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Demons	By : Madam_Weasley Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Draco/Ron Views: 3062 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any characters. I do not make any money from this story

Chapter List
- 5
- 6
- 7
It took us about half an hour to get off the floor. Body parts were stiff, numb, and sore. We mumbled ‘see you laters’ at each other. Malfoy heads back to his flat and I take a long hot shower to work out the kinks and wash off the blood.
^^ All through my shower I kept thinking about last night. What a fucking mess. If I write it all down maybe I can come back and look at it and figure things out. I guess this journal thing is like a muggle pensieve. Let’s see, a list of all that was fucked up about last night.
1. I spoke Fred’s name.
2. I cried in front of Malfoy.
3. I tried to kill myself.
4. I was saved by Malfoy.
5. I slept beside Malfoy.
6. I didn’t have nightmares
7. Malfoy said I was the closest thing he had to a friend.
I was fucking saved by Malfoy. What would have happened if he hadn’t come over? Would I have gone through with it? Do I want to?
I keep picturing his bloody face. His forehead against mine, telling me it shouldn’t have been either of us.   Could Malfoy become a friend? At this point in my life we have more in common than I do with anyone else. I know that my entire family lost Fred but everyone else has made amends, even George. I have no clue how George can get through each day and I struggle to be around people. Malfoy is the only person I haven’t felt like running away from. That is truly fucked up.
~~*~~*~~*~~
                I take a shower and then stretch out on my bed. I’m concerned about last night. Do I need to keep an eye on Weasley? I’ll probably check in on him today. Do I want that kind of responsibility? I said he was the closest thing I had to a friend. I meant that. I have no one else to talk to.
                I get up and get dressed. I start pacing again. I think today I’ll go outside. I need to do something that takes my mind off last night and there is NOTHING to do in my flat. I should probably eat something. I still don’t know what to do with any of this food. I find an apple in the refrigerator. I sit at the table to eat it.
                I realize I have absolutely no idea where I am. I don’t know if I’m in London or not. I guess if I go outside I stay very close since I don’t even know what this building looks like and I can’t use magic to get back.   Being free doesn’t seem like it when you are so restricted.
                I head downstairs, paying attention to my surroundings so I know where I’m going. I look at the building number and walk to the corner. I’ve got a cloak, but the wind is still cold. It actually feels kind of good. I stand for a minute with my eyes closed just feeling the wind blow into my face and whip my cloak around me. Feeling the sun on my face. Taking deep breaths of fresh air. I decide to play it safe and just walk around the block. I walk slowly, looking at everything and everyone. I still have no idea where I’m at. It’s not a great area, I can tell that. It reminds me a bit of Knockturn Alley. It’s a bit dodgy. I walk around the block twice and figure I’ll look suspicious if I keep circling.
                I make it back to the third floor and there is a piece of parchment stuck to my door.
                                “I have Fire whisky and mead. Come over if you want.”
                I can only assume it’s from Weasley. It seems a bit early to start drinking and I’ve not eaten anything more than crackers and an apple in 2 days. I wait for about an hour and then knock on his door.
                “You came?”
                “You invited me. So why are you shocked? If you weren’t serious I can go.”
                “No, no, no. I just wasn’t sure with how things have gone you’d come over. Come on in.”
                Weasley walks back into his flat and I follow, quietly closing the door. This is our first interaction that doesn’t involve fighting, nightmares, or crying.
                “I was just getting ready to make some sandwiches. You want something? It’s the first time I’ve actually felt hungry in about 2 weeks.”
                “Uh…”
                “I’ll make you something. You could stand to put on a pound or two.”
                “Look who’s talking.” I mumble.
                Weasley chuckles as he pulls things out of the refrigerator and the cabinets. “I take it they don’t feed you in Azkaban.”
                “Hardly. Some type of tasteless gruel twice a day. If you’re lucky you get a bug for protein.” Weasley makes a face. “It doesn’t help that I have no idea how to actually prepare food. I’ve always had a house elf or magic.”
                “So you’ve not been eating?”
                “I’m not often hungry so it’s not been an issue.”
                Weasley turns and puts two bottles of butterbeer on the table followed by two plates with thick turkey sandwiches with lettuce, tomatoes and more and crisps. At the sight of the food my stomach growls, loudly.
                I pick up a crisp and slowly put it in my mouth. The salt causes my mouth to fill with saliva. I may have moaned at the taste but I’m not sure. We eat in silence for a while.
                “Uh… thank you for last night.” Weasley says, picking at his sandwich and not making eye contact.
                “You’re welcome. Does that mean you won’t try it again?”
                “Honestly, I don’t know. I’ve not decided if I want to do it or not.”
                “Why would you want to?”
                “Why did you ask me to kill you the other night?”
                “Let’s see. I have no life. I have no family, friends, or money. Every time I close my eyes I see… him. I see Madam Burbage being murdered in front of me and then devoured by that vile snake. I see myself having to torture Rowle just so I wouldn’t be tortured. I see Crabbe dying in the fire. I see myself attempting to kill Dumbledore.” I look down at my plate and whisper. “I see you and Katie Bell.” I swallow a lump in my throat and look back up. He’s watching me now. “I never meant to hurt either of you. I was desperate, he was going to kill me. I never wanted to kill Dumbledore or torture Rowle. Growing up I thought I wanted to be like my father because he had power. I spent 6^th and what would have been 7^th year terrified that I was going to be killed. That’s all I see. I want the memories to end. I want the past to stay there It won’t, if I’m dead it will stop.”
                We’re quiet for a moment. Maybe he didn’t expect me to answer.
                “I see Fred dying in front of me. I see Hagrid carrying Harry’s body out of the forest. I see Lupin and Tonks, Lavender and Collin. I feel like I should have been able to help them. If we’d only done more. I don’t blame Harry or Hermione at all, just me. Maybe because I watched Fred die. Harry, Percy and I were all there with him. I didn’t have as much to offer as Fred. I always thought my family would have accepted my death better than they did Fred’s. Harry has Ginny and he and Hermione are still close. They would have been ok. Fred would have been with George still.”
                We’re quiet again, thinking of our own issues and each others.
                “Don’t you think you dying would upset your parents even more? You keep saying it should have been you, but if you go through with it they will have lost two sons. It won’t bring Fred back.” I can see him stiffen. “Sorry, not my place.”
                “I don’t even talk to my family anymore. I see them off and on but I avoid everyone as much as possible. Harry invited me over for dinner last night with him and Ginny. I lied about having plans, he said he’d force me to their place next Friday and I think he would. They’ve all moved on with life but I have no idea how to do it.”
                “I can’t help you with that. I have no clue what to do with my own life.” I say
                “We’re kind of pathetic, aren’t we?”
                “Kind of.”
~~*~~*~~*~~
                It’s about 4 when Weasley breaks out the Fire Whisky. I’ve never had any before. I was used to fine wines and mead. It burned my throat and made my eyes tear. It felt like snakes were coiling in my stomach. After the third shot it wasn’t as bad. We talk about random things. His sister’s engagement to Potter, things from Hogwarts, his job as an auror, the fact that I need to get a job. We’ve been drinking for about two hours.
                “Hey, Hey Malfoy. Do you remember when Moody turned you into a fucking ferret?” Weasley starts giggling.
                I glare at him and speak in what I feel is a dignified voice but I’m pretty sure it comes out kind of slurred. “That wusn’t funny. It hurt.”
                He’s still giggling as he goes back to the kitchen to a glass of mead. As he’s walking back in to the sitting room he trips and falls flat on his face. There is a brief moment when it’s completely silent and my mouth is hanging open in shock. I get ready to ask him if he’s ok but I burst out laughing instead. I laugh like I haven’t laughed in years. Straight from the stomach, tears in my eyes. He pulls his head up and glares at me. He rolls onto his back and I’m still laughing.
                “Fuck off Malfoy.”
                That makes me laugh even harder. He starts to laugh too so I know he’s ok.
                “You fucking tripped me asshole.”
                “I did not.” I say standing up.
                “Did too, why the fuck am I on the floor if you didn’t trip me.”
                “Are you always this vulgar when you’re drunk?” I ask reaching a hand out to help him up.
                “No, I’m just always this vulgar. Drunk has nuthin’ to do with it.”
                He grasps my hand and I pull. He’s like dead weight.
                “How in the hell is someone as skinny as you so heavy?” I ask pulling with both hands.
                “Like you have any room to talk. You’re like a fucking skeleton.”
Together we get him off the floor but we lose balance as he comes up off the ground and we fall back on to the couch. I fall back in a seated position and Weasley falls on top of me.
“Uff…” My breath is knocked from me as he lands on me.
“The room is spinning Malfoy.” He says, his forehead resting on my cheek.
“Yes it is, and you’re crushing me.”
He raises his head a little so that our cheeks are touching and he leans his face against mine and turns his head so that his lips are against my cheek. I’m still trying to deal with the spinning room and I feel like my heart has stopped. He’s awfully close. But I don’t move. He slides his lips across my cheek to the corner of my mouth. He slides a little more and he’s kissing me. He’s kissing me? I don’t respond but I don’t pull away. They’re soft pecks along my lower lip. I’m trying to figure out what’s going on and he slides off me so that we are sitting side by side, like last night. He puts his head on my shoulder and sits there. Not talking.
~~*~~*~~*~~
I just fucking kissed Draco Malfoy.
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