It Wouldn't Even Matter | By : Eloise Downbadde Category: Harry Potter > Het - Male/Female > Draco/Hermione Views: 1865 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 1 |
Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters - i just referenced the books from a different perspective |
Chapter 6
His Flame
Draco tried to stay calm the next few days. He decided, after more firewhiskey, that his embarrassment during Halloween would be best ignored; just like the slip up in the library. He tried to make some sort of plan, some kind of clever move to make it all seem like he casually takes women out to quiet balconies to slow dance while she cries. No big deal.
As it turned out, he didn't even need to worry about avoiding her. She did it fine on her own. Even more than that, she was vicious with her boyfriends. There was some sodding quidditch game and her team won and then suddenly, Hermione Granger was the most bitter, confrontational witch in school! He hadn't noticed until class started again that her tight lipped attitude wasn't only directed at him. She sat with her back to him every evening in their usual spots at the library and never even glanced at him when they passed by one another.
Then in class, she would sit with anyone but her boyfriends. Potty giving her desperate glances and Weasley acting resolute to not look her way. One of them must have enraged her to the point of explosion. Amusing as it was to watch her fire hexes at the two when they came near her, it was more than exhausting to watch her suffer with other classmates in their classes. In potions, she would sit with the Thomas bloke, who seemed intelligent enough and the other classes Longbottom or one of the girls who spent the class picking apart how she looked.
He found himself gritting his teeth on Wednesday, one of the twin Gryffindor's was trying to use subtly to insult her wild hair as they leaned over a potion, the humidity high in the air (of course it was fluffed out like a cloud!). He felt himself growling quietly as she was the bigger person and pretended not to hear but the girl's long brown hair somehow ended up catching fire. Shame, she must have leaned too close to the burner and forgot the protection bubble. He leaned back in his seat and snickered under his breath. Granger must have picked up on it because she whipped her head at him while the girl squealed and dashed to her sister to help put it out.
The fact that his smirk grew wider as the bratty girl started sobbing and was excused from class was purely circumstantial. Although he was a little pleased he was paired up with Granger when she was suddenly without a partner. Maybe she would speak with him. She was all business, barely looking his way and he would be lying if he said it didn't irritate him.
"You're quite the ray of sunshine, today." Draco said coolly, dropping the lionfish spines into the cauldron and stirring the everlasting elixir.
"I am not here to be your sunshine." She dipped her quill and a loud scratch punctuated her sentence as she underlined something. "Hand me the livers. I'll chop them." He did as she asked and watched her slicing through the small organs the wrong direction.
"Granger," He reached over to still her hand before she moved the knife through it again. "You're supposed to cut horizontally. Here," He gave her hand a small squeeze to let go of the knife and she huffed, frustrated.
"I can do it!" She turned her annoyance to him but instead of snarking back at her, he stayed calm and took over for her. He was actually impressed he was able to keep his temper when she glared.
He said softly, "It's okay," so no one else could hear him and carefully leaned his shoulder against hers. "Are you okay?" The warmth that flooded him kept him from looking at her face, he could just imagine how bright her eyes must be at this moment; probably shining and teary with frustration. He knew she was softening when her body slumped a bit.
When her voice dropped as well, he slid the leafy greens over to her to pick them off the stems, giving her something to do. "I'll be fine." She stilled and he knew she was looking at him with that steady, searching face but he focused on the bubbling potion until his eyes burned. "Thank you." she practically whispered and he risked a sidelong glance to be rewarded with her small smile. The little bit of pain in it cut him.
He loathed that he felt the urge to beat whoever put that pain into her face into a bloody pulp. He hyper focused on perfectly penmanship and dicing for the last of the class. If she didn't want to talk about what was wrong, he didn't either.
That night after dinner, she passed him without a word to sit at her seat in the library and he tried to not take it personally. He scribbled the last of his essay and started to pack up to leave since he didn't think his heart could bear her pretending he wasn't there for another night; not after the absolute treasure of an evening he had with her that his subconscious played on repeat daily. His heart thudded in his chest when she was suddenly next to him, her eyes searching and puzzling across his face.
He waited, she had been the one who was surly so he wasn't going to break the silence first. She pulled a rolled parchment out of her robe pocket and placed it carefully on the table in front of him. "I'd rather you be 'missing' than dead, Draco." And she turned to sit back in her seat, her back to him. He was glad since his throat had chosen to close up just then, no words allowed to come out. He was such a piece of shit.
Of course it was filled with suggestions and research on the vanishing cabinet. Even if she was angry at him, she had been looking into his "big issue" in her free time and that made him feel like even more of a piece of shit. He sat back down and read through the paper several times, realizing he hadn't tried any of the suggestions she had written down in her perfectly looped handwriting. He thought about thanking her but she had her head bowed and her quill moved furiously across the parchment and he decided against it.
The little spark of annoyance reared its head when he was packing to leave and he heard her little giggle. The tiny tinkling sound of her trying to be appealing in the way those vapid girls in their class were. And he nearly bit through his tongue when he saw that knob McLaggen with his head bowed against hers, speaking into her ear and his hand drifting along her knee. There's a deep burn, a full flame in his chest as he grabs all of his things and shrinks his bag down again to fit in his pocket. He hears her whisper urgently, trying to sound authoritative like she tends to do but he clenched his fists when Cormac chuckled and replied.
"No one is around, c'mon love. Let me show you." He almost bubbled over with sheer loathing. He didn't know and he didn't want to know what the horrid tosser was suggesting. He reminded himself she was a big girl, a powerful witch, she didn't need his help.
It didn't stop him from knocking hard into his shoulder as he passed him, Cormac's body falling backward to the other table across the aisle, away from her. "Pardon me," he snarled and the other bloke lunged forward at him, hands going for Draco's throat. He's too quick , Draco snapped his arms up to break the path of Cormac's hands and they swung back down, his wrists in his grip and he shoved him backward again, releasing him. He didn't even want to touch the nonce. Draco took a step in front of Granger since she had leapt up and surely was about to try and interfere but Draco threw his arm out to stop her.
"You sodding-"
"My mistake, McLaggen. No need to be so aggressive." He looks over his shoulder, "The lady isn't too keen on aggressive men, are you, Granger?" She stuck her chin in the air and crossed her arms. It seemed she was still set on not speaking to him. It was a shame really, after Halloween, he had continuously imagined her face buried against his chest every night as he drifted to sleep. It only seemed to stoke the protective flame he felt as Cormac stepped up to him again; chest to chest.
"I swear to Godric, Malfoy-" he cuts him off again, he doesn't deserve to speak after being such a letcher to her.
"You shouldn't have to coerce someone to snog you in the library. I think you're done here, mate."
This wanker knows; he had said it himself the last time all three were together like this. Draco is protecting her behind the scenes. He and his goons would keep tabs on her and keep her safe. And right now, keeping her safe meant keeping him and his slimy fingers away from her. She didn't feel the same as she grabbed a fistful of Draco's cloak and yanked him backwards, making him stumble.
"No, you're finished here, Malfoy. Leave." Her eyes cut through his, fury pulsing through him and he gritted his teeth. This fucking witch, does she have any idea how dangerous a bloke like McLaggen can be? If he doesn't respect her rejection in the middle of a party- he cuts himself off from thinking any further.
He adopted a mantra that got him through the door as he sneered at her and stalked away, 'not my business. She isn't my business.' When his overwhelming urge to strike something kept pressing against the back of his eyes, his vision fading red, he tried his best to keep it together.
He couldn't focus on anything but driving his legs forward and back to his rooms, past the fountain in the hall and he swished his wand at it. The stone figure jumped with the sparks he sent into the water and shouted, "Oi!" at him. It wasn't of consequence, he needed to let out some magic. He stormed down the stairs and pushed into the common room without breaking stride, his blood hot and a throbbing in his skull.
"There you are, mate!" Blaise looked up from a chessboard and he shoved a younger year sitting across from him off the stool. The boy fell with a thud and went to shout but Blaise snapped his fingers at him, "Piss off." He scrambled to his feet and away as Draco took his spot on the stool.
"I'm not much for company but I could use an outlet." Draco grumbled.
"Mm, couldn't we all? Want to duel? Maybe go flying? Pansy might be free if that's more your speed." Draco sneered at the suggestion which made Blaise cracked a grin. "Granger, again?"
Draco aggressively moved the pieces back to place and pushed a pawn forward on the board. "No." he clipped. Blaise looked at him through his eyelashes before moving his own piece.
"You turn your nose but angry shagging is a great stress relief. Daph has been quite the acrobat-"
"Stop. Circe, please do not expand." Draco ran a hand over his face and his nails scraped against the little hairs growing along his jaw. He'll need to remove his beard hair again tomorrow morning, it was coming in thicker these days. "Granger was - entertaining that sodding McLaggen. She was practically running from him last week and now she's...giggling! I'm so-"
"That's because of Weasley, not you." Blaise sipped his tea and his gaze flicked to the students passing by before he set the cup back down.
Draco tilted his head and chewed his bottom lip before moving another chess piece. "Doesn't matter why" he trailed off and clasped his hands together and pressed his knuckles to his lips.
"Maybe," Blaise moved another piece, "All I know is Weasley was high and mighty from winning the quidditch match and snogged half their house in the celebrations." Blaise itched the back of his head and rustled his hair into a mess. "Granger was fuming. Theo said he nearly made a pass at her when he found her crying but- He's too good a bloke, our Theo."
Draco had tensed up as the facts were laid before him but relaxed, shoulders slumping feeling shame he was so angry with his friend for seeing her upset and not telling him. Another chess piece was clacked down harder than necessary, the other pieces shifting slightly and Blaise smirked at him. "As livid as you get, she isn't yours, Draco. Even if he had gotten some play from Granger, it's none of your business, is it?"
"I'm not talking about this. I told you, I don't care. I can't care about anything but the mission." Draco mumbled bitterly as Blaise took his pawn, smashing it to pieces. He swept the pieces off with his wand.
"Have you tried occluding? Not for nothing but the more you publicly fall apart, the less you can keep pretending."
"I do but I need to practice more. It's difficult to make time." Draco spun the ring on his finger again, contemplating his next move.
He remembers how much he liked Blaise when he settled him with a hard gaze and offered all he could offer him in a situation like this, his time. "I'll come with you to the room after dinner. We can practice together."
There's no way Granger is happy, he can tell the next day. The slump in her shoulders, her head bowed and her hands always clutching something, her bag, an open book, her robes until her knuckles were white, every time she was in the corridors; it was painfully obvious to him. It doesn't explain to him why she had been flirting with the Cormac git and why, today, she is alone again. The rake was nowhere to be seen. She had even sat by herself at breakfast and lunch and it kept making his chest ache. He suddenly realized he had been following her when she was crossing the wooden bridge towards Hogsmeade and stopped dead center, whirling to look at him.
He doesn't stop his stride, he even managed to not stumble a bit when her eyes met his. He feels his cheeks burning with flame, slightly embarrassed by being caught but he stuffed his hands in his pockets as he shifted to veer around her. "Granger," he says casually.
"Are you following me?" The hesitation in her voice told him he wasn't as obvious as he had worried. He glanced over his shoulder as he continued to the other side of the walkway.
"Why would I be following you? I only want to sit by the lake and feed the Giant Squid; we have an agreement." He paused at the end and smirked at her. "Want to join me, lonely girl?" She turned red but that angry shade instead of the embarrassed pink he loved so much. She pressed her lips together and he gave her a few moments to think. When she didn't answer, he shrugged his shoulder and carried on to his sudden new destination. "Alright then."
"Y-yes, Wait! Ohh- Ahh!!!" She gripped her bag tighter and ran after him, slipping down the grassy hillside and bumping her arse with a yelp. He couldn't help but laugh, leaning up the steep slope to offer her a hand. "Bugger! These were new!" She cried, standing and gripping her backside. Her stockings had ripped at the back of her thighs. A fact he tried so hard to not notice he thought he might burst a blood vessel trying not to look.
"Could always be worse. You could have fallen in front of everyone in class or the Great Hall." He released her hand to wrap her arm around his and help her keep balance as they continued toward the lake. "Or someone could see you like this, with me." He raised an eyebrow at her and she scoffed.
"I'm not so lucky. I'm apparently the most dull witch in Gryffindor, if not the whole school. Even the gossip about me is boring."
Draco shrugged and noticed there was a group of students by the lake, heading up toward them and he decided he was meant to help her poor school girl woes. Even if it was for selfish reasons, he pulled her toward a shaded tree and winked at her, giving a cheeky smirk. "Let me help. Stay like this." He leaned her into the trunk and took her bag off her shoulder, dropping it to the side. Her eyes went wide as he leaned his arm over her head and crowded her space. "If this doesn't piss off Weasley, I can't imagine anything will." He brushed her hair over her shoulder with his other hand before he slid his fingers along the length of her tie.
He flashed his bright smile at her as the group of students passed behind him, a small shout and gasp followed by rushed whispering as they continued up the hill. He closed his eyes tightly and took a deep, calming breath. Her face was so close, so innocent and so surprised, he worried he wouldn't be able to stop himself if she made any move that she liked this. That she liked being in a semi-secluded area with him leaning closely; he wants to grab her chin and make her look up into his eyes.
Instead she is staring at the knot on his tie and chewing her lip. Merlin, why did he think this was a good idea? She watched the group reach the bridge and a loud burst of giggles as they looked over at her again. "That's going to be so fun to explain." She said dryly. He stepped back three solid steps and rolled his eyes at her, moving back down toward his favorite rock on the shore.
"I don't think you need to. Weasley and Scarhead are imbeciles and you don't need to concern yourself with them or their brain dead opinions." Draco cast a quick charm to clear the rock of any dirt and sat himself down, she hovered behind him, putting her hands on her hips again.
"They're my friends- not imbeciles!"
"Are they now?" he drawled and brushed his robes down. "My mistake. It seemed they weren't talking to you. And I was told you hexed Weasel with a knob nose yesterday."
"That's-"
"Granger. It's fine." His voice came out sturdy with authority, stopping her attempt to defend her actions. "You don't have to explain anything; least of all to me." He dug into his pockets and found the handkerchief with dried fish he carried daily to feed the squid. The days he fed it, the squid would keep away from the common room windows; he was tired of the first years crying every time his looming shadow passed. He flicked a few pieces out onto the lake and the waves started to ripple. She stood there for a while longer and he felt her eyes digging into the back of his head.
"How do you think of me?" The question is so open and delicate that he didn't want to answer. So he didn't for a few minutes, he let the quiet be his reply but when she sat next to him, sitting on her heels delicately, he begrudgingly looked at her. She was still waiting for a response.
"I don't think about you, Granger. Not unless you're in my line of sight." He lied, throwing another dried fish out and a tentacle breached the surface to pull the offers under the black surface.
"Then what do you think of me right now?" He glanced at her from the corner of his eye and looked up into the sun as he tried to give her an answer that would still keep her safe and his reputation intact.
"I think it's silly that you care what anyone thinks of you. Or what anyone says about you - it doesn't matter. You're going to save the fucking world, who cares what those nimrods whisper about you." She looked away and began to tug at the straps of her shoes, slipping them off her feet one at a time. He tossed another fish and the squid caught it in the air.
He looked at the far end of the lake, the trees blending together as she rose to her knees, slid her stockings over her hips and down her thighs before sitting back on her bum and pulling them off completely. He bit the inside of his cheek to not think about how intimate that motion was. To not think of her somewhere else, somewhere with a locked door as she tugged more than just her stockings off her ankles - it was a near impossible task. He had to shift his trousers but was able to do so with some subtly, swallowing over the massive lump in his throat.
She bunched up the offending stockings and when she went to stuff them in her bag, he stopped her. His fingers gripped them and pulled them from her hands. "I take it you don't know how to mend these?" He hoped his voice sounded normal and not as strained as it felt.
"I don't." She looked at him with her brows furrowed. "I'm not much of a homemaker." She scooted closer to the edge and dipped her toes into the lake, not bothered by the giant squid when his tentacles examined her foot curiously before snatching another dried fish instead of her. He turned his hips away to make room.
"Hm, I don't think I'd call it that. I rip clothes all the time," he laid her stockings out on the rock and pulled his wand, dragging it along the rips and it slowly wound itself back together. "Typically I'm ripping them off someone but I hit a growth spurt two years ago and my shirts started to split at the shoulders. Very expensive so I learned a few spells and-... this is boring. I apologize." He finished the last tear and looked over at her, a bemused smile on her face.
"No, It's fine. It's actually lovely hearing about something so..." She examined his work over his shoulder, bracing her hands on him to see. "mundane about you. It almost makes you seem human." When he turned to see her face, she was so close he thought his heart stopped. With a slight turn he could capture her lips, he could lay her on his favorite spot and snog his favorite person and everything would be fine. Nothing wrong would ever happen again, she would make everything better.
That was dangerous. That was far too dangerous a line of thought and he snatched the stockings off the floor and held them in her face. She leaned away from him and carefully reached forward to take them. His stomach lurched forward, his soul screaming. 'Touch her. Touch her, gods dammit! She's right here!' But he swallowed hard and threw the last handful of the dried fish into the lake and stood, looking down at her. She looked confused again, shocked at how quickly his temperature towards her changed. He couldn't blame her, it isn't her fault he was who he was. It's not her fault that a wisp of her shampoo set his heart racing and he desperately needed to put distance between them. "I'll bring more tomorrow, mate." He spoke to the giant squid.
"I'll see you around, Granger. I won't be mending clothes for you again - unless I'm the one who tore them off." He wanted to wink, to show her he was jesting and lighten the mood, suggesting he would accidentally rip her cloak or something innocent. Yet when he met her eyes, they were darker than usual and it took a single breath to realize she was taking his words in a much different way. Even if he might have imagined ripping her clothes off in some corner of the castle, seeing her affected by his words was rattling. Cold fear spiked up his spine and he forced his eyes away from hers to his shoes.
There was a quiet splash as she took her feet out and bunched her knees under her chin, curling in on herself as that pink color licked at her cheeks. He could practically hear his wristwatch ticking as they didn't acknowledge the suddenly thin air. They didn't say a word to each other as he offered a hand to help her to her feet and dropped it like it burned before quickly striding away. He broke into a run when he reached the bridge and didn't look back. He was such a fucking idiot.
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