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In Love and War	By : TheLadyFeylene Category: Harry Potter > General > General Views: 1489 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 1-In Love and War
- 2-II
- 3-III
- 4-IV
- 5-V
- 6-VI
- 5
- 6
Author's Note: This is it folks, the final chapter. And since Character Two is so damn obvious, his name is used. Character One's name never is, but really, he's so damn obscure anyway. But there's a select few who ought to figure out... Hope you enjoyed this, I enjoyed writing it.

In Love and War
VI

Nothing can go wrong? *Nothing* can go wrong? I have told him, time and time again that he must be careful! And now look at where it has gotten us!

I suppose, things could be going much worse. He is correct, I am forced to admit. He is skilled with curses and in dueling, there is a good chance-if there are only one or two-that he can hold them off, perhaps even kill them. And if not...our lord will not leave him in the hands of Aurors. If only to make certain he keeps his mouth shut.

I can hear them, barely, far behind me. He does seem to be doing a rather good job. I am of half a mind to go back, but that would be foolish.

Eventually, I find myself out of the building. I have no idea where I am, or if I am beyond the wards or not. I am on a muggle street, that much I am certain. I cannot risk Apparating this close to the building. I walk, as nonchalantly as I can. It does not matter there is no one here to see me at the moment.

Once far enough away by my judgements, I send myself quickly back to the Dark Lord's manor. My heart is pounding in my chest, and I do not like the way my hands are shaking. My hands do not shake.

It is the dead of night, but I know he will be awake. He is always awake, I believe. And he has been alerted of my return. My solo return. I cannot help but be nervous. This man...he is a vengeful being. I serve him yes, because I believe he will come out on top. But I do not like him much.

I am escorted to his study. He is in a dark green dressing robe, and he is spinning a globe, idly. He looks remarkably relaxed.

"Ah....you have returned. Where is your companion?" He does not even look at me. I drop to one knee, eyes on the floor.

"There were Auror's, my lord." I tell him, my heart still pounding. I abhor this emotion, fear. It is weak and useless, but I cannot escape it tis night.

"He is dead, then?"

"No, my lord." I shake my head. "Not that I know of."

"And the documents?"

"Still at the ministry..." This is the part I have been dreading. He is looking at me now, and I feel as a mouse must feel when caught in the eyes of a serpent.

"You did not get them?"

"Aurors, my lord..." I repeat, stupidly. I am going to die.

"You had your priorities."

"I am sorry my lord."

"How is it, then, that the hounds of the Ministry found you?" I hate his voice. It is slick and low, and it speaks of my death.

"I do not know." I do not. "We encountered every trap we were told of...and more so. We were forced to take an alternate route..."

"And you did not check well enough?"

"We did." I watched him.

"Not well enough....they will move them." He sighs, and rests his head on his hand. "You must follow them, you understand."

"But...my lord...I do not know where they will be taken..."

"You are not a stupid man. They will be moved somewhere safe...somewhere impenetrable..."

"Hogwarts." I breathe the word. I cannot possibly sneak into the school!

"You will go there."

"You wish me to sneak in, unaided, under Dumbledore's nose?" The world has gone mad, and our lord with it.

"You will not sneak." He stands up, and he is grinning as though he has thought of something terribly clever. "You will go to that old fool...tell him you have seen the error of your ways...beg sanctuary." He glances at me from the corner of his eye.

It is madness. I will be handed over to the Aurors.

"And....?"

"What?" He cocks his head.

"What of my companion?"

"What of him? He was stupid enough to get himself caught, he deserves all he gets. You will leave in the morning. That is all."

I am dismissed. He turns his back on me, and I leave his study.

I am...enraged is too weak a word. Deserving? I gave him my word. I told him I would come for him. I certainly cannot storm Azkaban, but I will do what I must. He did that, for me. It is touching, and utterly foreign. We...we do not do these things. But he has. I have always thought him to be something remarkable.

I cannot find sleep. I toss and turn, in the bed where we lay together, and it eludes me. I can think only of him, of the look in his eyes as he told me to flee. He cared little for his safety, only for mine. It is amazing, this selfless love.

If they could only see it. I am touched, deeply, by his feelings for me. Surely I return them, but...

It is as a puzzle in my mind. I work it over, hoping to glean something more from it. He has possibly given over his life, for mine. Would I have done the same? Most likely yes. For him, at least.

I wonder where he is now. The noble minded Aurors...they go about, pretending that they give their captors tea and crumpets. I am rather certain they are far more...persuasive in their interrogation techniques. I can only hope that he is well. I know it is a vain hope, but one that eases me all the same.

I find it is morning. I have lain awake the night, my heart a lump of ice somewhere near the bottom of my throat. I cannot fathom this. I had assume the Dark Lord would....

But I must be realistic. He does not care for the individual, only for the result. And I have devoted myself to this man? I am disgusted.

I am also ignored. It is as though no one cares. I am beginning to realize that perhaps I have chosen my sides unwisely. But I have been given-remarkably-a slim chance at redemption.

I will go to Dumbledore. And I will beg sanctuary, but in earnest. I will tell...most of what I know. There are some things I am bound-magically-to keep secret. But those I am not, I will gladly pour into his ears. For a favor, of course.

I am not stupid. I will give, as long as I will get. It is all I can do, it is his only chance.

I do not prepare, there is no preparing. I Apparate-hopefully for the last time-from the Lord's manor. To Hogsmeade. I walk the rest of the ay to the school. I have not even changed from the day before. I do not care. There is one thing on my mind, and that is a man with laughing green eyes and copper hair. I made him a promise, and I am going to keep it.

I am allowed in the school. The Headmaster will see me. I am nervous, of course. This is a difficult thing, for even the most stoic. I am ushered into his office, told to sit. I am tempted to look about me, but I do not. I keep my eyes on my hands, folded in my lap.

There is always the chance he will not listen, but I doubt it. He is a kind and forgiving man. Eventually, I hear the rustle of fabric that alerts me to his presence.

"Ah. Severus. I must say this is quite a surprise."

I look up now. He his sitting down across from me. I find that now I cannot form words. My heart is still stuck in my damned throat. I clear it, and my fingers flex and clench in my lap.

"Headmaster." I say, and my voice is tight.

"To what do I owe this visit?"

As though he does not know. He isn't a foolish man, by any stretch of the imagination.

"I have information for you." I tell him, my eyes focused on the desk between us.

"Oh? And what sort?"

He is insufferable! I clench my teeth, forcing myself to be calm. We are wasting precious time. But he does not know this.

"Headmaster, I did not come here to play games. You know exactly the sort of information I am offering you." My eyes remain on his desk.

"Yes...yes, I suppose I do." He sighs heavily. "May I ask, however, why you are here?"

"I would imagine you know that as well." I force out through gritted teeth.

"Yes, you never were one to admit you had made a mistake." His voice is tired. "But I am thankful you have."

"I will give you names, and plans." I say, my eyes finally raising to meet his. "But they do not come free..."

"They wouldn't, would they? Severus, I can offer you limited protection..."

"No." I shake my head. I have little care for myself.

"No?" He raises an eyebrow, clearly surprised. "What is it then?"

"Last night....at the ministry...." I cannot quite form the words.

"Yes, Auror's apprehended a young Death Eater attempting to steal some very important documents..."

"He is...close to me." I choose my words carefully. "I...I was there, also." I force out the words. I must be honest with Dumbledore, or he will give me nothing. "He...he was captured in an attempt to allow me to escape."

"An attempt that succeeded, I see."

"Yes....The Dark Lord was not pleased, when our mission failed. He instructed me to come here, to lay myself at your feet and beg forgiveness."

"To use you." Dumbledore says.

"Yes." I nod. "I have no desire to serve him."

"A noble sentiment." He nods. "Please name your price?"

"My companion." I state simply. "I want him released, and pardoned. I know it is in your power."

I watch him carefully, just as he watches me. He is silent, for a long while. He folds his hands, and his eyes study mine. I've a good idea what he is doing, and I allow it. I could stop him if I wished, but let him see. Let him validate my words with my mind. He sighs, and lowers his gaze.

"Severus...I am sorry."

I do not quite understand his words. He looks old and fragile, in this moment.

"For what?"

"There...there is nothing I can do."

"There is." I know that. He holds strings, the minister worships him!

"No...you misunderstand. There is nothing anyone can do."

His words are daggers through me. His eyes are kind, but I do not care. I must have mistaken him. He cannot mean what I think.

"Headmaster...?"

"I am very sorry." He tells me. "This is a war..."

"I am well aware what this is!" I should not have left him.

"It was quick, I understand."

Cold comfort. He is dead. The words are vicious. It should have been me. Had I stayed, he would have gotten the documents. He would have escaped, and been rewarded. He would have his bloody giant house, and his Quidditch pitch....

"You are welcome here..."

"No." I stand up. He allowed him to die! His stupid plans, and his stupid missions and his stupid cause!

"Severus." Dumbledore stands as well. "I understand. You are upset."

"Upset is hardly the word." Anger, I find, is the foremost emotion within me. And something that is a cousin of guilt.

"We could very much use your information..." His voice is kind, and I find myself sinking back down into the chair.

"And you will vouch for me?"

"I will do what I can..." He says.

"The Dark Lord must believe I am spying...." Even all of the headmaster's protection will not lend itself to me when it comes to him.

"And he shall." Dumbledore nods. "Would you be, perhaps willing....?"

"To spy for you, instead?" Oh, what a day this has turned to be. "Yes, fine." I wish to be alone with my grief, when it comes.

"Yes, this is hardly the time." He says. "You will be shown to a room...I will speak with you later. When you've...rested."

"Yes."

I allow myself to be led away, and locked in a room. I know it is locked, and I do not care. He trusts me, but not that much. I lay on the bed, and my mind goes to him.

Dead. He is not supposed to be dead. We are to be together, remembered in story and song. We were to be heros...

And he is dead, and I am twice a turncoat. How often we fail. All our dreams, shattered. He is gone, and I am alone. Perhaps the Dark Lord will know, and I will die as well. It doesn't seem such a bad thing, really.

I want to cry for him, but I find I have no tears. There is simply a cold and empty void inside of me. I hold close is memory, turning it over and over in my mind. Ten years, at least, and now nothing. He is gone. And for me. He died for me. It is a...staggering thought. His life has ended, so that mine may continue.

I will see the Dark Lord fall for this. I will see him avenged. He had no right fighting anyway. He was never a fighter, only in my defense. Everything he has done, has been for me. He has always put myself before him...to the end. I only wish I had done as much for him.

I can do nothing for him now, save remember him. He will never be written of in history books, save for as a statistic. His name will not be hailed, there will be no monuments or tributes in his name. But I will remember him.

And at least he knew that I loved him.

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Fin
- 5
- 6
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In Love and War