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Second Chances	By : ShigeSato Category: Harry Potter Crossovers > Het - Male/Female Views: 2964 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters, settings or named spells/objects in the Harry Potter franchise. They are the intellectual property of JK Rowling and Warner Bros. I make no profit from this story.

Chapter List
- 5
- 6
- 7
Hermione's first Christmas break at Hogwarts could not have started off better.
She'd been apprehensive about it, fearing that she would miss her friends and family, but in reality she was too caught up in the celebrations to even think about it. The teachers made a special effort to put on games and events every day for those who wished to participate, and each dinner was full of laughter and merrymaking on the small table in the center of the Great Hall. It felt just as fun as a stay at the Burrow, and in some ways it was even more special, as she was spending more time with people she wouldn't usually see during the holidays.
She was the only eighth-year Gryffindor who had elected to stay. Neville wanted to be with his grandmother and Seamus with his mum, Ginny had gone back to the Burrow, and Parvati had taken Dean home to her parents. Blaise had gone to Italy to visit his mother and the rest of the Slytherins had gone back to whatever shreds of their families remained, except for Theo. Luna was also gone, electing to visit her friend Rolf Scamander who was investigating a new species of magical bison discovered in Argentina. So, Hermione found herself alone with Theo for most of the holidays outside of the events put on by the teachers, and she had to admit, she had a brilliant time.
On the first day, she'd been worried because Theo had told Malfoy he wouldn't approach her. She didn't want to spend Christmas alone, so she decided to seek him out early and establish that she wanted to spend time with him, and hope that was enough to sway him. She found him in the Great Hall, watching a group of fourth-years eagerly trying to figure out the next clue to Hagrid's treasure hunt with an amused smile.
"Hey, you," she said, sitting beside him. "What are you doing?"
"Debating whether to inform these fourth-years that the clue they've been poring over for half an hour is, in fact, a decoy and the real one is under the table," Theo replied with a mischievous glint in his eye.
"Did you hide it?" Hermione asked disapprovingly.
Theo looked at her with a face that said 'really?'. "As if I'd interfere. I just noticed it much earlier than they did."
"Perhaps you should have entered," Hermione said with a grin. "You'd probably win it."
"Play a treasure hunt alone? Yeah, no thanks," Theo replied. "I might be a loser, but I'm not that bad."
Hermione giggled. "Well, I don't think you're a loser. But then, a lot of people think I am, so maybe that's not much of a compliment."
Theo laughed, his hair falling further over his forehead. "Maybe we can enter the next event together, if you want. Team Loser."
"Team Loser," Hermione agreed heartily, and turned to watch the fourth-years who seemed to finally have figured out that their clue was a dead end. "Should we tell them, d'you think?"
"Nah," Theo said, "from what I heard, you had to work out Triwizard clues in fourth year. Let them work it out themselves, they're capable enough."
They left the Great Hall together and from then on were inseparable for the rest of the holidays. They both finished all their homework in the first two days, wanting to get it out of the way, and Hermione greatly approved that Theo agreed with her work ethic on this. She'd never understood leaving something until the last minute, because it tended to overshadow the entire break. Harry and Ron had never seen eye to eye with her. Thinking of Harry and Ron, who still hadn't replied to her letter, made her heart hurt, so she shook herself out of it and focused on the friend in front of her, diligently working away on his Transfiguration project. She was disappointed in the way her two best friends had reacted, judging her decisions without even hearing her out and refusing to talk to her about it after the fact. She was glad she had Ginny, Blaise, Theo and the Gryffindors, whom she knew would always be on her side.
"You alright there?" asked Theo kindly, noticing she had stopped.
"Yeah, sorry," she said, shaking herself a little. His smile was open and genuine, and she found herself staring. Her heart ached to not be able to touch him. "Just got distracted for a moment."
"Do you want to take a break?" Theo asked, stretching. "I'm getting a little tired myself."
"No, it's alright," Hermione replied with a smile, trying not to look at the section of stomach he'd revealed by stretching. If she took a break, she'd only end up thinking more about Harry and Ron, or her problems with Malfoy, or how much she wanted to run her hands over that bit of midriff she'd seen. "I'll relax once it's finished. You feel free, though."
"Nah," Theo cricked his neck and settled back down, "there's no point if you're not, and I'll only end up being a distraction if I'm not working. You're right, we should get this done."
Hermione couldn't have possibly appreciated him any more than she did in that moment.
Soon enough it was Christmas Eve, and Hermione and Theo were eating breakfast together in the Great Hall. It was nice to be able to share meals with him, as they couldn't really do that in regular school time. She noticed his table manners were impeccable, probably the result of being raised in a Pureblood household, but it was something she could appreciate, how delicately he held his cutlery and the very little mess he left behind. She felt vulgar in comparison and that was saying something, as she had always taken manners very seriously.
"So what's the plan today?" Theo asked her with a grin.
"I told you before," Hermione replied, "we're making a snowman."
He groaned. "Do we have to? Can't you make it and I'll watch?"
"It's no fun if we don't do it together," Hermione pressed. "Come on, don't be a baby, I'll put a Warming Charm on you!"
"Fine. But only because it's you," Theo reluctantly agreed, and Hermione had to quell the rapid beating of her heart at the implication. It had been difficult to keep to herself what she'd heard in the corridor and how she felt about Theo, but although she didn't feel like she was cheating on anyone – after all, she owed Malfoy nothing – she had always been very straightforward with people. It wouldn't be fair to Malfoy to suddenly start something without at least telling him about it, nor to Theo because it would drive a rift in between him and his friend. Though, she supposed, her intended course of action was going to do that anyway, likely as not, if what Malfoy had said about liking her was true.
Not long later, they were outside, laughing and playing in the snow. Their snowman was a miserable attempt, as it wasn't really thick enough to mould properly, and sort of fell apart in their hands. Hermione began to use Sticking Charms to hold the snow together, then accidentally stuck one to her hand and yelped and squealed from the cold until a hysterical Theo undid it for her. Still, they managed to construct what one might consider a sort-of shapely pile of snow, and Hermione proudly stuck a carrot she'd snuck from the table in the top of it and called it finished. The carrot, predictably, was too much weight for the sunken snow to handle and the entire thing promptly collapsed, triggering another bout of hysterical laughter from Theo. She loved his laugh; it was loud and clear as a bell.
They lay down in the snow, exhausted, and as the last of Theo's laughter died away Hermione sighed. "I've had a lot of fun today. Thanks, Theo."
"Honestly," he replied, a little breathless from laughter, "this is the most fun I've had in a really, really long time. Definitely the best Christmas I've ever had, no contest."
Hermione smiled happily. "It's definitely in my top three. I think the best one would have to be the one year my parents took me to Brazil. We spent Christmas Eve on a fabulous beach in the sunshine, and danced all night into Christmas morning." She remembered the place with a fond smile. That had always been by far her favourite memory of her parents, her twelve-year-old self sticking cocktail umbrellas in her father's hair while her mother laughed and danced with her.
"Why didn't you go home this year?" Theo asked seriously. She turned towards him, shuffling onto her side in the snow, and looked into his face. He was very close, and his cologne was tantalizing her. She took a deep breath for courage and answered him. He was her friend, and she felt comfortable enough now to discuss it.
"I don't really have anywhere to go," she admitted, her throat catching. "Harry and Ron are so angry with me about Malfoy that they won't speak to me, so I didn't want to make things awkward at the Burrow. And my parents…my parents don't remember me."
"What?!" Theo was alarmed, his eyebrows creasing into a concerned frown.
"I Obliviated them," Hermione whispered, unable to properly command her voice anymore, "and sent them away to Australia. They're Muggles, and defenceless – I couldn't let them be captured, or tortured or killed to get to me. I knew they'd be targets so I made sure they were safe. They have a whole new life out there, one where they've never had a daughter."
"Hermione…" Theo looked lost. "I can't imagine…"
"Yes you can," she said with a sad smile. "You lost your parents, too, didn't you?"
"I've never had a mother," Theo replied with a stoic mask on, "and my father was not someone I would ever miss. He made my childhood miserable – beatings and abuses every day. Honestly, I was more than glad to hear he'd been killed in the war, because it meant I was finally out from under his shadow. I can't imagine what it's like to have parents that love you, and to have to send them away like you did. You're so much stronger than I ever thought a person could be."
Hermione smiled weakly. "At least they're alive and safe, and I know they're happy. There are some people who can't say the same of their loved ones."
Theo balled his hands into fists. "So much unnecessary death…I understand why it happened, and that none of us would have been strong enough to stop it, but I just can't ever forgive myself for sitting by while it did. I was selfish. I only wanted Voldemort to lose because it meant my father would lose. That I'd never have to see him again. I was so caught up in my own tiny, insignificant life that I didn't even think about what it was costing other people."
Hermione put a hand on his, leaning further towards him. Their noses were almost touching. "Don't," she said quietly. "It's in the past now. We've all made our mistakes – Merlin knows I have – and it's time to move on from them and be who we want to be, not who we were."
"Be who we want to be, huh?" Theo murmured, his beautiful dark eyes roving over her face. "I've never known how to do that. At home I had my father telling me I was worthless, and at school there was Draco, who…" he looked troubled, and tailed off.
"Tell me," Hermione said softly.
"I don't want to cause any problems," Theo shook his head and rolled away from her a little. "He's my friend, and so are you, and it's not right to drive a wedge."
"Malfoy is perfectly capable of driving a wedge all on his own," Hermione replied, a little saddened that he wouldn't open up to her any more.
Theo smiled sadly. "Well, he hasn't managed yet, has he? I see no reason to expedite the process. Come on, let's head back to the castle, I'm getting hungry."
As he sat up and offered her his hand, Hermione could barely stop herself from just blurting it out in the face of his gallantry and his kind smile. I want to end things with Malfoy. It's you I want, Theo. You're so much more important to me in every way, and I want to know you better than anyone else. I want to hear everything you want to say, and I want to hold you and touch you and kiss you and never stop.
She managed to control herself, but just barely.
Later that evening, they were sprawled out on the couch in the Slytherin common room. Theo had suggested they go back there and see in Christmas morning with a bottle of Ogden's, since he was the only Slytherin who was still at the school and they wouldn't be disturbed. Hermione had never been inside the common room before and she had marveled at the great underwater windows and the sight of the giant squid, which waved at her through the glass. She and Theo had shared the Firewhiskey, laughing and toasting, and she couldn't remember the last time she had had such a leisurely, fun experience. It was so easy to be with Theo, everything flowed and clicked, and she was so grateful that she'd had the chance to get to know him as well as she did.
The clock chimed midnight, and Hermione raised her glass. "Cheers, Theo."
"Cheers," he replied, lifting his own, and they both finished their drinks and grinned.
"I'm so hungry," Hermione suddenly said, very aware that her stomach was empty. It was strange, because she'd had dinner not too long ago, but she was feeling decidedly peckish.
"We don't have any food," Theo said sadly. "Maybe there's some in the Christmas presents? Sweets and such?" he gestured at the pile of boxes that had appeared under the tree.
"No, those are for tomorrow morning," Hermione answered, refusing to entertain the idea of breaking the sanctity of Christmas presents. "Come on, let's go to the kitchens. Nobody will be around."
"You know where the kitchens are?" Theo asked, astonished.
"Since fourth year," Hermione replied with a grin, holding out her hand for him. She didn't know why she was doing it, but this was fun and it felt like an adventure, back in the early school days when she, Harry and Ron had sneaked about under the invisibility cloak. "Let's go, it'll be fun."
"I'm in," Theo replied, grabbing her hand and letting her lead him out of the common room. She didn't let go, and neither did he, so they ended up walking with their hands joined all the way to the portrait of the fruit. Hermione was very aware that he wasn't pulling away. Luckily it wasn't too far, and when they arrived she relinquished his hand and gestured triumphantly.
"Just tickle the pear," she said as though it were the most normal thing in the world.
Theo eyed her, incredulous, but to his credit he didn't question it and simply followed her instructions. The door to the kitchens was revealed in the wall and he grinned. "Oh, this is brilliant. Who knew that the Gryffindors knew where this was all along?"
Hermione smiled mischievously. "There's probably a lot you don't know about what we 'Gryffindorks' got up to."
"Wait, you know that nickname?" Theo asked in confusion as he followed her through the door, and she laughed.
Though the house-elves hadn't been too pleased to see her, something which she explained to Theo on the way back to the common room to his raucous laughter, they'd managed to get some sandwiches and cakes which they carried back with them. Upon arrival Hermione flopped back down on what she'd dubbed as 'her' sofa, and Theo followed suit, grabbing the bottle of Ogden's on the way down.
"Another round?" he asked.
"Let's make it a game," she suggested, inspired by the conversation they'd had on the way back from the kitchens. "You tell me something about yourself, a story or a fact, something interesting, and if I didn't know it I have to drink. Then I'll do the same."
"Alright, that sounds like fun," Theo agreed, and turned to face her, sitting up on the sofa. "I'll go first, then. My birthday is on January 18th."
Hermione took a drink. She hadn't known that about him, which was surprising. She made a mental note to get him a birthday present soon. "Alright. In first year, I smuggled a baby dragon out of the castle."
Theo didn't drink, his smile smug. "Nice try, but Draco told us all about that."
"Damn, I forgot he saw it all," Hermione screwed up her nose. "Alright then. Your turn."
"Hmm…it's been my ambition since the beginning of the year to be a teacher when I graduate," Theo said, and Hermione drank again.
"You never mentioned it," she said, shocked.
Theo shrugged. "It's probably stupid. The teachers here barely like us any more than the students, so I don't think they'd want me as part of the faculty. Not to mention I don't have great OWL results because at the time I didn't expect to have a career at all, so I don't really have much going for me."
"It's not stupid at all, I think it's great to want to do something with your life," Hermione argued. "And I think you're being too harsh on yourself. You have such a good way of discussing the subject material, and you have great insights, and you're a really hard worker. The staff will absolutely see that and Slytherin or not they'll have no reason to refuse."
Theo smiled. "I never tire of your ability to see the good in absolutely everyone."
"It's not exactly difficult when it comes to you," Hermione reasoned, missing the creeping blush that threatened Theo's cheeks. "Right, it's my turn, isn't it? Let's see…"
"Is it permitted to ask what I want to know?" Theo suddenly said. "I'll take a drink since I don't know the answer, or two even."
"I suppose for two drinks that's fair," Hermione replied, her heart beginning to beat faster again.
Theo downed two shots of the Firewhiskey, then took a deep breath. "Do you like Draco?"
Hermione shook her head. "From the very beginning I don't even know what I was doing. He was just sort of suddenly there, and nobody has ever kissed me before like he does. I was lonely and I wanted to have what Ginny has, and there he was offering it. It was stupid to carry it on. I was going to tell him I wanted to stop before Christmas, but…"
"But?" Theo pressed.
Hermione shook her head. "That's enough of an answer for one question, don't you think?" she said crisply, taking a drink herself. Her heart was pounding wildly and she'd come this close to revealing she'd overheard their conversation outside the common room that day. She really needed to keep her drunk self in check.
"OK. My turn, then," Theo said, his dark eyes looking straight into hers, inquisitive and daring, as if they were trying to burn through her soul. "Here goes." He took a deep breath. "I've liked you since fourth year, and still do."
Hermione was slightly shocked at his open and honest revelation, and her heart pounded hearing his confession out loud. To her. She was on cloud nine, but at the same time, she knew this was the moment to be honest with him. He'd found his courage and it was time for her to find hers. She set her drink down without taking a sip.
"You knew?" Theo gaped, his face showing a hundred different emotions. Then he put his face in his hands and curled over. "Fuck. You knew. I've made a total dick of myself."
"No, you haven't," Hermione replied in a small voice, then cleared her throat. "I know, only because I was there the other day outside the common room. I went down to tell Malfoy we were done, and then I heard you both talking, and I hid."
"You eavesdropped on us?" Theo slowly sat up and frowned. "That's not cool, Hermione."
"I know," she sighed. "It was wrong. I wanted to just see Malfoy, but then you were there and by the time I realized I should leave it was too late, it would already have been so awkward. I was a coward and I'm sorry."
Theo sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "I would've done the same, probably." He looked at her again, then, and his eyes were sad. "That means you've known for a week that I'm into you." It felt almost like an accusation, or a challenge.
Hermione moved closer to him, locking her gaze with his. His eyes were gorgeous. "I really like you, Theo," she confessed, and watched his breath hitch. "I have done for a few months. I just didn't know if you liked me back, or what you wanted, and I didn't want to cause a rift between you and Draco either. Then after I heard you say that you liked me, I was so happy, but I haven't had a chance to talk to Draco yet and…I didn't want to make a move to soon."
"You like me?" Theo asked, his breathing fast and his face disbelieving. "You like me. Me."
"You," she confirmed shyly.
"Fuck, Hermione," he said, dragging his hand through his hair, "you have no idea how much I've wanted to hear you say that since fourth year. It feels like a dream. This isn't a dream, right?"
"Of course not," she said, and raised a hand in front of her face. "See? Five fingers. In a dream your hands are all strange because your brain can't accurately recreate them."
Theo was shaking his head, a slow smile spreading over his face as he stared at her hand in wonderment. "Five fingers. I can't…I can't believe this. I've always just been second fiddle to everyone. Not as brawny as Greg and Vince, not as popular as Blaise, not as rich as Pansy, not as smart as Draco. It's…why would you pick me?"
Hermione shrugged, smiling. "We don't pick who we like. For the record, though, I don't think you're second fiddle to anyone. You have a lot of traits that the others don't, you're kind and gentle and honest and intelligent and handsome…you're Theo, and you're brilliant."
He swallowed. "Fuck Draco. I can't wait."
She knew what was coming and she didn't have the inner strength to stop him. His lips found hers, soft and gentle just as he was. She sank into it, running her hands through his hair, pressing up against him, kissing him over and over again. It was perfect. Their mouths fit just right, and she felt the explosive fire inside her that she'd never felt with Ron, and the depth of emotion and adoration she didn't have for Malfoy. It was everything, and she had never known a kiss could feel this good. His lips were so soft, and he was warm and his smell surrounded her, and she never wanted it to end.
Too soon for Hermione's liking, they broke apart, and he rested his forehead on hers, panting. "That was my first kiss," he admitted breathlessly. "Sorry if I wasn't very good."
"Without a doubt," Hermione replied, "the best kiss I've ever had."
Theo grinned, and pulled her into a hug. "I'm so happy," he said simply, and she agreed. There wasn't much else to say. She was happy too.
They fell asleep together on the couch, curled up on top of each other, Hermione reveling in the feeling of comfort and safety she enjoyed in his arms, closing her eyes and breathing in his scent. This is where she was supposed to have been all along, she knew that now. Theo was the whole package.
The next morning, she awoke blearily to see Theo's face grinning down at her. She smiled back. "Good morning."
"It was real," he whispered. "You're here."
By way of reply, Hermione simply leaned up and kissed him gently. He sighed as her lips touched his, closing his eyes and responding eagerly. She played with his bottom lip, and his hands ran lightly over her shoulders and down her sides, making her shiver in pleasure. She wanted him to touch her, and she wanted this to go further, but she needed to speak to Malfoy before it did. He needed to know that whatever they'd been doing was over and done with.
Theo drew back and his eyes fluttered open again. "Happy Christmas, Hermione."
"Happy Christmas, Theo," she replied, her hands not leaving the side of his face. She felt him grin into her touch, his muscles moving under her fingers. Even first thing in the morning, with his hair rumpled and his eyes tired, he was very handsome, at least in her eyes. How she could ever have thought there was anyone else for her, she didn't know.
Most of the destruction they'd left on the floor of the common room last night had been cleaned up by the elves, and the remnants of their midnight snack had been carefully put on a plate on the table. Hermione was grateful for it now because she was starving again, so she extricated herself from Theo's arms and grabbed a cake, offering him one as well. Instead of taking the one she held out for him, he leaned over with a grin and took a bite from hers.
Hermione shook her head in mock despair. "And here I was just thinking the other day how perfect your table manners were."
Theo barked a laugh. "My table manners are appalling by Pureblood standards. I don't even use dessert spoons."
Hermione laughed too. "You know what a dessert spoon is, that's an improvement over any of my normal dinner companions. Can you blame me for admiring it?"
Theo kissed the top of her head. "I'm glad for anything you admire about me."
Hermione blushed at the intimate gesture. "Shall we open our presents?"
Theo shrugged. "I don't think I'll have any, but I'd like to watch you open yours. It looks like they were summoned here."
Hermione grinned. "I know you'll have at least one."
Theo frowned, then crossed the room to inspect the pile. She followed him and saw him holding the package she'd wrapped with his name on it, stroking it fondly. He looked up and she saw pure gratitude in his gaze. "You got me something. I'm so sorry, I didn't get you anything, I didn't even think about it…"
"It's okay," Hermione plopped herself down in front of her presents with a smile. "It's not about getting something in return, I got it for you because I wanted to."
"You're incredible," Theo said, holding the box tightly to him. "This is the best Christmas I've ever had already. No competition."
Hermione smiled. "You know, after last night, I agree. This has topped Brazil."
Theo beamed. He carefully opened his present, not ripping the paper, and opened the box to see a beautiful eagle-feather quill, handcrafted and pristine. He stared at it in awe, pulling it out and twirling it in his fingers. It was then that he noticed the engraving on the shaft, in tiny golden letters; "Happy Christmas Theo, love Hermione."
"It's enchanted to be waterproof and it'll change the ink to whatever colour you like," Hermione said excitedly. "At the time, of course, I didn't know you wanted to be a teacher, but that seems like quite a handy feature now."
Theo couldn't speak. She could see from his face that he was completely overwhelmed. He leaned in and kissed her gently, and she relished it, enjoying how her heart seemed to leap out of her chest towards him every time. When she drew back she saw tears collected in his eyes. "It's beautiful," he whispered. "Thank you."
Hermione smiled, happy he'd liked it. She left him to examine the quill and turned to her own presents, opening them one by one. First was a jumbo pack of Chocolate Frogs from Ron, which was disappointing as she didn't like them very much, but she was at least glad that he'd thought of her. Harry had got her some Toothflossing Stringmints, which were her favourites, and gave her some hope that he might be on the road to forgiving her. She had the usual Weasley jumper from Molly, a scarf from Neville and a lovely brooch from Ginny in the shape of a cat, which was enchanted to purr and roll about. She held it close to her, thinking of Crookshanks who was currently living with Andromeda, and missing him terribly.
There was one more package there, and she looked at it curiously; she didn't know who else might have bought her anything. A brief hope flared in her heart that maybe, somehow, her parents had remembered; but then it was dashed when she turned it over and saw the initials on the bottom. DM. Malfoy had bought her a present. Oh, gods. She hadn't got him anything, assuming they weren't really at the present-giving stage of a relationship.
She opened it carefully with a shaking hand, and gasped. Inside was a beautiful first-edition copy of Hogwarts: a History, bound in silk and secured with a rose. She pulled it out of the paper, trembling, putting aside the long-stemmed rose for a moment, and opened it to breathe in the familiar, soothing scent of an old book. It didn't help to calm her down though. She felt awful.
She turned to Theo, who was holding the rose in his hand, having picked it up off the floor, and staring at it. "I don't understand…it's beautiful, but why?" she asked listlessly. "Why would he do this? We're not together, we're not even…not even friends…"
"Maybe," Theo said bitterly, "he actually took my advice. He's going to try to win you over, to tell you how he feels about you." His hand curled tighter around the rose and Hermione could see blood between his fingers. "I told him that, thinking it would be what was best for you both, that he'd actually man up and you'd be happier together, and I could fade into the background like I always have, because I didn't think there was a hope in hell that you'd ever choose me."
"Oh, Theo," Hermione said, reaching over to touch his shoulder. "It was you from the very beginning."
"Then why did you go with him?" he asked bluntly. "If you liked me as much as you say – as much as I like you – then why are you fucking around with Draco?"
"Hey, don't speak to me like that," Hermione replied, irritated. "I didn't initiate anything with Malfoy. He always came up to me, and I was so lonely, and you told me he liked me, and I just got carried away in the feeling of actually being wanted. I never knew you liked me, you never gave me any indication, or of course I'd never have done anything with him."
"Oh, so it's my fault?" Theo asked, more aggressive than she'd ever seen him. She knew he was hurting, and upset, so she tried to be patient even though she was feeling guiltier than she ever had in her life.
"No," Hermione said, frustrated, "it's mine and I know that. I'm trying to fix it."
Theo's shoulders slumped, and he dropped the rose to the floor, his own blood running down his hand. "I don't think there's any fixing this now. Do you realise what this gesture means? Draco never buys presents for anyone, ever. He never even gives any indication to anyone of how he's feeling, because he thinks feelings make you weak. For him to show this much affection – he must seriously want to be with you. Fuck," he said, punching the floor, "I've really fucked up."
"No," Hermione said firmly, "I'm the one who's fucked up." She didn't usually use coarse language unless she was drunk, but in this situation there was no other way to describe it. "I'll tell him it's over. I'll Floo to the Manor right now and tell him."
"No!" Theo cried, standing up and barring the fireplace. "You can't. You don't know how much this means to him. It'll kill him. I can't do that to my friend, I can't."
"Then what?" Hermione asked him, hands on her hips. "Should we just be unhappy forever? I don't want to be with Malfoy, I want to be with you."
"No offence, Hermione," Theo said with a humourless laugh, "but you should have thought of that before you got his hopes up. He's right, he did like you first, and he did make the first move. I'm a coward and I didn't do anything about it, and you – you were enjoying yourself with him. Before we fucked it all up last night, you two could have had a shot."
Hermione shook her head vehemently. "He was only ever a coping mechanism, an escape," she protested. "You're everything to me."
Theo's sad gaze told her everything she didn't want to know. "It doesn't matter. The only way to fix this is to remove 'us' from the equation. How I feel is – should be – irrelevant, because from the beginning this was about you two. He might have just been an escape, but he could have been more than that, if he had tried, if he had shown you how he felt. Now he is trying, for the first time ever, and I can't be the one to break him. You need to give him a chance."
"No!" Hermione shouted. "What about what I want?"
"You'll be happier with him," Theo replied, looking like he was about to cry. "He's better looking, richer, more popular, smarter, and more experienced than I am. I can't offer you anything except an empty manor and a second-rate existence, because that's all I've ever been. If you give him a chance – let yourself fall for him, because I know you could – you'll be a lot happier, in time."
"Theo," Hermione pleaded, "don't say those things about yourself. Please. I could never be happier with Malfoy, because he's not you."
"No," Theo said flatly, collapsing on the sofa and putting his head in his hands, "he's better. Just – please, leave, this is too difficult for me. Promise you'll try with Draco, because he deserves a real chance with you. He was brave enough to try first, and I fucked it up for him."
Hermione took a deep breath and gathered up her things, stuffing them inside her bag and trying not to cry. She knew she'd really messed up by being with Malfoy at all in the first place, but now she was going to lose Theo after she'd only just found him? She'd fix this. Theo may not believe it could be done, but she would find a way that they could all come out of this okay, even Malfoy. She glanced at Theo one more time, sitting alone on the couch, his shoulders shaking.
"I've chosen you, Theo," she said softly as she was leaving. "I'll speak to Malfoy, but I'm not going to promise I'll give him a chance. I'm never going to let him touch me again. Please remember that you deserve to be happy too."
Theo didn't reply or even acknowledge he'd heard her. She sighed and left, frustrated, angry and heartbroken. She wasn't despairing, though. If there was one thing Hermione Granger could do, it was solve problems, and this was just one giant, messy emotional problem to be solved. She just had to view it like she would an assignment, or a logic puzzle, and she'd find the solution. She had to believe that was true, because if she considered the alternative – the possibility that she might never get the chance to kiss Theo ever again – she felt like she was going to break in half from the inside.
She hadn't wanted to go to the Burrow, hoping that she'd be able to spend Christmas Day with Theo, but right now she didn't want to be alone. She headed up to Gryffindor Tower, intending to use the fireplace there and the spare Floo powder she carried in her bag to go and visit Ginny, and thank the Weasleys for their presents. She was glad that Theo had prevented her from Flooing straight to Malfoy Manor – she didn't think she'd be welcome there, and Malfoy himself certainly wouldn't have appreciated being dumped on Christmas Day. If you could even call it dumping.
She thought of Theo, sitting alone on the couch, and her steps faltered, and she almost turned back. Could she really leave him like this? He didn't deserve such pain. She desperately didn't want him to be alone. A thought occurred to her, and she continued towards Gryffindor Tower quickly, intent on getting to the Burrow as fast as possible.
She showed up in the familiar kitchen fireplace not long afterwards, fake smile plastered across her face. "Hello!"
"Hermione, dear!" Molly was busy with the stove, but the moment Hermione called out she dropped the pan and wiped her hands on her apron, bustling over to catch her in a hug. "We didn't know you were coming!"
"I thought I'd surprise you," Hermione said, hugging her back.
"Oh, how lovely, I'm sure everyone will be so excited to see you," Molly gushed, "they're all through in the living room. Oh, and your jumper fits perfectly," she added, pleased to see Hermione was wearing it.
"Mum! When's dinner?" a familiar freckled face appeared in the doorway. Hermione smiled at Ron, hoping he wasn't still angry, but he saw her, then resolutely ignored her, turning back to his mother.
"Ronald, Hermione's here, aren't you going to say hello?" Molly asked, bristling. "I won't have rudeness in my house."
"Hello, Hermione," Ron repeated mechanically, not looking at her. "When's dinner, Mum? George and I are starving."
"Oh, about an hour, I expect," Molly replied, busying herself over the stove again, clearly unaware of the tension between them. "Go and sit down, I'll call you as soon as it's ready."
Ron promptly left, and sensing she was dismissed, Hermione followed him awkwardly. In the living room sat Harry, George, Percy, Bill, Arthur, Ginny, Fleur (who was feeding her daughter Victoire), and, surprisingly, Blaise, who waved hello as she entered.
"Hi, everyone," she said a little meekly.
"Hermione!" Ginny jumped up and hugged her. "Great to see you, I'm so glad you came. Nice jumper."
"Same to you," Hermione replied, as Ginny was wearing a matching lumpy article. She greeted each of the Weasleys in turn, and Harry, who looked shocked to see her, then turned to Blaise. "Can I borrow you for a moment?"
"Oh, this sounds like gossip," Ginny said, and followed them out of the room. They went into the hallway and Blaise leaned against the wall. "What's up?"
For the first time since arriving at the Burrow, Hermione let her smile fall off her face. "Blaise, I need you to go to Hogwarts."
"Why?" Blaise asked suspiciously. "I'm supposed to be going back to Italy in about an hour, I only came by quickly to see Ginny and meet the other eight Weasleys."
"Seven," Ginny corrected him, "Charlie's not here."
"Please," Hermione interrupted, tears threatening to fall from her eyes. Ginny looked startled at how upset her friend was and put a hand on her shoulder, concerned. "We – I – messed up really badly, and Theo is alone in the Slytherin common room right now. He needs a friend and he doesn't want to see me."
"Oh for fuck's sake," Blaise cursed, putting a hand over his face. "What happened? Did he come on to you or something? I knew you two being in the castle alone for a week could only end in tears."
"Wait, Theo likes Hermione?" Ginny asked, brightening. "That's great news!"
"Wait, so Hermione likes Theo?" Blaise questioned. "Then what on earth's the problem? Why aren't you back at the castle with him right now?"
"Malfoy," sobbed Hermione.
"I thought you said you didn't like Draco? That it was just snogging?" Blaise asked. "I'm so confused."
"It was," Hermione said through her tears, "until he gave me this." She pulled the beautiful book and the rose out of her bag and showed them. Blaise let out a low whistle and Ginny looked troubled. "I was going to call things off with Malfoy before Christmas, but I didn't get a chance to speak to him. Then Theo and I were drinking last night, and we ended up kissing, and I told him I want to be with him, it's always been him. He was happy, and then – this morning – this happened, and now he wants me to go with Malfoy instead of him, and I can't convince him otherwise."
Blaise sighed, turning the book over in his hands. "The one major flaw Theo has is that he always sees himself as inferior to those around him. He's had a major self-esteem complex for years, made worse by Draco and I being tits to him when we were younger. Now that Draco has expressed a real interest in you, he thinks he's doing you both a favour by becoming a martyr and stepping aside to let you be happy. It's understandable from his point of view, but unfortunate."
"I'm going to fix this," Hermione said determinedly. "I don't know what Malfoy is thinking, because Merlin knows we could never work, but the minute school starts again I'm going to tell him we're done."
A shadow crossed Blaise's face. "I don't know how well that will go down," he explained. "This is the first time Draco has ever reached out to someone like this. You really have an effect on him, and he's been trying hard to be better recently. Breaking it off without even giving it a try might kill him. And Theo wouldn't thank you for that, either."
Hermione buried her head in her hands. "Then what do I do?"
Blaise laughed humourlessly. "Got a Time-Turner?"
"Not anymore," Hermione wailed.
"Wait – anymore?" Blaise asked, then stopped at a look from Ginny. "Alright. I'll help. We'll sort this. I'm going to Hogwarts now to make sure Theo's not imploded, and then I'll stop at Malfoy Manor to see if I can talk any sense into Draco before I head back to Italy."
"Thank you, Blaise," Hermione said weakly. "I'm sorry to have ruined your Christmas."
Blaise waved a hand. "This is nothing. I'm Italian. We love drama."
He kissed Ginny goodbye and went to bid farewell to Molly. Ginny rubbed Hermione's back sympathetically. "We'll sort it out, I promise," she said. "I feel kind of responsible for this, I'll admit, so I want to help you fix it."
"How are you responsible?" Hermione choked out a hollow laugh. "This is all my mistake."
"I told you to go for it," Ginny sighed. "I encouraged you to go with Malfoy in the first place, even though I knew you liked Theo. I thought you needed someone, but you're not like me, you're Hermione Granger. You don't need anyone. If I hadn't given you that advice…"
"I probably would have ended up going with Malfoy sooner or later," Hermione admitted sadly. "I was lonely, and I didn't know what Theo thought of me, or at that stage how much I even liked him; and Malfoy was so persistent, he actually wanted me, and Harry and Ron got angry at me…it was just a perfect storm," she explained, tears threatening to appear again. "I just want Theo back," she finished listlessly.
"It'll work out, I promise," Ginny was trying to be comforting, Hermione knew, but her words sounded empty. How could they realistically be anything else? This was between her, Malfoy and Theo, and in the end they were the only ones who could change anything.
"Uh…Hermione?" a familiar face appeared in the doorway, and Harry shuffled in, looking sheepish. "I came to look for you…I heard the end of that. I'm really sorry I walked out on Halloween. I didn't realise it had been like that for you, that Malfoy was the one who sought you out, and I shouldn't have overreacted the way I did."
"If you felt like that, why didn't you answer my letters?" Hermione sniffled.
"What letters?" Harry asked, genuine surprise passing over his face. Then he slapped his forehead. "Oh Merlin, I forgot to tell you, I've changed the wards on Grimmauld Place. Your owls wouldn't have reached me. I'm so sorry, I meant to give you the written address for the Fidelius charm when I saw you, but then everything happened and I forgot."
"Oh," Hermione said weakly, "I thought you just ignored them all."
"Merlin, no!" Harry sat down on her other side and grabbed her hand. "I was annoyed, but not that annoyed. Ron is still…well, Ron's Ron. I'd long since forgiven you and was really sad that you weren't going to be coming today."
"Oh, Harry," Hermione sobbed, and launched herself into a hug. He held onto her, rubbing her shoulders. "I'm so glad we're still friends."
"Always," Harry said seriously.
Hermione drew back and smiled weakly. "I've really screwed up this time."
"I heard," he said. "Theo Nott? Really?"
Hermione nodded earnestly. "I really, really like him, Harry. And he's sad now because of me."
"If you like him enough, it'll work out in the end," Harry promised her, and she leaned into his shoulder for comfort and found herself really wanting to believe him.
- 5
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Second Chances