Camelopard Dreams | By : Lomonaaeren Category: Harry Potter > FemSlash - Female/Female Views: 4045 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. I am making no money from this story. |
Thank you for all the reviews! This is the last chapter of Camelopard Dreams. I hope you enjoyed it!
Chapter Six—The Camelopard Sacrifice
No matter how much they ate, Ginny thought, she never felt satisfied. Luna had made porridge and brought out fruit to put on it, and then toast and brought out marmalade and butter, and then scones, and then heavy dripping biscuits, and then sausages, and then a concoction of whipped cream that Ginny thought she’d probably been saving for pudding some other meal.
It didn’t matter. What they really wanted, what would really satisfy her, was an arm’s length away, but they didn’t have time to indulge in each other again before they returned to the Ministry. Ginny pouted about it, and didn’t care who saw.
Well, here there’s only me and Luna to see, she finally admitted, after the third time Luna caught her eye and gave her a delighted, mysterious smile.
“You look so much happier than you did yesterday. Did you throw salt out the window for the Whooping Herons when I wasn’t looking?”
Ginny laughed and put down her cup of coffee. They’d already gone through tea and pumpkin juice. “No. Just…knowing that you like me back makes me feel like I didn’t spend all that time loving and longing for you in vain.”
For a moment, she thought she might have said something wrong, because pink rushed down Luna’s face and her smile vanished. But the next second, it became obvious the first smile had only melted so something much stronger and more wonderful could replace it.
Luna reached out and gently slid her hand through Ginny’s hair, watching as Ginny closed her eyes and shivered luxuriously in the wake of the touch. “Your love and longing could never be in vain.”
“That’s easy to say now,” Ginny whispered, keeping her eyes closed. In fact, she didn’t want to sound as if she was too needy and drive Luna away.
“Stop that.” Luna patted her cheek in what was only not a slap because Ginny trusted Luna never to do that to her. Ginny opened her eyes and blinked.
“Stop what?”
“That ridiculous brooding on the past. It’ll fill your stomach with even more Writhing Snakes than you got last time. We’re together now. You took the risk and you got something for it. And I know that I won’t lose you to a spell or an Auror case that you took on when you shouldn’t have. So relax.”
Ginny nodded slowly, eyes locked on Luna’s. She didn’t have to know what Writhing Snakes were—as she still didn’t—to realize that Luna was right. And Luna must be feeling relieved, too, given that she had apparently been worrying about Ginny and trying to get her attention for years.
Just not the way anyone except Luna would have tried to get my attention, Ginny thought with a fond smile, and sipped at her tea again. “What are we going to do about the camelopard case, since you don’t want me using my spells again?” she asked.
“That’s simple enough,” Luna said, and set about emptying a packet of sugar into a cup. Well, no, it was more like a little jar, since it had a lid. Ginny sat back and raised an eyebrow, but Luna never looked up from emptying that sugar, in that absorbed way she had.
Well, and she wouldn’t be Luna if she didn’t do things like that, Ginny had to admit. This time, she waited until Luna looked up from her absorbed task to repeat the question. “What are we going to do?”
“Lure the camelopard to us,” Luna said, and leaned over the little clay jar. “After I cry in here. They love tears mixed with sugar.”
Ginny opened her mouth, then closed it again. She had asked, and Luna had told her. Now she would sit back and await results.
*
“But this doesn’t tell us anything about who the camelopard used to be, does it?”
“Doesn’t it?” Luna stopped in front of Ginny, tilting her head back. They were a street away from the house where Rosa Lestrange had died, and Ginny had to admire the sheen of Luna’s hair against the back of her neck for a moment. Had to; the way it shone snared her attention and wouldn’t let it go. “I think we’ll find it easily enough.”
“If you do,” Ginny acknowledged with a faint nod. Trusting Luna was restful in some ways. She no longer had to worry about Auror politics and whether she would offend someone or break some law she hadn’t known about. She only had to watch Luna as she opened the lid of the little jar and scattered the sugar, clotted with tears, on the ground.
“Now what do we do?” Ginny asked, wrinkling her nose a little as Luna added something else to the mess of sugar on the ground. It was the juice of a large purple fruit that smelled so strongly Ginny could have fainted if she was locked in a room with it.
“Now we wait.” Luna raised a barrier spell, a green one Ginny had never seen before, with a casual wave of her wand, and settled back on her heels.
“I think you’ve been inventing your own spells,” Ginny muttered, and sat down on the pavement beside her.
“I have not.” Luna looked honestly shocked, her eyes so wide that Ginny could look through them to the back of her skull.
“Then where did you get this spell?” Ginny knocked her knuckles against the barrier that stretched in front of them, gleaming so green and slick that it looked as if it was made of solidified ice.
“I found it. In a book.” Ginny still stared, and Luna finally bowed her head and admitted, “A book that I found in a ruin guarded by magical cobras at the bottom of a jungle in Wales.”
“There aren’t any jungles in Wales.”
“That’s because you don’t know where to look to find them. You have to turn sideways and step out of the world…”
Ginny chuckled in disbelief and joy, leaning her forehead against the barrier. “I’m going to have all sorts of fun learning from you. And if you want to learn any of the spells that I know, all you have to do is ask.”
“I want to know something else,” said Luna, her eyes solemn and wide and shimmering. “Why did you spend so much time dancing around me and not going after another woman when you thought I would never respond? I never even knew you liked women. I thought you would go back to hanging around with Wrackspurts.”
“I didn’t know that Wrackspurts distinguished between men and women,” said Ginny gently, while her stomach filled with what Luna would probably say were Writhing Snakes.
“Well, in this case, the man I expected you to date was so filled with Wrackspurts that I think it’s the same thing as dating them,” said Luna, shaking her shoulders and settling her hair. She checked over the barrier, and Ginny did the same thing, suddenly wondering if they were making enough noise to let the camelopard sneak up on them.
“Nothing can hear us or smell us past this barrier,” said Luna soothingly. “Even Muggle vehicles would drive right through us.”
Well, that might be true, but it wasn’t something Ginny was in a rush to experience, even so. “You mean Harry, don’t you? He has Wrackspurts all over him? But I thought you liked Harry.”
“That has nothing to do with Wrackspurts.”
Ginny nodded in acknowledgment. “Well, Mum wants me to date Harry, and sometimes he acts like he wants it, too. But I’ve known for years that I liked women, and I wanted to date you. Not him.”
“Then you have to tell him.”
“I know.” Ginny sighed. “But honestly, he went so long without glancing at me that I don’t think he’s the main one I have to worry about. That’s Mum. She hasn’t given up the idea of Potter grandchildren someday.”
“Why does she want them so much?”
“She talks about every woman wanting to watch her daughter having children.” Ginny gave another glance over the barrier, but as yet, there was no camelopard creeping close to sniff at the sugar. “I don’t know. She has lots of grandchildren already. Maybe she would be less upset about me not wanting them if she’d had another daughter and that daughter got married.”
“Lots of mothers don’t get to watch their daughters have children. Mine didn’t.”
Ginny caught her breath. She’d been thoughtless. She reached out. “Luna…”
“She was here while she was here,” Luna said, and touched the inside of Ginny’s wrist with gentle fingers, not glancing away from the barrier. “I think you’ll want to be quiet, even though this prevents sounds from getting past it. The camelopard is here, too.”
There was no reason for those words to make freezing water run through Ginny’s blood. She turned around clumsily on her knees, and then remembered that she was trying to be silent. But still, she could only stare as the camelopard came slowly towards them.
It was a great, clumsy beast, heavy bovine and slinking spotted leopard both at once, sniffing the air as though it could sense something besides the sugar. It glanced around and made the horns gleam. Squinting, Ginny thought she could see a hint of transparency already outlining its shoulders.
Luna’s right. They don’t last long.
But it was at least solid enough to leave a crunching trail of gravel behind it as it lumbered up to the barrier and lowered its head to lick up the sugar.
Luna waited until the sugar was gone and the beast was sniffing the ground for grains. Then she stood up and stepped past the barrier, her expression mild and unyielding.
"Luna," Ginny moaned softly, scrambling out of the trap and after her. The camelopard had lifted its head and simply frozen. It didn't seem to know what to do about a human willingly moving towards it.
But any second it was going to decide, and Ginny wasn't leaving Luna out there with it while it did.
The camelopard's lips pulled back and revealed its teeth. Its head was already starting to lower, the hooves and paws scraping at the ground. Luna halted, but more as if it was blocking her way forwards than because she was afraid. Ginny hurried up beside her.
"Rolanda," said Luna softly.
The camelopard went absolutely still, as if Luna had cast an ultra-powerful Freezing Charm on it. Ginny stared. Then she aimed her wand carefully at the camelopard, deciding this was Luna's way of distracting it.
Luna reached out and stopped Ginny with one hand on her arm. "Don't cast at her," she said. "It's not her fault that someone found her and sacrificed her. She was Rolanda Lestrange, the third sister of Rosa and Romula."
"How did you know that?" Ginny couldn't think of anything in the investigation that would have even hinted at that to Luna. Unless she had used one of the spells she had scolded Ginny for using, of course.
"I didn't until I got right here. But it makes sense, doesn't it? The camelopard attack on them, specifically, when they'd been in hiding since the war and not caused any great trouble?" Luna turned back to the camelopard, and Ginny started. It had actually almost been possible, scarily easy, to forget about the beast crouched in front of them. "Who else would it be?"
"So you used the name as a distraction not knowing it was her?"
"Yes." Luna gave Ginny a confused glance.
Ginny opened her mouth, then sighed and closed it. It would take too much time to complain about Luna's hypocrisy, and she probably wouldn't understand it anyway. "Now that we know who she was," she said, looking at the camelopard and trying in vain to see any trace of a female human in its body, "what do we do with her?"
"You know she won't survive for very long?" Luna asked softly, running a hand up to the fur between the camelopard's horns. The camelopard stared at her as if it couldn't believe Luna had done that. Ginny knew how it felt. She couldn't believe Luna had done that. "Camelopards dissolve into magic. Always. That's the way it happens."
"I know."
"There's not much we can do for her." Luna's eyes were fiercely sad, and more alert than Ginny had seen them when they were making love. "We can take her to a place that might make her happy for the time she has left, though."
"You don't think the Aurors will insist on us bringing her in because of the murders she committed?"
"What justice would they serve up? What do they do even to vampires and werewolves who end up killing someone, even if it's accidental?"
Ginny winced and nodded. She understood what Luna meant. That the camelopard had been a human being sacrificed and twisted by other human beings wouldn't matter to the Aurors. They would only think that was more reason to destroy the camelopard even before she dissolved, so that she couldn't take her rage and pain out on someone else.
And listen to me. I'm even thinking of the camelopard as "her" now, even though I still can't see anything human in her.
"I don't know if I'm going to work with Aurors anymore," Ginny said, while Luna poured more crystallized, tear-laden sugar on her hand and held it out to the camelopard. "I don't--well, I'll take a holiday, anyway. Sometimes it's the right thing to do, to go to them. This time, it wouldn't be."
Luna smiled at her and scratched the camelopard's horn. "Who's a good Rolanda?" she cooed at her. "Does the good Rolanda want to come with Luna and see where I think she'll be happy in her last days?"
There are plenty of people who would still say she's mad, Ginny thought as she followed Luna and the camelopard, step by step, towards the Apparition point. But God, look at her. I wouldn't want her any other way.
*
Luna Apparated them all--even holding onto the camelopard, which Ginny honestly hadn't been sure would work--to a large grassy field with muddy ruts in it, and trees, and no trace of a human building. Ginny looked around curiously. She didn't know where it was, but she could feel the camelopard lift her head and sniff the air.
"This is a place without humans," Luna said, stroking the camelopard's side this time. The beast was too interested in sniffing to pay attention. "This is a place while no one will hunt you while you wait for your--end."
The way her voice thickened told Ginny how hard it was for her to say that, but the camelopard didn't seem to be paying any attention. Maybe she only responded to tones of voice and certain words, Ginny thought, like any animal.
Delicately, she pranced away from them, moving awkwardly on her combined hooves and paws. She sniffed the air again. Then she lowered her head and began to crop the grass as though she was starving.
"I thought they didn't really eat," Ginny mutter.
Luna leaned her shoulder against Ginny's. "She was driven mad by the presence of humans. Because she was a sacrificed human, of course. I should have thought of that before." Luna shook her head in what looked like disbelief. "Ordinary camelopards can be driven mad by certain things that were around when they came to be. It's no wonder she was attacking."
"But we're here, and we're human."
"Listen to the air, Ginny." Luna cupped her hand under Ginny's chin. "Listen to the wind."
Ginny tried, although she didn't know what she was listening for, and the sharp crunch of the camelopard's flat teeth chewing grass interrupted her anyway. But she started to hear what Luna was talking about. There was so little wind stirring in the field that it seemed as if the air was heavier and purer. And then she began to feel as if a noise was missing that had been present so long she had stopped hearing it.
"There's something--missing?" She hated that she sounded so uncertain.
"The presence of humans. Our magic." Luna sighed and leaned on Ginny, swaying her arm back and forth as if it were a swinging door. "No one casts here. I found it by accident when I was following a Blithering Humdinger. You can Apparate in, and you can bring in objects like our wands that are magical, but it just negates any spells."
Ginny closed her eyes and sighed a little, head tipping back. "It's so peaceful."
"It is at that," Luna said, and together they stood and watched the camelopard crunching grass, moving further and further away. Her hooves and paws worked together now, Ginny thought, instead of apart. She might make a lumbering figure that looked sort of silly against the green of the grass, but she was no longer unnatural.
"What do you think is going to happen to her?" Ginny finally murmured. "Will she break free and attack people again?"
Luna's hair shimmered in the sunlight as it fell down against her shoulders. "No. I really don't think so," she added, maybe because Ginny could feel herself looking less than reassured. "She's at peace here, and her sisters are gone, one way or the other. She won't have any vengeance to seek out."
Ginny leaned more heavily on Luna, and said, "I would like to come back here some time. Just the two of us."
"Of course we can," Luna said, and let her hair slide over Ginny's ear. "Just us and the flowers and the grass and the Reverse Sylphs."
Ginny smiled.
*
"You did what with a murdering beast?"
"Relocated it to a place where it won't bother anyone anymore," Ginny said easily. She supposed that the Deputy Head Auror, a huge man named Silvan who looked like a walking wall, could intimidate most people he interacted with. But Ginny wasn't an Auror, and she didn't answer to him. "The way that often happens with dangerous animals."
"This one murdered people."
"And it was made from a human sacrifice. Rolanda Lestrange." Ginny stared into his eyes as she laid the file of information on Rolanda down on the desk. Once she'd started investigating, it honestly wasn't hard to find. Luna had started her in the right direction with the name. "I believe blood feud law allows striking back in cases like that?"
"What would you know about blood feud law?"
Ginny gave him a thin smile, because she knew what lay behind the question. Silvan wasn't one of those pure-bloods prejudiced against Muggleborns, but he was one of the ones who prided himself on knowing the laws no one used anymore, the greetings dead a century ago, the reasons for the goblin wars. She was a Weasley who didn't fit his picture of the "right" person to know things like that. "Enough to make a living with it in my cases, and understand when it impacts them. In this case, Rosa and Romula Lestrange committed a crime against a member of their own family. If it's not fatal, the family member who suffered the injury is permitted to avenge themselves. The Aurors stop in only when the victim is dead. Isn't that right, Auror Silvan?"
He stared at her, huffing, his arms folded. Then he said, "Get out."
Gladly. But Ginny didn't say it, because even if she had decided to step back on working with the Aurors, she might want to again someday, when she could do more for justice and less with the spells that made Luna so worried. She bowed to Auror Silvan, just to increase his fury, and left.
Luna was waiting for her at home.
But there were two more people Ginny had to talk to before she could go back and see her again. Luna had made it a condition.
A sensible one, Ginny had to admit.
*
“Ginny? Are you all right? Is that dangerous case you were on over with?”
“Hi, Mum.” Ginny brushed soot off her robes and turned to face her mother. Mum’s face was seamed with such weariness that Ginny wanted to take her in her arms and hug her.
And why shouldn’t she do that, if she wanted to?
Molly clucked a bit as Ginny hugged her, but she was smiling when she pulled back and brushed a few strands of hair from Ginny’s eyes. “You’re safe? You don’t have to worry about someone chasing you or trying to kill you?”
“Not right now. Luna and I figured out what was going on with the case, and it’s solved now.” Ginny nodded to the dining room table. Remarkably, it really did seem as if her mum was alone in the house. Not even a tumble of grandchildren to take care of. “I have something to talk to you about, though. Is that okay?”
“Of course.” Molly still seemed vaguely disturbed as she took a seat at the table, though, and kept studying Ginny anxiously, as if she thought it was bad news. Good news didn’t usually take a special visit and a hug.
From her perspective, it probably was. Ginny sat across from her and said, gently, clearly, “Mum, I’m not ever going to have children.”
Molly’s breath caught, and for a second Ginny thought her eyes would fill with tears. But then she shook her head stubbornly, and said, “You can’t really mean that, Ginny. Not really. You just mean that you haven’t found the right man yet. And how can you, when you haven’t even started looking?” She leaned across the table and playfully slapped Ginny’s arm.
“I mean it, Mum. No children. No marrying Harry.” Ginny hesitated, weighing up the words, and decided to say them, for the same reason she hadn’t tried to soften what she’d already said. There was too much chance her mother might misunderstand. “No man.”
“What—what do you mean? You can’t mean that you want to stay alone the rest of your life.”
“No. I already have someone. I found Luna through this case, and I found out she wants me, too, and I’m not ever going to let her go.”
Molly stared at her as though she’d started breathing fire. Then she said, “Luna’s a nice girl, of course, but she can’t marry you.”
“Not in the way Bill and Fleur did. But I’ve been looking through some of the ancient customs, and I found one Luna likes, and she and I are going to be married that way come summer.” Ginny snorted a little. She’d thought she would have to wait a long time before she could propose anything like marriage, but Luna had walked up to her with the book that morning. “We’d like you to come.”
“This—this can’t be true, Ginny. You’re so young.”
Ginny couldn’t help it; she rolled her eyes. “Old enough to marry a man, but not a woman? Luna’s the same age as I am, you know.”
“I mean—you’re too young to decide that you want to be bound in the ancient ways to a woman, when you might change your mind and start wanting a man and children tomorrow. A binding in the ancient ways can never be broken, you know that.”
“That’s one of the attractive things about it for Luna and me.”
“Ginny—you can’t. I always looked forward to your children so much, and—”
“I’m not going to have them,” Ginny said, and took her mother’s hand. “Ultimately, Mum, and please—I’m not trying to hurt you. I love you. But this is my choice, my life. Not yours.”
Molly sat still for so long Ginny wasn’t sure what she was going to say next. But then she turned away and put her head down and began to sob.
Ginny stood up and went around the table and held her. It felt so familiar, if strange at the same time. She had only done this once before for her mother, after Fred died, but her mother had done it for her so often.
At last, Molly’s sniffles and sobs and gulps died down to silence. She rubbed at her face and then turned and touched Ginny’s shoulder as if she was made of ice and Molly might melt her with her heat. “I only want to know that you’ve really thought about this,” she whispered. “That you won’t change your mind tomorrow and want marriage and children.”
“I never have. Maybe that doesn’t reassure you, but it’s the truth, Mum.”
Molly sat for a long time as if listening, and then sighed. “Yes, I can feel it. It’s the truth.” She sighed and then flung her arms around Ginny and hung on for so long Ginny gasped. “Only promise me that you’ll think long and hard about bonding in the ancient ways before you do it. It’s irrevocable.”
Ginny managed to smile. “One nice of part of the rituals that Luna wants to use is that you have to wait and meditate on them, and you have to take a long time to set them up, too. So we’ll have at least a year before anything has to happen.”
“Thank you,” Molly whispered.
Ginny knew she was probably only thanking her for the length of time, and she might still think Ginny would change her mind in the interim, or that Luna would. But Mum was still her mum and Ginny loved her, so she chose to interpret it also as thanks for telling her the truth.
She’ll get used to it in time. She’s strong. She can become used to so many things, and maybe eventually happy for me.
And that left only one person Ginny had to confront.
*
“Gin? Have you—I mean, how are you?”
Have you finally decided to come on a date with me? Even though Harry had cut the question off, Ginny knew that was what he was about to ask.
“No.” With Harry, like Mum, Ginny saw no point in not being clear and direct. Besides, she didn’t believe that Harry’s dream had ever been to marry her. She dusted some more soot off her robes and spoke without moving away from the fireplace. “I’m going to marry a woman. I’m a lesbian, Harry. Not into men. I can’t date you.”
Harry stared, and stared. Ginny almost thought she could leave and it would end there. But Luna had insisted that she got some confirmation that people understood before she left, so she remained.
She didn’t expect Harry to spin away from her and kick the leg of one of the chairs. Ginny winced. They were heavy mahogany, like almost all the furniture Harry had bought after the war. He’d said he wanted something that would last.
“Harry?”
“I want a family. And children. And you were my best chance.”
Ginny tried to think about and understand that, but then indignation rushed through her and she narrowed her eyes. “Are you seriously implying that you were going to ask me on a date because you were too lazy to go and find anyone else?”
Harry glared back. “Not lazy! Just, I know you best and you’re always around and I thought you liked me, so…”
“That’s called laziness, Harry. You aren’t even in love with me, are you?”
“I want children.” Harry spoke so softly she could hardly hear him over the flames crackling behind her. “I always have. And I’ve gone long enough without them.”
“Then you can find yourself someone who wants to have them,” Ginny replied. He jumped as if her words were a rap on the knuckles. “Someone you love and who loves you in return. I love someone else. I wouldn’t be a good wife for you even if I liked men and wanted children.”
Harry only looked at her with sad eyes. “Where am I supposed to find someone else who loves me for me instead of what my money can buy her?”
“You’ll have to look.” Honestly, that was part of the problem with this whole arrangement in her mother’s head where they got married and had kids, Ginny thought. It was convenient for everyone except her, maybe, but it didn’t mean Harry cared about her or had any commitment to the idea. No wonder he had acted lukewarm about dating her. “You can find someone.”
“I don’t know that.”
Ginny shrugged. “Take a risk. You used to be good at those. I think you’re still good at those,” she had to add, thinking about some of the stories she’d heard from Harry in the last year. “You just didn’t want to take it with your family.”
Harry snapped his head up. “Children should never be raised in a situation where they’ll be at risk.”
“They shouldn’t be raised in a loveless marriage that one of their parents decided on because he didn’t want go out looking, either,” Ginny said. “And you do have strong feelings on that subject. That means you have a lot stronger feelings than I do.” She softened her voice when she saw the look of absolute misery on his face. “You can find someone who wants them as much as you do and who will love you for you. I’m certain of it.”
“I don’t know that.”
“You’ll have to look.” Ginny thought she had done all she could. If Harry didn’t understand by now that she wouldn’t date him, wouldn’t marry him, wouldn’t be the mother to his children, then he never would despite all she could say. “I’ll invite you to my bonding to please Mum, but I understand if you don’t want to be there.”
He only stood looking away. Ginny turned and took five steps back to the fireplace before he said, “Who is it?”
“Luna,” Ginny said, and the look of absolute astonishment on his face before the fire flared up around Ginny and claimed her indicated, to Ginny at least, that his healing had already started.
*
Luna came to meet her with a complicated weave of braided grass in her hands. Ginny leaned forwards to kiss her, being careful not to break apart the weave. “Hello,” she murmured, and tried to make the kiss as complicated.
Luna held up the grass like a shield, and Ginny stepped back. “How did it go?”
“Mum’s disappointed and tried to tell me I could change my mind, but she was more at ease when she realized how long this bonding in the ancient ways takes.” Ginny smiled at Luna’s smile. “And Harry is…he’s acting more disappointed than he actually is, I think. Because he wanted to marry me because I was there, and a friend who sees him the way he is, and convenient. Now that he knows he’ll have to look outside the Weasley family, maybe he’ll find someone he can really love.”
Luna stood there looking back at her, her face like a mirror filled with light. Ginny swallowed nervously. Maybe Luna had criteria she hadn’t met.
Then Luna sighed, and said, “It is well,” and flung the net of braided grass over Ginny’s head.
Ginny stared down at the net, and touched one of the stems. It was actually firmer than she’d thought, blades of grass so tightly wrapped together there seemed no beginning or end of the complex circles.
“To anchor you to your body. To keep you safe from the spells you use, and doubts. And camelopards.”
Ginny had to take Luna in her hands then, had to kiss her, and Luna melted against her without a protest. And the grass rustled softly between them, and reminded Ginny of the best thing:
She had chosen someone who thought in a different way, a unique way. But the best way.
The End.
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