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Unwanted pet * Complete*	By : Kvarta Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Snape/Remus Views: 12011 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: This is a work of fan fiction. Harry Potter is owned by J.K. Rowling. This story is purely for entertainment purposes, no money is being made from it.

Chapter List
- 5
- 6
- 7
A/N: Surprisingly, this place has a good net connection, even if I’m in the highly undeveloped part of the country. Well, next chapter is here :)
@Talented_Mrs_Lupin: I'm glad, and honoured (since I like your SS/HG and SS/RL stories), that you like my story. "Sometimes its a little hard to understand but I always figure it out." - no matter how much I try I still have misspelt words. ----but for the sentence structure...this is my first ever HP story, I started it on my native language years ago, paused and then translated what was written and just finished it. I know I should have to fix sentence structure but blame it on a stupid sentimentality - I just can't bring myself to do it.
True gentleman never ‘kiss and tell’

Remus could hear Snape approaching down the corridor. He smiled and stood up from table to greet him, he made a breakthrough in their research.
However, smile erupted into belly shaking laughter the moment Snape entered the room. Snape was covered, head to toe, in lime green and pink ooze that was hissing, still bubbling, and releasing puffs of smoke.
“Wha…Merlin…I do not…”
Snape gave him one of his angry glares, marching next to him towards the bathroom. He followed still laughing.
“What happened?”
“That buffoon! If I could ”I would ban him from potions for good!”
“Who?”
“Seamus Finnegan!” squeezed Snape through clenched teeth
“What did you give them to make?”
“Nothing of this sort, and colour.” hissed Snape ”That dunderhead is capable of nothing but blowing things up. He has no skill in potion making! He is a disaster in the laboratory!” Lupin starts laughing again while blotch of ooze hissed and released another pink puff of smoke. Snape sighed ”I’ll be here for dinner soon, just need to scrub this off.”
“You know, I never met anyone who takes more baths than you do in one day.”
“You mean for a ‘greasy git’ as Weasley nicely pointed out” smirked Snape with a half-smile
“For any kind of ‘gt’ grinned Remus ”I’m waiting for you.”
~ SS ~ RL ~ SS ~ RL ~
Washing his hair for the third time Snape was still trying to calm himself down. He could not bet that all the steam in bathroom originated from hot water. Closing eyes he took a long breath, Remus was waiting for him at the dinner table. Surprised with the notion to join Remus in the room tossed bathrobe on himself and hurried to the room. No need for formalities, mutt might interpret this as the small success of his attempts and stop nagging me.
Entering into the living chamber, only now, he took notice dinner table and a set of chess on the small table in front of the fireplace. Taking a full breath of sweet sentenced air. Remus was waiting at the table.
“Stop rubbing your hair, it will become fluffy”
“It would not” grumbled
“Sit down, the meal is suitable for your pallet, I believe.”
“It is, it is my favourite…” gasped ”How did you…”
“I have my ways.” mysteriously smiled Remus
“Remus, what is this? All of this?”
“I believe that is dinner. …, Friends usually do take meals together and engage in common activities such as a game of chess. Not that this is as it should be…but I believe that we should not be picky in present situation.”
Snape gawked at Lupin. What am I supposed to do now? This was new territory for him and Snape felt uncomfortable in his skin. To hell with this mutt, what am I supposed to do?
“Well then….let’s eat.” cleared his throat
Food was good and they ate in silence. Taste of his favourite meal improved his mood. Munching down last bits from his plate, took a sip of wine, savouring the taste. They moved to the small table for a game of chess.
Later that night Snape had to admit to himself, this was a pleasant evening. He managed to relax, even enjoy in games of chess. It was a long time since Severus Snape enjoyed anything.
~ SS ~ RL ~ SS ~ RL ~
Waking up next morning, Remus smiled, reminiscing on the evening before. Severus looked relaxed, with a glimmer in his eyes and even a grin when he beat him at chess. His heart started to sing, but his soul was icy cold. Realizing that this friendship he needed as much if not more than Snape did. How long this is going to last. 6-8 months? No 6 months at most, the time has passed already. What will be after that, after their time passes? Most importantly of all, what then? Will I be able to go back to my old life? To the solitude? Will I be able to let go, and be alone again?
He sighed, jumping out of the bed. Snape’ calm voice reached him from armchair
“We do have to work on that idiocy of an assignment if we are to appear at the staff meeting tomorrow.”
“Do we have to? I did make some breakthrough last night.”
“You will show me, and … yes, we do have to.”
“There is no fun with you, no lazy Sunday over a game of chess?”
“No, I have no such inclinations.”
As the day progressed, Remus regained deep understanding why students disliked Snape. He was meticulous, harsh, true slave driver, but in all honesty, Snape was like that to himself as well as to the others. Lupin was surprised at first by Snape’ knowledge, but then he remembered, in school, Snape was on top through all years. He was above Ravenclaw students in grades, excelling in all subjects. What happened later as well as his rare and extraordinary aptitude for potions made people forget how smart he really was.
Of course, sole topic decided by Dumbledore was not up to the alley with either one of them, which severely influenced Snape’ mood. Remus almost bit his lip to the blood not to laugh when Snape mumbled that evening
“‘Magical ways to permanently get rid of garden gnomes’, what magical ways? Just whack them hard enough with a bloody stick, that will suffice.”
Snape gave him one of his looks, which caused Remus to erupt in laughter. Until the end of the evening, he had to face the fact that laughing at Snape is a crime with severe punishment. Snape would not say a word to him if it were not about gardening gnomes.
~ SS ~ RL ~ SS ~ RL ~
Sitting on the staff meeting, Snape was bored out of his mind; the only remotely interesting thing was that he had to explain how he gave 10 points to Hermione on Saturday due to a fact that only she had semi-decent paper. Shooting darts of poison through his eyes at widely grinning Lupin.
After the meeting was finished, staff separated into groups, this was least favourite part of the day for him, unnecessary socialization. At the beginning, he would leave the room immediately, but Dumbledore insisted on him to stay. He had to stay in the corner and look grim enough. However, today…
Today looking grim did not do him much good. He tossed one swift envious look to Madam Hooch; she was dozing off in her chair. Flitwick, on the other hand, cornered him, as it turned out Flitwick had a passion for garden gnomes. Beaming excitedly about Snape’ participation in new magical developments and blabbing about gnomes, Flitwick didn’t want to budge, even after Snape gave him only monosyllabic answers. Pretending that he listens, he tossed look around the room. Minerva and Pomona were talking to Lupin. He caught part of conversation feeling like all the hair on his body is standing straight.
“Remus is work all you do?”
“What else could it be Pomona?”
“Well a bit of romance wouldn’t hurt…” squealed Pomona ”If you don’t mind me saying so, Remus.”
“Pomona!” shrieked Minerva ”What are you babbling about?” Snape wholeheartedly agreed with Minerva choking on tea, Remus looked at him in the eye
“Why not! I’m sorry my boy but I know about you.”
“No problem Pomona, it is not a secret.”
“And anyway,” continued Pomona stubbornly ”Severus is our youngest member of staff, but he is so alone. It is not good for the boy. I don’t know if he likes men, but if he does… In addition, you Remus, you are such a gentlemen. These old walls will not do any harm to see a bit of romance.”
“Oh Pomona!, shush… poppycock …” hissed Minerva
To Snape’ horror, Remus stepped towards Pomona with a very sensitive smile and gently pushed Pomona’ chin up with his finger, looking straight in the eyes. Pomona blushed. Snape focused his attention on them, pretending still to listen to Flitwick’s babbling. He felt a chill running down his spine. What is going to do now? That fool of a mutt. Much to his dismay, even Hooch stopped snoozing and approach two women and Remus.
“Pomona, do you really think that I am gentlemen?” she nodded, blushing even harder” Why would you expect me to reveal that kind of information? As you are very well aware that true gentlemen never ‘kiss and tell’.”
Pomona’s eyes widened. Minerva stopped in an attempt to form a sentence and just stood with her mouth open, Hooch’s look darted from him to Remus and back. Snape’ mind worked fast, thinking of an excuse to meddle in and stop that nonsense before Remus had any chance to mess things up even worse.
“But, but,…” shuddered Pomona. Remus, obviously having a good time, grinned and glanced around the room.
“Severus,” called him By my name! I am going to strangle this mutt! “can you please join the conversation we need your expertise? I am so sorry Filius.”
“No problem, no problem.” sang Flitwick and with a polite greeting Snape excused himself. Forcing himself to walk slowly he approached the group.
“My expertise in potions is needed?” asked calmly
“Not in potions. Do you care to explain to these lovely ladies what are we doing in your dungeon…love.” grinned Remus even wider, emphasizing word ‘love’. Pomona squealed excitedly, Minerva was still frozen, jaw now fully open. Suppressing desire to hex Remus on the spot, he looked at him like he would look a bug on the ground and coldly turned to Minerva
“I am afraid that proper social etiquette is severely neglected in Gryffindor. I do hope that at least you Minerva doing all you can to change that. As much as it is possible, of course.” then turned to Lupin ”Professor Lupin, I was under impression that you are at least capable to explain basics of our research work, am I wrong?”
“But Severus…”
“Yes?” he raised an eyebrow Play dumb, and maybe this nightmare will be over soon.
“He, he called you love!”
“And he’s looking like he is going to kiss you Pomona.”
“But, but,…are you?” stuttered Pomona stubbornly
“Are we…what?”
“Are you a couple?” exhaled Pomona, stepping back from Remus suddenly, he raised his eyebrows giving her the coldest glare he could muster
“And how exactly is that your problem, Pomona? I do not appreciate this intrusion in my personal affairs; they do not matter of discussion among school walls. The answer to your question, Pomona: I would rather date garden gnome.”
Madam Hooch wandered back to her chair. Pomona looked him as if he had suddenly grown another head. Minerva finally managed to snap out of shock
“What got into you Pomona?!!” shrieked ”I am honestly sorry Severus, this would not repeat I can promise you that.” he nodded in her direction ”Remus, please, do take care of your behaviour, this was not a funny joke. Consider yourself warned. Come Pomona.” she dragged small witch along as she walked away, blushing. Remus was chuckling.
“Continue with this Lupin and our cooperation will encounter sudden and very unpleasant end.” growled suppressing notion to simply strangle Lupin on the spot.
“My sincere apologies professor Snape, this was supposed to be just an innocent joke.”
“Find another target to your jokes Lupin, or suffer the consequences.” sneered and turned on heel leaving. To hell with all, I am putting end to all of it. To hell with it! At this point, Azkaban IS a better option. Snape’s mind boiled. Marching down the corridor he almost did not hear the footsteps following him. Remus nearly knocked him to the ground in an attempt to stop him.
“Oh common Severus, it was a joke.” panted Remus grabbing him by the hand, Snape jerk his hand almost losing his footing again
“Back off, Lupin.” growled, ”Back off, and save yourself a hex.”
Lupin runs in front of him and stopped him from progressing. He had a silly, almost childish grin
“Oh Severus, just enjoy the joke.”
“Funny Lupin, how only people who should enjoy a joke are one that is humiliated by them. Much like some other jokes, performed by persons we both know.” hissed. Lupin’s face lose a grin, he was serious now
“I would never do that to someone I consider my friend.”
“No, I presume you would not.”
“I am not as they were”
“Spending so much time in their company must rub off on you.”
“You are not the ONLY one that could get hurt by that joke, you know. I placed myself well in the middle of it.”
“We are in a hallway Lupin, and I will not discuss that matter here.” spat and passed by Lupin, only to be shoved into one of the alcoves. Lupin was casting notice me not, mufilato and few more wards.
“We WILL discuss this, right now, Severus!” Lupin jerked his head, his eyes were burning with anger, uncontrollable anger ”I do not know what ticked you off so…”
“Tell me something Lupin, am I the only person in this school who does not know about your preferences? Did Albus just slip his mind to warn me, or … -
“Merlin Severus, don’t tell me you are prejudicial!” suddenly laughed Remus, his facial expression, his whole demeanour changed again. Snape begin to worry ”My … preferences … has nothing to do with you.”
“They bloody are! If you are to reside in my quarters.”
“Is that what ticked you off?” Lupin looked like he is going to burst in laughter ”Do not worry; you are not in any danger. You or your reputation. As for my … preferences… I am known to keep my options open.”
“Then you can go and pack your things, floo is open and you do not…”
“No, I will not! It didn’t seem to bother you, to barge in my bathroom. It was you who wanted to put a collar and a leash and chain me to the wall, was it, just a mere days ago.”
“That was another matter altogether,” grumbled Snape, Lupin was drifting to anger again
“I told you I want to be your friend, and we agreed on it. I will not move out. I will not back off.”
“I told you I do not need or seek your friendship, Lupin.”
“It is… REMUS!!!” yelled.
Before Snape realized what is about to happen, Lupin’s fist collided with his left cheek, launching him back to the wall. He raised his wand but Lupin was already storming down the corridor. He mumbled a hex, childish one, rubbing his burning cheek. What got into him, crazy mutt? He is no better than our students are! No better than our…students? POTION! I have to talk to Albus. Snape’s mind worked fast, he once more rushed through corridors, this time straight to Dumbledore’s office, and the potion had some nasty side effects.
~ SS ~ RL ~ SS ~ RL ~
Remus was sitting on the bed, pouting. His hair changing colours from brilliant pink to dark purple than orange, green, lemony yellow and back to pink again. He had to teach classes today, while students giggled looking in his hair. No matter how he tried, he could not remove the hex. Lupin even went to Flitwick, but he was not able to help either. Lupin tried to glamour it but the hex was glamour-proof.
Now he was sitting on the bed and waiting for Snape, it was his hex, he has to know how to remove it. This did not make Lupin happy, for the first time in his life, he got a taste of a very bitter medicine” he was on the receiving end of a practical joke.
Anger is building up inside him like a roaring avalanche. Snape’ footsteps are nearing and at this point, Lupin is ready to attack. The second Snape entered the room he jumped.
“Turn it back!”
“Merlin Remus! What did you do with your hair?” with horror he notices that Snape is about to start laughing. His left cheek is swollen, blue with yellowish border.
“Whatever you did, undo Snape!”
“Oh, so we are back to last names.” sneered Snape at him ”You might decide on that before you did this.” pointed at his bruised cheek
“This …this…”
“That is not my doing.” snapped back Snape ”I can remove hiccup if you want.”
“You are cause of hiccup too?”
“Only that. Hit anyone else lately Lupin? I suggest you look for him on and apologize.”
“No, I wasn’t.”
“Then say thank you to Weasley twins from me.”
“I WANT THIS OFF!!!”
“Not so fond of jokes now, are we? What did you tell me today?” Just enjoy the joke ”there was a tinge of impatience in Snape’ voice. ”Now if you can stop acting like one of our students for a while we have to talk. Your reaction to potion…”
“I WHAT THIS OFF”
“Did you try to wash it off?”
“I did, it started to sparkle” Snape started to laugh again, rage pulled like a drape behind Lupin’s eyes. Before he was able to think, he hurled toward Snape and stopped. Tip of Snape’s wand was leaning on his chest.
“You would not…”
“Try me Lupin. I’m no mood for your fits today. I will be in the lab.” coldly replied Snape and turned around.
Lupin was looking at him. What is going on? He did not feel like himself. Insane amounts of anger clouded his thoughts, his hands clenched into fists. Rage was, rage was same, as the one wolf would feel. He could almost taste bloodlust on the tip of his thought. Breathing deeply he tried to remember what Snape told him about talking, about the second potion. Panic grabbed him. I’m turning feral!!! That evening they did not talk.
~ SS ~ RL ~ SS ~ RL ~
In following days, Snape’s mood turned to worse. The school was full of drawings circulating around, showing Snape and garden gnome kissing. By the middle of the week, more than half of students earned detention in Potions.
However, Snape’s foul mood did not influence just their cohabitation but disturbed staff meetings and other professors as well. Even other staff members started to give detention for those drawings. That week more than half of school students was in detention. In hourglasses, the number of jewels reduced drastically, the majority of them chunked by Snape himself.
Lupin had a turmoil of his own, his hair was still changing colours, and even Dumbledore did not manage to break the spell. Nevertheless, for Remus most memorable thing was that he could hear again fast thumps of Snape’s heart. Fast enough and so long lastingly fast that he started to ponder on an idea of actually suggesting a potion to Snape.
- 5
- 6
- 7
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Unwanted pet * Complete*