull the sheet and quilts up to his chin. He took a step back and dimmed the lights. There was a small sealer jar that he had placed on the nightstand days before he had gone to retrieve the Lupins. He picked it up and holding it against the palms of both of his hands he whispered a charm his mother had used when he was very small. A ball of light appeared in the center of the jar, only faint light glow but still exuding a warm golden light. He placed it back down on the table; it dimmed as soon as he set it down.
“If you are afraid in the night or need to go to the bathroom, pick up this jar and think of a bright light; think of a sunny afternoon. The light will grow stronger until it is where you require it to be. There is no need to lie in the dark and be afraid or to stumble around in an unfamiliar house.” Doing this was not so peculiar; he had done the same for generations of unsure first year Slytherins. Many childhood fears disappeared in the light, but then again, some did not.
Teddy nodded, “Thank you, sir.” His eyes still darted around the room, small hands fisted in the blankets.
Snape considered just walking out; he had already done more than almost anyone had ever done for him when he was young and far more than many people in his circumstances would. Something stopped him, however. Instead of leaving, he pulled the chair out from its place at the desk and moved it closer to the bed. He then went to the bookshelf and selected a worn hardcover from among the shelves. He sat down in the chair and opened the book to its first page.
“Sir?” Teddy didn’t verbalize the question, ‘what are you doing?’ but Snape heard it clearly enough all the same.
“Have you ever been read a bedtime story?” Snape asked. He had never been read one himself, so the notion of it being something unfamiliar wasn’t out of the question.
“I don’t believe so, sir.”
“Well here you have it then,” Severus said lightly.
“In a hole in the ground there lived a hobbit. Not a nasty, dirty, wet hole, filled with the ends of worms and an oozy smell, nor yet a dry, sandy hole with nothing in it to sit down on or to eat: it was a hobbit-hole, and that means comfort,” Snape began. He was surprised to find that Teddy stayed awake for the whole first chapter, though his eyes were undoubtedly heavy in the last few pages. He seemed to be sleeping by the time Snape had marked their place in the book and returned it to its home on the shelf.
He left the door open all of the way. There would be no ruckus coming from him tonight, and he didn’t want to give the child the impression he was to stay in the room until he was sent for. He quickly turned and placed a charm on the room so he would be alerted if Teddy rose or was distressed.
Down in the kitchen, he decided to have a quick spot of tea before helping Lupin with his bath; something he was sure they were both equally dreading. He sat at the table and flipped through the morning paper that had been folded, unread, on the kitchen table all day.
He debated having a drink, deciding to save that for the last portion of the night, which he would reserve solely for himself, his attempted translations and what was left of his scotch. He settled on half a dose of a light calming potion; it would do no good for Lupin’s recovery if he lost his temper every few minutes. The remainder of the potion he corked and dropped into his pocket; the wolf may appreciate some of it as well.
Upstairs again, he ran a bath of hot water. By the time Lupin was into it, the temperature should be at an adequate level. Into the water he put five drops of a potion that would help with muscle strength and mobility, keeping his tissues limber even in their current state of disuse. Also, he poured the rest of the calming potion in as well; this experience should be made as painless as possible.
It would be the first step to everything that was yet to come. He hoped it would show Lupin that his intentions were not to harm or humiliate him; he had done enough of that for ten tyrants’ lifetimes. No one, including a younger more stupid version of himself would ever believe him capable of this: having so much control over a once hated enemy and not taking the opportunity to exert that power.
He wondered briefly how he would have fared had this been Potter and his spawn but quickly dismissed the thought. That was not the case, Merlin be praised.
Severus knew he would exert his own humanity; a muscle he had left to waste for most of his miserable life. He would do it if even if it killed him.

Taking a deep breath for composure Severus strode with purpose through Lupin’s doorway; his bravado was wasted as the man was predictably asleep. Lupin woke slowly as he strode into the room. Severus took some supplies out of the cupboard under the nightstand and set them out on top of it.
“Hello, sir. Is Teddy sleeping?” Lupin asked timidly.
“Yes; in the room next to this one. We can check in on him later if you feel the need.” Snape didn’t look up from what he was doing. He was beginning to unravel a swath of bandages while mumbling under his breath, wand in hand, running the cloth over its glowing length inch by inch.
Remus quieted, watching him work.
When Severus was done, he measured a portion of two potions into a small glass, swirling the mixture three times clockwise and handing it to Remus. “Drink this,” he instructed.
Remus accepted it, making a face as he knocked back the potions without a question.
“How is the pain; can you sit up?” Snape asked clinically.
“A little, but not for long; it’s exhausting.” Remus tried to be honest, feeling damned either way. Which would Severus scorn more; his shameful weakness or being lied to about it?
“Alright then, don’t try.”
Remus let out an exhale at this soft reply.
With a flick of his wrist, Snape made him weightless, helping him to sit and pulling the blankets down so they draped were over his hips. He rolled up his sleeves and spelled his hands clean. With precise movements he unwrapped the bandages covering Remus’ burns, exposing the scarring flesh beneath.
Once his torso was clear and the used wrappings were banished, Snape began to replace them with the newly charmed ones; Remus could feel the magic in them enfolding him with every layer that was laid across his skin. Severus covered every piece of damaged tissue with the charmed bandages, including Remus’ feet which he double layered.
“These will protect your blisters from the water as I described earlier. The twin potions you just drank will keep the pain in check as well as help to keep you calm.” He lowered Remus back to the bed.
“Calm, sir?” Remus asked uneasily.
“You have made it clear that you are… uncomfortable with touch. That will be unavoidable if we are to go through with this. Part of the reason for this venture will be to relax your healing muscles, to prevent them from over tightening while you are not well enough to stretch and move them for yourself. Recovery from such things can be unnecessarily agonizing and drawn out; we will be avoiding it at all costs.”
“Of course, sir. Thank you for your forethought.”
Remus still looked uncomfortable; that was inescapable, Snape supposed. It didn’t stop him from rolling his eyes. “We will wait a few moments for your pain potion to take effect before we begin.”
Remus nodded his agreement and sat quietly for a moment before asking, “Teddy was well behaved this evening, sir?”
A unique way to inquire about the welfare of one’s child, without really doing so. “We had an interesting evening,” Snape alluded.
Remus looked at him, silently still.
“Merlin,” Severus said under his breath. “We folded paper planes,” he explained.
“Paper planes,” Remus deadpanned.
Snape pulled the paper projectile from his pocket, suddenly glad to have put it there. He handed it to Remus; who took it, turning the thing slowly in his good hand to see all sides.
“Teddy made this?” his voice sounded lighter.
Snape nodded wryly. “One of the few to survive; most had rather tragic endings. The boy seems to find crashing as much fun as flying, though it shouldn’t come as a surprise.”
Remus looked at him and a strong emotion crossed his face briefly, almost not even there. He redirected his gaze to the folded paper, now lying on his lap. He then moved to set it on the nightstand, hand shaking and body almost unable to turn the required distance, but just making it. He lay back, breathing harder than he should have been after such a small exertion.
“Keep it there; I’m sure he will tell you all about it tomorrow,” Severus said.
“Of course, sir,” Remus agreed in a neutral tone; maybe the calming potion was beginning to set in.
“I believe enough time has passed; are you ready to do this?” Severus thought it would be prudent to give Lupin yet another chance to refuse this venture.
“Yes, sir.” Remus’ face was blank, his mouth a tight line across it. His eyes weren’t meeting Severus’ though he was addressing him; he was looking instead at a place somewhere around the region of Snape’s shoulder.
Severus was glad for his own dose of the calming potion, feeling his anger mutely at Remus’ behavior. “Alright then.” He cast a levitating charm on the other man and he floated off the bed, sheet coming with him, leaving his body covered. Snape guided him wordlessly from the room and across the hall, closing the bathroom door behind the both of them.
The air in the room was humid; steam had coated the mirror in condensation. Keeping his eyes averted, Snape removed the bed sheet from across Lupin’s form. He supported the man by his shoulders, manipulating the spell so that his legs were lowered into the water first. He kept the descent slow, directing Remus so he was seated completely before fully releasing the charm and withdrawing. He cast another charm that would keep Lupin’s mouth and nose out of the water.
Remus sighed in absolute contentment, lying back in the water. The heat was wrapping around his sore body, he felt his muscles loosen almost instantly. He was briefly amazed that his wounds were not in any unusual pain, it was probably the combination of the bandages and potions; but he wasn’t about to question it. He tried to remember the last thing that had happened to him that could compare to the feeling of the hot water enfolding him.
He realized his face was staying above the water with no effort of his own; Snape must have cast a spell to keep him from accidently drowning himself when he wasn’t being held up. This was a good thing because Remus couldn’t imagine being able to do it himself, he was nearly falling asleep he was so relaxed. His eyes were closed and his breathing was even. He wasn’t sure how long he floated there, soaking, before he felt a hand lightly brushing the hair away from his face and then departing so quickly he may have imagined it.
Lupin groggily opened his eyes to see Snape kneeling beside the bath, outer robes removed and his shirtsleeves rolled neatly up past his elbows. His hair was tied back at the nape of his neck and he wore what seemed to Lupin to be an unreadable expression. Remus recalled just exactly what was going on here and felt his heart speed up in response. The calming potion must really be doing the trick; he felt the fear and anticipation, but distantly, almost as if it belonged to someone else.
He was helped to sit up again carefully, back resting against the tub. Snape’s hands retreated and returned coated in a strong smelling potion. He began to gather the wet mess of Remus’ hair together, his fingers massaging tresses and scalp until a thick lather formed.
Remus wasn’t sure what he was expected to do, so he just lay back and waited for instruction. He couldn’t help but enjoy the feeling Severus’ hands running over and across his scalp. It had been an eternity since someone had done anything for him. He knew this wasn’t required; he could simply have been spelled clean. If his hair was too bad for that it could easily have been shaved off. Despite everything he had said, Remus speculated on Snape’s true motivation for doing this and then decided to ponder it later. He closed his eyes and sighed.
Snape was very thorough, finding the matted sections and working them between his thumb and index finger until the knots came loose. He pulled the suds away from Lupin’s face to prevent them from running into his eyes, even though they were still closed. He wondered if Remus saw the irony in him, Severus Snape, greasiest bastard to ever walk the earth, washing his hair for him.
When he was satisfied Severus said, “I’m going to help you lie back again, try and remain relaxed.” Severus helped Remus to recline until his hair was underwater. He carded his hands carefully through the residual tangles, rinsing the soap out as best he could while supporting Lupin’s head so he could breathe. It was easier to brace him than to keep the wandless spell in place for so long.
He helped Remus sit up and repeated the process; he was cleaner than he had been but the second wash was still needed. Remus kept his breathing even, not seeming as anxious this time around.
Snape had been near silent the entire way through, Lupin was surprised that the man was missing so excellent a chance to gloat. Still, he couldn’t help but revel in the feeling of a touch that seemed to intend no pain, even if it were to only last a moment. Severus cradled the base of his head in one hand while his other ran freely though Remus’ hair in firm even stokes against his scalp.
When the process was completed a second time, Severus dried his hands and forearms on a nearby towel. He pivoted in place, retrieving a different bottle from under the sink. It was a very fortunate thing that he had thought to prepare for a variety of possibilities in the weeks before he was able to retrieve the Lupins. There was no shortage of lycanthrope friendly potions in his stocks and what wasn’t prepared already was a mere cauldron away.
He selected a cloth from the short stack of folded towels that were folded under the sink and poured a generous amount of the potion onto it. Turning back to the tub Severus saw that Lupin’s eyes were still closed, he wasn’t sure if it was because he was relaxed or just couldn’t stand to make eye contact while he was being bathed. Snape found he couldn’t really blame him either way. He knew that he himself would not have been nearly so pliable in similar circumstances. He was also no stranger to drawn out recoveries.
Severus had suffered many injuries over the course of two wars. After the return of Voldemort, he had been granted no mercy for his lack of faith, for not returning immediately when he called for. Of anything he had ever endured that had been the worst… the worst? One of the worst? Who could decide these things? He found himself unable to. It had seemed like the worst, at the time.
Riddle had thrown him and a handful of other penitents to the tender care of those he had deemed to be faithful, or who had already endured their own portion of punishment. There were eight men and Bella granted power over four of them. Their wands had been taken; a symbol of how powerless they really were. They had been given by their Lord as a boon to their peers of the inner circle. His hands still shook when he thought too closely about it.
He had been gone from Hogwarts eight days before it was over. Someone had been thoughtful enough to deliver him to his usual apparition spot in the forest, but no closer. Hagrid had found him just after sunrise the morning after they’d dropped him there, bringing Albus and Poppy to him immediately, being afraid to move him without doing further damage.
There had been a potion, one of many that had been poured down his throat while he was being taught his lesson, which kept him conscious. Severus had been awake the entire time he had been away from the school and once even once he was back, because of it. Poppy had an impossible time counteracting it so he could be treated properly; his healing process would require her to do things to him that would be unconscionable had he remained aware of them.
Although he had been awake, many things remained a blur when he looked back in memory; only the unending pain his body was in remained perfectly clear. As well as the fact that this was a gentle slap on the wrist compared to what he would be in for if (once) Voldemort found out he had defected to the Headmaster.
His recovery had taken over two weeks; that was by his standards. He forced his way out of the hospital wing in fifteen days, was what Pomfrey would have said, rather than the word ‘recovery’. Severus couldn’t stand to have her, or anyone really, see him in such a state. It was another three weeks before he was allowed to return to teaching his classes. ‘Taking a Sabbatical’ was what Albus had told the students. Certain Slytherins knew better however, but they could be trusted to keep their mouths shut; nearly everything in their lives depended on it.
His back, buttocks and thighs had been turned to ground meat by various curses and whippings. Someone had broken the fingers and most of the long bones in his hands, paying special attention to his left, the appendage attached to the Dark Mark; presumably with a hammer or some sort of blunt instrument.
Even during his recovery, his body seized and shook uncontrollably, probably thanks to Bellatrix and her lack of creativity; how long could one stay entertained, casting only one curse time and time again? Even years after her death Severus still sneered at her lack of technique.
There was also something along the line of numerous rapes, a broken ankle and six cracked ribs summed up the worst of his injuries.
Half of his recuperation Severus had spent juiced on potions alone in his quarters, trying not to so much as blink. Doing anything was an absolute nightmare; just with the tremors and broken hands alone. He learned quickly to do absolutely everything with magic; thanking Merlin the whole way that he was a natural with the wandless variety. He would never have survived otherwise, even for the first while he was allowed to teach again. It was months before he was back to being his old self again; not that that was something worth aspiring to.
The last war had nearly killed him; he spent some nights still wishing that it had. Yes, he had survived; it was more than his wildest hopes at the time; but what met him on the other side was nearly as unpleasant as the alternative. The trials, the interrogations spent so doped up he couldn’t have thought up a single lie to tell the Ministry Inquisitors if he had wanted to. The papers exposing every sordid detail of his life (and many extras) to the entirety of the general public. He was scorned and shunned; or worse, pitied by people who had no real idea what he’d survived wherever he went, from supporters of either side.
None of it compared to waking up every morning and remembering that the war was over and they’d won; but he had killed Albus. He would have traded an eternity at the hands of Riddle and his lackeys for the continuing knowledge that the Headmaster was alive. He would hand the world to Tom on a silver platter to take back that night, that mere second where he had given in to the old fool.
It had almost been for nothing, the Order wouldn’t trust his information or any source he tried delivering it from. Not that he had much information at all for the few months after Albus’ death. Since he was the most knowledgeable member of this inner circle on the matter of werewolves, Riddle had him ‘helping’ Greyback attempt to raise his army of werewolf cubs.
Six months he spent in some pit of a basement, trying to keep nine werewolf cubs in order and alive long enough to destroy what was left of their humanity. He was to develop a potion to keep them in their transformed states for an extended period. They would see him and Greyback as their pack leaders and kill on command without thought or remorse.
That had been the idea, anyway. They expected him to just pull this potion out of his arse or something; an undertaking like that could take someone a lifetime of work.
Some of the children never survived their initial bite, the only part of the proceedings he didn’t have to participate in. Of the sixteen that were successfully turned, only nine survived their first transformation.
Severus was there for it all, analyzing and categorizing every move they made, every word they said (while they were still speaking). They spent most of their time being instructed by Greyback; he was an excellent re-programmer. Other than that he made sure they ate all their meals and got some sleep through the night. During the hours where potions were brewing and Greyback was away, he spent his minimal free time with them, trying to keep them in their own minds as much as possible without arising suspicion.
It was much more of an undertaking that he had been led to believe, even without his ulterior motives. This was more than animals in a cage; most of the time he spent with them, they were just children; frightened angry children with no idea what had happened to them or what was going to be done to them.
He healed them when they were ill, mended their scrapes and bruises. He helped them get ready for bed; soothed them when they woke in terror. All the while, taking samples, running trials and documenting everything, including their transformations, which he had needed to be present for, Riddle’s order.
Balancing his personal need to give them only potions he’d calculated wouldn’t kill them and Voldemort’s demand for a successful trial was nearly impossible. He’d lived days at a time without sleep, eating on the run; trying to keep it all together. He’d had to run dozens of calculations for every ingredient that was added to the mix, a single mistake on his part would cost one of these children their life. Still, it had remained mostly guesswork. He’d worked around the clock for days hoping to stumble across something that would even look like progress. He needed to continue to prove himself if he was to stay in the loop and glean anything of importance to try and pirate to the Order.
He had been able to smuggle four of the children out over the course of that six months; pretending they had died from a bad batch of experimental potion. He had one or two contacts on the outside that could still be trusted. Circe only knew what had happened to them in the end, but he knew they would have more of a chance the further away from that basement he could get them.
He watched the rest of them slowly deteriorate.
In the end, he had not been able to produce the potion that would render them useful to the Dark Lord, try as he might. He spent the night under Voldemort’s wand as recompense for his failure; Greyback went to the basement and killed the lot of them.
Severus had been sent in the next day to dispose of their bodies and clean the space they had all inhabited for half a year.
He dug the holes first; in the same field as he had buried all the rest of them. It was a short Apperation away from where they had been kept; though the building was not in sight, lying over the top of a hill of long grass.
Here they would be under the sky, the world would continue to move on and thrive around them. A small cluster of trees was growing a short distance away; Severus had stopped to listen to the wind rustle their branches. If he hadn’t known about the sixteen bodies rooted under the wildflowers around him, he would have thought this the most peaceful place in the world.
He spent the first night out there with them, not having the motivation to go back and begin his task of bringing that shithole back to standard. He’d lain on the soft clover looked at the stars, trying to discern what he could have done differently. He would spend one more night looking out for them, though a fat lot of good it had done for any of them. The night was sleepless and when the sun rose it brought with it a hollow, emotionless state.
It took him two more days to make that little hovel look presentable again.
He remembered going out to the field every night and watching the sun set; his feet would take him there almost before he knew it himself.
Snape had spent weeks waking in a cold sweat, looking over to where he thought they would be sleeping; only to find his desk in their place. He had drunk endless bottles of Scotch; remembering that they were gone and he had done nothing to save them. Even now, years after the fact he still felt a pang of remembrance; thinking of their smiling faces the day he had smuggled in a package of balloons. Or at night, when he would stay with them, coaxing the stories of their lives from them; making them relive times before all of this horror. He had hoped it would keep some of their humanity close despite hours of Greyback’s re-education.
Severus shook his head, finding himself still kneeling on the bathroom floor beside the bathtub, holding a dripping cloth in his hand. Remus was still lying back serenely; seemingly unaware of how far away he had been right there.
He would never have to do anything like that again; he had his whole life to make up for whatever small percentage of his soul was still intact. It was something he had to at least pretend to believe in, the possibility of redemption; he tried to remind himself of it daily.
Turning back to the task at hand, he dipped the cloth back into the water and began to carefully work the layers of grime from whatever parts of skin were left exposed by Remus’ bandages. The healing flesh underneath would be sterile, thanks to his precautions. Still, he dabbed lightly around their edges.
He started on the arm closest to him, working his way from the linen around Lupin’s wrist up to the curve of his bandaged shoulder.
Remus started away from his hand, he let him go, waiting for the other man to settle before trying again. Severus paused for a moment, setting the cloth on the edge of the tub.
“Lupin,” he said, trying to get the man’s attention.
Remus jumped slightly, opening his eyes wide and looking at that place on Severus’ shoulder again.
“I’m going to take off this collar so that I can clean underneath it,” Snape said.
Remus put a dripping hand up to his neck wordlessly.
“When was the last time it was removed?” Severus asked, reaching for his wand.
“It hasn’t been, since he put it on me.” Remus replied quietly.
Snape touched his wand to the metallic band and said, “te solvo.”
The band shimmered and unhinged from an unseen crack in the metal. Snape took it the rest of the way off, unhinging the thing slowly and tossing it onto the bathroom floor without a second look.
Remus gasped as he felt his magic for the first time in years. It was such a relief to know it was still there, even if he couldn’t use it. It vibrated through every part of him; he felt hope flare up in his soul in a way he thought was no longer possible. Tears sprang to his eyes.
Snape frowned. The skin underneath they band was raw and had healed over many times. Yet another scar to add to Lupin’s growing list; in its current state the scarring could only be healed so much. With all the gentleness he possessed, Severus swabbed at the grime around the irritated skin until it was visibly clean.
Setting the cloth aside again he pressed on the edges of the redness in exploration. “It seems to be alright at the present, aside from a couple of blisters. Is it quite painful?” Snape noted the tears tracking their way unchecked down the other man’s face. It would be a miracle if he could feel the injuries on his neck and not the rest of his body.
“No, I don’t even notice it, sir. It’s my magic; I – I feel it. It’s still there.” Remus sounded amazed. “Thank you, sir, just to know…” he trailed off.
Snape supposed he could understand. Living your life with something so vital just out of reach would be horrible. He found himself at a loss for words. Taking a deep breath he picked up the cloth again and moved to scrub the edges of the bandages on Lupin’s feet, wiping a wide swath around them as he had on the others.
He worked his way methodically up Remus’ calves. Severus paid careful attention to Lupin’s movements, watching for any sort of distress. Remus gave no discernable sign, so he continued, levitating the man just off the bottom of the tub so he could reach his thighs and buttocks.
Remus suddenly made another jerk away from him, startled by the new direction this was taking.
“It’s just me, Remus,” Severus reminded the other man in a quiet voice; although why he thought Lupin would find that comforting in any way was a mystery even to him.
“Right; sorry, sir.”
“Remember, you’re supposed to be relaxed. We can stop at any time if this becomes too much for you.”
Remus swallowed, looking away. “Thank you, master.” The lycanthrope forced himself to take a deep breath.
Severus continued, running the coarse cloth across Remus’ thighs in smooth circular motions. He forced himself to keep his own breathing even, surprising himself with the arousal burgeoning in his mind. His body, of course, would not respond to any kind of stimulus with that potion in his system; he was suddenly thankful for that.
Even though the other man definitely wasn’t at the top of his game, Severus could still see the person he had known years ago. It wouldn’t take much but the right potions and proper nutrition for him to fill out again; as it was Snape could just about count his ribs, if they weren’t swathed in bandages.
He ran the cloth briefly across Remus’ most sensitive area, finding the other man already hard. Against his stronger desire, Snape continued onward. He noted that Remus’ eyes were still closed, but his face was turned away all the same, face burning in… shame? Maybe not, since his hips momentarily seemed to follow the friction of the cloth as it continued up his body.
Snape brought the cloth gently across Lupin’s abdomen; distinctly hearing a sharp inhale of breath. “There is no need to be embarrassed, Remus,” he said calmly, washcloth still moving across Lupin’s stomach.
“I know sir,” Remus’ eyes were clenched shut, his face turned away from Snape. “It’s just difficult to relax with you – touching me like that.” There was restraint in the other man’s voice.
“Why is that, Remus?” Severus asked in a low voice.
Remus practically groaned when Snape said his name, that devilish washcloth working its way down his left hip. He struggled to recall when his name had last been said like that and failed. He tried to stop himself but his hips pressed upwards of their own accord. What was he doing? Snape would think he was interested and then-
“Remus?”
“Because, sir.” Lupin fought the urge to moan as Severus pulled the cloth across his inner thigh. “It feels-” he struggled for a word to complete his thought.
Severus waited a moment before suggesting, “Good?” His hand moved the washcloth so that it was back on Remus’ cock, the wet heat of its friction scrubbing delightfully across its smooth length.
“Yes,” Remus panted, hating himself for the admission.
“Perhaps it would help you to relax if I did this,” Snape said softly. He curled his hand loosely around Remus’ member, moving slowly up it to put gentle pressure on the swollen head.
Remus strained up against his hand. “Yes-” he breathed, than sharply, “No, please sir, you don’t have to…”
“No; I don’t have to,” Severus agreed, moving his hand back down so that the palm of it pressed against Remus balls. He kept his grip firm, sliding back up and then down his wrist twisting slightly with the motion.
Lupin gasped as his hips bucked up slightly. Water sloshed about in the tub as he shifted.
Snape’s breathing was becoming erratic, though his body showed no signs of his arousal. He continued to stroke Remus, sliding the soapy cloth across him at a leisurely pace.
Lupin cut in frantically, “Master, stop, I’m going to-” He ground his teeth together, trying to fight off his release.
Snape kept on silently, watching Remus’ facial expression progress to the surprised wonder of orgasm while his prick pulsed and pulsed into the washcloth in his hand.
Lupin reached out, gripping Severus’ forearm for support, his whole body shaking with the force of it; he lay in the water, breathless.
Snape ran the cloth across his softening member a few times more, Lupin’s hips lurching in response.
Severus then discarded the used cloth, wetting a new one under the tap. He applied more of the potion to the new cloth and returned his attention to Remus’ neck, which had not been properly tended to after that collar had been removed. He rinsed the new cloth under a stream of fresh water from the tap, dabbing the cool water at the chaffed skin.
He placed a bent finger on Remus’ chin, moving his head so he could access the other side of the man’s neck. Remus suddenly opened his eyes, looking right at him.
“I’m so sorry sir!” Remus burst out desperately, as if he had been holding it back for some time.
“Don’t be sorry; just let me see this side of your neck.”
Remus continued as if he hadn’t even heard him speak, “I couldn’t help it, sir. It’s been so long since someone has touched me like that...”
“Remus,” Severus stopped him. “I was conscious of what I was doing; your reaction doesn’t make me angry.” Snape didn’t dare pause to think what it did make him feel.
Remus went on, looking up at him, “I should have held on, sir. There was no excuse for me…”
“Lupin,” Severus said sharply. “You did nothing wrong.” That was the truth, plain as the nose on his face.
“Thank you, master.” Remus’ relief was clear. “It’s been so long since I was allowed-” Remus shut his mouth, looking away again.
Severus couldn’t help wondering just what had gone on between Macnair and this man, though he didn’t have to imagine too long to come up with a myriad of uncomfortable realities.
Severus unfolded a loose pair of pajama bottoms and an undershirt with no sleeves and set them out. He hadn’t known what else to put Lupin into, hopefully it would do the trick.
He pulled the plug and the water began to drain with a low gurgle. He levitated Remus out of the tub and cast a drying spell on him, maneuvering the man so he could be slipped into the pair or trousers and again so he could put the shirt on him; which was more difficult because of the limited mobility of his arms. Severus was careful to keep the fabric from pressing against the injured areas, making sure everything was loose enough before calling it good.
Leading a floating Lupin back into his own room, they both noted that Fred had changed the bed linens and pillowcases. Snape turned them down and laid him into the clean bed.
“Sir?” Remus asked meekly.
Snape looked at him, waiting for him to continue; he was getting tired of giving everyone permission to begin a conversation.
Remus cleared his throat. “Are you going to put the collar back on me now?”
Snape answered without thinking. “No; I see no reason for that damnable thing. Your enslavement bond will already prohibit you from doing me any purposeful harm. Your magic will be regulated by the bond; until it is complete I have good reason to believe you will not be able to cast any spells intentionally.”
Remus sighed in relief. “That means more to me than I could say, sir. Just knowing it’s there makes me feel like a person again.”
“That was probably why Macnair took it from you in the first place.” And why he was giving it back.
“I imagine so, sir.”
Snape picked up a vial from the nightstand. “Three more swallows of this,” he instructed, holding it out for Remus to drink from.
“I seem to be going through quite a few potions, sir.” Remus sounded apologetic.
Snape wasn’t sure what he was getting at. “Well, it’s a good thing you have one of the foremost experts on werewolf physiology planning your potions regimen then. I won’t allow anything you take to react negatively with your body chemistry or with any other potion you’ve been taking.”
Remus colored. “I didn’t mean to imply that, sir. Only, lycanthrope friendly brewing is expensive and in my present condition I don’t see that I’m fit to repay you in any way.”
Snape wondered briefly just what kind of repayment Remus had in mind. “Lupin, when I said your health was my concern, I wasn’t just stringing random words together to hear how they sounded. If you want to look at it things in their simplest terms, than look at it like this: you and your son belong to me; I take care good of my things. You are never to repay me for this or anything.”
“That is an interesting way to view your mastery of us, sir,” Remus said. It was not at all how he expected the man he thought he knew to behave. Maybe this was all an elaborate hoax to build them up, repair them only to break them down all over again. He was too tired to think more on the matter tonight, his eyes already drifting closed despite his best efforts.
Snape didn’t reply, only unscrewed the lid on the healing salve and applied it to the recently revealed blisters on Remus’ neck. “These should be gone by tomorrow. The tenderness may still be there, so use caution when moving your neck.” He cast the evacuation charm on Remus’ bladder and bowels again. “In the morning I will change your bandages and put more of the salve on your burns; these dressings will be good for the night. You should get some sleep; I will look in on Teddy before turning in myself.”
“Thanks Sev’rus.” Remus slurred in his exhaustion, eyes closed and breathing already beginning to even out.
“Don’t mention it,” Severus said quietly to unhearing ears. He pulled the covers up over Lupin’s shoulders, dimmed the lights and left the room.
A/N: I make no profit off and take no credit for the exert from The Hobbit by J.R.R Tolkien.
Sorry for the length between updates, but as you can see this is a long one.

Thanks for reading! As always you have my apologies for any mistakes.

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The Long Road