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Nightmares	By : Tnteacups Category: Harry Potter > Het - Male/Female > Draco/Hermione Views: 12275 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor do I make any money from this writing.

Chapter List
- 5
- 6
- 7
Passed Out

“Malfoy…” She turned on him, her wand clutched in her shaking hand. He was kneeling on the floor of the cabinet room now, staring at the Pensieve, as though he could change what they’d seen.
“Malfoy, HOW COULD YOU LIE ABOUT THAT!?” She shouted at him, pointing her wand directly at his face.
“I didn’t lie. I just didn’t tell you.” He said, finally looking at her, and wiping the tears from his eyes.
“IT’S JUST AS GOOD AS!” She screeched, feeling her anger was the only thing keeping her from breaking down like he had. If she stopped being furious, she’d be destroyed.
“I KNOW! I HATE MYSELF! For lying to you, for obliviating you, for raping you! I wish I could take it all back! But I can’t! I can’t bring our child back, and I can’t bring you back, and ever since, all I can think about is ‘what if’? What would have happened to us if he’d lived?” Malfoy spewed, tears rolling down his red face, his hands balled into fists, but he made no move to defend himself from her aiming wand, as though he welcomed anything she might shoot at him. Hermione felt her chest wrench with pain at the words ‘our child’. If things had been different, they’d be permanently bound by that singular phrase.
Hermione fell to her knees, wrapping her arms around herself, and feeling as though a void had opened inside of her. It felt as though she were being ripped in two, and she couldn’t breathe, couldn’t cry out.
“Hermione?” Malfoy’s voice was worried, and she heard him scrambling towards her. “Hermione, breathe!” He ordered her futilely, his hands braced on her shoulders. She couldn’t see him though, and his panicked voice was fading out, leaving her with only the feeling of being lifted, cradled, and squeezed. Then, her awareness of touch joined her other senses, leaving her floating in a soundless black void of utter despair.
* * *
“Hermione? Hermione can you hear me?” The voice was familiar, but Hermione couldn’t open her eyes to see who it was, exhaustion weighing her down like a ten-ton blanket.
“Wake up, sweetie. We’re all here for you.” A second voice, also familiar, but equally ungraspable.
“Hermione, please…” A different voice, familiar, and deep. Her hand twitched, wanting to reach out for the comfort of her best friend. Her fingers barely moved, unable to fight off the weight holding every one of her muscles down, even to comfort the worry in Harry’s voice.
A hand grabbed those fingers and squeezed, as though reading her need to hold him.
“Hermione? Are you awake?” Harry’s voice was hopeful, and she tried desperately to squeeze back, to let him know she was there, but it was useless. She couldn’t move. She couldn’t remember how.
“How is she?” A fourth voice asked from farther away, and her heart beat wildly in her chest. This voice wasn’t just familiar. It was ominous. It was the voice that told her to cry, scream, thrash. It was the voice that read to her as she lay in bed, resting. It was the voice that screamed at her about their child.
“Why are you here?” A venomous note had entered one of the previous voices, and Hermione fought wildly to wake up, to scream, and cry, and thrash.
“Whoa! Hermione, you’re awake!? Calm down! You’ll hurt yourself!” Harry’s voice rang in her ears, and she felt her lungs burning with lack of air, her throat straining as she fought to vocalize. She felt hands on her, trying to hold her down, and she fought harder, gasping for breath, flailing her arms madly to escape the grabbing hands, even as her feet were restrained.
“Stop! You’re scaring her!” The commanding voice of Hell ordered, getting closer, only to be rewarded with shouts.
“Get out, Malfoy!”
“How would you know?”
“Get away from her!”
“Stop grabbing her like that!” Malfoy’s stern voice slapped the hands away, and replaced them with a soft grasp about her wrists, keeping her from flailing, without holding her down.
“You’re safe, I promise. Open your eyes.”
Her eyes shot open, and she stared into grey pools of worry and love. She felt sobs hiccuping in her chest, his face in front of her leaving only one thing in her mind. The one thing that neither could ever forget. An unborn cherub that would have had his face, she was sure. His hair, his eyes.
“I’m so sorry!” She wailed, feeling suddenly as though it was her fault that the pregnancy had failed. He must blame her for killing his firstborn, for not being able to bring him to term.
“What’re you sorry for, Hermione?” Harry’s voice cut through her sorrow, his hands coming into view as he pushed Malfoy aside to stand in her line of sight.
“It’s not your fault. You were hysterical. I think a good whack is just what he needs.” Ginny’s fierce voice shot toward Malfoy, misinterpreting her apology.
“It’s my fault. I’m sorry…” She muttered, ignoring her friends, staring at Malfoy, hoping he understood, and accepted her apology.
“Don’t apologize to him, Hermione. It’s not your fault.” Ron’s voice matched his sister’s tone, and Hermione looked up, feeling a whole new level of guilt and remorse wash over her.
“Ron… I…” She couldn’t force the words out, her throat constricted by a lump, her emotions overwhelming her again as she realized that Ron had no idea that he hadn’t been her first. That her first pregnancy would never be his. She felt as though she’d been unfaithful, like their entire relationship had been built on lies.
“She’s awake?” A new voice asked, intruding on her gathered friends. She recognized the green robes of a St. Mungo’s healer and realized she was in the hospital. She looked at Malfoy worriedly, terrified of what that meant.
“You passed out from shock. I brought you here.” He answered the question in her eyes, moving to the foot of her bed as the healer stepped between her friends, and leaned over her, waving his wand, and checking her over.
“You brought her here? What’d you do to her, you filth?” Ron had his wand out, pointed at Malfoy, ready to curse him in an instant. The healer rolled his eyes as he turned to tell Ron to put his wand away in the hospital.
“Ron, don’t.” Hermione choked out, closing her eyes to shut out the figures swirling around the room.
“Miss Granger, how do you feel?” The medi-wizard asked, his voice full of concern, and responsibility.
Hermione shook her head, unable to put words to how she felt.
“Would you like to speak privately about why you collapsed, or would you prefer your friends be present for support?” He asked getting another head shake in response.
“Alright, everyone out. You can see her again after the examination.” He ordered, and she heard him turn on his heel, and usher her friends out. The snap of the door closing was like a switch that opened her eyes, letting her look around the mostly empty room without fear of meeting eyes she didn’t want to see.
“So, you were brought here unconscious, after apparently hyperventilating, and passing out, from shock. I understand from your records that you had a miscarriage a few months ago… Are you feeling any abdominal pain, or sickness?”
She shook her head, feeling tears well in her eyes again.
“I’m very sorry for bringing it up, but I have to make sure there were no complications. Please lie back.” She flopped backward, and watched as he waved his wand slowly over her, double checking to make sure she was physically well.
“Everything seems in order. So, would you please describe to me what caused the episode?” He asked in a clinical voice, waving his wand to summon a stool which he plopped on, before putting his wand away, and pulling out a clipboard and pen.
“I uh… Just found out. About the… Miscarriage.” She labored over the words, fighting back the swell of emotions that threatened to do her in again. If it hadn’t been for the doctor’s incredibly impersonal expression, and tone of voice, she didn’t think she’d have been able to keep herself contained. It was as though his calm helped her remain just this side of sane.
“I see. You were previously unaware of the past incident?” He asked for clarification.
“I’d been obliviated. It was right at the end of the war.” She said, nodding, and hoping that he didn’t ask who had obliviated her. She wasn’t sure she wanted anyone else to know about Malfoy’s attempts to protect her.
“Mmhm. And how are you feeling now? Has the shock passed, or would you like a calming potion?” He asked, glancing up from his clipboard to view her response.
“I… I think I could use a potion.” She admitted, feeling weak for giving in.
“I’ll recommend you to someone you can speak with about the trauma, and you should be fine to go home. Try to rest for a few days.” He said, fetching her a vial from a locked cupboard. Hermione downed the potion, and savored the chilly tranquility that stole over her limbs.
“Thank you.” she sighed, as he wrote down a name, and handed it to her.
“Dr. Augestie is a muggle therapist, but she’s a close friend, and I think she’ll be able to help you.”
“Alright. I’m free to go, then?” She asked, sitting back up, the potion making the weight from earlier lift, and leaving her muscles free to move.
“You are. Remember: try to rest.”
“I will. Thank you.” Hermione smiled at the healer, and stood from the bed, ready to join her friends, and head home.
- 5
- 6
- 7
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Nightmares