Adult-FanFiction.org : Harry Potter

Illusions Of Reality	By : Alexa_Sterling Category: Harry Potter > Het - Male/Female > Draco/Hermione Views: 11048 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 2
Disclaimer: For Fan fiction. I do not own Harry Potter or the characters. I don't make any money/profit by writing this story.

Chapter List
- 1-Beginnings
- 2-Nobody
- 3-Scars
- 4-Stares
- 5-Dreams
- 6-Requests
- 5
- 6
Author Notes:
Hello, my dear readers! I must say I am overwhelmed with your response! I can't ask for more. THANK YOU VERY MUCH. For the dragon prints and reviews. I am content if you are enjoying this story and want me to continue. Any issues or questions reviews. I reply almost instantly. And any suggestions are always welcome.
However, there was an issue with one of the readers.(FF.NET PEOPLE NOT HERE!!) It was mentioned that I have destroyed everything good about Hermione and this is not how things happen in real life and I am just a kid. I already mentioned, My Hermione has faced a lot. She is at her breaking point. Her sanity is hanging by threads. It is her determination that is helping her hold on, if only for a little while. THERE ARE REASONS FOR THAT. I CAN'T REVEAL THEM JUST YET. As for things in real life, I am in the right place, aren't I? This is FICTION. Not everything here is real. Thank you very much. I am an adult. My country's standards deemed me as an adult, years ago. Just to be clear, Would you like if a 90-year-old woman wrote this fic? Will it meet your age requirement?
My characters are the way I planned they should be. They might seem OOC. I really don't mind. It's entirely up to your wish if you read this fic. I'm done compelling people. I am extremely THANKFUL to people to take the time to read my story and like it even though it seems like a mess. Don't like it? Don't read it. I do it all the time. THANK YOU for listening to me rant.
LOVE LOVE AND LOTS OF LOVE,
Alex.
Disclaimer: I do not own anything. Harry Potter is all the property of J.K. Rowling. I'm just playing with her characters. I do not make any profit with this fan fiction.
Chapter 6: Requests
8th September 1998, Tuesday, 10:12 P.M, Library, Hogwarts.
It was like ice and fire. Both at once. Both burning me.
It was like as if a lightning bolt had struck me, like the waves of the ocean had swallowed me into their depths.
It felt like the first shower of rain on a barren desert.
His kiss made me feel alive. It was nothing like anything I felt earlier. And before I know, it consumed me.
Electricity sparked up every nerve of mine and I felt my magic surge like a tycoon in me. Just waiting. Ready to burst. My heart pounded away wildly as desire clouded my senses. I knew he was all wrong. I knew this was all wrong. I wasn't supposed to happen. Illusions make things change and in my case, I could do nothing but succumb to his kiss and respond as passionately as I could.
I didn't even realise when my hair came down until his fingers were buried deeply, tangling in my locks. His lips were softer than what I had expected. It was a million times better than the dream. Everything felt real. His hair felt as soft as silk underneath my fingertips. His kisses felt passionate and intense. We were both holding on to each other for dear life as his tongue slipped into my mouth and my moan was silenced with the scorching kiss.
We drew back panting for air. His forehead was against mine and every breath he took was making me want more and more of him. I was out of all rational thoughts at this moment. All I could think is how his skin would feel against mine without any barrier. I wanted to touch him. That thought was making the fire spread through my veins. When he opened his eyes to show me those stormy grey orbs, I swear a sharp throb hit my core and I gasped in need.
It was too much. I wanted him. I needed him. Nothing else. He gave out a ragged chuckle listening to me. My heart skipped a beat or two. Dear Merlin. Why was he this sexy? Or is it just me? No. Even a blind person can tell that he was Adonis himself. He placed his long index finger against my lips and looked at me. Just looked at me. I couldn't even get myself to move a single inch.
"Shh," He murmured with a husky voice that tightened everything south of my body. At this point, He could ask me to jump off a cliff and I would. It was finally starting to clear the haze.
Before I could even react his strong arms grabbed me and wrapped my legs around his lean waist, giving me the friction I craved and him the leverage he wanted. He pressed himself against me and I whimpered in hot desperate need. I wanted something. Anything. Anything that will soothe this fire. I was feeling hot all over and he wasn't helping things. With one more look that destroyed my knickers, he swooped in again to kiss me like never before. It was hot, needy and everything that was required for a girl to lose her mind. I ground against him wantonly and he retaliated by tugging on my lower lip deliciously. I moaned out too loud this time. It served as a trigger and things escalated pretty quickly after that.
His lips descended to my neck sucking, nipping and biting. My hands were fisted in his hair as I drew him closer. His fingers tightened on my thighs. Just there, with enough pressure to make me crazy in anticipation. I wanted him to take me. Right here. Right now. Nothing more. His teeth tugged on the sweet spot at the junction of my neck and shoulder, increasing my arousal ten folds. He discovered it just yesterday and it never failed to make me groan and whimper.
That was when it hit me. How did he know that very spot?
Thoughts as clear as day came rushing to me. I pushed him off with all the strength I could muster. He stumbled from the unexpected shove and I tried my best not to crumple on the floor when he lost his hold on me. He was panting, looking lost for a moment. He slowly raised his head and met my gaze.
I almost screamed. The voices. They ... they were back. NO. Oh my god. No. Not now. Not here. My head felt like it would explode. Voices of every kind. Every tone. High or low. Deep or shrill. Female or male. Everything was there in that horrible mix. There were screams. There were pained moans. There were shouts, howls. I clutched my head, closing my eyes desperately wishing them to go away.
"Hermione?" He asked in a voice that acted like a salve. It was the very first time, I heard him call me by my given name. I looked at him and flattened myself against the wall when I noticed it. His eyes... They looked like mine when the spell was too strong. He was breathing heavily and staring at me with wide eyes, pupils dilated. What I saw in his eyes was something foreign. It was fear. Fear for me. Something was wrong.
The spell. No.. Could he? Holy Merlin.
He reached out to me. It was then I snapped. This shouldn't be happening. It was forbidden. It wasn't meant to be. I .. I can't do this and forgive myself later. No.
Without another thought or looking at him, I grabbed my things and ran for dear life.
8th September 1998, Tuesday, 10:35 P.M, New Castle, Hogwarts.
I was sitting on the floor of my room, staring blankly at the walls, trying to figure out what just happened. I.. I was in the library reading. Then Malfoy came in. Sat in front of me eating a bloody green apple. No, devouring it happily. Then before I knew I had hit him on the head with my daily prophet and .. Sweet Circe! He kissed me. For real. My God. Oh my god. I kissed him back.
The realisation hit me like a hurricane and I cradled my head in my hands in despair. THIS FUCKING STUPID SPELL. It is wrecking my life. Had I been in my right mind, I wouldn't even have kissed him. We would have been in the hospital wing gravely injured or something. We can't stand each other without hexing for 5 minutes. What is wrong with him? I didn't know Draco Malfoy liked aggressive girls.
Of course, I didn't. All I know is Draco Malfoy has only one type for now at least. Me.
Thanks to the infuriating damn spell that hit us both.
Damn Malfoy for being so adept at hiding it.
Damn him for not realising that I am lusting after him. Not Theo.
That .. that kiss shouldn't have happened. I wasn't worried about kissing him and tainting myself or something. It was that .. that kiss shouldn't have felt that way. It was all consuming, mind numbing and toe curling. It was addictive and nothing like I had experienced before. It was this feeling in my gut that was making me heave for air. I felt connected to him on a level I didn't understand. It was scaring me. I hated not knowing things.
This spell was confusing me. It is not there in any of the books. I haven't considered the fact that it might be dark magic. Dark magic leaves marks on the soul. Traces, like scars after an accident. It can't be a dark spell. It doesn't have any residual darkness hanging around it. If there was anything, I would have felt it. Just like the Horcrux. But I knew, It is the time I break this spell once and for all.
No one messes with Hermione Granger and gets away with it. I felt determined. This time, I won't succumb to his administrations. We will talk. I will figure this out and I swear I will kill the bastards behind this. How dare they hook me up with Malfoy of all people? I don't deny he is hot but... Oh, Merlin. This spell is messing my judgement. He is a Malfoy. That's enough reason to stay away from him. I really thought of giving him a chance. That included being cordial to him rarely and out of his way, Not fantasising about jumping him.
I fell asleep dreading the night mares. Bellatrix was there yet again. I will never get used to her. I could recognise that hair and the crazed glint in her eyes anywhere. I knew her features better than mine. I lay there, bleeding on the floor as she carved that horrible word on me. I didn't scream for the first time. I won't give that bitch the satisfaction. She will never have it from now on. I will not crumple to her demands. I am stronger than this. Another step forward. Another step towards the light.
I look at Draco watching me with barely hidden horror. He will always be there. No matter what. It will always pain me that he refused to help me just to save his hide.
These people around me were monsters. They were murderers. Draco might not be like them. He was no better. He could have protested. He didn't. He just went on with it. I always thought he could be redeemed... The incident with Bellatrix had shattered my hopes once and for all. What Dumbledore's death couldn't do... His simple look of pure loath did. He looked down at me like I did deserve her torture that day... It was something I was trying hard to forgive. Trying being the operative word. The spell wasn't making things easier for me.
Then he nods. Again. And everything vanishes as I prepare myself for the confrontation.
We were standing in the dimly lit 7th-floor corridor. I find myself staring at him trying to figure what's going on in his head. His thumb traces my lower lip and my heart skips a beat. I manage to compose myself and continue to look at him. It was then I was taken aback by the sudden display of emotions on his face. Malfoy wasn't very emotional. He always put on a stony face and rarely showed people what he was feeling since the war. Apparently, I am not one of them.
I saw relief flicker in eyes. Then fear and then longing. The same thing I saw, when I left him in the prefect's compartment. Could this spell have been casted on us then? I had started feeling strange since that day...
Out of the blue, pulling me out of my thoughts He hugged me, knocking the wind out of me. He was sighing and murmuring something I couldn't understand. His nose was buried in the crook of my neck and I was really trying to find a way to keep my sanity intact. For that, I needed to be at an arm's length from him.
"Malfoy. Release me." I whispered. He just tightened his hold, shaking his head vehemently, like a child feared of letting go of his mother. It unnerved me. This was so unlike him. What is going on? Why.. Why did this seem so familiar? I asked myself as my heart constricted in an emotion I didn't comprehend.
"Malfoy" I breathed again. "I can't .. breathe," I said. He moved a little and released me, going back to stand and look at me.
"You are back," He said jubilantly. It was like Christmas came early. Oh, Draco. What is this spell doing to you? It was harder to breathe now. Even harder than when he hugged me.
"I am" I replied.
"Thank Merlin. I .. I thought you were gone. You were angry .. I called you several times. You just ran .. I was so .." He said stammering. Malfoy was losing sense altogether.
"Malfoy. Calm down" I said reaching him. This spell is strong. Whatever it is. He can't bear the fact that I ran away from him. This is serious. We need help.
"I .. I was," He said weakly. I wrapped my arms around him. It didn't feel unnatural. That fact was odd.
"Draco" I murmured and he looked at me. I was ready to do whatever I could to help him when I saw him vulnerable under my gaze. He was losing it. That's why he was hiding it. His condition was worsening.
"Come with me" I whispered and he nodded. I took him to the room of requirement and made him sit on the bed with me. He didn't want to let me go. He just crumpled there, holding on to me with his head in my lap.
"I .. I shouldn't have done that. Came to tell...Hmm..I scared you off... Couldn't hold back... Reminded me ..." He mumbled before drifting back to sleep. I didn't have to heart to push him away. Clearly, it wasn't just the spell that was bothering him. He came to talk to me about something. He was agitated and I wondered how he will respond when he comes back to his senses. He hardly seems the type of guy who is this unguarded in front of someone.
I sighed. I couldn't just let him go. Break this spell and get rid of him. There is more to Draco than that meets the eye. Something must have happened in these 4 months. He is acting too different. Even during his trial, he was rigid and withdrawn from me. He was in Azkaban for a good part of those months. What could have happened there? It is unnatural to have an earth shattering revelation in such short span.
Maybe he is just like me? I thought surprised. Maybe the war had taken a toll on him too. In some other way. I can .. I can help him. After all, I am the only one in front of whom he oddly opens up.
I just don't fucking get it. Why me? It can't be the spell alone. There is something, even more, stronger going on here. I haven't got a clue, Maybe ... Maybe he does? I thought, looking down at the angelic face sleeping peacefully clutching me for dear life.
I will fix you Draco. I promised to myself. I will figure this out and get us out of this mess.
Because I know. I know how it is like to be broken.
I was reading Hogwarts A History, which I conjured up with the room of requirement, calming my arousal from hitting the sky. He was adorable while sleeping. I watched him in fascination for a good hour as he parted those lips, that were better than most of the girls here and gave out little puffs of air. He tossed and turned much, taking me down with him every single time. I managed to get up anyway. He kept mumbling things. It was then I realised he talks in his sleep. I couldn't make out a single word. I gave up trying after a while.
"Ugh" I sighed as he pulled me down to him again. He is relentless in having me under him. His arms were wrapped around my waist holding me to him tightly. I was losing myself to his fragrance. I hummed and finally gathered up the wits to pull away, though I would love nothing more than lay with him.
"I can't let you go again. Don't go this time. I won't survive this time. " He mumbled and I stilled, taking a sharp breath. He opened his eyes groggily and smiled at me sleepily.
"I .. I am not going" I stammered. Again? As far as I remember I ran away from him. It's not exactly letting me go.
"Hmm," He said sighing happily as his hands crept up like wines.
"Malfoy?" I asked. No response.
"Malfoy?" I asked again. He bristled but made no sound.
"FOR GOD SAKE DRACO! Stop trying to unbutton my shirt!" I cried out in frustration.
He pouted. I had to look away to control myself and not jump at him.
"Wake up you sleepy head!" I snapped and he laughed.
"I am awake as well as my other parts. Thanks to you" He murmured looking down at himself. Oh. I blushed furiously.
"Sorry. I didn't mean to" I mumbled. This was embarrassing. I came here to talk. Not to let him shag my brains out.
"I did," He said with a wicked glint in his eye and I almost lost it. Almost.
"Not now" I stonily and he frowned. I never had the conscience to say no until now.
"Hm?" He asked confused.
"We need to talk," I said. He looked even more confused if that was that.
"About what?" He said releasing me finally. I greedily gulped in air to clear my head as we both sat up.
"The spell... I know it has hit you too" I said and he winced staying silent for several long agonising moments.
"I knew I couldn't hide it from you. I just hoped it would be a little longer" He said running a hand through his now tousled hair.
"You should have told me. We could have found a cure for it together" I suggested and he looked at me pointed.
"Tell me, Granger, Do you think I haven't scoured the library for a cure or what this spell is actually? Let me tell you. I am not a dunderhead. I have searched the entire bloody place. There is nothing useful here." He snapped. Finally. Finally, the Malfoy I knew was returning. I was never this happy with him.
"What about the restricted section?" I asked.
"That I left to you. After all, I agreed to more torture with you and risking the sanity of my head, for a chance of a tour in the restricted section" He said leaning back against the head board and crossing his arms.
"How very chivalrous of you" I muttered.
"I heard that" He replied and I rolled my eyes.
"Who do you think hit us with this spell?" I asked.
"It's not anyone here at Hogwarts." He said simply.
"How do you know that?" I asked. He stared at me.
"Do you think these blubbering fools could have cooked up something to get us both down to our knees?" He asked.
"We can't rule out your Slytherin pals, can we? They are adept in magic Merlin knows how powerful" I said and He smirked sinfully.
"I assure you, Granger, the Slytherins don't even know one fourth of what I know," He said slowly. I stared at him cautiously.
"What do you know?" I asked. There was that smirk again.
"Curious much?" He taunted.
"Malfoy" I warned and he conceded.
"I was trained to be a Death Eater by the best. After all, I was their youngest death eater. And that Half blood wanted to punish me for not killing Dumbledore. " He said slowly and in a low voice.
"By the best?" I asked as fear slowly made its presence known.
"You rather not know," He said looking at me. I already had a guess seeing his reluctance.
"Who?" I pressed.
"My father and .. the Lestranges" He replied vaguely. I knew the very Lestrange he meant.
"Oh" Was all I could manage. Would I see that maniacal woman every time I see him now that I know she shaped him up?
"Granger" He murmured grabbing me unexpectedly and making me sit on his lap.
"I am not them. They are my family. I can't change who they are" He said. I looked at him.
"You can change who you are," I said staring at his face.
"That, I can try," He said wrapping his arms around me and placing his chin on the top my head.
"We need to break this spell," I said sounding agitated at the close proximity.
"See the restricted section as soon as Snape arranges it," He said. I nodded.
"You did something to your hair" He murmured distastefully.
"You don't like it?" I asked surprised.
"I like your rat's nest the way it is. It's all part of your charm. You look beautiful the way you are. " He said and with a flick of his wand, my curls returned. Curling his fingers into my locks, he sighed.
"This is better," He said content. My heart skipped a beat. Ron wanted me to get pretty and dolled up. No .. None ever told me I looked beautiful the way I was. Apart from Ginny and my parents. It surprised me and made me happy. I felt my heart swell with happiness.
"We could fix that" I murmured just like yesterday and he growled.
"Stop teasing me, witch" He warned pulling me back against him. I felt his erection digging into my behind and a wave of arousal hit me. I whimpered. I scrambled away from him. Get a grip, Hermione.
"The spell is getting worse," I said gasping for air. He sighed in frustration.
"Shall .. Shall I talk to Theo?" He suggested gritting his teeth.
"I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS!" I cried. He jumped in surprise looking around.
"What? What happened?" He asked with his wand at ready.
"You haven't figured it out yet?" I asked. I rolled my eyes. "Are you that thick to think that I will let you anywhere near me if I was actually lusting after Nott?" I questioned. He looked shell shocked for several minutes.
Then the light returned to his eyes. And there went my plans to not to let him near me.
In one fluid motion, he grabbed and had me pinned to the bed with his weight. Oh lord. He looked at me, those grey eyes locking with my chocolate brown ones. He didn't even let me breathe in after that. He captured my lips with renewed passion as all my resolutions faded into nothingness.
The thing is, kissing Draco Malfoy is like playing with the fire even when you know you will get burnt and even when you know it's dangerous. You can't help it because he is good at what he is doing to me. He was slowly killing me with the passion. And I, like a blubbering fool was succumbing to his touch. His kisses. His taste. Him
"Malfoy" I breathed as his hands roamed my torso. His simple touch was setting me on fire. I couldn't even start to describe what I was feeling right now.
"We .. We need to stop," I told him in between the kisses and groans. Oh dear lord. This is extraordinary.
"Yes," He agreed not pausing a minute to nip my ear lobe. I thrashed against him.
"Malfoy" I half moaned and half shouted.
"Draco" He corrected with his oh so sexy voice.
"DRACO" I cried as he said when he found that spot on my neck again to mark me.
"Better" He murmured rolling over to pull me on top.
Taking that as my lucky chance, I gathered up all my determination and scooted off him. Damn his strong arms. He caught me with almost no effort, pulling me back against him.
I glowered at no one in particular as he spooned me from behind, holding me tight. Ron never did that. He hated the fact that my hair can have a penchant to irritate anyone's nose.
"Granger. Your hair is a riot. I swear, I swallowed one strand" He said sounding amused as well as grumpy at the same time.
"You won't die" I grumbled drily.
"Salazar help me!" He cried suddenly. "HELP! GRANGER'S HAIR IS CHOKING ME!" He shouted dramatically. I laughed at his antics.
"Shouldn't have held me this way, then" I said chuckling as I heard more cries of help and gagging.
"Oh quit it will you? I know you didn't swallow anything. My hair won't kill you" I said exasperatedly. His laughter caught me off guard. His chest rumbled with it and I felt it. Believe it or not, It felt oddly familiar. When did this happen?
"You will be the death of me Granger," He said finally shaking his head. "You smell so nice" He murmured.
"How do I smell like?" I asked curiously.
"Like you always smell" He replied. Did he smell me before? Maybe earlier. We had many encounters this year.
"Like?" I prompted and he chuckled.
"Ever the curious book worm" He teased. I elbowed him and he yelped.
"OKAY!" He answered. "Lilies. You smell like Lilies " He said quietly.
"It's probably my shampoo" I mumbled reaching out to sniff my hair self consciously. The riot of curls will never settle down. But he likes it! Why do I care if he does?
"No. It's just you" He said earnestly. I turned in his arms to see him.
"The spell is changing you," I said searching his face for the malice I was accustomed to seeing.
"Maybe it is" He replied leaning his forehead against mine. Our hearts were beating in a synchronised rhythm.
"What I would do to make this real!" He said, his breath caressing my face. For a person with such cold exterior, he was surprisingly warm.
"What if.. What if I said this is real?" I asked slowly. His eyes met mine.
"What?" He asked surprised.
"This is not just a dream. I think... our minds are connected somehow" I said uncertainly when I spotted that incredulous look on his perfect face.
"Connected? You do realise how ludicrous you sound right?" He said barking out a laugh.
"I'm not joking Draco. No dream can be this vivid and realistic. I remember every single thing what happened after I wake up" I reasoned.
"You mean it's your dream?" He asked arching his eyebrow.
"Isn't it?" I asked carefully.
"It is my dream," He said slowly backing away.
"Another reason as to why this is real. It is our dream. We are in this together. We are dreaming of the same thing" I cried.
"This is sheer insanity. I don't believe this!" He snapped.
"Come on Malfoy! I have been sporting those love bites you put on me yesterday! Covering those things up with glamour charms!" I shouted. He grinned like a lunatic.
"Really? I would like to see them" he said scooting closer and I pushed him away in disgust.
"I am trying to be serious here!" I said exasperatedly.
"Okay! But, Granger, I am just dreaming this. That's it. Under the spell or not, You won't come near me. It is Theo you are attracted to, all right. I am just dreaming this all up" He said.
"For someone as intelligent as you, You can be exceptionally thick," I said glaring at him.
"Did you just call me intelligent?" He said wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.
"Give it a rest. We don't want to inflate your already inflated ego" I snapped.
"You wound me, Granger," He said, lamenting like a drama queen. I laughed. He is just so insane at times. Then it returned to me. The person I am seeing is not him. It's the spell. He thinks it's his dream. That's why he is acting all strange. He needs to see it for real. I have to make him believe in real life. It's pointless to even if I put up an argument here, except that he might just wish to end the dream altogether and put me out of my misery. That won't help me in long term. If what he said he actually true, then I might just need to talk to him about my tour in the restricted section. But how?
"Malfoy?" I asked as the idea struck me. He was busy twirling a strand of my hair between his fingers.
"Hm?" He asked absentmindedly.
"What are you doing tomorrow evening?" I asked. He stopped playing with my hair and looked up to meet my gaze.
"Why Granger? Planning to take me on a date?" He asked smirking. I rolled my eyes heavenward.
"Malfoy," I said sternly.
"Fine" He huffed. "I will be doing nothing like always and stay holed up in my room." He said nonchalantly.
"You are not helping in the repair works?" I asked.
"No. Fortunately. I have been exempted from the labour since everyone seems to jump at the sight of me and also everyone thinks I might add some extensions to the castle" He said dryly.
"Extensions? To Hogwarts? You? I doubt even Professor McGonagall can do that. Professor Dumbledore might have. But we can't. Honestly, has no one read Hogwarts a History" I said.
"Apparently." He said raising his eyebrows. "Probably they decided not to since you already recite the book to everyone whenever you get the chance?" He said flippantly rolling his eyes. I narrowed my eyes at him and threw the pillow at him. He had the nerve to laugh.
"What? You do that don't you?" He said chuckling. Hearing him actually laugh and not snicker was strange. It was probably the way his entire features seemed to change when he did that or just him, I was enthralled every single time. I couldn't take my eyes off him.
"What Granger? Cat got your tongue?" He teased smirking. I looked at him curiously.
"That... was very Muggle of you Malfoy," I said donning a teasing smile. He looked alarmed. Well, that was suspicious.
"Bloody Muggle studies classes. These bastards are converting me!" He growled.
"You say like it's something bad" I replied.
"Yes. These people will die of shock if Draco Malfoy does something out of character. Like saying muggle phrases. They will send me to St. Mungo's or they will go there themselves" He said barking out a laugh. No one really believes he can change? Come to think of it ... They might be right... No. Malfoy is changing, spell or no spell. There are subtle changes in his demeanour. Something must have happened. I am sure of it.
"Since when do you care about what others think? The Malfoy I knew will never get down that high horse and care what others think" I commented.
"Appearances matter Granger. At least in my case, They really do" He said with a wry smile.
"Is it why you are spending all your time in your room?" I asked.
"People are boring Granger. All they do is point out at me and remind me of what I have done like I don't know it already. The only time I actually go out is when I set out to hunt you and drive you insane" He said.
"Why me?" I actually whined. He picks on me every time.
"Because you have interesting reactions," He said and quickly added noticing my menacing glare. "The spell isn't helping me either"
"You sly snake" I mumbled. As if on cue he gave a sly wink.
"In your room tomorrow eh?" I asked. He inclined his head in acknowledgement.
"Hmm... What's your password?" I asked. He stiffened noticeably.
"Why?" He asked. I could see the changes in his face. He was putting his walls up. He was sensing danger. His eyes searched my face with caution, then the room, like this was some ploy to mess with him.
"To show you something," I said watching him closely. He was alert, noticing everything about me. When he didn't respond, I said. "Malfoy, trust me, I am not trying to kill you or something. You can count on me. Give me your password. I will stop by your room tomorrow. If I do .. or even if I don't, you can change it." I assured him. He didn't seem to buy it.
"How do I know this isn't some trick?" He said coldly.
"Take the chance and see for yourself tomorrow" I replied crossing my arms over my chest.
"If something goes wrong, I will find whoever you are, who is messing with my head and kill you for real" He warned.
"Very well," I said with a curt nod. He gazed at me for a long time before relenting. He mumbled something I didn't understand.
"Sorry," I asked.
"Cassiopeia," He said locking his eyes with mine. I stopped breathing at once. I .. I felt strange. It was an odd reaction. Like I experienced this before. It was like I was soaring. I felt exhilarated.
And I didn't know why.
"Isn't that a constellation?" I breathed out with difficulty. Keep it cool Hermione. Don't show him that you are a lunatic. I thought as the voices came back with vengeance. My head was pounding.
"It is," He said quietly.
"Why did you choose that?" I asked, staring at him. What is happening to me? My vision was blurring and I was quite literally seeing stars. Darkness was clouding me. It was difficult to breathe suddenly. I felt this before. When?
He parted his lips, contemplating to say something.
Before he could, I woke up in my bed sweating. I scrambled out of my bed and walked to the bathroom. I stared at my reflection shedding all the charms and took a step back. I was deathly pale and looked like I had seen a ghost. There were dark circles under my eyes and several purplish bruises on my neck.
It wasn't that which shocked me. It was the tears that were streaming down my face after what felt like months. The voices, the paranoia, the confusion was driving me to insanity. But why was I feeling pain? Like I lost something profound. I was choking me with overwhelming grief. It was nothing I understood or felt before. I sank down on the floor unable to think anything and lost conscious.
9th September 1998, Wednesday, 5:02 A.M, New Castle, Hogwarts.
I woke up to Crooks licking my face. I sat up groggily taking in my surroundings as yesterday's events crashed upon me. I was still on my bathroom floor and thank Merlin, the voices had left me alone. Nothing was making sense. Not anymore. Everything I felt till now, had something to do with the war. Yesterday, it was something else. What was that even about?
It haunted my thoughts the entire day. Something wasn't adding up. What does a constellation have to do with this? How can it be a trigger? There are very few things which can drain me and bring the voices back. Like darkness and memories. Why a constellation? I spent my free time trying to see if I had the same reaction with all constellations. Nothing at all. It felt like I had gone through them recently. I might have. My father and I did like to gaze at the sky and he had many books on it. A few names held my interest like never before. But, they didn't make the voices split my head into two. Not like Cassiopeia did.
I was in the library trying to hide from Ginny and find something useful about the spell. Whatever Malfoy did, My hair was back to normal and people gave me curious looks yet again. And it was bugging me. No wonder Harry hates being the centre of attraction. The gossips never end. And thanks to that Samson woman, Neville was being targeted as well. I didn't get a chance to ask him about his Herbology partner he was ranting about. Fat chance, It's probably someone from the Slytherin bunch.
There were cat calls every time I walked past a group. Someone had the audacity to call me Mrs Longbottom. I glared at him. I was walking past a few Slytherins, trying hard to keep my anger in check when they yelled. Whore. I whirled around and marched right to them.
"You filthy ..." I started whipping out my wand.
"Little bastards," A voice said and those Slytherins were pinned against the wall, their feet dangling. They were trying too hard to free themselves and shouting profanities. I knew who did that. I was hit by the spell myself.
"LET US GO MALFOY" One of the boys yelled out, straining against the magic. He just stood there leaning against one of the statues examining me. I stared at those people and him. Merlin, he was powerful. He was holding all these people captive with no effort at all. Wand less Magic on top of that. I had a good reason to believe what he said earlier. I was trained by the best.
"Don't you have any other job to do than to pick on people and gossip like witches?" He asked sounding bored. The boy, probably of 5th year, laughed out sarcastically.
"Standing up for your Whore now are we?" He asked. I saw fire flash in Malfoy's Stormy grey orbs.
"You don't want to mess with me" Malfoy warned.
"We all know, all you can do is make empty threats" Another shouted. I saw Malfoy's arm twitching contemplating to draw his wand out and hex them.
"Go on. We would love to see your coward ass kicked out" They sneered. I looked at him to find him clenching his jaw shut. He will get expelled for this for sure. Besides, I can handle these fools myself. I placed my hand on his shoulder and he jumped like I had burnt him. Didn't he kiss me yesterday?
"Relax. It's them who should be afraid right now" I murmured.
"What do you mean?" He asked.
"Release them" I replied. He stared at me for a moment before letting them fall to the ground with a resounding thud.
"YOU!" That annoying jerk called out barrelling towards us, hurling hexes at us. This time I didn't hesitate at all. Neither did Malfoy. We both shielding against the attack and dodged almost every spell. Until I missed one aimed at me.
"Out of the way Granger" Malfoy shouted shoving me towards the side. I would have mistaken it for an ordinary curse until I heard Malfoy's cry in pain. His crisp Oxford was soaking with blood near his abdomen. Terror gripped me. I felt like the world was collapsing, as he leaned against the wall. He was doubling in pain and I stood there not able to think of anything else. Anger boiled up in me. The spell... The rational part of me was saying. The curse had me undone. I felt nothing but blazing fury.
They were grinning in victory when I seized the opportunity and sent a full body bind jinx towards them. They were twitching on the floor as I casted repeated stinging hexes on them. I walked up to them anger clouding my sense of judgement.
"I guess this will teach you to keep your mouths shut. Or else I will be forced to report this to the headmistress. This was no unprovoked attack. Whatever you had planned to hit me was no normal magic was it?" I questioned as his face paled. "Stay out of my way," I said and casted a bat bogey hex on them, releasing the hold on them. I knew it will just provoke them to attack me later, But I had to do it. How .. How dare they hit him?
"Malfoy... Are you okay?" I asked rushing to him. He was there clutching his wound. He nodded closing his eyes.
"Get lost Granger" He murmured angrily. And it finally snapped me. The spell had its moment and now my head was starting to clear. Such a bastard. I was here, breaking all the school rules because of him and that stupid spell and he was being an ungrateful bastard.
"You are just so mercurial. Not to mention pathetic. Suit yourself" I snapped and got up to leave. "And next time you try to do something chivalrous, make sure it doesn't involve saving me. I can fight my battles Malfoy. Get a grip" I said coldly and left without another word.
9th September 1998, Wednesday, 4:22 P.M, Library, Hogwarts.
Now in the Library, I was cursing the bane of my existence for putting me in this very situation where I can't decide whether to kiss him or kill him. I was scribbling away on a piece of parchment my Arithmancy essay which was due next month mumbling about that slimy git. He kissed me yesterday! KISSED ME and had the audacity to snap at me. What does he even think of himself? Stupid Malfoy. He was such an arrogant jerk with nothing but an ego that reaches astronomical heights. Why was I even thinking about him? This homework was exciting and very challenging. Just like I prefer it. I should be enjoying this. If I could snap that ferret's neck, it would be much better. I could tie him to a wall post or something ..flat and ...
"Well Granger, You look like you are plotting a murder. Someone is going to die a very painful death eh?" A voice said and I jumped knocking my ink pot off. I cursed when it rolled down splattering ink all over the library's floor. Casting a quick scourgify, I prayed all the gods I knew to not to let Madam Pince know about this.
"The nest is back again?" He commented and I straightened up.
"Nott," I said acknowledging the handsome brunette before me and again cursing Malfoy for letting me know of Nott's little fascination with me. Though I know it's all a farce. He won't like me in a hundred life times.
"Granger," He said smirking and inclining his head.
"What brings you here?" I asked scanning the library for any trace of a blond mop. Thank heavens it wasn't there. But, I saw Zabini lurking in one of the corners, stealing glances at us every other minute.
"You look ready to run you know? Relax Granger. I don't bite" He said smirking yet again.
"I'm not running away. I am just weighing my options for a quick escape" I said distractedly as I watched Luna appear out of nowhere.
Zabini noticed that I caught him looking at us. He quickly looked away and busied himself with searching for a book in one of the shelves.
"So soon? I haven't even started yet" He said. I turned my attention to him.
"Started what?" I asked narrowing my eyes.
"Talking" He replied. Out of the corner of my eye, I caught the sight of a blonde. I craned my neck for a better view. Luna. She slowly sneaked up on Zabini, who was engrossed in some book. I hid a chuckle as Luna greeted him with the eerie little tune she hums. Zabini jumped and looked like Luna had scared the living daylights out of him.
"So, Granger what do you say?" Nott asked pulling me back to our conversation.
"I'm sorry, What?" I asked stupidly. Nott smiled shaking his head. Merlin's beard! What's up with these people? Why are they smiling instead of sneering all of a sudden?
"You didn't hear a word I said, Did you?" He asked, with that gorgeous smile still on his face.
"Um. No sorry" I mumbled embarrassed.
"The thing is Granger, I was actually wondering if you could help me with something," He said running a hand through his hair.
"What is it?" I asked curiously. My help? For what?
"You see, I haven't been doing too well in Arithmancy," He said slowly. I frowned. Didn't Professor Vector praise him last week for his essay?
"Arithmancy? You are good at it. I have seen it myself" I said looking at him curiously. It was true, He was my partner on several occasions over the years.
"I was. Now I am not even able to do a simple task set by Professor Vector. I really need some help. You I won't approach you if I didn't need it desperately." He said.
"I know .. But." I started.
"My grades are dropping Granger. If this continues, I cannot fulfil the requirements for my dream job. I know it all sounds horribly cliché, But it is true. I'm desperate Granger. I will do anything if you help me" He requested.
"But, You can always ask someone else..Why me?" I asked looking around for a way out. I had no problem helping him out. I doubt he will make me do his work like Harry and Ron did. But, What about Malfoy then?
"Really...Granger? Is there anyone better than you at Hogwarts?" He asked raising an eyebrow.
"I don't understand this. There are many who are better at Arithmancy. Like .. Like Malfoy!" I said wincing at once.
"Granger? Are you okay?" He asked suddenly. I stared at him dumbfounded.
"Why?" I asked.
"Because Draco hasn't attended a single Arithmancy class since the start of the year," He said searching my face for any recollection. Hadn't he? I thought I had seen him. I even remember him solving a few difficult problems. What the hell? He had been my partner once last week. I had even helped him. My God. That didn't happen?
"I .. I am fine. It might have slipped out of my mind." I muttered. What is going on? I swear I had helped him. He didn't talk much though. I remember trying hard to keep my eyes off him. I ended up gazing at him the entire time.
"Are you sure?" He asked sounding really concerned. He must be thinking I am some sort of nutcase. Merlin. What is happening to me? Is it all PTSD or something else is going on?
"Yes. I am good" I said sitting up straight and smiling at him. He frowned. Who am I fooling? Nott is no dunderhead. "Nott, I really don't think I can spare some time to you. I already accepted tutoring someone else" I replied. Yes, I was bargained to tutor that ferret and it's highly unlikely he shows up and if he does its highly unlikely that we won't end up in bed doing things we shouldn't be doing .. MERLIN. I really need to stop thinking.
"A little time?" He asked. Damn these persuasive snakes. I was actually weighing the pros and cons. I have a lot on my plate right now. Malfoy, the spell and well, my condition. And Nott didn't seem much trouble. Ginny won't shout at me for helping him. Harry knows better than to cross Ginny and Ron, He can do anything he wants to. And this is my choice, I really don't care what they think. I sighed. No one really approaches me for help cause I make them do all the work and only 'help'. Nott really seems to need it to approach me. A muggle born and a Gryffindor. He has been acting all kinds of strange since the start of the year.
"I .. I need to ask Professor Vector for his opinion," I said frowning. Something is going on with Nott. Is it a prank? If it is ...
"I promise Granger," He said leaning over the table clasping my hands in his. I stopped breathing. Oh my god. He stared at me with a wonderful smile gracing his features. "I won't cause any havoc" He murmured. I stared unable to say anything. He seems taken with .. me?
"Nott.," I said breathless hiding my internal battle. I should be walking away. The voices seemed to return.
"Granger," He said with the same intensity.
"WHAT THE FUCK!" We heard a loud screech and jumped from our seats. My eye balls almost fell out of my sockets when I saw it.
"Is ... Are those Luna and Zabini? WHAT .. What on earth is she doing to his pants?" I stammered.
"I swear Zabini is a nuisance" Nott muttered with a string of curses and rushed to them.
"THEO! This .. this .. THIS GIRL!" Zabini screeched pointing a finger at Luna who was searching for something over our heads. Probably Nargles.
"What happened?" Theo asked exasperated stealing glances at Luna. "Lovegood... Is there something above my head?" He asked. I put my hand on his shoulder and shook my head at him. It's no good.
"Oh! There are Nargles above your head." She replied mystically.
"Nargles?" He asked seemingly confused as Zabini still watched Luna horrified shaking his finger at her.
"Nargles. They infest Mistletoes. Though some are above our heads. Right there!" She said and jumped at Zabini who flattened himself against the book shelf with a look of absolute terror on his face. She jumped up to catch the 'Nargle' in her hands and slowly approached Nott. Zabini was mouthing run to him. He just stood there looking beyond surprised.
"Here is it. A Nargle" She said tonelessly to him showing her empty palm. Or with a Nargle.
"Uh. Yeah. Nargle" He said nodding uncertainly at her and looking at me.
"Luna? Are you okay? What happened?" I asked. "Why .. Why were you shouting?" I asked eyeing Zabini. Nah. He wouldn't have done anything. He seems scared beyond his wits.
"I wasn't shouting. It was him" She said nodding at Zabini and staring at her palm.
"Blaise" Nott said slowly. "Explain" He demanded. Zabini never took his eyes off Luna. What did the girl do to him?
"She came .. from somewhere and started humming some weird song. Then.." He said gulping.
"Zabini" Nott warned.
"Then she asked me to search for some book on .. Heliopaths." He said looking at us in desperation. "I was searching for the book .. when .. when..." He muttered looking thoroughly disgruntled.
"When?" I prompted.
"When .. When she slapped my butt!" He muttered looking mortified. That was something coming from Blaise Zabini the extraordinaire. If even half of the rumours were true ... He must have bedded half the girls at Hogwarts. Luna probably belonged to the other half never meant to touch.
"Wh.. Why?" Nott spluttered looking at Luna who finally turned her attention to us.
"There were Nargles," She said dreamily. She has probably gotten rid of .. that Nargle.
"There were .." Nott said incredulously.
"Nargles" I supplied with my eyebrows touching my hairline in shock.
"NEAR MY BUTT?" Zabini screeched again. Luna nodded earnestly. Nott and I looked at each other and promptly burst into fits of laughter.
"HOLY SALAZAR" Nott cried clutching his stomach and supporting himself against the book shelf.
"Zabini has Nargles," I said laughing uncontrollably. "Near his butt" I finished and we doubled over in laughter. I caught Nott to steady myself. Dear Merlin. No wonder he was this frustrated.
"Stop it you two! This girl is crazy!" He yelled. And I wiped off the tears from my eyes. Holy Merlin. Luna bristled but didn't seem to mind.
"Hermione. The wrackspurts aren't around you anymore" She said. And we fell silent.
"I .. I suppose it's a good thing" I mumbled.
"It is a good thing. I got to know of another good thing today" She said humming her tune again.
"What?" We asked simultaneously when we noticed her looking at Zabini. Oh-oh.
"Blaise has a very fine ass," She said with a smile and monotonous note. Like she was announcing her next class. Then she walked up to Zabini. I swear, He couldn't be more shocked.
"See you, Blaise," She said to a statue like Zabini and .. Merlin's Pants!
She pinched his behind and left bouncing on her feet leaving us stumped. A few moments passed before Nott and I again collapsed laughing.
"It's not funny" He muttered staring after Luna's retreating figure.
"WHAT THE DEVIL IS GOING ON HERE?" Madam Pince said barrelling towards us. Shit. I thought and Nott cursed.
"You two. Out of my Library. Now" She punctuated every word with a glare. Then her focus shifted to me and her gaze softened.
"Miss Granger?" She said sounding surprised.
"They are with me Madam Pince. I am sorry for all the ruckus. I promise nothing will happen again. Zabini saw a spider that's it. He was scared" I said quickly. Nott snorted. Zabini whispered harshly in my ear.
"I am not your Weasel Boy Granger"
"Shut up. I am saving your .. ass" I said. Nott turned a laugh into a cough which progressed to become hysterical fits.
"And Mr Zabini.. Where is that spider now?" Madam Pince asked with hands on her hips eyeing Nott angrily.
"I hit it with this book," He said without missing a beat. He did miss the look of horror that passed over Madam Pince's face and the wince on mine. It doesn't look he had been in the library before.
"WHAT?" Madam Pince shrieked then looked around and whispered heatedly. "What?"
"What he meant was, he wanted to hit it with a book but it got away" Nott supplied. "Didn't you Blaise?" Nott asked elbowing his friend hard. He yelped.
"YES! Yes.. It got away" He mumbled rubbing his sides and scowling at Nott.
"Mr Zabini," She said taking steps towards Zabini clearly itching to hex him.
"Madam Pince... Please, They won't cause any trouble. I will make sure of that" I said jumping in between.
"Miss Granger, I really hope you are not doing just to save these befouled brats. One more sound and I might have to cut short your time here as well." She warned and I winced.
"Yes. Madam Pince" I said.
"Very well." She nodded displeased. "YOU! Stay away from my books" She said glaring at Zabini who gave her a bored nod. She went away, disappearing into the book stacks like usual.
"Where was that bravery when Luna .. er.. slapped your butt?" I asked. Nott, who did a good job controlling his laughter, burst out laughing.
"Shush! She will come back!" I said covering his mouth with my palm and looking around for Madam Pince. She has an annoying capability to jump on people when she wasn't remotely expected.
"Blaise. I was wondering where you disappeared. But here are you. Associating with scum" Malfoy said sneaking up behind us. I jumped away from Nott in utter astonishment.
"Draco. What are you doing here?" Nott asked surprised. I had to keep myself from running when I saw the icy depths of his eyes and the fury marring his features.
"I could ask the same thing Nott" He replied coolly. He was angry as hell and was doing an excellent job covering it.
"I came here to talk to Granger" Nott replied calmly noticing Malfoy's terrible mood. Who stepped on his tail now?
"Is it? And may I ask why you plan to shag this mud blood? You seem pretty close" He said crossing his arms over his chest. Like it wasn't just hours ago he said blood didn't matter. Like it was just a dream after all.
"Draco!" Nott said sharply but Malfoy didn't take his eyes off me. I stared back angrily. I was itching to hex his bollocks off.
"I should be leaving," I said stonily and turned to Nott. "I will talk to Professor Vector and get back to you," I said with a curt nod and went to grab my things from the table.
"Granger!" He called out but was silenced by an angry growl by Malfoy.
"WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM DRACO?" Nott asked Malfoy furiously.
"What is your problem? What are you doing here with her?" He asked with a disgusting sneer.
"Draco," Theo said taking a warning step towards Malfoy. Zabini jumped in between and stopped them.
"Guys Guys. Stop it. You are making a scene" Zabini said slowly.
"SO what?" Malfoy asked bored.
"I don't get it! Why do you always do this to me? Where is Astoria? Why don't you find her and drag her somewhere to shag like always?" Nott snarled and my insides dropped. I felt sick. I had to leave. Right now. The lights in the Library started to flicker and it started raining outside.
"So that you can shag this disgusting mud blood?" Malfoy sneered.
"STOP," Zabini said harshly. "Better stop right now or someone else will report you both." Zabini reasoned.
"No one cares" Malfoy replied.
"Draco, nothing is going on. Nott wanted to have a look at some book and I tagged along. She and her crazy friend just came in the way that's it." Zabini said. Crazy friend?
I was about to run away when Zabini called out "Granger! Not one word out of what happened earlier" He warned.
"Don't worry Zabini. I won't tarnish my crazy's friend's reputation by telling everyone that she is associating with someone like you" I snapped and left immediately. The fury and the sinking feeling drowning all the voices around me. Silence is blissful.
I couldn't wait for the time when I find Malfoy and end this here.
9th September 1998, Wednesday, 6:34 P.M, New Castle, Hogwarts.
Professor Vector was visibly surprised to hear that Nott wasn't doing well in her subject. She was frowning when she explained that he was doing extremely well. That figures. He was just messing with me. I thanked her set off to my room. These Slytherins are targeting me. Well, I am the only one in the Golden Trio in their sights, they can't help but torture Potter's Mudblood. I hate that name anyway.
I sat in my arm chair thinking about what to tell Malfoy. Every time I think of him, I felt bitter. I don't want this. I don't want to want him. I don't want to spend the rest of my time torn between hexing him and lusting after him. I promised myself, I will not let him near me and maintain this strictly professional. If needed, I will tie myself down or something. I needed to explain this to him with a clear head.
But what about the dreams? How can he act like I am all he cares about in dreams and curse me in real life? I decided not to dwell too much on those dreams. They are nothing but a means to woo me. Are they? A part of me whispered. I closed my eyes in dismay.
"Your blood is not filthy," He said.
"You have no idea How long I had been dreaming of this" He whispered kissing my palm
"It took me all I had not to kiss you today" He murmured
"Don't say that word." He said sharply
The voices returned. I breathed out sharply as memories invaded my head. It was him, him everywhere. His kisses, his smell, his touch. Everything enough for me. Everything enough to destroy me.
"Hermione?" He asked in a voice that acted like a salve. It was the very first time, I heard him call me by my given name.
"You are back," He said jubilantly.
"I .. I shouldn't have done that. Came to tell...Hmm..I scared you off... Couldn't hold back... Reminded me ..." He mumbled
"I am not them. They are my family. I can't change who they are" He said. I looked at him.
"You can change who you are," I said staring at his face.
"That, I can try," He said wrapping his arms around me
I sank to the floor writhing in pain. It was like I was reliving each of them again. Hard to stop even harder to let go. My head was pounding and I was biting my tongue to keep myself from screaming when I thought my head will split into two.
"I like your rat's nest the way it is. It's all part of your charm. You look beautiful the way you are. " He said
"Like you always smell" He replied.
"Lilies. You smell like Lilies " He said quietly.
"Cassiopeia," He said locking his eyes with mine.
I couldn't hold back the scream that was threatening to escape. It was a bloodcurdling scream that had me heaving and my throat parched. I wasn't able to see anything. He was all I was thinking about. Things I needed to tell him. How to set us free. The stars. I could see them everywhere. I could see him. Laughing, pointing upwards at the sky. I felt my own lips curve up in a smile. Then, it was all light.
"Hermione! Hold ON!" I heard a harsh whisper. I saw the corridors of the castle and it felt like I was on a roller-coaster. I was in someone's arms. I saw red hair from the corner of my eye. Ginny?
"Neville! Hurry up!" She cried as I started to heave for breath. It was too much. I wanted to cry, I didn't know why. Draco laughing was the only thing that was replaying in my mind. I wanted to go to him. To the safety of his arms. This was killing me. I needed him like I needed air. The voices were sinking their talons into my sanity. I felt the darkness consume me.
"Hermione?" Neville called out laying me down on the hospital bed as Madam Pomfrey rushed over to me.
"What happened to her?" Madam Pomfrey asked looking horrified.
"We .. we heard her screams and found her on the floor of her room," Ginny said sounding close to tears.
"She has cuts all over her" A voice, I assumed Neville said with a gasp.
"Quick get me that vial over there!" Madam Pomfrey instructed and I heard the faint rustling of feet. The second that liquid touched me, I started screaming at the top of my voice. It was liquid fire spreading through my veins.
"HERMIONE!" Ginny's cries were drowned in my screams. I lost conscious.
I woke up to see Ginny looming over me. Her worried expression turned into relief as soon as she saw my eyes open groggily.
"She is up! Tell everyone!" She cried out and rushed to hold my hand. I winced.
"Sorry" She whispered. I nodded and gave her a smile.
"How long was I out?" I asked weakly.
"A couple of hours" She replied. I winced. I had to talk to Malfoy!
"What happened?" She asked. Should I tell her the truth? Should I tell her everything? Her blue eyes were moist and red rimmed. She had been crying.
"Was I that bad?" I asked. She just hung her head.
"See for yourself," She said showed me my arms. They were all bandaged. The cuts had reopened. It wasn't unusual. It happened before when it was particularly difficult to hold on. It hasn't happened to me for a while now. All my wounds were self-inflicted. None magical. Ginny noticed my lack of surprise.
"It has happened before?" She demanded. Her anger scared me. What if they didn't accept my condition?
"I anticipated it would happen. It was a spell... I had read about while we were on run, I never summoned up the courage to try it .." I lied, closing my eyes so that she won't see my internal turmoil. I was lying to my best friends just to stay out of an Asylum.
"HERMIONE? YOU DO REALISE HOW STUPID THAT WAS?" She screamed at me and I winced. I couldn't get a word out of my mouth to retaliate. It was all a lie. I don't want to lie.
"I ... I was .. mistaken" I mumbled. No one will buy it. But Ginny stopped yelling and looked at me.
"Mione," She said softly. "I was so scared. You were lying there in a pool of blood, You are my best friend Mione... I .. I thought I had lost you" She said fighting back sobs.
"Ginny," I said trying to console her.
"You are supposed to be the wise one," She said hiccuping as I threw my arm around her. "You don't do mistakes!" She cried.
"Ginny, I am just a human after all. I promise nothing like this will ever happen again. Believe me... I am sorry for worrying you and others." I whispered. She nodded wiping her tears away.
"Who knows about this?" I asked.
"The entire school of course" She replied and my stomach dropped. No .. NO... They will send me away...
"Professor McGonagall didn't let the details go out. Everyone thinks you slipped and fell. I know it's lame. It was the best thing Neville could come up with." She said and my spirits rocketed.
"Have you told Harry and Ron?" I asked. She shook her head.
"I was about to when you woke up," She said apologetically.
"Don't," I said firmly and she looked at me bewildered.
"What?" She asked.
"Don't tell them anything," I said meeting her eye.
"What do you mean don't tell them anything?" She demanded.
"They don't need to know this Ginny," I said looking away.
"What? They are your best friends Hermione since you were eleven for Merlin's sake! They deserve to know" She argued.
"Don't you think I know that?" I snapped. Ginny placed her hands on her hips.
"I don't know what is going on with you Hermione. You are behaving out of sorts since months and Yes, we are not dumb. We all noticed you aren't comfortable with telling us. So, we let you be. Now you are hiding things and distancing yourself. Suddenly, the Slytherins hold your interest. I want the truth Hermione" She said with her eyes blazing. I fought the urge to tell her everything. Tell what I have been hiding since the end of the war. I can't. I can't do this.
I don't want to be sent away. I don't want to be termed insane. I can handle this. Just a little time. I need a little more time. I will improve my condition.
"I don't want to burden you people" I murmured.
"Burden?" She asked sceptically.
"The war has just ended Ginny. Harry has just found some peace. Ron is happy with the attention he gets. All are finally happy. I don't want to ruin this for anyone. If anyone deserves some happiness and joy it's you people" I said passionately. I had to tell the truth. At least half of it. I don't want them to worry about me. I don't want Harry or Ron watch me when I sleep so that I don't scream like they did in Grimmauld place. I want to keep them happy and content.
"You deserve the joy too, Hermione. We love you. We don't want you to suffer alone" She said sighing.
"Do this for me, Ginny. I trust you. Harry and Ron don't deserve this. I swear, I will take care of myself. I will even get a Shag buddy or something as you advised." I promised. She cracked a smile.
"I still can't believe you want to hide this from them. I will keep my mouth sealed and make sure Neville does it too. However, I will tell them you fell." She saw my expression and glared. "YOU ALMOST GOT KILLED! YOU NEED SOME ATTENTION MIONE!" She shouted at me and thankfully Madam Pomfrey who was talking to Professor McGonagall, came in and dragged a protesting Ginny away. I laughed at her and promised to take care of myself. She sighed and promised to return the first thing tomorrow.
Madam Pomfrey fussed around me and when I told her about the spell, She was positively freaked out. She demanded to know the spell, I said that the mere incantation is powerful and I can't spell it. She didn't buy it. I launched into some made-up-story to convince her when Professor McGonagall entered. My voice died a silent death. She will figure that out. But Professor surprisingly didn't ask me any questions. She said that Ginny had told her about my unwillingness to share the details and said that she hoped I would be careful with spells later on.
I blinked for a few times before nodding mutely. What on earth Ginny do to convince Professor McGonagall? She wasn't even here when Professor came. When did she meet her? Madam Pomfrey insisted to know the details but Professor refused. She said it was my decision after all. I was confused.
What does Professor McGonagall know that I don't?
Madam Pomfrey insisted I stay in the Hospital for a few days. When I refused, Professor McGonagall asked her to let me go. Madam Pomfrey put her foot down and out right dismissed Professor McGonagall and said something along the lines of this is my wing and I will decide what happens to my patients. Professor sighed and relented. After some tireless arguments, she said she will let me go in a day or two after the wounds heal and my blood is replenished. Muttering under her breath Madam Pomfrey left to get me some potion.
"Miss Granger?" Professor McGonagall said softly.
"Yes Professor?" I asked surprised at her tone.
"I know there are things that are bothering you," She said and cut me off when I started to protest. "You can't fool me, Miss Granger. All I want to tell you, is even the strongest of the people need some love and support." She said. I stared at her almost gaping. Professor McGonagall sounded like...
"I know, I sound like Albus. But he is right you know. Love can heal even the deepest scars" She said softly. "In here," She said placing a hand on her heart. "And In here," She said tapping her fore head. I watched dumbfounded as she got up.
"Now Miss Granger, I hope you recover soon enough. Just to let you know, You still have to submit that essay by the day after tomorrow. I will make arrangements to send you your homework here itself." She said sternly. I gaped openly as she walked away.
"One more thing Miss Granger," She said stopping at the door way.
"Yes?" I choked.
"Your classes with Mr Malfoy start this Monday. I suggest you talk to him about the arrangements. The access to Restricted section will be given to you after you are released from the hospital ward" She said and left me to stare at the beds in absolute bewilderment.
What in Merlin's name Happen just now?
9th September 1998, Wednesday, 11:32 P.M, Hospital Wing, Hogwarts.
Madam Pomfrey was dead to the world after 11 P.M. She was sleeping soundly in her room even after I had broken 2 vases and hid the remains. Unfortunately, I didn't have that divine gift of sleeping and woke up as soon as I heard her snores, the sleeping draught having no effect on me.
"When I die, It will be due to lack of sleep" I muttered when Madam Pomfrey snored again. The hospital wing was empty. No one has broken their limbs yet. It was just a week into this year and I feel like it's been months. Maybe it's because I am just tired. Maybe it's because I'm pissed off with snores?
I couldn't sleep well with snoring anyway. Ron snored like Hogwarts' express and Harry snored as well. I had to silence them to sleep soundly while we were on the run. The problem here was, My wand was still in my room and no one bothered to bring it to me.
The last time I was in hospital wing was during the war. There were many injured and Madam Pomfrey tended them as good as she could. A few died, The injuries were grave. Their screams still haunt me. This place brings back memories like the rest of the castle does. I wonder, will I ever be able to forget this?
I tossed and turned my bed clutching the pillow closer. I.. I was scared. The voices scare me. The nightmares scare me. And times like this remind me of the days when my parents were with me. I hated darkness since childhood. When I was afraid, I used to crawl into my parents' bed and sleep soundly. Dad always teased me for being a scaredy-cat. Mom used just ruffle my hair and say darkness is nothing. Nothing will come out and get my baby. If only she knew, the world I chose to be a part of, had darkness all along. Even if darkness is gone, Shadows follow.
I miss them. I miss them so much. I miss my mom's incessant nagging. My dad's nonsensical lullaby when he tries to put me to sleep after a bad dream... Their smiles, their happiness when they see me. It chokes me every time when I think of what I did to them. I just erased their memories and wiped off the life they built with a single flick of my wand. They might never forgive me. Will I be able to survive that? They are my everything after all. I love them too much to let go. Maybe loving is letting go?
Maybe it is. I thought as a single tear slid down my cheek much to my surprise. I had started crying again. I broke down into painful sobs as the reality crashed in. I might lose what I treasure forever. The guilt was consuming me. What have I done? What am I even doing?
"Granger" I heard his soft voice and stopped crying, to lift my head. The sobs turned to hiccups when I met his grey eyes shining.
"Malfoy?" I asked bewildered, my voice sounding hoarse.
"You have been crying" He stated, searching my face and kneeling down beside the bed.
"What are you doing here?" I demanded. He sighed pinching the bridge of his nose.
"Scoot over," He said suddenly and got up. I scrambled to pull the sheets up to cover myself. The nightgown Ginny brought isn't what I prefer generally. It barely reached my knees.
"Malfoy!" I yelped, as he slipped beneath the covers beside me.
"What?" He asked.
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" I screeched. He rolled his eyes and cast a silencing charm around us.
"Why are you crying?" He asked me with wide eyes, the moonlight illuminating his already flawless features. I couldn't get a word out. Merlin, He was beautiful.
"Granger?" He pressed. What can I say? That I miss my Mum and dad or that I am suffering from something I don't even start to understand or I am crying because I don't know what to make of him or Why does this doesn't feel strange? Why doesn't his touch seem foreign?
I closed my eyes and shook my head as the sobs wracked me.
"Hermione" He breathed out before gathering me in his arms. I stopped thinking. It was nothing but agony that erased everything when I clung to him for dear life. He didn't complain as I ruined his shirt. He didn't complain when I held him tighter than necessary. He gently smoothed down my hair and mumbled sweet nothings in my ear. Just to console me.
I felt lighter as the pain faded. The terrible sorrow and frustration that had me chained finally released me. He pressed his lips to my forehead when I had finally stopped crying. I lifted my head to see him staring down at me. There was something odd about that expression. Like he was just ready to burst. Like he was hiding his pain.
His hands framed my face. I felt safer than I was in the last few months. But why? He was on the enemies side. He shouldn't be the one to make me feel safe. He shouldn't be the one to wipe my tears away. He shouldn't be the one whose smile sent my heart galloping away.
"You are worrying too much again." He said resting his forehead against mine.
"Why are you here Draco?" I mumbled.
"I heard that you fell," He said emphasising on the fell. I detached myself from him in an instant.
"What is this about?" I asked calmly though my heart was racing in panic.
"I want to talk to you somewhere else about this" He replied. I nodded mutely. Let him talk. Then I will let the cat out of the bag.
"Lead the way" I muttered. He stood and looked at me expectantly. The moment I stood up, My feet were jelly. I stumbled and he caught me on time before I broke my teeth or something.
"Thank you" I heaved steadying myself. The blood replenishing potions still have to weave their magic I suppose.
"Honestly Granger... Is one year without any mishap too much for you?" He asked exasperatedly.
"I didn't do ANYTHING!" I protested. "I came back this year to complete my education. And out of the blue, you appear before me and start acting all mercurial. Then we start receiving threats! I get locked up and You almost kill me. And a few days later? You kiss me like nothing matters! And again you fucking curse me! I don't understand what is wrong with YOU!" I yelled. My cheeks burned as I realised my folly. He was gazing at me with his mouth slightly ajar.
Shit! SHIT. I shouldn't be talking about that .. that... KISS! I had berated myself the entire time onto thinking it was nothing. We were just consumed by the spell .. and .. and.
"Ahh!" I cried as the ground vanished beneath my feet. He had me swooped into his arms. His amazing scent hit me again. Always this cologne and sandalwood had me reeling.
"PUT ME DOWN! I am not a toddler! I can walk" I screamed hitting against his chest. He didn't even budge.
"MALFOY! DOWN NOW!" I cried in vain. I had never been carried around since I turned 10. Not even my dad did it anymore.
"Draco" I whined in protest. I hated feeling incompetent.
"Sssh. Granger. Stay quiet for a while" He murmured placing his index finger against my lips. All my protests died. For Merlin's sake, I wanted to kiss him senseless. I nodded breathlessly. He smirked triumphantly. He casted a disillusionment charm effectively even when I was in his arms. Good Lord. I was hyperventilating as I felt his muscles flex beneath. I had seen him shirtless in my dreams. The vision of those washboard abs and that scandalous v line made me as horny as hell.
I cursed under my breath for my over active imagination. He didn't seem to mind as I fidgeted in his arms, in discomfort. I could hear his heart beat as clear as day. I leaned into him and rested my head against his chest. It felt so good. So warm.
"Do all girls get this special treatment or is it just me?" I whispered scowling. He smirked. I knew that he would.
"Jealous Granger?" He asked.
"Curious. To take my mind off things" I replied as the cool breeze tickled me.
"Have you seen me carrying girls around?" He asked.
"Not when you are invisible" I reminded.
"Always the smart ass," He said chuckling softly as his entire chest rumbled against me. Holy Merlin.
Then he didn't speak a word. I didn't press for more. We were comfortable in the silence. We had a lot to talk later.
He was standing in front of his room looking at me. I was still in his arms and he made no more to release me. The charm had worn off and we were standing out in open.
"Malfoy?" I questioned.
"Hm?" He replied.
"You aren't going to carry me over the threshold are you?" I snapped. "PUT ME DOWN!"
"Your hair spikes up like a kneazle when you are angry" He commented lazily. I glared at him.
"Down," I said slowly. He just shook his head.
"YOU ANNOYING BRAT!" I cried as he swung me around laughing.
"I like annoying you!" He replied as I cried in joy? Fear? Mortification? I don't know. It was all unfamiliar.
"Malfoy!" I exclaimed as the light headedness set in.
"Who is there?" a voice asked carefully and we froze.
"Draco.." I murmured as he carefully set me on my feet
"Stay here Granger. Not a sound" He whispered with a finger against my lips. I gazed at him as he looked around like someone expecting an onslaught.
"But.." I started.
"Not a sound" He warned again and set off.
"Granger" He mumbled after walking a few feet. I met his gaze.
"It's only you," He said softly before running towards the light, Leaving me behind with emotions I didn't understand.
End Notes:
Well, Here you go. I hope you people enjoyed it. Review and make me happy. New updates soon. Just wait for me kay? As lemons soon ( as you suggested)
Love,
Alex.
- 5
- 6
You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.
Report Story

Illusions Of Reality