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Both Sides	By : ccino49 Category: Harry Potter > Het - Male/Female Views: 10429 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 62
- 63
- 64
I do not own any of the characters or places from the Harry Potter books or films. They all belong to J.K. Rowling. All that is mine is Lou and the plot. I am not making any money from the writing of this story.

Both Sides.

CH 63 A new Binding
Severus was back to the age problem. Now they were no longer Binding in the traditional sense, he hated himself for still lusting after her, even though he knew that in a few days he would be taking her anyway, even though he knew he loved her, and he did love her, he still felt it was wrong. Yes he�d enjoyed taking her that one time, more than enjoyed if truth be known, just as he�d enjoyed her using her mouth on him, he�d even enjoyed it when he�d fucked her mouth as punishment, but the fact it was due to the binding absolved him from guilt, at least in his mind it did. He�d not been allowed total control when he punished her that way, if the binding decided he must be brutal with her, that was what he was made to do.
He�d felt insanely jealous when he was forced to allow Malfoy, Lestrange and McNair to fondle her most intimate places, the urge to avada all three of them was hard to resist. Severus was amazed that Lou suffered their maulings as well as she did, he�d been reading her thoughts and emotions constantly that afternoon and did not expect her to cope as well as she did. The main reason he�d been angry with her after Albus� visit was because he was even jealous of the old man laying hands on her. As far as Severus was concerned, she was his now and no one had a right to touch her but him, even if she was still under age.
�Shit.� He cried. �Why does she have to be fifteen?� He ran his fingers through his hair, pulling at it as he tried to make reason of his emotions.

In the end though, he couldn�t and went to bed.
Lou knew what Tilly told her was the truth; she knew that Severus was trying to protect her from himself. It still didn�t take away the empty feeling she now had, even though he was only in the next room.
They did both find one advantage the next day however, and that was privacy in the bathroom. Neither of them minded showering or bathing together, even peeing was acceptable now, but as to the other, it was a relief to say the least.
Most of day five was spent recapping on what they�d read, Kreatcher brought both her and Severus� copies of the Kalevala and Lou�s third book.
Albus came for half an hour after lunch to see how they were getting on with their research; he also brought a letter for Lou from Hermione.
Lou instinctively passed it to Severus, so he could read it and decide whether to tell her what it said.
�Lou, it is no longer necessary for me to read your mail.� He told her.
�Oh yeah. I forgot.� She said, pinking with embarrassment.
Neither of them realised though that Severus still held onto the missive and he automatically opened and read it once Albus had gone.
�It would appear the Headmaster has informed Miss Granger that you are currently undergoing an intensive education programme on matters not related to the school. She hopes you are well and will write back. Mr Potter and Miss Weasley also send their fondest regards. There is no mention of Mr Weasley.� He told her.
�At least I still have three friends then and my Slytherin friends too. They�re gonna wonder where I am too.�
�I am certain that Albus will have made some suitable excuse as to your absence. You do realise, that when we eventually return to Hogwarts, you will in fact be a married woman. You will no longer be known as Lou, you will be addressed as Madam Snape.�
�What? Why can�t I still be called Lou?�
�It is not fitting as a married woman Lou. Only I will be permitted that courtesy. Either you will be known as Madam Snape, or you will take your full title of Lady Louhi Melaina Nilsen-Black-Snape.�
�That�s a bigger mouthful than before. Can�t my friends at least call me Lou, please Severus.�

�In private yes, the rest of the time, in class, corridors, even outside, you will be Madam Snape. It is not debatable. There will also be the fact that I am the one you will be married to. I will still be your Professor and will show no favouritism, I will still deal as harshly with you as I did before. You may also find that being married to me will lose you many friends.�
�Why will it? If someone won�t be my friend because it�s you I�m married to, then I don�t want them as friends anyway. Besides, you�ll always be my best friend as well as my husband.�
�Lou, I will always be your best friend, your confidante, your husband, and your lover. There is also something else you must know. We have been lax in telling you before now with everything you have been through, but it is best you know now.�
�What is it? Do I have to do something else horrible?� She asked apprehensively.
�No Lou you do not.� He led her to the sofa and sat her down between his legs. �Lou when you were raped, Madam Pomfry healed you and naturally, she also did a pregnancy test. It was negative obviously.�

�Oh, I never even thought about that.� Then her eyes widened. �Severus, when we �you and me we never used �what if I�m ��
�You are not.�

�Phew. Did you test then, or did you do something to stop it happening? I�ve never really thought about anything like that, maybe I should go on the pill or something.�
�That will not be necessary. Lou when Madam Pomfry was testing you, she discovered something �something wrong. I can only assume it dates back to your earlier abuse as a child, that something was done to you that caused this.�

�Caused what Severus? What�s wrong with me?�
�Your uterus, the organ in which a child would grow, it is damaged beyond repair. Lou I am sorry, we will never have children.
Lou sat staring at the wall in shock. Babies were not something she�d ever really thought about much. Like all little girls, she�d imagined herself one day marrying a handsome prince in a fairytale wedding and having lots of babies. As time progressed and life took its toll on her, the fairy tale faded somewhat, then she learned how babies were really brought about. Once she discovered that, and learned what men wanted from her in particular, the dreams died altogether. Somehow though, the fact she now had no say in the matter seemed so unfair to her. No she didn�t want a baby right now, but she knew not to be afraid of sex with Severus, and it would have been good to think that one day they might have a baby, even two if it didn�t hurt too much.
�I�m sorry.� She said, sobbing. �I�m so, so sorry.�
He looked at her puzzled and turned her to face him. �Why on earth would you be sorry? I mean yes, be sorry that you cannot have them if children were what you really wanted, but do not apologise to me Lou.�
�Severus I can�t give you children, don�t you want them? If you decide to find someone who can, after, I�ll understand.� She told him as her heart broke.
�You foolish witch.� He whispered as he pulled her in a tight embrace. If I am honest, I never thought to meet anyone I cared for enough to want children with, and I would certainly not wish to find another witch to give me children. If I cannot have them with you, I would rather not have any at all. Lou it is you I wish to spend my life with, had children come along, eventually, then fine, but I am not marrying you for the sole purpose of procreation. So long as I have you, it is enough. What about you, did you think to have children in the future?�
�Not since I was a little girl and found out how they were made. It�s just that I�ve had the choice taken away from me; I don�t get to decide for myself. It�s getting to be a habit with me, have you noticed?�
�What is becoming a habit?� He wanted to know.
�Not having control of my life, of what I want. Sometimes it�s as if everything�s mapped out, and I�m just here to follow whatever people tell me I have to do. The only good thing to come out of it all is you. I�m glad you happened.�
�I am relieved to hear you say so, though I can appreciate how it must feel that way. You will get to make decisions about your life eventually Lou, circumstances have not exactly been favourable for you so far, but they will improve, I promise. I want the feisty little she cat to re-emerge, though maybe without the claws this time.�
�Oh you.� She said, half giggling, half sobbing. �You hated me when I was like that.�
�I did not hate you Lou, I never hated you. I found you quite irritating at times, annoying at others. But hate? Never.�
�Yeah, but that was me, and I know you didn�t like me much, if at all.�

�At first no, I admit I did not like you. You drove me to distraction at times, however you grew on me somewhat over time. I dare say the feeling was mutual.�
�When you first threw me out of my home I thought you were the meanest person I�d ever met, it was the first place I�d ever felt safe. When you brought me to number twelve, kept putting things on my legs, shouting at me and spanking me, I was scared of you. Then I thought you were ashamed to be near me because of what I was and because I wasn�t smart and stuff. That was why I wanted to buy clothes that day in Diagon Alley, when I tried to hold your hand and you pushed me away, I thought it was because of how I looked or that I wasn�t good enough. I didn�t ever feel good enough for you and it hurt, lots. Everything I did was wrong, I didn�t fit in, no one wanted to be friends with me, I felt I was hurting all the time and I didn�t know what to do about it. It was worse after we got to be friends, I cared about you by then, when you left me behind and wouldn�t write back to me I was heartbroken. I spent ages learning to write with a stupid feather just so I could write to you. Then I got in trouble for the shadow thing and you finally took me with you, I thought we might at least be friends again, but that didn�t happed for ages either. I thought you hated me then and I was terrified of you. I would have done anything to make you like me Severus. I started to get confused after you said it was a mistake. My feelings were changing, growing. I couldn�t control them either, I still can�t. You still hurt me sometimes, and scare me, but it never stopped me feeling how I do. It never stopped me wanting to help you, whatever it cost me to do so. I don�t think I�ll ever be the Lou that I was again, too much has happened and I�m not sure what is me any more. All I am sure about is that I love you, I don�t want you to die and I�ll still do whatever it takes to make sure you don�t, and I want Voldemort gone forever. Am I good enough for you Severus, honestly?�
�Lou, the question should be, am I good enough for you. No one has shown me the depth of feeling you have shown, I confess I am a domineering person, that will not change, but I will never harm you knowingly. You are my life now, my reason to live. As much as I will demand a certain amount of obedience from you, my nature dictates that I will try to control you, at the same time I will love you with all of my being. I want to make you as happy as you make me.�
Neither said more on the subject, both preferring to lay in each others arms, taking comfort from one another until it was time for bed.
Severus still insisted on separate rooms though and Lou had no choice but to comply.
On day six, Lou upset Tilly when she said she wanted to make Severus� dinner and Severus was left to console the elf, telling her that Lou would soon be his wife and as such was entitled to cook when she chose.
On the last day of their unusual Binding, they were both surprised to hear a knock on the door. When Lou peeped through the curtains and saw Malfoy with a group of four other men she almost peed herself.
�It�s them again Severus, the Deatheaters. What are we gonna do?� She whispered.
�I shall have to admit them, they know we are here. Damn, how do we explain � Lou, what have you done?�

She was standing beside him naked, her head lowered and holding out her hands.
�Just put some blasted ropes on me Severus. We have to bluff this out, if we get found out now we�ll never get the chance to get rid of Voldemort.�
�Are you sure you can do this? You know what they might do.�

�Just do it Severus before I lose my nerve. Please.�
He took out his wand and spoke an incantation. Lou was now bound just the way she was during the Binding. She stood slightly behind him, her head lowered as he clenched his jaw and opened the door.
�Lucius, what an unexpected surprise.� Severus told the arrogant blonde man.
�Evidently Severus. What took you so long, I was beginning to think you had overslept.�

�We were �otherwise engaged, you know how it is.�
Malfoy�s lips quirked as he peered down his nose at Lou. �I do indeed my friend. I cannot say I blame you with such a tasty little morsel. I may try her out myself before I leave. Her mouth at least.�
Severus had Tilly bring through drinks and snacks as the group found seats. Lou stayed demurely by Severus� side at all times until he told her to kneel beside his chair, which she did.
�Tell me Lucius, are you here on a social visit, or are you here under orders?�
�A bit of both. Our Lord wishes to know that everything is going as planned, he is looking forward to the ceremony tomorrow.�
�I see, and it requires five of you to ask a simple question?�

�Not at all Severus, our brothers are merely curious. They too welcome the opportunity to taste the latest, and I must say youngest addition to our growing family.�
�That is too bad Lucius, if our Lord wishes only to know that everything is as it should be, you may tell him yes. Other than that, she remains mine until such time as the Dark Lord commands otherwise.�
The four Deatheaters with Lucius complained loudly at Severus� refusal to let them maul his bride to be. It was common practice amongst them to share their wife�s and girlfriends.
��You Lucius have already witnessed the result of what happens when the Bindee is abused unnecessarily, I have already stated we were otherwise engaged when you arrived, I do not wish to tire her out before I continue with my own ministrations.�

�She will have to get used to it sometime Severus, the Dark Lord himself intends to have a go at her after the seven day consummation period, then we shall all be given the opportunity to fuck her. How many of us do you think she will manage before she can take no more?�
�When the time comes, I dare say she will cope admirably, until then, I will share her with no one. I bid you good day gentlemen.�
Severus stood and Lou jumped to her feet to follow him to the door. There was a lot of grumbling from the disappointed group who�d come only for the chance to get a blow job from Lou. Even Malfoy was looking forward to that.
�I am sure Narcissa will be delighted to oblige you on your return Lucius.� Severus told him before closing the door on five angry wizards.
Lou let out a small cry of relief, causing Severus to whirl round to face her.
�Lou, are you alright?�

�Mmm, just a bit shaken.� She uttered in a trembling voice. �I don�t know what I�d have done if they�d touched me though.�
�I am proud of you Lou, you did extremely well considering. Better in fact than when you were bound by the binding ropes.�

�Speaking of ropes.� She told him, holding out her hands.
He removed the magical ropes he�d bound her with before admitting the Deatheaters.

�It is a pity you insist on wearing clothes, I quite enjoyed seeing you naked all the time.�
�You stay naked twenty four seven, then tell me how much you like it.� Lou said, taking her wand from the drawer near the coat stand and re dressing herself.

�Severus?�

�What?� He asked, leading her to the sofa.
Lou waited until they were in their favourite position before speaking.

�Tomorrow, will I have to let him �Voldemort �touch me?�

�Most likely. You heard what Malfoy said, the Dark Lord will want to examine you himself before the ceremony begins. Believe me Lou, were there any way of preventing it without arousing his suspicion, or inspiring his wrath, I would find it. All I can suggest are the calming cuffs. Would you prefer I have Albus bring them in readiness?�
�No, I need to be fully me tomorrow Severus. I want to have my wits about me as much as possible. Will I have to pretend to have the ropes on tomorrow?�

�No, they would normally be discarded at midnight of the seventh and final day.�

�But I have to be naked?�

�You do.�

�No wedding dress, nothing?�

�I am afraid not. Only after the ceremony is over will you be provided with a gown and nothing else. I am sorry Lou, that is how it must be.�
�It�s alright, who needs wedding dresses anyway. They only get used once, then they�re put in an attic or something like forever.� She told him with a brave smile.

The truth was, she would have loved to get married in a traditional white dress like she�d seen other brides wear. She wanted the flowers and the bridesmaids and the pageboys. But she couldn�t tell him that, he�d think she was stupid and sentimental.
�I think nothing of the sort. Had we the choice, I would give you the wedding you really want Lou.�

�You �you heard? How? I thought it was the Binding that let you do that.�

�We are still Binding remember, only in a very different manner. You recall the day you broke the original Binding, we both were able to access one another�s thoughts, it seems that it will continue. Can you still hear mine?�

�I don�t know. It�s never happened again and I�ve never tried to do it for myself.�
�Good. I would prefer that you did not.�

�That�s not very fair, you get to hear me whenever you want and I can�t hear yours.�

�I only access your thoughts when I consider it necessary, have you tried using occlumency against me?�
�You�d have known if I had, I still shift when I try it.�
�For Merlin�s sake Lou, when you meet the Dark Lord tomorrow, you cannot morph when he decides to perform Legillimancy on you.�
�I�m sorry Severus, I�ve tried, I really have but I can�t help it. If he doesn�t like it well �tough.� She said nervously. �Hopefully it�ll surprise him enough that he�ll forget to look any further. What happens at the ceremony?�
�An official, as yet I do not know who it will be, he will ask me questions relating to the seven times seven. You will be required to perform some proof that you are indeed subservient to my dominance, more than likely it will be a sexual act. Then it will be time to remove the collar.�
�I have to what? You mean �in front of Him?�
�Whatever he requests of you, you will do, but you will be doing it to me Lou, not him. You will have to block him from your mind, if you do not perform satisfactorily, the Binding will not be completed and it is likely that we will both be avada�d.�
Lou didn�t know what to say to that, the thought of willingly doing anything intimate in front of someone else terrified her.

�What does he look like? Is he old, young? I imagine him as a big ugly man with loads of hair and sharp teeth like a goblin.�
�He has a rather -- serpentine appearance about him.�
�Serpentine, you mean snake like or something? He sounds weird.�

�I suppose I should show you, otherwise it will come as something of a shock when you do meet him.�

Severus removed a book from one of the shelves and a small door appeared. He placed a hand against it and it opened. Removing a small bowl, he placed it on the table and used his wand to remove a long silvery thread from his temple.

�Come here, place you finger into the bowl.� He told her, holding her hand and entering the pensive with her.
TBC
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Both Sides